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jason4444
21st January 2012, 17:45
So I'm gonna try and explain this as best I can and I want anyone and everyone to feel free to say whatever they want. I'm gonna have to give you some background information before I can get into it. As a kid I was raised in a very conservative way. I was quite religious and ignorant. This is because of my dad and I's closeness. My dad has one of the greatest minds I've ever known, and I don't say that because he's my dad. Going into 9th grade my parents got a divorce and that's when I saw the true colors of my dad. There was no abuse or anything of that sort, but, for lack of a better term, the ways he was able to just understand and get around everything and use that against my mom (in court) really drove me away from him. To this day he still takes her back to court for the most ridiculous things and I don't know how he gets away with it. Anyways, I learned to deal with the emotional stress on my own. My high school years were great and I was pretty damn healthy (psychologically, emotionally, and physically). I still had my conservative views, which I laugh about now, but I managed to keep some open-mindedness in regards to peoples' opinions and beliefs. My first semester of 12th grade was when I started to smoke weed and that's when everything changed (for the better). I knew I had found something incredible. From then up until the summer before college, I smoked for pleasure. However, there was a sudden change in my opinion of the plant when I realized how it had changed me. It made me a better person and way more affectionate to people (even when I wasn't high). That's when I came to the conclusion that marijuana was a spiritual tool and caused me to become aware of things. By things I simply mean everything. The way people acted towards one another (selfishly), the way doctors just prescribe stuff without running tests, the way the mass media lies, lies, and lies some more, the way cops abuse every amount of power they have through intimidation and fear. The way mainstream music (Rap, Hip-hop, pop, etc.) brainwashes people to only value sex and money. I can go on and on and I feel very sorry for the majority of the teenage audience and for the little kids that will ultimately end up the same way without even noticing anything is wrong. When I started college my "awakening" I guess you could say was really kicked into gear. I got into politics and economics with my own pure will. I started learning how ever much I could about everything. Conspiracy theories, Meditation, Spirituality, UFO's, the powers that be, secret societies, the too big to fail banks, government corruption, population control, 2012, etc. etc. etc. etc. I would spend days researching and watching documentaries and absorbing as much information as my mind would allow me to. Every single day I was asking myself questions about who I really was, what is truly the right thing to do, is this my ego talking or is it my higher self? (I wasn't just asking to ask, I was very sincere in asking myself these questions). I started to think there was something wrong with me since I was thinking of things that NOBODY else around me would even be able to contemplate or understand. I was experimenting with other drugs such as acid, ecstasy, shrooms to try and expand my consciousness and it worked in my opinion. I am currently in my second semester of my freshman year in college and I couldn't be more happy with how much I now know and see. I've been trying to meditate for about a month and half now and I think I'm starting to see some results. I wrote this only because I need some feedback. Am I on the right path? Is there anything I'm missing? Am I becoming spiritually awakened? What is going on with me?

Tarka the Duck
21st January 2012, 17:58
Hello Jason

It's that deja vu all over again!! ;)

I read your previous thread started on Jan 19th, in which you asked a similar question.
http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?38957-Troubles-with-meditating...-I-think.
Did you read the 7 replies you received on that thread? I ask this because you didn't acknowledge any of them... I also sent you a PM - not sure whether you received it as you didn't reply to that either...

I hope you find the answers you are looking for.

Best wishes
Kathie

solosthere
21st January 2012, 18:06
I would say first that you need to be extremly careful with using any kind of drug to awaken yourself spiritually, there are far better and safer ways to do it. I would also say that asking the questions you are asking is a very good thing but dont use drugs to try to find the answer. They can be called a tool but all tools can be used in the wrong way. A hammer is not meant to hit your thumb or some1s head. So the tool can backfire, to say the least. You can get these same results without the use of drugs. Im not going to tell you not to do them, that is your choice, im just saying BE CAREFUL!!!! Waking up can be scary for alot of people and there are things that you will realize as you are ready. Dont rush it let it happen as it happens. The first step to waking up is asking after that you will find what is working for you naturally and that is what i would say you should do. Allow it to happen on its own it may come fast or slow but it will happpen at a rate that is right for you. No one can tell you what is right for you only you can know. It will just feel right. I cant really explain it anymore than that.

christian
21st January 2012, 18:30
Jason, I find your story very heartening and I am glad and honored to be here on earth at this crucial time together with you. It seems like you have a good heart, an open mind, a genuine fascination for the magic of life and a non-dogmatical attitude. Apparently you started becoming really conscious not too long ago, so be patient, most magnificient things are about to fall into place for you.

jason4444
21st January 2012, 18:34
Sorry I'm new to this. I was assuming that there would be a notification when someone replies to a thread. I shall read those replies now. :o

jason4444
21st January 2012, 18:38
Thank you very much chiquetet. These few replies have gave me much confidence and I intend not to rush anything now. I thank you all again for the feedback and much love to you guys.

jagman
21st January 2012, 18:52
It sounds like you have unresolved issues with your father, Jason4444. IMHO Holding on to resentment or grudges or hate only blocks
a persons ability to achieve harmony.& peace. I suggest that you try building bridges with your father rather than putting up walls.
Your pot smoking & other. Imo. Did not make you a better person. It may have allowed you to look at things a little differently.
( Who didn't smoke in college lol):wizard:

jason4444
21st January 2012, 19:14
It sounds like you have unresolved issues with your father, Jason4444. IMHO Holding on to resentment or grudges or hate only blocks
a persons ability to achieve harmony.& peace. I suggest that you try building bridges with your father rather than putting up walls.
Your pot smoking & other. Imo. Did not make you a better person. It may have allowed you to look at things a little differently.
( Who didn't smoke in college lol):wizard:

Right well I didn't mention, which I probably should of, is I do have a relationship with my father now. There was a time period of about 6 or 7 months when I refused to see him. Our relationship now is kind of hard to explain. I still love the guy, I mean, he is my dad, and I don't hold grudges against him anymore. I accept him for who he is and he knows this. I guess we both have a mutual understanding that if he does anything as bad as he used to do during the beginning years of the divorce then I will stop seeing him again. It's a love/hate relationship is what I'm trying to say.

kcbc2010
21st January 2012, 19:15
The thing you have to keep in mind is that most people aren't interested in these things. They really could care less about the deeper issues of life and a lot of people feel uncomfortable thinking or talking about these things. They need the security blanket.

That said, everyone manages to meet people with their interests in college. Sometimes, it just takes a lot more work if you aren't into beer and sports. Everyone's path is unique. You'll know through your intuition if your path is one you should follow. Sometimes, you absorb information and it seems like you can't get enough to satisfy your curiosity - other times, you just have to step away because it gets to be too much. Awaking is a process, not an event.

Lettherebelight
21st January 2012, 20:01
Hi Jason...:)...

Anyone who is asking sincere questions, like you are, is on the right path.

I don't know you personally, only what you haves shared in your OP. From this, it sounds to me like you are a young man who has a keen and enquiring mind, and a strong positive attitude to go along with it. That sounds like a real recipe for success!

I have a firm belief that we are all guided from within in our quest for the Truth. Don't forget that fasting (within reason) and prayer (meditation, whatever!) is another path toward realisation.

It's not always easy to keep one's feet on the ground during an awakening of consciousness. The fact that you are able to maintain your studies is a good sign that you are getting the right balance. It's always good to try to hook up with like minded people who are going through the same thing...the good thing is that there are more and more folks every day waking up.

I am a big advocate of cleaning. Not only is it good for body, but mind and spirit too.

I really wish you the best of luck, Jason, with a big, big smile :)

Anchor
22nd January 2012, 04:09
>Am I on the right path?

I agree with Lettherebelight, I think anyone asking this question because they really want to know that, is seeking the truth, and that means you are on the right path.

Incidentally, drugs may help initially but once they did their job, and it sounds from what you write, they did, probably best to stop now and just get better at meditation (http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?3779-Meditating-simply).

perolator
22nd January 2012, 04:52
Meditation is the best tool to reveal your inner self. Reiki can help to gain a better view of the world. Please do not use drugs. I have seen friends and relatives became slaves, mindless people because of drug abuse. Take care of yourself.

markpierre
22nd January 2012, 06:24
God I love guys like you. Just do what you do mate. Every single little thing that passes through your life, that's your path.

Do it with eyes open, do it with intention, do it with thoughtfulness and respect, do it with introspect, do it with integrity,
be just as honest as you can be without compromise. That will f-up your family and friends. Put your heart in it. Carry your heart in front of you.
Take responsibility for everything you think and say and do.

Include everybody in with it, no matter how asleep they appear,
or how much they love their chaos and dramas. They're in it with you, playing their parts.

Here's a big one; learn what's 'not your business', and refuse to take it on.

Do your chores and pay your bills and be polite, but you don't have to participate in BS anymore
because you don't have to. You never did.

All those things develop as you learn to value them. But you won't value them because they're platitudes from a belief system,
you'll value them because you experience the effects of them directly. A 'self' that you actually enjoy, and love and honor.
And that guy has balls and power because power is in truth.
Liars depend on force. Power and force are very different things.

For god sake, have fun.