Victim Mentality

[Seashore]

I am impressed with this term.

What is it? Is it the underlying belief that people have that they're practically powerless to control what happens to them? That's my attempt to define it...

I just learned this term about a year ago, but now it seems paramount in importance to me, because I think Stewart Swerdlow is right when he says that's what our (the human race) problem is, and that's what we have to overcome if we're going to succeed in healing our troubled world...

So, I would like to ask members to share their ideas about how to overcome victim mentality.

[Seashore]

I've already posted this on another thread, but I like it so much I want to post it here, too. I think it applies.

This is a YouTube video demonstrating qi gong, defined in the dictionary as "a Chinese system of prescribed physical exercises or movements performed in a meditative state."

I think doing something like this would make a person feel strong inside:

"Kuan Yin Standing Qigong Part 1 - Sheng Zhen" ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cCD0l7COqk&feature=PlayList&p=4A0F1D5CEDF5582B&index=0)

[Jnana]

So, I would like to ask members to share their ideas about how to overcome victim mentality.


If you haven't read it yet, check out "Handbook for the New Paradigm" which is available various places on the net including the Avalon Ark Library here (http://www.projectavalon.net/joomla/index.php?option=com_docman&task=cat_view&gid=521&Itemid=28). It discusses at length the issue of victim mentality and how to overcome it.

For starters, STOP focusing on those who you believe to be in control. You give them power by focusing on them. STOP focusing on doomsday scenarios. You make them more likely by focusing on them. STOP following anyone and START thinking for yourself. Focus on the future you want, a future that we can all be proud of, that is for the best and highest good of all. START making it happen, in whatever ways present themselves to you. Make it your personal responsibility.

You can only be controlled if you continue to forget what you are - an amazingly powerful sovereign being.

Selfishness is also an important part of the victim mentality. Becoming unselfish, focusing more on the needs of others and doing something about it, is a good way to start.

[Moxie]

In order to have victim mentality, one must also have oppressors, or what is perceived as oppressors.

What or who controls you? A person, emotions, a chemical or food?

When something takes over your life to the degree where it controls you, you create a mind-pattern that says “outside forces can and do control me” (Blue Blood, True Blood, Swerdlow).

You can also be a victim via ignorance, having no awareness. An example would be drinking fluoridated water. Taking medications just because the FDA approves them. Not investigating ingredients such as food colors & artificial ingredients & their affects on the brain & body.

Religious upbringings & beliefs may create guilt, shame & unworthiness.

Victim mentality can look like there are those that Have and those that Have Not. Judgment, blame and not taking responsibility are all symptoms of victim mentality.

This world seems to be all about this contrast of victim/oppressor.
And, truly, it’s an inside job to discern your own portions of either or both aspects and to actively Release limiting patterns.

Excerpted from Blue Blood, True Blood:
What is the difference between the Illuminati and you?
They do not have a victim mentality. They do not have an inferiority complex. They do not have low self-worth issues. They do not have guilt issues. They do not have issues of lack. They do not live in denial. They do not place limitations on themselves. They do have high levels of self-worth. They do believe that they are superior. They do believe that they deserve the best. They do have a winner’s mentality. They do know their purpose. They do know they have secret knowledge. They do know that they have power to influence society. They do have a global consciousness.

When you change your mind pattern… you will no longer perceive the Illuminati as a threat… study them closely. They are some of your greatest teachers.

[tone3jaguar]

I call it Victimitis. I learned this term from a book on business management called "Flight off the Buffalo". It is a low vibrational state of consciousness where in you view everything that happens in you reality as an attack on your mind a body. The opposite would be viewing everything that happens in your reality as part of the system of learning that your higher self is laying out in front of you. This victimitis consciousness is what the majority of individuals who immerse themselves in negative media propaganda end up accidentally falling into. This includes negative alternative media. It is easy to get out of once you decide to take a step outside the box and view your life as if you where an outside observer.

[futureyes]

victim mentality ... two very significant words in this time place ...

many of us find our selves here ... in victim mode ... we're human ... of course we will visit here from time to time ... it is so we remember a particular lesson ... retrieve it ... but then move on ...
NOT ... remain playing this role ...

how is it then that we find our selves stuck here ... like a hamster on a wheel ... going round and round and feeling the fear of jumping off at some point ... what holds us here ...

i believe it is our ingraining ... thinking we are powerless ... can't pull our selves from playing this role ... our power we give away to others so we are left feeling helpless ... helpless is good when we wish not to take responsibility for what we have created ... remaining victims ... meek ... the ... "i can't do it ... i'm afraid to .. oh looky poor me ... look where this life has placed me ... i am so helpless ... i am so weak ... i really am so powerless ..."

this really does allow us the satisfaction of feeling some kind of "good" emotion ... we like that ... we like it when others feel fool compassion for us ... bask in it for a bit ... feel wanted ... special even ...
ok ok ... be it that ... but there comes a point in time that this no longer works ... and it shouldn't ... it isn't meant to ...

time to get off the wheel ... take ownership for our actions ... stop feeling so sorry for our selves ... start knowing we DO have power ... stop giving it away ... start living responsibly in all ways ...

why do we keep falling into this victim mentality trap ... why does this continue to happen to us ...
it is because we allow it ... and it's not happening TO us ... life ... all of it ... happens FOR us ... only the victim thinks they have no power and all happens to them ...

go back ... back into this life experience ... is there something still remaining there that hasn't been cleaned up?
is there an emotion or are there several emotional experiences that we have simply placed on the back burner hoping they will just disappear?

they don't ever just disappear ...

most often we fall back into victim mentality because we have NOT ... healed from our past fear experiences ...

time to do this ... locate our courage ... go back ... dig deep ... locate the fear emotion ... the one that had pained us back when ... bring it to the surface ... dark to light ... understand its teaching ... file that lesson ... release the emotion finally ... clean it up ... know you may not have had the power to do that prior but that was then ... now we DO have the strength to do so ... the energy supports us exponentially now to do this ...

face the fear ... what's not allowing us to move forward ... go back and find that what we believe holds us in its grip ... continuously trapping us as victims for we are not that ...

we are not fear ... we are not victims of this life experience ...

we are love ... creators of this beautiful life we have chosen to experience ...

why do we choose to drive our vehicles forward but continue looking in our rearview mirrors for the past ... our past ... what sense of security does this give us ...
always looking backwards ... how do we focus all our energy with what is ahead of us ... it isn't possible ... let's just forget the rearview mirrors even exist ... there is only what is in front of us ... this way there's no way we'll be trapped into victim mentality ...

once we've driven like this for awhile ... not looking back ... it becomes natural to us ... let us be flexible and not so rigid ... let us say we CAN ... rather than we cannot ...

when we play the victim role ... we are conveying to the universe who allowed us the opportunity of this life experience ... "hey ... thanks for this life ... rather than expanding in all ways ... i choose to simply take a back seat ... allow others to drive my vehicle ... i wish not to take responsibility for what happens ... i'll just coast ... after all ... i'm quite powerless ... i am fearful ... i am weak ... poor little me ..."
what a slap in the face this is ... to the universe ... to our purpose ... to this earth ... to others ... but mostly ... to our selves ...
this is conveying we have forgotten who we are ... true gods of creation ... power ... love and light ...

can we see how we got to where we are as a whole in this regard?
so many of us deciding to simply coast ...

we cannot move forward whilst in victim mentality ... it isn't possible ... the new world has a sign posted just outside of it ... NO VICTIMS ALLOWED BEYOND THIS POINT ...

and ... by not moving onwards to freedom ... to expand to our true potentiality ... how we were meant to live ... in love ...
we remain as victims ... victims of this life experience ... forgetting what really is ...

and this is very sad ...

we must do what we can to move onwards ... if this relates for us to face our fears and clean that up ... find our truth ...
to finally move from the victims we sometimes think we are ... to freedom of such ...

then let's do it ... the more this worlds fear that gets cleaned up ... the better for all ...
and we are all ... a part of this individually ... we all need to heal ... raises vibration upon this earth when we do ...

one person ... then another ... how about one more ...
how about many ...
how about we raise this planet's vibration through the sky ...

how about we all finally pull our selves out of the victim mentality we believe we are held to ... we are not that ... not at all ...

true ... it will feel like **** to do this but it will only be TEMPORARY ... short lived ... we heal and we move onwards ...

how long has it been now that we have felt we have very little or no power?
this life experience?
past lives?

well ... that's about enough now ... this is why we're here at this juncture ... we have so much assisting us in this moment to move from what was to what is ... and create what will be ...

victim mentality must be released ... we need to take responsibility for our actions ... we can do this ...

clean it up ... heal from it ...

it is enough ...


release the fear ... release the victim ...


know love ... feel love ... be love ...

with love

:wub2:

[Sarahmay]

I think we all know people who exemplify victim mentality.

The "poor me" person, who has health problems they blame on the doctor, work problems they blame on the boss, family problems they blame on the wife and kids. And they use this to emotionally manipulate the people around them. There is a huge payoff for these individuals--they DON'T have to take responsibility for the **** they have created in their life.

It is easy to go up the line and blame the Illluminati, NWO, US gov't, organized religion, corporations, the banking industry....for everything that is wrong in this world and our own microcosm. How convenient to put it all onto THEM!

The truth is that we give away our own power when we believe that others control our circumstances. We are constantly putting out energy and getting back equivalent energy--so if we put out negative energy, guess what happens? I see this so clearly in my life, having beautiful synchronistic events present themselves to me when I am open to accepting them. It is hard sometimes to watch others struggle when they are clearly sabotaging themselves.

[futureyes]

we ARE what we create ... we CREATE what we are ...

we can finally come to see this ... or not ...

take responsibility ... or not ...

we can break free of the old ... or not ...

create the new ... or not ...

and if we do ... we live the new ...

and if we don't ... we won't ...

pretty simple equation ... why do we complicate it so ...

because we fear ...

who do we fear ... do we really fear the doers of evil ...

or ...

do we fear who we really are ...

do we fear the knowing of our own power ...

do we intuitively fear it for it is the means to finally change this world ...

do we really want change ...

look within ... what is it we really fear ...

:wub2:

[Sarahmay]

we ARE what we create ... we CREATE what we are ...

we can finally come to see this ... or not ...

take responsibility ... or not ...

we can break free of the old ... or not ...

create the new ... or not ...

and if we do ... we live the new ...

and if we don't ... we won't ...

pretty simple equation ... why do we complicate it so ...

because we fear ...

who do we fear ... do we really fear the doers of evil ...

or ...

do we fear who we really are ...

do we fear the knowing of our own power ...

do we intuitively fear it for it is the means to finally change this world ...

do we really want change ...

look within ... what is it we really fear ...

:wub2:



Oh, this is all so true. THEY don't want us to know how powerful we are!

[Seashore]

Oh, this is all so true. THEY don't want us to know how powerful we are!

Yeah, and we need to accept responsibility! :original:

[futureyes]

Yeah, and we need to accept responsibility! :original:

not next week ... not tomorrow ...

today ...

let's do it today ...

the time is now ...

no procrastinating ... no "to do" lists ...

today's the day ...

:wub2:

[Seashore]

not next week ... not tomorrow ...

today ...

let's do it today ...

the time is now ...

no procrastinating ... no "to do" lists ...

today's the day ...

:wub2:



You're inspiring me!!:mfr_omg:

[Anchor]

Yeah, and we need to accept responsibility! :original:

Yes!

Victim mentality is essentially irresponsible. It also suggests a predisposition to the notion that one will be rescued or looked after. (Not gonna happen!)

We have to clean up our own mess, even if we were tricked or misled into the actions which got us here.
A..

[Seashore]

We have to clean up our own mess, even if we were tricked or misled into the actions which got us here.
A..

Exactly. And we will reap the benefits! :thumb_yello:

[alyscat]

FWIW, IMHO, there are 2 things working here. You can say you create your reality (and I believe we do) - But still things "happen" - so does that mean you haven't created them? Can't be sure, but the one thing I know for sure is that we are in total charge of our reactions to them - Oh, you might have a moment of annoyance or a moment of helplessness, but on the whole, you have choices to make about how you are going to react, or even perceive a situation.

An example, I have a solar guy, recommended by my builder. I LOVE my builder. The solar guy seems disorganized, (I mean, I had to provide the compass on his first visit - how disorganized is that?). Not only that, but certain situations look like he's overcharging me - he doesn't really know how to quote an install - I have some choices - I can look it as disorganization, or I can look at it as a deliberate attempt to scr*w me. One of those "judgments" leaves me feeling a whole lot better than the other. If I think I"m easily scr*wed, everyone does it, I'm a victim. If I think, he's disorganized and it's up to me to stay on top of it, then I'm not.

Perception is everything - including our self-perception.
Alys

[TraineeHuman]

It's interesting how quickly a small kitten can unlearn feeling very powerless. If you take a very shy small kitten and keep putting your little finger next to it then pulling the finger away quickly as if in panic, in a few minutes the kitten will transform into a tiger. Watch out for your legs, because it'll then be chasing anything that moves that's under, say, 50 times bigger than itself, and remotely within range. And it'll still expect to be victorious over you.

It's equally interesting that as adult humans we have trouble quickly unlearning some of our victim beliefs. Of course, we've worked very hard -- often since childhood or adolescence -- to con ourselves into those beliefs. That's how powerful we've been. Often there was major "pressure" from parents or society to create them, of course. But I guess the most far-out power trip of all can be to have used your power against yourself, in a "self-castrating" way.

I'm not sure it's possible to begin to get rid of some of these victim beliefs until one has precisely identified them. That's not so easy, because our defense mechanisms run on automatic and work independently to try and discourage us from facing certain things about ourselves -- and our past influences.

[Humble Janitor]

I think we all know people who exemplify victim mentality.

The "poor me" person, who has health problems they blame on the doctor, work problems they blame on the boss, family problems they blame on the wife and kids. And they use this to emotionally manipulate the people around them. There is a huge payoff for these individuals--they DON'T have to take responsibility for the **** they have created in their life.

It is easy to go up the line and blame the Illluminati, NWO, US gov't, organized religion, corporations, the banking industry....for everything that is wrong in this world and our own microcosm. How convenient to put it all onto THEM!

The truth is that we give away our own power when we believe that others control our circumstances. We are constantly putting out energy and getting back equivalent energy--so if we put out negative energy, guess what happens? I see this so clearly in my life, having beautiful synchronistic events present themselves to me when I am open to accepting them. It is hard sometimes to watch others struggle when they are clearly sabotaging themselves.

Spot-on here. I unfortunately know people who are living, breathing examples of the victim mentality. They can't seem to deal with the fact that they dislike someone, yet they continue to seek out the company of that person. It's confusing, awkward and I have found that the best way to do with it is to keep that friend at arm's length and avoid discussing others with her. I want to help her but she has to help herself and start using a more positive mindset about her life.

[rhythm]

You're inspiring me!!:mfr_omg:

Future Eyes :thumb_yello:

yes she is an inspiration !!!

i like this thread

lots .....

thank you ....:thumb_yello:

[avyaktam]

Future Eyes :thumb_yello:

yes she is an inspiration !!!

i like this thread

lots .....

thank you ....:thumb_yello:

Second that. The spirituality threads are buzzing.

[Seashore]

...Oh, you might have a moment of annoyance or a moment of helplessness, but on the whole, you have choices to make about how you are going to react, or even perceive a situation...


:thumb_yello:

[rhythm]

second that. The spirituality threads are buzzing.


yes you are right

buzzing !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Christo888]

If you haven't read it yet, check out "Handbook for the New Paradigm" which is available various places on the net including the Avalon Ark Library here (http://www.projectavalon.net/joomla/index.php?option=com_docman&task=cat_view&gid=521&Itemid=28). It discusses at length the issue of victim mentality and how to overcome it.

For starters, STOP focusing on those who you believe to be in control. You give them power by focusing on them. STOP focusing on doomsday scenarios. You make them more likely by focusing on them. STOP following anyone and START thinking for yourself. Focus on the future you want, a future that we can all be proud of, that is for the best and highest good of all. START making it happen, in whatever ways present themselves to you. Make it your personal responsibility.

You can only be controlled if you continue to forget what you are - an amazingly powerful sovereign being.

Selfishness is also an important part of the victim mentality. Becoming unselfish, focusing more on the needs of others and doing something about it, is a good way to start.

Yes!

Victim mentality is essentially irresponsible. It also suggests a predisposition to the notion that one will be rescued or looked after. (Not gonna happen!)

We have to clean up our own mess, even if we were tricked or misled into the actions which got us here.
A..


:thumb_yello:

A victim is someone who is waiting for someone, something, or some event to rescue them.

A lot to work on but the sooner the better.

[futureyes]

:thumb_yello:

A victim is someone who is waiting for someone, something, or some event to rescue them.

A lot to work on but the sooner the better.

spot on christo ...

would it be beneficial for us to continue adding fresh coffee every morning into our cups which are still full of the previous day's coffee?

of course not ... no matter how much fresh coffee we add there'll always remain the old stuff ... practice this for a while and some of that coffee gets really really thick and gross ...

we wouldn't do that ... we'd clean our cup in the a.m. and pour all new fresh stuff to begin our day ...

if we were the coffee we drink ... why would we insist on not cleaning ourselves up of the old within us ... how can we expect to entertain the new when the old remains ... thicker and denser does it become over time ... blocks and leaves little room for anything fresh and appetizing ...

sooo ... let's clean out the old paradigm within us once and for all ... let's make room and fill our selves with all that is new ... the sooner the better is most beneficial at this juncture ...

filling our selves with new coffee here and there are great glimpses of what can be ... but we can't keep layering them ... we need to clean out the old stuff ... start anew ...

we must stop waiting for someone else to clean our cups out ...

fresh coffee anyone? :cup:

:wub2:

i'm laughing ... never thought i could corelate coffee into this ... it just sort of flowed ... :naughty:

[rhythm]

spot on christo ...

would it be beneficial for us to continue adding fresh coffee every morning into our cups which are still full of the previous day's coffee?

of course not ... no matter how much fresh coffee we add there'll always remain the old stuff ... practice this for a while and some of that coffee gets really really thick and gross ...

we wouldn't do that ... we'd clean our cup in the a.m. and pour all new fresh stuff to begin our day ...

if we were the coffee we drink ... why would we insist on not cleaning ourselves up of the old within us ... how can we expect to entertain the new when the old remains ... thicker and denser does it become over time ... blocks and leaves little room for anything fresh and appetizing ...

sooo ... let's clean out the old paradigm within us once and for all ... let's make room and fill our selves with all that is new ... the sooner the better is most beneficial at this juncture ...

filling our selves with new coffee here and there are great glimpses of what can be ... but we can't keep layering them ... we need to clean out the old stuff ... start anew ...

we must stop waiting for someone else to clean our cups out ...

fresh coffee anyone? :cup:

:wub2:

i'm laughing ... never thought i could corelate coffee into this ... it just sort of flowed ... :naughty:





Brilliant girl :cup::cup::cup:

[Seashore]

I haven't read any of these books. But I think it's fun and informative to browse using Amazon's LOOK INSIDE! feature. I just typed "victim mentality" in the search box, and here's what came up. For people who like to read, and are looking for a way to get started...

Amazon.com - "victim mentality" ( http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=victim+mentality&x=0&y=0)

[Christo888]

spot on christo ...

would it be beneficial for us to continue adding fresh coffee every morning into our cups which are still full of the previous day's coffee?

of course not ... no matter how much fresh coffee we add there'll always remain the old stuff ... practice this for a while and some of that coffee gets really really thick and gross ...

we wouldn't do that ... we'd clean our cup in the a.m. and pour all new fresh stuff to begin our day ...

if we were the coffee we drink ... why would we insist on not cleaning ourselves up of the old within us ... how can we expect to entertain the new when the old remains ... thicker and denser does it become over time ... blocks and leaves little room for anything fresh and appetizing ...

sooo ... let's clean out the old paradigm within us once and for all ... let's make room and fill our selves with all that is new ... the sooner the better is most beneficial at this juncture ...

filling our selves with new coffee here and there are great glimpses of what can be ... but we can't keep layering them ... we need to clean out the old stuff ... start anew ...

we must stop waiting for someone else to clean our cups out ...

fresh coffee anyone? :cup:

:wub2:

i'm laughing ... never thought i could corelate coffee into this ... it just sort of flowed ... :naughty:






Perked me right up!:lol3:

[Seashore]

Can members who are experienced at meditation share their thoughts on how meditation helps overcome victim mentality?

[recallone]

In The Celestine Prophecy (by James Redfield), various control dramas are explained. This is one of many roles that are adopted in an attempt to acquire energy from others. Granted, the very idea of energy to be found outside of oneself is the problem to begin with. This is perpetuated by our mythological religions endorsing the idea of a God outside of ourselves. No such thing.
A greater understanding of our divinity and connection to all that is helps to dispel this and many other errant energy-seeking-roles. As Krishnamurti says over and over again, the very act of seeking implies a lack, a state of confusion that can only bring more of the same.

Victim mentality? A side effect of the system that seeks to control through lies.
It's false and therefore creates unwanted (and unnecessary!) issues, not the least of which is a manufactured sickness, condition, whatever - that is the epitome of separation/division.

[Seashore]

I am reading the book Will & Spirit by Gerald G. May, M.D.

I just read a passage about emotional freedom. It is an anecdote that people may be able to relate to as it might apply to overcoming victim mentality. It's from pages 186 - 187 of the book:

"I had been practicing one form of meditation or another for about two years. Usually I used the meditation to help me relax. It had no special spiritual significance for me at the time; it was just an expedient way of collecting myself to handle the stresses of daily life. One morning I was feeling very depressed and angry. Something had gone on between my husband and me; I don't remember the exact conflict now, but it had me feeling very down and very agitated. I had a lot of trouble relaxing and "centering down" for my meditation that morning, but after about fifteen minutes I felt myself really going deep. The agitation had stopped--just through relaxing, I guess--and my mind seemed very open and calm.

I kept feeling as if I--or my consciousness--was sinking into deeper and deeper levels of my mind. There was no specific content to the experience, no real thoughts or feelings. Just very deep relaxation. Then at some point I remember noticing the depression and frustration start up again. It seemed as if they came from a place in me which was only slightly deeper than where my awareness was. I didn't feel badly about those feelings starting. I was sort of dispassionate about them...just noticing what they were.

Then for a few minutes I sort of "went into" the feelings. And it seemed as if there were layers of them, the depression and agitation first, and the anger right beneath that. And then below that there was a mixture of fear and self-doubt. Finally, below that, there was a longing and a loving so immense that it almost terrified me. I backed off a bit, and found myself in the old depression-anger state again.

While I was sitting there just feeling and watching my state of mind a simple thought came, something like "I don't have to feel this way if I don't want to." And with that the depression and anger suddenly changed to light and joy. It was as if an inner face had suddenly stopped frowning and started smiling. I became fascinated with the change, and found that with just the slightest inclination of attitude I could create any feeling I wanted. For a time, then, I was just experimenting with feeling all kinds of different ways--silly, sad, bored, erotic, fearful, angry, vengeful, loving, sweet, despairing, all the different nuances of emotion you could imagine.

Behind it all there was another rising feeling. This was different from the rest, because it wasn't so "up-front." The only way I can describe it is that it was a kind of joyful confidence and deep relief. I remember thinking again, "I can feel any way I want." As time went on I think I became rather entranced by my own power to control my feelings and with that the space and freedom disappeared. I was left unable to influence the feelings. But this was not really disappointing because I was also left with the notion that it doesn't really matter how I feel. I can still identify that wonderful freedom of not having to run my life on the basis of how I feel at any given moment.

That experience happened over a year ago, and I've never been able to recapture or duplicate it. But I still have some of the confidence it gave me. Never again will I think it's the end of the world just because I feel terribly afraid or despairing. At some level I know now that feelings are...just feelings."

[Seashore]

From hodu.com (http://www.hodu.com/victim.shtml)


http://www.hodu.com/hodu.jpeg


Eliminating Our Own Victim Mentality

Can you imagine what a difference it would make to our self-esteem, creative productivity, and overall happiness if we were free of a victim mind-set? We're often simply unaware of the power that's in our hands...

by Sharon Ellison


For all of us: Victim mind-set erases choice

First I want to make a clear distinction between being treated as a victim and having a victim mentality.
It’s not like the old horse and carriage, we can have one without the other. For abusers actually to feel victimized by the people they are hurting emotionally or even physically is a classic scenario. On the other hand, we may be genuinely victimized by someone and still not think or respond like a victim.

Refusing to think like a victim: Sojourner Truth, an African American woman who escaped slavery and was a strong abolition activist, attended the National Women's Suffrage Convention in Akron, Ohio, where she delivered her powerful "Ain't I a Woman?" speech.

Only women were allowed to speak and she was such a powerful speaker that an effort was made by opponents of the movement to discredit her by humiliating her. She was ordered to go to the women's room and bare her breast to prove that she was a woman.

Sojourner Truth was offered a choice between not speaking and being humiliated. But she refused to stay in the confines of that "no-win" choice. She refused to think like a victim. She chose to speak — and as she went to the women’s room to "prove" she was a woman, she said with power and grace, "It is to your shame, not mine, that I do this."

The problem: We slip easily into victim mentality when we we try to get exactly what we want in less than ideal circumstances and when we can't, we allow ourselves to be trapped in no-win choices. Often, we aren't even willing to consider any choice other than the ideal choice. When we are in victim mentality, we don’t see the range of choices we have and we wallow in resentment. We feel helpless.

The solution: In order to eliminate our victim mentality, we must:

1. Start by accepting the reality of the situation instead of trying to achieve the ideal.
2. Find the best choice available within the reality of the circumstances, and then
3. Accept that choice instead of resenting it.

Below are examples that show how to do that in various circumstances/relationships:

For friends: You're late, I wait!

Victim mind-set: If I want to see my friend for tea or coffee, and she is chronically late, I may feel victimized by the choice between having to wait or not getting to see her. I wait and then feel disconnected and irritated.

Empowered mind-set: If I don’t want to be a victim I have many choices. I can accept that my friend is always late and chose to:

1. Be late too.
2. Take a good book and have a 15 minutes of quiet time.
3. Meet at a place near where I have other errands and let her know that I’ll wait ten minutes (or whatever suits me) and if she’s not there, I’ll leave.
4. Meet her at my house so I can keep doing whatever I want till she gets there, and if she doesn’t arrive before my next appointment, she won’t get to see me.

Holiday dinner variation: They're late, we wait

Victim mind-set: How many of you out there plan a holiday meal and have certain relatives or friends who are always late. You hold up dinner, the food gets dry, held in the oven on warm, or cold on the counter.

You and the rest of the family and guests sit around pretending that you are having fun instead of waiting, or openly complain or arguing about whether you should wait a few more minutes or go ahead and eat. Here we have a whole room full of people in feeling helpless and frustrated.

Empowered mind-set: You let the late-arrivers know ahead of time, "We’re gathering at 2:00 and we’ll eat at 3:00. If you get there late, just come on in and join the meal."

Now, everyone can have fun, eat, and not be so angry when the others do arrive. (Just make sure you don’t assign them to bring the turkey, pasta, ham, or whatever your main dish is!) This sounds so simple. What stops us from doing it?...

For professionals: Do as I tell you -even if it causes problems!

Victim mind-set: A new manager, William, was hired in Mario’s department. Mario, also in a managerial position, was asked by William to implement a series of changes. Mario tried to explain to William that three of these changes involved procedures that had been tried before but caused some serious problems. William seemed to take Mario’s comments as a challenge to his authority, and dismissed them.

Mario was frustrated, complained to others, and rather sullenly said he would do as asked. He was worried that in his own managerial role he would be held accountable for the problems he knew would develop. He was afraid to complain to his new boss’s supervisor for fear of looking like sour grapes.

Empowered mind-set: Mario, in this case, got some advice and decided to write an email to William to clarify his position. It said:

Statement:"I want to be clear and respectful in telling you the specific problems we had when we previously used the following three procedures you have asked me to implement over the next few months. I am concerned about the impact on the company, and about my own responsibility as a manager, given that I will be directing my staff to put a process into effect that I know is going to cause problems. Since you are my manager, I feel it is my duty to officially report these issues to you."

Possible predictions: "If you want to talk to me about other options, I’d be glad to do so. If you still want me to implement these procedures, I will do so as efficiently as I can."

" If you still want me to implement these procedures, I want to have it on record that I reported these problems so I am not held accountable for any resulting problems."

"If you feel determined to implement these procedures, I’d like to ask that we meet together with your supervisor to discuss it first, so she is aware of the problems we had previously."


Sharon's closing thoughts

The world is not an ideal place. When we look for ideal choices and ideal solutions, we find we have fewer and fewer "choices." We think like victims, which usually involves feeling both helpless and angry.

If we know that we are making choices in situations that are not ideal and we accept that, then we will suddenly see countless choices previously invisible to us. We will feel greater freedom and take more responsibility for the choices we do make...

[Seashore]

Regarding the Illuminati, said to be of a Reptilian mind-pattern, Swerdlow says this in Blue Blood, True Blood:

"Each person on Earth must gain control of his/her own minds to find out who and what they truly are within God-Mind. Then, if they teach others to do the same, eventually this will extrapolate to a critical mass that will spill over to the rest of the population. Then there will be no need or possibility for any victim-mentality to exist, and no oppressor will be attracted. Mankind will then be free. This new mind-pattern of the species can even be taught to the Reptilians, and any other race or type of beings. God-Mind allows all. In God-Mind, this solution has already occurred! Everyone must now become aware of it."

:cup:

[Steven]

Hello Seashore. I have not read your post when it first came out. I was away for several months. But I would like to add my ideas about victim consciousness. Here is what I wrote in another thread.

Victim Consciousness;

The victim consciousness is the kind of consciousness we are transcending to enter into a personal responsibility consciousness. It is the global consciousness Humanity has shown since many years and it is changing at this moment. It is a consciousness who is driven to react, focus and feed conflicts. It justify itself by making a point, or being right among the wrongs. It glorify itself and push others down because of low self esteem. It appears as savior, but after a while we see the savior beginning to oppress. The victim calls for the oppressor and the savior. The oppressor calls for the victim and the savior, the savior calls for the oppressor and the victim. They exist because of the others. It is a relationship of victimhood. This type of consciousness cares only about itself. Others are useful as long as they fulfill their distinctive complementary role with the subject. A savior will care about you if you are a victim, but if you are a savior too, conflict might occur. It is the same when two victims or two oppressors meet. Always remember that the same individual can switch from any role, savior-victim-oppressor, according to the situation. We can also switch from personal responsibility consciousness to victim consciousness many times in the same day. It is not static, its dynamic.

The victim consciousness is made of three major components. Victim-Oppressor-Savior. They all call each other into play because of the Universal Laws. At the base of this type of consciousness there is irresponsibility. Be it victim, savior or oppressor, everyone puts the blame on someone else, and tries not to be involved into responsibility when it is about to determine the source of the problem. We like to be seen as the source of the solution, but never the source of the problem. This is the major reason why we will not be saved by higher consciousness beings. It is a trap to ask to be saved. Religion pushes forward this mentality and it does no good at all. The prophets of any religion are not saviors, Jesus is not a savior. If you see them as savior, you ask for them to get caught into the victim consciousness trap and because of the Universal Laws, risking to get trapped into this consciousness for a period of time. Imagine for a moment if Jesus would come back in all his glory to hunt the Elite of the World and throw them into the eternal fire like it is believe by millions of humans on Earth. Imagine what happens next according to the Universal Laws... Imagine the terrible sacrifice we are asking to this being we called Jesus. It will never happen this way...

To this I would add that when one is aware of the Universal Laws at work in Life, this person begin to care about all that emanates from him/her. Words, thoughts, feelings, attitude become totally important and do matter a lot about the future of this person and its surrounding, its collectivity. It does indeed shapes reality. So this person progressively begin to leave the old victim consciousness pattern the system indoctrinates us into and begin to realize the impact she/he has around. She/he begins to care... She/he begins to be responsible, so this person switch to a personal responsibility consciousness because of the awareness she/he has of how the Universal Laws of consciousness works. Resulting in a much better control over his/her life and future.

Namaste, Steven

[Ravens and Doves]

It's seems to be the "mentality" in Victim Mentality that gets people huffing and puffing. We should use our best discernment when in the company of misery. There's a big difference between a person who makes a career out of crying and a person just lost their home and family in an earthquake, fire or tsunami.

I thought people who got cancer did so because they did something not as healthy as those who didn't have it.... like there was something wrong with them.

Then I got it. I don't see myself as a victim, but I learned a hard lesson about what it's like to walk in another's shoes. I went through treatment at a time I was around a lot of very rich, arrogant people (through a marraige) and got my *** kicked for not being perfect.

Here's a video that was shot, in some parts, near my old apartment.

YouTube - Martika - Toy Soldiers

Paul

[Seashore]

She/he begins to care... She/he begins to be responsible, so this person switch to a personal responsibility consciousness ...

...I learned a hard lesson about what it's like to walk in another's shoes.

Thank you both!

[Seashore]

A 26 Oct 2009 interview of Freeman addresses the issue of humanity and victim mentality:

http://thefreemanperspective.blogspot.com/

[Seashore]

I just learned this term about a year ago, but now it seems paramount in importance to me, because I think Stewart Swerdlow is right when he says that's what our (the human race) problem is, and that's what we have to overcome if we're going to succeed in healing our troubled world...



I have purchased Stewart's 3 Part DVD set (http://www.expansions.com/Details.cfm?ProdID=98&category=0) Hyperspace & Oversoul Basics. Maybe this is free on the web; I don't know.

Near the end of Part 3 is a section on the exercise "The Child Within." I think Stewart is on to something with this exercise! I think this topic applies to this thread because we get "stuck in childhood," but if we can begin to work on issues which began back then, :mfr_omg: how we can grow, and overcome, and who knows where it will lead? :original:

[Seashore]

I am impressed with this term.

What is it? Is it the underlying belief that people have that they're practically powerless to control what happens to them? That's my attempt to define it...

I just learned this term about a year ago, but now it seems paramount in importance to me, because I think Stewart Swerdlow is right when he says that's what our (the human race) problem is, and that's what we have to overcome if we're going to succeed in healing our troubled world...

So, I would like to ask members to share their ideas about how to overcome victim mentality.

I am bringing up this post for members who may have missed this thread the first time around.

Any comments on overcoming victim mentality so we can heal ourselves/our troubled world? :original:

[ranma187]

the victim mentality. "it's not my fault THEY did it to me."

The trap this creates is a person who will never take responsibility for all the **** that happens to them. It is the exact opposite of ascension. It is a prison.

[Seashore]

It is a prison.

This makes it crystal clear.

Thank you.