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Old 11-22-2008, 03:51 PM   #26
Allie
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Default Re: A favor to ask to all at Avalon!

Oops - hadn't quite finished there

I've found things to be much easier when I get stuck in a negative situation with others since I realised that, for the most part, they meant no harm.

In another post somewhere we mentioned that language isn't a perfect medium. Society functions on shared understandings which is why it's best to stand back from the words being used and get to the intention coming at you.

Looking at intention, I've realised that more people care than don't. They just express that care from their worldview and use language that is imperfect to convey what's in their hearts. Their intention is usually well-meaning, however it comes out.

Hope this makes sense.
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Old 11-22-2008, 04:02 PM   #27
Gnosis5
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Default Re: A favor to ask to all at Avalon!

Hello Gregor,

I read your posts with great interest and I know you are on the right track. You may want to have some balance, if you don't already. Hubby and I do our "research" into unknowns and we do a little income gathering work too, nothing strenuous that will not allow us to maintain our balance. I am starting to build some artistic pieces and learn how to please an audience and sell them. Some pieces for my own pleasure too. Artists have to also balance their work/lives.

My mother-in-law is very self-quoted "down to earth" as she sees anything spiritual as a waste of time. I understand how she feels, but don't like the yelling. We have been giving her remote sessions, getting to view her traumatic past lives that may be currently dictating her actions. We notice that she is calming down very much. We also gave a remote session for my father-in-law who occasionally goes into a small rage. He has calmed down too.

Also, as you can read from my posts, we are clearing out our own cobwebs and I find we are becoming more balanced as a result. The way I see it, one has to front up to the "real world" to find out about themselves and see the progress they are making in their clearing. The more clearing progress I make the more I am able to deal with the "real world" on my terms.

Plus, the less negative energy we have on our parents. We are not trying to prove anything to them and we are very non-reactive with them. It was not that way before we began our clearing sessions with each other. I actually now can say that I love and appreciate my mother-in-law and wonder why I did not see it all along, lol.

PEAT has something called "multi-viewpoint processing" and it is an excellent process for family situations, try it please.

cheers!
Gnosis






Quote:
Originally Posted by GregorArturo View Post
My life is great now. Everything seems to be working out perfectly for me except for one thing: My parents.

I moved back in with them a year and a half ago when I moved back from Florida. I wasn't on staying with them long, but several fortunes and synchronicities, along with my own intuition told me to stay at home with them. I realized they needed me more than I needed them, especially my twelve year old brother.

Anyways, my parents do not appreciate me for who I am really (deep down that is not true I know). They have very capitalistic mind sets and do not understand who I am at all. They just want me to go to college, as I've they said twice this week, "I hope it makes us a bunch of money."

For the most part they think I am crazy. My dad even confronted me last week and said I needed to see a therapist (I had the best rebuttal ever in the world for that, and the conversation quickly ended). Last month, he said everything that comes out of my mouth is irrelevant, and with every week I always here, "You got a lot to learn son. You don't understand the real world at all." And moments later he swears at the top of his lungs for dropping his pencil. I've 'felt' his anger all my life and it really hurts. I see it eat away at him day in and day out.

This year have really tried to open the minds of my parents with absolute failure. They always attack me on the notions of conspiracy theories, even when I try to show them something that is just full of beauty.

I want my mom to come to one of my fire dance performances alone, or look at one of my photographs, and say to me, "Hey Greg (they don't call me Gregor), that's beautiful!" instead of only bringing her friends to them when they're out drinking, or shoving my photographs into their faces. That's her being, "Hey, look at my son!" versus "Hey, isn't this beautiful? Greg took it."

Yesterday, my mom asked rather sarcastically, "So what are you going to do with all this information, heh? Your constant studying and so called research?"

"Is there something I have to specifically do with it? Can I just simply enjoy the pursuit of knowledge?"

"Well, it's not doing anything for us. I want to see something tangible out of it."

She doesn't consider me inspiring others to be something tangible or useful, as I implied that is my main goal with it.

So, this is where you come in. Any person I meet, I am great at making them think. That's what I am good at. My parents and I have years under our belt, along with some of my friends, and they've developed this natural barrier against me with my thoughts and concepts. I was hoping that any of you on this forum who believe I made you think, even for a heartbeat, and gave you some form of inspiration from my ideas in metaphysics to mathematics, could you post (PM/email if you want too) either a sentence to a couple paragraphs of how I made an impact in your life, as small as it may of been.

I plan to get all my friends to write something, along with many of the students who I have befriended at school these past couple years, along with the faculty. There are also many other people in my community who I can think who would surely have something to say.

I then want to take all of these comments and put them into a packet, so I can give my mother [and father] something tangible of what I have done with my time, intelligence, and passion.

I think this may be the spark to help my parents wake up a little, at least to who their son is and capable of. And heck, it could even save their marriage.

It occurred to me that it may not be myself who makes that spark in them, but all of you! Thank you everyone so much who helps me on this. This really has been the number one thing bringing me down on a daily basis for a long time as I love them so so much. Namaste.

Note: If you can address me as Gregor in the third person, and leave your first name if you can, or at least an initial(s). It sounds better than a username!
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Old 11-22-2008, 04:24 PM   #28
333mark333
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Default Re: A favor to ask to all at Avalon!

Gregor

Embrace your Karmic experiences. These are some of your most powerful times, so much growth will occur due to you reaching for Self as your position in your family home becomes Depressing. Your Parents are Teaching you about you, they are initiating your strengths and weaknesses through social experiences.

My friend you are way beyond most and you are so young. For your Self Awareness you chose to have a social experience that would Push your Buttons and challenge you, this would bring self inquiry as to who, what , where , why and how?

You are the Master of your Blue-Print, play the game and like the pied piper you will be followed.

For your parents- Your son is well received!! his intelligence and wisdom is delightful. The child grows.....maybe beyond your comprehension.

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Old 11-22-2008, 11:07 PM   #29
Dantheman62
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Default Re: A favor to ask to all at Avalon!

Get a job!
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Old 11-22-2008, 11:12 PM   #30
GregorArturo
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Default Re: A favor to ask to all at Avalon!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dantheman62 View Post
Get a job!
I have a job! It's called co-owning an art gallery during a failing economy, and well the luxury business is a bitch then. I've been losing money, making zero bucks my friend.
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Old 11-22-2008, 11:24 PM   #31
Dantheman62
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Default Re: A favor to ask to all at Avalon!

So get a different job, HaHa, I shouldn't talk actually because I'm not working nor have I in a very long time, oops, nevermind I guess I'm being alittle sarcastic towards you, sorry! I've been through the schooling already for electronics, and am factory trained on 4 different types of mammography x-ray machines and 3 types of urological surgery tables, but can't get a job, at least locally!

Last edited by Dantheman62; 11-22-2008 at 11:37 PM.
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Old 11-23-2008, 12:15 AM   #32
Deoxyan
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Default Re: A favor to ask to all at Avalon!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dantheman62 View Post
So get a different job, HaHa, I shouldn't talk actually because I'm not working nor have I in a very long time, oops, nevermind I guess I'm being alittle sarcastic towards you, sorry! I've been through the schooling already for electronics, and am factory trained on 4 different types of mammography x-ray machines and 3 types of urological surgery tables, but can't get a job, at least locally!
get a job!!
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Old 11-23-2008, 12:40 AM   #33
GregorArturo
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Default Re: A favor to ask to all at Avalon!

Quote:
Originally Posted by 333mark333 View Post
Gregor

Embrace your Karmic experiences. These are some of your most powerful times, so much growth will occur due to you reaching for Self as your position in your family home becomes Depressing. Your Parents are Teaching you about you, they are initiating your strengths and weaknesses through social experiences.

My friend you are way beyond most and you are so young. For your Self Awareness you chose to have a social experience that would Push your Buttons and challenge you, this would bring self inquiry as to who, what , where , why and how?

You are the Master of your Blue-Print, play the game and like the pied piper you will be followed.

For your parents- Your son is well received!! his intelligence and wisdom is delightful. The child grows.....maybe beyond your comprehension.

Thanks for sharing Mark. I never thought of the whole push your buttons concept. It makes sense.


I still don't get where the whole get the job thing came in. Seems pretty off topic in my opinion. I'm just gonna keep focusing on my big presentation I am having next month. That's my priority.
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Old 11-23-2008, 07:57 AM   #34
asteram
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Default Re: A favor to ask to all at Avalon!

I'm quite a bit older than you, Gregor, but went through the same thing with my parents.

One thing I can assure you of is that no relationship changes until both parties agree to it changing, consciously or unconsciously. You will not succeed in changing others to your value system, though it is possible to force them to give the appearance of changing.

I have been largely self employed in my life; to my parents this was unacceptable, the only acceptable life was to have a good job working for someone else.

I have always pursued creative paths in my work; to my parents this is meaningless as they are not even remotely creative.

Spirit, personal growth, and the search for truth have been a central tenet of my life, again meaningless to my parents, whose idea of spirituality is attending church regularly and who have no concept of work on one's self or personal growth.

Regardless of the success of my various endeavors, whether monetary or public acknowledgment, I didn't have a corporate position or government job, with medical insurance and a pension plan, so it was without value to my parents.

My values have never been material or consumerist. Those are the only values my parents recognize.

I'm now in my mid-fifties, my parents are in their eighties. I have grown and changed and continue to do so; they are still where they were fifty years ago.

None of this bothers me even slightly any more. It would have been great to have their approval, understanding, and support but they were and are simply incapable of it. I love them and let them be however they are. They do not want to change and are not going to change at my request any more than I am going to change for them.

As far as getting others' backing and approval to show to your parents that you are indeed "doing something" I don't think that will help much. I am quite happy with my accomplishments and have gotten plenty of praise and recognition for them, but those accomplishments are not anything my parents are capable of recognizing or understanding.

Should you succeed in getting them to attend your presentation, they would likely be bored to tears and not get it at all. I'd suggest don't bother; at least don't expect them to get it.

Kary Mullis, who won the Nobel Prize for discovering the polymerase chain reaction, writes about how his mother still sends him little clippings from the paper when she reads something about DNA. She doesn't get it and isn't going to.

The only way I could ever have gotten their approval would have been to accept their value system, which would have meant giving up my own and living a life that would be a long, soul-deadening nightmare to me.

Someone noted earlier in the thread that some of us choose our parents because we want the fortuitous combination of genetics they are bringing together. I'm sure this was true in my case and it likely is in yours too.

It is simply going to be impossible to be true to yourself and meet with your parents' approval both. Get used to it. Just do your best to meet with your own approval. You really don't need anyone else's if you have that, and if you don't no one else's opinion matters anyway.
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