Might have to resign today.....

[Ammit]

Hi all

I might have to resign today because I wish to take on another job which is near by to help my income. My boss however is refusing to give me a reference due to "conflicting views"?

I work 18 miles away for a company where I look after serious mental health residents with very bad behaviour problems/learning disabillity and Dementia.

The part time job I want is helping retired folk in there own homes for 1 hour per session. This will be worked only during my days off.

Totally different jobs, and the boss is giving me a hard time for being cheeky enough to look elsewhere for work.

Oh the power they want over us is criminal.


Ammit

[ulli]

Ammit, use your freedom while you still have it.
Just quit and start the new job.
Whatever rubbish comes up at this time will soon be forgotten.
I pray that you move forward with courage.
You have my backup support in your decision.

[Fred Steeves]

Good things happen to good people. Hang in there, the times they are a changin.

Cheers,
Fred

[Ammit]

Thanks guys for your comments. I have stated to my boss that I will not allow a part time job to conflict in any way with my full time job, falls on deaf ears. I have been a faithful employee with them for 2 years and helped to train many staff during that time, It is just a shame to realise that you are indeed a number on a piece of paper headed `profit and loss`.

[ktlight]

Hi all

I might have to resign today because I wish to take on another job which is near by to help my income. My boss however is refusing to give me a reference due to "conflicting views"?

I work 18 miles away for a company where I look after serious mental health residents with very bad behaviour problems/learning disabillity and Dementia.

The part time job I want is helping retired folk in there own homes for 1 hour per session. This will be worked only during my days off.

Totally different jobs, and the boss is giving me a hard time for being cheeky enough to look elsewhere for work.

Oh the power they want over us is criminal.


Ammit

In UK, employers are legally bound to say nothing detrimental about employees, especially in references. Also, employers have jurisdiction only over the time employed and have nothing to do with what you want to do in your spare time. Point this out to the employer. If he gives you a hard time or threatens to disemploy you, you can always go to arbitration where he will learn a lesson.

[Ammit]

thats correct KTLight, but I think they have a right to refuse to give one due to risk of being sued.

But, they can put the truth, as long as they can back it up. I have however done nothing wrong in 2 years.

[ulli]

I think I might have had one of those prophet moments....
I saw you out of the permanent job for good,
and getting established and doing really, really well with those one hour visit jobs.

[ktlight]

thats correct KTLight, but I think they have a right to refuse to give one due to risk of being sued.

But, they can put the truth, as long as they can back it up. I have however done nothing wrong in 2 years.

Then, to your prospective second employer, you could probably explain that, despite the reluctance of the first employer, you are still employed by the first employer, which should speak volumes.

[Ammit]

I am on that already KTLIght, I have already sent them a list of past employers to obtain references from.

[PHARAOH]

Only goes to further show, how much power each and every individual has, that they are always looking to control you. Think in these terms and you will be successful. The power is all yours.

[christian]

Ammit, I feel for you, don't let it pull you down, stay decent and let the dices fall where they may, eventually we all reap what we sow.



In UK, employers are legally bound to say nothing detrimental about employees, especially in references.

Same in Germany, but therefore there is code language, e.g. something to the tune of "he was a jolly good fellow" means "he has an alcohol problem", there are many other much more subtle formulations for other issues and even little stains on the paper are used as secret signs.

[Lord Sidious]

I would offer to go and ''talk to'' the guy, but I am a long way away.
I wish you the best, hopefully the new job can fill the hours of the old one.

[Seikou-Kishi]

Your boss has no right to claim 'conflicting views', whatever the hell he means by that. Your 'views' are your own business and what you do outside work is none of his. If you do your job well, it's none of his business what is going on when you're not doing it.

[Maia Gabrial]

Ammit, do you have copies of past performance evaluations, preferrably with the boss' signature on them? If they're good, then it show that your boss is just being a butthead and doesn't want to see you leave. Maybe this could act as your reference.... You may as well start putting in apps and resumes now because your boss knows your looking for more money. He might just get meaner and fire you for those "conflicting interests"....

These types of companies only THNK they have control over you. You are the one that has to decide what you want to do and then go for it. The power is always in your hands. Just a reminder....

[TigaHawk]

Bring ur phone in ur chest pocket, have it recording.

Ask ur bos again in his office why he thinks he cant give you a proper reference and why it would be conflicting. Be polite, well mannered, dont get angry or react badly nomatter how the conversation goes. Catch him out with his arrogance on record that he's doing it purely to be a prick.

Explain to you're interviewer the situation and ask them to call him for a reference regardless. Give them a copy of the recording - with the request they only listen to it shuld the reference be bad.

[Lord Sidious]

I am the type of guy to take a hardline approach, so I have to temper that when I work for someone to get them their remedy.
''Do you know where the khyber pass is boss?''
''Good, stick your job there, nugget''
See what I mean? :p


Bring ur phone in ur chest pocket, have it recording.

Ask ur bos again in his office why he thinks he cant give you a proper reference and why it would be conflicting. Be polite, well mannered, dont get angry or react badly nomatter how the conversation goes. Catch him out with his arrogance on record that he's doing it purely to be a prick.

Explain to you're interviewer the situation and ask them to call him for a reference regardless. Give them a copy of the recording - with the request they only listen to it shuld the reference be bad.

Very, very bad idea.
That could break one of the systems statutes, like the listening devices act.
Do that and you might be up for jail time.
It varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction.

[Ammit]

Tigahawk, I will not record him as I believe to do so without first informing him as such, is illegal or could have legalities when the recording is passed on to others..

I am actually in the frame of mind to call him before i go to work and save myself 8 quid in fuel, but seems cowardice.

[DevilPigeon]

-----

Is there someone else from the company that could give a reference instead? For example, the company I work at, requests for references etc usually go to the department manager/team leader of the individual rather than "the main man" so to speak...

[Ammit]

I asked my direct female manager and she has sided with the general manager.

I will end up owing some money I suppose for holiday used and not accumulated but can deal with that later, the managers there seem to hide behind a veil with the general manager, so all things can be very difficult.

[Ruby L.]

----------

[ktlight]

Ask your employer why he has an attitude about what you want to do in your own time. It really has nothing to do with anyone but yourself. All you want is recommendation, which he cannot have a problem with. The only fear he can have about giving you a reference is because, it seems from his reaction to your request, he is going to be detrimental. However, most employers understand, if an ominous reference has been issued, it has to be expected if they do not want to lose staff (in your case you have said to him that that is not the case). The only person who could sue him is yourself, unless he overstates his praise which you would not be able to fulfil. Don't fall for it.

[Rosco1]

Hi Ammit,

Why not go above your General Managers head and ask the owners for a reference ?
In other words it will prove that you won't take things lying down.

If this doesn't work then go to your local authority who issues special licences for them to operate their business. Once the local authority is aware of your problem, they might look what else they are not complying with!

Failing that, try going down to your local 'Citizens Advice Bureau'.

Whatever course you choose to take, Don't let them get away with it!

Make a stand!

[Darla Ken Pearce]

Many times in my life I've started over by establishing myself without references. It's true, it gets easier with experience doing it and little else is required but a little faith in your own intuition and instincts. What makes you think you need these people's reference and approval in this difficult job to begin again? It's old programming that is not helpful or of value today. Your boss has the clearer vision ahead and knows you will be able to get free of this challenging and more oppressive job with the greatest ease.

He can see this, perhaps, much clearer than you can at present. Your immediate supervisor can see it, as well. This is where their anger and fear comes from and why they wll not cooperate. So, they can see this better than you can see it yourself. In order to control you, they withhold whatever it is ~ YOU THINK YOU NEED TO SUCCEED. These are just more of the same old duality games and often in the past, they worked well, and you give up doing what your heart tells you to do out of fear.

Sometimes you must look closer to see where their fear lies and why it's been so successful in the past. His fear and yours. Just observe the control issues at hand here.

Then, go above these old ways we have of judging each other usng such as outdated things as references, credit, resumes and such. Those methds belong to a corrupt system and are not being carried forward into the new day that has dawned for you and any who are responsiive to their own hearts instead. Joy and peace of mind are yours for the asking. The question is whether you will give up the old illusions for the sake of your own happiness. Do you trust yourself and your own heart?

Be not afraid. Your boss is rightly the one who sees he has already lost your valuable service down the line when this all plays out ~ so much so that he is striking back at that coming loss to frighten you out of your courage to take this new kinder and more rewarding occupation with people who wlll really appreciate all your efforts. He knows this well and can see it even if you can't see it yet...

These games end when we refuse to cooperate and go to a hgher authority. That of our own hearts and higher power that is always available to guide our path. Follow your heart without these old 3D constructs and fears of the unknown. Your boss can see this already, so it's time you saw it, too. Then the doubts will vanish like a dense fog. Just be who you are without fear. The dross will fall away ~ if you can allow it. Use your heart now, not your "mind." You can't lose, it's required in this new day that has dawned on Earth in the present moment in time or out of it. Much love! xoxoxoxox

Edited note ~ A new compromise is always possible ~ once you have a clear understanding of the "fear game" being played here and go forth with this new perspective. xoxox

[eaglespirit]

Hi Ammit...Wishing You Well!

Ammit....I do not know You but I DO know this from the 'ether'

You are a loving/giving person with innate gifts...your boss fears losing you...go with your heart solely on this one...you have something to give in a very big way...and that expression of Your Own Higher Vibration is just waiting for You to decide to fully express it.

You are a humble and powerful Spirit...You are in control of opening the gate to help others YOUR way...in unlimited goodness!

[Camilo]

Screw him. Honor your sovereingty.

[golden lady]

I do feel for you Ammit,
I think you should leave well alone with your boss now, keep your integrity, do not take on his negativity.
As you said you have written off for past employers references , so hopefully you may not need this silly mans reference at all. In any case be honest as you can with your perspective employer.
You just don't what the future holds maybe , just maybe as Ulli said a whole new future may present itself.
Good luck

Ps
Or as an old Boss of my mine once gave me these words of wisdom #¥$k em!!;)

[Watching from Cyprus]

Dear Ammit,

I believe your boss really appreciate your work for him and he is afraid that you might go for another job with a competitor (remember that everybody believe that everybody lies), which is understandable, so why don't you tell your boss full details about your second job which is actually like a charity job since it only pays USD 1/hour, and if he still does not like the idea then tell him/her, to give increase your salary with USD 1/hour and you will not need his recommendation letter. I am sure that a job that is paying USD 1/hour does not require recommendation letter after all. What you need to do to get that job is just to step up to the plate, go there personally and sell yourself honestly as YOU, and you will get it. Stop being afraid, and believe in yourself.

My warmest regards and love to you.. Good luck.

Peter

[panopticon]

G'day Ammit,

There's been some excellent advice in this thread.
I don't know the industrial relations law where you are so am unable to offer advice.
If you have a shop steward/delegate who isn't a "company man" approach him/her for advice.

Do you enjoy/like your present job?
If not, then find another while you work where you are.
I always knew when it was time to move on because I would stop having fun.

Prospective employers sometimes appreciate the "problem" of an existing employer.
I once knew a bloke whose boss deliberately changed his hours (on a weekly basis) to make it harder for him to attend interviews.
Some people can be smarmy buggars!

Kind Regards, :yo:
Panopticon

[jagman]

Ammit, Your boss sounds like he is a bully! Dont let yourself be intimidated. I would go to work and walk into his office and tell him
what your plans are. If he becomes belligerent be calm reach into your pocket and tell him you got something for him.
Pull out your middle finger and stick it in his face! Sorry Ammit weird morning better not do
this