A day in the mountains: a tale of forgiveness

[Bill Ryan]

Bill thanks for sharing

I also read Richard's butterfly lady story and commented on it because he shared a piece of his heart and soul in that story. You now have done the same with this story.

I personally think if PA is to grow and gain strength, it will be from posts such as this one. When one shows us a bit of their soul and is willing to step from the shadows we all grow exponentially.

OK - here's another. :)

A different kind of story. Think Cliffhanger (with Sylvester Stallone) - with a happier outcome.

When I was 26, I went to the Alps for the first time with my friend, Dave (a real but suitably anonymous name). We went to the Dolomites in Northern Italy to climb Sassolungo:

http://projectavalon.net/Sassolungo_1.jpg


And this is what I looked like then.


http://projectavalon.net/Bill_Ryan_23.jpg


Dave was a year older than me, and had been to the Alps once before. So he was the expert. I deferred to his experience.

We climbed the mountain, and reached the top at sunset. I think it was the first British ascent of the thing by the route we did. We were traveling very light. Dave had explained to me that saving weight was of utmost importance. So we had almost nothing with us. Between us we had one little rucksack, a couple of bars of chocolate, one water bottle, one compass, one head torch (flashlight), our climbing gear, and that was about all.

With a mountain like that, the only way down is to rappel (abseil) - over and over again. We had to descend about 1,500 ft (450 m) using two 150 ft (45 m) ropes. To do that, you tie the two ropes together, loop them round a strong anchor point in the rock, slide down the doubled rope, pull one end down, and then repeat the procedure 10 times. To make sure you don't slide off the end of the doubled rope, you always tie a knot in it: just like with a thread when sewing.

Should be simple in principle. You just have to take care. All rock climbers reading this will understand.

http://projectavalon.net/Sassolungo_2.jpg

All was well for two or three rappels. Then it got dark. No problem. Dave put the head torch on and went down first after I had already attached myself to the descent rope. He would call up "OK! I'm safe!" when he'd reached the bottom of the rope, and was on another little ledge where we could repeat the process. I would then feel my way down, although I could not see. It was okay.

Then the torch bulb blew.

It was very dark, we were half way down a very steep cliff, and we had no spare bulb. I swore, and started looking around to see how we could spent the night on the ledge in some semblance of survival-comfort until the sun rose in the morning.

But Dave was fumbling with the ropes. "What are you doing?" I said.

"I'm going down", he replied. "It's not far."

Sure enough, our little tent was down there on the glacier below us, just a few ropelengths away. Dave sold me the idea of feeling our way down the rock for a warm night's sleep - even though we could not see.

"What could go wrong?" he asked.

Well.

He went down with no torch, felt around, found a little ledge, secured himself, and called up. "OK! I'm off the rope!" he yelled.

"OK!" I yelled back, and carefully descended to join him. Clearly this was going to be okay. Dave then re-arranged the doubled rope, and started off down again. We'd be in our tent in maybe 45 minutes.

Then: "Bill!"

"Yes! You OK?"

"Bill! I've slid off the end of the rope!"

Dave sounded calm. Obviously he'd come to the end of the rope, slid off the end, and was on a nice big ledge waiting for me to come and join him.

"Good!"

"Bill! I've slid off the end of the rope! I'm hanging by my fingertips and can't hold on much longer!"

His voice was no longer calm. I immediately realized what had happened. He'd forgotten to tie the knot in the end of the rope which prevented this from ever happening. He was on a sheer cliff face, had fallen free, and was hanging by his fingertips in the dark.

The situation had suddenly become critical. It was completely out of control. We had no flashlight. Dave had fallen off the end of the rope. It was pitch black. The doubled rope, attached to the only anchor point, was above him. There was absolutely nothing that could be done.

"Help me! I can't hang on much longer!"

His voice was desperate. He was facing death within seconds.

My mind raced. There was nothing whatsoever I could do. If I stayed on that ledge, I could survive the night on my own. I'd be found the next day. Dave had blown it. He'd paid the price of a bad decision. It happens in climbing. All mountaineers know the risks, and the rules that must not be broken.

Let him die.

That thought lasted a fraction of a second. Then I realized:

He's my friend: I have to help.

I hauled up the rope, tied the missing knot, threw it down, and rappelled down almost at free-fall speed. I banged against the knot and Dave was down there in the dark below my feet. I could barely see him. He was hanging on with his final strength.

With one hand I fastened together a 6 foot daisy-chain of nylon slings and karabiners (steel snaplinks), attached one end to my harness, and lowered the other end to him. It was all I had.

It just reached him. He let go with one hand, attached the karabiner to a thin loop of string on the side of his harness designed only to hold lightweight equipment - just as he fell off.

It all held.

The rest of the night was one I prefer to forget. We were now dangling like two spiders on the end of the rope, unable to move, unable to see. It started to rain, and the steep shallow gully we were in turned into a waterfall. At about 4 am, I didn't know if we were going to make it. We'd run out of energy, run out of jokes.

But then the sun rose. It always does. What had happened was clear. Unable to see a thing the previous night, we'd started off down the wrong part of the wall, where there were no ledges to rest on at all. It could never have worked.

Suddenly, on the glacier maybe two miles away, I could see a group of tiny figures. It was another mountaineering team. I got to do what no mountaineer ever does unless in extremis: blow my whistle. It's like calling 911.

The little figures all stopped - and then started moving with urgency. Within an hour they were with us. They were a group of aspirant guides, with a master guide, on a mountain rescue training trip. They were delighted. We were winched up, and then down, like sacks of potatoes.

We spent the rest of our week's holiday eating pizza and going for walks in the meadows. We were too shocked to discuss what had happened. I never ever told Dave my dreadful, awful secret: that for a split second I was going to save myself and let him die.

I lived with that secret for ten years, and wrestled with it silently and privately. Was I weak? Was I selfish? Was I a coward? What did it mean?

Only many years later did I come to understand that this is how the body-mind tries to protect itself, like an animal. The spiritual being that I am made the decision to override. There was nothing to be ashamed of.

Ten years after, I again found myself climbing with Dave - this time on Ben Nevis, in Scotland. We had a wonderful day that went without a hitch. At the very end, walking down to the road, as happy as horses, I decided to tell him what had really happened.

He listened with intent. When I finished my confession, he said to me:

"Bill, forgive yourself. You saved my life."

[bluestflame]

thanks Bill ~☼~

[Jean-Luc]

Lovely and thrilling story Bill,
Thanks for opening your heart

[9eagle9]

Wow that is an incredible tale. Not being overly found of heights I winced most of the way through it. We all have a very strong survival instinct, a will to live. For some it kicks in and stays kicked in, for the whole life time expressing itself in ways large and small, and then for others, the heart begins to over ride the will....but you found that out for yourself.

How long was it before you went rock climbing again?

[Circles of TRUTH]

Bill,
Thankyou for sharing your story... It seems sometimes we can be our own worst enemies. Our first reaction to things is not always our most honourable but it is simply being 'human'. We often react differently to things than we imagine we will.

Also, off topic: Thank you for making Avalon available to all! That is thank you for all your time and dedication to make this site/forum work.

Sorry everyone, so back on topic...... Do you have a story to share similar to Bill's?

[Gaia]

I feel honoured to be a part of your forum Bill and I humbly thank you for sharing your story. Truly inspirational !

[Lord Sidious]

So the moral of the story is that Bill is a man like us, flawed, not perfect and struggles with making the right decisions too.
But, when it counted, he did the right thing.

[Brodie75]

What an opportunity you were given Bill
No wrong decisions though in my opinion
Just lessons
Many thanks for sharing :spider:

[Belle]

Bill, Thank you so much for sharing your story. I've been feeling awkward and a bit uncomfortable since I joined. Everyone seems to so awakened and enlightened and I just keep making mistake after mistake. Guess I'm more than a little harsh on myself.

When I was 3-1/2 years old, I was diagnosed with chronic nephritis...a kidney disease...in the days before dialysis. Was not supposed to live to age 5. Spent more time in hospitals than out until I had my last relapse at 16. Then it was gone, no one understood why, least of all the doctors.

I share this because being isolated most of my childhood, I did not learn the social skills most people do. I want to reach out but I never know what to say. Oh, I'll try, but it never comes out right. It's very hard to get close to people, and I've been told that I keep them at arms length. It think it's because I always felt like I was a mistake, that there was something wrong with me. I had learned at a very young age to treat every day as though it were my last, because that was a very real possibility...and sometimes I almost wished that would happen because I never felt like I belonged , like I fit in. I was never good enough.

By sharing your heart and admitting to being human with human thoughts and faults, I don't feel so wrong. I would have felt the same way you did and I'd like to think I would have done the same as you.

Thank you for sharing your humanity. It has helped this person more than you'll ever know.

[ViralSpiral]

Another beautiful gift. Thank you!





But then the sun rose. It always does.


"Bill, forgive yourself.



Indelible Grace - I am humbled

[Lord Sidious]

Bill, Thank you so much for sharing your story. I've been feeling awkward and a bit uncomfortable since I joined. Everyone seems to so awakened and enlightened and I just keep making mistake after mistake. Guess I'm more than a little harsh on myself.

When I was 3-1/2 years old, I was diagnosed with chronic nephritis...a kidney disease...in the days before dialysis. Was not supposed to live to age 5. Spent more time in hospitals than out until I had my last relapse at 16. Then it was gone, no one understood why, least of all the doctors.

I share this because being isolated most of my childhood, I did not learn the social skills most people do. I want to reach out but I never know what to say. Oh, I'll try, but it never comes out right. It's very hard to get close to people, and I've been told that I keep them at arms length. It think it's because I always felt like I was a mistake, that there was something wrong with me. I had learned at a very young age to treat every day as though it were my last, because that was a very real possibility...and sometimes I almost wished that would happen because I never felt like I belonged , like I fit in. I was never good enough.

By sharing your heart and admitting to being human with human thoughts and faults, I don't feel so wrong. I would have felt the same way you did and I'd like to think I would have done the same as you.

Thank you for sharing your humanity. It has helped this person more than you'll ever know.

Don't worry about making mistakes, it is an opportunity to learn from them.
I have been wrong before and I will be wrong again, it isn't a big deal.
As long as we can extract the lesson from the experience and move on.
Oh and by the way, there are more misfits here than you may realise now, but you will see.

[eaglespirit]

Beautiful, Bill !!!
Thank You for Sharing!
Personally Experienced 'Higher' Life Lessons and Connections are sooooo Wonderfully Empowering!

Live Your Lives to the Fullest You are Willing and Able, Folks : )
We ALL have the Willingness and Abilities...just a Conscious Decision away to put this to full use : )

[K626]

I see you already had that all encompassing gaze. :bounce:

Peace

K

Few years back took the train out of Calcutta into Darjeeling and then the hill train. Did a fair bit of climbing in the foothills of (K2 iirc might have been the other one)...Quite nice getting lost and having to sleep in villages and captured by the Chinese (not so nice) and held as spies....Stayed in a monastery for a bit it was a bit close getting out as they seemed very keen on me staying. :llama:
Climbing is ace and scary in equal measure. Got rid of the asthma.

[Fractalius]

That is most definitely a great tale. Quite speechless but wanted to mention how priceless and exquisite that experience is. No one would want to go though it, but afterwards all the fruits are yours. I am not putting it right. I see how it is a different kind of story to the first, yet related. Thank you.

[Charlie Pecos]

Thank You for sharing your story Bill. It shows us all that we are, after all,only human and the choices we make are what counts.

Belle,

Thank you for sharing your story this morning. I have been feeling a little down, like I just don't fit here on the forum. Like maybe I just need to take my ball and go play by myself, just like I have had to do all my life, because I'm not "cool enough" to hang out with the other kids. I too am a little "socially disfunctional", I just always have been. I have always felt that I do not belong here on earth, and for the last year all I want to do is quit and go home. I struggle internally to keep on the path.

I want to thank you for reminding me that there are indeed others like me here.
God bless you and know that you are loved Belle.

Charlie

[bodixa]

oh my... life is so bitter sweet, yinny and yangy, and grey in between.

Thanks Bill. You changed a lot of our worlds without knowing it, and maybe we don't stop to thank you enough for helping us let the light in.

[bilko]

Thank you for confiding in us Bill, that was the perfect lesson at the perfect time.
You made my cheeks glow with a little burst of emotion.

[KosmicKat]

Thank you for telling us about this Bill. I hope that none of us reading this will ever lose sight of the possibility that we may be obliged to choose between the physical self (all too aware of its' own mortality) and the more durable part of us. Perhaps an apt comparison would be a blacksmith - for some strikes there is only a tiny window of time when the temperature of the work will be right for the blow, and the blow has to be directed exactly if the work is not to be marred.

[Carrera]

Thanks for sharing, Bill!

[Nenuphar]

Thank you for sharing your story, Bill. I found it quite moving - made me tear up!

[TigerLilly]

Thank you Bill for sharing your very moving story. We all wonder how we would act in the moment, when given the choice between saving ourselves and helping another.

I was reading your story during my tea break at work and having trouble controling my feelings, then when Belle shared her story it finished me and I had to run off to the loo!

Thank you Belle, I am very glad you are here with us. I have made lots of mistakes too!

TigerLilly

[red_rose]

Bill I think you're lovely :bounce:

[pugwash84]

wow thats crazy scarey stuff, but to think that someone is alive because of you and that you put your friend first is amazing. Not all would have done that.

[Marie]

Thank you Bill for your heart-felt sharing. What an amazing story and so beautifully expressed. I felt it and have learned something from it. You inspire....




Belle,

Thank you for sharing your story this morning. I have been feeling a little down, like I just don't fit here on the forum. Like maybe I just need to take my ball and go play by myself, just like I have had to do all my life, because I'm not "cool enough" to hang out with the other kids. I too am a little "socially disfunctional", I just always have been. I have always felt that I do not belong here on earth, and for the last year all I want to do is quit and go home. I struggle internally to keep on the path.

I want to thank you for helping me to see that there are indeed others like me here.
God bless you and know that you are loved Belle.

Charlie



Charlie and Belle,

I am just like you. I feel the same things that you are expressing all the time and struggle with being on Earth also and have always felt like a social 'misfit'. My feeling a 'misfit' has led me to look for something deeper than the superficial of this world that seems to entertain so many. Our humanity connects us all and how beautiful when we share it with each other like Bill has done here. Connecting hearts in 'community' like this one is doing is what is important in my opinion. It is the only thing that matters really.

We are all in this together and very much loved....

:o

[Dennis Leahy]

... I've been feeling awkward and a bit uncomfortable since I joined. Everyone seems to so awakened and enlightened and I just keep making mistake after mistake. Guess I'm more than a little harsh on myself.
...
... I always felt like I was a mistake, that there was something wrong with me. I had learned at a very young age to treat every day as though it were my last, because that was a very real possibility...and sometimes I almost wished that would happen because I never felt like I belonged , like I fit in. I was never good enough.
...



... I have been feeling a little down, like I just don't fit here on the forum. Like maybe I just need to take my ball and go play by myself, just like I have had to do all my life, because I'm not "cool enough" to hang out with the other kids. I too am a little "socially disfunctional", I just always have been. I have always felt that I do not belong here on earth, and for the last year all I want to do is quit and go home. I struggle internally to keep on the path.
...

Charlie

Bill, that is an amazing story, both as a physical adventure story and a story of spiritual adventure. Thanks so much for sharing it, and for sharing yourself.

Charlie posted on another thread the other day, just opened up his heart and gave the biggest cyber-bear hug in history, to someone who really needed it, and I just basked in the glow. Wherever you are, Charlie, that's where I want to hang out too. :~)

I'd much rather have one Belle and one Charlie to hang out with that a thousand (usually self-proclaimed) "cool" or "enlightened" people who lack compassion and humility. Thanks for being here!

Dennis

[write4change]

Both Bell's and Bil'ls Story

The issues of mistakes is never ending. If reincarnation is the way of the universe, mistakes are both planned and part of the process. Learning is eternal and it appears that the Eternal broke into universes and dimensions to continue to learn it all which is always expanding. It is not just that the answers are always changing, the questions are always changing. If you know nothing, and don't know what you do not know, you can't even ask good questions.

Who do you save and when and why? Knowing who I think Bill is--the even deeper process is that Bill could not have lived with himself if he made the other choice. He may not have known that then but he knows that now. What we are taught is that is it shameful to think thru almost anything. Most of the people on this site, I bet would have substantial savings for every time they were told, "You think too much." What I love is the deepening process of thought and seeing how it builds the character into someone like Bill. These are the people you trust.

Bell, and such a good choice of name, see you are beautiful and part of you at least knows it. Bell those who choose to be born with defects for whatever reason come with a big purpose in front of their face. What if you were the two headed girl who is now fourteen. Two heads, two minds, a shared heart, and one womb. Who will love her and understand her and fulfill her? Who agreed to be such unique parents? Bell, you are already a miracle for a lifetime of celebration.

In the early 70s, my first husband had me committed to a mental institution for not being content with a woman's role. Then that was classified as a mental illness just like being gay. He was also a doctor and my husband. So he had three legal reasons he could have me committed without due process. In fact, there were no patient rights then so there was no due process. So people like Frances Farmer could be lobotomized by their mother's judgment. I was one of the first dissolutions in California. I didn't want alimony, I just wanted him to pay me back for putting him through medical school and of course he wanted to pay nothing, not even child support if he could escape. Thus, I am in a mental institution until I consent or go crazy from being there.

So who did I get for a therapist? A woman who had broke her neck skiing. She is in a huge wheelchair and attached to a respirator. She has some movement in one arm and can sort of write with this big metal attachment. Talking to someone who speaks with the mechanics of a respirator is unnerving when you have no experience with anything---I am 26. I am almost rendered speechless by this confrontation. I maybe in a pain but it is nothing to what I am confronted with. I wanted another therapist.

So -- you -- would-- deny me --a life--a job--because---you cannot--face --- pain-----yours- or--anyone--else's.

I have since done about 10 years of therapy with all kinds of different viewpoints and techniques--most of them worthless.

But that therapy, everyday facing what is the reality of pain and being all you can be in any way you can be---has stayed with me all my life.

After all this, I became a nurse. And as a nurse, I can tell you -- you have no idea how many lives you touched and in how many ways being so severely ill so young and so helpless. Many people asked many questions of themselves and each other.

Go in peace, you have already served much in the process of lifting humanity.

[9eagle9]

Belle And Charlie Pecos,

It seems to me that you may be socially dysfunctional only because you didn't learn the little social intrigues, games, and poses (poser behaviors) that constitutes what we know as social interactions. Social Engineering Those are little fronts and armors humans put up. That's where the lack of 'enlightenment' lives at.

You are more appreciated for your authenticity and your honest from the self expression than any sort of cool behaviors could replace.

One can swing a bat but it doesn't necessarily mean they are a player.

[Mystique]

Thank you for sharing that with us Bill. You are quite gifted with the story telling; I felt I was dangling on the rope there with you two. I am not sure what I would have done in that situation, but your story gives me strength. Maybe I will remember it at a time when it counts.

It was interesting, and timely, reading your, Belle, and Charlie's stories. I woke up this morning feeling a deep pain in my heart - the one I have spent a lifetime avoiding. Not being able to remember a week in my childhood where I wasn't hit, beaten with a belt or verbally berated, I built a wall around my heart. This morning I was asking my heart to forgive me for building a barrier between my thinking self and my feeling self. Then I went to the computer and read these stories. I guess we all have different paths to the same heart.

Reminds me of a forum member's signature: "Sometimes a person finds their destiny on the road they took to avoid it" The International.

[Belle]

Wow! Went to work for a few hours (like I said to Charlie, don't you hate it when work interferes with time spent here), came back and am overwhelmed with the love and support.

We all have dark places within us where we try to hide our dysfunction, our hurts, our fears from the world. Only in such an aptly named and magical place called Avalon can we bare our deepest secrets and find love.

:grouphug:

[WhiteStar]

"Bill, forgive yourself. You saved my life."


Just read this post Bill, not a pleasant thing to admit to anyone, least of all your friend.

What a wonderful reply he gave you.
Never would have expected that, amazing!

If it interests you, the signature I use is related to your story.

I was in sales and marketing many years ago and there were many one-liners that could create enthusiasm and motivate people. i read hundreds of them.

I came across a picture postcard, displaying a climber at the top of a snow covered mountain peak, with a beautiful scenic view behind him. He was standing there on his own and bending down to give a helping hand to his friend below. The message was written across the bottom of the picture...

"There is no greater excercise for the Heart, than to reach down and lift others up"

I have never seen a message which moves me as that one does.

I tried to find the author when I got my first PC, but never did.

Thanks for relating your story Bill.

Best wishes,
WhiteStar
~~~~~~~~~~

[Limor]

Very inspiring!

victor hugo wrote:


“In each age men of genius undertake the ascent. From below, the world follows them with their eyes. These men go up the mountain, enter the clouds, disappear, reappear, People watch them, mark them. They walk by the side of precipices. They daringly pursue their road. See them aloft, see them in the distance; they are but black specks. On they go. The road is uneven, its difficulties constant. At each step a wall, at each step a trap. As they rise the cold increases. They must make their ladder, cut the ice and walk on it., hewing the steps in haste. A storm is raging. Nevertheless they go forward in their madness. The air becomes difficult to breath. The abyss yawns below them. Some fall. Others stop and retrace their steps; there is a sad weariness. The bold ones continue. They are eyed by the eagles; the lightning plays about them: the hurricane is furious. No matter, they persevere.”

and i say:
if i were yours or his mother i would have killed you.

Thanks for the exhilarating story! to climb a mountain,to fall from a mountain (in the dark hours of the night ),to have to make a crucial decision on your friend's life and act upon it,(and go grab a pizza when it all ends :) thats one hell of an experience that have probably had an effect on you for the rest of your life..


"Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him." ~Aldous Leonard Huxley

Who knows Bill,maybe some of your good judgments of today come from that one experience when you climbed the sassolango with your friend Dave.

Be blessed,

Limor

===EDIT====

To all the people and responsers on Belle and Charlie,i am greatfully humble at being at your presence.i get a great strength from your words and sharing your thoughts and feelings.i recognize myself in it as well.

Love to you all

[Fred Steeves]

That's one hell of a cliffhanger story Bill, have you ever wondered looking back if you and your friend planned the event before ya'll were born?

Great stories from others as well, makes me very happy to be one of the misfits here on the island of misfit toys.

Love you all and Cheers,
Fred S.

[scott12133]

Loved it Bill! But let me guess,you took off your hat for the picture because I always thought you were born with your hat.:cool:

[mojo]

Thank you, your the type of fellow that you wouldn't mind sharing a foxhole with in the heat of battle.

[Limor]

:offtopic:

To Belle,Charlie,Marie,Dennis,Write4change,Mystique and others that are very much like us. may i dedicate this to you..


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6Zqpf0FELM&feature=player_embedded

O.k ,

:focus:

[MorningSong]

Thank-you once again, Bill, for sharing another of your moments in time.

[DianeKJ]

Namaste Dear Bill...
Things in our world are never simply black or white. It is the grey areas that define our characters and where we get all the blessed and sometimes painful learning.

Thank you for sharing that part of your journey with us.
-Di

[Lord Sidious]

Thank You for sharing your story Bill. It shows us all that we are, after all,only human and the choices we make are what counts.

Belle,

Thank you for sharing your story this morning. I have been feeling a little down, like I just don't fit here on the forum. Like maybe I just need to take my ball and go play by myself, just like I have had to do all my life, because I'm not "cool enough" to hang out with the other kids. I too am a little "socially disfunctional", I just always have been. I have always felt that I do not belong here on earth, and for the last year all I want to do is quit and go home. I struggle internally to keep on the path.

I want to thank you for reminding me that there are indeed others like me here.
God bless you and know that you are loved Belle.

Charlie

Charlie, that is the exact reason you fit in here, because you don't fit in.
I have never been able to fit in anywhere in this life. Whatever group I was with, I either never felt like a ''real'' member, or I was on the fringe.
I always ended up leaving for other pastures.
I too don't want to be where I am, but I am stuck for now. Sometime in the past I was amongst the stars and now I am stuck here, whether by choice or not, I am not sure.
But anyways, you will find you are in the majority here as we all present dissenting views on any and every subject you could think of, that puts us all into that group automatically.
And don't think of running off anywheres, Lord Vader can find you no matter where you go.
He will drag you back here, you know that, don't you?

[seko]

what a story! and what an experience. Thanks for sharing that, fear and happiness all at the same time! good that you are still alive to tell the story.
There is a reason why you are here with us Bill and vice versa.

Cheers,

seko

[Noble Hops]

Thanks to Bill (and Richard) for sharing these very personal stories lately. I wish I had one as moving off the top of my head.

Bill, I know you're an Englishman, but you look very Scottish in that old B&W photo you posted. Am I right?

[Star Gazer]

Hope you put all of this down in a book someday, Bill. Good stuff.

[Lord Sidious]

Thanks to Bill (and Richard) for sharing these very personal stories lately. I wish I had one as moving off the top of my head.

Bill, I know you're an Englishman, but you look very Scottish in that old B&W photo you posted. Am I right?

Ryan is an Irish name, so I would suspect that you are close, but you got the wrong branch of the tree.

[Chicodoodoo]

I am astounded by this story, that Dave slid off the rope and caught himself by his fingertips, while climbing a cliff face in the dark.

I am really astounded by this story, that Bill could rescue Dave, with the seconds ticking away, while climbing a cliff face in the dark.

Most of all, I am utterly astounded by this story, that these two fools are climbing a cliff face in the dark! Without even a spare lamp!!

Don't ever let me catch you doing that again! :shocked:

[sandy]

Beautiful Sharing Bill, Belle, Charlie and Everyone,

Makes me think that sometimes when we can't seem to save ourselves and we reach out to others who need our help, we in essence begin the process of saving ourselves and humanity!

[Sir Eltor]

LOl burnt my pizza pie in the oven. Twas tractor- beamed to the page, but who cares? That was intenselly , insightfully , beautiful . Oh ya and RAD!!! thanks a heap. Thank a You.

[damian]

I would like to share a life changing experience. Do you remember the movie "City Slickers" when they talk about what was the best day of their life and what was the worst? My best day and my worst day turned out to happen all at once. I had just turned twenty-five and was working for my family's waste paper and commercial refuse company in Baltimore, Maryland. I was waiting for the last truck to come in so that I could go home. Four men entered the front office and asked if we were still open. I knew immediately that something was not right as one of the men had a long coat on and kept his back to me. They asked if I was the owner's son and I replied yes. At this point the man with his back to me pulled a gun from the coat pocket as the the man closest to me reached up and spun me against the wall. My pants pocket was ripped open as they searched me for money. I was marched into the back offices as they ransacked desks and offices. Instead of feeling fear I was angry. Angry that I was being violated, angry that my space had been invaded. It had not dawned on me that I might be in danger, life threatening danger. After the robbers finished taking any and everything of value that they could find, I was pushed into a middle office and made to sit at a desk which they couldn't open. I was told to open the desk drawer but I didn't have the key. Using the adrenalin coursing through my body, I ripped open the drawer. After they emptied the contents, three of the robbers walked out toward the front leaving just me sitting in the chair and the guy with the gun. Needless to say my anger had been replaced with terror. I felt the gun at the back of my head and a sixth sense told me to move my head as I heard a loud explosion behind my right ear. I felt the bullet enter my back and travel through me down toward my abdomen. I looked down for a hole from the exit wound but there wasn't any and no blood. I was confused. The bullet had entered my right shoulder, shattering it, passed through my lung, broke my rib, nicked my esophagus and just missed my aorta and stopped behind my diaphragm. My body had immediately gone onto shock and while I was acutely aware of what just happened nothing hurt, yet. I looked up as the gunman paused and looked back at me. I slumped down in the chair and he kept moving out the door. I picked up the phone and called the operator and asked for a priest and an ambulance, in that order.

On the way to the hospital I made a deal with the "big guy"( or woman or great spirit ) that if I lived I would not hate or seek revenge on my assailants. I received last rites two times and it was touch and go for several days. Three weeks later I was picking three out of the four assailants out of a line up. They received 10 to 20 years for attempted murder and armed robbery. Six months after the trial, I received a call that one of the defendants had been granted a mistrial on a technicality. I said that I would testify if I could speak with the judge before the trial began. I told the judge that as the victim, I preferred to let him go. The judge said no and we started the trial. Twenty minutes into the trial the judge asked the defendant to stand. He pointed to me and said that I had requested his release instead of sending him back to prison and he was releasing him.

Getting shot was a terrible experience. Learning to forgive someone who had tried to kill you was a life changing lesson that has served me well over the last 30 years. Definitely the best and worst day of my life. I believe that we are given opportunities learn "life lessons" from the things that happen to us as we go through this life experience. I feel blessed to have gotten this one right.

[Charlie Pecos]

Hi Damian,

Wow! A lucky escape for you young man! Your story is a powerfull lesson of forgiveness.

What we hold against others, we hold against ourselves.

What we release others from, we release ourselves from.

That is where our emancipation as a civilization lies: forgiving each other for mistakes- big and small.

Thank you for sharing.

[giovonni]

Great story Bill, its always amazing hearing these real life stories, it is the stuff that makes one appreciate every moment in life there after :thumb:

[Feren]

Hello, Bill:
Thank for sharing another interesting post. Here is waht i think:

Guilt is one of the heaviest burdens that traditional morality has put on our shoulders. Now we can let it go because we don't need it anymore: we no longer need to be terryfied in order to survive. Guilt is fear for our own dark side... and we are always afraid of what we ignore. But if I have learned anything during my life, it is that selfawareness requires us to be brave.

I noticed that once you overcame your guilt, you felt brave enough to reveal the secret. But your true self was brave much before, you just didn't see that you actually SAVED HIS LIFE!

[Darla Ken Jensen Pearce]

You are an incredibly beautiful person with a wonderful spirit. Thank you for sharing your story. I loved reading every sentence and breath of it ; ) xoxox

[New Dawn]

That's really nice Bill, thanks for sharing - and everyone else too, I have been reading! Maybe I'll share something more personal with my Avalon friends in the future, but the stories that currently leap to mind are not ones I'm ready to share!

I hope everyone enjoys their day :)

[deadpeoplestuff]

Bill: gripping tale ('scuse the pun) the fact of the matter is this; you simply considered your options (although somewhat limited) and that Dave would have likely died as a result, meant that for you, this was not an option. My point being, you hadn't actually considered leaving him to his fate as an option, just an outcome. I wonder, was Dave's reply to you in Scotland an indication of how he may have reacted, had the roles been reversed? Hold that thought. As I would put it to you, that the only answer to that question is that he would have done likewise; - otherwise you would have never have been climbing buddies in the first place. You both chose wisely...

[tonymo]

although i do not know the poeple involved, this story will stay with me and have a profound impact on my life!

[Budaheart]

Belle and Charlie Pecos...
I know how it feels ....the societies we live in have unfortunately increased in many of us these feelings of not being good enough, not wanted, not appreciated, not this and that.
It is really painful to try to overcome these conditioning, but if you could step out of that box, were we have fallen, and contemplate yourself from your essence, then you would see the beauty and perfection that YOU ARE...see the conditioning as a suit that you´ve been told it is who you are, and simply take it off, drop it down...it is not you.
You are as glorious and gorgious and amazing as anyone else here and there and everywhere...
We just need to start living what we already are....
much love to you both and thank you Bill for this amazing experience and how it allows Spirit to accept and embrace humanness
Barbara

[jjl]

OK, I've got one, when I was 18 I bought a shiny new moped instead of a car, I thought I was a hot shot. I drove it to a community college daily in a town away from the one I lived. At one point traveling over a bridge, a big stinky truck cut me off, puking buckets of black smoke in my face. I was already having a bad day that morning. When the traffic came to a stop light, having no motorcycle safety training, I pulled up between the cars and what luck, pulled up to the slob that cut me off. He looked at me and rolled down his window, "Do you know how dangerous it is to creep between cars like that?" He bellowed. "Someone could open a door or even just throw a cigarette on you," he continued to holler.

I looked at him with complete contempt and said"F*** you".
He called me a little Sh** and the light turned green and he drove off, as I screamed "Fix your F***ing muffler!"
I continued to navigate my way down the main street of the small city, but there was a lump of hate in my throat. I didn't like it and tried to justify it away, but I couldn't. "Your Fault" I told myself as I headed toward my school. About halfway there, I saw the same truck, turning around on a street headed back my way. I followed him till he slowed down. I pulled up to his rolled up window. "I'm sorry, " I told him. "I'm having a very bad day, and I took it out on you. And I thank you for your advice."
"I was just turning around when I realized you were the same bike I cut off on the bridge. I'm sorry I was so rude, my muffler just broke off this morning and I was daydreaming how to fix it.
In those days, strangers didn't hug but we were both moved when we bid good by.
Flash forward a month. As a dumb girl I had a bad habit of turning up at places I didn't belong. I was in a sleazy bar by myself, (again with my moped, at night) when I was coming upstairs from the downstairs dance floor. A creepy guy blocked my way and for I realized I was defenseless. Just then I felt a second person approach me and I stiffened as he through his arm around me, "Back down Rudy, she's with me."
I turned my head to see none other than the same muffler-less truck driver! When he found out I was on my moped, he insisted on putting it in his truck and bringing me home. He lectured me on bike safety all the way, believe it or not, I never got his name.

[mrmalco]

An example of a mistake ... excuse the fact its in verse, I wrote it up that way a few years go.


THe Three Sikhs

Three Sikhs chased me
once in Delhi.
The first, a scooter cabbie
I’d just paid
- and tipped –
but miserly it seemed.

He started shouting,
running after me.
Two others joined him.
How embarrassing!

I scuttled up the hotel stairs …
into my room …
furtive, breathless …
safe however
– so I hoped.

But it was not to be!
The manager came knocking on my door
“Stewart Sahib - Stewart Sahib
please come downstairs immediately.”

I slouched into Reception
… rummaging my sweaty pockets …
grudging to increase that tip.

The three Sikhs thereupon,
in all solemnity
entrusted me my passport,
travellers’ cheques
and money.
I’d dropped them in the cab.

[Cottage Rose]

I am astounded by this story, that Dave slid off the rope and caught himself by his fingertips, while climbing a cliff face in the dark.

I am really astounded by this story, that Bill could rescue Dave, with the seconds ticking away, while climbing a cliff face in the dark.

Most of all, I am utterly astounded by this story, that these two fools are climbing a cliff face in the dark! Without even a spare lamp!!

Don't ever let me catch you doing that again! :shocked:

hehehehehe :director: I'm glad someone's mentioning that! Quite the daredevils weren't they? I was on the edge of my chair.........!!!!!!!!!

[enoch]

* deleted *

[Reinhard]

Thank you Bill for sharing! .....Yes, that's what it's all about!
Reinhard

[blackgaius34]

Courage and forgiveness seem to be such rare qualities in our world these days. I thank you for sharing this and I'm glad you're still here with us to remind us what it means to go through the experience of being human.

[taurad]

Greetings Avalonians,

that is a heart-warming story Bill...i'm happy u both well @ the end of the day...and more importantly still friends after your opening-up

i've been struggling lately, with the concept of our final destiny...this deriving from Charles' tranquility chatting with you in the interview, while saying he's got a few years left...all this emotionless from my perspective (i've asked Charles about this, but has probably been too busy, since the news of his own website)...

the question i have been raising to myself (and please jump in and participate, 'cos i cannot figure this out alone) is:

1. had we known our path, final destiny, how much would this knowledge shape our present life, differentiate it from the past, and how would the future be from then on???

i'm also assuming that if you're born with this knowledge built-in already, rather than finding it later on, in the midst of a battling lifestyle, would we go the length we go now into altruism, heroism etc.. ?

let me know what u think

be well

[Tangri]

I am astounded by this story, that Dave slid off the rope and caught himself by his fingertips, while climbing a cliff face in the dark.

I am really astounded by this story, that Bill could rescue Dave, with the seconds ticking away, while climbing a cliff face in the dark.

Most of all, I am utterly astounded by this story, that these two fools are climbing a cliff face in the dark! Without even a spare lamp!!

Don't ever let me catch you doing that again! :shocked:
Chikododoo,
When I was 19, I was at bus station with my peers when suddenly I urged a feeling that I was invincible .
I put my left foot under the bus's wheel and allowed it pass through over it.
After that day no one/and myself caught me doing same thing.

[Asphel]

Thank you so much, Bill, for that great story. Incredibly inspirational and moving!

Love to all!

[Ol' Roy]

Hi Bill,

What an awesome story! What incredible courage it took to save your friend! We all have fleeting thoughts like that. What courage it took to tell Dave after 10 years. Something of a burden and guilt, that you had been carrying around for 10 years. I am betting, that you found a real REALSE! The bottom line, you saved, your friend's life.

I had the opportunity to save my brother's life twice. The first time, I was 6 and my brother was 4. We were playing by a rushing creek, when suddenly he fell in. The creek went into an underground culvert, that went on for 400 yards, before emptying into a larger raging creek. I don't remember exactly what happened. A super strength took over me(adrenaline) I guess. But, the next thing I knew, we were safely ashore.

The next time we were at the lake on a dock. He couldn't swim yet, but proceeded to jump off the end in about 7 feet of water, anyway. He sunk like a rock. I couldn't smim very well either. Again, I don't remember what happened. I jumped in after him. He then struggled and held us both down. I do remember having enough presenace of mind to start walking toward shore, with him on my shoulders. I don't know where that instinct came from. Divine Guidance, perhaps! We made it to the shallows, both gasping for air.

Unfortunately, I couldn't save him a 3rd time. When he was 35, he was run over by a car and killed. Drunk driver! To beat it all, he was living with me at the time.

Bill, all we can do is the BEST we can under given circumstances.

Thanks for sharing your story. We are all human (I think?)lol.

Hope, you are enjoing the UFO Congress.

Take care,
Ol'Roy

[11alone]

great story to share, thanks bill :)

[Davidallany]

I felt as though living the story, wonderful and thank you for being you Bill.

[Leprechaun]

Thanks for sharing Bill, shows that we are spiritual in nature.