[skatardude10]

I am feeling totally left out of the game right now and have been for a while... It is really disappointing. I will try my best to elaborate, and I would love all your thoughts on how to get back into it...

A few months ago I had been finding out more and more about everything, space/time, just, all the situations that are happening and the energy flowing inside me was insane... Even visually insane, I would wave my arms and see beams of sinusoidal light trailing, the visualizations of aliens, people waking up, the dreams were beyond lifelike and in many ways still are but it seems like the energy has COMPLETELY died off and now, in my town everything seems to be doing fine, gas prices are down, everyone has jobs, there are plenty of jobs open yet I am still looking for a job... But unlike a couple months ago when I was living in Florida, up here in Virginia everything is back to normal like it has always been, superficial... and most of the people around me are telling me to "take a break" from the "heavy thinking" and just "stop it for 6 months or so and settle in" referring to ANYTHING that is out of the line of society's superficial nonsense. If I take any political ideas ANY bit beyond what is presented in the mainstream news the people around me get depressed, anxious, angry, and emotional... even though what I am saying is not much different, just a bit broader spect than what they are used to.

It's just like, it seems like life is now FORCING me to settle into a superficial work 9-5 every day kind of lifestyle without any expansion... and Everything's fine! But what sucks the most is that it's getting harder and harder every day to envision anything ever changing... Before the energy flowing and the excitement was like, I can't wait! I love the world and Wow! But now, it's almost like there is a major part of me that doesn't want it to change... and I feel completely disconnected from everything you guys are saying and there hasn't been nearly any energy flowing, yet I still feel extremely disconnected from society... it's almost like I don't want ANYTHING to happen... Nothing... like, I want it all to end. I want some inspiration but unlike before it's like now I doubt I can even have any inspiration because I just cant visualize anything inspiring me I feel so disconnected from everything.

With that said, my dreams have slowly been getting weirder and more cynical, like last night I had a weird dream that some delivery truck guy was wheeling a bunch of old board games up to our house to give it to us for some reason, and while wheeling it up someone "Jacked" his truck, drove it down the street and a family member went out and a decapitated head flew through the window and took off his head... and everything just was weird and nasty and dark, and other dreams where there were tons of people working around warehouses / 7-11 for extremely low pay... and everything was extremely dilapidated... I don't like this type of visualization...

Any help, any suggestions, any way to get back inspiration would be GREATLY appreciated...

p.s... I have been trying alot lately to focus on the positive side of things... maybe since I have stopped paying attention to the negative things I have offset the balance so I am now subconsciously manifesting the negative to balance things out? What do I do? Consciously focus on positive and let negativity flow? Or consciously focus on the negative and let positivity inspirations flow? It's so confusing. I apologize for ranting, this game is crazy and I pray I don't miss any critical moments and am ready when the time is right.