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Armen
6th June 2011, 16:10
On a suggestion, I started a separate thread for non-linear experiences with animals, especially crows. This was the first post I entered on the subject. It was in the Thread started by Morgaine, called "Life's journey, Coincidence, intuition, or intervention." It's a great thread.

At the end of my college experience I was introduced to a character named "Don Juan". I was going to school near LA, and a friend of mine strongly suggested I started reading Carlos Castanedas books. I did, and it changed my life. For a time all I wanted was to find someone like Don Juan to teach me how to be a seer. For anyone who has read the books, there was a lot of emphasis on paying attention to intuition, and signs, especially from animals and nature. I immediately started applying the techniques I was reading about in the books to the best of my ability, and it lead to some very interesting results.

Fast forward about a year after college, I had moved to LA. I was actually living in Venice Beach, and had gotten a job at Macy's selling men's perfume. Anyone who knows me, would know that me selling perfume at Macy's is about the equivalent to a fish looking for food on a mountain top. A bit odd, and not what you'd expect from me. I was still very heavily into the Castaneda material.

One day after a long day at work, I was waiting for a ride at the bus stop. There were many people milling about, waiting to catch a bus, all looking fairly tired and lost in thought. I was very tired from standing for eight hours, so I sat down on the curb and buried my head in my hands. Suddenly, in a most dramatic fashion, a crow came barreling across, flying low, from my left to the right, cawing fiercely. Like a cat that has heard a rustle in the brush, I perked up and listened with my whole body. In the books, Don Juan talks repeatedly about receiving the messages of nature, especially from animals. He said that if an animal crosses you from left to right, the message is very important. I had trained myself to listen.

So there I was. I couldn't see anything. I remember everything being a blur, but I was listening with all my senses. From the moment the crow got my attention, everything else happened in a flash of a second. A voice from behind echoed into my ears. "Look out Domingo!" In that moment, I looked to my left, and saw the bus coming. I had not noticed it at all, and it seemed that the driver hadn't noticed me sitting on the curb either. I jumped up and out of the way just before the bus came barreling to a screeching halt where I had sat just a moment ago. Had it not been for that voice, I would have probably gotten hit by the bus. I looked behind me, and saw a Native American man who looked to be in his sixties standing, looking at me. It had been he who had warned me.

There were a couple of things that were strange about that, aside from the obvious. I had by this time become very focused on finding a teacher who could teach me the "Way of Knowledge", just like Don Juan. A day or two before this occurrence, I had a dream that I met Don Juan, except that in the dream it wasn't Don Juan, it turned into Don Miguel Ruiz, another Toltec who became very famous and known for books like "The Four Agreements". However, the man I had seen in my dream looked very much like the man I was seeing in front of me now. The other odd thing, was that I had heard him call me "Domingo". Domingo was the name of my Mexican roomate, whom I talked to for many hours about Don Juan, and had many of Castaneda's books; just for clarification, Domingo is not my name.

The message was clear. The crow had pointed this man out to me, and I needed to ask him about sorcery and knowledge (my reference to sorcery here is the system I learned about through the Toltecs, of coming to understand that reality is a description, and can therefore be undescribed, and redescribed). It seemed totally absurd to approach this man and ask him what I felt I needed to, and my fear prevented me from talking to him. So I got on the bus (the one that almost ran me over), as it was the one I was waiting for. To my surprise, he got on the same bus. So, I decided to sit next to him and strike up a conversation. He sat down, and there was an empty seat beside him, but I was too afraid, so I stood in close proximity and just watched him, trying to figure out what to do. I decided that I would wait until he got off the bus, and then approach him. That felt safer as it would be less public. We passed stop after stop, and he didn't get off. Eventually my stop came, and he still didn't get off.

By now I was deeply invested in seeing this through, regardless of the outcome. I had become like a hunter, focused on the hunt. I was also really scared. The whole time I was having a furious conversation with myself. "What are you doing?! This is crazy!!!!!!" "The crow pointed him out to you. You can't be an idiot and waste this gift." "This is crazy!!!!!"

Stop after stop passed, and the man did not get off. A good hour and a half passed, and by now we were in Long Beach, way out of the way from where I lived. I was looking out of the window, and the neighborhood was getting more industrial and hard looking. I was starting to get very uncomfortable. On the bus went, and my man did not get off. In classic movie fashion, I was about to loose my heart when finally he did get up and exited the bus. This was my moment of truth. I stumbled on out after him. I was way out of my element. The neighborhood felt hostile, hard, and unfamiliar.

Like a cat, I felt I was stalking my target. He was walking ahead of me, and walking very fast. I realized that I couldn't catch up to him just walking, so I broke out into a slight jog. Very scared of where I was, and what I was about to do, I took my heart in my hand and called out to catch his attention. It took a few tries, but he eventually turned around. As I jogged up to his position, I tried my best to indicate that I meant no harm, and that I just needed to ask him a question. As I came upon his position, he looked at me with almost childish, curious eyes. I said, "Do you know anything about Sorcery?" He looked at me without flinching, and without hesitation or pause he said, "No." Naturally I felt disappointed, but I also had a sense that this whole experience was a test. A test in which I had to behave very impeccably. So, in the true warrior spirit that I was trying to emulate through the books, I looked at him, thanked him graciously, turned around on my heels, and walked away from him. All that time and energy for nothing. I had to accept it and not feel sorry for myself. As I walked back to the bus stop, feeling a bit scared of my surroundings, I again heard a voice behind me. "Why do you ask?" I turned around, now standing a few paces away from the man, and told him that the crow at the bus stop had pointed him out to me, so I had to ask him. When I said that, he seemed to relax a bit more, and it felt like he developed a smile within his smile. A door had opened up. With subtlety, he nodded and kind of reluctantly admitted that he did know about sorcery. He said that he apprenticed, that he had been taken into the mountains in his forties, and that now in his sixties, he would soon again go. He also told me that he couldn't talk about it, and I respected that. I asked him how I might find a teacher. His answer surprised me. I was expecting him to say that it wasn't for me, or that I would have to traverse some great distance and undergo terrible trials and tribulations before I was ready. Instead, he said, "Oh it's simple. You just find yourself an elder, ask sincerely, and they will teach you." He was so encouraging and warm, even though he seemed to be standing behind a wall of secrecy, it made me feel accepted, and that I had done the right thing. I thanked him again, sincerely, and we went on about our merry ways. I was now faced with waiting for a bus, and traveling back an hour and a half to where I lived. However this time, I did not care where I was. I was full of energy. I couldn't believe it. My rational mind would have never believed that there was a reason for me to talk to him about this subject, let alone follow him far away from where I lived. It was because I listened to the communications from nature, and my own intuition, that this incredible gift was given to me. How else would I have ever been able to share that moment with him?

Incidentally, ever since crows have played a very big role in my life. They haven't been easy on me, but they have helped me make some pretty big decisions in life....

Armen
6th June 2011, 17:18
After this relatively profound proof that intuition and non-linear communication works (referring to the first post), I was primed to take it to the next level. Every moment was about paying attention, being ready to catch the "Cubic Centimeter Of Opportunity", as Don Juan described it. My desire to become a seer did not cease. In fact, I shortly thereafter quit my job, gave all my possessions away except a suitcase of clothes, some money, and my ID, and planned to go to Mexico to find someone to study with. My roomate, who was also into Don Juan, had family in Mexico, and offered to let me stay with his folks to get my bearings. He said I would be able to find someone once I got there.

Well, I don't think he expected me to take him serious, because on the day when I approached him for info on how to get to Mexico, and how long I could stay with his family, he got kind of sheepish. I could tell right away he hadn't been serious. In fact, he scolded me for being so careless. He said, "Who you really have to watch out for is the Federales (police). They are really corrupt. You can't just go there on a whim." I, myself, was feeling quite frightened, going into a foreign country, not speaking the language, not knowing anyone, and trying to find a brujo or shaman to teach me. How much more exploitable could I make myself? So I aborted my mission. It felt like I took this big run at a giant mountain, to test if it was really there, or prove that it wasn't, and that reality was mine to determine, and at the last moment I flinched and took a hard B-line to the left.

The problem was, now I was homeless, with no job, and almost no money or prospects. What ended up happening as a result was so unexpected, that I still to this day marvel at the twists and turns life can present you with. It was really quite comical in hindsight. Instead of finding a Shaman in Mexico, I ended up joining the US Military (Navy), and getting stationed in Maine. When people asked me how I ended up in Maine, I used to tell them that I was living in LA, and that I was on my way to Mexico.

Anyway, it took several months, maybe even half a year to go from that moment when I aborted my mission, to the moment when I stepped onto the Great Lakes Boot Camp training facility. Of all days, I was assigned my division on April first. Throughout my waiting period, I never stopped searching for a relationship with Crow (the bird). Through Don Juan's books I had come to desire, no crave, an alliance with that animal. For me it symbolized that I was a part of the non-ordinary realm of reality. They were like portals into the other world.

So, for a time I ended up living with my mom again until I knew where to go next (this was before boot camp). I would go to the park across the street and contemplate. Cultivating inner silence was a very big focus of mine at the time. Everywhere I went, crows were abundant. Everywhere. Once I had enlisted in the Armed Forces, I had a few months to wait before going to Boot Camp. Restless and nervous, I found a Toltec/Shamanic workshop in Colorado, and so I decided to go. In the requirement list, they asked us to bring a feather of some kind to use in the making of a totem/power stick. I searched and searched for a crow feather, but none was to be found. Crows were all around me, but not a single feather. In fact, I was not able to find a crow feather, no matter where I went, even though I was constantly surrounded by them. This was frustrating. I felt as though they were laughing at me. I felt rejected.

Of course everything would turn around, but I could have never anticipated the manner in which the connection would be made. It wasn't until I was well into my boot camp experience that I saw my first crow feather. There we were marching up and down the streets of the base, when I noticed something very black glaring at me from a distance, to my left, on a perfectly trimmed, flawless, green, lawn. It was the only object on an otherwise spotless piece of grass. As we got closer, I confirmed that it was, in fact, a crow feather.

Back in our birthing, I cursed and lamented my fate. When I was free to roam and move about, I could not find a single feather. Now that I was unable to do anything of my own free will, it was right there staring me in the face. It couldn't have been more fitting. To make matters worse, I could see the feather on the patch of grass from the windows of my birthing on the third floor. It gnawed at me.

A day went by, and the feather was still there. I was fuming inside. The base was spotless. There was no reason in my mind why a feather should be sitting on a lawn for more than a few hours. Another day went by, and the feather was still there. So, finally, I made a pact with spirit. I said, "I take this as a test. You want to see if I am truly a warrior, and if I have the courage to walk the path of knowledge. So I tell you this. Give me one more opportunity to pass by that feather (we had never marched by it again since that first time), and I will break formation and dive for it, regardless of the consequences. If you put me on its path one more time, I will take that as a sign that you are testing me, and I will show you that I mean business. If I don't, I promise to abandon my search"

The next morning I got up extra early to get ready. I was part of a small group of people in my division who participated in what was called the "Dive Motivator". It was a poolside early morning work out opportunity for people who were considering or trying to make it into any of the Special Operation training schools. In order to qualify, you had to pass a certain test. Many of us weren't there yet, so the program was designed to help us get in shape. So, that morning we rushed to get there, as we were late. We arrived about 15 minutes after the expected time of arrival, and were immediately sent back. These guys didn't mess around. We weren't a big group. Maybe 5 or so, with a section leader. According to military protocol, we had to march to and from the facility, and we had to have the appropriate paperwork, which was the responsibility of our section leader. As we marched back, our section leader made a very odd choice. Suddenly, out of nowhere, and for no apparent reason, he made an odd turn, and took a completely different way back. I was very confused, as it seemed an odd way to get back to our birthing. We turned around another corner, and then my heart started to pound real fast. He had put me on a direct collision course with that feather. It was still there, and we were marching straight towards it. I couldn't have asked for a better opportunity. Breaking formation would be a lot easier with 5 than with 80, and I happened to be on the side nearest the feather.

Sure enough, as we passed, I dove, retrieved my feather, stuck it in my towel and quickly rejoined my division. It happened so fast, they didn't understand what was happening. However, it being a bright morning, with lots of pedestrian traffic, I was noticed by a chief, and he stopped us. We heard the dreaded "At Halt!", and froze at attention. The chief came over and inspected my belongings. He had seen me dive for something, but he couldn't figure out where or what it was. Frustrated, he decided to look for another reason to chastise us. Like a cop, he asked for our paperwork.

Incidentally, that morning, our section leader had decided not to fill it out, figuring no one would ask for it, as no one ever did. When the chief saw that, he was gleaming with joy. Now he had a real good reason to come down on us. He notified our chief, who was furious, because we made him look like an idiot, and took a huge penalty in the process.

I listened as our chief tore into our section leader. I knew that even though he was getting the blame, I would be the one who would bare the responsibility, because I'm the one who drew attention to us. Needless to say, people were very angry with me. I lost a lot of respect in the eyes of my division, but I was happy, because I had gotten my feather.

After that, it was a whole different story. Wherever I went, crows were constantly talking to me, and I found so many feathers over the course of the next few years, that I could have put an entire bird together. After a while I didn't pick them up anymore, because it was just too much. From then on it seemed that I had been accepted by the crow family, and crazy as it might sound, I listened and based many more life changing decisions on our interactions. There isn't really much to this story in terms of confirmation of how intuition is affective. More, it was just an example for me how we constantly have opportunities to give our life meaning. I was on the warrior path (not killing people). For me, having to earn that feather in the manner I did, showed me how committed I, in fact, was to this path. Had I not gone through that, I would have known that it wasn't for me, and found something else to occupy my time with. It was my desire and will that showed me what my path of heart was. No one made me do what I did. I chose it, and even suffered some negative consequences for it. I think it's vitally important to have those experiences in life, where ones commitment and passion are tested.

Forevernyt
6th June 2011, 17:25
So, did you ever find an elder?

red_rose
6th June 2011, 18:09
That was a cool story!

red_rose

red_rose
6th June 2011, 22:31
I've never looked into Don Juan before, this has stirred an interest in me.

Thanks for the thread.

Armen
7th June 2011, 03:03
So, did you ever find an elder?

Hi there Forevernyt,

to answer your question, No. I didn't. I looked far and wide. Spent a lot of money and time. I was obsessed. I wanted to find the other world. Then I wanted to find Enlightenment. On my adventures I met a lot of people who gave me little clues, which I tried to stretch out in practice like a hiker lost in the woods tries to stretch their rations. I tried so hard, and looked so furiously, I started to feel like a dog that was chasing his own tail. You ever see one of them things swirling around in a mad frenzy? That was me. Along the way I learned a lot though.

I learned a lot about the reality of what the situation is on many reservations. I learned a lot about Native/American relations. I learned a lot about my inspiration, Don Juan. you see, in the books he told Carlos Castaneda that Carlos was the last of Don Juan's kind. He was there to shut the door firmly and lock the key. At first, when I read those passages, I was furious. I was incensed. How could Don Juan abandon us, I thought. Years later, after all that chasing, I realized what he meant. I realized that he knew his way was coming to an end. His way was the way of fear. They didn't nurture you in any way. It was make it, or die. The goal was to leave the earth behind, and not become food to the Indescribable Eagle. But the world was going to change profoundly. The sacred feminine was coming in. It was going to be all about love and nurture. His, was the way of the past.

How that became relevant for me, is that I stopped chasing "abilities". I stopped trying to transcend. I started embracing myself, just as I was, and realized that it was about love. It was about learning how to love. Something was already wanting to come out of me, and I needed to give birth to it. Whether I could stalk through the forest at night in a dead run or not, whether I could bi-locate or not, all of those desires I had fell away. They became secondary, thirdary, fourthary, irrelevant to my path. I realized that my path was about love, and human beings, and relationships. My path was not about leaving the earth behind for some greater plain. It was about anchoring my spiritual resonance into the earth, and bringing spiritual creation into the material world. It's funny. In a way, the earth is my bride. Really.

So, I found myself sort of in a tight spot. I asked and begged for mentorship in so many places, but the doors always closed. Oh, I wanted to feel so rejected. I either didn't have enough money, or the right skin color, or the right family name, or the right gender. It hurt. And frankly, it would have been a lot smoother if someone would have explained to me that I was slated for another purpose. But then again, I have to defer to my friend Don Juan. He told me, through Carlos. He told Carlos they don't accept volunteers, because volunteers are on their own mission. So I had the answer all along. I just wasn't ready to accept it.

Perhaps some day I will meet an older me, that will embrace me, see me, guide me, help me go further than I could alone. It would be nice to have that kind of sacred bond with someone. But, in the meantime, I do what I can. Action, action, action....

I find that certain abilities come to me when I'm doing my work. I get what I need, when I need it. For the most part I'm a very ordinary guy, but then there are moments when I can do things, or I know things, that I shouldn't be doing or knowing. It's always when I'm doing my mission work. So, on another level, perhaps I just don't know that there is a hand guiding me.

I have to tell you this real quick.

There was a time when I fell into deep paranoia. I didn't feel safe anymore, anywhere. It was like being in a Jason Bourne movie. I was afraid of being attacked spiritually. That's rare for me to feel that way. In a panic, and utterly distressed, I called a woman I knew who was a Shaman I trusted and believed in. When I went to see her, I couldn't figure out how to find her house. In a panic I called her repeatedly, but there was no answer. It was getting to where I was late and I was afraid she would cancel on me if I didn't get there. I was so afraid, I felt my life depended on seeing her. I finally did get her on the phone and she guided me to her home. When I arrived, she was kind of in a state of shock. I was wearing a lavender shirt with a butterfly on it. Inside the butterfly was a key hole, and an inscription that read, "I hold the key". She told me that as she was getting the room ready for me, a giant moth flew into the room. She tried to shoo it out, but it wouldn't go. So, she went to grab a broom. It was because she went to find a broom at that precise moment, that she heard the phone. When she hung up the phone and returned to deal with the moth, it had vanished. She told me that butterfly and moth are very interchangeable.

Anyway, she could see how distressed I was, and was very good about helping me relax. She put me on her table to read my auric field. In the middle of scanning she said the following to me. "Your guides will not let me see anything about you. They are protecting you. They are cloaking you, and will keep you hidden unless you give me permission. If you don't give me permission, you remain invisible to me, and there's nothing I can do about it."

I can't tell you how profoundly moved I was by that. I started sobbing uncontrollably. All those years I had felt abandoned and isolated. Scared. Playing games of cat and mouse. Terrified. Enduring, enduring, enduring. Feeling utterly alone. Just barely surviving. To think that someone was on my side protecting me, it was just too much for me. It felt so good to feel protected for once, and in that moment I did. I am sobbing as i write these words right now, just thinking about it.

I did give her permission, she did read my field, and gave me some very useful information, while also clearing a lot of junk out. I stopped feeling paranoid, and returned to normal soon after. I guess I'm not as alone as I often feel.

Peace...

kudzy
7th June 2011, 04:20
A short Crow story. I have a friend, he's a woodworker. He's got this habit of blasting NPR radio in his woodshop while working. You can hear his radio a good distance from his shop. Some years ago NPR was doing a story and had a native american on live demonstrating (ie singing) his traditional song. It was a song to the Crows. He steps outside and looks up and in a tree nearby a whole bunch (as in an extraordinary amount) of crows had gathered. He swears that crow song called them in.

That's how the story was told to me.
Cheers!

Carmody
7th June 2011, 05:57
I guess that is why one of my regular crows came in close recently and left me a large Feather yesterday.

markoid
7th June 2011, 06:35
I did some learning from a shaman woman many years ago and when she wanted me to call her she would send a crow or several to land and squawk outside my house, as guess as a test to see if I was listening. Also, as soon as I started to study with her, a 'Spangled drongo' (gotta love that name) came to live with me. He set camp and slept in a tree about 4 ft from my bedroom window (2nd floor). He would tap on the window at dawn and was never more than 50 ft from the house for about 4 months. For some reason this made the place very attractive to birds and some mornings, if I didn't close the windows I could find 4 or 5 birds sitting in my loungeroom.... just hanging out??
My teacher told me that black birds were connections to the underworld and do recall wild dreaming at the time too.

http://i302.photobucket.com/albums/nn100/markoid/drongo.jpg

markoid
7th June 2011, 07:29
Hey Armen I just finished the last installment of your story... wow mate, beautifully expressed. The a whole story is just delightful and well written... was bringing up imagery in my my head very effortlessly.
The shaman's way is so... 1 foot in each world as to become really disruptive sometimes huh!
Can I ask, what your mission is?

dukes4monny
7th June 2011, 08:35
An interesting story Armen, thanks for posting.

We have woods at the back of our home. One of the trees has a family of crows living in it. About three days ago my daughter said that there was a crow stuck in our garden.......I checked it out and sure enough there was a fledgling crow on the ground with it's parents squawking away in the tree above.
The fledgling was obviously uninjured, but also not quite ready to fly........
It was late in the day and I was worried about the local cats making a meal of it, but there was nothing that I could do protect or move it, so just left it some bread and water and expected the worst the following morning.............but to my surprise it survived the night.
I tried to 'encourage' it to fly by walking up to it, but there wasn't anything high enough for it to get a good takeoff, just a pile of old railway sleepers waiting to become a raised vegetable garden which are next to a poly tunnel which I used to keep my motorbike in (Ducati S4 Monster hence my handle;)).
I had heard that crows are pretty intelligent, so I came up with a plan to help it.........I got my old Black & Decker Workmate bench and sat it on top of the sleepers, I then got a plank of wood and rested one end on this with the other end on top of the poly tunnel. As soon as I stepped back to admire my handywork, the crow had jumped onto the bench and was walking up the plank onto the top of the poly tunnel :cool:
It soon launched itself into the air..........only to end up in a garden two doors down :rolleyes:. I could still hear it calling out that evening as I retired to bed.
The next morning.......it was back in our garden again!
I replaced the bench and plank and off it went again.........but this time I've left the bench and plank in place.....just in case.

I haven't heard it today, so I am hopeful that it's now found his wings..........

They are quite a striking bird to see close up. They do seem to have a certain 'aura' about them.........intelligent looking with just a hint of menace..........

red_rose
7th June 2011, 09:27
Armen - "The Earth is my bride" - That was beautiful.

red_rose

Fred Steeves
7th June 2011, 09:36
Hi Armen, I think the days of warriors needing Don Juan types are past. To me, a warrior now blazes his own path, and the shear tenacity of his unbending intent will bring his soul journey what it needs, and when it needs it.

BTW, I was at Great Lakes 18 years ago, and can still perform a fairly crisp "about face".:laugh:


Cheers,
Fred

zenith
7th June 2011, 13:06
Hi Armen,

Thanks for your story, you write very well.
I also have a strange connection with Crows.
They want me to keep quiet about it. ;)

7912

Peace

Armen
7th June 2011, 14:20
I haven't heard it today, so I am hopeful that it's now found his wings..........

They are quite a striking bird to see close up. They do seem to have a certain 'aura' about them.........intelligent looking with just a hint of menace..........

Yes, I agree. I read once that crows were given the opportunity to ascend, and turned it down. They preferred being the masters of hell. I can certainly attest to the unnerving, wild, impersonal portal into the sublime they provide. "Menacing". "Intelligent looking with just a hint of menace". You nailed it.

Armen
7th June 2011, 14:24
Hi Armen, I think the days of warriors needing Don Juan types are past. To me, a warrior now blazes his own path, and the shear tenacity of his unbending intent will bring his soul journey what it needs, and when it needs it.

BTW, I was at Great Lakes 18 years ago, and can still perform a fairly crisp "about face".:laugh:


Cheers,
Fred

I agree with you whole heartedly. Very nicely said. And thanks for the Great Lakes connection. That put a big, huge smile on my face...

Forevernyt
7th June 2011, 14:32
I used to watch Forever Knight, hence the screen name and my favorite character was LaCroix, that antogonist vampire. He would always leave Nicholas (the good vampire) with little message and parables over the radio, that pertained to whatever was going on in the episode. Nicholas' mission was to become human again. This was an interesting story LaCroix told about Crows.

Legend has it that when the world was young and unfinished, the Great Spirit Father made the mistake of leaving his paints where his children could get them. Raven begged Eagle to paint him as beautiful and grand as the Great Spirit had made Eagle himself. And so he did, or so he tried. But when Raven looked at his reflection in the water, he didn't like what he saw. Raven became angry, he and Eagle fought, and the Great Spirit Father's paints were spilled over Raven and made him all black, black wings, black eyes, black breast. Raven ran into the river and flapped his wings against the current, but the color was indelible. The water wouldn't wash it away. "This is your punishment," said the Great Father, "for interfering with my work. Black you are and black you will stay. You will never come clean."

Not much of a legend at that, is it children? But I rather like the moral.

Morgaine
7th June 2011, 21:39
Another uplifting story Armen! Thank you!
It reminds me of another experience I had with a Falcon. I was driving through the mountains on my way to visit a client at her farm when I came over the brow of a hill and a huge native falcon was lying in the middle of the road. I could see he was injured, but not severely so I stopped my car and ran around the front to pick him up. He just looked at me and allowed me to wrap him in my sweatshirt and carry him back to the car. I never stopped for one second to think that I was about to share a car with a wild falcon , and actually he was extremely calm. I just put him on the passenger seat and he sat there. As I drove away I started to wonder what I was going to do with him, I thought I could remember a vet clinic nearby where they would take care of the falcon and deliver him to the bird sanctuary to recover. He literally just sat and looked at me with his amazing eyes, less than 2 feet from my face for the whole 40 minute drive. At one point we had to stop for some roadworks and he started panting in the summer heat. This was the only time I felt nervous, I thought "This guy could scratch my eyes out in a second!!" But I forced myself to exude relaxing energy, and tried to calm down the fear, so I gave him a drink of water from my bottle in the lid, to my surprise he actually had a drink like it was as normal as anything.
I eventually arrived at the vets and carried falcon into the reception, the vet nurse came out and took him to the back room. As she carried him he became increasingly distressed to the point where he was flapping and scratching to escape while she tried to put him in a safe cage. The change in him was very noticeable, and I felt guilty watching him becoming so distressed. I've always wondered what happened to him, and if he was ok.
It seems that there are times in my life, that if I concentrate just so, and think in the right way I can communicate with animals in rather different ways than perhaps other people can. The falcon was injured, and he had a different energy to the Raven I spoke of earlier. His lesson for me was very different.

Morgaine.

Armen
7th June 2011, 22:05
Wow Morgaine, what an experience! Animals feel and respond to energy. That's why a dog could be flipping out barking when one person is holding the leash, and then become completely still when another person is holding the leash. They feel our energy. The difference in behavior doesn't surprise me at all.

DianeKJ
7th June 2011, 22:45
Thank you so much for sharing :) Since I was a small child I always thought that the crows were talking to me and following me everywhere... as an adult that thought hasn't changed much actually. lol

I will share a funny story with you if you don't mind. When I was still a child my grandmother rescued some baby crows. They were younger than fledgling and she nursed them back to health and of course it took a lot of time and work! There were I believe 4 of them. They were just amazing, and I loved being with my grandma as she cared for them. Eventually they fledged into her backyard, and she would still feed them a bit as they were still learning to find food for themselves. She would do this hilarious crow call, that would bring them flying to her.

After some time they moved on from the backyard and made their way into a beautiful, neighborhood cemetary. It is a lovely little place filled with very old oak trees, a perfect homebase for them actually. We went to the cemetary one day to feed them a bit. My grandma was doing her special call to them, lost in the moment. I sat under a tree watching, amused as there were other people trying to pay their respects to the deceased. My grandma paid them no mind as they watched her making her odd noises. The people were quite horrified when crows landed on her head and shoulders! I had to laugh out loud at the looks on their faces as they made a hasty retreat to their cars.

We fed the crows and I believe it was the last time my grandma was able to call them back. It was still such a lovely, amusing experience that I will never forget. Crow is strong medicine.
Namaste,
Di

Armen
8th June 2011, 13:50
Hey Armen I just finished the last installment of your story...
The shaman's way is so... 1 foot in each world as to become really disruptive sometimes huh!
Can I ask, what your mission is?

Yes, the shaman's way is difficult, especially in a society that has stripped any kind of community or support for people who naturally walk between those worlds. Heck, our artists, and many of our creative types are really shamans, and look how we treat them? This needs to change, because as you aptly said, delving into the visionary realm is disorienting enough in itself.

Of course you can ask me what my mission is. In fact, I am honored that you would want to know. I could write you a whole dissertation on that subject, but don't worry, I won't put you through that. In simple terms, my realm is in the sphere of human ecology. Much like a permaculturist works with physical ecosystems to try and achieve harmony, strength, and diversity, I see myself doing the same work in the realm of our social fabric, and within the human realm. That deals with emotions, thoughts, visions, interests, relationships, creativity, whatever comes up inside of people. The work expresses itself in a myriad of ways, and as a result I am very interdisciplinary. I am a whole systems thinker, so I look at very, very big pictures, and have a love for navigating complex structures.

I would identify these major areas as pillars of my mission. Education, Performance, Mentoring, Guiding, Communication, Design, Insight, and Storytelling. These are components that put together form an initiative of catalyzing creative action. I am a catalyst. I help people get aligned with what they are supposed to be doing. I help people get clear by providing language to experience. I assist people through their fears. Then there is another aspect which is a little more esoteric. I find that my presence is like nutrient rich soil. This sounds strange, but it's true. My presence fertilizes people's seeds of dream and imagination. I can't turn it off. I'm just programmed to do it. I create movement. I define my mission as "Bringing down the walls of silence and separation", and "guiding people back to their humanity".

My realm is the realm of creativity and vision. I am also here to draw out deeper issues of pain and controversy. I love working right at the edges of the most bitter, intense traumas and hurts that exist between people. In that sense, I am here to take people really deep.

I said I would keep it simple, and I have to admit, that was a pretty lousy attempt, but it's ok. The information seems relevant.

I would love for you to express your mission.

Thanks again for asking...

markoid
9th June 2011, 02:25
Hi Armen, thanks for sharing your mission. I did get a sense of it from another post of yours.. in Inelia's thread I think it was. I'm sure you must be very good at what you do if your writing and communication style are any indication, you write in a very clear and descriptive style which I admire. Your propensity for being able to work through complex structures must be valuable I would think, not only for your work with people but also to navigate your way through the colossal amount of information/disinformation on this journey of finding the truth of the human condition that we find ourselves on, which I can easily become bewildered by :confused:
As for my mission.... hmmm, the short answer is, I don't know yet!!! I admire and have to say I am a little envious of many of the people here that have their mission clearly in view and are pursuing same with such gusto and dedication. Here I am 59 yrs old and I'm still searching, listening and watching for mine to become clear. Strangely I have felt that I had/have a mission of some sort all my life and that if I just kept on trying this and that, that it would one day come into clear view.
I have had a feeling of.. not really belonging anywhere my whole life... 'looking for my people' so to speak, and often overwhelmed by the inhumanity shown in our dealings with each other and the concurrent egocentric competitive ways that we have been indoctrinated with. After a nervous breakdown in 1998, the reasons for which I won't go into here, I gave up all belief systems and pursuit of ... anything, and became very reclusive, learning computer graphic skills to keep my sanity. I found this pastime very engaging and quite fulfilling until about 5 months ago when it just totally lost all momentum. I started to have spiritual yearnings once again, started to meditate again, and whilst looking around for some direction I found the Camelot videos and interviews and this forum and consequently have become reinvigorated about life and all that is!

So... still looking :)
I have a tendency to not express myself enough so thank you for asking and encouraging me to do so my friend.

Carmody
9th June 2011, 04:22
You might be interested in a time about two summers back when I was feeling kind of down about the potential fate of the world.

I saw the crow that sits on the highest branch of a 150+ Year old Black Oak tree, right outside my house.

I closed my eyes..and bowed my head toward him...and I told him it was safe for him and his brothers. I forwarded my love of the world - to them... in a direct sense, as sometimes...they get such a bad rap from some people. To come and stay, where it was safe... if they wanted to.

About 3 weeks later, there were a good 500 crows on my roof.

noprophet
9th June 2011, 04:36
Funny crow story from yesterday; I was walking home from a friends house and literally had a crow follow me for about 3 blocks. It would land above my head on a telephone wire and caw incessantly until I got about ten or eleven feet from it then it would fly right up ahead and repeat.

Don't know what its deal was, made me laugh though.

Armen
9th June 2011, 05:40
Funny crow story from yesterday; I was walking home from a friends house and literally had a crow follow me for about 3 blocks. It would land above my head on a telephone wire and caw incessantly until I got about ten or eleven feet from it then it would fly right up ahead and repeat.

Don't know what its deal was, made me laugh though.

The same thing happened to me about two weeks ago. I mean exactly the same thing. In my case I was holding a question in my mind about someone when it happened. Well, I got my answer...

Armen
9th June 2011, 06:40
To continue my Crow Saga:

After my boot camp test everything changed. From that day on it was practically raining crow feathers everywhere I went. Wherever I was, if there were crows around, they would go nuts and make lots of noise. It was like having my own peanut gallery. I found so many feathers that I had to stop picking them up. While stationed in Maine, I even found an entire wing intact.

My time in the military was pretty miserable. It was the same old equation. You either have time, but no money, or you have money, and no time to do anything worth while. It was frustrating to say the least. For the first time in my life I had money. Lots of it. Anyone who says that the military doesn't pay well doesn't know how to handle their money, in my opinion. Anyway, for me it was very adequate. But I had no friends, and I was obsessed with Aliens and trying to find someone who could teach me to "See". I spent a lot of my money on Sushi (eating by myself in restaurants), and psychic fairs. I didn't care if I got conned. I tried everything and anything I could get my hands on. Again, that lead to some very interesting experiences.

Overall though, I was utterly miserable. There was a permanent knot lodged in my chest. I hated it, but didn't have anywhere else to go. Afterall, I was being responsible. Ha! Over time the question did not go away. Should I leave the military? It tormented me. I knew the problems with staying, and I knew the problems with leaving. Over time it's like I split in two.

At the time, I was seriously feeling called to nature. Through my obsession with Don Juan, I stumbled upon Tom Brown Jr, and his "Grandfather". That was my introduction into Apache culture. I was hooked. I wanted to be like Grandfather. Sitting inside the gray warship I lived in, I yearned for the wild. I wanted to roam like a wild animal, but I was afraid. I was afraid to cut myself loose in that way.

While stationed in San Diego, I had a weird dream. In the dream I was being chased by stone cops in the city. They were statues that hovered at great speeds. I always managed to barely allude them, but my heart was racing, and I was very stressed out. Suddenly the scene changed. I was on a country road walking into the sun set. There were fields on either side of me, and the road was lined with telephone poles. There was no one on the road but me. I was in nature (kind of). It was serene and I felt at peace. Suddenly I found myself riding in mid air, on a tricycle. When I looked closer, I saw that I wasn't floating in mid air, but was actually riding powerlines that were running along the telephone poles. They were transparent, so therefore hard to see. As soon as I realized this, I started to teeter. I couldn't keep my balance. Suddenly an old man appeared. He had white hair and a white beard, but appeared to be infinitely strong and wise. He reached up (I was above his head) and grabbed my hand to steady me. "You can do this", he said. "No", I replied. Then he said. "You've done this before. You know how to do it. Come on!" He looked at me with such ferocity, I believed him, and suddenly I was able to do it. Off I went riding into the sun set. End of dream.

That dream had been a sign, but I wasn't totally convinced yet.

While stationed in Maine, my father was battling cancer for the final time. I got a month to fly back to Germany (where he lived) to be with him. My father had always been concerned about me. He wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor (really a lawyer). His chief complaint was that I never stuck anything out. So, one day, I remember sitting at the bed of my dying father, sheepishly trying to express that yet again I was contemplating quitting what I had started. I didn't want to disappoint him, yet again, but my agony was so great, I couldn't prevent myself from at least confiding in him my internal struggle. As I told him what was in my heart, I couldn't even get myself to look in his eyes. Something extraordinary happened though.

Something that I think is very rare between fathers and sons. He didn't say a word. Nothing. Fearing his disapproval, I had positioned my face in a sort of prepared kind of flinching position, expecting to feel the weight of his disappointment. More time passed. Nothing. In shock, I unfurled my face and slowly ratcheted my head up so that my eyes were level with his.

What I saw mesmerized me. I was looking into a face that was absolutely radiant. I had never seen my father so serene and centered in my life. His eyes were glowing with compassion and understanding, and he said to me, "I understand." I was shocked and suspicious. What do you mean by that? I asked. "Armen", he said, "I see you. I know who you are. You just want to be free. it's not going to be easy for you. But be brave, and keep going."......

And so I did, and have continued to do....

In that moment, my father and I became one. He did see me, completely. Even though it was just a moment, it made up for all the years of misunderstanding, quarreling, and bickering. In that moment, it felt as though nothing was wasted. It is a blessing I cannot possibly ever make up for or repay. That's how monumental it was for me.

Anyway, back to Maine. My father died a week after I returned to my ship. He died in his sleep, at home. My family had been torn apart for many years. We had not all been together in over ten years. I do believe he was waiting for us to all come together again before he went. Especially me. I had walked away from my family in pursuit of abstract, incomprehensible goals such as truth and enlightenment. I had put my family through numerous traumas with my antics and adventures. I had rejected everything they had wanted to give me. It was a hard sacrifice, one that hurt all of us tremendously.

Now that I was back on my ship, with my father's blessing in my heart, I was closer to answering my question. Do I leave, or do I stay in the military.

During that time, having no friends, and being stationed in a very small port town out in the country side, and working 16 hour days washing dishes inside the ship, I only got to go out at night. Like a ghost I wandered the streets. Everything was already shut down. No one was out. I remember sitting on a stone bench, looking at the stars, again contemplating the question. What do I do? Stay in the military, or explore my call to nature. When I stood up, I noticed that the bench was engraved with writing. It read: "The Wild is Calling You. Answer it's Call." That was almost it. I almost had my answer. Now I knew what the path of heart was, but I was still too scared.

I was looking for certain things to fall into place. In the end, it was a crow that signaled the final decision.

I was on my way back on board the ship from leave. On deck there was an officer. Protocol was to walk up the boarding plank, stand at attention, present ID, salute, and respectfully request permission to come aboard. As I was doing this, my eye wandered over to the flagpole whose job it was to fly the ensign. That day it was bare and bald. Suddenly, a crow came flying onto the ship and landed right on top of that pole. It started cawing its head off, and would not stop. The contrast was dramatic. This wild creature, black and mysterious, set against an industrial, machine like, sterile environment. That was it. I knew what I had to do. My contract when I went in was for five years. I got out just about a year and a half into it. I had been watching and waiting for an opportunity. Everything was in place except a few very important details. Within weeks of my decision to leave, everything fell into place and I was processed out honorably in less than two weeks.

As promised, I devoted the next few years to discovering nature, and finding inner silence.

Armen
9th June 2011, 21:21
This just happened....

I was walking home from getting some vegetables from the produce stand, when for the second time in two weeks I had a crow flying overhead, making a ruckus. This time it was actually two of them. They were sitting on power lines. As I walked underneath them, they started going nuts. While continuing to walk, they flew fairly low over my head, repositioned themselves, and kept on screeching. This went on for quite a while.

At the time I was thinking about this forum, imagining posting a new thread. Just as I was visualizing it, the crows were going nuts. I took it as a confirmation to go ahead with the thread. So here it goes...

Pain and Forgiveness

I'm starting a thread that will allow people to voice how they feel they have been abandoned, betrayed, oppressed, ignored, etc. In my mind I saw it as an opportunity for people to open up, be witnessed, and receive an apology. It sounds a bit odd, and I don't know if it can work in this forum, but I want to try it. The reason why, is because I truly believe in order to move forward, we (humanity) have to share the pain we have gone through, be witnessed, and feel that people have compassion for our struggles. That can only bring people closer together.

This is something I feel called to do. I want to bear witness to the ways in which people need to be apologized to, and then offer that apology on behalf of all of humanity.

Like I said, it's an experiment. We'll see how it goes...