GregorArturo
09-18-2008, 07:23 PM
So the past year, my life has been rather chaotic, good but chaotic. In December, you could say I began to awaken my psychic gifts, and well, they began to **** with me. It also started to nose dive me down the rabbit hole, unable to go back.
It was hard focusing on school that Spring semester. Instead of doing my homework or engaging in a social life, I would just read on for hours about everything, mainly spirituality, the news, and conspiracy theories. Basically everything hidden from the mainstream public. I barely got by that semester.
This summer things went slightly on hiatus as things in my life for the first started to go my way, and I got sucked back into materialism for a little while for the first time in a LONG time. My art gallery was taken off, my dance performances were going amazing, and I was living off my art, meeting amazing people, and yes, beautiful women. Biggest regret of this, I stopped meditating everyday to only a few times a week if that.
By the end of August, things started catching up with me again. I had by no means taken my eyes off the world theater, and was staying completely informed, check Project Camelots site still rather frequently. Well, as school approached again, things started to sink in much more, including the reality of the economy.
In essence, Avalon helped me fully reconnect to the issue at hand and the nature of reality. Thank you Bill & Kerry for that :original:! However, there still is this reality, school and my gallery. I have barely done any of my school work, in class I am not paying attention at all and zoning out beyond believe being deep in thought or sneaking in little news clips here and there through my cell phone. I know, just know I am going to fail out of school so quick if I keep going at this rate, but school seems so irrelevant at the moment. There seems like no point, especially when we're going over Homer and world geography when I already know it, and in essence its just for the damn credits and alas, that ******* piece of paper. All my friends who have already graduated don't even compare to amount of knowledge I know, outside of being just modest. This is the issue at hand, not my education. And I've known this for years but it keeps pulling me back in. Alas, what path do I take? This isn't me succumbing to fear, but just that I am in a constant state of frustration and feel like my mind is being pulled in all directions.
The name of the game is not "survival" as Socrates mentions in his famous Apology. It is doing what FEELS right and avoid doing what FEELS wrong. If you do not feel a strong inner urge to relocate you can trust that you are were you are supposed to be. Trust in Existance and not in all sorts of "outside sources" and "dire predictions".
Sanat's quote from her advice on getting out of survival mode sums up my position really well. My gut intuition says screw the October 1st deadline for your semester abroad this Spring in France. Don't worry about school (will there even be school down the road?), give yourself more time to meditate and relax, find people to help and even maybe awaken, most importantly be there for my family. I feel my time could be much more well suited in our areas but this god damn American materialistic bull **** pain in the ass dumb witted arrogant egotistical society is holding me back, and I really would like to take some of 'their' own medicine, and put some thermite on the chains that are holding me back, so I can take off and do what the **** is right.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Alas, I really only see one answer to this predicament and that is patience.
P.S. I feel so much more comfortable posting here than on craigslist's rant & raves, the pure center of human negativity. I love you guys :bleh: And what will happen to college classes come next month?
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This post has been moderated because inappropriate language has been used.
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It was hard focusing on school that Spring semester. Instead of doing my homework or engaging in a social life, I would just read on for hours about everything, mainly spirituality, the news, and conspiracy theories. Basically everything hidden from the mainstream public. I barely got by that semester.
This summer things went slightly on hiatus as things in my life for the first started to go my way, and I got sucked back into materialism for a little while for the first time in a LONG time. My art gallery was taken off, my dance performances were going amazing, and I was living off my art, meeting amazing people, and yes, beautiful women. Biggest regret of this, I stopped meditating everyday to only a few times a week if that.
By the end of August, things started catching up with me again. I had by no means taken my eyes off the world theater, and was staying completely informed, check Project Camelots site still rather frequently. Well, as school approached again, things started to sink in much more, including the reality of the economy.
In essence, Avalon helped me fully reconnect to the issue at hand and the nature of reality. Thank you Bill & Kerry for that :original:! However, there still is this reality, school and my gallery. I have barely done any of my school work, in class I am not paying attention at all and zoning out beyond believe being deep in thought or sneaking in little news clips here and there through my cell phone. I know, just know I am going to fail out of school so quick if I keep going at this rate, but school seems so irrelevant at the moment. There seems like no point, especially when we're going over Homer and world geography when I already know it, and in essence its just for the damn credits and alas, that ******* piece of paper. All my friends who have already graduated don't even compare to amount of knowledge I know, outside of being just modest. This is the issue at hand, not my education. And I've known this for years but it keeps pulling me back in. Alas, what path do I take? This isn't me succumbing to fear, but just that I am in a constant state of frustration and feel like my mind is being pulled in all directions.
The name of the game is not "survival" as Socrates mentions in his famous Apology. It is doing what FEELS right and avoid doing what FEELS wrong. If you do not feel a strong inner urge to relocate you can trust that you are were you are supposed to be. Trust in Existance and not in all sorts of "outside sources" and "dire predictions".
Sanat's quote from her advice on getting out of survival mode sums up my position really well. My gut intuition says screw the October 1st deadline for your semester abroad this Spring in France. Don't worry about school (will there even be school down the road?), give yourself more time to meditate and relax, find people to help and even maybe awaken, most importantly be there for my family. I feel my time could be much more well suited in our areas but this god damn American materialistic bull **** pain in the ass dumb witted arrogant egotistical society is holding me back, and I really would like to take some of 'their' own medicine, and put some thermite on the chains that are holding me back, so I can take off and do what the **** is right.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Alas, I really only see one answer to this predicament and that is patience.
P.S. I feel so much more comfortable posting here than on craigslist's rant & raves, the pure center of human negativity. I love you guys :bleh: And what will happen to college classes come next month?
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This post has been moderated because inappropriate language has been used.
************************************************** ***