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Tangri
15th February 2012, 21:49
Today, My Grade 8 Daughter came from school and told me about her teacher showing them this video to teach them respect for their parents.

I am worried for those kids and their future generation with this kind of parenting.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl1ujzRidmU

humanalien
15th February 2012, 23:14
And what is wrong with children respecting their parents? From
personal experience and from what i see other parents going through,
children are just plain rotten to their parents.

I think i misunderstood what you were trying to ask here.
My answer would be that there will always be some sort
of frustration when raising children. Kids will be kids and
i think every parent expects their kids to do the wrong thing
every now and then. This is nothing more than a learning
experience for normal kids when they do do something
wrong.

The thing is, a lot of kids take it to the extreme and really
get the parents nerves on edge almost on a daily basis and
this is when things really get heated up in the family.

With kids selling drugs, committing crimes and getting in
trouble in school and the law, this is when parents really
get frustrated. This isn't something a normal kid would do
and the only reason that i can come up with as to why they
do it is because of pressure from their so called friends or
maybe even gang members.

I think if the law would do their jobs and completely eradicate
all gangs, kids would return to doing the right thing for a change.

TWINCANS
15th February 2012, 23:39
Sure the issue is complicated but here's not a bad response. Raises the whole energy of the dialogue imo. Interesting poetic presentation too:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uq32lagfYs&feature=related

Kimberley
15th February 2012, 23:45
I have a lot to say about this but not much time at the moment.... I asked both of my daughters 19 & 15 and the father of my daughters, who is one of the greatest fathers I know, to watch this video and read the follow up article about it.

************************

http://www.wsoctv.com/news/news/local/youtube-dad-who-shot-daughters-laptop-gets-visit-a/nHbcR/

This cracked me up ...

"The former Marine Jordan's post also said if he had to do it again he would, "Not be smoking a cigarette ... not have used the word "ass" in my comment directed at my daughter ... would have worn my Silverbelly Stetson, not my Tilley hat if I'd known that image was going to follow me the rest of my life and I'd probably have cleaned my boots."
**********************************

In short Levent yes you reap what you sow... so this father and his daughters relationship is all about control and shame and compliance to "it was so hard for me. so it should be hard for you also".

I am 53 years young and the father of our daughters is 61 years young... we (me and the father of my daughters,) were both physically beaten into submission (however not as much as our parents would have liked). We transcended and raised our daughters and supported our daughters to get in touch with who they are and not what we wanted them to be. Our daughters are kind compassionate, intelligent caring young women and our 19 year young daughter still lives at home and is going to commuter college and is so grateful to be living is a nurturing and supportive environment. And I her mother am so thrilled that she did not chose to flee far far away from home (as I and her father chose to do).

I have been telling my daughters since the day they were born "thank you for choosing to come live with us". My 15 year young daughter says to me and her father each morning before going to school and each night before going to bed..."Thank you mommy & daddy for being my mommy & daddy, I love you so much". Again our family is an example of what you reap is what you sow....

Don't believe me... try it for yourself!!!

SO yes again Levent... yikes on the teachers message... I showed my daughters this video today to thank them and remind them how loved and respected and how peaceful our family is!!!!

I will try to get back with more about this if I can...

Much love to us all!!

Kimberley
15th February 2012, 23:51
The thing is, a lot of kids take it to the extreme and really
get the parents nerves on edge almost on a daily basis and
this is when things really get heated up in the family.
.

Just a reminder.... that the only power we humans have is over ourselves... If my children "get on my nerves' it is only because I allow that to happen.

It is not about "them" it is all about me. I have no power to make you happy or sad...only you have the power to chose to be happy or sad... NO ONE can make you happy or sad except YOU!!!

Much love!

Kimberley
16th February 2012, 00:15
Sure the issue is complicated but here's not a bad response. Raises the whole energy of the dialogue imo. Interesting poetic presentation too:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uq32lagfYs&feature=related

I have NOT had this experience.... I did not demand that my daughters respect me... I respected them and therefore they respect me.. you can not demand respect you need to be respectful in order to be respected in return!!!..

So I have and my daughters father has given our daughters respect for who they are, not who we want them to be... and in return we are all respected!!!!

Much love!!!

mosquito
16th February 2012, 01:52
.... I did not demand that my daughters respect me... I respected them and therefore they respect me.. you can not demand respect you need to be respectful in order to be respected in return!!!..

So I have and my daughters father has given our daughters respect for who they are, not who we want them to be... and in return we are all respected!!!!

Much love!!!


Absolutely !!!!!

eileenrose
16th February 2012, 03:52
Today, My Grade 8 Daughter came from school and told me about her teacher showing them this video to teach them respect for their parents.

I am worried for those kids and their future generation with this kind of parenting.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl1ujzRidmU

I substituted teached a few times and was shocked at what the children are taught.

I realize that I am opinonated.
But so are they (the children)....but they get ignored (or worse) for having any opinions (at all).
I just felt too racked with guilt (for being the 'teacher' of such trivial stuff that I was forced to say) and stopped (myself). Never gone back to that career.

If you want to teach people, realize that you do harm if the knowledge you give them is inaccurate (to the best of your judgement) ...though staying ignorant may be a worse disease. You decide.

Tangri
16th February 2012, 07:15
Today, My Grade 8 Daughter came from school and told me about her teacher showing them this video to teach them respect for their parents.

I am worried for those kids and their future generation with this kind of parenting.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl1ujzRidmU

I substituted teached a few times and was shocked at what the children are taught.

I realize that I am opinonated.
But so are they (the children)....but they get ignored (or worse) for having any opinions (at all).
I just felt too racked with guilt (for being the 'teacher' of such trivial stuff that I was forced to say) and stopped (myself). Never gone back to that career.

If you want to teach people, realize that you do harm if the knowledge you give them is inaccurate (to the best of your judgement) ...though staying ignorant may be a worse disease. You decide.

Well , surprising side of the story is . Parents , teacher(she was not a substituted one) and most of the kids are favor of the father's(overkill) act.

If it was happened in Canada I would have the Children Aid Society put in charge.

Am I at different reality world, that video and corresponds were surprisingly merciless.

My father never yelled at me. He always wait my exploratory reactions and tried to show second ,third view of the situation. His explanation about that " Yelling did not worked at his brother" ( although the brother become a dentist and a laud father),

My daughter is a gift , a god's host to my house hold . She came to experience this world. I can tell her the options, paths and protect her from immediate &/developmental dangers. But rest is on her, I am not her military trainee or prison guard. I am not an owner.(even for my budgie) I am just a depositor. a trustee. Reap what you sow.

Love and PEACE with you

She has to do (act ) by her self, to find consequences , rebounds and rewards from her acts.

eileenrose
16th February 2012, 07:29
Hi Livent, I spent more than a few minutes and politely watched the first part of the video (so we are on the same page). I help my sister raise her children and now their children. I don't think of it in terms of parenting. There is no such thing. We are each responsible for ourselves and if we are with someone who isn't responsible, then, for whatever reasons, we each get to choose how to respond. If the people I am with are too young to understand one explanation, then I find another.
Guess what, we don't fight one another and we all have different ideologies.

The family in the video are in a type of game being played out for all the drama it is worth. The word family got lost and got replaced with just beings who live with one another. Shocked? I doubt it. We all know we arn't good at playing 'family' in western society. We are taught to be competitive and be driven. So much so we put aside our family obligations (every one does) and we replace them with ambition. Which says, yee with all the power wins whatever war (we have going on in our mind).

In my family, we should be fighting. I even live with my family now (and look at my age).
But none of us do. Some of us love fighting, and yet we don't fight at all anymore.
I feel we did, before I decide to change everything (for anyone in my vicinity).

There really can't be violence, if you are not violent yourself.

anyway, probably just talking to myself again.

Kimberley
20th February 2012, 18:53
I like this thread so I am bumping it!!!
Much love!!

shadowstalker
20th February 2012, 19:19
I can say in confidence and with great pride that I never really had issues with my children and still don't.
But i can also say that i helped with others in babysitting and those kids where nasty ppl and I gave it right back to them, instant Karma as it where and the parent never minded me doing it.

Lifebringer
20th February 2012, 19:35
Our children have been taught, that parents don't understand, but I specifically corrected that in my family. They don't give you lessons for each little individual soul's development and I imagine that's the same way that the God/Source obtains it's knowledge, through experience.
I have raised 9 from ages 34 to 17 step child and my own. They came out pretty good considering the odds. I just always told them the truth, and when adults try to continue to lie, they see right through them because they know, I as their mother would not lie to them. The world can, but my responsibility is to present the truth when they asked of it, according to the age they asked it. I expanded the knowledge as they matured until they are pretty well balanced and understand just what is going on. They are spiritually aware and awake and my sons have shown this maturity at an early age. i wanted to raise good, productive, educated or skilled children/adults and thank God in his mercy, I did it.

Watch out for private schools that have a title of religion on it. Sometimes the school is good, but the teachers are snake charmed in religion.
Public schools give the child a chance to see, live among all races for understanding and practice for evolving into the next dimension more easily. Train the child up the way, he/she should go. A strong dose of love, understanding, listening, feeling and remembering the childhood, is good for communication between the child. They respect the dicipline of warning, time out, week of chores, or finally the spanking because sometimes when you tell a child NOT TO PLAY with fire, they don't listen. I had to strike a match, let the end burn and show them by telling them this is what flesh feels like when it is burning(they used to burn plastic straws) one tap on the tip of the finger, sent the pain endorphines racing, and they knew and never played with fire again, unless it was to light their cigarette. When I was around 5 yrs old, our grandparents home of 3 stories caught fire. We, my parents and I lived on the 3rd floor, and I almost lost my big brother who thought it was a bathroom waking, and went to the second floor bathroom. Smoke everywhere.
Anyway, I thought it best to show, and make sure that they knew if they disobeyed this rule, while I was at work for them, that would be the type of pain, all over their body, if they didn't choke to death first.

just my two cents, but some may not agree, but like I said, i have 9 live children three in college, and five grandchildren, no fires yet.

unicorny
20th February 2012, 20:47
I saw this video an at first I was mildy amused thinking back to my own somewhat thoughtless teenage years, but then I began to think "no wonder she is this way, look at how you are"

It reminds me of this poem by Philip Larkin

They **** you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were ****ed up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

I dont agree with the last verse though it's always possible to break the chain and make a better future for your kids.

Lettherebelight
20th February 2012, 22:39
That guy was a real firecracker! I think Hannah got the message now...it's interesting to see the positive feedback he is getting from teenagers as well as parent.

But ultimately, whatever his motivations, he's free to act in whatever way he feels is best. Who are we to judge? At least no one can accuse him of indifference...

Sidney
20th February 2012, 22:52
Today, My Grade 8 Daughter came from school and told me about her teacher showing them this video to teach them respect for their parents.

I am worried for those kids and their future generation with this kind of parenting.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl1ujzRidmU


I'm sorry, but I agree with the guy in the video. Kids today have it EASY and parents get the repeated proverbial slap in the face for all the modern toys we provide our kids with. The disrespect coming from todays teens is out of control. At some point a parent reached the threashold, and has to practice tough love. Sometimes its the only thing that gets their attention.
Good for him I say.

fox.mulder
20th February 2012, 23:09
OK how about this for an alternative line.

Maybe consider NOT having children. How many of you have had a child by the age 20 and this child now lives between 2 parents who do not live together. How many of you are divorced? How many of you are remarried and have multiple children with different mothers and fathers.

If you cannot involve yourself in a stable relationship then how do you think you are qualified to raise children yourself.

Are you thinking that bringing children into this world is doing them a favour? Well know this....i would not want parents who are separated and going through multiple partners. I would not want parents who are or have been into drugs/alcohol and just cannot control themselves. Just know that if this is you then you are not wanted as a parent.

The problem is that when you irresponsibly breed, you breed these traits into the children and they end up doing the same thing and continue the cycle. This is why the children behave the way they do. Its not their fault its the parents who cannot control themselves.

If the so called "culling" ever comes from the so called "PTB" then it will only be doing the world a favour.

So if this is you then do yourself and the world a favour and do not breed. It is NOT your right.

kcbc2010
21st February 2012, 02:17
Personally, I loved the video. However, I think that the family had problems long before the video was made and didn't deal with them when they were minor issues.

A lot of parents want to be their kid's friend, not their parent. My son's 3 and he's so sensitive and he'll cry over the slightest correction. It's so frustrating at times, but that's how he's built. He's also very strong-willed, so it's hard to find a good balance when disciplining him.

TigaHawk
21st February 2012, 04:07
to all the people defending the child in this post...

take it from me, im 25, i was an absolute prick to my parents about the same time of my life as the child who's laptop was shot up.

You realy have to see to believe what computers can do to kids.


I would come home, jump on the PC, and stay there as long as i could. Anything i was asked to do (housework, helping out) i would do begrudgingly, and deliberately half-arsed job as well, hoping they'd notice i did it so badly and never ask me to do it again because of it.

When they tried to handle the computer situation, it got worse.
They tried restricting time on the pc, i threw tantrums.
They took the modem, and hid it, i went thru all of their belongings untill i found it.
They took the modem with them in the car each day after realising i found where they hide it - i stole money from them and brought another.
They took the entire PC in the car with them each day - I'd steal money from them and go to an internet cafe instead.



At that time in a teenagers life, all they can think about is themselves, the world revolves around them, simple things such as another schoolmate's opinion, to them is wether or not the sun will rise the next day.


You have no idea in hell how savage, cruel and uncaring a teenager can be to their parents.


I commend this parent for what he did, while feeling like absolute crap for all the things that i have done wrong by my parents

Awakened
21st February 2012, 04:44
Like so many other posters here, I too believe that if you want respect from your children, it has to begin with the parent.

If you raise your children with compassion and respect, you will receive compassion and respect from your child.

I am the mother of four kids, two daughters aged 17 and 15, and two sons aged 9 and 4, and have always raised my children with the belief that respect is not an automatic given. To receive respect you must give respect. I'm happy to say that my kids are great kids. My teenagers are respectful and kind. They also do not drink or do drugs of any kind, and I have a very good relationship with my children

unicorny
21st February 2012, 09:16
to all the people defending the child in this post...

take it from me, im 25, i was an absolute prick to my parents about the same time of my life as the child who's laptop was shot up.

You realy have to see to believe what computers can do to kids.


I would come home, jump on the PC, and stay there as long as i could. Anything i was asked to do (housework, helping out) i would do begrudgingly, and deliberately half-arsed job as well, hoping they'd notice i did it so badly and never ask me to do it again because of it.

When they tried to handle the computer situation, it got worse.
They tried restricting time on the pc, i threw tantrums.
They took the modem, and hid it, i went thru all of their belongings untill i found it.
They took the modem with them in the car each day after realising i found where they hide it - i stole money from them and brought another.
They took the entire PC in the car with them each day - I'd steal money from them and go to an internet cafe instead.



At that time in a teenagers life, all they can think about is themselves, the world revolves around them, simple things such as another schoolmate's opinion, to them is wether or not the sun will rise the next day.


You have no idea in hell how savage, cruel and uncaring a teenager can be to their parents.


I commend this parent for what he did, while feeling like absolute crap for all the things that i have done wrong by my parents

I really am in 2 minds about this one I had nice open minded parents who respected me, gave me responsibilities and freedom. they would have no hesitation in saying i was a good kid - but i was still a **** to them a lot of the time and sometimes I think they must have been saints to show me as much love and empathy as they did.
I suppose it's not what the dad said really he makes valid points and I dont think he was coming from a bad place, he's not asking much in the grand scheme of things, but I do need to ask the question who's the grown-up? Who should be setting a good example? you dont have a tantrum and post it on the internet (like his daughter did) but neither do you have a tantrum, blow things up, and then post it on the internet
I think that the teacher who showed this to a class should be asking herself what kind of lesson the kids will really learn cos it seems to me all it says is have a big rant and shoot things up then folk might listen to you.

im awake
21st February 2012, 12:13
if you ask me he shouldnt of gone on HER laptop then logged into HER facebook profile after she blocked her parents so they couldnt see. thats like reading your kids diary all kids get annoyed at there parents its not like she acted on it she was just expressing her emotions

if he didnt like what he read he shouldnt of been there in the first place

Peace of Mind
21st February 2012, 16:37
Children are products of their parents and the environment. You can raise any child (regardless of mental or physical disorders) to be respectful thriving adults.

It’s all in their upcoming. What they learn while growing up is the parent’s responsibility. Kids are very influential and are prone to mistakes due to our corrupt ways of living. They mostly learn through observation and not so much thru actual experiences. The experiences come with age, after learning from watching…or what has been thought to them.

As independent adults…most people past on these flawed lessons and wonder why their kids are having problems with society…the next step is the Doc’s having your kids medicated to make them more obedient. There’s nothing wrong with the kids, they are normal beings, they’re just adjusting to something they don’t really want to be a part of, but we force them anyway…

Most parents don’t recognize their faults because they are trained as well. They see no harm in pushing them to be something they're not. They break their kids down by having them think they have to be better instead of fitting in. They steal away the childs hopes and dreams by having them simulated into a broken system. They weaken their spirits by telling them disempowering nonsense all the time...like "that's the way it is, deal with it". How can the future be bright and the kids grow up respecting each other and self when they are thought by their parents to be inferior.

The importance of parenting can’t be overstated.

Peace

Arrowwind
21st February 2012, 16:50
This is mainly the guidlines we have followed in raising our children

On Children
Kahlil Gibran
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.


http://www.katsandogz.com/images/gibran/marianna375.jpg
Marianna, Kahlil's Sister. Painting by Kahlil Gibran

Sidney
22nd February 2012, 05:10
It is a parents job to teach kids how to get through to adulthood well rounded. Our job. No two kids are alike, no matter how good a parent is, the kid can be a disrespectful brat. Personally, I am raising my (dead) sisters 2 kids. She did not discipline them early on, and I am left with the "fallout" of that. I do the best I can, considering I have a chronic medical condition, but they are disrespectful as hell. I wouldnt think twice before shooting up their laptop to teach them a lesson. Whatever it takes, we have a responsibility to get the job done.

unicorny
22nd February 2012, 08:18
My friend has this on her fridge but it is in dutch I keep meaning to find it in English by keep forgetting Thanks for posting it :)


This is mainly the guidlines we have followed in raising our children

On Children
Kahlil Gibran
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.


http://www.katsandogz.com/images/gibran/marianna375.jpg
Marianna, Kahlil's Sister. Painting by Kahlil Gibran

minkton
22nd February 2012, 14:40
Parents have had enough of being exploited and used as doormats and this has provided a great focal point for that frustration to be expressed and for kids to start noticing that they are driving good people to distraction with their narcissistic culture.