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View Full Version : Enlightened Love Relationships....How to keep them Healthy...Pls Post Positive Tips



Samarkis
25th March 2010, 16:14
Blessings to All!!

I am starting this thread and my hopes that it will be spiritual and mature beings that post here......this is matters of the heart and to share higher advice to keep relationships (New or Old ) Healthy and on a balanced path........

I truly feel this should be explored as we all move into higher Human endeavors and leave old relationship patterns by the wayside................

I start lightly and share a soulful song.........I have much to share on enlightened relationships and hope the true spirit of this discussion will be respected as True love between two people is truly the Divine Creator Energies...........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxkMlS2nuU8

THE eXchanger
25th March 2010, 16:25
the way to create healthy relationships,
is to bring
whole/and, complete
to meet with
complete/and, whole

another person - is, NOT the reason for being ~ esp; in the creation of a 'real' ationship

Celine
25th March 2010, 16:29
a great subject Samarkis..

I find myself blessed to be in a very well balanced relationship..

Our views are not mainstream either...

mike1414
25th March 2010, 16:34
hey....imo relationships - of all kinds - are like sand held in your hand. held loosely with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. the minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. you may hold on to some of it, but most will be spilled. a relationship is like that. held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. but hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship may slip away.
to laugh and smile as often as possible is important too imho


Thomas Merton says a good quote - The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them

peace always
mike

stardustaquarion
25th March 2010, 16:39
Very nice thread!

To have healthy and durable relationships one needs to have a healthy and honest relationship with oneself :)

Samarkis
25th March 2010, 16:39
a great subject Samarkis..

I find myself blessed to be in a very well balanced relationship..

Our views are not mainstream either...

I know that you do.........Pls share Celine practical things that have helped you!!

A healthy relationship is mutually nurturing, whatever that may mean to them.........it should not always mean one sided giving or taking.........I will share more on these ideas, but everyone with a positive message for healthy relationships..........your contribution is welcome!!!!!!!!!!

In Light!

Jenny
25th March 2010, 16:41
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vshBnR4Z9x8

heyokah
25th March 2010, 16:51
just live, love and laugh
and be in joy together
in true forgiveness

Solphilos
25th March 2010, 16:58
Relationships are one of the biggest misunderstood subject on the planet, too many people have too many predetermined ideas of what a relationship should be, and the reasons why they should have one.

A positive relationship is first and foremost a friendship, two people with like interests and an aligned path. If two people resonate with each other, then they can choose to spend a lot of time together, live together, and share the same path because it is mutually beneficial to each others growth. Sometimes they will choose to connect on a deeper level, and a sexual relationship will develop. These people do not possess each other, but retain their individuality, and understand that while they share a part of the others life, they do not own it, nor do they have any say in regards the will, desires, or decisions of the other person. They are two unique individuals aboard the same boat, headed down the same river.

In a good relationship there are several factors that are imperative, and as soon as they are ignored, then things get ugly.
Communication, Honesty, and Understanding. There are others, but they will inevitably stem from these three keys.

frank samuel
25th March 2010, 17:19
Be honest. patient, loving , respectful and most of all loyal through your trust and faith in each other. Is easy to look for the greener grass outside of your home, is hard to stay focus on your love ones giving them your undivided attention realizing that they are in fact the most important thing in your life.It matters not whether your spouse understands you as long as they support you and love you. If you have this then consider yourself the most blessed person on the face of this earth. This is the way I feel waking up next to my wife everyday.

Blessings to all specially to your spouses in a relationship that is or the relationship that will be.:):thumb::wub::wub:

Samarkis
25th March 2010, 17:59
I am thanking each of you that have posted today..........Solphilos, you are very close to how I personally view an enlightened relationship........

A healthy relationship is very complex and very unique per the couple...as the needs are unique and complex........

I would just like to state an observation I made when I was listening to the song I 1st posted.........

All 3d Human love is Joy & pain together.........even the CLOSEST ties of parent to child or child to parent are filled with joy & pain.........SO, even More so is there to be expected to have joy and pain between two people in a relationship..........It is NEVER just joy,bliss,happiness........and this is directly due to EVERYDAY growth.........between the two.........
In Much Light & continued Growth.................
http://i192.photobucket.com/albums/z299/Samarkis/2462115.jpg (http://s192.photobucket.com/albums/z299/Samarkis/?action=view&current=2462115.jpg)

heyokah
25th March 2010, 18:08
I posted this on another thread, but somehow I think it can do as well here in a sense.

It's about companionship, trust, conquerring obtacles toghether and lots of joy......


LnLVRQCjh8c

Samarkis
26th March 2010, 02:57
From my heart Heyokah......I want to thank you for that beautiful ballet clip........so many lessons in that and the beauty........
Yes, even in hardships and loss, "the dance" can be beautiful, each gaining strength and love from the other.........even to such an extent, that the loss does not show............just the beauty...............

There is much to delve into here.......in Human love........
and I am striving for the enlightened view that Man persona & Woman persona are equal but different........each make up the two sides of the coin.........each has their talents and their strengths........

In a couple of any type, there is give and take....that does not mean 50/50 every day........also,depending on how long the relationship is and what stage..........there are times when one or the other has strong needs from the other in emotional or financial states......

For instance , Mike1414, I believe that new relationships OR very artistic relationships need what you are saying..................to have an open hand with each other so that the sand just rests there..........However a family with children ......that simply won't apply as the level of commitment is so high...........many times it is in sacrifice,sacrifice,sacrifice mode..............all grip very tightly when there is a need............and that may be for 18 years at a time.....: )

I feel it is important to point out self responsability and compassion & honesty based on trust...............And that means letting go of ideas that only women have to do house work or that only men have to bring home an income.......It also means weighing heavily on traits that are spiritual, not just what advances in normal society...........ie-gossip,slander,competition,greed.........

In light!
http://i192.photobucket.com/albums/z299/Samarkis/foreverC.jpg

Ross
26th March 2010, 03:25
1, Only be a gift, you need not be anything else
2, Give your loved one the 'freedom to be' always
3, You have an individual responsibilty to be the best you can be, you can only be the best you can be on any given day.

Peace.

Celine
26th March 2010, 03:47
Please forgive my late response...I have not been well.

Being with Richard, keeps me in the moment...always. In that moment all we are is love. No matter what comes our way. we are love.

Having fallen in love as teenagers (well i was, he was 22 lol) , we have frozen that moment in our lives, it keeps youth in our hearts. Just now..minutes ago, he looked at me and told me i was beautiful, HE almost blushed when saying it to me..

Our love has propergated, not only to our children and grandson, but all around us. It brings a special ingredient to our shop ( Highly suggest reading this thread., Richard shares his heart with avalon.. http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?238-The-Butterfly-Lady-A-True-Story-of-Love)








I know that you do.........Pls share Celine practical things that have helped you!!

A healthy relationship is mutually nurturing, whatever that may mean to them.........it should not always mean one sided giving or taking.........I will share more on these ideas, but everyone with a positive message for healthy relationships..........your contribution is welcome!!!!!!!!!!

In Light!

Samarkis
26th March 2010, 04:18
Celine.........
Thank you..........love is in so many forms............
What I feel is that when two people care deeply and love deeply for each other...........they cause each other and create for each other joy, & happiness on any level they can...............

Samarkis
27th March 2010, 00:38
Much Light to all..............

I am going to take a deeper look into some of the dynamics that make a healthy relationship........These are not my personal wisdom, however, I agree with their views........

In a couple relationship, it is VITAL to show appreciation or acknowledgement to the other AT LEAST every day or everytime they communicate(especially with many stationed long distance or pressing schedules)...........

What does that mean???

For many, that means doing little things to show care, love, concern.....perhaps coffee set at their loved one's place.....or a piece of chocolate.or a flower every month on the anniversary of their special day or just looking into the other's eyes and saying thank you for being in my life.....

It may sound small & petty to some (ie-if they love me, they know I love them, etc....) HOWEVER....love is a VERB....that means action.......so, watch what can start expanding exponentially just from these humble little actions............You will be pleasantly surprised!!!!!!!!!!

In Love & Light!!!

http://i192.photobucket.com/albums/z299/Samarkis/heartcropcircle.jpg

Samarkis
27th March 2010, 17:12
Just sharing a great clip with some insights on conflict resolution in couples.........This person brings up the importance of realizing that a close relationship will bring up conflict so therefore be prepared & build up your conflict resolution skills ..........Now new relationships ,depending how open each person is with the other will have issues as they get to know each other and decide if it's even worth pursuing into a deeper investment of time & energy........However, once a decision is made to be "An Item".........it is worth exploring this important set of skills along with honest soul searching honesty.............
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EOOzef4AZk
In Light!

Samarkis
27th March 2010, 18:02
Here is a great site that has some GREAT practical advice for couples..........
www.twoofus.org

Here is an excerpt answering someone's questions on intimacy when there are children in the family.......I feel it is particularly insiteful:

Some ideas that could help strengthen the romance in your relationship are:

Put your couple's needs first. When the couple relationship is alive and strong, everyone in the family does better.
Start romancing each other in front of the children. Romance goes far beyond sexual exchanges. It includes looks, touch, words, gestures, phone calls, e-mails, notes in the lunch box, flowers for no reason, etc. It is a way to tell your spouse what they mean to you and how much you enjoy them. Use every opportunity you have to communicate to your spouse your love and dedication. This is a wonderful modeling for your children. There is nothing more reassuring for a child than to witness the love and care that his/her parents have for each other. Leave the next part of the romancing for later.
Put the children to bed at a reasonable time (according to their age), which will allow for some adult time in the intimacy of your home.
Go on dates with your spouse on a weekly basis, if possible. Use this time as an opportunity to have fun with each other (rather than talking about "problems" or "important issues").
Go on trips with your spouse, even if it's weekend trips. This will remind you of the time you had before the children arrived.
Build support systems for childcare. We recognize that childcare is a major concern for many parents. In fact, many parents do not have adults they can trust to leave their children with even for a couple of hours to go on a date. Getting familiar with other parents who have children that are of a similar age to yours (through day care, school, church, sport activities) will allow you to take turns caring for each other's children. These should be people that you and your children can trust and feel safe with. This can result in not only you having fun when you go out, but your children can enjoy a play date at the same time!

Life is short. Make every moment count! Treat today as if it's your ONLY day and opportunity to be with your partner.........

HORIZONS
27th March 2010, 19:33
Something to consider: No two relationships are the same, and there is not a formula of success that will work for everyone. That being said: Contrary to popular belief (not necessarily here) two half's do not make a whole. The whole idea of "you complete me" is a fabrication of the egoic mind. Each individual must be whole within themselves and then they can be whole together. No other person can make another happy (in the long term), there can be short term happiness received from another individual but that will soon fade when the pressures of life come around. Each individual must be complete in themselves and then they can walk hand-in-hand through any storm that comes along. The peaceful times will be sweet and the difficult times will be a time when the mutual trust to support one another in as many ways as necessary comes to the forefront to blaze a path to the other side of the situation. I can only truly be happy when I am happy within myself - then I can share that happiness with another in the respect of a loving relationship.
Also, absolute trust is one of the most important ingredients needed to blossom in a loving relationship.

Samarkis
27th March 2010, 21:17
Dear Horizons.........

In 3D there is no such thing as a complete person EXCEPT the few that have ascended...........therefore in my opinion it is far better to make a relationship that nurtures each other and grow from that point ......as the growing is Never complete.........: )

(I believe the KEY phrase here is "nurtures".....what ever that may mean for the two involved....no two have same needs.....And that doesn't mean that one has to suffer needlessly to make a relationship work nor does it mean that a good relationship has no clouds in it.....)

HORIZONS
27th March 2010, 21:55
Dear Horizons.........

In 3D there is no such thing as a complete person EXCEPT the few that have ascended...........therefore in my opinion it is far better to make a relationship that nurtures each other and grow from that point ......as the growing is Never complete.........: )

(I believe the KEY phrase here is "nurtures".....what ever that may mean for the two involved....no two have same needs.....And that doesn't mean that one has to suffer needlessly to make a relationship work nor does it mean that a good relationship has no clouds in it.....)

I must respectfully disagree with the statement that "there is no such thing as a complete person EXCEPT the few that have ascended". The lower body and ego may never be complete, but as a spiritual being we are complete, and we are here learning about who it is that we are as spiritual beings having a human experience.
From the standpoint of 3D and beyond there may never be completeness in growth within Infinity, for we would always be growing and ascending into higher realms. I like what you say about nurturing, it is a very valid and important point. What I was trying to add to this thread is that the "I need you to be complete/fulfilled" idea is not a good recipe for a healthy relationship, and I have seen so much of this in my 27 years of marriage. If we think of ourselves as incomplete and "needing" someone to complete us we will be let down. I am complete in my own understanding of who I am as a spiritual being, but I will continue to grow in that spiritual knowledge of who I am in 3D and beyond.
Best Regards,

frank samuel
27th March 2010, 22:03
Samarkis in my relationship with my wife we do not complicate our lives with the lives of others, in order words we keep our family unit as a private affair. We respect each other and share a common admiration, of course as full time parents to 5 children our love affair is our children. In that way we are very mature and live completely in the NOW. If we have to many expectations in a relationship you complicate something that is very simple after all real love is the ability to love without expecting anything in return this works for all relationships. I find that the more I give with this type of attitude the more rewarding the feeling when my wife or my children return the love . Love becomes an art form that becomes a way of life. Simple but beautiful and incredibly rewarding.

Blessings to you and your family...:):thumb::wub:

Samarkis
28th March 2010, 18:27
Dear Horizons........I agree that our " I AM" higher self is perfect....and you basically agree that in 3 D physicallity we are growing, gaining knowledge & experiences....I do most wholeheartedly agree that one does not stop being the special being they are for anybody else coming into their life or not.....Dear Frank Samuel, I agree when there is a relationship it should be in the private realms of family.......that is what mostly strengthens family to keep respect of each other and to keep life simple......I believe in the modest gifts from the heart...........However, not to the point of keeping dib cards.....but nurturing should be mutual.....not just one sided.......Each person has needs......and what is important is that each feel their needs are being met......regardless of the other partner's views......(It is important that partners discuss with each other what their personal needs are and reach a balance for both ....Again a case of communication and honesty and compassion)

http://i192.photobucket.com/albums/z299/Samarkis/angel-09.jpg

HORIZONS
28th March 2010, 18:43
Agreed :)

Samarkis
31st March 2010, 07:20
A great Clip!!

This is one of the best clips I have ever heard on defining one's goals for finding a life partner....Consciously!!!
I hope you listen as it is not only for those that are searching,but more for those that found a special person in their heart & great practical tips how to make a beautiful synchrostic golden relationship..........May it help many!!!

Much Light!!!

http://www.twoofus.org/educational-content/podcast/finding-lasting-love-by-experiencing-your-experience/index.aspx
http://www.twoofus.org/educational-content/podcast/finding-lasting-love-by-experiencing-your-experience/index.aspx

http://i192.photobucket.com/albums/z299/Samarkis/nymphaea_florida_sunset652.jpg

lightwalker
1st April 2010, 00:50
Chapter 8 "Conversations With God" by Neale Walsch. I have read that chapter many times over the years for any and all relationships.

Also, I believe that everyone is a mirror of me and because there is nothing outside of me all, that I see is an aspect of myself. The stuff that I see that I don't like and have a reaction to is just a part of me that needs alignment or integration

But.....the most powerful thing that I know is my relationship with myself and loving myself no matter what is going on in my life.

frank samuel
1st April 2010, 01:27
Samarkis I learn a long time ago that the more you expect from a relationship the less you get . That is why the relationship is created within yourself first, the mirror is always looking back, if you give a 110 % you'll get back your investment but not the way we expect , sometimes is much better. It has come to the point between me and my wife that we are able to read each others thoughts we know each other very well, so our understanding is at another level. Why is that? Well we give each other space to breath and just be ourselves without expecting absolutely nothing but respect and trust, which is freely given. Most relationships today are strain because of economics, cultural stress, fast pace of life, we loose ourselves in the 3D illusion soon enough you grow out of love unfortunately this is the acceptable norm in our society. Love is not just physical attraction it is the sharing of the beauty that comes from each others heart in that sense love is truly blind. I am at peace and I feel free just to be me without any need to explain myself, words are just that ,words, love is the urge to act and show it through your actions. In America man have become couch potatoes :couch2:, NO, I change the pampers and take care of the kids right along with her, I cook , not much at doing laundry, the point is that love is demonstrated through your actions so there's no need to even say it because you are an expression of the love you feel for that person and she can feel it because it is something substantial.

Many many blessings to you and your family...:):thumb::wub:

Samarkis
1st April 2010, 03:01
Dear Frank Samuel!!!

Thank you for your kind words!!
And yes, you say right that you help with the family along side her...that is an enlightened & compassionate partner.....In 3D life, we try to alleviate pain or hardships for the other.....If it is one sided.....it was not a true sharing and giving from that partner that is withholding love or help.....what ever their issues are...... it is wise to disentangle..........hopefully before there is a commitment .........

Blessings for Safely navigating in the Sea of Life !!!

http://i192.photobucket.com/albums/z299/Samarkis/wwwtvnhu_6e194784f4647fa9f5b3ddaa93.gif

Axman
5th April 2010, 02:00
The greatest energy that my wife and I receive is that of giving to others be it clothes from a clothes closet or encouraging words. 30 years and counting

The law of one

Axman

Samarkis
5th April 2010, 03:10
The greatest energy that my wife and I receive is that of giving to others be it clothes from a clothes closet or encouraging words. 30 years and counting

The law of one

Axman


So Awesome!! And as it should be...... : )

irishspirit
5th April 2010, 10:14
I think this is a fantastic thread.

I feel that to be able to have a real relationship with someone else, one must know ones self and and be in love with ones self before all. The reason I say this is for to feel true love, you must feel true love for your soul before you can feel true love for another. If you do not know your soul how can you share that to which you have no relation? I think the video below is fantastic and helpful for alot of people.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkHjTC8lSuA

Samarkis
5th September 2010, 19:27
Pls see this page if you have children (even grown ones ) that are interfering with poor behavior........

Healthy families are crucial to maintaining healthy relationships!

Enjoy!
Namaste!

http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?5287-Raising-Conscious-amp-healthy-families-%28with-children%29&p=48705#post48705

rhythm
6th September 2010, 10:37
Relationships are one of the biggest misunderstood subject on the planet, too many people have too many predetermined ideas of what a relationship should be, and the reasons why they should have one.

A positive relationship is first and foremost a friendship, two people with like interests and an aligned path. If two people resonate with each other, then they can choose to spend a lot of time together, live together, and share the same path because it is mutually beneficial to each others growth. Sometimes they will choose to connect on a deeper level, and a sexual relationship will develop. These people do not possess each other, but retain their individuality, and understand that while they share a part of the others life, they do not own it, nor do they have any say in regards the will, desires, or decisions of the other person. They are two unique individuals aboard the same boat, headed down the same river.

In a good relationship there are several factors that are imperative, and as soon as they are ignored, then things get ugly.
Communication, Honesty, and Understanding. There are others, but they will inevitably stem from these three keys.
what a lovrly reply ... says it very clearly ;)

heyokah
6th September 2010, 11:33
Yes, I really agree with you rhythm. Thank you Solphilos, I couldn't have said it better ! LOL