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metaw3
03-03-2010, 02:38 AM
Excerpt from "Ultimate Journey" by Robert Monroe, 1994

(The author is guided in his travels out of the body by an entity he calls INSPEC whose comments are in italics.)



Chapter 4, Hail and Farewell

[...]

Then a new question came immediately to mind, which had much to do with my own physical experience in the Here. I asked the INSPEC if I could be shown one nonphysical, nonhuman intelligence which I could talk with easily. Somewhat to my surprise, my friend offered to lead me to one and we set off through the darkness. In what seemed only a moment we flashed into a space filled with stars. Just below us was what I recognized as our moon and in the near distance was the huge blue and white marbelized globe, the Earth.

I looked around. Where was this super-nonhuman intelligence? Reading the question, the INSPEC told me to look behind and above.

I was astonished. Just twenty feet above me and stretching for what seemed to be miles was a huge, circular, saucershaped object, a typical "flying saucer" as so often described, but a thousand times larger. Much too big to credit — but as I had that thought, it shrank instantly to some two hundred feet in diameter.

Then a door in the bottom slid open and a figure... a man... a very human-looking man, emerged and walked — yes, walked, across to where I floated. As he approached, I recognized him. Short, round, and chubby, dressed with a sort of shabby gentility and wearing a gray top hat, his nose red and bulbous, his mouth a leering grin, he was an exact replica of the star of so many comic movies I had enjoyed in the physical when I was young — W. C. Fields!

This replica, projection, hologram — whatever it was — spoke like Fields as well, with the same intonations and repetitions. He invited me aboard, and showed me into what appeared as a large, domed room with pictures on its walls of every comedian I had ever heard of, and many more of whom I hadn't, together with thousands of scribbled jokes and cartoons. He described all this as his cargo.

I framed the question in my mind.

"Cargo? What do you mean, cargo? And," I continued, "you can drop the impersonation. I can take you exactly as you are."

"You really mean it, don't you... But I'll keep it if you don't mind. It helps me to think like a human. Or would you prefer someone else? Groucho Marx, perhaps?"

"No, no. Stay as you are. Tell me, what are you doing, hanging around Earth?"

"My boy, I'm an exporter."

"I see. What do you have that we need — apart from this spaceship?"

"I must have used the term wrong. I export from here, not to, my friend."

"What possible thing could we have that is valuable to you? You're obviously way ahead of our technology. You use thought communication. We have nothing you could want or need."

He scratched his nose. "Well, sir, it's not easy to get it, but I do, yes sir, I do. We don't have any, and you can't imagine how valuable something is if you don't have any."

"Don't have any what?"

"I've been gathering it for ages. It used to be very rare, but there's more of it about now."

"You've lost me."

"Sometimes you need to know the civilization to understand it, that's one of the problems."

"I still don't see..."

"You humans have it, and it's very rare and valuable among the rest of the intelligent species in what you call the physical universe — and elsewhere. Very rare and valuable, sir. I'm a specialist in collection. You don't understand, I see! Let me explain."

"Please do."

"It's a one-in-a-million product and you humans have it. A sense of humor! Jokes! Fun! The best tonic there is for overloaded mind systems. It auto-erases the tension and pressure almost every time it's used!"

"So... you cruise around among us looking for the newest and latest... ?"

"Exactly! You humans catch sight of our collection units every now and then and get the wrong idea. You even make UFO jokes about us! All we want to do is look and listen — nothing else. Apart from the odd practical joke — just to keep in training. And now, if you'll excuse me, sir, I must be on my way."

Suddenly I found myself outside the spaceship, which was rapidly diminishing into the far distance. I homed in on my INSPEC friend, who was waiting for me in the deep darkness. Now I knew that at least humans have one unique quality.

You managed that well. But there is another matter that occupies your mind. You have a hidden desire that you are trying to express.

Yes... there is one that I would like to visit. You know what I mean.

The most mature and evolved human in physical earth, living in your time reference.

That is so. Can it be done?

Yes, but the result may not be what you expect.

I wish to try, all the same.

I shall lead you.

[...]


Today I was reading the great thread "Do ufo's have toilets" here:
http://projectavalon.net/forum/showthread.php?t=20545
and it reminded me of the passage I quoted above.

It just shows how important is our sense of humor. Humor, whether it's adolescent humour, sarcasm or any other humor, will be at the forefront of any New Paradigm for humanity because it's one of our best products!

Jnana
03-03-2010, 01:49 PM
I love it. I've wondered about this very thing because of some of my own interactions with ETs. I never quite know if they will take something we find humorous as offensive.

I'm sorry to see that the other thread you referenced has been closed. I don't think that was necessary. I hope the mods will reconsider. A bit of humor is needed here right now.

Halcyon
03-03-2010, 02:07 PM
I agree. I found myself chuckling out loud last night after reading some of the replies to this thread "What would you ask God". If you take things too serious all the time then you just DON'T GET IT. No words should offend anyone - they are just that "words".

rhythm
03-03-2010, 03:00 PM
absolutley essential



if you want a real

good laugh :roll1::roll1:

watch out for

[B][I]rhythmms spelling :lol3::tongue2::lol3:

Kulapops
03-03-2010, 04:15 PM
I'm sorry but having visited cakewrecks.com... the tears are just rolling down my face.. I don't think I've laughed so hard in ages.

A helpless, gurgling puddle of pure joy. I don't know why I found it sooo funny, but it just gets me. Each scroll down would produce another howl.. the frogs on the home page... and the balloons with 20010 on... I mean...

life.. does... not ... get any better than this....

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/search/label/Creative%20Grammar

thank you for making my whole year worthwhile so far...

K x

oops... meant to post this on the "laugh..." thread... but it's probably not out of place here.. I wonder if aliens would see the funny side....

http://<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/3SAbJjktk7E&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/3SAbJjktk7E&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Harper
03-03-2010, 05:59 PM
Too valuable to lose ..............I'm embarrassed by the latest show of displeasure.

the arrogance

Harper
03-03-2010, 10:43 PM
Bumping


Because a sense of humour is the only thing that most of us will have when we cease to take all of this personally.

We are going to have to understand that that is the the humanity we may have to tune into to in order to be able to watch what is going on. To show up in front of our real faces. I have mentioned this before, but if we cant observe and be aware of the things we are being DRAWN into then we will be continuously be DRAWN into other peoples story lines.

There is nothing, and I mean nothing, that is asked of you in this world, but to be kind.

Stop the banning, its either really wrong or on purpose, either way is it what you want?

Harper
03-03-2010, 10:57 PM
bump

Kind, nothing else

Harper
03-03-2010, 11:11 PM
Bump

Kulapops
03-03-2010, 11:25 PM
Mr Bump ! :original: One of my favourite Mr Men Characters...

What are we talking here , Harper ?

I'm all for humour... but I don't quite understand your point here. Can you elaborate please ?

K

Harper
03-03-2010, 11:39 PM
Hello,

Im speaking of the banning of dondon, who asked if there were toilets on space ships and what would you say to god?


WHY?

Harper
03-03-2010, 11:44 PM
bump

Harper
03-04-2010, 12:03 AM
bump

feardia
03-04-2010, 12:12 AM
Humour is what comes out of humans, I love laughing with my fellow humans. We are amazing the way we can go from deep depression to raucous laughter in a couple of seconds, it is what we are all about. Our emotions are our greatest resource, we just have to learn how to manage them.
One love...

Kulapops
03-04-2010, 12:28 AM
Hello,

Im speaking of the banning of dondon, who asked if there were toilets on space ships and what would you say to god?


WHY?

Ok.. yes I see where you're coming from now.

feardia
03-04-2010, 12:46 AM
Hello,

Im speaking of the banning of dondon, who asked if there were toilets on space ships and what would you say to god?


WHY?

Well, I had a problem on t3j's thread about how the numbers of aliens orbiting the planet stayed the same over a weekend despite the fact that there was 314,159,265 of them, you would have thought at least one of them would have got drunk and been sucked out the toilet duct. btw i never got an answer.

i don't think you should be banned for starting nonsense threads, but it is a silly thing to do if you have just joined the forum, why not just let them wither on the vine, there are plenty of nonsense threads that have flourished on avalon too, while good ones have been choked.

Harper
03-04-2010, 01:05 AM
so be it feardia,

Lets just see, instead of the precrime aspect of the whole thing.

Terribly disenfranchised at the moment, but maybe since thats the word I chose, its not a bad thing.

Take care, slainte mo chroi

g

feardia
03-04-2010, 01:17 AM
so be it feardia,

Lets just see, instead of the precrime aspect of the whole thing.

Terribly disenfranchised at the moment, but maybe since thats the word I chose, its not a bad thing.

Take care, slainte mo chroi

g
We were born to be disenfranchised, we are gaels, but we should always stand against injustice,
one love...

Harper
03-04-2010, 01:19 AM
cushla mo chroi

one love, the morning hastens and I must chase sleep

gearodin

Tango
03-04-2010, 01:25 AM
Doin' the Bump... Hold On...

6iRbnZl1-Cs


Just helpn' out with the Bump... Or, did You mean the Dance...



Trooly,



Tango


.

Harper
03-04-2010, 01:32 AM
bump... on my last legs

Tango
03-04-2010, 01:56 AM
The way the Bump is suppose to be done buddy... LOL

LaCn0P-G2lQ



Come On Harper... It's the Bump


Trooly,


Tango

Kulapops
03-04-2010, 02:00 AM
And I on mine ! Yet it's an hour later in Paris...

yeah.. I think we definitely should not outlaw humour at Avalon.. then I definitely WILL be outta here :original:

well, there'll be nothing left for me to do for a start.

But I agree with feardia. Perhaps dondon meant well, but there was a lot of posting in a short while, and maybe someone got the wrong end of the stick.

there are lots of threads about banned members.. you don't have to search too far. I would just say we can't do much about what happened, only about what happens...

I don't get that exact number of aliens either. can you get like, an alien counter to sit next to the GPS? Now I feel sheepish because I felt the Thuban thread tickled me too, and it's been the source/catalyst for a whole heartache. A shame that something can make someone laugh can make some one angry about that laughing. I hope we all can laugh at ourselves more as our consciousness expands...cos if it goes the other way, we're all in for a lot of Eastenders moments...

So I'm not about to take myself too seriously.. not now... not later.

I hope I'm on the right track...

K

Fredkc
03-04-2010, 03:26 AM
My sense of humore is precious to me.

Sadly it hasn't turned me a dime, yet.

http://fredsitelive.com/images/post/bump2.jpg

metaw3
03-04-2010, 06:17 AM
Thank you everyone for the funny bumps.

No words should offend anyone - they are just that "words".

Important point. If you make a joke about UFOs, your theme is aligned with this forum, and your style is your own business.

Same thing with the Thuban material. I don't know if this style even has a name, but it's using the right words to be on topic.

If it had been a joke about marriage, then it's off topic unless the member has an history here like feardia said. Then it's just an exception for that member and it's fine.

If the Thuban material was written using a terminology borrowed from Harry Potter, then it would be off topic.

Isn't that enough to be on topic? So what if I'm funny or confusedly poetic?

I had no problem with the Thuban material being criticized because I don't care for that style. But I actually love jokes so it made very uncomfortable when I saw a joke on topic being terminated. How can I feel free to express myself when I see a joke I could have made, because it's my style, causing someone to be banned? I actually wondered about giving up on this forum, but decided to start this thread instead. I was not going to bump it. Just to know it is there was enough. My point was made. Have I got in trouble later on for a joke, I would have bump this thread to defend myself. Now that Harper seems determined to bump it all the way, we'll see what happens.

Humor is integral to my happiness, and I don't care if someone hits me hard with sarcasm. Be my guest. I love that. It's just words as Halcyon said. I can take it even if the joke is on me. Laughing with others about yourself means you really learned what it means to be in the observer mode.

My favorite comedians are Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David. They both could have made the joke about UFOs having no toilets. Would we ban them if they ever come to this forum and make jokes as their first threads? That is something to ponder

Harper
03-04-2010, 10:21 AM
So I'm barely up an at em so to speak and my day has gone pretty much south already, however my principles are looking skyward and to the north !

Thank you all so much for the bumps and the wisdom you are marvellous. As someone liable to take the total michael if the opportunity arises, I think its so important to take ourselves lightly. And I did add my charge to the thuban fiascio but I tried on purpose to be funny to lighten the whole thing up and imagine people in my head smiling instead of rapping on their keyboard in anger. so I take my part of the responsibility

But back to downright baiting !! hehehehe, you can't start a thread about what to do with a negative nordic and not expect a smart answer. Everyday i wiggle my fingers over that thread and then I say no, don't do it! Step away from the computer....hehehehe

If people are afraid to be funny and be themselves then all is lost really. Yer man dondon could be any kind of lunatic, but that won't make him stand out too much at avalon, he isn't the first and won't be the last but this nanny society that seems to be building up steam here is a real shame.

Anyway off I trot to wiggle my fingers over that tempting thread again....:tongue2:

Oliver
03-04-2010, 10:52 AM
Humor is an essential light energy.
It`s source is Love.
I have never seen a negative person with a sense of humor.
And self irony, making jokes about ourselves, is an ultimate proof the person is strong, positive and valuable.
(Admiral Swanny is an intergalactic champion in that...even though the commanders of the GFL have problems with their mission to Earth because of his jokes)

Salute!

Kulapops
03-04-2010, 11:00 AM
hehehehe, you can't start a thread about what to do with a negative nordic and not expect a smart answer. Everyday i wiggle my fingers over that thread and then I say no, don't do it! Step away from the computer....hehehehe


I suffer from the same disease. Not that particular thread.. but I did post on one of the plethora of Thuban 'fora' about how the material makes me want to play.. because to me it's just playful juxtopositions that are screaming to be played with (or balanced if you like). Maybe that's my own imbalance. I can't have Trongoids from the planet Ding-dong walking around in my garden...so I realise I have to watch the line of making fun of anyone's beliefs. That's not my intention.
Anyway.. if anyone's feeling tense I suggest they go check out cakewrecks.com... then come back with a straight face.

Love is the most important thing of all to me. And I love you all.

And *plug* check out my thread 'Step away from the PC' BUMP !!!

K

Halcyon
03-04-2010, 11:19 AM
Hello,

Im speaking of the banning of dondon, who asked if there were toilets on space ships and what would you say to god?


WHY?


I completely agree Harper. Why are members getting banned for having a sense of humor. It's just not right. I'm quickly getting the impression that anyone with a dry sense of humor is being censored. I love humor that's dry. Bring it on - I want a laugh. :roftl:

Harper
03-04-2010, 12:25 PM
Ok I'm laughing out loud in work, I just can't hear something like trongoids from the planet ding dong without cracking up. I don't know how everyone isn't rolling in the aisles...the bongo thing a while back seriously took my breath away, I still giggle in public places when I even think about it.

Oh i can't tell you how much you have cheered me up, you will get a special badge in the universal scouts for that post alone.

Please continue to point out both the sublime and the ridiculous.

many giggles

hippihillbobbi
03-04-2010, 12:34 PM
Hey ya'll --

IMO "humor" is vitally important to our physical/mental/emotional (and probably even Spiritual) health, and a good sense of humor is one of the most precious and important gifts we can have! lots of scientific studies of the brain and psychological studies as well have "proven" how beneficial it is for us to LAUGH!!

anyone who can't understand this must be alien, imo ...... hey, btw, did ya'll hear the one about the alien and the lizard who walk into a bar, and .......
OOPS! better stop here ..... might be some undercover humor police lurking who could narc me out!! :mfr_omg:

Love & Laughs,
hippihillbobbi

Tango
03-04-2010, 01:57 PM
I heard it was a Gecko; Green Skin... Laughing... LOL

Oooh... NO.... The Reptiles.... Bwahahahahahah...

Or, were they the evil Live. The one's in China, from the 60's...LOL

In those suits...

Tango



Hey ya'll --

IMO "humor" is vitally important to our physical/mental/emotional (and probably even Spiritual) health, and a good sense of humor is one of the most precious and important gifts we can have! lots of scientific studies of the brain and psychological studies as well have "proven" how beneficial it is for us to LAUGH!!

anyone who can't understand this must be alien, imo ...... hey, btw, did ya'll hear the one about the alien and the lizard who walk into a bar, and .......
OOPS! better stop here ..... might be some undercover humor police lurking who could narc me out!! :mfr_omg:

Love & Laughs,
hippihillbobbi

Moxie
03-04-2010, 03:17 PM
Humor is Good Medicine.

...then I read above that DonDon was banned? dang!... can't find the humor in that!
I posted in the Questions to God because I perceived it to be a playful thread started by DonDon but then 'he' seriously answered the Q's... perception! what a mirror that is huh? (chuckles)

Moxie
03-04-2010, 03:17 PM
...

Jacqui D
03-04-2010, 04:00 PM
Humour is sooooooo! important we have to laugh if we didn't we would all just go crazy:insane:

Kulapops
03-04-2010, 04:46 PM
Ok I'm laughing out loud in work, ...the bongo thing a while back seriously took my breath away, I still giggle in public places when I even think about it.


many giggles

Gee thanks.. well , far be it for me to laugh at my own jokes.. but I do try and pride myself on finding a new name for alien races everytime I think about them :original:

there. That'll write me into a corner.

I'm smiling about the Bongo thing. Because I read it on some thread and I thought... 'hey! That's a name I thought of for 'em too...' It never occured to me, that the poster had read my piece. Was that you then Harper ?

I never assume anyone reads anything I write. :mfr_omg:

It's easier for me to write that way :original: and my ego is much happier that way...

but if someone, somewhere has laughed... then I'm happy for that. Because I believe the present is far more precious than the future.

Blame Eckhart Tolle for that.

K

Harper
03-04-2010, 05:01 PM
Yes that was me, miss bongo, I had my sister in tatters explaining the whole thing, she is a serious giggler and one of those fantastic faces when in inappropriate moments you can see it dawn on her, and its all over......That bongo statement came at the end of a week where it was just the straw that broke the camels back and I melted into laughter.

Kulapops
03-04-2010, 05:17 PM
Yes that was me, miss bongo, I had my sister in tatters explaining the whole thing, she is a serious giggler and one of those fantastic faces when in inappropriate moments you can see it dawn on her, and its all over......That bongo statement came at the end of a week where it was just the straw that broke the camels back and I melted into laughter.

Great.. going off topic here.. but how can humour be off-topic for Avalon?

With all those nasty things people say are going to happen to us for sure.. I think a bit of humour is the claret to wash it all down with.

Anyway.. had a great friend at uni, and we used to play this game over a period of years called nose bubbles... the idea is basically to say something to make the other laugh when they're not expecting it...and while drinking something. If you're lucky and you get the timing right.. the drink comes out their nose.

The great game about it is that usually the first funny thing only gets the laugh started.. you have to develop it a little with something else to really get the chuckle muscles going... three funny things one after another might well get the result you're after... but over a ten year period this was a rare event. Made it all the more fun when it did work though....

Purile behaviour maybe, but they were some of the best laughs I ever had...

Don't you just love that feeling when you can't move? can't breathe? You'd beg someone to stop ?! Boy that's living to me...

I'd rather spill a drink than spill my ration of freeze dried lentils.

K

Harper
03-04-2010, 05:34 PM
We have to talk lentils man, freeze dried? Pm me if you want the most decadent receipe a la francaise. they know lentils,......wine lardons, cream....with roast duck !! Ha I just realised there is a portion of my life that i'm not open to humour in and thats food. Do not like the 'hi, I'm knitting my own yogurt' types and 'would you like some seeds - there delicious.....'


Hehehehe so back to bongo in the same week I saw this sentence WRITTEN DOWN

'toast goes particularly well with dishwasher chicken' - from an article on lifehacker

And my non native english speaking colleague, shouted down the corridor after me that 'You have to take a real close look at your junk, it might be in there' so you can have a little context.

People who can't laugh and see the terrific cosmic joke we seem to be locked into, don't like it when other people can. So a quote to leave you with

"Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me." Robert Frost born in 1874, so not much seems to have changed ...eh?

Kulapops
03-04-2010, 05:48 PM
"Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me." Robert Frost born in 1874, so not much seems to have changed ...eh?

Wasn't he an alien ?

:zip:

Would love to talk cassoulet some time. 18 months in paris...I bet we've been to some of the same 'resto's ' .. but that probablymostdefinitely is off topic for avalon... so talk about that one in the chat room sometime...

Harper
03-04-2010, 05:54 PM
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sounds the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Oh yeah......light years no doubt !!! I hear ya hehehehe

Bye till tomorrow, off to act normal

Harper
03-06-2010, 02:26 AM
bump

cos one of the few threads left that me feel human, and you know thats what we are!

Love to all the humans out there
:original:

Harper
03-06-2010, 02:52 AM
bye metw#,

im not particularily religous but have always loved this Irish blessing

May the road rise to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
The sun shine warm upon your face
The rains fall soft upon your fields
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of his hand

See you again my friend, take it easy

g

Kulapops
03-06-2010, 02:58 PM
Yes that was me, miss bongo...

I just noticed something else that's funny.. Miss Bongo ?

If that's suggesting I'm a woman, I have to let you know I'm not..

But don't be blue, everyone round here thinks I'm a woman it seems.

Well, at least until they get to know me.

Promised myself I won't log on this weekend. Is Meta going somewhere?

I think anyway Harper, lots of people have their own threads that they regularly 'bump', so no reason why you shouldn't bump this one, why not make it your own blog? Put down whatever's on your mind.

Not for me to say I know, I only have sketchy idea what the rules are here, but I don't think you need to write 'bump' every time you post to this thread

:wink2:

So .. till the Trongoids of ding-dong do battle with the Swtraberries of Merringue....

I bid you adieu...

K

Harper
03-06-2010, 04:55 PM
Ha ha thats funny, I was referring to myself, so we have had the same experience, I think some people think I' a man!

yes metaw wasn't feeling it so much any more I think, but he might be peeping in. Its a pity and it isnt at the same time, I think the tail just might be wagging the dog at the moment and this is one way to get your ass kicked into opening our eyes. Oh mixed blessing cruel and funny, arent they. Look at the terrible mixed metaphor. The signs the signs are everywhere.

The anagram times had this today-- and how timely

"What's a Nice Girl Doing in This Hole?" = Ooh, is a big, ghastly, nightmarish "Alice in Wonderland"!

Thanks for the bump tip, its hadnt occured to me, how boring it might be :wink2:

less is more for the moment or was that shallow is the new deep, never remember hehehehehe

Harper
03-08-2010, 04:46 PM
The oldies are still sometimes the most giggle-tastic, because today, seriously I am tired of Dragons

In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

On the walls of a Baltimore estate:
Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
-- Sisters of Mercy

In front of a church:
Don't give up. Moses was once a basket case.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

On a long established New Mexico dry cleaning store:
Thirty-eight years on the same spot.

In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In a New York medical building:
Mental Health Prevention Center

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

On a New York convalescent home:
For the sick and tired of the Episcopal church

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

In a clothing store:
Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.

In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today -- no ice cream. --hands down all time absurd favourite

In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store:
15 men's wool suits - $100 - They won't last an hour!

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions. well maybe this one

In a New York restaurant:
Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

In the window of an Oregon general store:
Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?

In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In the grounds of a private school:
No trespassing without permission.

A sign advertising a Company wide skiing race:
Let's see who can go downhill the fastest

Spotted in a safari park:
Elephants, please stay in your car.

Outside a photographer's studio:
Out to lunch: if not back by five, out for dinner also.

Notice in health food shop window:
Closed due to illness.

On a plumber's truck:
We repair what your husband fixed.

On a maternity room door:
Push. Push. Push.

At an optometrist's office:
If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

On a fence:
Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!

Seen on a garbage truck:
Satisfaction guaranteed or double your trash back!

On a church door:
This is the gate of heaven. Enter ye all by this door.
(This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side door.)

Sign warning of quicksand:
Quicksand.
Any person passing this point will be drowned.
By order of the District Council.

In an office:
After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave", in Chinese.

Laugh and the world laughs with you --I hope

Kulapops
03-08-2010, 05:01 PM
Ha ha thats funny, I was referring to myself, so we have had the same experience, I think some people think I' a man!



lol.. for once someone has the draw on me... I did think you were a bloke!

:original:

Can't imagine why though.

Actually, I think you've hit the nail on the head here, regarding tail wagging. Instead of us jumping on any bandwaggon that's rolling past, or alternately, heading for the centre of a 'last stand' with our winchester '97 repeater drawn and at the ready, why don't we just post something else? Unrelated.

I'm always thinking we should be the change we want to see. You've made me think that perhaps adding to debates, even neutrally is not the right way forward.

Instead, in the tradition of great tour guides everywhere, let's just hoist a little yellow umbrella and say , 'This way please!'

So thanks for the writings... I tell you, cake wrecks .com is the place I go to right now if I need to smile...for no reason whatsoever.

I particularly liked the zoo keeper one.

Glad you stuck around Harper. Welcome to the women's team.

lol

K