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afflicto
1st August 2011, 04:06
Ok, I have come to the conclusion that, I can't look for truth. I need to experience truth.
What do I do?, where do I go?
I want to see a hypnotherapist or psychic or something. A real one, not a cold-reading whore.

Lord Sidious
1st August 2011, 04:17
I would advise you to let go of everything and just be.
Why are you so desperate?

pharoah21
1st August 2011, 04:25
Watch a movie called the peaceful warrior..........

afflicto
1st August 2011, 05:05
Let go of everything? That's what I WANT to do. But i can't.
I NEED to know whether I'm a delusional psychopathic retard desperate for something in life that has meaning and purpose
Or if I am in fact a soul having a human experience.

Ok.. listen
I'm not gonna live this retarded life of misery until I know for a fact, that there IS a cookie for me at the end.
You see? I'm not gonna bet that there is. Because if I really really walk this life and there is no cookie... well, I failed and I'm a stupid ****.

Davidallany
1st August 2011, 05:14
What do I do?, where do I go?
First you need to be humble, help people that you don't know, have compassion toward others, even if they dislike you, then you start to go inside you and be still. Most important character in a seeker of truth is patience.

Davidallany
1st August 2011, 05:23
I'm not gonna live this retarded life of misery until I know for a fact, that there IS a cookie for me at the end.
What are you going to do with a cookie? You are like a man swimming in fresh water and crying I am thirsty, I need water. You are not psycho,but at worst confused. It's better to focus on one practice that you feel comfortable with. I like to meditate for example and do charity. What do you like to do to keep in touch with yourself?

afflicto
1st August 2011, 05:26
Keep in touch with myself? I want to get out of myself... I want to get out of my mind.

pharoah21
1st August 2011, 05:33
Keep in touch with myself? I want to get out of myself... I want to get out of my mind.

You need to still your mind before you can do anything constructive for yourself. Breathe easy, relax, meditate.

Foggy
1st August 2011, 05:36
You are so fortunate to learn life's lessons at such a young fun age. Whatever appears to be the puzzlement you find yourself experiencing, you already have the solution.
You queried "where to go". Go within yourself. You already have the answers. The truth is within. Find a quiet location away from electronic interference and seek peace.

Enjoy and be grateful for your environment. Make a list of questions and number them. Develop your personal routine/schedule.
The 2nd time you do this, re-phrase and re-write those questions. (ie. 1st time - I don't have enough time. 2nd time - Why don't I have time for myself)
Also, the 2nd time - do not numerically prioritize them until after they have been written down.

Each time you put your needs first (quiet time) you honor and respect yourself by expressing love for you.
When you are true to yourself, the priority of your numerical questions will shift as you re-phrase the questions.

You are talented, highly skilled and already know how to do this. Don't get caught in the "busy" trap that derails critical thinking.
Learn this skill and yourself as well. The answers and truth is within each of us.

Davidallany
1st August 2011, 05:40
I want to get out of myself... I want to get out of my mind
What is the difference between the two?

jackovesk
1st August 2011, 05:47
Let go of everything? That's what I WANT to do. But i can't.
I NEED to know whether I'm a delusional psychopathic retard desperate for something in life that has meaning and purpose
Or if I am in fact a soul having a human experience.

Ok.. listen
I'm not gonna live this retarded life of misery until I know for a fact, that there IS a cookie for me at the end.
You see? I'm not gonna bet that there is. Because if I really really walk this life and there is no cookie... well, I failed and I'm a stupid ****.

The Cold Hard 'REALIY' of the 'Truth/Soul Journey'...

You need to understand the 'Darkness' before you can 'Truely' experience the 'Light' as painful as that is afflicto...

I hope this puts your 'Pain & Frustration' into more of a realistic perspective for you...

Regards,

Jack

afflicto
1st August 2011, 05:51
Ok. How do I go within my self?

Rocky_Shorz
1st August 2011, 05:58
afflicto = agitated/nervous in portugese...

feeling of loneliness related to the moon phaze we are currently passing, you came to us on a new moon remember...


your bill is in the mail...


most people want to pay so they feel something was learned...


how could free advice be worth anything? ;)



the best things in life are free...

Davidallany
1st August 2011, 06:02
Ok. How do I go within my self?
Since you are not awake to your power yet, you need a teacher to assist you. My advice is to go live in a Buddhist temple or monastery as practitioner. They will teach you person to person.

zebowho
1st August 2011, 06:10
Let go of everything? That's what I WANT to do. But i can't.
I NEED to know whether I'm a delusional psychopathic retard desperate for something in life that has meaning and purpose
Or if I am in fact a soul having a human experience.

Ok.. listen
I'm not gonna live this retarded life of misery until I know for a fact, that there IS a cookie for me at the end.
You see? I'm not gonna bet that there is. Because if I really really walk this life and there is no cookie... well, I failed and I'm a stupid ****.

You can't cross the finish line by sitting in the crowd. Some of the answers your looking for have to be earned not given, otherwise you will not get the point, you will not understand (or more importantly, appreciate) the gravity of those answers. I'm sure you've heard the phrase, "Patience is a virtue" right? It also provides a reward. Practice patience and learn to just be, all else will come naturally when its supposed to and some things take time, there's a reason for that.

Let me put it this way, I believe there is a reward at the end (and all along on this path as well) for each of us. I believe it without a doubt. I've had my personal confirmation of that fact, a couple of times. Will my answers work for you, probably not because they were meant for me. I can give you my story but will the gravity be completely understood by you as I understood it, again probably not. The experience and answers I had were provided in a way I needed at the time, which gave me the appreciation of the message and the answer. They may help you in your search but they aren't necessarily your answers, you'll need to look for your truth but validate it with your experience.

Lets test this. One story: One morning when I was about your age I had just gotten home from a graveyard shift and was standing on the front steps looking at the clouds and sunrise, I noticed a shape of an angel, I had spent a few minutes looking at it. There were wings (with feathers believe it or not), a face, arms, legs, hands and feet and I just kept looking at it, at the same time I had a feeling something was going on somewhere. Anyway, we've all seen shapes in the clouds but I've never seen something with this much detail and it wasn't changing, even as the clouds were moving, I felt a level of peace that was almost blissful. Well about fifteen minutes later my mom called and told me she was at the hospital and just a few minutes ago my grandfather had died. I later found out there were other "strange" things that happened to some of my relatives that only confirmed what I knew. I was allowed to see the angel that was taking my grandpa home.

I believe you're a soul having a human experience, does that make you believe it too?

-z

etheric underground
1st August 2011, 06:18
First and foremost breathe......
When we fall back into that trap of over thinking we dont realise
we hyperventilate, which quickens the heart. speeds up your blood flow
and too much is going on for you to listen to your inner self.
Then like others have stated, just be...What does this mean?
It means you find stillness, you slow your heart rate down and you try not to
think... Aim to take note of your breathing and clear your frantic thoughts.
You can only bear fruit from your all knowing intuitive self when you let all
externals go. And you feel what it is to connect with you.
We all know within what it is we need. you just have to listen.

Decibellistics
1st August 2011, 06:48
Afflicto, you are young and full of vigor. You speak with haste and your frustration is getting the best of you. Slow down man.

Silence your mind, your wants, your desires and perceive the world as energy. Because this is what we are and what the universe is around us. The world is energy. Look within your body now. Think about the cellular structure of what your body is. The millions of cells replicating every second. Our body is an eco system, and the question you should ask yourself is if I have consciousness and I am condensed into a material form, do the cells in my body also have consciousness. Does a tree have conciousness?

You have been raised your entire life to see things as they are and to be conditioned into thinking things are objects. In reality they are a condensed material form of a vibrating unified structure made up of light, particles, and the such.

You are a part of this, as is everything else. The trick once you realize that everything is energy, is that you have a part to play in this game if you so choose. You and I and everyone else on this forum are shooting out waveforms of energy constantly, an these waveforms interact. Like the old saying, you could cut the tension in the room with a butter knife. You feel it, it is tangible but it is an invisible thing that causes it. Thoughts cause pain and sadness and what have you. The system wants you to think negatively so you stay trapped in a box of complacency, apathy, anger, and laziness. I digress. We are tools of diffraction. And we have choices whether to diffract negative energy away from us/shoot it out into our environment, that's one way of looking at it.

I recommend not calling people whores and thinking things are retarded.....because I can see and feel what your anger and frustration has and it stinks and hurts. That is your youth coming out though. I'm not far off from you in this reality. I've just been here way too many ****ing times before. Try not to direct derogatory natured things out into your environment. Find your shadow self learn it, make it combine with you and utilize it as an ally because it is a part of you and transmute the grudges you have into gold.

So it boils down to intent and manifesting reality. Can you manifest your dream by placing intent into a waveform and shooting it out into space and leaving it to germinate. It germinates by you acting on your manifestation in the 3 dimensinal reality by action.

This is a tedious path, but you have a purpose I imagine. Be patient. Observe the things around you that make life beautiful despite the fact that some people have ****ed it up. Forget about them, it is almost time for their time down there.

Also, we are all already dead. That was a contract we signed coming into this world. And that is beautiful. Because death is an ally, and can teach you to get the **** out of the way and get on your feet to do something in order to stay alive.

Slow down, observe your environment, really feel it.....really see it. It'll be hard at first. But if you allow yourself to open up to the sea of energy and absolute wonder we have around us you might realize that everything else you have been focusing on, truly doesn't mean a damn thing, and therefore should be given no energy. And it will try to get at you often, your ego, your external factors. Try and catch em, recognize them, and then just blow it away. Because you have the power to transcend what surrounds you. You create your own reality

You've been placed here to be fed on to a certain extent. The universe is predatory. The trick is to not feed the beast and eat the bull**** it wants to feed you.

Have fun too! This is a giant playground with a bunch of pious turds trying to put a fence around something that can't be controlled. Enjpy the ride man. Enjoy the ride man.......Enjoy the ride man...........Enjoy the ride man..........Enjoy the ride man............Enjoy the ride man..........Enjoy the ride man.............

ViralSpiral
1st August 2011, 06:54
You can't cross the finish line by sitting in the crowd.

-z


I love this!!! And thank you for sharing your story!
Afflicto, you really are lucky to be looking for the holy grail, so early.
People are trying to help un-confuse you, but you want the prize first, without the training.

I read Cave in the Snow, by Tenzin Palmo. Her complete rejection of any semblance of a normal family life or relationships and her absolute commitment from a very young age to Ďbe perfectí, and to Ďfind perfectioní.She isolated herself for twelve years in a remote Himalayan cave to deepen her meditation practice. Here she faced unimaginable cold, wild animals, near-starvation and avalanches; grew her own food and slept in a traditional wooden meditation box, three-feet-square and she never lay down.

I am not implying you need to do that to get anywhere. I am merely suggesting that you need to try do something out of your box.

Sierra
1st August 2011, 07:33
Let go of everything? That's what I WANT to do. But i can't.
I NEED to know whether I'm a delusional psychopathic retard desperate for something in life that has meaning and purpose
Or if I am in fact a soul having a human experience.

Ok.. listen
I'm not gonna live this retarded life of misery until I know for a fact, that there IS a cookie for me at the end.
You see? I'm not gonna bet that there is. Because if I really really walk this life and there is no cookie... well, I failed and I'm a stupid ****.

Hi Sweetie :kiss:

The cookie at the end *is* that you survived to the end, you finished your contract, you learned patience, you learned discipline and you became a warrior. Your strength saved others, your hands held others, your heart healed others and others loved you.

How do you get there? Year by year, season by season. day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. Even down to the second Affs. I know this is probably agony to you right now, but there it is. You are a soul having a human experience.

Learn what works for you. Get the basics under your belt. Do you know how to recharge yourself? Can you eat, sleep, exercise and pray right? Do you know how to get down on the floor and stretch? Can you find ways to laugh? These sound like simple things, but G*d is simple and in the details. Can you make one single day of yours a ceremony of happiness and grace from beginning to end? Just one single day? It sounds so simple, but can you do it? What would it take, to make you happy from the moment you woke up to the moment you laid your head down to sleep? Would a wall of sunlight, a breeze of mountain water and pine, a ripe peach, coming home hot, sweaty and burned from a day at the beach ... what could you do all day long and be happy? What recharges you?

I feel so fortunate and blessed now. But Affs, I'm sixty-two years old. Joy and meaning wasn't handed to me on a plate. Being an incarnated human is not easy.

Find your joy you big silly ...

Oh. Trust me. A psychopath would NEVER be asking themselves the questions you ask yourself.

Sierra :wave:

Tony
1st August 2011, 08:05
Are you listening?

Davidallany
1st August 2011, 08:10
Are you listening?
Dear Tony, thank you for answering my call, it seems that you were listening :)

afflicto
1st August 2011, 08:13
Sierra... thanks.

I don't know what will make me happy for 1 day. I don't now...
I just want somebody, something, to tell me with absolute certainty, who I am, and why I choose to be here. If the answer is: You just wanted to live as a human and have a rough time. Then, fine.. I'm up for it! That's all I want to know.
I just want to know... what to do?

ViralSpiral
1st August 2011, 08:32
If the answer is: You just wanted to live as a human and have a rough time. Then, fine.. I'm up for it! That's all I want to know.
I just want to know... what to do?


That's what we are all trying to say.
Life experience tells us what to do....

DNA
1st August 2011, 08:43
Ok, I have come to the conclusion that, I can't look for truth. I need to experience truth.
What do I do?, where do I go?
I want to see a hypnotherapist or psychic or something. A real one, not a cold-reading whore.

Ouch! Kinda harsh with the cold-reading whore remark there.
So you want to know if there is a cookie at the end huh?
I might have the thing for you.
About six years ago, I was curious if I couldn't provide a method for folks who weren't adepts so to speak to view spirits/ghosts.
As for myself, I find ghosts to be so plentifull and prevailant, I can't help but to see them in a darkened room.
Something about removing light and removing stimuli opens avenues of awareness not always used.
Anyway,,,,I threw a thread up,,,no reason to regurgitate all this stuff all over again. How To See A Ghost For Your Self (http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?21695-How-To-See-A-Ghost-For-Your-Self)

Sierra
1st August 2011, 08:52
Sierra... thanks.

I don't know what will make me happy for 1 day. I don't now...
I just want somebody, something, to tell me with absolute certainty, who I am, and why I choose to be here. If the answer is: You just wanted to live as a human and have a rough time. Then, fine.. I'm up for it! That's all I want to know.
I just want to know... what to do?

No one knows who I am. Not even me. No one knows why I chose to be here. Not even me. No one knew what would make me happy in life, not even me.

Affs, I am hearing you had a harsh beginning in life. It is a desperate hard trail when you don't have early beginnings that show you where you can find joy. Some people have to find it all on their own. While I had terrifying violence and terror at times in my life, I was also graced with a mother who had me skiing to the cabin under a full moon with my sisters, all of us under five or under years of age, each of us knapsacking our own sleeping bags and change of clothes, while she dragged the toboggan of food. I woke up and looked out the window at a deer standing in a snow covered meadow under a full moon with the milky way shooting across her. I flew down the mountains shrieking with happiness. I toasted marshmallows in the fireplace with my sisters... I had a grandmother who taught me to love the kitchen and murder mysteries. I have a husband who shares sci fi/fantasy, history, science, astronomy, scrabble, programming, birdies, foodie, movie joys with me.

Oh Affs. No one knows who you are. No one knows how you are going to make joy for yourself. But damn you are figuring out what the issue is at a very young age. All I can say is, get some blankies, a thermos, a good book, a sand dune facing the water and be by yourself and breathe. For the day.

Sierra

Tony
1st August 2011, 08:53
The very first steps to enlightenment is knowing that you are suffering. Then you have to recognise the cause of that suffering. Then you have to find a method/path away from that suffering. Finally you have to tread that path.

So it is up to you.

Right in front of you these paths are displayed, all you have to do is try the, see how it feels. You have to look very closely. Put your energy into your questions.

At the moment you are putting up a lot of resistance. If you keep that up you will only succeed in going round in circles, for a very long time. You become one of those that died at 18 and was buried at 67.

At the moment you are victim of your environment. You have to do something to change that!
Stop believing how things 'should' be, that is not the way to freedom.

You want to be free of all this turmoil, this heaviness. You are carrying a heavy heart, I do not blame you. Take a few days to get in the fresh air, get some sun, it will do you the world of good. Do not eat any junk food.

Look at others, and give what you think you lack!

All the emotions you feel at this moment, can be gone in an instant! They are not real, they only feel real. What sees these emotions is the only reality. It is very quiet and spacious. It is your pure being.

As everyone has said to you, let it all drop! The answer is so simple, but the complex mind hates it.
Stop looking at this sight for a few days, it is getting too addictive.

Whatever is churning inside you is only memories from the past, they will go, if you stop playing with them. TRUST! The truth is simply you, not your ideas.


Tony

goldmother
1st August 2011, 09:00
Reading all these comments is amazing this is why I love this forum and all the people that interact with it

:wave:

ViralSpiral
1st August 2011, 09:10
I want to marry Sierra!!
reasons why I cant:-

01. She already is
02. I prefer boys
03. She likes history (its written by the winners Sierra, didntchaknow, sista?)
04. She makes me boohoo a lot!
05. and last but not least, she doesnt know who she is!!! (Nor do I, so that wouldn't help either of us! I mean, how the heck would we find our home?)


♥♥♥♥♥♥

DNA
1st August 2011, 09:29
No one knows who I am. Not even me. No one knows why I chose to be here. Not even me. No one knew what would make me happy in life, not even me.


Sierra

Carlos Castaneda -
People hardly ever realize that we can cut anything from our lives, any time, just like that. For example, smoking and drinking are nothing. Nothing at all if we want to drop them. Only one thing is indispensable for anything we do; the spirit. One can't do without the spirit.

I have no routines or personal history. One day I found out that they were no longer necessary for me and, like drinking, I dropped them. One must have the desire to drop them and then one must proceed harmoniously to chop them off, little by little. If you have no personal history, no explanations are needed; nobody is angry or disillusioned with your acts. And above all no one pins you down with their thoughts. It is best to erase all personal history because that makes us free from the encumbering thoughts of other people. I have, little by little, created a fog around me and my life. And now nobody knows for sure who I am or what I do. Not even I. How can I know who I am, when I am all this?
Little by little you must create a fog around yourself; you must erase everything around you until nothing can be taken for granted, until nothing is any longer for sure, or real. Your problem now is that you're too real. Your endeavors are too real; your moods are too real. Don't take things so for granted. You must begin to erase yourself.
You've said that you want to learn about plants. Let's put it this way then. If you want to learn about plants, since there is really nothing to say about them, you must, among other things, erase your personal history.
Begin with simple things, such as not revealing what you really do. What's wrong is that once people know you, you are an affair taken for granted and from that moment on you won't be able to break the tie of their thoughts. I personally like the ultimate freedom of being unknown. No one knows me with steadfast certainty, the way people know you, for instance.
From now on you must simply show people whatever you care to show them, but without ever telling exactly how you've done it. You see, we only have two alternatives; we either take everything for sure and real, or we don't. If we follow the first, we end up bored to death with ourselves and with the world. If we follow the second and erase personal history, we create a fog around us, a very exciting and mysterious state in which nobody knows where the rabbit will pop out, not even ourselves.
When nothing is for sure we remain alert, perennially on our toes. It is more exciting not to know which bush the rabbit is hiding behind than to behave as though we know everything.

DNA
1st August 2011, 09:39
You know I was reading a while back, the guy's name was Milton Erickson, he was a huge inspiration in the hypnotherapy field.
He talked about how all of us enter into various trance states through out our everyday life.
I agree with this very much.
Physical activites like yoga, tai chi, martial arts can lead one to a trance state where one stops feeling this "self" your talking about and you start feeling something "else" that happens to be yourself as well.
I would include dancing in this as well.
Watch how this young lady moves, I'm pretty sure she is in a desirable trance state while she moves like this.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YekEPQl7HqI&feature=player_embedded#at=53

Tigressa
1st August 2011, 10:32
What is brilliant is that you are asking the questions. You sound honest. If you can ask the questions, it means you are on the way to getting the answers.

The problem isn't entirely you, y'know. Your energy field is filled to the brim with karmic crap, with pain, with memories stored throughout your system that you ..strangely can't quite remember. You are full of trauma. Try to be patient when people say 'Meditate!'.
Meditation helps all the toxins rise to the surface and dissipate. That's why it hurts at first, why you struggle so hard with it. It is like taking a shower for your dirty etheric body, streaked in tears, blood and gunk as it is. From lifetime after lifetime after lifetime. If you knew how hard you have worked to get here, you would love yourself deeply.

Before you can have a lesson, you need to go get cleaned up. Go find some pranic healers, good people, get them to clear your aura. Meditate. Then come back here and answer this question yourself. (And stay away from psychics and the like, you are not ready to know who to trust and this is the lazy way out, plus you have bad energy already re this from your statement). Good luck. P.s. I advise choosing a more positive name for yourself when you feel like it. You are binding yourself to a difficult energy, affliction itself, not helpful for transformation.

afflicto
1st August 2011, 10:35
Maybe I'll go to china or something and learn Kung Fu lol. I love china, for some reason. The music, the martial arts, all of it. Oh, and noodles!

Meh, I guess I'l go buy a bunch of ice cream, chocolate and soda, and then play video games the rest of the day.

afflicto
1st August 2011, 10:41
Ok well these are the names I use online: Afflicto, Arakash, Dargath, Dominath. They sound violent and orcish, but that's because I use them in gaming situtations, and one has to sound cool you know. lol. I don't want the name "Peter" As an orcish warrior or an forsaken undead warlock or whatever.

Anyways, my real name is Petter. the stone... yea I'm just a stone. so epic.

ViralSpiral
1st August 2011, 10:43
Hello Petter :)

remember: what you project, you accept.....




http://cdn.trendhunterstatic.com/thumbs/rip-and-tear-notes-i-love-you-project.jpeg

afflicto
1st August 2011, 10:48
I have a big problem with the concepts of meditation, and spirituality generally, or whatever.
I mean, I wish it was true but I can't help but think I'm just delusional. I mean... the brain is capable of doing so many strange things. Hallucinations.. etc.
If I really sat down and wanted to do some wierd thing, my subconscious mind can probably make something up, right?.

Wow.. I wish I never attained all this information... I wish I was just another guy who played video games and watched TV, no problems at all, except the fact that I won't have any friends, nor any love in my life. It's still peaceful.
I mean.. I can't play games anymore... It's not fun any longer.. my mind is thinking all the time... my mind is ALWAYS reasoning\thinking\seeking for explanations for all this stuff! I can't get it off my mind. That's why I love to sleep. Because I forget all of it.
that's why I sleep around 16 hours and are awake for like 8.

§=[Post Update]=§


Hello Petter :)

remember: what you project, you accept.....



http://cdn.trendhunterstatic.com/thumbs/rip-and-tear-notes-i-love-you-project.jpeg

huh? I don't understand fully..

mekiac
1st August 2011, 10:49
Meh, I guess I'l go buy a bunch of ice cream, chocolate and soda, and then play video games the rest of the day.

Start the live you deserve NOW.

1) Take a walk for 1 or 2 hours
2) Sit down and think about what you want to achieve in this life. When it gives you a good feeling, its a good thing. Also think about the persons that are important in your life
3) Sit down and write your goals down
4) Ask yourself how you can achieve these goals
5) go for it

I know the mood you are in and i used to bury it with playing online games and i am still doing it sometimes.
This mood is a good thing. It is a signal. Listen to it.

ViralSpiral
1st August 2011, 10:56
huh? I don't understand fully..

What it says on the tin. If all that you are projecting is boredom, confusion and most of all, apathy - that's what gets given back.
There have been many useful, insightful tips and ideas in this thread, with people urging you to change your own environment. I accept that meditation/spirituality et al, is a foreign concept to you right now, but how about trying it? You dont even have to move house to do this. It starts with yourself.

I posted that pic because, like you, I once was confused. Never bored though, and started my search. You have to trust that there will be a net when you fall. So...... I love that you are a reflection of me!


afflicto
1st August 2011, 11:13
Meh, I guess I'l go buy a bunch of ice cream, chocolate and soda, and then play video games the rest of the day.

Start the live you deserve NOW.

1) Take a walk for 1 or 2 hours
2) Sit down and think about what you want to achieve in this life. When it gives you a good feeling, its a good thing. Also think about the persons that are important in your life
3) Sit down and write your goals down
4) Ask yourself how you can achieve these goals
5) go for it

I know the mood you are in and i used to bury it with playing online games and i am still doing it sometimes.
This mood is a good thing. It is a signal. Listen to it.

I can do that. Anytime. Easy! No problem at all.
The PROBLEM however is: Why do it? I mean, I can sit down right now and become a genious game programmer, or conceptual artist, or 3D designer, animator, character design, film-score composing, whatever I wish. And start earning lots of money and eventually starting a company as I have sort of done (dreamvoidstudios.com) and become a CEO of a gigantic company.
EASY.

But... why do it?
WHY?

cheez_2806
1st August 2011, 11:41
Hey man~
I was confused and lost, was pondering about the same questions you probably have in mind about one week ago

With the help and guidance of fellow Avalonians -
Don't try to look for the truth externally - look within. So its like try not to "think" everything in the mind but with your heart. I suppose you have to calm down and slow down a little to be able to do that...at least for me it helps.

and...maybe I believe being the present moment is important. Worrying about the future and its consequences like what you going to get out of it is gonna blind you to see the beauty in all things in the present.

Slow down and take a step back, I believe we will all get there someday, but rushing for an answer now is really not gonna get you anywhere really....

Lord Sidious
1st August 2011, 11:57
I never have to ask anyone where to go anymore.
I have so many people who told me where to go in the past, I memorised it! :p

mekiac
1st August 2011, 11:57
I cant answer the question why some people want to have much money or power. Maybe it makes them happy, maybe they think it will make them happy in the future.
If that is not your goal that this is perfectly fine.

Your goal can be: I want to be happy.
Thats a nice goal i think. Is there any way to achieve that goal right now?
Maybe...
Doing something you have been avoiding for a long time
Telling a person you are close to, that you are thankful that he or she is in your life
A walk in nature
Doing some sports
or anything else that comes to your mind

If you cant think of anything, please be patient.
Life is full of ups and downs.
And usually a deep down is followed by an up, that you really dont want to miss.

Maybe have a look at this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNiS2OI-bSk
I always enjoy his videos.

Rainbowbrite
1st August 2011, 13:05
Hi Peter!

I am by no means an expert lol, but i sincerely understand and empathise with what you are going through - i also understand that me telling you that wont necessarily help you... So with that in mind please feel free to disregard my post lol, this is all only from my understanding and as such is certainly fallible...

As far as what you say about life's 'cookie' at the end, i'm not certain it's really like that - i have the view that the treasure at the end is about picking up the gems you find on the journey - these (to me) are things like a moment of laughter, an 'epiphany', a breakthrough of understanding, different realisations and experiences (both spiritual and physical) that add up to enrich the whole sum of your existence. Then, that's your treasure at the end of this human experience. I may be well wrong lol - it's just a perspective! I think everyone's experience and understanding is unique, and personally i like that :)

As far as 'why?' I say - 'why not?'. Nothing ventured nothing gained. From my experience that's where the fun is, when i was wrestling with something very similar to what you describe that was my conclusion. The big questions are difficult and simple at the same time.

As far as finding some clarity, which is what i think you are looking for - everyone has given you sterling advice that is very well worth looking at imho.

Especially meditation.

The answers to what i asked could only really come from within me, and meditation really helps. Also, cutting out things like aspartame and msg, eating healthier and nature (with a capital N) helped me personally. (i could give a huge list here but i don't think that's what you're after...)

I do hope this helps and i think you're great - you have the guts to ask :)

Blessings - Rain

sirac
1st August 2011, 13:16
(sirac has answered the phone; scatter:sometimes an observation sometimes an expedience) it is so, that i always worry about the influx of the new ones. you 18 now, that means you still have to attack many phases of life before you'll properly feel inclined to call yourself a man. i hate it too when they say revelation is for the old & that u incredibly fortunate to experience this while young.. its like the whole system is unprepared. it almost then seems to be aware when young is a pathologos (lacking a proper english noun, i'll go back to the latin). is it of the world's inclination that they want something pre-made, like indigo children. you already have a firm base in all of the thoughts you take. you need to know how to handle them. infact many of them are already a firm meditation. one just needs to put them in place in the heart like that with minimum process time, and then Life itself tends to answer you, i.e. tends to grow you. this other thing they speak of, take careful note of it. since u lazy (like me perhaps), working primarily with tools of mind in this should we call it first phase, it helps to put your mind in alternate situations where it processes differently. you probably notice that your games only allow a limited but infinite set of comprehension within a sphere. it would not then be the games you are addicted to, but the mindset within the games...hence therefore even forceful exposure to other mind-flow inducing patterns {as these suggest} would be useful to you. each master has their own preferred us set. Its true that when you engaged here, you already melted your forceful emotions from your first post. one knows how these go,..you'll probably cycle very strongly back to them in a time...at that time, don't feel cut off to ask more questions.
take careful note of what the Tigress said. its probably why you feel the force of laziness most forcibly now. their are a whole tangle of past juices in their. so-long as you head into the storm with this overall strategic action in mind, that gradually you'd sort out all that pertains to you....hence they say: relax, enjoy the ride.

ulli
1st August 2011, 14:01
You are the brain in the fish bowl.
Excessive thinking leads to one end thought, repeating over and over
"what's the point?????"

You are probably sick of advice by now, but here is one more, fwiw.

Fact is, potentially human beings are more than body, emotion and mind.
To find that REAL self using only the mind is futile effort, you are wasting time.

All parts of your being must be engaged, and interact in a healthy way,
then there wil be glimmers of higher truths.

Then you will see that your brilliant mind was simply a tool.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/52860799/In-Search-of-the-Miraculous

ulli
1st August 2011, 14:13
Chapter one, paragraph one, of this life changing book:
(Just putting it here in case someone might receive a fragrance of it's perfume...)

I RETURNED to Russia in November, 1914, that is, at the beginning of the first world war, after a rather long journey through Egypt, Ceylon, and India. The war had found me in Colombo and from there I went back through England.
When leaving Petersburg at the start of my journey I had said that I was going to "seek the miraculous." The "miraculous" is very difficult to define. But for me this word had a quite definite meaning. I had come to the conclusion a long time ago that there was no escape from the labyrinth of contradictions in which we live except by an entirely new road, unlike anything hitherto known or used by us. But where this new or forgotten road began I was unable to say. I already knew then as an undoubted fact that beyond the thin film of false reality there existed another reality from which, for some reason, something separated us. The "miraculous" was a penetration into this unknown reality. And it seemed to me that the way to the unknown could be found in the East. Why in the East? It was difficult to answer this. In this idea there was, perhaps, something of romance, but it may have been the absolutely real conviction that, in any case, nothing could be found in Europe.
On the return journey, and during the several weeks I spent in London, everything I had thought about the results of my search was thrown into confusion by the wild absurdity of the war and by all the emotions which filled the air, conversation, and newspapers, and which, against my will, often affected me.
But when I returned to Russia, and again experienced all those thoughts with which I had gone away, I felt that my search, and everything connected with it, was more important than anything that was happening or could happen in a world of "obvious absurdities."

KosmicKat
1st August 2011, 16:42
Are you listening?

Let me amplify that a little (I hope I am not misunderstanding the Venerable Pie)

When you listen to yourself, what do you hear?

RedeZra
1st August 2011, 17:07
Ok, I have come to the conclusion that, I can't look for truth. I need to experience truth.
What do I do?, where do I go?


truth is like a thousand slaps in the face


I don't know why you want to experience that

Russ1959
1st August 2011, 17:12
A simple humble Prayer can often help you Afflicto.
Identify with your personal belief source and ask for the help you seek.
If you allow yourself to find your higher source the answers you seek will slowly and surely unfold but one step at a time my friend!
Good Luck!

Camilo
1st August 2011, 17:17
Ok, I have come to the conclusion that, I can't look for truth. I need to experience truth.
What do I do?, where do I go?
I want to see a hypnotherapist or psychic or something. A real one, not a cold-reading whore.

Well, I guess your age says it all. You need to grow up. Nothing of value will be found outside of youself. All the answers are inside yourself. Live in the now, one day at a time. Give yourself a chance to go through life and experience it, flavor it. Be kind to yourself.

Fred Steeves
1st August 2011, 17:26
I'm thankful that the most I worried about at 18 was the holy teenage trinity: Having money in my pocket, so I could get stoned, and get laid. All in no particular order...

Cheers,
Fred

christian
1st August 2011, 17:53
Let go of everything? That's what I WANT to do. But i can't.
I NEED to know whether I'm a delusional psychopathic retard desperate for something in life that has meaning and purpose
Or if I am in fact a soul having a human experience.

Whether you say you can or you say you can't - you're right both ways.
What you really are depends on the point of view from where it's being examined.



I'm not gonna live this retarded life of misery until I know for a fact, that there IS a cookie for me at the end.
Because if I really really walk this life and there is no cookie... well, I failed and I'm a stupid ****.

Maybe you wouldn't recognize the cookie even if it was right in front of you. Just because you read the last page of a book doesn't mean you know the content.

Are you seriously saying "if there is no cookie in the end, the only reasonable thing is to stop living instantly"? I really pity you then. How about "all life is enjoyable" instead of "let me have a cookie in the end".

Living to wait for a stinking cookie, if that was what life is all about, I'd stop right now.

Maybe a hypnotherapy could really help you. I am intrigued by Dolores Cannon's method, she has students in Norway. http://www.dolorescannon.com/students.php#NORWAY


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwaDUFjga1k

zebowho
1st August 2011, 18:13
Start the live you deserve NOW.

1) Take a walk for 1 or 2 hours
2) Sit down and think about what you want to achieve in this life. When it gives you a good feeling, its a good thing. Also think about the persons that are important in your life
3) Sit down and write your goals down
4) Ask yourself how you can achieve these goals
5) go for it

I know the mood you are in and i used to bury it with playing online games and i am still doing it sometimes.
This mood is a good thing. It is a signal. Listen to it.

I can do that. Anytime. Easy! No problem at all.
The PROBLEM however is: Why do it? I mean, I can sit down right now and become a genious game programmer, or conceptual artist, or 3D designer, animator, character design, film-score composing, whatever I wish. And start earning lots of money and eventually starting a company as I have sort of done (dreamvoidstudios.com) and become a CEO of a gigantic company.
EASY.

But... why do it?
WHY?

Step back, quiet your mind and then try to look at it from our perspective. You're reply says it all. Your impatience is getting the better of you and will continue to do so until you can calm that down.

I suspect the video games are giving you that sense of impatience as well. By this I mean, I've noticed with our younger people, they rush through a game, eager to get to the end. There's no exploring (even when there is some available in the game). They have to be the first to end it, get the perks, get the bonuses, and the online play is rush, rush, rush. Several people here have told you to meditate, find a quite place to sit and listen, even close your eyes and just be. Allow life to surround you. Put the games away and try it, it will be easier!

So if you can do all that (in your reply) then why not use it to your advantage? As a fellow musician I can tell you that creating music is also a path, something we walk. Its another form of meditation that also has creation. Plus it will allow you to get those emotions out, its a cleansing process. I've been playing for 36+ years so this is experience. Forget about the "CEO, big corp, making tons of money" end game. Don't jump past that path your angst is screaming about, your angst is telling you, YOU need to start looking at the path at your feet, you need to start honoring yourself and the path you are now starting.

Try creating those masterpieces, not for the end result but in putting each note in its place, creating the movement, create the depth within the textures of the different layers. Then stand back and watch out! You'll be releasing these emotions and experiencing (as well as offering the same for someone down the road). I listened to "Strength is Everything", you have potential to "move"...start by moving yourself. When my music moves me, it moves others!

Find a way to train yourself to replace the game play with music creation (or graphic design etc), this will train you to slow down because the path we're on isn't a bullet train to race us to the end. There is a prize at the end but there is so much more in getting there! :) This also applies to the music. Take advantage of that and you'll be accomplishing so much more than just an end result.

-z

P.S. I know this may not help but count yourself lucky, most of your peers aren't even looking in the direction you are. They'll get there but right now, you're ahead of that curve but you have to have control of it, to allow it to be too!

Decibellistics
1st August 2011, 18:51
Here's some words of wisdom homie.


For a sorcerer, reality, or the world we all know, is only a description that has been pounded into you from the moment you were born.
The reality of our day-to-day life, then, consists of an endless flow of perceptual interpretations which we have learned to make in common.


I am teaching you how to see as opposed to merely looking, and stopping the world is the first step to seeing.
The sorcerer's description of the world is perceivable. But our insistence on holding on to our standard version of reality renders us almost deaf and blind to it.
When you begin this teaching, there is another reality, that is to say, there is a sorcery description of the world, which you do not know. As a sorcerer and a teacher, I am teaching you that description. What I am doing with you consists, therefore, in setting up that unknown reality by unfolding its description, adding increasingly more complex parts as you go along.
In order to arrive at seeing one first has to stop the world. Stopping the world is indeed an appropriate rendition of certain states of awareness in which the reality of everyday life is altered because the flow of interpretation, which ordinarily runs uninterruptedly, has been stopped by a set of circumstances alien to that flow. In this case the set of circumstances alien to our normal flow of interpretations is the sorcery description of the world. The precondition for stopping the world is that one has to be convinced; in other words, one has to learn the new description in a total sense, for the purpose of pitting it against the old one, and in that way break the dogmatic certainty, which we all share, that the validity of our perceptions, or our reality of the world, is not to be questioned.
After stopping the world the next step is seeing. By that I mean what could be categorized as responding to the perceptual solicitations of a world outside the description we have learned to call reality.

A man goes to knowledge as he goes to war, wide awake, with fear, with respect, and with absolute assurance. Going to knowledge or going to war in any other manner is a mistake, and whoever makes it will live to regret his steps.
When a man has fulfilled those four requisites there are no mistakes for which he will have to account; under such conditions his acts lose the blundering quality of a fool's acts. If such a man fails, or suffers a defeat, he will have lost only a battle, and there will be no pitiful regrets over that.
* * *

A man of knowledge is one who has followed truthfully the hardships of learning, a man who has, without rushing or without faltering, gone as far as he can in unraveling the secrets of power and knowledge. To become a man of knowledge one must challenge and defeat his four natural enemies.
When a man starts to learn, he is never clear about his objectives. His purpose is faulty; his intent is vague. He hopes for rewards that will never materialize for he knows nothing of the hardships of learning.
He slowly begins to learn--bit by bit at first, then in big chunks. And his thoughts soon clash. What he learns is never what he pictured, or imagined, and so he begins to be afraid. Learning is never what one expects. Every step of learning is a new task, and the fear the man is experiencing begins to mount mercilessly, unyieldingly. His purpose becomes a battlefield.
And thus he has stumbled upon the first of his natural enemies: fear! A terrible enemy--treacherous, and difficult to overcome. It remains concealed at every turn of the way, prowling, waiting. And if the man, terrified in its presence, runs away, his enemy will have put an end to his quest and he will never learn. He will never become a man of knowledge. He will perhaps be a bully, or a harmless, scared man; at any rate, he will be a defeated man. His first enemy will have put an end to his cravings.

It is not possible for a man to abandon himself to fear for years, then finally conquer it. If he gives in to fear he will never conquer it, because he will shy away from learning and never try again. But if he tries to learn for years in the midst of his fear, he will eventually conquer it because he will never have really abandoned himself to it.
Therefore he must not run away. He must defy his fear, and in spite of it he must take the next step in learning, and the next, and the next. He must be fully afraid, and yet he must not stop. That is the rule! And a moment will come when his first enemy retreats. The man begins to feel sure of himself. His intent becomes stronger. Learning is no longer a terrifying task.
When this joyful moment comes, the man can say without hesitation that he has defeated his first natural enemy. It happens little by little, and yet the fear is vanquished suddenly and fast. Once a man has vanquished fear, he is free from it for the rest of his life because, instead of fear, he has acquired clarity--a clarity of mind which erases fear. By then a man knows his desires; he knows how to satisfy those desires. He can anticipate the new steps of learning and a sharp clarity surrounds everything. The man feels that nothing is concealed.
And thus he has encountered his second enemy: Clarity! That clarity of mind, which is so hard to obtain, dispels fear, but also blinds. It forces the man never to doubt himself. It gives him the assurance he can do anything he pleases, for he sees clearly into everything. And he is courageous because he is clear, and he stops at nothing because he is clear. But all that is a mistake; it is like something incomplete. If the man yields to this make-believe power, he has succumbed to his second enemy and will be patient when he should rush. And he will fumble with learning until he winds up incapable of learning anything more. His second enemy has just stopped him cold from trying to become a man of knowledge. Instead, the man may turn into a buoyant warrior, or a clown. Yet the clarity for which he has paid so dearly will never change to darkness and fear again. He will be clear as long as he lives, but he will no longer learn, or yearn for, anything.
He must do what he did with fear: he must defy his clarity and use it only to see, and wait patiently and measure carefully before taking new steps; he must think, above all, that his clarity is almost a mistake. And a moment will come when he will understand that his clarity was only a point before his eyes. And thus he will have overcome his second enemy, and will arrive at a position where nothing can harm him anymore. This will not be a mistake. It will not be only a point before his eyes. It will be true power.
He will know at this point that the power he has been pursuing for so long is finally his. He can do with it whatever he pleases. His ally is at his command. His wish is the rule. He sees all that is around him. But he has also come across his third enemy: Power!
Power is the strongest of all enemies. And naturally the easiest thing to do is to give in; after all, the man is truly invincible. He commands; he begins by taking calculated risks, and ends in making rules, because he is a master.
A man at this stage hardly notices his third enemy closing in on him. And suddenly, without knowing, he will certainly have lost the battle. His enemy will have turned him into a cruel, capricious man, but he will never lose his clarity or his power.
A man who is defeated by power dies without really knowing how to handle it. Power is only a burden upon his fate. Such a man has no command over himself, and cannot tell when or how to use his power.
Once one of these enemies overpowers a man there is nothing he can do. It is not possible, for instance, that a man who is defeated by power may see his error and mend his ways. Once a man gives in he is through. If, however, he is temporarily blinded by power, and then refuses it, his battle is still on. That means he is still trying to become a man of knowledge. A man is defeated only when he no longer tries, and abandons himself.
He has to come to realize that the power he has seemingly conquered is in reality never his. He must keep himself in line at all times, handling carefully and faithfully all that he has learned. If he can see that clarity and power, without his control over himself, are worse than mistakes, he will reach a point where everything is held in check. He will know then when and how to use his power. And thus he will have defeated his third enemy.
The man will be, by then, at the end of his journey of learning, and almost without warning he will come upon the last of his enemies: Old age! This enemy is the cruelest of all, the one he won't be able to defeat completely, but only fight away.
This is the time when a man has no more fears, no more impatient clarity of mind--a time when all his power is in check, but also the time when he has an unyielding desire to rest. If he gives in totally to his desire to lie down and forget, if he soothes himself in tiredness, he will have lost his last round, and his enemy will cut him down into a feeble old creature. His desire to retreat will overrule all his clarity, his power, and his knowledge.
But if the man sloughs off his tiredness, and lives his fate though, he can then be called a man of knowledge, if only for the brief moment when he succeeds in fighting off his last, invincible enemy. That moment of clarity, power, and knowledge is enough.

Anything is one of a million paths. Therefore you must always keep in mind that a path is only a path; if you feel you should not follow it, you must not stay with it under any conditions. To have such clarity you must lead a disciplined life. Only then will you know that any path is only a path and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you to do. But your decision to keep on the path or to leave it must be free of fear or ambition. I warn you. Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary.
This question is one that only a very old man asks. Does this path have a heart? All paths are the same: they lead nowhere. They are paths going through the bush, or into the bush. In my own life I could say I have traversed long long paths, but I am not anywhere. Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn't, it is of no use. Both paths lead nowhere; but one has a heart, the other doesn't. One makes for a joyful journey; as long as you follow it, you are one with it. The other will make you curse your life. One makes you strong; the other weakens you.

Before you embark on any path ask the question: Does this path have a heart? If the answer is no, you will know it, and then you must choose another path. The trouble is nobody asks the question; and when a man finally realizes that he has taken a path without a heart, the path is ready to kill him. At that point very few men can stop to deliberate, and leave the path. A path without a heart is never enjoyable. You have to work hard even to take it. On the other hand, a path with heart is easy; it does not make you work at liking it.


I have told you that to choose a path you must be free from fear and ambition. The desire to learn is not ambition. It is our lot as men to want to know.
The path without a heart will turn against men and destroy them. It does not take much to die, and to seek death is to seek nothing.

For me there is only the traveling on the paths that have a heart, on any path that may have a heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge for me is to traverse its full length. And there I travel--looking, looking, breathlessly.

Fred Steeves
1st August 2011, 22:30
Hey, Decibellistics, may I humbly take a shot at what a person such as Hermes/Thoth might say to what you just expressed so truly and freely? "Shhhhhh".

Cheers,
Fred

Anchor
1st August 2011, 22:52
Ok, I have come to the conclusion that, I can't look for truth. I need to experience truth.
What do I do?, where do I go?
I want to see a hypnotherapist or psychic or something. A real one, not a cold-reading whore.


Let go of everything? That's what I WANT to do. But i can't.
I NEED to know whether I'm a delusional psychopathic retard desperate for something in life that has meaning and purpose
Or if I am in fact a soul having a human experience.

Ok.. listen
I'm not gonna live this retarded life of misery until I know for a fact, that there IS a cookie for me at the end.
You see? I'm not gonna bet that there is. Because if I really really walk this life and there is no cookie... well, I failed and I'm a stupid ****.


Keep in touch with myself? I want to get out of myself... I want to get out of my mind.


Ok. How do I go within my self?

In those messages, you walked a path that many take years over - so dont go feeling so down and frustrated.

The bottom line is no-one can do this for you.

My answer/advice for what it is worth, for the last quote above, is practice meditation regularly.

Lifebringer
1st August 2011, 23:03
your not a phychopath, unless you've harmed someone, and don't have remorse. That is connection to a soul and GOD, to have mercy on those who don't either understand you/on the same page or that haven't awakened enough to communicate. Patience is a God given blessing if we practice it, because all things must be revealed and it is in His time that they act. It is all in HIS plan and let go of the ego, because it is not a blessing. Let go and let GOD it is our time, and you will gradually feel it when you start releasing the binds/negativity from your soul but acknowleging short comings and not denying your own part in things you have participated in. If you find them detestable, realize it was a experience you had to go through to grow, and move away from it if it "bugs your soul" like this. You sound a little desperate, so I advise you to spend time and do some links until you begin to realize, what time it is and why time is destined to end and a new generation of a progressive golden era by HIS promise, will be fulfilled.

Breathe in through the mouth and exhale through the nose from the stomach on both. Enjoy and rejoice, for there is nothing that can harm you now, unless you harm yourself. When I used to get a little high strung, I always remember that "this too shall pass."
God speed.

DeDukshyn
1st August 2011, 23:08
Afflicto,

You probably have more than enough excellent advice from tyhis thread ... here's my 2 cents anyway:

Thinking should be done between "being" - as it prevents "being" - silencing the mind can take much much time of practice - don't be discouraged, keep trying.
What are you? It matters not - you are a consciousness that "experiences", attached to a rather well created primate body - if you need a definition - nothing more ...
What is your purpose? much more grand than you can imagine my friend - think big ;)
Where are we? in a dream, well, in two dreams - we have the global dream where we dream our agreements that creates "reality" and our personal dream where we go about and particpate in the variables that are available to us, inside the global dream. It is the same as a sleeping dreams except there are the laws of the universe that we must dream within - all the same and even the best neuro surgen with latest brainscan equipment cannot distinguish a sleeping dream from being awake and active, in the brain - there is no difference - except when sleeping - there's a part of the brain that shuts down all motor control while in REM sleep - all animals have this.

I recommend a book, an easy read, but helps to lay out the illusion and how to get above it. The book is called "The Four Agreements" by don Miguel Ruiz -- it contains ancient Toltec wisdom that has somehow survived hundreds or even thousands of years by word of mouth.

Good luck! And Enjoy! there is no good and no bad really .. just processes and outcomes, some less desireable than others - but it is all process ... ;)

jasontorque
1st August 2011, 23:11
Ok.. listen
I'm not gonna live this retarded life of misery until I know for a fact, that there IS a cookie for me at the end.
You see? I'm not gonna bet that there is. Because if I really really walk this life and there is no cookie... well, I failed and I'm a stupid ****.

I am unable to provide you with the answers you seek (perhaps no one can), other than to say that when you fall helplessly and irrationally in love or see the birth of your children, perhaps your perspective might change. I wish you well.

WhiteFeather
2nd August 2011, 00:41
"No knowledge is won without sacrifice, in order to gain anything, you must first lose everything".

Sierra
2nd August 2011, 00:44
I'm thankful that the most I worried about at 18 was the holy teenage trinity: Having money in my pocket, so I could get stoned, and get laid. All in no particular order...

Cheers,
Fred

<handing a wad of cash over> Fred, we've decided to send you to Norway to take Affs in hand and cheer him up ...

Sierra :)

WhiteFeather
2nd August 2011, 00:51
Let go of everything? That's what I WANT to do. But i can't.
I NEED to know whether I'm a delusional psychopathic retard desperate for something in life that has meaning and purpose
Or if I am in fact a soul having a human experience.

Whether you say you can or you say you can't - you're right both ways.
What you really are depends on the point of view from where it's being examined.



I'm not gonna live this retarded life of misery until I know for a fact, that there IS a cookie for me at the end.
Because if I really really walk this life and there is no cookie... well, I failed and I'm a stupid ****.

Maybe you wouldn't recognize the cookie even if it was right in front of you. Just because you read the last page of a book doesn't mean you know the content.

Are you seriously saying "if there is no cookie in the end, the only reasonable thing is to stop living instantly"? I really pity you then. How about "all life is enjoyable" instead of "let me have a cookie in the end".

Living to wait for a stinking cookie, if that was what life is all about, I'd stop right now.

Maybe a hypnotherapy could really help you. I am intrigued by Dolores Cannon's method, she has students in Norway. http://www.dolorescannon.com/students.php#NORWAY


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwaDUFjga1k

She is the goods, I call her grandma. And Yes, She definately knows her Sh...t LoL Just Gotta Love this woman....

EileenCookies
2nd August 2011, 01:00
At 18 I just wanted to go out and meet people (men in my case) and not much else went through my head. I just did what my parents and peers thought was good (I was the good girl). When that all came crashing down around my head at 19, I gave up. I knew my life wasn't working and I cried out in pain. ....Then the answer came.

It didn't take a recognizable form, but I knew it was my truth (at that age) and I followed it-all the way through. It was an invitation (if you want to know) to participate in a group....somehow I knew it was exactly what I needed/wanted....and I was right.

Just follow your intuition, and be ready to admit that what was true (the direction your life has been going) isn't true any longer.

the trojan
2nd August 2011, 01:27
I started a thread on here ,earlier this evening called the truth,(no link,Im not here to distract,if anyone wants to read it they can easily find it)
and after reflection while reading this thread I find some kind of affinity with afflictos obvious frustrations,
Maybe I am demanding the same,only approaching it in a different style


Afflicto,there are great pieces of advice on this page,a selection of ideologies and experience that sound great to me.
Some really touched me. I would agree with most of it.
Take what you like from any of the above, find your pace and go with your own flow.

Probably the best thread Ive read on here in a long while and Im only on page 1 !

Pete
2nd August 2011, 07:04
nice words Sierra, simplicity itself, follow your bliss whatever you decide is right for you is right.

Decibellistics
2nd August 2011, 07:17
Fred. I apologize. They are not directly mine. But supposedly Don Juan from Castaneda's books. Though I resonate so deeply with these words, that I am vicariously sending the message to this person. Thank you for the compliment though. I apologize for the lack of quotes.....I felt urgent in terms of posting the quote without forgetting about it or getting lazy and sidetracked so I just plopped it in here.

Paix!

Tane Mahuta
2nd August 2011, 07:34
Ok, I have come to the conclusion that, I can't look for truth. I need to experience truth.
. A real one, not a cold-reading whore.


Mate!!...you won't find the truth in those places!!

1 - What do you do?

You Re-search, Re-search & Re-search some more!!

2 - Where do you go?

Son....go to the corner of the room & sit there!! Stay there until you come out
of this mindset that you are in.


TM

oh yeah....welcome to Avalon!!

meeradas
2nd August 2011, 07:56
oh man... don't make the same mistake i made.

I thought about all these things and more for.... 3 fourths of this life.

Then i realized that i had experienced NOTHING - thinking had prevented me from actually doing.
Gifted in many ways, i thought it all through - what i could become, what i would do, the pros and cons of this and that, but, if, etc... i have seen & been it all! Just only in "my mind".
Major Bummer!! I ****in' wasted 3/4 of this life thinking about it ...

My advice? You have a talent, or more than one? - follow it/'em, develop it/'em, practice it/'em.
If you just think about it, it/they'll [I]leave you. And that'll be bitter. And then you'll have to learn self-forgiveness....

The next step is always right in front of you. Take it.

afflicto
2nd August 2011, 10:07
Thank you everyone for your advice.
I want to know how I can develop psychic powers and intuition... I've listened to stories after stories of how people have been led to a bookstore, just by listening to some random "inner voice" of some sort. And a book falls off and changes the whole life of that person.
I want this too! I want to be guided too! I don't wanna swim in this ocean of confusion till the end of time.
Is this also something I can learn through meditation?

mekiac
2nd August 2011, 10:56
Do you know the story of that guy who had been led to a forum, just by listening to some random "inner voice" of some sort? ;)

However i cant help you with your question. The only things I know about magic are:
- I dont need it
- This little story:

One disciple is bragging about his master to the disciple of another master. He claims that his teacher is capable of all sorts of magical acts, like writing in the air with a brush, and having the characters appear on a piece of paper hundreds of feet away.

"And what can YOUR master do?" he asks the other disciple.

"My master can also perform amazing feats," the other student replies. "When he's tired, he sleeps. When hungry, he eats".

afflicto
2nd August 2011, 11:48
So.. it's superstition then? a product of the complex brain and it's subconscious mind.
There is no such thing as a psychic? no such thing as intuition?

mekiac
2nd August 2011, 12:42
They are just as real as a tree and there is a chance that you gain them during your spiritual development.
But if you think they will make you happy, I have to disapoint you.
You cant become happy. You can only be happy. And there is only one person in this universe that is powerful enough to control your emotions.
You might see him the next time you come around a mirror ;)

I recommend that you read something about mindfulness. Maybe something from Thich Nhat Hanh.
It wont answer your questions, but it will make needless.

ulli
2nd August 2011, 12:59
Thank you everyone for your advice.
I want to know how I can develop psychic powers and intuition... I've listened to stories after stories of how people have been led to a bookstore, just by listening to some random "inner voice" of some sort. And a book falls off and changes the whole life of that person.
I want this too! I want to be guided too! I don't wanna swim in this ocean of confusion till the end of time.
Is this also something I can learn through meditation?


Those powers can be learnt, but looking for a shortcut would only bring nasty side effects.
The book I posted earlier on in the thread addresses all of these questions.

Intent and intensity are related, and without intent you can't manifest your wishes.
But too much intensity can make you fall on your face....
Or like a Scorpion with it's sting raised above it's head to aim at the enemy, if overly intense, the tail curves too far and the scorpion's sting enters it's own head.
So little moments of relaxation are necessary to avoid such a fail.
Meditation would work, even if only a couple of minutes a day.

Also, I recommend you start chasing some women, like someone said earlier... you are in the perfect age for that.

Fred Steeves
2nd August 2011, 13:06
I'm thankful that the most I worried about at 18 was the holy teenage trinity: Having money in my pocket, so I could get stoned, and get laid. All in no particular order...

Cheers,
Fred

<handing a wad of cash over> Fred, we've decided to send you to Norway to take Affs in hand and cheer him up ...

Sierra :)

Oh no you don't Sierra, 18 is JUST the right age to explore Sin City unescorted... Besides, me no thinks my wifey would approve.

Cheers,
Fred

DeDukshyn
3rd August 2011, 00:31
When your 18 - do everything, take risks (but not life threatening ones), live life to the fullest, experience all you can - by the time you are 21 - you'll have an excellent base of experience from which to view things from - then go from there. I'm going to have to agree a bit with Fred S on this one ... ;) Enjoy!

afflicto
3rd August 2011, 04:46
Women? oh no... I can't do that lol, I need some plastic surgery and teeth whitening if I'm gonna do that. and I don't have the money for that. and I'm not gonna get a job cause I'm not a slave.

ViralSpiral
3rd August 2011, 04:57
I'm not gonna get a job cause I'm not a slave.


Chuckle. I do love your gumption. I've given up offering advice. I do not have a switch, quick-fix, short-cut, book, method, system, panacea etc etc., to aid your malady. I am however, glad that you asked......

/me passes hat around for Petter's future

much love ♥

ulli
3rd August 2011, 10:13
Women? oh no... I can't do that lol, I need some plastic surgery and teeth whitening if I'm gonna do that. and I don't have the money for that. and I'm not gonna get a job cause I'm not a slave.

Flawed thinking, mate. Slaves never got paid.
Many millionaires started out by washing dishes in restaurants,
saving their first hard-earned pennies.
But I realize you have all the answers.

KosmicKat
3rd August 2011, 11:53
I want to know how I can develop psychic powers and intuition... I've listened to stories after stories of how people have been led to a bookstore, just by listening to some random "inner voice" of some sort. And a book falls off and changes the whole life of that person.
I want this too! I want to be guided too! I don't wanna swim in this ocean of confusion till the end of time.
Is this also something I can learn through meditation?
The psychic abilities, mindreading, being able to walk through "solid" matter, looks pretty cool doesn't it? As has been said, there are ways to obtain those abilities without developing the depth of character that first unearthed them. But those ways create an imbalance which is dangerous. At best you risk attracting the interest of dark beings who care nothing about your welfare. At worst you risk becoming their plaything.

Meditation is undoubtedly valuable. But it doesn't have to be sitting alone with an empty head. I suggest that you will begin to find what you are looking for by establishing your own connection with the foundation of all things. You may find it by exploring your own understanding of the world around you, using your mind to think critically, looking for flaws in ideas, comparing religious beliefs. If you enjoy the beauty of nature, you may find it there. If you have some creative ability you may find it using that.

Perhaps you should remember that "The goal is not the goal." You are more likely to find what you are looking for, by not looking for it.

What you want most, what you are searching for, you already have. But like a young child, you haven't discovered yet that the gift can be unwrapped, hence your frustration. As for that book falling off the shelf, you might have had to look long and hard but that is what brought you here. "You've taken your first step into a larger universe."


So.. it's superstition then? a product of the complex brain and it's subconscious mind.
There is no such thing as a psychic? no such thing as intuition?
There are indeed such things as psychics. The complex brain, which continues to baffle science, is, for all its sophistication, a temporary arrangement. A useful tool, a little like a magnifying glass. But not much more than that.


Women? oh no... I can't do that lol, I need some plastic surgery and teeth whitening if I'm gonna do that. and I don't have the money for that. and I'm not gonna get a job cause I'm not a slave.
Any girl (or guy, or maybe even a bicycle :cool:, nothing wrong with following your heart) who won't accept you without plastic surgery and pearly teeth is too short-sighted for you.

If you don't read anything else I have written, remember this: However confusing your life may seem, you have already embarked on your quest. What happens now will be a part of your journey. You will become that hero.

Sierra
3rd August 2011, 12:09
I'm thankful that the most I worried about at 18 was the holy teenage trinity: Having money in my pocket, so I could get stoned, and get laid. All in no particular order...

Cheers,
Fred

<handing a wad of cash over> Fred, we've decided to send you to Norway to take Affs in hand and cheer him up ...

Sierra :)

Oh no you don't Sierra, 18 is JUST the right age to explore Sin City unescorted... Besides, me no thinks my wifey would approve.

Cheers,
Fred

<rolling out from under the bio regression time machine to look at Fred> Really? I thought young guys traveled in packs ... as you wish you dear old fogy... <rolling back under the time machine to take out Fred's bio signature since it won't be needed...> <dropping the linear bolt for the timeline counter> <Whupsie Daisy ... gently placing Fred back on his timeline with wifey ...>

Sierra
3rd August 2011, 14:01
I just watched my first Dolores Cannon interview (Whitefeather! :kiss:) and I've been crouching on YouTube, watching more and more (the sun is coming up over here). Here is something that just rings my bells ... (Hopi Prophecy Rock is not mentioned but doesn't it just line up ...):

In this video Dolores Cannon talks about the separation into two earths, the current/original and the new earth of a higher frequency. We won't notice at first. It started in 2003. It has to be subtle in order to give human biology time to adjust to the higher frequency and the necessary DNA reactivation.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jGfONnxo5Y&NR=1
3jGfONnxo5Y&NR

Hi Affs! :hug:

Forget the surgery and get some teeth whitener! My husband has terrible teeth thanks to a bout with antibiotics in early childhood he decidedly lost and it hasn't stopped us from loving each other to bits for decades. It is the words out of the mouth that count.

Sierra :wave:

Tantauri
3rd August 2011, 14:40
If you can, attend one of Bill and Inelia's sessions.
Read Dianetics, The Modern Science of Mental Health.
Relax, in the long run you will be fine and find that which you seek. Try to view your life from now forward as an exciting adventurous journey.


Ok, I have come to the conclusion that, I can't look for truth. I need to experience truth.
What do I do?, where do I go?
I want to see a hypnotherapist or psychic or something. A real one, not a cold-reading whore.

afflicto
4th August 2011, 10:47
Bill and Inelia's Sessions?

afflicto
14th August 2011, 05:43
I am willing to train! I am willing to fight! I am willing!
I just need to know... is there anything to train? is there anything to fight?
By that I mean: Is "Spirituality" a product of the mind, or something more.
What if I end up 30 years later thinking to myself:" Wow... what I retard I was, I went to that temple and tried to... become spiritual, I read all those books...haha...wow..I was so stupid"...
I DO NOT want that to happen.

ViralSpiral
14th August 2011, 05:56
Good morning young' un

Been down any rabbit holes since your last confession?
Watched any good videos?
Read any interesting books?

By the way, The Book of Answers is currently out of stock. Please be patient


:)
http://www.4smileys.com/smileys/love-smileys/kiss-smileys.gif

meeradas
14th August 2011, 06:17
[...] What if I end up 30 years later thinking to myself: "Wow... what I retard I was, I went to that temple and tried to... become spiritual, I read all those books...haha...wow..I was so stupid"...
I DO NOT want that to happen.

Then stop thinking, for your sake!
Or stay right on the path to "accomplish" your greatest fear.:drama::lock1::ohwell::doh::frusty::fie::tsk:

ClandestineDisclosure
14th August 2011, 07:14
There's a lot of wisdom on this thread. Many of the sentiments I wanted to express have already been. So, from a fellow seeker of truth, I'll just toss you this cookie: There are no quick answers, dude.

Bollinger
14th August 2011, 09:01
Ok, I have come to the conclusion that, I can't look for truth. I need to experience truth.
What do I do?, where do I go?
I want to see a hypnotherapist or psychic or something. A real one, not a cold-reading whore.

Hello Afflicto,

Has it occurred to you that we are, in fact, all in the same boat as you? All your questions, frustrations and outcries stem from the age-old questions with which humanity has been grappling for the duration of its tenure here on planet Earth.

Where did I come from? Why am I here? Where am I going?

Science, religion and philosophy have battled with these questions for so long now that if you could take a survey of everyone now or at any time in the history of humanity, the overall answer is that we donít actually know with absolute certainty the answer to any of those questions.

As a direct result of this state of ďnot knowingĒ we often miss the most important point of living because not having this knowledge speaks volumes about the actual meaning of existence, of being, of living, of having a consciousness. Analogies prove nothing but are useful in aiding understanding, so here is one to help do just that.

If you play a game, do you ask: what is the point? In playing a game you are aware that you may win or lose? If you knew with absolute certainty the outcome of playing any game, would there be any point to playing it? I myself am persuaded that it is not possible to have this particular experience (i.e. of human life) if we come here with full knowledge and certainty of what itís all about.

The trouble is that our innate curiosity (which has to be present if we are to play this game properly) often gets the better of us and we may sometimes find ourselves somewhat depressed, withdrawn and unwilling to play. The point Iím trying to get across is that the only logical conclusion I can come to about the absence of certainty in almost everything we experience here is that it cannot be any other way.

So is there anything that we can be certain about? Yes. It is our own consciousness. That is the only thing we have. All else may in fact be an illusion, a hologram, a computer simulation, a movie, a projection, a thought, or some kind of pseudo-real universe that permits us to have direct contact with it via this form. We are confined here to do whatever we like, even hurt each other, but with one proviso: that we play the game.

Now, I will ask you again. What is the point of playing any game? Is it the short-lived joy of winning, the despair of losing or the longer experience of actually playing? When you play the game of life, you are not involved in just one game. Within it there are many different types. In fact, the possibilities are infinite. It would take infinite time to be involved in all of them and that is why we have so many people all busy within their particular little world beavering away thinking they are achieving something when in fact all they are doing is experiencing yet another wonderful facet of physical existence from which there are countless to choose.

One thing I would like to impart is that despite the illusion of fame and fortune that many people spend their time chasing, no single life or existence is more important in any way than another. There is no logical reason or necessity for any kind of hierarchy when it comes to consciousness. In that respect, we truly are all equal. No life is more or less significant, no experience is higher or lower in any degree however much the game of life wants us to think otherwise.

We now come to the difficult subject of morality. Is it right that one life should have the power to cause deliberate harm to another? What happens to such a life if they do that? Again, we donít know with absolute certainty but if the analogy of the game is anything to go by, it would appear that these people have decided to cheat, which as you know, is possible to do in all games. The definition of cheating is using any means to influence the outcome. If you are found out, the game is usually null and void and you will probably have to play again. In the game of life, if you are stupid enough to think you will not be found out, you will cheat, and there are many examples of that.

I donít know about anyone else but all my frustrations and questions about the meaning of life come to an abrupt end when the idea of the game is injected into the mix. That is why all this talk about conspiracy, doomsday, 2012, ghosts, UFOs, free energy and all the other things that we like to think about is really all just another aspect of the game. None of it is actually real or of any significance when taken at consciousness level, but appears to be of paramount importance when viewed from a physical angle.

The other thing I notice is that if you take all of the things that we are told by the whistle-blowers, people on the "inside", people with psychic abilities and all the others, there are so many contradictions, logical inconsistencies and downright lies that it makes it nearly impossible to come to any kind of viable conclusion on the basis of listening to any one of those sources severally or collectively.

So my advice is very simple. Play the game but know that it is a game.

afflicto
14th August 2011, 20:10
I just want to know if I'm going anywhere. Or If I'm here to go around and do random **** and then die.
At the moment I think I'm just a member of the human species, worthless, meaningless, just going around doing seemingly "important" things, to stay alive and strive for what is good. But for what reason? The only reason is the mechanisms built into the human species.
The reptilian brain.

It's not worth living this ****ty life if I'm my body just dies and my consciousness with it. All for no reason at all.

I'm willing to live life if I know that I will go on after death.
If death is death and nothing more, then there is no point whatsoever.
I don't want to make a difference in the world because to me, the world dies when I die.
Because everything I experience exist only in my mind. and I won't live to see the changes.

Seikou-Kishi
14th August 2011, 20:17
Ok, I have come to the conclusion that, I can't look for truth. I need to experience truth.
What do I do?, where do I go?
I want to see a hypnotherapist or psychic or something. A real one, not a cold-reading whore.

Ask yourself. Tell yourself in a quiet moment that you are ready for things to either start happening or continue happening. Any lull you have had has served its purpose and you are ready to move on. "You" have planned your life here, including the rate at which you develop. When you've decided you are ready, things will happen for you. :-)

I would just suggest though... allow yourself to be happy with your confusion. Don't think of it as something awkward that has to be got rid of, just sit and think "I'm confused, I don't know how things really are, and you know what? That's just fine by me. Maybe I'll know one day, maybe I won't, but I'll take the experiences as they come". By accepting your confusion, you nullify it's power over you and the serenity that produces (or rather, the serenity it re-allows) will be much more fulfilling than truth, whatever that is. Have you ever asked yourself what's so important about truth that it's worth getting all confused about? Absolutely nothing, better take a happy lie over an unhappy idea that insists it's truth.

Elly
14th August 2011, 20:56
Your mind seems active like a wild stallion. There is no point in figuring out life in this state. Take a step back from these questions, go out, meet with people, have fun, enjoy life. Even if you get some ''proof '', you'll not be content IMHO. I believe it's inertia that makes a mind go wild at times. Experience life, try new things, get out of your comfort zone. Through experience, you'll find your answers. You are full of potential, explore it.

Bollinger
14th August 2011, 21:20
I just want to know if I'm going anywhere. Or If I'm here to go around and do random **** and then die.
At the moment I think I'm just a member of the human species, worthless, meaningless, just going around doing seemingly "important" things, to stay alive and strive for what is good. But for what reason? The only reason is the mechanisms built into the human species.
The reptilian brain.

It's not worth living this ****ty life if I'm my body just dies and my consciousness with it. All for no reason at all.

I'm willing to live life if I know that I will go on after death.
If death is death and nothing more, then there is no point whatsoever.
I don't want to make a difference in the world because to me, the world dies when I die.
Because everything I experience exist only in my mind. and I won't live to see the changes.

I see. You are worried that there is nothing after life here. There is no concrete proof either way but there is probability. So ask yourself this question. Given all that you know about life and consciousness, what percentage would you put on life continuing in some form after we depart from here? Please put a number on it and post it on this thread.

Here is another thing to consider. Even though you know with absolute certainty that your own consciousness is real, can you actually prove it to anyone who has no experience of it? Can you prove it to the rocks and the sand? Can you prove it to the moon? Likewise, neither can anything beyond the grave prove to you that you go on.

It is simply a rule of the game that we come here without this knowledge for reasons explained in my last post on this thread. Rather than curse this rule, why not embrace it and play the game to the best of your ability. Eventually, as if by magic, something somewhere along the line will surface in front of you to let you know how well you're doing.

There is nothing to fear and nothing to gain by fear so release it to the wind and leave it behind. Greet the new you with open arms and embrace the challenge of life. That is the best anyone can do.

Sierra
14th August 2011, 21:38
Hi Affs!

You are blue I see ... :hug:

Listen sweetie, sometimes it helps to just let go. Let go. Love yourself. Don't try to figure it all out in one day. We been there and done that and it doesn't work that way. It works by walking a path. It is not the goal, it is how you got there. You remember the events of the WALK, not that you got the prize for five minutes ... know what I mean? The walk *is* the path lol.

You know what I've been figuring out lately? OBEs! I've been listening to Jake about OBEs and I am willing to try again. I had one OBE when I was in college. I had been studying about OBE's for awhile. I was at someone's house with a gang of people and we were watching the very first episode of Star Trek in color. I fell asleep on a couch with my head in my boyfriend's lap. When I woke up (or so I thought), at first I turned my head to see the TV, Star Trek was going, I was thinking about sitting up and started to ... looked down at my body and had four arms and four legs and two of the arms and legs were in the process of sitting up but I was stuck in my stomach area. I panicked. I was in complete terror. I was so scared I told myself go back to sleep and that is what I did. Haven't had a conscious OBE since.

So, two or three nights ago, I had the first psychic attack that I was aware of as an attack. I was feeling FEAR, resisting, resisting, resisting with all my might going into feeling the fear. At some point, I realized this was not MY fear and I remembered something I had read in a book, that to not own it, not give it power, let it pass through. Through. I let go, I just let go and deliberately felt the fear. Oh this was so startling Affs. It came into me, I felt it briefly (yep, same old same old fear) and it passed through me like a wind and then it was GONE. Wow, never had fear leave me like that.

Jake says after hearing about this, oh you are very close to an OBE, that is a FORM of OBE, when you can recognize an energy as not being you. Then I tell him my heart is leaping and my mouth is grinning for happiness. And then Jake said that is because you are on the verge of recall ...

See? You can have adventures just lying in bed <falling over laughing I mean, who knew Affs?>

Sierra :kiss:

Sierra
15th August 2011, 13:13
Affs,

I was just reading your post previous where you talk about wanting to know for sure if something was going to give you value before you did it because you didn't want to wake up one day old and kicking yourself around the block for wasting your time.

Listen, no knowledge is a waste of time. No spiritual practice is a waste of time. Everything you learn contributes to your understanding and contributes along the way in other ways such as discipline, focus, mental strength, flexible mind, spiritual understanding leading to wisdom. Try. Taste. Sample. Move on. Or when you find something that does something for you, stay. It is YOUR growth. It is YOUR path. You are sovereign. You choose what to learn next. You are the one that feels your heart saying I want this. All that along the way stuff? That is the real work. The practice is just to distract your mind while you struggle to attain the patience, the tolerance, the compassion to be polite to your fellow nun who insists on eating a raw onion every night and smells up the whole dorm in winter...

finally there!!!
15th August 2011, 13:46
Hey man I know life is hard I feel what you feel at time's and lets face im sure where not the only ones..the only thing the works for me is always try and think of something positive when I get that down feeling,
I know you probably heard that a million times already and im sorry i cant give you a more elaborate or detailed answers but its what works for me also MUSIC it always soothes my soul..ZEWsstTK5Fc

Star1111
15th August 2011, 14:20
Truth will find YOU, trust me. It is already in you. Keep listening to your higher self and in addition, study, read, learn, contemplate, meditate and be calm........... slow down and it WILL come to you.
Watch your words and actions in the meantime, do everything with LOVE in mind.

KosmicKat
16th August 2011, 00:24
I just want to know if I'm going anywhere. Or If I'm here to go around and do random **** and then die.
At the moment I think I'm just a member of the human species, worthless, meaningless, just going around doing seemingly "important" things, to stay alive and strive for what is good.
Firstly, I can only offer my own version of an answer. It might give you some direction to explore, or it might mislead you completely. Are you going somewhere? I have no doubt that you are. My own belief (and I wouldn't advise you to just adopt it, for any reason) is that you are at the beginning of a magnificent quest to find, merge with, and diverge from your creator. It almost certainly will take more than one "lifetime", it may take many.

Be open to the possibilities that show themselves to you, but don't be naieve. Ask the question. Look more closely. And be prepared to embrace the extraordinary.

Mandala
16th August 2011, 01:10
Let go of everything? That's what I WANT to do. But i can't.
I NEED to know whether I'm a delusional psychopathic retard desperate for something in life that has meaning and purpose
Or if I am in fact a soul having a human experience.

Ok.. listen
I'm not gonna live this retarded life of misery until I know for a fact, that there IS a cookie for me at the end.
You see? I'm not gonna bet that there is. Because if I really really walk this life and there is no cookie... well, I failed and I'm a stupid ****.

The cookie you are looking for is in your heart. You have the cookie. You have been lied to and it has been hidden from you. I think you are still in "Information Overload", doing the WTF is going on? Many of us have gone through this or something similar.

David gave some wonderful information to you.

Calm down, learn to find your peace and trust yourself.

Lord Sid asks, Why are you so desperate? You feel desperate and have an overwhelming need for more information and answers. The truth.

You are right where you should be. Everything is unfolding for you as it should. This is part of your human experience, my fellow spiritual being.

As corny as it seems, "Trust the Force, Luke." The cookie is there.

Anchor
16th August 2011, 01:45
I am willing to train! I am willing to fight! I am willing!
I just need to know... is there anything to train? is there anything to fight?
By that I mean: Is "Spirituality" a product of the mind, or something more.
What if I end up 30 years later thinking to myself:" Wow... what I retard I was, I went to that temple and tried to... become spiritual, I read all those books...haha...wow..I was so stupid"...
I DO NOT want that to happen.

I think that the root cause of this "analysis paralysis" is fear.

You need to take a long hard look at that.

I know for a fact that you can do this :)

Sierra
17th August 2011, 19:13
Hey man I know life is hard I feel what you feel at time's and lets face im sure where not the only ones..the only thing the works for me is always try and think of something positive when I get that down feeling,
<snip>

And that works incredibly well for me too. :)

Grover Orange
22nd October 2011, 00:02
I just want to know if I'm going anywhere. Or If I'm here to go around and do random **** and then die.
At the moment I think I'm just a member of the human species, worthless, meaningless, just going around doing seemingly "important" things, to stay alive and strive for what is good. But for what reason? The only reason is the mechanisms built into the human species.
The reptilian brain.

It's not worth living this ****ty life if I'm my body just dies and my consciousness with it. All for no reason at all.

I'm willing to live life if I know that I will go on after death.
If death is death and nothing more, then there is no point whatsoever.
I don't want to make a difference in the world because to me, the world dies when I die.
Because everything I experience exist only in my mind. and I won't live to see the changes.

I've had similar questions/conversation with myself. Iíll give you the best I have on thisÖ

I think if you were listened to, allowed to speak freely, with the right kind of person there to simply listen and hear what you say, what you speak of in this thread would begin to become more and more clear, resulting in the relief and understanding Iím sure youíre looking for.

Itís a special kind of listening, more like listening and guiding one to find the answers in the mind. I donít think you need answers or opinions from others (and yet Iím giving you an opinion here!) Donít get me wrong, answers and opinions from others can be very, very valuable, but based on your posts in this thread, I feel the answers you seek are within you, and whatís needed is guidance from someone who knows how to walk this kind of terrain. Iím at groverorange@gmail.com if you want to get a better idea about this.