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manny
10th May 2011, 20:29
has any one had a argument.
where you have at the end of the argument,dismissed this person.
and did not want to know them again.

only to realised that you may have been wrong.
you could have become the best of friends.
just wrong argument ,wrong time.

just because opinions differ ,that does not mean that ,that person has no meaning in your life.
we learn from each other.
we all learn from every encounter.
have we a right to say goodbye you are not welcome in my house?
yes we have.
if the person is being abusive.
or the discussion gets heated.
but for having a opinion that one or both may learn from.
well it,s up to you.
but imagine having a full house with opnions,rather than a half house.
so much to learn,so little people to teach.
open your heart and welcome diversity.
with love

ps if your children question your beliefs,would you ask them to leave.
or would you sit down and discuss it.
we find the education of life in many forms.
it may take a age of one person nagging at you,but if it meant anything in the end...
is it worth it.
thats your choice.
or we may find a answer as i have in my children.
they have humbled me.

greybeard
10th May 2011, 21:15
Your friends tell you what they perceive to be the truth, manny.
Thank God
I know all about certain things---- I would rather hear about that which has escaped me.

Some things in the past I was in avoidance of.
It was very hard for me to admit I made mistakes--- after all I was the chairman of certain high profile organizations in Scotland.

The chairman cant afford to be wrong or the whole thing falls into disrepute.

I was wrong on that---you cant build on a false premise.

So tail between my legs I admitted my errors and guess what I was forgiven and respected all the more-- not that that matters unduly.
To err is human to forgive Divine

Good subject manny

Regards Chris

g.k.r
10th May 2011, 21:18
as long as we have respect for each other debate is good, so different opinions make a whole in the end i think.,

manny
10th May 2011, 21:39
this thread has so much truth hidden between the lines.
but i have a feeling it will sink like a ship.
but like i say in my other posts.
if one person learns from this ,then it is worth it.

greybeard
10th May 2011, 21:42
Listening is an art
When you really really listen--- the mind falls silent and the energy of Higher Self comes through and it is very healing.
Not a word needs to be said.

"Men are from Mars and women are from Venus" is an eye opener of a book

Any woman will tell you that men are poor listeners
Here is why
A man wants to fix things and moments into listening he will be aware of a solution and open his big mouth.
Nil points.
A woman just wants to be listened to.

Regardless of gender some are very quick to see that a situation is recurring, thats called pattern recognition, and will seek advice.
Some will brazen it out--- but life will keep repeating the same lesson until that is accepted and positive action taken.
Some are blissfully un-aware that there is a challenge.

When I get quite a few people saying more or less the same thing I take heed.

Thank God for positive feed back--- constructive critism.

Sometimes tough love is the last resort

Chris

Flash
10th May 2011, 21:44
up to us not to let it sink

manny
10th May 2011, 21:46
what is a conversation.
two people talking?

or one talking and one doing the listening.not saying a word.

its still a conversation.

manny
10th May 2011, 21:57
think for yourself.
feel for yourself.
express yourself.
ask yourself.

debate .
if you have difficulty doing this,then stop ,refresh,and start again.

Rocky_Shorz
10th May 2011, 22:03
a child walks up to her mother and asked about the beginning of the world. The mother smiled and told how God created heaven and earth and how Adam and Eve were the first humans...

the child says when I asked Dad he said we evolved from monkeys and apes...

the mother smiled and said, that's his side of the family...


we can all disagree and still have fun in discussions... ;)

manny
10th May 2011, 22:05
a child walks up to her mother and asked about the beginning of the world. The mother smiled and told how God created heaven and earth and how Adam and Eve were the first humans...

the child says when I asked Dad he said we evolved from monkeys and apes...

the mother smiled and said, that's his side of the family...


we can all disagree and still have fun in discussions... ;)
love it....

Lord Sidious
10th May 2011, 22:06
think for yourself.
feel for yourself.
express yourself.
ask yourself.

debate .
if you have difficulty doing this,then stop ,refresh,and start again.

Thanks Mannynugget.

Let me say this,
there are those who have eyes, but do not see
and those who have ears, but do not hear.

We were given senses for a reason, let's start using them.

Rocky_Shorz
10th May 2011, 22:09
what is a conversation.
two people talking?

or one talking and one doing the listening.not saying a word.

its still a conversation.

for marriages that have lasted through time, a wise man will check the moon before answering... ;)

Belle
10th May 2011, 22:18
what is a conversation.
two people talking?

or one talking and one doing the listening.not saying a word.

its still a conversation.

My closest friendships are with those with whom a totally wonderful conversation can be shared as we sit in silence together...

greybeard
10th May 2011, 22:18
Men discussing the challenges of going golfing at the weekend.
All kinds of opinions as to how to get around dearly beloved wife.
the star comment

I set my alarm for 5am, when it goes off I say to my wife



Golf course or intercourse?

Take your sunblock--- the response

Now that is communication.

C

manny
10th May 2011, 22:20
if you where invited to a party.
and you had to sit there in the corner watching,feeling uncomfortable.
would,nt be to cool.
if some one turned on the music would you like to get up and boogey.
i know your answer,
you wanna boogey without restrictions,and still feel welcomed.
you wanna enjoy yourself.
so do it without restraint.
you are what you are.

9eagle9
10th May 2011, 23:42
Most of the conflicts arise not from golf conversation which is shared human experience and its pretty easy to share that which one is passionate about.

The conversation would take on a different energy if one of the conversants was claiming to be Arnold Palmer, and kept imposing that into the conversation.

People assume artificial roles and it causes conflict.

And they want people to accept those roles.

But roles aren't people. Not authentic or genuine

So its often times hard having a genuine experience with someone other than who they claim to be is difficult.

The role has little understanding of one's self its just a mask and it screws up big time because...it doesn't know anything about being a human. It's a script. Reality may be much diffferent. Its there to act, not converse on an intelligent humane way.

How can an ordinary human feel compelled to qualify to address such special people? Why do such varieties of special people want my attention in the first place? I'm not going to validate your role, I will validate your humanity.

People beg for acceptance of self without first accepting it in themselves. Do you want me to see YOU as special or the role you have assumed as special?

People who assume roles are challenging to speak to because it takes so much effort on their part to prop up the role. Energy that is better invested in the sharing aspect.

Not nearly as bad as they who impose roles either theirs, or another on you.

And for the one struggling to keep up its like talking to a role, a mask, a projection.

So the next time we feel there's rudeness and tension around us, or the next time one gets annoyed by another, ask yourself if you are annoyed at the person (probably not) or the role they have imposed on you. Because they so want your connection but they aren't willing to lay down what is keeping it there. That is frustrating to have someone beg from you what they don't really want.

People are often angry at me because I treat them as intelligent humans capable of understanding complex adult matters who are well capable of tackling tough issues. Should I patronize one and reinforce the role? No for my own sanity I ignore them as I can't give them what they want

And the next time one feels they were treated unfairly ask if it was the role and its opinion that was treated unfairly ...or you the person.

Humans in connection are a agreeable lot. Humans with roles tend to cause dramas. That's what roles do--they create drama.

truthseekerdan
11th May 2011, 00:10
We must learn how to switch off or temporarily ignore any subtle programming or imagery by others if we are ever going to recapture our own individual identity. Truth cannot be described and it cannot be explained. It must be experienced. When we think of ourselves as only physical beings, we eventually experience depression. If our physical being is used to attack other people, it will also harm us. However, if we willingly use our physical being in the service of others, it becomes a beautiful instrument of communication.

The only real difference there is between us is the type of language we use in expressing ourselves or the level of effort we are willing to provide to change our mind with new information. Words such as trust, balance, forgiveness and love are more than just words -- they are reality defining transformational forces. We also realize that as human beings we are not perfectly designed to understand everything. Change the things you are able to, accept the things you cannot, and have the sense to know the difference.

Namaste ~ Dan

edina
11th May 2011, 03:45
has any one had a argument.
where you have at the end of the argument,dismissed this person.
and did not want to know them again.

only to realised that you may have been wrong.
you could have become the best of friends.
just wrong argument ,wrong time.

just because opinions differ ,that does not mean that ,that person has no meaning in your life.
we learn from each other.
we all learn from every encounter.
have we a right to say goodbye you are not welcome in my house?
yes we have.
if the person is being abusive.
or the discussion gets heated.
but for having a opinion that one or both may learn from.
well it,s up to you.
but imagine having a full house with opnions,rather than a half house.
so much to learn,so little people to teach.
open your heart and welcome diversity.
with love

ps if your children question your beliefs,would you ask them to leave.
or would you sit down and discuss it.
we find the education of life in many forms.
it may take a age of one person nagging at you,but if it meant anything in the end...
is it worth it.
thats your choice.
or we may find a answer as i have in my children.
they have humbled me.

manny this happens alot, people arguing and then because they do not yet have the skills, or perhaps they've become a bit hardened inside, they write off a relationship, that may have been a potentially wonderful friendship.

I have discovered for myself that if there is a lot of "charge" good, or bad, in a relationship that the relationship has a vast potential for growth, the charge is letting me know this.

Once the charge has been balanced, very often, for me, this means the lesson has been learned.

There are levels of /teach/learining. And learning is always mutual in every relational encounter.

All relationships are opportunities to express our highest nature, if we will only exercise the opportunity.

When I pass someone on the street and smile in genuine appreciation, this is a level of teach/learning.

When I open a door for a person, or growl at the mail clerk...teach/learning...

I love the move "My Big Fat Greek Wedding." cuz it shows a great wonderful messy family. I like the messiness of the relationships, and also, that family is very real, and present. The experiences in such a family are very rich, and alive.

There is something to be said about that.

As far as what you say about the way a person handles a child questioning your beliefs. I always applaud that in any child. To me, it means they are trying to think for themselves.

I have lots of experience with kids, and being a bit of a wild child myself, somewhat rebellious, I understand that the best way to handle a child acting out is to listen to them. To listen to understand what they mean.

Great book for parenting, probably a classic, How To Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk. (http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/0380811960) I find good listening skills work great with adults, too.

manny, I agree with LS, you be a good mannynugget. :o

Lifesong
11th May 2011, 05:31
This thread must've somehow gotten off track...it started with Manny's post about letting people out of our lives over disagreements, but then a few messages in, there were some 'special' people that others were compelled to talk to ... and then people are sitting uncomfortably in a corner at a party... and then others who's eyes and ears just aren't doing them justice.

Is someone or something being poked with a stick here? What is going on? :boink:

Anyway, I've let people go out of my life before for stupid reasons, or stubborn ones - I would imagine we all have. Some I might do differently if I had it to do over, some probably not.