View Full Version : Book of Gregor
10-28-2008, 04:29 AM
So my recently acquainted friend Allie was wishing I shared some of my story, to why I am right here, right now. Hopefully, it can be somewhat enlightening for those who read it, and stress the importance of one's personal experience in the unraveling of the veil. For the moment, I'm going to convey everything up through high school in Part I, and the rest from thereafter. I'll hopefully have Part II hammered out by tomorrow, and will include the negative catalyst influences in my life while living in Florida. Part III will consist of my more mystical experiences, most exclusively my dreams of revelation. Part IV will focus more on the this summer into the advent of Avalon. And Part V will focus on specifically the moment at hand (the one and only true moment hehe) and whats to come from there on. Enjoy!
Book of Gregor - Part I "The Early Years"
It all started a little over twenty three years ago. I was born in Green Bay, Wisconsin on September 12th, 1985. I am a Virgo, but of even more importance with the Mayan calendar, I was the road, or the human. My archetype conveyed me as the master of destiny, one who influences free will. My challenge power/archetype (one which challenges you) is that of the wind, or communication. This will make some sense later on.
Two years after my birth, we moved to Portland, Maine. My mother gave birth to my brother, Christopher. Chris and I had a very typical brotherly relationship growing up. However, we were certainly different personality wise. I always said, "Chris is quantitative, and I am qualitative." I remember the first time I got caught lying, where I hit Chris when I was five years old, and my father confronted me. Those first integral lessons for me were always ingrained so vividly in my memory. To elaborate on that, I was blessed with a photographic memory with my heavily reinforced visual personality. I could visualize anything in my head at a very young age with incredible detail, and to this day can recall a large portion of my life up until the first few months we moved to Maine.
We grew up in the residential suburbs in an old farm house, considered to be one of the very first houses in the area and built in the 19th century. My brother and I were lucky enough to go to a wonderful elementary school that offered free swimming lessons every week and was full of wonderful programs.
My early years started off hard for me. I was diagnosed with an auditory processing disorder and had a hard time learning to communicate. I really didn't start speaking until I was five. In first grade, I was requiring special attention in my school work and was in the lowest levels for reading and math. Once I fully began to overcome my language barrier, I was in the gifted and talented program by 4th grade, and in the highest levels for math and reading. I excelled at art and was well recognized for my creativity, having mastered origami before the basics of the English language.
I also am a perfect example of an ADD kid. I was tested once, but their diagnosis for verbatim, "You are too intelligence to have ADD." Every negative trait my mom has ever harassed me on was a characteristic of ADD. However, I eventually realized this was by far one of my greatest strengths.
As a child, I was obsessed with the unknown: Bigfoot, Stonehenge, the pyramids, the Incans and Mayans, and most overall, Atlantis. I started collecting crystals and gems by the hundreds as a child, and fully utilize that same collection today. I was intrigued by everything and every adult seemed to realize this almost immediately with me. However, one of my greatest obsessions was dinosaurs.
Dinosaurs, may seem unrelated to the esoteric things I just mentioned, but was very influential for me. As a young kid, a began sketching dinosaurs with amazing detail. On my 8th birthday, my dad gave me an audio book: Dinotopia: A Land Apart From Time. That night, I laid in my bed and began to listen to it. I was so intrigued I stayed up until midnight listening to the whole four hours, the latest I had ever stayed up! Eventually, I discovered that the tapes were based off an illustrated book by James Gurney, which of course I got my hands on rather quickly. You could say this book is my bible, and my life dreams stemmed out of it. The book was full of elaborate and beautiful oil paintings of dinosaurs, humans, architecture, and nature all within one scene. The two main characters represented two definite archetypes within my own personality along with representing a philosophical masterpiece. The story line conveyed the idea of a utopia, with a sequel following it conveying the society had evolved out of the remnants of Atlantis. The idea how machines could be powered by crystals in the story amazed me. This was the dynamite for my mind that absolutely catapulted my curiosity and passions to a whole new level.
As a child though, I was the runt in the group. I was the introvert among the extroverts who always got picked on. When I reached middle school, it was one of the worst years ever for me. I was ridiculed on a school wide level, and overwhelmed me on a horrific level at times.
However, in that same year, is when I fully grasped beauty for the first time in the form of a thought. For school, we were suppose to read The Giver. I can't say I ever read a book so fast in my life up to that point. I remember reading the last page laying on my stomach on a couch and I couldn't hold back the tears. The story was one of the first of many that touched me on a deep inner level. For the rest of my life, the only fiction that would ever truly captivate me were other philosophical pieces. As I got older, even movies were dull for me. Comedies weren't even a consideration. The Beach, Equilibrium, V for Vendetta, Waking Life, and other enlightening films I would watch over and over again. The only fiction I thirsted for were pieces that provoked my thought. Entertainment for me was in the form of nourishing my curiosities.
Throughout middle school, I excelled on the math team, and continued to slip away more and more from sports, specifically soccer. I was a rather clumsy kid. In seventh grade, my family moved to an outlaying town of Portland, Scarborough. A couple years earlier, my little brother Alex was born, and the house was just not big enough for the five of us. Scarborough was a heavily focused middle class community that seemed to deter me socially even more. My parents had moved to Maine on absolutely nothing, but within the following decade had established themselves quite well financially. My father was a professor of political science at a state university, while my mother was a nurse at the city's hospital. Their intellectual background most certainly reflected upon my own self.
Right around the time of the move, I developed a knee disorder which stemmed out of my other leg problems. I had been pigeon toed my whole life (which I slowly grew out of, and only affects me on a minimal level today) and been plagued with leg pains since a child. Soon, shin splints also began to take hold. Soccer was no more. Alas, this pushed me more toward my intellectual pursuits. In eighth grade, I won first place at the Maine State Math Meet. This for the most part was quite the ego booster.
Then the infamous high school came to be. I remember the night before the first day of school. I was all excited and couldn't get to sleep at all. Come to think of it, it happened the exact same way with middle school. Something new and exciting I thought; a whole new world to explore. I was sure right about one thing.
High school is what really got me thinking for the first time, especially what we like to call "outside the box." The first day, I met the one person I consider a brother outside my family, Andy. He was half Jamaican, half French Canadian, and was quite the wise ass. We were both for the most part "*******s" to each other that first day. If only we knew what we were destined for together down the road. Freshman year was the worst of my being ridiculed during high school but it never left the town per say until a couple years after graduation.
My first little side story to my life involved the end of my freshman year, as I began to see the "********" in society for the first time, and that was within our student elections for sophomore year. I remembered exactly what happened at the beginning of the year with the freshman election, along with myself previously running before in other elections. I had no interest in running this time, but decided to support you could say the 3rd party candidate for the presidency. In this, I reported what was going on and posted in a flashy website on the web. I handed out the address to it all over school for people to see and read. Within a couple hours, I was in the principal's office threatened to be sued by him for slander, as I quoted him saying a rather negative and incriminating statement to the 3rd party candidate. Oh, was it great. I ended up submitting due to parental pressure and took the site down, and all ended well for the most part. And yes, as the story tends to go, the popular kid won.
Oh sophomore year, this was THE year. I had joined the Academic Decathlon team freshman year, thinking it would be more of a challenge than the math team as it encompassed all studies, not just math. Sophomore year I managed to make it on to the nine member competing team, the youngest in history to compete at our school. That year I focused heavily on physics and art history. I also had never taken a physics class prior to this. We ended up winning states, and going to nationals in Phoenix, Arizona where I won 3rd in the U.S. for physics (competing against almost all seniors, who had taken physics classes not to mention). I also had one of my first love affairs with a girl from a team from Park City, Utah, and no, she was not a mormon. She was one of the most open girls I had ever met, both mentally and physically. I still talk to her to this day.
Around new years this year, I had my first few drinks. Oh no, you all know what's coming next. Within a month, I had became completely "****faced" for the first time. And in due time, I smoked my first bowl. Gregor had discovered marijuana. Marijuana has played a very interesting part in my life, as it may have for you too. It definitely did promote some laziness and detract from my motivation at times, as I eventually left the Academic Decathlon team the next year, but it was the catalyst for dramatic change in my life. I began to develop socially at a very accelerated rate. The extrovert side of me began to take shape.
High school was riddled with crazy experiences from car crashes and police encounters to girls and stupid fist fights. We all had our fair share and is for the most part similar (if you went to a rural suburban high school that is), so I'll leave it out.
However, during high school, another important catalyst for me yet again is another psychedelic: Psilocybin mushrooms. I will admit I've had easily over twenty plus experiences of mushrooms in my life. Some purely recreational, some extremely eye opening and life changing. It was in this inebriated state though when I first started thinking outside of the box to an insane level and contemplating my own ideas of philosophy, cosmology, and even quantum physics.
One of these experiences has stood out like no other. During the 'trip' when I was 16, for two hours, my friends had lost contact with me as I sat on a couch and talked to myself, or so I am told. Leading up to this two hour period, I began shifting in and out of time. This is when I first began to contemplate cosmology and quantum physics, even though I don't know how I was even going about it, but I was. And as some of you may know, that's just how it works. However, once I so called figured it out in my head how time works and to overcome it, I suddenly put it into effect. We had just finishing smoking a joint at the time, and all of sudden, Butterfly effect style, I got pulled through time. I felt like my body being ripped into pieces, sucked into a vortex and spit back out. I was sitting on the couch, like I was before, but my friend was rolling a joint again, in which we then smoked. Bam, it happened again and I was pulled back through time. My friend was rolling the joint again, however, I wasn't realizing it, as if my memory was erased each time with the time travel. Several times this happened as I was caught in this time loop (however, what better time loop could you ask for then smoking a joint with your buddies). Finally, I realized what was happening part way through while smoking the joint, and bam, I got pulled back in time to the same point again. Each time thereafter I'd remember, but as soon as I did, I'd start the time loop again with the memory veil imposed, but each sequence getting shorter and shorter. Eventually, the veil was no more, and the sequences consisted of seconds, to the point where I was just trapped in the vortex. Then poof, I was out. I was free to continue on with the timeline as is. The question I always asked myself, did I really time travel? Because regardless of the drugs, my perspective would have to say yes, as that's what I experienced.
Soon following this incident, which really only occurred over a short period of time (as in I had experienced much more than the allotted time allowed), I entered this so called two hour period where I lost contact, or entered a full blown hallucination. It began with my friend sitting across the couch responding to one of my thoughts. This freaked me out, and I responded in my head, "How the hell did you just do that?" Of course, he responded to this freaking me out even more. We began conversing with me just thinking, and him responding verbally. He then informed me, "You are god." Of course, I responded to stop messing with me, I'm not god. However, he insisted and then went on to explain that I chose to incarnate on this world and leave my godly existence, and that we've been trying to get a hold of you for a very long time now. He then said this is my reality and I can create anything in it. Of course, I went on to have some fun with the 'trip,' having the radio play whatever I wanted. When I asked my friend, or this entity in him, that I wanted to see Paris, he said, "Uh eh, it doesn't work like that." For the most part, that is the only serious revelations/information that stuck with me from this experience. I remember snapping out of it, and having my friends looking all at me. They then said, "Greg, man you've been out of it for the past two hours." However, with this experience initially, I just thought it was a crazy drug induced trip, nothing more.
These experiences as I said brought me into a different world of thinking, and really furthered my interests in trying to understand the big picture at large.
10-28-2008, 05:10 AM
We all have interesting stories as to why we are here at this forum, don't we? :original:
10-28-2008, 08:44 AM
Thanks for opening up. It is tough to bare all to strangers. I respect you and your candor.
10-28-2008, 12:57 PM
Looking forward to part II:original:
10-28-2008, 01:11 PM
sounds like good smoke, I get that all the time, but its usually when i'm on magic mushrooms. Good story, we are all God,
10-28-2008, 01:43 PM
, , , and you are blowing the whistle on , , , yourself?
Just curious. :original:
Good God, Gregor, (excuse the pun) you are younger than my youngest son, that makes me feel very old. My husband the disbeliever on anything he cannot eat, touch and see is also a Virgo. Mmmmmh.
As a mother I advise you to not tell your mother - because as a mother I wouldn't be happy with you smoking all that stuff - whether it expands your brain cells or your mind or whatever else it expands.
No more other stuff please, they might be toadstools.:shocked:
10-28-2008, 02:50 PM
Good God, Gregor, (excuse the pun) you are younger than my youngest son, that makes me feel very old. My husband the disbeliever on anything he cannot eat, touch and see is also a Virgo. Mmmmmh.
As a mother I advise you to not tell your mother - because as a mother I wouldn't be happy with you smoking all that stuff - whether it expands your brain cells or your mind or whatever else it expands.
No more other stuff please, they might be toadstools.:shocked:
Hehe, I smoked with my mom a few days ago. She's a very open minded person, just a bit of a control freak. Even revealed to me once where you find magic mushrooms everywhere in this valley in Mexico. I'll explain my position on psychedelics later in my piece, and their significance as a catalyst. I actually plan on having my mother read this piece after I am done. I recently 'came out of the closet' to her about me doing Reiki, thinking she would laugh it off. She was very supportive of it actually. Including with hearing my successes in remote viewing. She also teaches a class at a private university too. I lucked out with my parents :D Everyone says I'm gonna end up just like my parents in a college classroom. I do love to influence. I prefer to say call it to inspire.
Thank you everyone for your support. I honestly didn't think I'd get more than a response or two. However, just wait, better things are to come :)
I posted in whistle blower testimony, as the subtitle to it fit best with my piece (messages of truth/revealing what you know). If I just told you my dreams, it could be taken out of context. Think of how David Wilcock presented himself in the Project Camelot interview. We're trying to share our perspective, just not the facts.
10-28-2008, 03:26 PM
:original: :winksmiley02: :thumb_yello:
10-28-2008, 05:23 PM
Part II - "Down on South"
After high school, I moved to Orlando, Florida to go to a technical school called Full Sail Real World Education. I went there for computer animation, as for the past five years I had become involved a fair amount in graphic design and 3D graphics. I lived in an apartment with another Mainer, who was going to another program at the same school. Our mothers worked together at the hospital.
This period was a very interesting time in my life. As my life back in Scarborough was very active socially, along with being a full time party animal, I was all of sudden in a stagnant social situation. The majority of the students at my school for more or less were 'geeks'. I really try to refrain from using terms that have negative terms even though the phrase has been more accepted as the numbers have been growing across the board: The Rise of the Video Gamers.
I was once a video gamer. I loved games, always had. I was much more of a fan of strategy and thinking games. However, as high school came to an end, a drifted a fair amount from the entertainment platform and realized how much time was wasted in such a thing. Everyone, I mean EVERYONE, at my school went to class each day, then went home and played video games. Specifically, World of Warcraft. Many of us are probably quite familiar how this game "eats peoples souls." I refused to give in. I made a few friends, but the relationships never went past going to the movies or grabbing food together. It involved more me talking, while they shot things and yelled threw a microphone at some person in Singapore.
This didn't work out so well for me. So what happened? I spent a bunch of time in isolation, reverting back to my introverted persona and consistent self-reflection of thought. Philosophical concepts began manifesting in my head, without the influence of any drugs or books. The thoughts were coming from a deep hidden voice inside me. And luckily, I began to transcribe this intangible notions on to paper for the first time too:
Gregor's First Piece of Written Philosophy - February 2005
Your priest told you there is a god. Your teacher told you that protons, neutrons, and electrons form everything. That an almanac told you over a billion people live directly beneath you on the other side of the planet. That your tv tells you that your country fights for freedom. That your friend says they'll always be there for you. The funny thing about life is, no matter what people tell you, no matter what you read, you never really know the truth. That it could all just be a lie? Sadly enough, the only thing that you know speaks truth, is yourself. Only your own experiences encompass your true reality. Otherwise, the existance of the world outside your own completely relies on faith, and faith alone. As far as im concerned, Jay Leno's chin is a snap on.
This 'era' in my life when I began to realize it was not an artist or a physicist that I was truly destined for, no, I was to be a philosopher. I realized this was the most integral thing to this 'existence' of mine.
Several months before I moved to Florida, I began to get severe stomach pains, where I almost felt like collapsing on the spot, and would have to lay down until the went away. They coincided almost always after eating a meal.
I visited a doctor who ran some tests thinking it may be an ulcer. Everything gave back negative, and I was told for verbatim again (as I felt it was incorrect diagnosis), "Lay off the drugs and alcohol, Greg." Right before moving to Florida, I saw another doctor as my symptoms were growing worse. I had been losing weight as I had been eating less. The doctor told me the exact same thing, but prescribed me a medication to help repair the stomach wall. I knew it was not the case, something was telling me it was different. The next few months I developed all the symptoms of anorexia, and ate mainly things like yogurt and apple sauce. It was some of the only things that could go down smooth for me. Things continued to grow worse for me, having more of these "acid attacks" as I called them, sometimes completely crippling me.
In February, my mother flew me home so I could see a specialist. They stuck a camera down my throat, and discovered a had Gastroparysis, or paralysis of the stomach, a very serious and uncommon disorder. A third of the muscle in my stomach was dead, and it was spreading. The paralysis had started to also spread up my esophagus allowing stomach acid to easily come up into my throat and mouth. I had begun to notice right before this waking up with sore throats in the morning.
The doctors realized all they need to do was double my dosage of my current prescription. My earlier lower dosage was only slowing down the spread of the paralysis.
I returned home, but my insurance company denied the new medication dosage, and I wasn't able to get any medicine at all. In less than a week of not taking any of my medication, I collapsed into serious pain, and had to withdraw from school. The medication was too expensive without the insurance companies, and they just kept putting us on. I developed strep throat right at this same time, and retreated on my on with no one to take care of me in my apartment in Florida. I was in hell.
After several days of this 'hell', the insurance company finally approved me for the new dosage, and almost immediately I began feeling better. Within a month, my symptoms were a thing of the past. However, I soon found out form the dentist I had twelve cavities, and each one was caused by stomach acid. The experience had created a large sense of distrust in the way society functions, especially the medical field.
Since I had taken two months off from school, I began working with a friend doing event rental work, setting up big party tents along with other associated event functions. And for some reason, the work began to grow on me. Maybe it was the travel, and the exercise that enticed me. I really never figured that one out, but I liked it. Overall, it was a completely new experience for me.
The day I was suppose to go back to school, I was laying in my bed staring at the ceiling that morning. It then occurred to me: What the hell am I doing with my life? It made no sense. Working in an office making graphics for some Hollywood feature just did not seem justifiable for a person of my means. I needed to experience the world! Later that day I went to school and withdrew.
I soon moved out of the apartment and into a house with a couple friends, the ones I had been working with. The main reason for this move was my dog. Here is the story in which I previously wrote about my dog, my Max, and how for some mysterious reason my best friend came into my life:
The Story of Max - March 2005
So many of you who have met me, have probably been jumped on at least once by the infamous Maximus Decimus, more commonly known as Max. Well, besides Max being the **** of ****s (pun intended), most people have always wondered how did I end up with a 65 pound dog at the age of 19.
It all started one somewhat warm (as this is Orlando folks) February night, when I was drinking at my friend Junior's apartment who lived downstairs from me with several friends. A few of my friends who lived in another apartment a ways down showed up with their two pitbulls and this mutt trailing behind. All of us were like "Whose dog is that?"
Well, my friend Dave explained, that the guy in the complex who has the beagle, had found seen him laying on this knoll next to a SunTrust bank I believe, off of 436 south of the 408. Well, on their way back home they passed the bank again and the dog hadn't moved at all.
The couple, who owned the beagle, pulled over and discovered he had no tags so they brought the dog with them in there car as he seemed pretty friendly. They brought him back to their apartment, and he was a little hard to keep in the apartment with their beagle so they just let him outside to play with my friends pitts, which he was getting perfectly along with. Dave, then said, he was calling the dog pound for him.
Soon enough, everyone seemed to of grown fond of the dog as he was very playful and friendly, not to mention a cutie.
And to make the hook line and sinker, the moment that changed moments, this girl Jenna, who I must say was quite the hottie, and who I happened to have this little crush on, even though she was taken, was like, "Oh Greg, you should keep him. I know you've been wanting a dog for a while."
At first, I was like no way, it's not happening, but then I started the play around with the idea in my head then I was like, "Hey, let's see if I can take him off the guy's hand, so he doesn't have problems with his Beagle." We soon also realized he was neutered and Florida law is neutered dogs automatically get an ID chip put in them.
I went off and talked to the guy with the beagle. He said it was fine, and he hadn't called the dog pound yet.
He was mine! At the moment at least. So, we all came up with the name Gary for him, since some how I had snagged that nickname recently for some unknown reason, and we all thought it would be funny.
Well, that night "Gary" slept on my bed with me but I soon realized he was a dirt machine. So, the next day I gave him a bath and made him all nice and pretty.
Several days later, I brought him to the vet and got the chip scanned. He had a chip, as I thought, bummer :( They called in the ID to this chip company service thingy majig. It turned out they hadn't filled in the information for the chip, so the only information on the ID profile was where the dog was neutered, so the company was going to have to do some searching.
I went home with the dog and after a couple hours I got a phone call from the company, and said they had found a valid work number, and got a hold of a coworker who said they would be back at a certain time. They gave me the number to call them.
So, the moment of truth, even though there didn't seem like much hope. I was at least thinking it was a fun few days with this random dog. After a little bit, I called the number, just hoping something wasn't right.
I asked for the person, and they went and got him.
"Umm... Hello, I have your dog."
"My dog. I don't have a dog."
"A orange/brown colored kind of dog. A big one. His ID chip says he's yours."
"No way. He disappeared three months ago!"
And then the man filled me in on the rest of the story.
Gary's name was Max, and was actually his fiancee's dog and had runaway around Christmas and was only five months old at the time. They honestly thought he was dead. He told me he was going to get a hold of her, and then have her call me.
After about twenty minutes, she called me, and was absolutely shocked, and then baffled on the phone what to do. She mentioned how she was pregnant and didn't know how she was going to take care of a dog now as if she was talking to herself. So, I jumped in without thinking, "You know he is a really great dog, and I like him a lot, if you want me to take him off your hands, I"ll gladly keep him." And she most certainly agreed.
And with that, I came to befriend one of the greatest pals I have ever had.
I really wanted to share this story, as my dog had found me, and not vice versa. I had never ever planned on getting a dog. I cannot express how much I love to come home to him.
The new house though wasn't working so well with my new roommates, and things fell through really quick. I had the house to just me and Max. My friend Andy, who I had mentioned earlier, wanted to really get out of Maine, so he moved down to Orlando to come live with us. I flew home to Maine, and drove down with him in his Chevy Blazer. When we were driving through Georgia, my boss calls me up just as Katrina was making landfall in New Orleans: "Greg, the trucks are loaded to go, we're leaving right now. You're in charge of Florida. Tell your friend he's hired."
That week, me and Andy each clocked in 98 hours doing hurricane work for FEMA and Florida Power and Light in Miami. It was by far the most chaotic week in my life to this date. I remember the first night in Miami, where we were so behind schedule, and it was three in the morning, both of us severely fatigued. I was panicking because I did not know how we were going to get everything done, and people were relying on us. It was one of the worst panic attacks I have ever had, mainly stemming out of the amount of responsibility on a 19 year old (well twenty next week). Andy then said to me, "Greg, there's nothing you can do. We've done our best, but if we want to be of anymore help, we need to get some sleep, and just pick up where we left in the morning." I smiled, and that was that.
For the next six months, Andy and I worked for my boss who owned the company which had two locations in upstate New York, and one in Orlando. I was basically a crew chief taking out crews of sometimes up to fifteen people (hired temporary labor, who we use to call 'crackheads' for obvious reasons). It was a very frustrating but enlightening experience for me. We did weddings, celebrity parties, and even had the contract with all the events at NASA which included the launches. I had a relationship with a girl for the most part could be considered your typical materialistic Florida blond that really wasn't going anywhere.
In February, Bush cut NASA's budget significantly, which directly canceled all the events scheduled for NASA that month. Being that was the majority of our work that month, we had less than ten hours of work. My boss basically had to let us go. Andy and I both got jobs at a Mexican restaurant, with him as a cook, and me as a server, just like we had done back in Maine.
From the large amount of money I acquired from doing all the hurricane work this Fall, I bought a 2002 Acura RSX Type S. A car that is way too fast and maneuverable for someone my age, but alas a necessity in Floridian society. This car ended up testing my materialistic tendencies, and was a catalyst for this realization of the implications of materialism. However, I began to grow obsessed with racing, and I was good, too good. I began to gain a flawless record, handling the car at 120 plus on Florida's five lane highways, weaving in and out while usually racing Latinos. My friends were scared ****less by the way I drove, but soon grew to respect me for my skills. In response to this, I no longer race or even drive, as I wish to never ever relapse into this addictive and dangerous behavior. As I myself along with my friends say, "I am lucky to still be alive."
It was in this period that I got sucked into the Florida drug scene rather heavily. We had a couple move in with us who we had become well acquainted with, and in due time they were 'dealing' out of our house, mainly cocaine and ecstasy. The first month I developed my first 'true' addiction. Andy and I were no so fond of their chosen profession as it involved our residence. So when we came home from work, they would just feed us lines of coke to keep us content. In about a month, Andy refused to do anymore and was getting very frustrated with the situation. In a couple weeks, I joined the band wagon, cut the habit, and in a short matter of time, they were out of the house as it was the only foreseeable answer.
In this period, I also discovered ecstasy. I had tried it a year earlier with some friends, had a good time, but for the most part, I really didn't 'roll'. I had no real interest in doing it again. My Florida friends really pushed for me to give it another chance, and come 'rave' with them.
My whole life I had loved to dance. I was the only guy at high school parties you could catch moving to the music, and I was usually labeled as 'gay' for that reason. So one day we decided to have a 'blow up party'. And with that, it was history. The mix of trance and house music with this new mind blowing psychedelic threw me into world like no other, for the most part, for the better. I began having these blow up parties every other week, and became obsessed with glowsticks (Oh, the glowsticks).
Around March of 2006, I had a rather serious encounter with Florida's infamous police. I had spent a day in jail, and was being charged with a second degree felony for fleeing and eluding, along with five other criminal misdemeanors. I was looking at 10-15 years in jail. This in itself is a long story, but I was not running from the cops. You can say I am a better driver than the cops and managed to lose them while racing. When they caught up to me is when I first realized their presence and I pulled over thinking I was getting a speeding ticket. Boy, was I wrong. The legal dispute lasted nine months, but luckily the prosecutor believed my position and we never had to even go to court. He knew the two youthful cops were 'power tripping,' and let me go with a $1000 fine for the felony (which was reduced to a misdemeanor), and dropped the other charges.
When the lease ran up on the house, Andy and I decided to move back to Maine, and leave this 'disease of a state'. The pending case of mine was a big influence upon this decision too. However, back in Maine I grew a yearning for the rave scene, and decided to start practicing my glow strings. Glow strings are taking glowsticks and attaching them to shoe strings and spinning them around. It's more traditionally known as poi, or glow poi. That summer in Maine I practiced and practiced this new art, turning it into an obsession. I went to a few raves that summer, and 'showed off' my new skills. Subliminally, I wanted to go back to Florida. I needed this lifestyle of the rave scene back in my daily life. I had managed to get a DUI (OUI, operating under the influence, in Maine as we call them, due to the excessive problem with drunken snowmobile riders in our state) while driving home from a party one night, basically because I was showing off with my car yet again.
Andy and I decided to move back to Florida and found another house, moving into it December of 2006 along with our friend Joe, who was one of my ex's good friends in Florida. I went to a community college for the Spring semester (as I still had Florida residency) along with Andy and I working at the same restaurant again. And alas, I got pulled ever more into the rave scene.
There was a night in January that stood out like no other. I was rolling at a club, the largest in Central Florida, high as a kite. Paul Oakenfold, a famous DJ from Britain, was spinning live and there were over a 1,000 people in the crowd. My friend was a paid performer there as a fire dancer. I was backstage after he came off from a performance and suggested I should go out and do some glow sticks, insisting I was good enough. Up to this point, I had only performed in front of no more than a small group at a rave party and have had stage fright my entire life. I argued with him for a moment as he continued to insist. He pushed me on stage, and there I was standing in front of everyone, completely unwilling. Everyone's eyes were set on me. I didn't know what to do. I walked to the center of the stage with my glow strings by my side as the panic built up in me. Ten seconds goes by, and everyone is still staring at me. And then a voice appears in my head, "God damnit Greg, just dance!" Fifteen minutes past, and the my friend shouts from the side of the stage, "Hey Greg, ya gotta come off. You've been on too long." For one of the first times in my life, I fell in love with the moment.
From that point on, I practiced and practiced and practiced. I began performing regularly at the club, along elsewhere throughout the state and couldn't get enough of it. This alternative dance was my new found love, as it now had other implications for my ego: I could show people I was 'something' and someone special.
However, in this period of my life, I also made some serious irresponsible decisions. It led to me going to Miami on a whim to attend the Ultra Music Festival, a rave of 70,000 people in downtown Miami. The three days in Miami was a very enlightening but horrific experience at the same time. The last night, I thought I was 'ODing' as a result of a panic attack induced by my so called friends leaving me to fend on my own in Miami. My cell phone was dead, and I was left with only $28. To cut things short, along with some of the emotional trauma involved, I would never want to relive such an experience again. I managed to get hold of another friend in Miami that next morning, and got back to Orlando okay. I felt I learned a serious lesson while down there. I felt this was the low point in my life, and everything thereafter seemed to get better. And it all started with a dream.
10-29-2008, 12:38 AM
Part III - "Uncovering the Veil"
Around February 2007, I lost my license in Florida. Florida basically found out about my DUI in Maine via me reapplying for a new driver's license ID card. A kid had stolen my wallet out of my own house. For a long time, I considered this one of the worst things to ever happen to me and so much could of been prevented if I hadn't of gotten my wallet stolen that night. I might not of realized it, but it sure was a blessing in disguise.
Coupled with my trip to Miami, things seemed to be going downhill for me. Andy and I were definitely drifting away as friends, morphing more into your typical roommate relationship of this day and age. He was not a fan of my 'raver' lifestyle, or my group of friends that I associated within it. I ended up have to walk a bunch of time, sometimes larges distances up to five plus miles in 95 degree weather. Any positive friendship I had with anyone seemed to be just disintegrating away. I considered my life to be an absolute wreck with no direction or resolution. I had hit rock bottom.
One night, I was dreaming of a scene that was reliving the movie I had watched the night before. At first, it was a very typical dream with nothing really unique about it. It was as if I was in a giant paintball game with Battle of the Bulge as the scenario. I ran around one corner in the dream with my Thompson in hand, and as I came around the corner, everything transitioned instantly before me.
I was all of sudden in a very lucid and vivid state (and this was by no means the first time), and I realized I was in an extraordinary place. I was standing upon the edge of a platform that had several sets of stairs. To my left were columns set upon the edge lined up in order. It appeared to me I was in some kind of Greek temple, however, as my memory served me, they usually were marble and white. These columns were red with an intricate style decoration at the top of them in green and yellow in color. I gazed in front of me and I was looking into a valley bordering the sea. The temple I was standing in was on top of a very large hill, facing a city in front of me. In the center of the city was a large multileveled structure, with tons of smaller buildings surrounding it. A little past the city, the urban area opened up into greenery again until one could notice the presence of a harbor on the sea. The sun was setting upon the sea and gave me a large sense of the Mediterranean. The feeling was dead on in terms of the relevant area. The bay was filled full of small fishing vessels, but nothing large such as a tireame (archaic Mediterranean warship). I looked more to my left, up the coast, and saw how the coast jutted out into the ocean to a point, a peninsula most likely. I followed the mountain range that went along the coast (The hill I was on you could say was apart of it), and stared at the valley in between the coast and the hills. I noticed a bunch of farm land, and could see ever small scattered settlements directly along the coast, perhaps small fishing villages. I gazed back at the city, and stared straight at the heart of it as if straining my eyes to get a better look. I was in absolute amazement at the clarity of the view, and focused on the smoke rising out of the chimney. I start to look to my right and noticed how the hills cut off the valley and went straight to the coast, most likely forming cliffs.
"Ring, ring!" My cell phone wakes me up. I answer it, and in frustration I basically hang up after an exchange of a few words with a friend, actually the ex-roommate I've mine from my first house. I lay in bed puzzling over the beautiful fifteen seconds I had just witnessed. "Where the hell did that view come from?"
About a month passed, and I ended up staying after my art history class to talk with the teacher one day. I told her about the dream, and if she had any information to maybe point me in the right direction. I felt like a moron for asking such a thing, but she was very courteous and also interested herself. She informed me that the Minoans might be a people I should look into. She also noted that the columns may have been white marble, but they usually end up painting them.
That night I hopped onto the internet, and typed in Minoan on good ole Wikipedia. Before this point, all I knew of the Minoans was that they were a civilization that predated the Greeks on the island of Crete, and that the name was derived from the myth of King Minos and his infamous Labyrinth of the Minotaur. I was browsing through the lengthy article, and started reading about the palace of Knossos. I clicked on the link for Knossos, and read further about the palace. As I scrolled down, my heart stopped for a second as my eyes fell upon a picture. I clicked on it to see an enlarged picture. It was a recreation of the columns at the palace of Knossos. It was the exact style in my dreams. This was the catalyst to pursue the historical truth in my dream to the ends of the Earth.
For the next two weeks, whenever I wasn't working or going to school, I researched the subject heavily for hours on end. I discovered on Crete, the Minoans had peak sanctuaries all over the island. There were temples that overlooked the cities and villages on the island, so that where ever you were on the island, you could look up and be remembered of the presence of the gods. I eventually found a website that was researching the peak sanctuaries in the archeological aspect. They had 360 degree view pictures of each location so one could see what areas the sanctuaries overlooked. I ended up starting to go through each interactive picture set one by one.
Then I cam across one where the picture started with its view inland to the mountain ranges. I scrolled the image and by the time I had 'turned around' facing the coast, I stopped in amazement. It was the exact view from my dream, overlooking the palace city of Malia. I soon discovered Malia was one of five palace cities on Crete, and the only one in which the palace was located in the center of the city versus on the outskirts of it. It was one of two palace cities where the harbor was too shallow for large vessels such as for trade and military purposes, and was only used by fishing vessels. And to top if off, the landscape matched perfectly with everything in my dream.
My dream had revealed to me a location in time that existed anywhere between 1700-1600 BC during the Minoan presence in Crete. I then seriously began to question the ramifications of this, along with the notion of: Was this a past life of mine?
From this point on, my view toward reality dramatically changed. I decided to start pursuing my childhood obsession of Atlantis, going back to my root gut feelings as a kid. Within this research, I began to find holes in the history of mankind that just didn't add up. I had begun to journey down the infamous 'rabbit hole' and breaking the chains of Plato's 'cave'.
I decided to see if their were any documentaries or clips online regarding Atlantis on the internet. I typed "Atlantis" on Google Video and the first result at the top of the list was a lecture given by the one 'Michael Tsarion'. His work opened my eyes to a whole new perspective in human history. "Wait, a minute." I thought. "There are other views out there completely different from mainstream history." I was intrigued on a level like no other and had to pursue this new found curiosity.
Last summer, I had been exposed to the 9/11 truth movement. For a short period, I got pulled into it, with at one point becoming very passionate about it. In this same time frame, I began to catch mainstream news such as CNN and MSNBC in lies, inaccurate reporting. It made me begin to question, why is the government and mainstream media deceiving us? I really couldn't put it together at first, but has my suspicions none the less. However, I soon mingled my way after this back into normal societal patterns, and considered the movement for the most part to be a lost cause.
Toward the beginning of summer, things began to really fall apart in Florida for me, and my luck was by no means on my side. A quick resolution to my answer was to move back home with the parents. I left Florida for the most on bad terms with Joe and Andy, and a short matter of time, I lost all contact with them. I thought it was the end of those relationships for good.
When I came back to Maine, the only thing I thought I had going for me was my skills in glow strings. However, my friends thought, as they had always thought with anything in reference to the rave scene, was for the most part 'stupid' and that I was a beanhead (One who has done to much ecstasy). After several of the same encounters with my friends back home on this issue, I was determined to prove them wrong. I began tinkering in my garage and within a couple days, I had made so homemade fire poi. I was going to spin fire and show them up. And that is exactly what happened.
Within a couple weeks, I had acquired a real professional set of fire poi, and began having some real fun. In due time, I was performing in downtown Portland, Maine that summer, setting out a hat and making money. I managed to meet some other fire spinners right off the bat, and we formed the Molotov Fire Cirkus together. We began performing throughout the state, along with performing on a weekly basis in Portland. I new perspective had opened up for me, as many before had in previous years (the evolution of one's understanding of reality).
Sometime that August, we were performing downtown, and a couple came and joined us. One of them, Amanda, was from Boston and was also a fire dancer. Her and I hit off big time that night, and she began to tell me about an event twice a year in Connecticut called 'Wildfire'. It was a four day closed door festival of just fire performers, no one else. The festival involved 11 hours of classes, 12 hours of nightly performances, and all the food in the world you could eat. However, the tickets were already sold out yet Amanda was able to get me one last second.
That fall at the festival was one of most eye opening experiences in my life. Not only we doing what I loved all day long with people on the same level, but I witnessed the beauty of humanity. I was in a four day utopia of kindness and compassion that I've never experienced before. One could say it was a bunch of hippies. However, a bunch of these hippies were either going to or already graduated from prestigious schools in Boston like MIT, Harvard, and Boston University. I was surrounded by a new type of intellect that I had never knew existed.
In the fall, I also enrolled in the state university my dad works at, the University of Southern Maine. The main reason being I went there is I got half off the admission. I soon decided to major in Classical Humanities with a focus on French and Latin. My ultimate goal at hand was to study the ancient scriptures of the world in their inherent language. I was planning on moving onto a masters in archeology from there on. Ideally, I wanted to set myself up to travel the world.
I continued to read into the conspiracy theories of the world along with other fringe subjects of society, but I'd fall in and out of say the materialistic life and the pursuit of knowledge.
In December, I began to read about etheric energy under the surname "qi" (as there are many other names for it out there such as reiki, torsion, & chi). I read an exercise written by a thirteen year old in Asia about the different uses of it, and most importantly how to unlock it. Several of the implications I began to read about made me think it was absolutely preposterous. During my creative writing class that week, I was filled with boredom, so I decided what the heck. I am going to focus on my hand. For some strange reason, I decided to focus on the center of my left hand, when I'm right handed and use my right hand for everything. For twenty minutes, I focused on the center of my hand as the teacher droned on with the lecture.
Then something happened. I began to feel this new and unique sensation in the center of my hand. My mind began to scurry with excitement but at the same time a sense of fear remained. "What is this?" I wondered. "Are you serious Greg, you're just imagining it. Snap out of it." But the feeling grew, and grew, to the point of where my hand almost felt on fire. I hand begun to unlock my hand chakras.
Then in February of 2008, I sat down at a bar in which I was a regular at overhearing the conversation of the two people next to me. Their talk caught my interest so I joined in for a second and threw in my two cents. When the lady left, I continued on the conversation with the man about our dreams and goals in life.
I began to mention my life long dream of sailing around the world, and the means in how I was actually going to go about it. The man, Keith, stopped me in my tracks and says, "You wrote about this on Craigslist?"
"Excuse me?" I responded. We soon made the connection that he read a post of mine on Craigslist that was the equivalent of three typed pages on my idea of how to sail around the world, live on a sailboat, and actually succeed in it financially. I was interested in looking for anyone who wanted to jump on board with my plan, no pun intended.
He informs me that he read the entire piece but does not no why he replied to it. Mainly because he thought he was too old for such an odyssey. Anyways, he was thoroughly impressed in how I wrote the piece and how I presented my idea, with the ultimate goal of finding Atlantis. We ended up talking for the next three hours at the bar with each other. I soon began to realize he knew much more than your average person about Atlantis. Heck, he knew more than your average person ten fold. The man was a genius. We ended discussing philosophy and ideas of creation and cosmology, especially pertaining to the ancient astronaut theory.
By the end of the night, when we were both thoroughly intoxicated, I asked him a question I've always wanted to ask deep down but never knew who to ask it to: "This may sound weird, but would you be my mentor?" Hardly did I know, it was the starting of a wonderful and beautiful relationship.
The next day, he sent me an e-mail with a bunch of things to read and check out on the web. One of them being the infamous "Zeitgeist" documentary but of even more importance to me, a six hour lecture by the Mayan cosmologist Ian Lungold. This lecture to this day is the single greatest presentation of information that has ever influenced me. I sat down and watched the entire lecture in one day not wanting the flow of information to stop. My mind was just sucking it up bit by bit.
I wanted more.
Keith had also exposed me to Project Camelot, a collection of interviews that had been collected, mainly from whistle blowers from the world arena. Not only did the interviews open my eyes to some different aspects about society and reality, it opened the door for many other realms of information to go explore such as that of David Wilcock, someone I felt I resonated with rather deeply. Each of these individuals had only a small piece of the puzzle, but each story branched out to even more pieces of the puzzle. The information was becoming exponential in volume. I always loved summing up this notion with the phrase, "The more you learn, the more you realize that the less you know."
Around March, exactly a year from my previous dream described, I had another dream of immense stature and importance to me, except this one had much more to it in depth. It started out like a normal dream at first, as most do, with me sitting in the back seat of my mom's black Honda CRV with her driving, something reminiscent of when I was younger (as I tend to ride in the front if I'm with her). I was resting my elbow on the window with my hand under my chin staring out in a bored fashion. We seemed to be traveling on a highway, reminding me of the ups and downs of Boston's freeway, home of the notorious 'Big Dig'. I remember watching a few people as we passed by, specifically someone I made eye contact with on the side of the road. We pulled into the main entrance way of her hospital in Portland (as dreams work like that) where the ER is. Shes pulls over to the side and tells me to park the car as she has to run in quickly.
I hop out of the car and join my two friends out of no where who are standing on the side of the road. The three of us were standing there in a row looking at the hospital chatting it up, Jay and Silent Bob style. During our conversation, an Indian appears across the street. It is the exact same person who had contacted me a month earlier on a social networking site out of the blue. He was a yogi from India, and was one of the few people I had ever conversed with on the internet outside the U.S. up until that point. He was a practitioner of Kundalini Yoga.
He holds out his hand, and a device materializes in it out of thin air. In the dream, for some reason I thought it was a Game Boy, but after analyzing the dream in a waking state, I realized it was by no means a Game Boy. He then tells me that I need to come with him as it's of dire importance. I agree without hesitation, say good bye to my friends, and tell the yogi I need to park my mom's car first.
This is a very strange part of the dream that really sticks out and I've never been able to figure it out metaphorically. Instead of getting into the car, I cross the street to where there's a small park in absolute pristine nature. The park is full of women with their babies and children. You could say the scene is straight out of George Suerat's pointillist masterpiece of the Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jette. I start making my way through the park tip-toeing in between the women and their picnic blankets. At one point, I got too close and I began to wake a baby. I saw it's face swell up and turn red as it burst into tears. I apologized to the lady several times over very sincerely and went on my way. I made it back to the car where everyone was still standing, hopped into the driver's seat, literally did only a U-turn and parked on the other side of the street. All in all, it was the weirdest parking job ever.
I then followed the yogi around the corner in which everything transitioned almost immediately as we entered a dining room. The room was straight out of a perfect stereotypical country home. You could see out the window to my left of rolling hills of wheat with the blue sky. You could say this one fits into the works of Andrew Wyeth [A note on this to think about, is these are some of my favorite artists of mine too, and relating that notion to the painting scene in the movie 'What Dreams May Come', which is one of my all time favorites]. The room had baby blue wallpaper with your typical country style trim and furniture. However, there was no dining room table in the center but instead there were a group of chairs in a circle. Sitting in those chairs were a group of luminous, white robed figures. They looked like they were straight out of the movie Lord of the Rings seeming almost translucent but radiating light at the same time. I would have to assume that their were twelve of them, as that is what my gut feeling says. So one can then assume there were fourteen chairs. The yogi and I each took our seats.
The beings began addressing me, and then asked question after question to me. The weird thing is, the whole dream was very vivid and real. I was conscientiously thinking the whole way through and remembered almost every little bit, but during this questioning session, I remember absolutely nothing. It's like the words were empty of meaning. Only the moment in my head remains. Toward the end of the questioning, my memory becomes quite clear again. They asked me if I had any abilities as of yet? I replied that I can make an energy ball with my hands and immediately followed the statement with a demonstration by facing my palms toward each other.
My assumption for the next part had to either do with the presence of these entities or the plane of existence I was on, as the energy available to me was much greater than anything I have ever experienced before. My hands felt like they burst into flames, and a ball of light began to grow quickly between my hands. I was unable to break the attachment between my hands and the ball of energy. I fell out of the chair with a sense unlike pain but very similar. I was laying on my side as the energy finally began to dissipate as I broke the connection between my hands.
As I lay on the ground, I heard the 'elders' say I was not ready and that I needed proper training. They began to all get up and leave. As I got to my feet, one remained and began talking to the yogi directly. I walked up to them standing slightly off to the side listening to their conversation.
I then heard one of them say, I don't remember which one, "He is the reincarnation of..." Then a list of names came forth, many over, and many I can't even recollect as in my opinion, they were by no means human. However, two names I did catch that had human roots: Al-Sahad something, and the second to last name was Zeus. No other phrases of human understanding presided or followed the word. Just Zeus.
After this, they told me to follow them, and we left through another door in the room, that would of been to the right of the entrance. As soon as we walked through the door, again the landscape immediately transitions. We were standing on a platform inside a giant temple complex. I have debated this within myself for much time but the architecture was a blend of both Aztec and Mayan architecture, neither one specifically. The rectangular platform had a ceiling over, with two pillars in the far corners of it. There were a set of stairs in front of us, probably a set of ten, that continued onto a straight pathway that went off into the far distance. The pathway was bordered by green grass with giant pillars following along it. However, these pillars held up nothing and stood as solitary decorative posts. The pillars were located halfway between the path and the wall, then bordering the other side of the grass. The wall was as high as the pillars, probably around thirty feet, but as said before, there was no supporting roof, only sky above. The corridor with the pathway and walls stretched on for a fair distance, but I could see the end. It seemed like it stretched at least a quarter mile, if not more. To our right though, there was an opening with an extension of the platform.
We walked toward this opening instead of descending down the steps and their was a side gallery to the corridor. The gallery was a completely empty rectangular room with high walls and no ceiling. There was grass on the ground, but I did not see any steps going down into it, just that the platform bordered a small section of the room. There may have been more but I didn't have much time to look as I began to hear yelling off in the distance.
We were almost to the edge of this gallery when we turned around in response to the noise. About six to eight men came storming through the entrance we just came through. Now the best way I can describe these men is that they looked like they were straight out of the Alien movie series. They were soldiers all right, but definitely mercenaries in appearance as they all had their own unique look. They were sporting what looked like futuristic armor that was bulky, metallic, and worn down. They were all jacked and carrying large looking futuristic rifles. Something straight out of science fiction. I was really confused here at this point, and don't know if their weapons were pointed at us, but they immediately began to approach us.
Moments later, another group of men looking the exact same in appearance, but probably around a dozen of them this time, came through the door. The other men turned around, and they all had their weapons pointed at each other in a stand off. At this point there was a ton of screaming and yelling. I was in a borderline panic attack in my dream, not knowing what the hell to think. After after fifteen seconds of this chaos, they all quieted down and lowered them weapons walking toward each other. I breathed a sigh of relief and then woke up.
First thing I did was I began to write down this dream, and then I laid there in my bed in absolute awe and even more in confusion with what just happened. I had never even before seen a gun in my dream let alone half the things I saw before that point. This dream for me was truly unique and began to sink in in how important it may be.
I began to research Zeus from this point on, and discovered that the myth of Zeus first originated from Crete (not Greece) under the name Zeus Kretagenes. He was considered by the Minoans to be first true king of Crete, uniting the island together under one kingdom. There is also a myth that Zeus had to be raised in a cave his entire childhood to be kept in hiding from his father, as he wished to kill his son. His father had no interest in ever giving up his thrown and power. That cave is fifty miles south of the palace city Malia, which I spoke of earlier. Zeus was later defied by the Cretes, and was said that he was resurrected each year, as with many tales.
This of course got me thinking in reference to David Wilcock's Edgar Cayce connections. I have two brothers, as did Zeus. Chris who I called quantitative earlier was born materialistic in every way shape and form, since he was a little kid, being notorious for lying and manipulation (He's a good kid though, he really is). He fits in perfect with the Hades archetype. Even in my class today, we were discussing how Zeus, well Jupiter as it was in reference to the Aeneid, is the master of destiny and overlooks all to keep the Fates in check. Zeus is also represented by the eagle. My spirit animal for sometime I have felt is some kind of bird of prey, a raptor. I am just not sure what one.
And another interesting thing, is my closest friends in my life, outside Andy who I have mentioned, are all females and they seem to fit into specific archetypes of the Greek gods. Even though that may be stretching it, one of my best friends since seventh grade, well, her name is Athena.
I rarely shared this information with anyone, as the few experiences I did, it was not taken lightly by those. Since this spring, I never even mentioned it again to anyone until this very week. The same week I had this dream I also came across a channeled message from a well respected psychic in Japan. Supposedly, she had channeled a message from Zeus himself, and was one of the weirdest feelings I have ever had while reading this message. What stuck out even more is the message said Zeus lived on Earth 3,600 years ago, or 1,600 BC, the time of Malia. I have also found this date with another source since then, but haven't been able to directly find they acquired that date. It also said he delegates philosophy and art in heaven, which I consider two of three greatest strengths, the third being mathematics. However, on a daily basis I regularly engage in my artwork and philosophical writings over anything else.
The message (http://eng.lmr.cc/m_Zeus1.html) focused on the awakening of others and within your own self, and that message to understand is very simple it put forth.
Regardless of the implications of what this may all be, the synchronicities for my own self were absolutely over whelming and mind blowing. I didn't know how to cope with such things. At times I began to feel crazy. Hell, I'm questioning it in the back of my mind everyday. Writing this piece about myself helps to clear the notion of sanity for me with the point being, do not ever deny your own personal experience. It is your life you are living and you're in control.
With this idea in mind, along with the message from Zeus, I had to react someway with the outside world. My whole life I had this nagging intuition in the back of my head saying, "Hey Greg, somethings not right here, things aren't adding up. You need to figure it out." And yes, at points in seemed to bring on insanity. But then the philosophical truths within me would stand there grounds. I knew what was right and what was wrong. The way this society functioned was wrong. I knew this since a little kid. I needed to connect with others, and see if anyone could begin to grasp my ideas about reality. At first, I just wanted people to believe in what I was saying. I soon realized all the problems such a notion can cause, especially among free will. I realized my ultimate goal at hand was to inspire people to make them think on their own; to break their chains of society, step aside for a second, and take a look at the big picture. For it wasn't in a belief that could make them see truth because that's not how it worked with me. It was personal life experiences that opened my eyes.
10-29-2008, 12:52 AM
How could you leave it hanging at 'the dream' bit?:original:
By the way - being a Brit myself, I don't understand all the acronyms - what's a DUI?:original:
By the way - being a Brit myself, I don't understand all the acronyms - what's a DUI?:original:
Driving Under the Influence...
10-29-2008, 01:13 AM
I love how what's a dui? is sitting right next to the happy face haha.
And that's why you have to read Part III, it's the best part! And I had to take a break somewhere. I've spent like six hours writing all that so far haha. Part IV and V are going to be shorter, and less important in terms of you guys reading, and more important for others. I realized this is something I can share with people to understand where I'm coming from, and that I'm just not some nut hehe.
DUI - drunk under the influence. I am gonna have to get another cup of coffee Gregor to get through that dissertation.
10-29-2008, 01:20 AM
Hey another thing, thanks for everyone whos reading it. It's of mutual respect, as I just checked in under 24 hours I've typed out 18 pages worth of writing. Dear god, lol. Part I and II for the most part is to understand the context of Part III. Enjoy!
I'm also 'coming out of the closet' on my signature hehe.
10-29-2008, 01:24 AM
Yes, quite a feat of synchronicity to have a happy face there:original:
I once worked for the American forces overseas (in West Germany) and sometimes, there were some complete car crashes language-wise between me and the American girls:original:
There are words you use quite happily that shock us - and vice versa:original:
I had to be taken to one side and spoken to quietly because I kept asking the other girls in the office if I could borrow a rubber. Apparently, you call it an eraser:lol3:
10-29-2008, 01:25 AM
I had to be taken to one side and spoken to quietly because I kept asking the other girls in the office if I could borrow a rubber. Apparently, you call it an eraser:lol3:
10-29-2008, 01:27 AM
OK - now you've really got me.What does that mean?:original:
10-29-2008, 01:31 AM
"Laughing My Fu**ing Ass Off" : )
or "G" rated:
"Laughing My Flaming **** Off"
Great Stuff, Gregor!
Looking forward to IV and V
And Allie... Hi, how are You?
Ya just can't get the same protection from an eraser, HaHa : )
10-29-2008, 01:44 AM
Ah....yes, LMFAO was something that happened to me frequently when I worked in Germany:original:
10-29-2008, 01:51 AM
Does the name Kurt Lazaro mean anything to you? Just curious.
10-29-2008, 01:56 AM
Does the name Kurt Lazaro mean anything to you? Just curious.
If that's being directed toward me, then no, the name doesn't ring a bell.
10-30-2008, 02:15 AM
Part IV - "Leaving the Cave"
As the school year ended that Spring, I began spending much more of my time reading and researching material, turning more and more into a hermit, locking myself away from society. The more I seemed to learn, the less I felt I could connect to society. I was drifting away from my family and friends. Bouts of sanity started, and my mind seemed to be going in all directions. I really didn't know what to think anymore. Anytime I seemed to touch alcohol in this period, I would never be able to have more than a few drinks, because I would always feel the anger come over me. My true emotions would come out, and they seemed to always be so chaotic and scary.
The past several years I had been developing intellectually by the most means, with the traditional understanding of intelligence referring to knowledge. However, the analytical part of my mind was most dominant. Over the past year, poi had developed me physically, helping me reconnect with my body for the first time since a kid. And for the most part, I was socially developed. I say for the most part, as I get 'lost' in conversation sometimes. It's just the way my brain works with all the [thought] tangents bombarding me all the time (as of lately though, it happens pretty rarely).
However, for long time I had been emotionally sheltered. My relationships with girls were bland at most and never seemed to go anywhere. My parents weren't the most emotionally comforting, neither were my friends. There was Binney though. I will note Binney is her childhood nickname and likes to be called Kathryn now, as she'll probably be reading this at some point. I met Binney the first day I moved to Scarborough and we had an on and off relationship as friends throughout high school. We were from two different social groups at the time, and you all don't need me to elaborate on that social structure.
She had moved to Florida also after high school and lived only a half hour north of me, which we eventually figured out one day online through good old instant messaging, right after I had moved into to my first house. We started hanging out again for the first time in a couple years. Binney and I had a lot of late nights up talking about pretty open minded topics, most specifically spiritually. At times we'd systematically tackle the subject together, and others we'd compare and to each others experiences.
Binney helped me develop the emotional side of me, through thought and experience. This side to me is what some would refer to as the "heart chakra." There are several other key friendships I've had with girls (I Just discussed this with my friend next to me, and she agrees the term 'girls' works here :p).
I just came to a realization in that if I proceed further, I need to bring my good friend 'Infinity' on board. Some people will just call this 'math' or others 'logic' or 'deductive reasoning'. Words are of little importance here. I've taken seven years of French up to now without a huge success. A year of Latin did go much better here. The rare chance where you get to meet a 'true' teacher and shows their passion with their word, and knows how to bring life into something old and forgotten. School was plagued with repetition for me, and tended to teach me more about human behavior then college accredited knowledge. Before I continue to go off on this stray tangent of emotional outburst (oh, the irony), I must get back to my point: Good ole (note the number three here) mathematical theory.
Maybe this can clarify some ideas as I wrote it earlier this week:
It's a sad thing if one thinks they can't find 'truths' within one own self. Almost all my philosophical concepts I have developed on my own completely outside of other influences. I wrote a paper that is for the most part identical to Plato's allegory of the cave, before I even knew it existed. 2500 years apart, and developing the exact same thoughts about 'universal truths' then god damnit that has to be some serious universal truths! Here's a lesson people in universal truth. If you were born, and thrown into a jail cell from birth with no reference material (ie holy books) and able to figure something out without any outside influences, like here's a rat, oh and there's another rat, a little bit fatter, but still another rat. OMG wait, that's two rats! Then there you go, that's a universal truth. And thus, the two rat void the fat concept was born!
I hope a was able to connect you to this notion in an abstract way, because in it's essence, it is an abstract concept. So first one needs to accept the intrinsic nature of math, and well, vice versa. They are one in the same. That is something that words cannot 'prove' to you, as the numbers easy do that themselves. So lets break down infinity to the number line. This can then be broken down further into let's say positive, negative, and zero. Zero is what one would consider balance and harmony. The polarity aspects of life [positive and negative] can be found all across the board. A common aspect of this in nature, and not exclusively biological nature, is that of the sexes. And easier way to reference the broader scope of this at hand is the masculine and feminine energies. A basic understanding of balancing these energies (ie male + female = 0) can be seen in why we seek relationships. These energies are not predetermined necessarily by biology, but are an influence. And well, these energies exist within each of us, just at different levels. My close relationships with girls in my life truly helped develop this side of me.
So back to Binney. :)
Anyways, come towards the end of the school year we started hangout again on a regular basis as her stay in Florida had only lasted less than six months [and moved back home thereafter]. Binney would come over usually sometime in the late evening, after hanging out with her girls and getting out of work being she was a waitress.
I want to stay here on the record. Binney, wait... Kathryn is one of the beautiful and honest persons I have ever met. However, she has always seems to be plagued with the consistent bad luck. And I've never felt she has deserved any of it. Something I've had a hard time understanding why and wished it wasn't so. I am not going to dive into this any further.
Binney helped bring some faith you could say for me back into society, pull me out of his hermit head thinking. I was learning to balance myself, and function as a more productive person on every level.
Technically, we're still at the end of last spring (2008). But at the end of last spring, I went to another Wildfire. This time my experience was just as eye opening in terms of discovering myself as I continued to learn from these unique experiences [but of common lessons]. I had drove down to Connecticut this time, with a fire spinner who lived north of me in Bangor and had been seeing on and off that fall. Our lives at the moment [along with the distance] made it more into an occasional but rather enjoyable relationship. In the Spring, we ended up not seeing each other for awhile. We had continued to try to make plans in the winter into the spring, but for the most part, the snow kept us apart. Portland had the most snowfall on record that winter, as the snow was reaching the tops of people's roofs throughout Maine.
I was really excited to see her, and go to the festival with her. However, I had a hard time expressing my emotions during the beginning of the trip you could say. I basically sent her the wrong vibes. That first night at Wildfire I could feel that our flame wouldn't be rekindled. I believe she hooked up with someone that night (along with sorta standing me up that night too, but no hard feelings as I still think she's a wonderful bright person). Anyways, that night I was in the tent by myself rather frustrated and tried to meditate (I'm not sure if I said I started to meditate on a regular basis I'm probably going to have to rearrange this piece, but I'm missing some serious points/changes in my life right before my 'council of elders' dream. Mainly to do with my experiences trying to meditate on a daily basis. Keyword trying, but nonetheless successful.). It was one of the hardest times ever for meditating for me up to that point, the emotions were overwhelming at points, but slowly I worked through the 'layers' in a short period of time and was able to get to sleep that night.
That morning, I wanted to meditate for a much longer time, as last night really only calmed me down at the moment. I wanted to work through the situation in a positive means and have a straight rational heard for this coming day. It was around seven in the morning when I got up. There was no one awake for myself, or so it seemed. I got my stuff together, and went to the main field area with the dining hall. I found a big boulder rock overlooking the lake, and lit a giant (I mean giant! It lasted for over four hours!) piece of incense and sat down to meditate. I noticed someone else over at the lake practicing what it looked like to be Tai Chi. All he was wearing was a pair of Thai pants. I then entered one of the greatest meditative experiences of my life.
Forty-five minutes later I opened my eyes feeling completely refreshed and ready for an absolutely exhilarating day. As I jumped off the stone, the man who was practicing Tai Chi had finished himself as was walking up the hill toward me.
He came up to me and offered his hand out introducing himself as 'Tim'. He immediately wanted to apologize for his remarks toward me to a conversation we had online on a discussion board. For the most part, it was a complete miscommunication with each other, and we both realized this. We immediately ended getting into deep conversation right after that, and it led to one off the greatest fifteen minute discussions I've ever had.
Someone who at one point had become very angry at, was now someone I was enjoyed a very intellectually stimulating conversation with. We both easily realized we had a 'moment' with each other. For the rest of the festival, we continued to have conversations on and off, along with myself taking his "The Tao of Poi" class.
At lunch, I ended up eating outside with a group of people I was somewhat familiar with, but got into conversation with them no problem at all. People were very open on all levels with discussion. It was an atmosphere full of positivity and friendliness. No one was by means shy. Just like Abby.
Everyone got up at the table almost at once, and these were two eight ten foot long picnic tables pushed together. I was sitting on the end of one.
After everyone gets up, I hear "Where you from in Maine?"
I look at the other end of this table, and there's this cute girl smiling at me. "Outside of Portland, in Scarborough." I responded. It turned out she has family there, and we began talking. After a few sentences, I moved down to her end, and we started talking face to face. From that moment on, the rest was magic.
The next few days with this girl was speechless. I felt like I had completely transcended into another world of absolute bliss. My day had started out from going from depressing **** to pure joy.
After the festival, I continued to see Abby almost on a weekly basis, as I would take the bus or train down to Boston to see her. She was a student at Boston University. We resonated extremely well with each other, but alas like most things, it was short lived. Knowledge can sometimes hurt. But what can come from it, is so much beautiful. Thank you Abby for that.
The summer came as I spent most of my time performing, mainly doing solo shows as the circus had fallen apart. I had picked up mainly various performing arts to extend and build upon my act: Fire staff, fire breathing, and contact juggling (David Bowie in 'Labyrinth' ring a bell?). They were things I mostly had picked up last fall at Wildfire, even though I had started fooling around with a staff a little bit before then that August [of 2007].
I'd usually perform Friday nights in downtown Portland in a stone park. I'd start after sunset, usually sometime after eight, and go for up to two hours, sometimes longer. Performing by myself had one big advantage, as I was making over forty dollars an hour at times in cash. With the circus, we'd split the earnings all evenly. It would really tire me out, and I usually would retreat back home to pass out, but it was working me out like nothing you could believe.
The first few days of August I went to my third BelTek, an art and music festival in Central Maine, usually more commonly referred to as a rave. This time it was much bigger than the previous years, almost twice the attendance, totaling over 1,200 people from all over New England. Previously, it usually consisted of mostly Mainers and I could say the vibes were much more positive then. College students from Massachuetts and New York seemed to definitely change the 'feel' of the festival that year.
However, I was on the flyer that had been handed out for the past several months, and was the main visual performance. My performances were of an absolute phenomenal nature. I was thoroughly impressed with myself and pride of my work. I have not gotten so many 'thank yous' from people that night which I greatly prefer over 'the idolizing of my skills'. I want to share the beauty of the moment, nothing more.
This was the first time at a festival where I remained for the most part sober. I smoked a little herb and had some wine, but didn't touch any of the stronger psychedelics. I had to take in account performing with fire in extremely large groups [of very inebriated people], but [the now common theme of usually] being broke came into most effect with the sobriety.
This allowed me to see a different side of humanity, positive and negative. It definitely made me appreciate and respect psychedelics much much more for what they were, and how to appropriately use them. I had grown the understanding over the past few years in how important they are to be treated as tools, in the view of learning and enjoyment, but not within a purely recreational perspective. As I had for myself in the past, people were primarily using them as an 'escape' from the realm of mundane society. I saw very few if any any 'light bulbs' going off in the ravers and trippers, before, during, and after their experience. The old philosophy from high school of "getting f-ed up" still existed through the majority of people. It seemed like I was on my own in my unique perspective. I still had sometime to realize patience with my fellow members of humanity, along with respect and understanding for the way things were.
Right around the same time, I started an art gallery with a co-op of artists. My works I have displayed so far in it consist only of my photography. Up to this point, I have shared very little of my artistic side besides several short references to it. In seventh grade, I discovered my passion for wildlife photography in capturing unique perspectives of nature. As of just recently, I realized my use of balance and implementing phi (the golden ratio) into my works is why my work stood out with a lot of people. I loved doing macro photography, getting pictures of the small yet intricate world around us. I took a particular interest with spiders and their webs. This summer I got my hands on my first true digital SLR (photo quality was still great with my old work), a Nikon D60. A started to drift toward a new subject manner, and do to the amount of rain we had this summer (one of the wettest also on record), I began mushroom hunting a bunch.
In Florida a few years ago, I had started to go mushroom hunting in cow fields for obvious reasons. I grew to love the hunt, even though I rarely had any luck. In the process though, mycology (the study of fungi) began to really interest me.
In Maine, there were hallucinogenic mushrooms, but as I soon realized they were pretty rare (except for Amanita Muscaria, but that's another story for another day). I did discover that there were many different species of edible mushrooms, along with beautiful but deadly mushrooms scattered around. The small but serious intent of danger was there which I thrived on, just like my days of racing. However, I approached the matter in a very responsible and logical fashion. As you can see, I am still alive to this day with no ill side effects ever experienced (and was worth every bite of yummy juiciness). That summer, I took over a thousand pictures of mushrooms and fungi alone, with an estimated three hundred different species. On the last day of August, I had an art show at a local wine bar [where I was a regular at and had met Keith]. My main exhibit were photographs of Maine fungi. I also had other pieces of art media along with much more wildlife photography from throughout the years. I even released my first book at it. A fifty plus page book of my artwork and philosophical writings mixed together called "If Time is an Illusion... (http://troubledeye.com/stuff/IfTimeIsAnIllusion_WebVersion.pdf)". However, due to printing problems, I didn't have any solid copies (I've been trying to resolve that actually as of lately in getting a bunch made. Hopefully, I can maybe add this piece too to the printing press.). The work stayed up for the entire month of September, and overall my exhibit was a huge success in terms of appreciation. But to our now ailing economy, I managed to sell only one piece of work.
A couple nights before this, I had a most unusual and wonderful experience with yet another girl. Since the full moon in the end of July, many strange things had started to happen in my life, but for the most part in a completely positive aspects (I ended up getting into quite a few discussions with people up to even weeks after this 'full moon' who had something interesting and peculiar with the day, and half the time I wasn't even the first to mention it). There was an overwhelming amount of synchronicities that were happening throughout each and every day. As soon as you began to recognize them, you couldn't help but notice how integral they were to your daily life. I began meeting an many different types of people in a very interconnected and spontaneous type a way. My social patterns had seemed to of been dramatically accelerated, especially in terms of the positive and meaningful relationships that I was making. The same went for figuring out who I was in relation to the world. I began to realize the inherent 'interconnectedness' of reality. With this new philosophy to look out upon things, September catapulted me into a crusade never undertaken by me within the mind. I was 'waking up' to the true nature of reality.
...Part V to come tomorrow most likely, and will focus on the present moment and the potential paths to come. Thanks for reading!
10-30-2008, 02:51 PM
The luminous white-robed men .....when I've tried to describe them I've used the terms 'biblical-looking', and/or 'a bit like the ancient Greeks':original:
My nickname - given by a couple of my social groups is 'Athena':lol3:
10-30-2008, 08:30 PM
Part V - "Synchronicity within the Moment"
Within in the realm of mathematics, one would begin to notice patterns, relations between numbers and functions. The emergence of constants become fundamental with the understanding such as with pi and phi. For numbers are by no means about the symbol and which they represent, because on they're on they are essentially nothing. It is about the relation of these numbers to each other. Learning your multipication table and factors are one of the most important things you can ever learn about with mathematics.
In math, there are very important concepts which can be shown almost entirely which decimal parity. Decimal parity is taking a number and reducing it to its base number, anywhere from 1-9. Zero is technically not considered a number, but lack or absence of a number. For example, let's take the lovely date of 2012: 2+0+1+2 = 5. You also continue to reduce the number when the first answer isn't a simple 1 digit number as with 48: 4 + 8 = 12, 1 + 2 = 3. When one does this fashion with the entire positive spectrum of a number line a dominant pattern emerges, and branches out to many other patterns. This is also proves that the base-10 system is in fact natural. The reason being that all multiples of nine, equal nine when reduced with decimal parity. 9 = 9, 18 = 1 + 8 = 9, 27 = 2 + 7 = 9, 36 = 3 + 6 = 9, and so on for the rest of infinity! All multiples of ten, continue the forward progression with decimal parity by +1 (ten is one, twenty is two, and so on...).
Now with this notion, all mathematics are numbers are intrinsically interconnected in this natural pattern. Especially things like prime numbers and even the divine constants.
To take this even a larger step further, if we live in a mathematical existence, where patterns and similarities naturally exist and are intrinsically interrelated, then so is the tangible and physical side of reality.
To some, this may seem like a brash statement, but I need implore its truth trough deductive reasoning, THERE ARE NO COINCIDENCES IN THIS REALITY! Thus we proceed onto the discussion of synchronicity and its further role in my life.
And right now I am laughing so friggin hard I cannot express myself as the time is 3:43. Life is indeed perfect. I'll continue then with the discussion I wished to start at this very moment (and the first time I have ever wrote down this story). The first time I ever noticed a coincidence, correction synchronicity, in my life and actually thought about it was when I was seven years old. The number 343 began appearing everywhere in my life. What sealed the deal was when I had this little McDonald's today and on the bottom of it was the number 343, nothing else. I was asking myself why am I seeing this number everywhere? I came to the conclusion that this was my lucky number, and it has been for the rest of my life, continuing to appear over and over again. Another number that began to appear also in my life was 37, and I took this as my backup or secondary lucky number at around the exact same age. Also, keep this number in mind as it's important down the road, along with being it's a prime number.
The usual 'debunker' argument to this notion is that because it's in your mainframe of perspective, you will just notice it more as these numbers exist everywhere. It is a legit argument but I beg to differ. One must take into place the mathematical concept of statistics as it is very useful for rationalizing situations in your life, within synchronicites and scenarios that may unfold (which will lead one to making the most rational decision).
And if you then analyze these synchronicites and the potential of them happening over and over again, the odds become absolutely astronomical. I recently had a mind blowing synchronicity in which I was able to directly analyze it in pure mathematical terms. The possibilities of that happening were 1.8 million to 1. Also, the direct implications of this synchronicity were revolutionary. Due to the length of that story, I am going to have to omit it for another time.
This previous September in 2008, I decided to figure out the significance of this number in my life. I typed in "the number 343" on Google and hit search. The first result came back; "The Number 343: The Ark of God." The article went on to explain the mathematical significance of the number and its direction relation to the bible with one of the most famous relics of all time and considered by archeologists to be one of the greatest treasures to history if ever found (Yes, Indiana Jones is another love of mine too. You can usually find me sporting his hat, but instead of wool, it's a leather fedora.). I discovered that 343 = 7 x 7 x 7, or 7 to the third power (7^3). The article also explained how the number 343 represents the significance of the numbers 3 and 7, and their intrinsic relationship. I immediately then made the connection with the number 37. As I later discovered the existence of decimal parity [along with its universal implications], that 343 = 3+4+3 = 10 = 1 + 0 and that 37 = 3 + 7 = 1 (Life always come back to one, the essence of everything). The odds alone of me choosing two numbers with the same decimal parity is 81 to 1. I also wanted to point this out if you didn't notice, but I discovered these numbers when I was seven.
Now let's analyze this information that is 'supposedly' being handed down to me by some divine or subliminal message. Seven is one of the foundational numbers in existence. It is referenced in practically every major creation story on the planet with respects to the seven days of creation. Within New Age theology [and also Buddhism], the body is composed of seven spiritual organs which in turn relates to the seven densities of life . Of even more importance, seven is the most geometrically stable shape in the second dimension consisting of six around one, or in the appearance of six triangles that make up a hexagon which can be put in an infinite repetitive pattern. Triangles make us this building block which is built upon the number 3. Quartz crystals which are considered by the ancients among those in modern day spiritual theology as one of the most fundamental of crystals, or even simpler terms, [fundamental] entities. Quartz crystals are hexagonal crystals built upon molecular structure of silicon dioxide (one part silicon, two parts oxygen). The atomic numbers of quartz are 14 and 8, in respect to the elements. Thus the decimal parity of quartz is 14+8+8 = 30 = 3+0 = 3. Within the individual elements added together, 14 = 1+4 = 5, then 5+8+8 = 21 = 2 + 1 = 3.
My point being is that mathematical concepts are intrinsically related into ALL aspects of reality, both tangible and intangible. Mathematics is indeed the true language of the universe, whether you realize it yet or not. Our definition of human beauty is based on phi proportions. The ratio of the distance from the eye to the nose, in relation to the eye to the mount is phi, or 1.618. The so called 'beautiful' people of our society exhibit this ratio absolutely perfectly, while those we deem 'ugly' are ones where there face don't match those proportions.
All in all, my revelations with this notion began to induce an entirely new perspective for me throughout life. To conclude my point, the Ark of God was suppose to hold the "Word of God." As most intellectuals realize, ancient scriptures are not false, but purely metaphorical in truth. Their purpose is to teach 'divine' lessons. Well, the number 343 revealed to me the "Word of God", in understanding the divine structure of the universe.
I want to relate one final experience with those who have read up to the point, and I greatly appreciate you for the time you spent in listening to another ones life story. Yesterday, October 29th, 2008, was one of the most enlightening days of my life. And I would like to especially thank my friend Taryn for it. Taryn I met back in high school, and went on 'burn cruises' on and off, driving around the back roads of Scarborough smoking pot. I ended up running into her at school this year, and found out we took the bus from one campus to another on two of the same days of the week. So for a half hour each on these days, her and I sat together and talked. These conversations quickly with from the 'normal' everyday conversations into metaphysics, conspiracy theories, and other 'fringe' subjects. Many people picked on Taryn on high school for being 'dumb', and got the stereotype as I myself had been labeled for being an introvert. She was in fact just the opposite, and what I nicknamed her as "a hidden beauty" because most people assume from her beautiful appearance on the outside that there's nothing there on the inside. Anyways, Taryn and I began hanging out on a daily basis while always being consumed in intellectual conversation. We were both teaching each other many different and unique lessons, along with sharing pure and simple information.
Taryn had been bugging me over and over to watch "I Heart Huckabee's" and continued to insist it wasn't a chick flick. I seriously had only watched a couple movies since the semester began as I had fallen out of sync with the entertainment industry. Yesterday, I gave in and we watched it. The movie turned out to be an absolute philosophical masterpiece while being presented in the format of a Greek comedy. It was absolutely brilliant and beautiful in every way, shape, and form. I felt the entire movie was a direct reflection of my life and where it was going, relating to each and every character with different aspects with my own life and with the significant others in my life. Reality slowly melted away and it was just me and the movie. My thoughts consumed everything, and I fell completely into the realm of what I would call 'tripping' however without the use of those so called mushrooms.
At one point, I dove so deep into the material, I blanked out basically. Time and space no longer existed. And I am dead serious when I say it no longer existed. Upon later analysis of this moment, I realized I had gone over to the 'dark side' and had been completely saturated for the first time in my life with the negative polarity. I saw myself as all that there was. However, as I could not become any more extreme in that polarity along with the inherent nature of who I was [and thanks to a catalytic line from the movie then ringing in my ears] I was sucked back into the positive aspect of reality. When the movie was finished, I sat there in utter disbelief. One of Hollywood's creations that I tend to frown upon for distracting America and the world 24/7, had sent me on a roller coaster ride like no other through the deep recesses of my psyche. I viewed the world yet again from a more unified and balanced perspective.
I planned to include a bit more in this part of my story in terms of personal experiences, however, I have a feeling that many people are living very similar lives and beginning to grasp a mutual understanding of our current world situation. We are in epic times with the economical and political structure in one of its most fragile period. Capitalism and the materialistic outlook of society are being put to the test. My life has new meaning and I am learning lessons everyday at a remarkable pace. Life is speeding up on levels, from the macro to microcosms of nature. And with that notion and the understanding of logic, I will put forth that my faith rests with Mayan ideology, in my opinion the greatest mathematicians and cosmologists in Earth's [I]known history. With the understanding of exponential acceleration [in respect to every aspect of society, nature, and conscienceness], one must deduce we will reach its infinite expansion. The question then one must ask, is when?
10-30-2008, 08:58 PM
A note if anyone has already read Part V before the edit. I threw in a section that was very crucial to this piece toward the end regarding my personal experience with Taryn. I really recommending reading that piece. Enjoy! Namaste.
10-31-2008, 02:59 AM
I'm hoping somebody finishes this, and reach the grand finale. I think it really wraps up perfectly and want to hear someones review :p
11-06-2008, 09:52 AM
Jesus Herbert Christ, Arturo!
I just fought 5 massive walls of text. Read the whole damn thing, and then I closed my laptop and thought for an hour or so. I'm on my roof watching for these predicted meteor showers, that aren't quite what was reported, not yet anyway.
Good stuff brother. I admire your bibliographical endevour, because I too have always considered writing a conglomeration of personal experiences that would represent my current (perceived at least) level of consciouness. Or more accurately, How much wisdom I posses. Personal experiences have always been what I look to for wisdom in my own life. I've always subscribed to the "be your own teacher" idea.
I also admire your linguistic pursuit of ancient texts as I too think much has been lost/hidden in translation. Arithmatic is much the same imo, you simply can't argue w/ it, and clearly you have taken that to another level.
I'm writer by trade, but I am doing no more than condensing old sports stories for a professional archive right now. You have truly inspired me to take up this task, and I will begin to construct a cohesive time/story line of personal experiences and ideas, which imo you have done a pretty good job with. Well as cohesive as possible I guess, i have a few questions for sure.
Let's start w/ the fairly interesting story of why I'm even here writing this though.
I was reading your "sporadic tides in maine" thread in news and I noticed your signature. I'll say I was interested enough to google "Zeus is back bitches" w/ quotes of course, and the only return w/ that exact combination of words, was a link to this thread.
So you're Zeus huh?
Or his reincarnation.
Very interesting my friend.
I think I gathered from your intro that you're about 23? That would make you about three years younger than myself, but I get the feeling that you may indeed be far older than I am.
As a kid I had always felt that I had memories that I couldn't account for. There was alot of "foreign" stuff that I would see glimpses of, but could never quite see clearly. Nonetheless these glimpses still seemed more like memories then "foreign" visions.
I feel like I am very young spiritually and I have no grounds for saying this other than the fact that the glimpses at a certain point became clearer, and I now believe that my first ever existance was that of a black labradour.
I know. Carazy Carazy.:original:
I posted this (http://www.projectavalon.net/forum/showpost.php?p=56686&postcount=9) awile a go, but I'll copy and paste a bit of it here.
"This will sound crazy I'm sure but, the earliest memory I have was that of a dog. Yes, I might be crazy. My parents reminded me (while joking w/ their friends at a dinner party) when i was 8 or so that at 4 years old I was recounting tales of being a black labradour, and immediatley I remembered the same detailed visions. I remember feeling that there was an entire other life I had lead. As a youngster I just thought it was cool that I had these strange memories (because I love dogs), but as I grew up and had time to reflect, I began to think that if this was not a past life, then it was at least a sign that life goes on in ways we can't imagine. It's very off the wall, but in a way, that is the reason that I believe to be "immortal" for lack of a better word."
One question I had was if your friend that you were semi telepathicly communicating w/, remembers telling you that you were god or any other part of the conversation?
I shall have to look much deeper into your mathematical theories. phi has always interested me as well, but I became removed from any such research when I graduated last year. I've been too focused on some "lost causes" and recently I have w/drawn somewhat from the 911 truth movement or Obama nwo connections research.
I'm much more interested in grand cosmic questions, like the ones that I think you may be looking for as well.
Namely, why are we humans consciously and subconsciously obsessed w/ the golden ratio.
Is this natural, or instilled?
p.s. I had to look up at my own clock of course when you wrote about seeing 3:43 and laughing. The time I saw was 2:53 2+5+3=10=1.:original:
, , , and you are blowing the whistle on , , , yourself?
Just curious. :original:
Read the story. Look into phi.
11-06-2008, 02:31 PM
Thank you Raulduke. I greatly appreciate it. I've heard but only kind words from my story. I had almost thought that this thread was forgotten. I'm going to have to write a part 6 or an epilogue, as so much has happened in a span of a couple weeks since I wrote that.
You can notice in the piece alone the degree of acceleration. This acceleration is apart of every part of life at the moment. The most obvious is within technology, but every aspect of society from language to human behavior.
This last two weeks the same amount of stuff has happened in the last two months. The last two months equates to the last two years and so on. The synchronicities and revelations are going through the roof.
Things are indeed happening.
About my friend, no he has no recollection of talking to me as I have always considered that part to be a hallucination. For a long time I considered it just to be the drugs, just like people consider it just to be a dream. Years later, I began to realize that their may be of actually of been some truth in that halluicination that I originally missed.
And the golden ratio is absolutely natural. It is the most natural pattern or progression in mathematics, and life being a reflection of the mathematical world, in that math is nature, and nature is math, it is at the foundation of all that is.
When they see look into the mirror, and see the creator, you are indeed seeing the creator, within not only the tangible sense of your appearance relating to mathematics and the golden ratio, but also the intangible consciouseness of yourself, the all that is, staring back. It is all one in the same. And with that notion, comes beauty.
Also, I am by no means 'stating' that I am Zeus. That is the sole reason I originally wrote the story, because if I related that to anyone, they think I am 'loony'. As in my signature, I say "So I am told". That is the important thing, as my dream told me this, actually it indirectly did by stating it within the dream. The true question is how I interpret this dream, and I tend to keep that interpretation to myself.
11-09-2008, 10:41 AM
I wanted to say first that when I reread what I wrote last time, I regret the way I put this bit:
So you're Zeus huh?
Or his reincarnation.
Very interesting my friend.
I felt like that might have come off as condescending or disbelief, which was absolutely not my intent. I'm not saying it was recieved as such, I just wanted to reiterate that I am truly interested.
I think I understand where you're coming from in that regard, as I've had some good laughs w/ the few people I relayed my black lab dreams to. I suppose that is a bit simpler than explaining the Zeus connection though. For what it's worth, I see the connection certainly w/ your fire poi your columns dreams prior to the "big dream". I looked those columns (knossos) up, and just like you said of course: red w/ yellow.
I also relate to having been given a message that is soley up to one's self to decipher. I cannot necessarily put into words what I've taken from my dreams/memories, but I learned what I needed to in order to better proceed forward as a result them.
And as far as phi goes, yes I absolutely agree that the abundance of the presence of the ratio is natural, what I am not so sure of is why we humans are so consiously and subconsciously drawn to it. My theories are less mathematical in nature ( as I am a journalism grad and did my best to avoid anything too complicated regarding mathematics!). As I see it the ratio itself is the result of an imbalanced porportion. This is very undeveloped and I am certainly open to critique, but I wonder why in so many other aspects of life, we seek balance, yet this attraction is based on imbalance.
I was thinking about your story the other day and thought of something else I wanted to ask.
The Yogi, (the guy that (if I remember correctly) you met on the web and then in your dream where he lead you to the twelve ummm.. dudes I guess), have you guys been in contact post dream in waking life?
Also I was wondering if you've done any fire dancing at any of the bigger festivals around the country. I've seen alot of really cool poi over the years at fests like bonaroo, wakarusa, 10,000 lakes, moedown, all good high sierra, rothbury, summercamp, jazz fest.
One of the best (re: fire dancing) was this band I'd never heard of (the Mutaytor) at wakarusa that normally did stuff like Burning Man. They had the whole stage setup w/ some impressive pyrotechnics (especially for inside a tent, it was huge though), and some really hot "scantily clad" chicks spinning fire and swinging overhead belayed (from the stage and tent rigging) on ropes. I had eaten about 4 grams of mushies that we had made into chocolates before the fest, and was front and center for the show. They (fire dancers) were probably no closer than ten feet away from us at any time, but we were all tripped out and ducking for every swoop. It was a blast.
And lastly I was wondering if you remember the name of the panoramic view website you mentioned tha showed you the same view as your dream? That sounds really cool.
Thanks for the story Gregor.
11-25-2008, 02:31 AM
Hey Raulduke, sorry it took me forever to get back to ya. That site I have tried to find again and have not been able to. It was found through hours of searching under the topic of Minoan Peak Sanctuaries so good luck if you want to search for it.
I have not been in contact with him, but still can easily. I wanted to at least share him the portion of the Book of Gregor from my dream as he asked to hear the full story [when I actually got to writing it all out] when I had told him about it a long time ago.
Only festival you would of seen me perform as is Firefly in Vermont, otherwise it has all been in Maine. I have little interest in festivals now. But ya, I love the art!
11-25-2008, 06:24 PM
:original: :winksmiley02: :thumb_yello:
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