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Old 10-24-2009, 06:49 PM   #1
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Default Experiences since a toddler - all my life.

I have experienced the following things ever since I can remember - from the age of being a toddler. I'll do it in point form, otherwise I'll be typing for too long. I'll try to keep them in order of when the experiences for started and as they happened through my life. Take from this what you will.

Woke up in bed numerous times as a toddler/young child floating above my bed. Upon awakening I would drop back onto by bed. While above the bed, the experience was often accompanied by a feeling of something holding me up by my ribs (or that area), as if being pulled up.

Often woke up to find beings and entities in my room. They weren't always the same. Sometimes one tall entities, sometimes several small ones. Sometimes they were just heads.

I would often wake up, not in my room. I don't know where I was, except that I was most certainly not in my room.

I dreamed of circles in the grass when I was a toddler/young child. I looked at them and said (to myself): "Human beings have been here". I recall asking my mother the next day: "What is a human being?". She explained that I was a human being. I realize this is hard to swallow, that I could remember such a conversation, from that age - but I do, distinctly.

As a young child/toddler, I had recollection of places that I had not been to. I remember thinking about those places and wondering where/when those places were/are. I still do. I don't know the answer - still.

I also recall dreaming of that place. In that dream I was in two places. I was both on the ground and in the sky. I was speaking to "myself". This was at age 4 or 5. I looked up to the sky, as I looked down to myself looking up. I said: "I know I am in a dream". Then I woke up. I distinctly remember this dream.

At about 5, I saw a man standing in front of me. He was transparent and blue. Of course, I screamed my lungs out. This is a very distinct memory.

I often woke up in my bed the wrong way around. ie: Foot to head. Not in my covers, but on my bed.

I would often, as a child, get random thoughts to stop heading in one direction and turn away from where I was heading or where I was going. I would have the urge to go somewhere else. ie: I would be riding my bike, see a line of trees and for one reason or another, I'd have to turn around and go see what was in those trees. I felt strongly that something was there that I would miss if I did not turn around, or go there.

I have had literally thousands of dreams, all my life about world events, places and people. I have so many images of events and places in my head, I don't think I could ever explain them all.

I have woken up hundreds of times frozen in my bed, with my room lit up blue (with no light source, just radiant blue). This was associated with low deep oscillating humming, so deep that I could actually feel it through my entire body. There is also an associated high pitched oscillating sound. Each and every time this happened, I would fight with everything I have to get up from my bed. However, in each and every instance I simply lost consciousness after a short while and woke up later (usually in the morning).

I dreamed of September 11 the day before it happened. I also dreamed of the towers falling months before it happened. I have also had more dreams which have not yet happened: nuclear explosions, martial law and also non-human entities being here on the surface of this earth, associated with the roundup of people. This would take me too long to explain here, but I have dreamed of this scenario and situation dozens of times. I have a great picture in my mind of what is coming in that regard. But of course, I don't have dates - so it's practically useless information (sense my frustration?) anyway.

I have woken up physically injured many times. One particular night, I was having my head crushed in (or, at least, that's how it felt) by some sort of pressure. I woke up the next morning with a swollen neck and face.

I have a hole on the inside of my right calf. It is a piece of missing skin, about the size of a match head. It wasn't there when I want to bed. It remained bruised for several years. The bruising has only recently fully disappeared.

I do not only dream. I also have images and feelings flood into my head and into my consciousness while I am awake. I hear things. Places, names, people, all sorts of things. I plain out don't listen anymore. I've learned to block it out. Long story.

I am a believer in God. I read the Bible. I pray. So, (and I know that I will be told otherwise on a forum like this) I try to block all things out. I do not wish to speak with, inquire of, be influenced by or deal with any entity. I never did want to and I still do not want to. So, I do my best to block it all out and make these things go away. I have been injured attacked and abused by these things all my life. If anyone tells me: "Oh just go with the flow" - then you haven't been through what I have and you don't know what you're talking about so spare me - please.

I am also very intuitive. I often know when danger is close. I often know peoples intentions. I often know what people are thinking (to an extent). This often makes life difficult for me because I often KNOW when someone is lying, or not telling the truth. Then (with an apparent lack of evidence), I am accused of being judgmental or accusive. So, I often have to just say nothing, even though I know better than others in some instances and circumstances because they can't work out why I am so adamant of knowing something without evidence, and: "I'm psychic and I can read your mind" usually doesn't do the trick!

I am not religious. I can't stand religion. I hate religion. earlier I said I believe in God and that I read the Bible. That does NOT make me "religious". So please spare me and not put me in a religious fundamentalist box. I believe what I do because of what I have experienced.

I also have memories of not only being aboard space craft, but also piloting them. I have memories of being in different places, which I can safely say couldn't possibly be earth. Also, I am quite convinced I have visited places both on and off earth that aren't even in this time. I don't know the full story and I wont pretend to.

To conclude everything. Let me say that I have been abused, tortured, messed with and psychologically scarred by the entities that have taken an interest in me since I was a toddler. For this reason: 1). My attitude isn't to great and 2). I have fought with it all my life under great protest and duress.

I have absolutely NO will to discuss these things because "it's cool" or because I am looking for excitement. It's just that once you've been through something for long enough, you begin to accept it and become accustomed to it. So in recent years I've been a little more open to both discussing these things and also trying to find out more information.

I can say one thing. I am not a person who says he has all the answers. I'll tell you - I am flat out confused. In many ways, I am broken. I am ruined -- but I am not looking for sympathy or a shoulder either. I've got my chin up, and all I really want is the truth. I really don't want to get involved in an experience fest.

What I have written above is what has happened with me, the way I see it. I'm not looking for attention. I am most certainly not looking to site here spending the rest of my life discussing on all the weird stuff that happens to people, ie: in search of drama. I've been through enough, so my belly is already full.

I could say more, but where do I stop? You can ask questions if you like. That's guts of it, as written above. My opinions, feelings and openness change from day to day and week to week depending on my mood. One day I'll be willing to talk about it, another day I'll probably tell someone to get lost I don't want to talk about it.

I posted it here just in case maybe, somehow, there might be a benefit. But I don't see how (honestly).. I don't mean to have a bad attitude about it all, but 1). I am pretty ****** off with the whole thing and 2). I'm kind of over it, in the respect that I don't have ANY real answers and I'm kind of sick of looking for them.

..but I am intrigued. If I could find any "REAL" answers at all, I'd be over the moon. No pun intended. But I am not holding my breath.

I'm just annoyed that I don't know who I am. I am annoyed about a lot of things. My head is a mess. But I put on a very good act to appear level headed.

Last edited by m1*; 10-24-2009 at 07:01 PM. Reason: corrected typos
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Old 10-24-2009, 07:04 PM   #2
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Default Re: Experiences since a toddler - all my life.

Well, I can't solve your frustrations, but I enjoyed reading about your experiences. Quite a beautiful series of memories. A lot of people are trying to piece things together these days, it seems, and you never know how what you posted may help that process.

Thanks for the post.
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Old 10-24-2009, 07:11 PM   #3
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Default Re: Experiences since a toddler - all my life.

Well, to me - it's not beautiful. I can see how a reader might view them as beautiful, but to me they are not.

I will agree that they are interesting, and I am of course intrigued as to many things that have been happening with me. But the most frustrating part is that I don't know so much. It's hard.

I wish I could at least USE what i know, but I can't even do that because I don't know times or dates. I don't know so much. All I have are fragments and flashes and images and INJURIES and PHOBIAS! ..as a result.

Example. I went to the dentist last year. You know what I did? I'll tell you. The dentist leaned over me with his little mirror. I started sweating profusely, breathing heavily and I could not help myself but to sit up in the chair. Then after a moment, I sat back down realizing that I was being silly. Seconds later I sprung up again, pushing him away, and climbed off the chair.

ONLY NUTS do things like that! I don't even know WHY I did it. I didn't even feel that way until I was actually in the chair. I didn't feel bad about going to the dentist, prior. See, what ever is going on with me isn't beautiful. It's causing flashbacks, heart palpitations, stress and deep random nervousness when I least expect it.
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Old 10-24-2009, 07:24 PM   #4
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Default Re: Experiences since a toddler - all my life.

Your feelings are like of those which parents abused them while young (it is a comparison)

Speaking of parents...did they notice anything? Your behavior? Your words? Did you mention this?

and

Did you ever attempt to communicate with the ET? Do you have any memories of it?
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Old 10-24-2009, 07:30 PM   #5
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Default Re: Experiences since a toddler - all my life.

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Originally Posted by Spregovori View Post
Your feelings are like of those which parents abused them while young (it is a comparison)

Speaking of parents...did they notice anything? Your behavior? Your words? Did you mention this?

and

Did you ever attempt to communicate with the ET? Do you have any memories of it?
People have suggested this to me before. Actually, it's the first thing most people usually suggest -- but I am quite sure I was not abused in such a manner when I was a child. I'm actually quite positive. If those early memories were the ONLY memories I had, I might lean toward looking into it, but I have had thousands of experiences all my life. Not just while sleeping but also while wide awake.

No I do not try to communicate with ET, because I can do without waking up with my head half crushed in or skin missing from my leg. If anything, I do everything I possibly can to protect myself from any communication or exposure. The only communication I have is prayers, to God.

edit Oh I forgot to answer this:

"Speaking of parents...did they notice anything? Your behavior? Your words? Did you mention this?"...

I can't say there's anything spectacular to mention there. As far as my parents go, they just felt that I had an overactive imagination. My mother isn't overly receptive towards such things. She laughs it off and makes a joke out of anything I have ever tried to say, so I gave up talking to her about it. My dad is more receptive, but he just listens and doesn't seem to have much to say. I've told my parents about such things, but as I got older I pretty much stopped saying anything.

Last edited by m1*; 10-24-2009 at 07:37 PM.
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Old 10-24-2009, 07:46 PM   #6
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I am not saying that your parents abused you....but your emotions are as if they had...they or someone else (ET)...abuse...

Try to communicate with the ET (if you can). It might help you. It is not like you can escape or prevent them from getting to you?
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Old 10-24-2009, 07:59 PM   #7
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Default Re: Experiences since a toddler - all my life.

Thanks Spregovori, but I think I'll pass on the communication with ET. I've had enough. But true, yes, it seems I cannot prevent them from showing up whenever they like. However, I will say that my prayers to God seem to be doing the trick. A lot of people seem to think that asking for protection from "guides" helps them. I don't do guides. I just pray to the creator. I have also learned that the name Jesus works wonders. When I first experienced these things, I didn't realise that. However, I have since come to find out that these entities do NOT like the name of Jesus. The only way I can get rid of them (if I am conscious enough to do so) is to call on the name of Jesus. Otherwise, if I am asleep or not fully conscious - stuff still goes on, except there's not much I can do about that except to wake up and have flashbacks.
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Old 10-24-2009, 07:24 PM   #8
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Default Re: Experiences since a toddler - all my life.

I guess I mean 'beautiful' that you remember them. I mean, you're sharing here right? So, thanks.

There are a lot of people on this site that can probably help things along, like out of the frustration zone. It can't happen without you saying your piece, which you did and are, as I see it.
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Old 10-24-2009, 08:00 PM   #9
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Default Re: Experiences since a toddler - all my life.

Hi M1, I m a rookie here like you and have similar feelings. Maybe you have to know the answer to be able to ask the question.
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Old 10-24-2009, 08:06 PM   #10
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Default Re: Experiences since a toddler - all my life.

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Hi M1, I m a rookie here like you and have similar feelings. Maybe you have to know the answer to be able to ask the question.
I don't know. All I know is that there's a WHOLE lot more to life than meets the average persons eye. I know that much for a fact. I also know that we humans are not the only beings interfacing with this planet. I'm not only referring to physically either.
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Old 10-24-2009, 08:12 PM   #11
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m1- what do the beings look like ( you mentioned taller and shorter ones when you were younger)?
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Old 10-25-2009, 02:22 AM   #12
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Example. I went to the dentist last year. You know what I did? I'll tell you. The dentist leaned over me with his little mirror. I started sweating profusely, breathing heavily and I could not help myself but to sit up in the chair. Then after a moment, I sat back down realizing that I was being silly. Seconds later I sprung up again, pushing him away, and climbed off the chair.

I didn't even feel that way until I was actually in the chair.
Yoohoo Barry! Chair? Trip seat?
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Old 10-24-2009, 08:18 PM   #13
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Default Re: Experiences since a toddler - all my life.

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I am a believer in God. I read the Bible. I pray. So, (and I know that I will be told otherwise on a forum like this) I try to block all things out. I do not wish to speak with, inquire of, be influenced by or deal with any entity. I never did want to and I still do not want to. So, I do my best to block it all out and make these things go away. I have been injured attacked and abused by these things all my life. If anyone tells me: "Oh just go with the flow" - then you haven't been through what I have and you don't know what you're talking about so spare me - please.

.


Dear friend, some of us here are believing that ET`s and reptilians are actually demons in disguised. Some believe in different things here like theories about andromedans ,pleadians ,tau cetians and reptilians are beings from other galaxies or universes.
I have watched almost all videos related to this on the web, have read many books and explored a lot about this.
The more I was exploring the more the real enemy was revealed to me.
Enemy that is very powerful and can change shapes . Both physically and visually . He can show you visions ,illusions or appear very fleshy if he so choses. he is not alone and he has his own followers and servants who can also do the same thing as he can, above described.
That enemy was once very high angel who obviously had great responsibilities because he was described as "shining one". He also had his hosts given to him in order to fulfill his duties given to him by Creator.
When he tried and actually rebelled against God and deceived first man and woman he was then punished . He was stripped from his previous position. Before ,he was abiding in light realms and didn`t know darkness but now was thrown our to know it. He lost his beautiful form by being cast out along with his hosts who followed him in his transgressions.
Now being out of the light realms and away from light,justice, power,wisdom and love of God he lost his beauty and turn in hideous creature.

As time was passing by and he and his hosts being away from God , they were losing their great might they previously had. Little by little they were losing all remains of beauty they had. Immediately after his casting out and for some centuries more he could transform into many shapes in order to trick,fool and deceive. He was choosing forms of angels of light,beautiful young women or men, God, serpent, enlighten being with bright clothing carrying scepters or staffs ...
Now he and his hosts got only power to annoy, torture and many bad things and they have a hard time presenting themselves as light being because they are way low with their life force.
That is why they are desperately trying ways to enslave humanity forever, to hurt us, eventually kill us.

I was mentioning before that I think they kidnap kids often because kids until age of 4-7 are most purest of all humans today.
Jesus explained that by saying that we could not enter kingdom of heaven unless we be as a child.

I think that by taking kids energy or very often their life they desperately try to suck a bit of purity of that kid.

Kids are left in horror and trauma.

Whatever you believe , you be sure of what you believe. Deception is in full swing world wide. I believe in God and his son Jesus Christ and in their removal of Satan and his hosts forever from the universe.

" a fall of one - a learning lesson for all-forever "

Go find my threads and posts here and let me know what do you think .

Love and blessings,
Beren
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Old 10-24-2009, 08:26 PM   #14
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Default Re: Experiences since a toddler - all my life.

beren, I agree with you and believe exactly as you have explained. Thank you. I do believe that the entities I have faced are demonic. That is why I have no wish to communicate with them. If their intentions were good, they would not have done what they did to me all my life. Also, I didn't mention earlier in my posts (because I couldn't be bothered going into too much detail), I can feel the energy of these creatures. It is dark and it stinks. Not a smell from a nose, but a spiritual stench. It is vile and dark and black. Many times I have felt them leeching off me, almost as if becoming one with me and the darkness I feel inside when that happens is indescribable. It is putrid and empty. many times I have felt like I was at deaths door because of these things. I can say for a certainty that they are demonic.
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Old 10-24-2009, 08:39 PM   #15
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Default Re: Experiences since a toddler - all my life.

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beren, I agree with you and believe exactly as you have explained. Thank you. I do believe that the entities I have faced are demonic. That is why I have no wish to communicate with them. If their intentions were good, they would not have done what they did to me all my life. Also, I didn't mention earlier in my posts (because I couldn't be bothered going into too much detail), I can feel the energy of these creatures. It is dark and it stinks. Not a smell from a nose, but a spiritual stench. It is vile and dark and black. Many times I have felt them leeching off me, almost as if becoming one with me and the darkness I feel inside when that happens is indescribable. It is putrid and empty. many times I have felt like I was at deaths door because of these things. I can say for a certainty that they are demonic.

One of the first thing that we all forgot is a build in deep sense that we can feel. That was a gift of our creator.

Satan learned how to bend that and he and his crew are transforming in various things and beings.

But first thing is what do we feel when those entities attack us or are close to us?
Second thing if we don`t feel anything, then what is behind their words?
God NEVER hid anything from us and always explained us whatever we asked him through out the history.
Who is the ones who are mysterious and secretive always cloaking and hiding ? They always have an excuse for that.

I mean come on! God showed his vehicle to Ezekiel and also to whole Israel and 1,5 million of Egyptians who went with Israel in the desert . Approximately 3 million people saw that at once ! And now comes those "ET`s" and wouldn`t dare to show one miserable ship???

Come on!!!

Something is smelling badly in whole this thing

But I don`t blame people. We are curious but we have to remember that playing with fire can get you burned.
Or
remember this line:
Curiosity has killed the cat...

I know that in the future we will inherit bliss and everything prepared for us from the beginning of the world. But first there has to be some universal deep cleaning!!! Along with us if we want all that is prepared for us.
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Old 10-24-2009, 09:01 PM   #16
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Default Re: Experiences since a toddler - all my life.

M1 i notice here on avalon lately that people seem to relate et experiences/new age concepts with jesus and demons


Just as you have done....

I ask myself why is this coming to light....

I ask myself why it is that you initially came with the angle of ET contact the flashing light the blue lite bedroom I have 30 pics of ufo's



Then BAAM jesus christ superstar routine




come on bruv which is it ET or little horned dude ???

Try and open your mind see past the mist


truthseeker
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Old 10-24-2009, 10:00 PM   #17
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I wish we knew exactly who is doing the abducting- not discounting that they are not *Luciferian* based in origin and designed to fool people (for example some have positive experiences,some are traumatized and there could be a large spin factor involved designed to make some of us claim it's positive) etc; there seem to be different agendas, factions etc;

From what I've been researching lately- there are earth based Annunaki and they appear in conjunction with military in underground bases and elsewhere.

And it is said their main interests are bio based.......could they be the prime faction behind the abductions and cloning? And as our government is scared of them has decided to go along with this?

If so- from history- the reptilians are their enemies.........

And it is said the Kingdom of Annunaki (off planet based) is returning.

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Old 10-24-2009, 10:23 PM   #18
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Default Re: Experiences since a toddler - all my life.

Eleni-
One thing is sure for me and that is anything is possible.
When Jesus said that he has so much to tell them then BUT THEY COULD NOT BEAR IT in that time ...

We do not know for sure what is actually happening in the space as we know it.

I think Bible refers to the core of the matter . In the mean time who knows what happened behind the curtains and what did the evil entities done over last couple of thousands of years here on this planet, in it or around it in our solar system or further.

My opinion is that we need to fight for our soul and sanity in this turmoil of the time today. All other things will be revealed in their own time ,when we are ready.
But we`re not left alone in all this. Jesus taught us, healed us, helped us by casting out evil entities and was comforting us.
He is doing that also today . I think you saw so far many threads about that on various sites.

Anyways if we open our self for love and truth from the one who IS love and truth , there is no power in the universe who can defeat us!

Love and blessings!
Beren
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Old 10-24-2009, 11:26 PM   #19
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Thank you Beren for posting that. I am going to reread the bible and see what I can gleam from it.

m1- are you in any way (or family member) connected with the military?

"Anyways if we open our self for love and truth from the one who IS love and truth , there is no power in the universe who can defeat us!"

Yes, exactly what my friend and I were discussing this morning after I had sent him the Hidden Hand article which was filled with justifications on infliction of pain/suffering at the gain of duality based factions.
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Old 10-25-2009, 03:27 AM   #20
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Thank you Beren for posting that. I am going to reread the bible and see what I can gleam from it.
I have found that the Bible is not a text to read from beginning to ed like a story book. It is something that should be read to look back over and cross reerence, etc.

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m1- are you in any way (or family member) connected with the military?

"Anyways if we open our self for love and truth from the one who IS love and truth , there is no power in the universe who can defeat us!"

Yes, exactly what my friend and I were discussing this morning after I had sent him the Hidden Hand article which was filled with justifications on infliction of pain/suffering at the gain of duality based factions.
My grandfather (on my mothers side) was in the military, but as far as I understand things, he was a cook.

I do believe that there are branches of government (or at least, shadow government) that have technology that has far surpassed what is known and available publicly. I also do not believe that human kind devised this technology. I believe it was given to us. So, I wouldn't be at all surprised if I have been in full, or in part, affected by some sort of earth based secret program of one kind or another.

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Old 10-25-2009, 04:10 AM   #21
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Default Re: Experiences since a toddler - all my life.

Hi m1, thank you for sharing your story. You might find Dr. David Jacobs work of interest. He wrote 'The Threat' and it's on PDF where you can google a link to it. I have noticed that many abductees are generational and the family is connected with the military. However I do have some confusion about the hybridization program and the young earth children who are taken. And I'm just unclear as to the whole military component with respect to where they work in concert with the ETs and abduction of children. Personally, I think kidnapping of and experimentaion on children as evil. And I'm most concerned about any US citizen (military or otherwide) engaged in these type of nefarious practices where children (the innocent) are victimized and left with PTS... which is what you experienced while at the dentist. The dental type setting triggered negative unconscious memories which had been blocked from your conscious mind. The problem with these type of ET activities is that they happen when the subject is wide awake and conscious where all of the physical pain and emotional trauma are conscious events... then they block the memory creating a hotbed of unconscious aniexty triggers. It's not like when one enters into the hospital for surgery, discusses it with the doc, is put out with meds and wakes up in recovery with the procedure behind them.

This makes one wonder as to what possible motive is there for so much deliberate pain and suffering through an entire life for abductees who are used for genetic hybridization program. Why is it necessary for children to suffer? Yet this is what the secret government does do to children and has done for the past 50 years plus. So who is really behind the whole abduction scenario? Us, them... a combination of the two?

m1, I'm truly sorry for what you have been through and... you may want to consider that may be a hybrid much like sleeper, lou baldwin, is where he remembered them bringing him to his body after he was born. Your earlier memories are telling.

As with respect to the door to the unconscious opened and your recalling future events... at another level of your awareness you seem to have access to information at the quantom level where there is no sense of time as all exists simultaneously. Time if for 3rd dimension where experiences and events are experienced as linear. When folks sleep that linear time mode is turned off and one experiences dream time or that period just before waking or falling asleep as multi-dimensional. m1, I suspect your conscious awareness is plugged into a bigger sine wave circut then the average human being.

eleni... you tend to raise questions I've also been thinking about throughout the day. I listened to Greers latest interview and what he said made sense up to a point... so of course there are a lot of questions unanswered. Some day I hope to sit down with him and fire away. Thank you for sharing what you have as well.
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Last edited by Carol; 10-25-2009 at 04:18 AM.
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Old 10-25-2009, 04:40 AM   #22
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Hi m1, thank you for sharing your story. You might find Dr. David Jacobs work of interest. He wrote 'The Threat' and it's on PDF where you can google a link to it. I have noticed that many abductees are generational and the family is connected with the military. However I do have some confusion about the hybridization program and the young earth children who are taken. And I'm just unclear as to the whole military component with respect to where they work in concert with the ETs and abduction of children. Personally, I think kidnapping of and experimentaion on children as evil. And I'm most concerned about any US citizen (military or otherwide) engaged in these type of nefarious practices where children (the innocent) are victimized and left with PTS... which is what you experienced while at the dentist. The dental type setting triggered negative unconscious memories which had been blocked from your conscious mind. The problem with these type of ET activities is that they happen when the subject is wide awake and conscious where all of the physical pain and emotional trauma are conscious events... then they block the memory creating a hotbed of unconscious aniexty triggers. It's not like when one enters into the hospital for surgery, discusses it with the doc, is put out with meds and wakes up in recovery with the procedure behind them.
Well, regarding the PTS, I'd buy that. I mean, it's blatantly obvious that I was discontent about SOMETHING as someone leaned over me with a metal object. I felt like I wanted to grab him by the neck and strangle him. I really lost the plot that day. I was so embarrassed.

I was having trouble with my wisom teeth, and after that "episode" the dentist recommended that when I had them removed I was to be put to sleep. That was probably a very good idea, because I very likely WOULD have strangled someone.

But you know something peculiar? After that trip, I went to the hospital to have my wisdom teeth removed. I tell no word of a lie, this is what happened:

I was lying on the bed thing what ever it is called in a gown, in a room, ready to be rolled into the theater. A nurse places a blanket over me and also a machine which pumps warm air into another plastic type blanket to raise my body temperature. I noted to them: "Good, because I am very cold blooded". I wasn't trying to reference anything. All I meant was that I feel the cold much more than other people. Then, another guy (don't know what his role was), but he had ONE slit eye, I could see it (and I swear I am not telling fibs), he said: "Like those creatures from the center of the earth?". I looked at him and my eyes opened like saucepans (so to speak). I was speechless. Why did he say THAT? That is NOT a good thing to say to me if they wish me to STAY on that table and not disintegrate everything in the room! However, I didn't say anything or move, because I still felt highly embarrassed about the "dentist" situation and I didn't want to come out of that surgery having dome something even worse. So I just lied there and tried to keep my cool. But I was thinking.. WHY did you say that?

..and why DID he say that? I tell no word of a lie, I looked into his eyes just prior to him saying that and one of them was slit. I thought I was imagining things. See, the whole thing is - I was AWARE (after the dentist situation) that I get a bit over excited when people lean over me with metal objects, so I was trying HARD to just remain calm and not do anything that will cause me embarrassment. That is pretty much the only reason why I didn't jump off that table there and then -- because I was already putting in a great effort to remain calm. But I am still highly confused why he said that.

Maybe it was an inside joke between the staff? Maybe they were told what I did at the dentist? Maybe they know something about people who react that way? Maybe he was trying to get a reaction? I am still left with the question: WHY did he say that?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Carol View Post
This makes one wonder as to what possible motive is there for so much deliberate pain and suffering through an entire life for abductees who are used for genetic hybridization program. Why is it necessary for children to suffer? Yet this is what the secret government does do to children and has done for the past 50 years plus. So who is really behind the whole abduction scenario? Us, them... a combination of the two?
Hybridization doesn't really fit the way I see things, but I am not closed minded. I wouldn't be at all surprised if I am a hybrid of some kind. It would certainly make sense. I am very different (not in appearance) but in mindset towards just about everyone around me. I know that EVERYONE is different to one extent or another -- but I M REALLY different in the way that I see and react to things. I am different in what I see as valuable and what is not valuable. I often have great difficulty fitting in with peers, and have to put in a great conscious effort to act as they do -- not because I have low self esteem and want them to like me, but because if I act the way "I" feel I should act, they all think I am weird - so I can do without it. I only ever say a fraction of what I am thinking in social environments. I often look at the way people relate and react to each other and I find myself becoming rather depressed with social situations -- in minutes. So I sit there and smile and fit in, but deep down I am thinking? Is THIS all there is? Is THIS what people find fun? Oh man... I'd prefer to stand in the middle of nowhere and stare at the stars than I would like to sit with a heap of people drinking and telling crude jokes and reciting stupid stories about some immoral thing they did the day before. It's a real chore for me to deal with. So I live alone and I have been single for a decade. I just can't handle being around people for too long. They are very depressing to me.

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Originally Posted by Carol View Post
m1, I'm truly sorry for what you have been through and... you may want to consider that you are a hybrid much like sleeper, lou baldwin, is where he remembered them bringing him to his body after he was born. Your earlier memberies are telling.
I can't say i know - either way. It's possible, I guess. On some level. I just don't know. I don't have evidence to support that, but like I said, I wouldn't be at all surprised. I am most certainly different to 99% of other people and there are few people I can tolerate being around without getting bored or disillusioned with their mindset.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Carol View Post
As with respect to the door to the unconscious opened and your recalling future events... at another level of your awareness you seem to have access to information at the quantom level where there is no sense of time as all exists simultaneously. Time if for 3rd dimension where experiences are experienced a linear. When folks sleep that linear time mode is turned off and one experiences as multi-dimensional. I suspect your consciousness is plugged into a bigger circut then the average human being.
I'd buy that. I see a lot of things that I honestly can't even put into words. There just aren't the words. Then, if I try to explain what I see it makes no sense. In my mind I have a whole thought process which runs off images and what is "like" but is not exactly like: feelings. There's no way to verbalize or explain these thoughts. It's kind of like knowing the English language and talking to a dog. All the dog can understand is a few key words. You can relate SOME of what you think to the dog, but it really doesn't understand. It just knows that when you say "FETCH" it need to go and get what ever you threw. It doesn't know what fetch means though. Similarly, I have a whole range of thoughts and feelings and pictures in my mind that I can see but I don't know what they mean. I guess a good analogy would be that I am a caveman. I can make verbal sounds, and I know that certain grunts and moans represent "language" (even though I don't know what language really is), and then someone gave me a radio which links to the year 2009, and although I know that these people (who are speaking fluently and clearly) are using those sounds to say SOMETHING, I haven't been trained in the language so I don't know what they're saying. That is the best way I can describe what's in my head. It's hard to explain..

edit I just thought of another analogy. Imagine someone who was blind from birth. Then all the sudden they wake up one morning and they can see. They can see just like you and me but they have NO idea what they're looking at. That is another suitable analogy. Except I am not speaking of "vision" I am speaking about some thoughts and things in my head. I can't understand it. Sometimes I get so tired of it, I wind up just sitting there and staring for minutes. I have NO idea WHAT I am thinking, except that something is processing and I just can't be bothered looking, so I just wait for it to pass. Imagine being on a spinning wheel on your back at a playground. It's spinning and spinning. You could put in effort to TRY to make sense of what you see, but it's too much of a chore, so you just look straight up and watch the blur. That's the best way I can explain..

Last edited by m1*; 10-25-2009 at 04:55 AM.
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Old 10-25-2009, 05:42 AM   #23
Kari Lynn
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Default Re: Experiences since a toddler - all my life.

Quote:
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Well, regarding the PTS, I'd buy that. I mean, it's blatantly obvious that I was discontent about SOMETHING as someone leaned over me with a metal object. I felt like I wanted to grab him by the neck and strangle him. I really lost the plot that day. I was so embarrassed.

I was having trouble with my wisom teeth, and after that "episode" the dentist recommended that when I had them removed I was to be put to sleep. That was probably a very good idea, because I very likely WOULD have strangled someone.

But you know something peculiar? After that trip, I went to the hospital to have my wisdom teeth removed. I tell no word of a lie, this is what happened:

I was lying on the bed thing what ever it is called in a gown, in a room, ready to be rolled into the theater. A nurse places a blanket over me and also a machine which pumps warm air into another plastic type blanket to raise my body temperature. I noted to them: "Good, because I am very cold blooded". I wasn't trying to reference anything. All I meant was that I feel the cold much more than other people. Then, another guy (don't know what his role was), but he had ONE slit eye, I could see it (and I swear I am not telling fibs), he said: "Like those creatures from the center of the earth?". I looked at him and my eyes opened like saucepans (so to speak). I was speechless. Why did he say THAT? That is NOT a good thing to say to me if they wish me to STAY on that table and not disintegrate everything in the room! However, I didn't say anything or move, because I still felt highly embarrassed about the "dentist" situation and I didn't want to come out of that surgery having dome something even worse. So I just lied there and tried to keep my cool. But I was thinking.. WHY did you say that?

..and why DID he say that? I tell no word of a lie, I looked into his eyes just prior to him saying that and one of them was slit. I thought I was imagining things. See, the whole thing is - I was AWARE (after the dentist situation) that I get a bit over excited when people lean over me with metal objects, so I was trying HARD to just remain calm and not do anything that will cause me embarrassment. That is pretty much the only reason why I didn't jump off that table there and then -- because I was already putting in a great effort to remain calm. But I am still highly confused why he said that.

Maybe it was an inside joke between the staff? Maybe they were told what I did at the dentist? Maybe they know something about people who react that way? Maybe he was trying to get a reaction? I am still left with the question: WHY did he say that?
I sometimes wonder if there isn't something written on the computers as to what we are. Or even orders whether to let some people die, or treat others so they'll live. I lost a father in 2005, under some suspicious circumstances to hospital diagnosis, as well as I went to the hospital for "simple" gall bladder surgery that ended up being a 7 month nightmare, and almost dying few times.
Something the doctor told me really alerted me to that feeling.
After the first surgeons botched the surgery, (let it rupture and turn gangrene, and MRSA set in, and almost died) the specialist, told my husband and I that I'll likely not make it. It didn't look very good for me. Etc.. Etc... Then he asked me how old my children were. (I started being a mom late in life) I said 8, 9, and 14. His whole tune changed! Suddenly I was going to make it, everything would be alright.
But yeah, then he botched it too. Forgot to give me antibiotics, and I got a wound abcess, and MRSA again. Almost died again. (MRSA is a wicked disease!) Not to mention from all the medication and Mrsa, I was in a wheel chair for about 3 to 4 months.


Quote:
Hybridization doesn't really fit the way I see things, but I am not closed minded. I wouldn't be at all surprised if I am a hybrid of some kind. It would certainly make sense. I am very different (not in appearance) but in mindset towards just about everyone around me. I know that EVERYONE is different to one extent or another -- but I M REALLY different in the way that I see and react to things. I am different in what I see as valuable and what is not valuable. I often have great difficulty fitting in with peers, and have to put in a great conscious effort to act as they do -- not because I have low self esteem and want them to like me, but because if I act the way "I" feel I should act, they all think I am weird - so I can do without it. I only ever say a fraction of what I am thinking in social environments. I often look at the way people relate and react to each other and I find myself becoming rather depressed with social situations -- in minutes. So I sit there and smile and fit in, but deep down I am thinking? Is THIS all there is? Is THIS what people find fun? Oh man... I'd prefer to stand in the middle of nowhere and stare at the stars than I would like to sit with a heap of people drinking and telling crude jokes and reciting stupid stories about some immoral thing they did the day before. It's a real chore for me to deal with. So I live alone and I have been single for a decade. I just can't handle being around people for too long. They are very depressing to me.
I've thought about this very subject many times. I don't know how else to bring this up without sounding like I'm "Wierd" so what the heck.
there have been so many times that I will "Feel" someone's emotions. And many times when I run across gifted people, such as yourself, I sense they are looking for an Equal. (along with loneliness many times, and few other emotions thrown in occasionally too.)
If you stop and think about it, If you get into a relationship/friendship with average person, can read their thoughts, feelings, etc.... it would get pretty one sided, and unequal relationship/friendship. But what would happen if you met someone whom had a simular gift, and could BLOCK or psychically defend themselves? you couldn't read their thoughts, know what they're feeling? Kind of puts things on the same playing field then, doesn't it?
Don't know if that's possible. Just a thought.
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Old 10-25-2009, 06:12 AM   #24
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Default Re: Experiences since a toddler - all my life.

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Originally Posted by Kari Lynn View Post
I sometimes wonder if there isn't something written on the computers as to what we are. Or even orders whether to let some people die, or treat others so they'll live. I lost a father in 2005, under some suspicious circumstances to hospital diagnosis, as well as I went to the hospital for "simple" gall bladder surgery that ended up being a 7 month nightmare, and almost dying few times.
Something the doctor told me really alerted me to that feeling.
After the first surgeons botched the surgery, (let it rupture and turn gangrene, and MRSA set in, and almost died) the specialist, told my husband and I that I'll likely not make it. It didn't look very good for me. Etc.. Etc... Then he asked me how old my children were. (I started being a mom late in life) I said 8, 9, and 14. His whole tune changed! Suddenly I was going to make it, everything would be alright.
But yeah, then he botched it too. Forgot to give me antibiotics, and I got a wound abcess, and MRSA again. Almost died again. (MRSA is a wicked disease!) Not to mention from all the medication and Mrsa, I was in a wheel chair for about 3 to 4 months.
I remember watching my grandfather die at his hospital bed. At the time, I felt strongly that the doctors wanted him to die. They put a tube down his mouth and the condensation in the tube settled in his lungs, gave him pneumonia and he died (duh! idiots...). He knew he was going to die. He was pointing at the curtains. I have little faith in doctors or the medical system.

They did the same thing with my grandmother a few years later. They insisted that she was brain dead and needed to turn the machines off. So, the family agreed that is best. Then after watching her convulse and moan for several minutes, I came to the conclusion that she was murdered also.

Going to a hospital is one of the quickest ways to die in my books.

They are home now - in a better place. For that, I am glad.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kari Lynn View Post
I've thought about this very subject many times. I don't know how else to bring this up without sounding like I'm "Wierd" so what the heck.
there have been so many times that I will "Feel" someone's emotions. And many times when I run across gifted people, such as yourself, I sense they are looking for an Equal. (along with loneliness many times, and few other emotions thrown in occasionally too.)
If you stop and think about it, If you get into a relationship/friendship with average person, can read their thoughts, feelings, etc.... it would get pretty one sided, and unequal relationship/friendship. But what would happen if you met someone whom had a simular gift, and could BLOCK or psychically defend themselves? you couldn't read their thoughts, know what they're feeling? Kind of puts things on the same playing field then, doesn't it?
Don't know if that's possible. Just a thought.
I can relate to this. I wish the people around me, in my life, were more REAL about things. Most people are way too shallow and put LITTLE effort into understanding ANYTHING. They simply latch to what sounds good to them and makes them feel warm and fuzzy *sigh*. Then, they look at me, a person who THRIVES on learning and understanding and constantly try to convince me how I have everything all wrong, because what I say doesn't fit in their puny little head. So, I go back home - close my front door and sit here alone. Yes I know what I just said isn't very nice, but that's how I feel. Just being honest.
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Old 10-25-2009, 06:48 AM   #25
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Default Re: Experiences since a toddler - all my life.

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I remember watching my grandfather die at his hospital bed. At the time, I felt strongly that the doctors wanted him to die. They put a tube down his mouth and the condensation in the tube settled in his lungs, gave him pneumonia and he died (duh! idiots...). He knew he was going to die. He was pointing at the curtains. I have little faith in doctors or the medical system.

They did the same thing with my grandmother a few years later. They insisted that she was brain dead and needed to turn the machines off. So, the family agreed that is best. Then after watching her convulse and moan for several minutes, I came to the conclusion that she was murdered also.

Going to a hospital is one of the quickest ways to die in my books.

They are home now - in a better place. For that, I am glad.
Knowing they're in a better place is all that keeps me going. I've actually seen my father since he's passed. I was sitting on the edge of my bed, listening to the song "Whispering hope" played by I believe Red and Smiley. (Or was it Reno and Smiley? I can't remember their names now. Bummer!)
An Old timey TV show. From like the 60's. (even way before my time. lol)
They played it wonderfully. Tears filled my eyes, and I thought, "Oh dad I wish you could hear this! He laid his hand on my shoulder, and I heard his voice say, "I can hear it, I'm here." And then something about him listening to them on the radio back home when he was young.
I went to my mom, and told her about the experience, and she asked me, "Don't you know who they are?" (well..... NO!) Then she proceeded to tell me they were his favorite singers when they first got married.
My dad's sister lived in the basement apartment of my mom's house, and I went down to tell her. With tears in her eyes, she affirmed to me that, yes they used to listen to it on the radio back home!

Quote:
I can relate to this. I wish the people around me, in my life, were more REAL about things. Most people are way too shallow and put LITTLE effort into understanding ANYTHING. They simply latch to what sounds good to them and makes them feel warm and fuzzy *sigh*. Then, they look at me, a person who THRIVES on learning and understanding and constantly try to convince me how I have everything all wrong, because what I say doesn't fit in their puny little head. So, I go back home - close my front door and sit here alone. Yes I know what I just said isn't very nice, but that's how I feel. Just being honest.
OH DEFININITELY! Lots of people around here where I live are what I call Vain.
They worry so much about "how they look to other people. Have to "FIT IN" with society. What cloths they wear, how their car looks, how their house looks, etc....
I do have to say, my dad one time told me that he and I didn't have the same life style.
My mom and my brother were very materialistic. Keep up with the Jones' sort of attitude, best cloths, best cars, houses, toys, etc...
My dad, was always the nature person. Or so I thought. He liked to farm, garden, animals, walks in the woods, live off the land, etc..
His phrase that I always heard him say was, "I want to live 60 airmiles from the nearest road."
He never liked civilization. And I have somewhat the same attitude.
So when he told me we didn't have the same life style, I was hurt.

Later, I realized he was talking about me working part time mininum paying job, and living off cash means only. Everything old, patched, broken, etc...

Eventually, I did get a better paying job, got a loan on the house, got a loan on new car, new truck, credit cards out the bum, and in debt up to my eyeballs, (somebody help me! lol)
You know what. I think I was happier when I had nothing, driving an old junker with out AC, but having no bills to have to pay.

Last edited by Kari Lynn; 10-25-2009 at 06:52 AM.
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