Feeling un-motivated and quite out of place. And LOTS of paranormal stuff happening!

[2infinityandbeyond]

I'm writing this in the hope that maybe some of you can relate to it. Were going through some amazing times right now, that much is for sure.

Most of my life ive not really been hugely interested in this worldly life other then getting drunk and having fun and various other shenanigans. I just get the feeling that ive 'been there, done that' and there is very little out there that appeals to me in the slightest. Well, apart from girls.. basejumping, skydiving.. drinking.. you know.. the fun stuff. Everything else is just *falls asleep talking about it* *wakes up with 'asdf' printed into his face* where was i..

So right now im just floating in space.. and brown stuff is hitting the fan all around me. People are dying, people are changing, the economy is going belly up.. but, i couldnt care less most of the time. Not about that stuff, i have however been feeling very emotional this past year. Up one day like a cookoo then wallowing in the pits of despair the next. Very few people interest me, i cant talk 'normal' to people anymore.. i dont even feel the slightest urge to talk about mundane stuff like whats on the telly or how Jacks penis fell off in a strange pickle slicing accident.. now metaphysics.. afterlife.. spirituality, they ding my gong - (lol @ cencorship)

I know im not going completely insane because quite a few people here have made it clear that they relate with what im going through (woo!). To be honest I'd much rather log on here rather then go out with the people i used to love chillin with.

Anyone wish to share their experiences of late? Ohh yea, ive been having mental "abnormal" stuff happening every single day. Ranging from intuitive thoughts coming into reality to cups spinning on the table. As nuts as that sounds.. Not so long ago i came back from a healing session, uber weird. The healer and the other people there hit me with an indigo coloured bomb shell and the whole meeting was charged with such amazing energy. It was truly awesome the good energy coming from these guys, when i came home i was so charge up that when i sat down at the computer and touched the glass that was sitting on the table all day it just cracked right down the middle with a loud *ping!* Thats just a very small amount of the weirdness, if i have grandchildren, boy their gonna love my stories!

[Angel in Disguise]

Ha!!! I'm much like you, not feeling like surface conversation anymore. In fact, it almost makes me cringe. I enjoy all the exciting things as well, but as for society as it is... I could do without. I knew when I was 6 that school was not right, then working 5 days a week was not right. I didn't ask for any of it but went along with it because it's what I was taught. It's so exciting to know I was right all along... the lie I've been living is almost at it's final days and I'm SOOOO looking forward to the next phase... WOOHOO!!!

[MartyMcFailure]

I relate completely. actually my listlessness and apathy is extreme this last month. I dont feel like i am part of this world and this pardigm. i was talking to my old friend chuck who i have been thru a lot with since were in highschool..
we spoke about our apathy and how we feel like we we 'built
' for tough times. because we have really seen our fair share of tragedy and its funny how being so apathetic and then something happens and the inner voice says "now move" and ur just on autopilot..

[Jacqui D]

Yes i can relate to your feelings, i have also had some strange things happening.
I have felt out of sync for quite a while, as though i'm looking through my eyes but i'm someone completely different, this is hard to explain but my senses are all over the place.
I have had an intense feeling to clear clutter and sort through my stuff at home getting rid of bits i don't really need etc;

Each morning i would wonder if i was still in the same dimention convinced that in the night i had travelled somewhere!
I have had many odd dreams some scary where i have had alien entities searching for me, one dream i was caught that was really strange and frightening.
i have been in tune with nature and felt a disturbance on the earth.

I have noticed how all things are not in sync the way they used to be.
Days are flying past faster than ever, you turn around and it is night again and so the next day comes a continual cycle of odd things.

I have lost my interest in food! things do not taste the same anymore and i have been drinking bottled water for years because i picked up on the water poisoning years ago.

The air around us almost feels static, i look to the skys and watch for things all the time.

I am psychic but i have found in the last 4months all things, (ghosts, visitations,) seem to have disappeared there were times when a day hardly went past without an intervention of some kind.

I almost feel that the astral plain has moved, they are not coming through as they used to, is that weird or what?

[Bobcat]

I can also relate to you. I have never been able to run with the set system as it didn't make any sence to me. I have also got somewhat cut off from the "sheep" but I do feel a resposability to educate at a gentle rate the people around me " Slowly Slowly Catchy Monkey ".

p.s. I like the exciting things too :)

Bobcat

[2infinityandbeyond]

Yes i can relate to your feelings, i have also had some strange things happening.
I have felt out of sync for quite a while, as though i'm looking through my eyes but i'm someone completely different, this is hard to explain but my senses are all over the place.



Yes, i know exactly what you mean. Its as if.. Its extremely difficult to put into words but i'll try my best.

Its as though all my life i have been someone else.. autopiloting my way through life.. automatic emotions, automatic thoughts.. and it was as though i completely lacked any true awareness of myself.

But lately.. when i look out through my eyes.. I am looking out through my eyes. It feels like im observing myself observing myself.. haha, its very weird. But when i think about all this ascension stuff thats going on and i read through the apparent 'symptoms' people are having i can relate big time. Kinda fills me with a sense of wonder to know im a part of that. I iz special :lol3:

[GregorArturo]

I know im not going completely insane because quite a few people here have made it clear that they relate with what im going through (woo!). To be honest I'd much rather log on here rather then go out with the people i used to love chillin with.

I thought that exact same thing last night. For a second I was like, am I really going insane? Am I just delusional? Then it occurred to me, no, no I'm not because there are so many of us, and it explains so much! So many little gaps of the unknowns in our life are suddenly answered.

And yes, most importantly the synchronicities are getting ridiculous. If you see my 18 day cycle post (http://www.projectavalon.net/forum/showthread.php?t=3813), there's that interesting anomaly. I talked to this girl for the first time in over a week who I was seeing but basically lost touch of her cause her phone was left in her car that got impounded. The night before I dreamt I was hanging with this random girl who I was acting like boyfriend/girlfriend with, and we come back from shopping to find our car towed. And just a couple hours ago, this girl I was talking to for the first time on campus ***************[edit] :biggrin2: asked me where to she could go to view old newspaper articles to figure out what happened on her birthday in the news, for a class project. Last night I spent about ten minutes online trying to figure out if anything happened on my birthday, which I had never done before.

Infinity, all I can say is a resonate with you 100% at the moment. Thanks for sharing!

[gazbom]

Watch this short video!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7636577.stm

[Jacqui D]

I always felt school was alien for me, couldn't understand why we had to learn all the drudge when life experience was what seemed more important.

Never been interested in the whole ambition thing was always happy to let someone else get that promotion so on.
Caring for others have always been my game, i have been a long time foster carer and child minder as well as bringing up my own kids.

Always thought i was different to the other kids, always thinking ahead what to do in case of this or that, always watching my back.
always knew that i could look after myself in a have to stay alive scenario.
And this sounds bad but always knew that i could kill if i had to save myself or anyone close to me.
Is that weird or not for a small kid to be thinking those things.

[2infinityandbeyond]

but I do feel a resposability to educate at a gentle rate the people around me " Slowly Slowly Catchy Monkey ".



lol. Thanks for that actually. Where trying to 'enlighten' people is concerned ive adopted a "get it down yer" attitude down through the years and it has not worked very well. People just tend to reject great lumps of controversial information (as much as i like to try and put the whole picture into their heads) so im going to try a little bit more of a gentler approach and see what happens.

Cheers for the thought :thumb_yello:

[GregorArturo]

Watch this short video!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7636577.stm

Rather interesting, but how's this related besides showing that people are going crazy?

[clarkkent]

i feel fine and level headed, but i feel like goddamn NEO in the matrix sometimes when i talk to my friends. theyre all liberal progressive people and dont believe whats told them most the time, but with this they are so sold that our way of life CANNOT change, its impossible for the things i talk about to happen.

ive sent countless links to articles and videos given books etc, none of it does much convincing, i really felt like i was amongst the brainwashed when my buddy said we NEED the bailout, and i said "why?" and he said everyone he respected said we needed it, that just struck me as so naive, anybody with half a brain knows that if BUSH is pushing for it, you should look twice.

the energy it takes even for relatively open people to even investigate all this just a little is huge. ive tried and tried and most friends laugh it off and call me mel gibson in conspiracy theory.

very very frustrating, but i guess theyll believe it when they see it. not much else i can do.
its definitely an insane time, keeping a level head or being positive will tough for a lot of people, even here (as this thread suggests)

-"grey skies are gonna clear up...."

[2infinityandbeyond]

Watch this short video!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7636577.stm

Cheers for the link Gaz but its not working. .. at least not for me anyways.

[astropsyche]

I wonder if any of you have considered the affects of chem trails? I have been monitoring peoples' moods for some time now and really am convinced that black technologies are being used to affect us all. Depression and lethargy are in the catalogue of desirable negative states the cabal of the military/industrial controllers aim to generate in people.
Also - you may be experiencing blockages of positive, zingy energy because you have not yet found a way to sustain these delightful and precious energies on a daily basis. I suspect in the not too distant future you will encounter the means to give positive expression to these wonderful experiences in your everyday life. Then you will find there is not enough hours in the day for all the things you need to be doing!

[Brinty]

Your experience with spinning cups reminds me of an event which happened to me many years ago. Three of us were discussing 'fringe' topics when we decided to try contacting the 'spirit world'. You know the sort of thing, alphabet cards and 'yes' 'no' cards and an upsidedown glass. At the time, I had been divorced for about five years and was having a realationship with a young lady who I was contemplating proposing to. I asked if I would marry this person and the reply I got didn't make sense so I asked if I would have any more children besides the two from my first marriage. Once more the reply was unintelligable. Feeling the need to make sense of the situation I requested that we forget the questions and answers up to that point and start over again.

Would I have more children?
"Yes, three"
Will my current partner be the mother?
"No, stay married to (and here the letters didn't make sense) E L A I N E"

Now my first wife's middle name was LORRAINE, so I thought that the meaning was that I wouldn't be getting married again. That was in 1965. Two years later I did remarry and about six months after that it struck me like a bombshell - my new wife's name was ELAINE.

The lesson I learned from that was not to treat the paranormal as a load of rubbish. It also let me know that someone was keeping a watchful eye on me and even selecting my future partner for me before I even knew she existed. For that I am truely greatful as we have been together now for 41 years and in that time, believe it or not, we have not had any arguments. Which just goes to show that peace is possible, and it's not even hard work.

Love and peace,
Brinty

[GregorArturo]

Also - you may be experiencing blockages of positive, zingy energy because you have not yet found a way to sustain these delightful and precious energies on a daily basis. I suspect in the not too distant future you will encounter the means to give positive expression to these wonderful experiences in your everyday life. Then you will find there is not enough hours in the day for all the things you need to be doing!

Yeah, I feel this is sort of my problem at the moment. I'm an avid fire spinner, so I practice my s*** (poi, staff, contact juggling) for at least a half hour everyday if not more. However, exactly a month ago I tripped and sprained my wrist on my dominant hand. After a week, I took it as a sign to focus more on things like THIS over working out and performing all the time (busking is big bucks in my city). However, not doing my daily exercise, which I've been use to for two hours straight, is rather depressing you could say. Yesterday though was the first day I was able to exercise moderately. I felt great :biggrin2:

[2infinityandbeyond]

the energy it takes even for relatively open people to even investigate all this just a little is huge. ive tried and tried and most friends laugh it off and call me mel gibson in conspiracy theory.


Ahh that just goes to show you the extent and the effectivness of television brainwashing. Conspiracy theorists are woo woo's! Even though they stick a single generalisation on such an insanly vast topic and completely disregard any information that will follow up after the term 'conspiracy' is mentioned, we are the ones considered moronic tinfoil hat donning cuckoo clocks. Ohh the irony!

[Bobcat]

No Probs 2infinity,


About 2 years ago I decided to turn off my feelings and stay out of touch with the "extra feelings". So I did just that and I had my kids and went along with the "offness". Then about 6months ago I said to my partner "**** this i'm turning myself back on". i'm happy again :)
funny how well the switch works :/

[joet1980]

Then you will find there is not enough hours in the day for all the things you need to be doing!


Funny you mention this. This past week I have thought about the fact that some time ago I felt there were in fact not enough hours in the day. Now I could care less and sometimes just want it to end faster.

[gazbom]

Rather interesting, but how's this related besides showing that people are going crazy?
Feeling un-motivated and quite out of place. And LOTS of paranormal stuff happening! level headed????
Tired of life, maybe?
Not really fitting in, stop the world I wanna get off?

[Oneness]

I've been feeling extremely alone for the last year, unable to share anything with anyone, for fear of ridicule. There are only one or two close friends that I can share the tiniest with...Not even my own family has a clue.

I've always felt different in some way, and it's intensity has magnified over this last year. Many times I began questioning myself. My girlfriend of 5 years even left because she said my ideas where becoming too extreme, besides other things. Nonsense she said.

Now I know I'm not alone. That there ARE others out there....and this forum has been a wake up call for me.

Thank you for letting me share.

Namaste. All of you.

[Ali Quadir]

Do you guys feel like maybe you're just not connecting to the world?

How many of you had difficult births? I'm going out on a limb here. But there's your physical body, and your light body and if the two are not connecting fullly (or like astropsyche suggests are otherwise blocked) you get the "Not quite there" feeling. And if that's a pattern from birth then it's a minor miracle you survived childhood. So we'd expect some early childhood, birth related problems. Many people who fail to connect just take off right back into the blue yonder leaving the physical shell for worm food.

Your flirts with the risky sports and behavior can be seen as ways to connect to the physical. It's only then that you feel alive. Also if you're really risky it's a way to satisfy that internal desire for the blue yonder.

The reason for not connecting is not always easy to point out. But often it's because you just don't feel comfortable being here. And that might be for a more "mundane" reason than really not belonging here. It might just be traumatic death last time round. If you don't connect then the world can't really hurt you.. Because it's not really real after all... On the other hand, it cannot satisfy you either. As a reference, fully connecting feels quite orgasmic.

Think about it... If you do not belong here... Why are you here? Some cosmic accident? Your soul caught the wrong incarnation vortex? Even if you come here from another place, star system or even galaxy. You came HERE so this is where you chose to be. So this is where you belong.

It worked out for me... As a baby I refused to eat and only slept. I survived and felt disconnected the first 25 years of my life like you guys describe until a friend told me to just bloody connect.. So now this planet is my planet and I'm feeling very much alive. It's your state of mind that's causing the effect, not your situation.

You guys are awesome by the way.. I haven't detected one "normal" person on the forum yet... I think I'll feel right at home here :P

[Jacqui D]

I have always said I DID NOT VOLUNTEER TO COME HERE I WAS DRAGGED KICKING AND SCREAMING!!!
I think i was trapped in some vortex or portal, when i entered this earth time, i certainly would never have volunteered.
And if i get a chance of leaving this planet and by the way some of these threads are going it won't be long lol!!
I shall make sure i won't be re entering !!!!!!!!!!:shocked:

[OceanWinds]

I know how you all feel... its not that everything is mundane, its just that everything is so full of B.S. I cant ignore the smell of the B.S. , and when I try, I just come back to reality. But most people are glad to just ignore the smell, and roll around in it. I just cant do it.

[freekatz]

Glad to see there are so many people who feel the way I do! Why are we stuck in this god forsaken drone-like existance? Perhaps it's the same everywhere else but I have to believe there is more to look forward to than this....:shocked:

[Princess Mew Mew]

Wow.. I feel like I can relate to almost every single post in here so far.

Lately I've been feeling pretty disconnected. I've been a loner for most of my life but this year has been absolutely bizarre. And I've been feeling very lonely lately. And it's a feeling I absolutely can't stand anymore, I've been feeling lonely my whole life.

One of my friends thinks I don't love her anymore. I simply don't feel motivated enough to go out and do things I have to do, such as paying rent, depositing money, paying the electricity bill. I've never liked these things and never will.. As a kid growing up I hated homework, I only loved school because it was my escape from home. But kids treated me poorly, teachers thought I had mental problems, I was put on Ritalin starting 4th grade. When I was 5 I could read back a long list of numbers, backwards, with no effort whatsoever. I was irritated, at that age, that the teachers were amazed. I lost this ability very quickly.. But recently my daydreams are turning into real occurrences, my daydreams are coming true in my reality.

Today I saw 11:11AM. The synchronicity is becoming more and more frequent. I'm seeing the same times almost everyday. I'm either extremely sensitive to people's energy or not very sensitive at all and this seems to be fluctuating throughout my recent days. It's very confusing to me. Ever since I was born, I have always been very sensitive to the energy around me. I was very heavily influenced by the negativity, but I have indeed prepared my mind for the future.

So many changes... My father, I was very attached to him, passed away 14 days before my 21st birthday last year, January 14th 2007. He died in less than 10 days. Since then.. I have been hardly eating, I've been pretty anorexic with my eating habits for over a year now. I quit smoking cigarettes in the beginning of last month, but I did this on the Big Island and when I came back to my apartment on Oahu, I fell back into it.. I noticed that I am extremely unmotivated on this island. The energy here is chaotic.. A lot of my acquaintances and friends do a lot of drugs and partying, a lot of them don't know themselves, they don't appreciate themselves..

I've been exchanging information with many people and friends and some family. And I am having great difficulty being friends with or feeling connected to certain friends of mine these days.. A lot of them have too many fears and attachments or too much anger and chaos.. I'm finding it harder and harder to stay close to some friends as they either think I'm crazy.. or simply because of their energy, it makes me feel dirty or it makes my body shake uncontrollably when some of my friends get extremely worked up over an issue.. Last night I had to ask my roommate a couple times to please calm down, the energy in my room was so frickin intense, I felt hyper and chaotic like my roommate was acting and I was having a really hard time feeling calm.

The energy around me and coming from me seems to be really static-y, or really intense. When me or anyone in my room gets angry or worked up, my head, back, shoulders, arms, and hands all get really hot, like I'm being heated up. I get headaches before an argument breaks out. Ahh the list goes on and on.. and I probably sound too vague, either way.. I felt the need to express myself in someway..

I've been pretty damn confused lately, the energy I'm feeling is confusing.. I have no idea what's going on, I've been having a hard time focusing on certain things. I've been having a lot of difficulty with my communication skills lately, can't seem to organize my thoughts or formulate a proper sentence.. Regardless of all this.. I am always trying to maintain a space of love, it's been difficult..I gotta toughen up.. dunno why but I've been in a state of sorrow all day today, can't stop crying, where did my happiness go? This is weird to me..sometimes my body feels disconnected and light, like I'll blow away or fall over in the slightest breeze..and then sometimes I feel stuck, so stuck that it almost seems impossible to move.. This has been extremely frustrating for me :tears: I hope we can all find our answers when they're needed. I love you all, may the force be with you :original:

[Racsouran]

all the people on this forum is very probably feeling the same. At least, the "feel out of place" part.


also seems most people aren´t able to handle the energies that are being released inside themselves.


The personal objetive all of you must take very hardly into account is to integrate those energies into yourselves by working willingly on it. Not easy, but not impossible. I´ts a suggestion that could make wonders, cause if you really left those energies to control you, your life could be, as screwed as it is now, or worse.

[2infinityandbeyond]

Language, drugs...

We don't want to tip off the authorities, encourage bad habits or offend anyone.

Somehow this thread has been hijacked.

Completely hijacked threads will be SHOT DOWN. :biggrin2:

Sorry about the language. I'm a product of my environment, im pretty sure you wont find anything written here that young ones havent already heard a couple of hundred times on the television. But that said, i promise to curb it in the future.


Could you explain what you mean when you say its been hijacked.
Hopefully its not Alciada

[333mark333]

Friends we are experiencing the Shift! hold on to your pants cause were in for quite a ride. We are leaving the body consciousness. :)

[2infinityandbeyond]

Friends we are experiencing the Shift! hold on to your pants cause were in for quite a ride. We are leaving the body consciousness. :)

You do realise how mental this would have sounded seven years ago.

That just occured to me, how much has changed in these past eight years. I would like to use the word phenominal but that would be putting it delicatly.

[Tuza]

Have you heard the interview with the Half Past Human guy Kerry and Bill did which was posted yesterday on Project Camelot. This goes into this subject and why we are feeling this way. Give it a listen and let me know what you think. Cheers.

[333mark333]

You do realise how mental this would have sounded seven years ago.

That just occured to me, how much has changed in these past eight years. I would like to use the word phenominal but that would be putting it delicatly.

Brother, i have been waiting and preparing for this since 96, for me i pray it intensifies :)

[2infinityandbeyond]

Have you heard the interview with the Half Past Human guy Kerry and Bill did which was posted yesterday on Project Camelot. This goes into this subject and why we are feeling this way. Give it a listen and let me know what you think. Cheers.

I tried to Tuza but i just cant make out what he's saying. The transcript is gonna be out soon, im looking foreward to reading it.

[2infinityandbeyond]

Brother, i have been waiting and preparing for this since 96, for me i pray it intensifies :)

It actually does seem to be intensifieing day by day. Whereas before it would take a few months to make another energetic 'leap' it is making that same leap in a week now. This whole 2012 thing is really gathering steam now, any doubts in my mind as to its significance have completely diminished.

[333mark333]

It actually does seem to be intensifieing day by day. Whereas before it would take a few months to make another energetic 'leap' it is making that same leap in a week now. This whole 2012 thing is really gathering steam now, any doubts in my mind as to its significance have completely diminished.

Totally agree- i am growing beyond my wildest dreams. I feel like im out of body all the time now( used to only happen in meditations). Feel like i am leaving this body consciousness, feel like im on acid or ????

[Racsouran]

Totally agree- i am growing beyond my wildest dreams. I feel like im out of body all the time now( used to only happen in meditations). Feel like i am leaving this body consciousness, feel like im on acid or ????


lol, then it really works on you. I felt that way back in 1998.

[starsoul23]

This has been the longest movie Ever!

But ha ha you do not get to leave until you want to stay!

It has been hard work staying grounded um moldavite helps.

[Frank Samuel]

In the last couple of weeks I found more and more people,
talking about UFO, area 51, things not being normal .
The strange thing is that this type of subjects are coming from people I know to be skeptics. Most of what I've heard is, "With everything that is going on in the world, I know something big is going to happen".
This has allowed me to talk about project camelot and project avalon to these people. There's a shift in the conciousness of many people.

[2infinityandbeyond]

In the last couple of weeks I found more and more people,
talking about UFO, area 51, things not being normal .
The strange thing is that this type of subjects are coming from people I know to be skeptics. Most of what I've heard is, "With everything that is going on in the world, I know something big is going to happen".
This has allowed me to talk about project camelot and project avalon to these people. There's a shift in the conciousness of many people.

Ive noticed this. Its like theres been a massive shift in the conciousness of everyone, not just the 'conspiracy theorists'. People seem way more receptive to this stuff now, is this the 100th monkey effect in action?

[Operator]

Hi,

Well this thread resonates with me as well. Since the seventies I got the feeling I was in the wrong time and the wrong place.
Mostly I learned about a diversity of skills and then went on and on. Only recently I discovered I wasn't in the wrong time
and after I moved I feel I am in the right place too.

All the skills I picked up seem to be of good use soon. Fortunately I have not been in drugs nor alcohol. The most frustrating
part for me was that I am only 'sensing' things while not being able to identify them as like 'seeing' or hearing' it.

As you all know it already is very difficult to discuss these things with others. However it's even more frustrating if you try
to discuss something like this not EXACTLY knowing what it is.

Something like , knowing ahead of the pack the right and wrong options but not always being able to detail it.
So after a while you stop doing it to avoid frustrating others but then you yourself are going to absorb the frustration ...

Now time changes, if some 'predictions' from feelings become true. In difficult times they don't care any longer how you got
to the result. So this lightens up a little ... however I can sense time is becoming more and more severe.

I think I understand the remark of dr. Deagle pretty well when he advices to keep a perfect mental balance.

Cheers

[whitecrow]

I'm writing this in the hope that maybe some of you can relate to it...


You're joking right? Just kiddin'...I'm guessing most of the folks here can relate. Your story is interesting as it is an example of someone pretty much being yanked into this new world so to speak...and I would think it could be pretty traumatic for some.

Relax.

Probably the most startling thing for you is all the psychic manifestations. Sounds like you're getting hit with both barrels. You must be extremely gifted. In time you'll become at ease with these new experiences. If you remain open, you may meet people who will mentor you in one or more of these new ways of perceiving. And that's all it is: the boundaries of your perceptions have simply moved outward. I believe that part of this occurs when the pineal gland and the amygdala somehow come into a harmonic state. When this happens, sometimes the frontal lobes - that big part of the brain that no one is fully certain what all of it is there for - sometimes the frontal lobes kind of "snap" into synch with the amygdala and/or the third eye or pineal. I don't know if this is a real explanation for how our senses can be modified, but I do know that these parts of the brain are specially active, and can be made more so with conscious practice.

I used to do some crazy stuff...I'd've loved to have tried base jumping. You plainly have a unique combination of abilities to combine with this quickening new life within you. I'm glad for you, because from your description of yourself "before," you sounded like someone slipping into anomie. Now you are uniquely equipped to undertake an amazing new adventure, one that will never become boring.

[recallone]

Great post - like so many of you, I've been Holding Pattern Harry for the last two days. Could it be HAARP messing with us? Trying to scramble our vibes? Could be. Could it be Mercury and Uranus doing their thang? Definitely a contributing factor, I think.
All valid points and suppositions. I was just relieved to see that I'm not the only one feeling like this. So now I know I'm not just in my head with all of this - the best advice I've received? Get centered. Do whatever it takes to get in that place of calm - no rambling voices telling you to do this and that - just calm connection. Tough, but not impossible. Just one more responsibility we gladly accept.


<this portion of my initial reply I have concluded is unnecessary because it was addressing a moderator's comment, a comment that has since been removed>

Peace and light.
recallone

[Oneness]

Friends we are experiencing the Shift! hold on to your pants cause were in for quite a ride. We are leaving the body consciousness. :)


Stated with resolve. :thumb_yello:

And we are all in this together.


http://www.dragonflybiofuel.com/images/fotolia_948088_000.jpg

[333mark333]

stated with resolve. :thumb_yello:

And we are all in this together.


http://www.dragonflybiofuel.com/images/fotolia_948088_000.jpg

i am here with you :)

[whitecrow]

Totally agree- i am growing beyond my wildest dreams. I feel like im out of body all the time now( used to only happen in meditations). Feel like i am leaving this body consciousness, feel like im on acid or ????


I got a chuckle there! Dunno how old you are but I'm pushing 60, and that's a pretty good description of how I feel, too...these last eight years have been an amazing trip. And believe it or not, some of us have known this was coming for forty years and more. It's still an incredible, amazing ride!

[Angel in Disguise]

This great event is what I'm here for and I can't wait, the anticipation is killing me. I've never jumped out of a plane before but I'd imagine that what I'm feeling is exactly like the moment right before you jump, most days anyhow. It's gotta be coming soon... is this really happening? Lol... I ask myself that often, only to smile and think, yes, yes it is... Finally :):):)
I trust through this thread I'm not the only one ;) Much love and enjoy the ride, it's just a ride ;)

[2infinityandbeyond]

This great event is what I'm here for and I can't wait, the anticipation is killing me. I've never jumped out of a plane before but I'd imagine that what I'm feeling is exactly like the moment right before you jump, most days anyhow. It's gotta be coming soon... is this really happening? Lol... I ask myself that often, only to smile and think, yes, yes it is... Finally :):):)
I trust through this thread I'm not the only one ;) Much love and enjoy the ride, it's just a ride ;)

:welcomeani: Angel!

Its just a ride, to quote the legandary Bill Hicks. How many of you guys were attracted to him when you were younger? I know i was, i wasnt one for conventional mainstream "Fake funny" comedy but this guy had me in stitches, and like all good comedians he got me thinking.

Its just a ride, and sure its enjoyable.. But only when you come to understand thats just what it is, a ride. Coming here to avalon helps a lot, i tellz ya. It can be difficult when you feel like your on your own with this.. sometimes i thought i was going nuts. But this, this is kinda like closure for me, helps me get proper centred you know.

Thanks for all your responses so far guys, this post was made with the intention of helping people realise that they arent on their own with what might be going on inside of their heads. Id give it a five star rating, not for my post, but for the responses. Cant do that no no, Avalon has a policy against blowing ones own trumpet.

So if this thread has value for you, give it a good rating :thumb_yello:

[gwynned]

i feel fine and level headed, but i feel like goddamn NEO in the matrix sometimes when i talk to my friends. theyre all liberal progressive people and dont believe whats told them most the time, but with this they are so sold that our way of life CANNOT change, its impossible for the things i talk about to happen.

I was fortunate to see David Icke this past weekend in Santa Clara and he talked quite a bit about the Matrix. At one point, he said "We are all NEO." "We are all THE ONE."

I don't know what suddenly triggers someone to start looking outside the prescribed dogma for answers, but unless or until they do, there is almost nothing one can do to change their minds. Like many of you, I seem to have woken up one day and a switch went off. In the end, it just takes too much energy and we need all the energy we can muster if we are to advance our spirituality. For myself, I look at almost every activity as either depleting or enriching, and find myself more and more simply not interested in those activities that many here have identified as depleting - watching TV, hanging out and just talking about mundane matters, shopping at the mall. I'm hell bent on throwing out old stuff, cleaning and getting my house in order. Oddly, Icke mentioned he went through the same process, so there appears to be something there.

He also had an insight into escaping the Matrix which I will share. It's rather obvious, but nonetheless, I find it helpful. If one is in a maze, it's very hard to determine the escape route. However, if one can look down on the maze, it's quite easy. The trick is to use one's intuition and tap into the higher self, so that one can use that higher perspective to find one's way out, rather than using one's reptilian ego brain to think one's way out.

Thanks to everyone for their insights. It's very helpful.

[lehomonuka]

I have always said I DID NOT VOLUNTEER TO COME HERE I WAS DRAGGED KICKING AND SCREAMING!!!
I think i was trapped in some vortex or portal, when i entered this earth time, i certainly would never have volunteered.
And if i get a chance of leaving this planet and by the way some of these threads are going it won't be long lol!!
I shall make sure i won't be re entering !!!!!!!!!!:shocked:

:lmao: In TOTAL agreement w/ you. I kinda sorta feel like one of the isrealite brats following Mose, bellowing, at times at the top of my lungs" I DON'T LIKE THIS outta bondage/awakened *****" "when are we getting to that 2021/4d/promised land":mad3: I've read that what we are going thru in
http://www.soulwise.net/et-101.htm (recommended you read entirely)
"ascension symptoms" compounded by the neonazi traitorous chemtrail haarp playing azwholes:mad3:
and the elders are sayin "just love them all,shine your love light on em
bless em":naughty: Spirit say "cheer up lil buckeroo, you didn't like it the last time(s) either "But you volunteered(agin) dint cha":lmfao:
"cheer up saints,it's gonna get different"

[Skillet]

Feeling very un-motivated mostly toward my work. Seems like such a waste of time now. The harder I work the less I make. What is most motvating right now is getting in closer contact with the spirital relm, findinding a safe place for my family when the s--- hits the fan, and being three miles off La Jolla in a kayak catching dinner. Thinking very seriously about going off the grid and building a hobbit house in the mountains. My friends and neighbors don't have even a clue. Thank God for this forum! No gloom and doom here, just want to be prepared.

[eurosceptic]

yes resonate with that - though in a paradoxical way, society and culture hasnet always provided and obvious framework to do it all in! Culture is the enemy as Terrence Mckenna says.

I'm a big fan of hiking up mountains etc and adventure of course - getting to know the planet a bit better in other words....:thumb_yello:

I have had 'paranormal' things happen - in the last year a few more things....with less time between them....and recently I have had a surge of very interesting vivid dreams.:yikes:

[cantaloupe]

Great thread, very comforting to know other thinking, feeling folks are going through this stuff too. I gauge the situation partially by keeping an eye on the willingness to listen of those friends who normally glaze over/ change the subject when I bring up topics like these. The energy/ anxiety/ anticipation that is currently insinuating itself into everyones' heads is causing an opening to the alternate views that I am only just now beginning to see. Don't give up!
Keep trying to tell the people you love that these events are occurring. To do so will help us overcome our own resistance to what's coming. I'm scared. I like the phrase "ascension symptoms" because it helps put the fear in context and enables me to try to move beyond it. . I am trying to foster the belief that these are all just challenges and they will be met -BY US! As the chain keeps clicking us to that first plunge of the roller coaster the only thing that I can think to do is to try to keep a loving heart out in front of it all. Thanks, everyone, for contributing here.

[Bobcat]

Supose this doesnt sound very man like but...Over the last few weeks I have been crying alot. When I watch/read things about the inocent getting hurt :( can't hold my emotions in very well, it's alomst like i feel the pain too and my private pain for their pain.

Funny old thing for a mentaly strong person eh :P

[Jacqui D]

Well here we go again, go to bed, get up, do the daily grind;

Help i want to get off!!!!

[scanner]

:welcomeani:Hi all I've been going through the same process 4 years, I've also been getting very strange dreams just lately, anybody else? I was in the pub wid my friend ( he's one of us thank god someone to talk to ) the other day just looking around, it was like ( if you ever seen the adds ) everybody was rushing around and we were sat still in time and looking in on them ?? I was thinking sheeple i'm seeing this more and more . My Wife now taking notice of me at last after 27 years of not :mfr_lol: , she's been having strange dreams as well, sorry if I've gone a bit just thought I'd share. Thanks:thumb_yello:

[Irving]

This thread is totally awesome.

I've been surely having a hard time as of lately but have been trying to enjoy every second of the mystery unfold. The biggest reason I have been having a hard time is because of incredibly out of control asthma that I stupidly fueled by smoking cigarettes for years, then being involved in a house fire, and then working an industrial job sandblasting and machine spray painting. I have since quit smoking and I have been struggling to deal with this issue for quite some time but I have still not yet been able to find help to pin down exactly what is wrong with me. I'm afraid at 24 I very possibly already have some sort of permanent lung/bronchial damage that even further aggravates asthma. I struggle to talk and have lost much of the depth and deepness of my voice. This has basically been crippling me as my body feels much like a prison from which I cannot properly communicate from. I constantly avoid hanging out and seeing friends because it depresses me that I cannot properly communicate. I feel like these are my postmodern years because me earlier reckless lifestyle and full tilt rock n' roll attitude have chewed me up and spit me out to be the slightly bitter and damaged person that I am now.

Otherwise I love life and love to be able to be a solid voice of reason and logic during these changing times, but my respiratory problem unfortunately limits me very much. I used to party hard, do occasional drugs of many varieties, play guitar in local and successful rock bands, all the while going to college, and graduating, with a bachelors degree in media studies and philosophy. I have spent many years figuring out what the reality of our world situation is and I feel like I have so much knowledge and information to share but I am not wielding my responsibility well. I have always loved my ability to take on and embrace both branches of intellectual truth searcher and have a good time recklessly rocking. I have surely gone through bouts of depression in the past as well as periods in life of pure ecstasy and I feel that I am now at a plateau where I am somewhat indifferent. I don't think I would shudder if I knew that I was going to die in an hour from now.

I luckily cook in a kitchen for work and I have just about the coolest boss ever, so he doesn't mind when I constantly show up hours late almost everyday. I am not making even enough money to get by and am increasingly spending on credit cards just to buy food. I have a college degree but feel unable to even want to search for a better job because I cannot talk or communicate properly and I know that our current system is about to crash to the ground anyway. I do indeed feel quite alone and trapped in my mind with the information that I have and I have become a bit reckless. I guess I have sort of a melancholy post-modern sadness and frustration while at the same time being meditative and totally living in the now and being happy and content just to hear the silence in between all of the chaos. It sounds contradictory, but it makes sense to me. lol.

I have a family who is utterly clueless as to what is going on and my attempts to enlighten them have been rather futile. I seem to be getting through to them a bit better but I am still far from actually having them seriously listen to me for advice. My father just purchased a large flat screen TV and a brand new Mazda two door convertible and I can't help but think that he is so immature. My older brother has a young baby and I am trying my hardest, through emails and communication, to gently inform them so that they can take precautions, but they just think that I am a conspiracy theorist. They are recklessly sleepwalking into the financial catastrophe and I am desperately trying to help them, but they just don't see it. I also feel pressure from my family to get a "career" and do something with my life. It's hard to tell them that the current paradigm is about to end and that I am killing time until the golden age arrives but that we had all better get seriously ready for some potential hard times during the transformation. Somehow they don't take me seriously when I talk about this, haha. I am now reading Peter Schiff's "Crash Proof" to become better informed to help my family get a fighting chance.

Damn, I could just go on and on about my current state of affairs and how discouraged I sometimes am. haha. My current health condition and other factors have convinced me to not even really to try to survive in the coming years, I want to, but I am just going to go down with the ship. At such a young age I'm already so tired and feel like I'm much older than my actual age. I am ready for ANYTHING to happen to finally force the masses to be involved. In the meantime I still run a blog and I write a lot, so maybe I can do my part to help awaken some more people.

I would agree with all of you that it is very difficult to continue doing the routine tasks of this dying paradigm when you know its all about to end!

I often dream and daydream about the coming utopia and golden age where my health has returned and my family, friends, and girlfriend who left me, understand where I, and others like me, have been coming from for all these years. haha. I can't wait. This post is a little long and probably depressing as hell, haha, but I had to vent I guess. Bring on tomorrow, man. I'm waiting and watching.

[2infinityandbeyond]

:welcomeani: to the thread Irving.

I started it in the hope that people would talk about themselves and its pretty (id usually say f**king here but ive been warned) 'damn' cool to see so many people willing to talk about themselves, it helps everyone involved. Well, its definitly helping me anyways, pretty cool to know im not alone in my sanity.

What you said about your dad, my dad is going down the same route. Only difference being that he knows theres a financial crash coming, and i guess the only way he can comfort himself right now is through buying a fast motor so he can live it up for a bit (he's a sucker for the girls). His mustache isnt doing it alone these days im afraid so he reckons getting a newer faster car will attract a newer faster woman (lol, i love that guy!). Each to their own i suppose. Im just about to sell my car, buy my own parachute and spend the rest of my days jumping off ridiculously high mountains, id rather die having fun then die in misery waiting for the inevitible crash thats heading our way. Why not like, heck, if the man upstairs wants me to be here he'll incarnate me again, nothing worse then waiting patiently for **** to happen, that will drive you nuts!


Sorry to hear about your chest problems, did you try looking into alternative treatments? From my own experience ive grown to understand that most illness are caused through unresolved mental issues. I'm no expert but it might help you a bit if you check out more 'alternative' treatments.

[Morphious]

:original:I know exactly how you feel, I feel the same way. I cant talk to people anymore , it just seems pointless to conversate about stuff thats so mundane. Nothing intrests me much anymore. TV pfft yea right. Even this computer is getting old. BUT i like to hear everything that people say here and find out whats REALLY going on. blah....It's like im waiting for this HUge shift thats comming and boy, do i feel this BIG TIME ! I also feel very charged up with energy , so much so im burning out light bulbs all the time, they never burnt out before ...So i went to an old friends house ( friend of 20 + years) and we were talking and things were fine. I felt very energized when i was there and i think it was a bad time to go there. As we were chatting with a couple other people, He just out of no were started going off about somthing very unimportant, and got in my face and was yelling and almost got into a fight. After i got home and started thinkin about it i came to one conclusion, He was not ready to be around my energy at this time, it was to much for him to handle and he had to get rid of it somehow. This is what i think happend, because he never had got in my face like that before(weird) indeed ! At night i feel like someone is standing there all the time watching me. Just thought i would throw that out there. It's very scary to me as i dont know who or what it is. I have tryied talking with it , them , him , her , whatever it is but get nothing...thats a little of whats going on here ! cheers !:original:

[Bobcat]

Hiya Irving and a warm welcome to you friend,

Tight lines and peace :)

[deepblu777]

I feel it a lot, too. The only people I know and can converse on these subjects with are my husband and one of my daughters.
I have 2 other daughters, one doesn't really want to hear any of it and the other gets it and can take a little, but they're busy beginning their lives (college, work, relationships) so I understand their attachment to this reality. When I was thier age and building my life, I wasn't interested in changing my reality either.
My sister lost her husband unexpectedly in February, his father in July and his sister is expected to die any day now (brain tumor). She has the general knowledge of this 'coruption' but to her the details are depressing and annoying. I've tried to make her understand that knowlegde/knowing is not depressing. Yes, facts can be disturbing (sometimes it took a day or two to assimilate and adjust to the new info) but who wants 'ignorance is bliss'? How can you know how important it is to act with love in all things if you don't know all the things you can?
I started my 'search for knowing' in July, 2007. It all started on a boring summer night, nothing on t.v. but reruns. I got on the web and thought 'I wonder what's new with the U.F.O. conspiracy?' I always knew they weren't telling us everything about that, but I had no idea of what I was opening myself up to. I ended up listening to lectures, interviews, documentaries, read some papers and books. I listened to researchers, journalists, engineers, physicists, doctors, a few politicians/preachers, witnesses...everybody! It was quickly clear to me that the only way I could develope my understanding/truth was to listen to as many perspectives as I could. I've calculated that I've probablly spent over 2000 hours at this point in my search to understand. This is nothing compared to the time these people spent, some of them-years of their lives, to research these subjects so they could pass the information on to people like me. I'm very grateful to them for that because there's no way I could know this much by myself.
So, now I find myself with one foot in one reality and one in the other, trying to keep my balance. I know the love, tolerance and understanding I put out is the most important thing I have to contribute so I try to keep that focus. But I do feel a gulf of separation on awareness with the people I work with, friends I talk to. I'm not of their world and they're not of mine...yet.
When I'm feeling unmotivated, I work on my art. It makes me happy to create and I contemplate deeply when I'm 'in the zone'. I keep putting out the good/positive energy even though I don't know who's out there picking it up, because it doesn't matter who gets it, only that I put it out there. And when I have the opportunity, I speak the truth that I know. Sometimes it falls on deaf ears but I think sometimes I plant a seed. I hope!
I hope I love I dream I care....I'm grateful!
And I'm not unaware anymore...
Oh yea, wierd stuff....my husband, daughter and I - all noticing weird/different little things...are any of you having interupted sleep as well?
p.s. I am also grateful to find 'abby normal' folks here, loving you all! :lmfao:

[deepblu777]

MORPHIOUS - - -
I can relate to your incident. When I tried to talk to my brother about this the first time, he got so angry with me. I couldn't believe it! Where did that come from? I realized... it was fear.
In a later conversation, he seemed to have come around a little. He's a trucker and the whole 'North American Union'/Mexican truck driver issues were finally getting around to him. He's less able to close his eyes now.

[recallone]

:original: ...So i went to an old friends house ( friend of 20 + years) and we were talking and things were fine. I felt very energized when i was there and i think it was a bad time to go there. As we were chatting with a couple other people, He just out of no were started going off about somthing very unimportant, and got in my face and was yelling and almost got into a fight. After i got home and started thinkin about it i came to one conclusion, He was not ready to be around my energy at this time, it was to much for him to handle and he had to get rid of it somehow. :original:

MORPHIOUS - - -
I can relate to your incident. When I tried to talk to my brother about this the first time, he got so angry with me. I couldn't believe it! Where did that come from? I realized... it was fear.
In a later conversation, he seemed to have come around a little. He's a trucker and the whole 'North American Union'/Mexican truck driver issues were finally getting around to him. He's less able to close his eyes now.

While dreams have become more intense for many people, mine are still a bit nebulous. However, I am receiving definite impressions from my dreams that carry on into the day. Call it guidance, a mantra, I don't know.
These two responses made it clear that I should share the experience and phrase that stuck with me just the other day.

The message is not for everyone.

That's it. Many of us are frustrated when loved ones refuse to hear the information that we're trying to give them, but again - the message is not for everyone. Let he who hath ears listen...
Not everyone is ready for the kind of information we bat around so easily in these forums. It's okay to be at peace while others don't know. Our job is to raise our vibration enough to make the leap a little more manageable for the rest who don't yet know. IMHO, that is.
Peace.

[fastarr]

Auto pilot is the perfect term. It is getting harder to stay involved in a world that has no meaning for me. Hence my personal struggle. My family and close friends (there are few), really keep things in perspective for me.

I love to talk to everyone, even strangers. Well mostly strangers. They always have interesting stories to tell. Most of those I know are always about the same thing. "What to buy", "Who's dating whom","Keeping up with the Jones", LAME. The conversations I enjoy the most are the one I have with myself. Where I sort through my crazy thoughts and ideas on a daily basis.


And on the sleep note: I haven't had steady sleep for over two years. I wake up all night. Still vividly dreaming though. I love to dream i would stay in bed and dream all day if I could.

[Angel in Disguise]

Ahhhhh... What a relief! I'm not alone :thumb_yello:

[LotusEarth]

I'm a public school teacher. And I detest it, like every job that i've had. You know the micromanagement, manipulation, worked to death. This is what we live for? It's such an empty feeling!! I feel like the bs of working and putting your life in a situation to make money, because this is what society requires of us, is the most negative and ridiculous thing that I've ever experienced. I've always wanted to be homeless, in the sense of not having to deal with triteness and b.s. of our so called reality. I discovered David Wilcock's website and then Camelot and the energy and connection is beyond belief. It's so powerful. I feel, that in someway this is where I belong. In this community, with the clouds, the universe, in the earth...I can't explain. I just feel it, very deeply. I feel that slowly, i'm starting to learn how to fend off things that really don't matter to me.
I'm so glad to be a part of this..... Whatever happens.... it's going to be a great ride!

Bless you all,
:original:

"The privedlege of a lifetime, is being who you are!"
-Joesph Campbell

[Spinner]

I can relate to what just about everyone here is saying. I am grateful for the internet and threads like this because if it weren't for forums like this, I would consider myself totally alone. I read in so many places how people feel just exactly like I do and yet when I go out into the public, people appear to be going on with their lives as if nothing in particular is going on with them or the world and I have learned to keep my mouth shut if I don't want to be treated like an oddball. :roll1:

[tommy]

I totally relate to your feelings, being brought up in this prison factory world,where dont rock the boat is the accepted norm. But things are very definatly in a state of flux all across the board ,money slavery, ET contact , the illuminati becoming visible.Its a great time to be here now.
Love ' light

[merkabagirl]

Too bizarre ... ditto to all. Also been experiencing an unusual sort of ('ESP'?) ... when I look at certain people intently I get a 'felt sense' of how it feels to be in their body ... hard to describe ... kinda like when you touch someone's cut, injury or scab and you feel the pain rush? ... contact sensory feeling which I've felt with plants/trees a few times but not people ... anyway, just really feeling connected to a higher dimension at ease altho' sinking into pits of despair at other times ... out in quiet nature zone now and I feel i can literally swim in the stillness my senses deeper enlivened acute perception .... hold the light!

[lotusflower]

Where have all of you been my whole life? I can't agree with you all more. I too have felt alone, different, especially in regards to the types of conversations I enjoy. The mundane, everyday talk bores me...I can do it but hope that I can somehow turn it into a more meaningful conversation. In the recent days I have felt even more disconnected from people; especially friends at work. I have found myself going to lunch by myself and avoiding the small talk. I also have lost track or interest on doing the everyday things like, go the bank, pay bills, call back people who have called me. I don't know---does this all mean something in regards to ascension and awakening or can it just be a sympton of depression. When you think about it a lot of what we speak of is quite depressing. I have also become sick...some kind of stomach virus...not feeling too good all together, anyone out there who can relate????

[dolphin]

IRVING...hey i can completely relate. i'm a painter, moved to nyc to "make it" but feel very little motivation, when i look at the big picture. funny how i can't seem to meet people in person who resonnate the same. yes, mindless conversation just bores me and i used to socialize and go out a lot, but now all i want to do, is learn about other worlds and spend a lot of time reading info on the web.

i was sick a while back and can recommend a medical intuitive. she's really incredible. i know this sounds out there but she will muscle test you over the phone and your body will tell her what is wrong. based on that she puts you on a diet w homeopathic and supplements. she "cured" me when i had given up hope going to western doctors. and she's not expensive. Her name is Dr. Denice Moffat and she has a very informative website: www.naturalhealthtechniques.com. all of her contact info is there. good luck and keep your chin up!

you might also read, Louis Haye's book called You Can Heal your life. much about emotional spiritual root cause of illness.

[skatardude10]

I am feeling totally left out of the game right now and have been for a while... It is really disappointing. I will try my best to elaborate, and I would love all your thoughts on how to get back into it...

A few months ago I had been finding out more and more about everything, space/time, just, all the situations that are happening and the energy flowing inside me was insane... Even visually insane, I would wave my arms and see beams of sinusoidal light trailing, the visualizations of aliens, people waking up, the dreams were beyond lifelike and in many ways still are but it seems like the energy has COMPLETELY died off and now, in my town everything seems to be doing fine, gas prices are down, everyone has jobs, there are plenty of jobs open yet I am still looking for a job... But unlike a couple months ago when I was living in Florida, up here in Virginia everything is back to normal like it has always been, superficial... and most of the people around me are telling me to "take a break" from the "heavy thinking" and just "stop it for 6 months or so and settle in" referring to ANYTHING that is out of the line of society's superficial nonsense. If I take any political ideas ANY bit beyond what is presented in the mainstream news the people around me get depressed, anxious, angry, and emotional... even though what I am saying is not much different, just a bit broader spect than what they are used to.

It's just like, it seems like life is now FORCING me to settle into a superficial work 9-5 every day kind of lifestyle without any expansion... and Everything's fine! But what sucks the most is that it's getting harder and harder every day to envision anything ever changing... Before the energy flowing and the excitement was like, I can't wait! I love the world and Wow! But now, it's almost like there is a major part of me that doesn't want it to change... and I feel completely disconnected from everything you guys are saying and there hasn't been nearly any energy flowing, yet I still feel extremely disconnected from society... it's almost like I don't want ANYTHING to happen... Nothing... like, I want it all to end. I want some inspiration but unlike before it's like now I doubt I can even have any inspiration because I just cant visualize anything inspiring me I feel so disconnected from everything.

With that said, my dreams have slowly been getting weirder and more cynical, like last night I had a weird dream that some delivery truck guy was wheeling a bunch of old board games up to our house to give it to us for some reason, and while wheeling it up someone "Jacked" his truck, drove it down the street and a family member went out and a decapitated head flew through the window and took off his head... and everything just was weird and nasty and dark, and other dreams where there were tons of people working around warehouses / 7-11 for extremely low pay... and everything was extremely dilapidated... I don't like this type of visualization...

Any help, any suggestions, any way to get back inspiration would be GREATLY appreciated...

p.s... I have been trying alot lately to focus on the positive side of things... maybe since I have stopped paying attention to the negative things I have offset the balance so I am now subconsciously manifesting the negative to balance things out? What do I do? Consciously focus on positive and let negativity flow? Or consciously focus on the negative and let positivity inspirations flow? It's so confusing. I apologize for ranting, this game is crazy and I pray I don't miss any critical moments and am ready when the time is right.

[skatardude10]

Nevermind... I guess I just want things to happen! After watching the huge 7000 mile long radiation thing on google earth on the eve of the 14th... I can't wait to see and feel like something is bound to happen! :-)

Mods may delete my posts.

[joet1980]

Just gonna put my 2 cents in that I have never felt worse in my life than this point in time. I have lost all hope in anything.

[sylph16]

My mom always told me, i was a lost soul....that is when she had time too...i am the oldest of 7....

I grew up poor, i was always and will ever be a day-dreamer, a sky-watcher and searching for myself. I LOVE animals and all of nature, i dream of flying on the wings of the hawks that live on the land we live on...

When i was 4, i asked my mother when the ship was coming back for me...she told my father what i said. When i went to bed that night there was a lit picture of Jesus hanging on the wall...his eyes followed my every move...shortly after the picture was hung on the wall in my room...the little men showed up in the closet...they would peek at me through the slightly open door, eyes glowing...and huge grins with lots of teeth adorned their faces....my brother would hide under his bed...

Strangely, i can't remember much more of my early childhood...where did the memories go?

To make a long story short, i made quite a specticle of myself until i lost my energy, i was convinced i would rather burn out then fade away...the last 5 years have changed my life...i finally realized, even though all always knew, something/everything is out of whack....especially me...i grew up just in time.

I am very grateful for this forum and all of you...i feel blessed to have been led to Kerry and Bill....i know i will be ok....and so will you...after all i firmly believe in the 6 degrees of seperation theory and I KNOW we are ALL connected...I am, we should be in bliss about that!

peace

sylph

[Reveling John]

Well here we go again, go to bed, get up, do the daily grind;

Help i want to get off!!!!

Me, too.

Sometimes I wonder if none of this is happening. I mean, I look for phenomena and changes and synchronicities.....well, I find it, but is it there because I'm looking for it?

Probably, but does that make it less real? Don't know.

Don't really know what 'real' is. Ultimately I am just as emotion driven and blind to my destination as most other human beings. I do know that Love is a constant catalyst for me. I love that word and I love that feeling and I love telling people how important it is.

When I'm talking about Love it all sounds REAL.

[Reveling John]

This thread is totally awesome.

I've been surely having a hard time as of lately but have been trying to enjoy every second of the mystery unfold......

Dude, right now I just want to hug you.

Not out of pity or any BS like that. I feel you on so many of those topics. I'm in relatively good health and my closest friends are much more awake than most people out there, but I am certainly feeling alone and afraid alot of the time. And all of those other issues you brought up....

Well, man, you got a friend here. Name's John, nice to meet you, Irving.

It gonna be alright. It IS alright. That's what I keep tell myself and most of the time... I'm happy, like you, just a big contradictory set of emotions.

Great Love,
John

[merkabagirl]

Gee I can't believe I'm hearing all this! I've been experiencing extreme growing difficulty in doing simple tasks ... groceries, cooking, cleaning, driving, relating to 'other-minded' folk ... I put it off to being the fact that I've been off work due to disability for 5 years and figured I was just losing my 'edge' ... or my mind! I feel in an altered state almost continuously this past 2 weeks and it has been an ongoing process. I half-sleep for 4 hours and recite mantra for a few ... difficulty with simple communication, simple thought sequences ... very isolated/lonely but also very elevated at the same time. I too have often felt I was crying the tears of the whole planet ... of mama earth ... cleansing tears ... healing waters ... taking on this pain so that it could be transformed into lovelight ...

[Reveling John]

This particular thread seems like it could use a chat room. From what I've read, it seems to draw a rather mature crowd and people I would enjoy having a "real-time" conversation with. Does anyone else think that's a good idea?

I'm not to much of a chat fan, myself, but if there are others out there who have their regular chat locations, please let us know where we can find you. Would love to sit down with a glass of wine and listen to banter between yall, as we spin-up lofty dreams such as these....

[MAP]

here is a free chat http://home.gabbly.com/

put in any URL to any site and a pop up window will come up to the right

works on any site
FREE

[Reveling John]

So if this thread has value for you, give it a good rating :thumb_yello:

5 stars is hardly enough to reflect what is going on here!:naughty:

If you folks are looking for some good listening time, check out my man:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLFSz5zCs5o&feature=PlayList&p=6AABE0B01C7AD5C6&index=0&playnext=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynYWyQDJOHQ&feature=PlayList&p=420F6417BF17D36F&index=0&playnext=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QP6lCGOWdk&feature=PlayList&p=E76C507285E6DD24&index=0&playnext=1


I can listen to this brother all day long...and sometimes I do:lmfao:

I really am looking forward to some responses on that chat possibility and I have an idea for a possible location-- Second Life (http://secondlife.com/). This may be a worthy adventure...

Great Love,
John

[burgundia]

I guess I could say that I belong in this group. I don't like talking about trivial things, I don't like spending time with people who do not know what is really going on around the world. Suddenly I started feeling so detached from them, their everyday problems. I want this world to be different, I'm waiting for some kind of change, any change. I'm trying to find the true aim of my life and I think that it is searching for GOD.Now I've begun to think that perhaps everything I do is an attempt to understand HIM/HER better. I'm looking for a deeper meaning in everything and the materialistic reality often causes discomfort in my soul.