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Midnight
18th October 2012, 05:44
Some words are accompanied with very negative connotations, such as death, suicide, rape, etc.

The negative connotation is usually deserved, such as in the case of rape.

But death and suicide are sometimes another matter. Death can be seen as leaving our temporary abode in a physical body, a joyful release. A far from negative experience, particularly at the moment of exit from the body.

But what about suicide? The negative connotation attached to the idea of suicide is somewhat deserved if the person choosing to leave is leaving behind a family, particularly children.

If we are trapped in a job where we are being treated badly, the wise advice is to quit. And if we are in an abusive relationship, get out is the only way to go.

But if we are suffering from an incurable, painful disease, suicide is considered a negative response. And can we judge people that are dealing with deep long term depression when they chose to check out?

It's a difficult concept, suicide. Remove the powerful connotations to examine it in a more rational way.

christian
18th October 2012, 06:32
You can end many things, but you cannot 'escape' existence. It always goes on. Suicide is a cop-out that doesn't even work in my opinion. May give you the illusion of salvation, but eventually you'll have to go through the same things again, till you learn to live through it, so through suicide you actually don't move forward in the bigger picture. The universe doesn't reward (wannabe) quitters.

Nevertheless, I read about some cases of suicide in Dolores Cannon's books, where people in their past lives killed themselves when confronted with extreme and inevitable torture or abuse or something like that, where it wasn't a big deal at all afterwards, as the higher self recognized that it was over anyways.

So you gotta be very sure when you take that step, I figure. There's gotta be absolutely no way out and nothing but unavoidable terror, maybe then. But especially a depression is a mind thing, something where there's virtually always a way to get out of that state, if you're willing to fight for it.

To be very rational, I think the hardest fights are the most valuable experiences. So going on with living just for the sake of making those experiences is actually absolutely worth it. Imagine Jesus having killed himself after his trial.

markpierre
18th October 2012, 11:27
Every 'death' is chosen. I understand despair that would make anyone prefer to leave here. I also understand that there is no judgement from the other side,
and so there should be no judgement here.
But we do judge. We do and we don't. We give it caveats. We look at it suspiciously. But we unconsciously or consciously play with the idea and that's why we're revolted.
What's it like to stand on the gallows?
Terrifying. Don't ask that question.

It's true. We die and take our issues with us. What does it matter what method of death? Except the issues remain unresolved. There's a decision already made,
but not by the little you that wants to die. It's made by the You that wants you to find Life. It's an old agreement,
and you can't escape the one you made the agreement with.

Suicide only represents to me my own fear of death, or more accurately represented my own fear of choosing to live. But it's because I found out what life really is that I could choose.
If it were only turmoil as it seems, I couldn't blame anyone for wanting to escape it. This world is insane. Who would be the crazy one for leaving it?

But the relief we seek is not on the other side of dead. We search on the other side until we determine again to find it here.
We resurrect from the dead. Dead isn't there, it's here in us. In the shadows of our illusions.
So to be here in any circumstances is the ultimate opportunity. How much despair can be experienced? We could stay asleep forever if it were made too easy.
Life is only experienced in Reality. 'This world' if you want for as long as you want, with bodies and all the good stuff we're afraid to lose because it is here now.
But it's not what we humans are conditioned to call living.
It's within. That kingdom. We learn through our traumas to see what's really there. Whatever it takes.

So how much pain can we experience I'll ask myself? I wanted to find out. We can handle a lot. If there's ever more I can handle it, if I still want to. That's my choice to be free to choose.
The whole universe unconditionally supports every decision, and that includes the ability to hang in there. If we knew the real purpose of anything that happens to us, we would never opt out.
How many people know the real purpose?

That old saying 'this too shall pass' that I've very nearly worn out, is true. I'll use it on my deathbed no doubt, because it's never failed me.
We don't have one big important experience called 'my life', we have a lot of very important experiences. Continuing on and on.
If you know why you have them, you don't spend much time in them. We stop searching for the perfect human experience in order to find it.

Those experiences that I would have missed would haunt me.

PHARAOH
18th October 2012, 12:14
The thought once crossed my mind. Have souls who chose to end their existence, ultimately conquer the fear of physical death??? :ballchain: :welcome: :neo:



No judgements, only observations. :focus:

gooty64
18th October 2012, 12:31
I stumbled upon this dvd at a thrift store this summer and since the topic falls on my mind now and then, after not buying it for a few days I decided to take a look at it.
It's good. imho

bnpb_Q4osyY

christian
18th October 2012, 12:42
The thought once crossed my mind. Have souls who chose to end their existence, ultimately conquer the fear of physical death???

They make a good point about that in Kubrick's early film Paths of Glory (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0050825/). It's not the dying that people are afraid of but the circumstances and the pain involved. Otherwise people (in that case soldiers before the fight) wouldn't think about how they could get killed.

The physical and mental suffering is what leads people to commit suicide. They consider this worse than 'being dead'. You don't have to loose all fear of death, it's just that the scales have to tip and you have to feel like there is nothing valuable for you to do anymore, at least not enough that would justify enduring your pain and you've got to assume that you can't do anything to alleviate your pain. I wouldn't rule out that there are extreme cases like that, but if you'd even be able to help one more being with one minor thing, then it's worth keeping on, in my opinion. The universe will have your body die all by itself eventually anyways, so everyone gets served, no worries.

It's like we're on a team and I want it to stick together and fight on, but I can also see how the work involved can be overwhelming or at least appear so. There are people really making some heroic efforts, who accomplish a lot and are virtually unseen. It certainly helps the evolution of the human collective, that's what we came here for, isn't it? Getting into quite a mess to fight our way out and beyond despite pain, ridicule, and all the hardships.

RunningDeer
18th October 2012, 12:42
Early on, I couldn’t talk of my son, Michael, committing suicide because everyone was angry at him for causing me pain. But, I believe it was a topic that they didn’t want to broach. The sad part for me was that I was not able to share his life, which was more painful than his suicide. I now had 23 years of memories in a cardboard box in the back of the closet.

Those few hours after I found out what happened, I rationalized that I’d rather Michael choose his death rather than someone hate him enough to take his life, or some random accident. Or for him to be in such pain that he’d accidentally hurt another. He wouldn’t. He has a tender heart.

One with a rational perspective can not know what’s going on with someone in such pain. I experienced suicidal thoughts for four months after Michael passed. I had an elaborate plan with lots of fail-safes. I was aware there were two people talking; one mega-responsible in her classroom, the other in pain that hid under the covers. The plan was refined in between the dreams of nightmares.

One last time, I dressed and was going the drive across state lines to my favorite book store when my ex-hubby stopped by to see how I was doing. Up to that point I’d put on a fake cheery front with everyone. There was no point to pull anyone into the place I had taken up residence. Beside, it was too exhausting to go into it. This time I was honest. I said, “I don’t think I’m going to make it. I had no labels, wife, mother, never will be a grandmother; no feelings of a friend, or a sister."

Whatever words he said, the ones in my head just drown them out. I told him I loved him and kissed him good-bye. He asked where I was going. Bookstore. He called my brother, and three siblings helped me check into a hospital for a three day suicide watch, meds, and extensive therapy.

It’s not worth my energy to debate with those with self-righteous opinions on how things ‘should’ be. Their compassion meter isn’t high enough to be open to another point of view. I simply say my son committed suicide. I understand because I, too, was in that place of despair. You can’t know unless you’ve been imprisoned to that immeasurable degree.

Peace,
WhiteCrowBlackDeer

PS That was in 1994, several lifetimes ago. Mind is not the driver these days.

Wind
18th October 2012, 12:53
I stumbled upon this dvd at a thrift store this summer and since the topic falls on my mind now and then, after not buying it for a few days I decided to take a look at it.
It's good. imho

I watched that movie a while ago. Very powerful material.

I was "that" close to suicide years ago. In a way it's a mircale that I am still alive. We can try run away from our pain, but we cannot hide from our purpose, our destiny. The wheel of karma stops only through forgiveness. I had to forgive myself. It was the hardest lesson that I've learned this far, and I've had quite alot of them in my moderately short life. I wouldn't be the person that I am now without those experiences, so I thank God for them.

I am not sure what saved me, maybe it was love.

conk
18th October 2012, 16:15
WCBD, thank you for sharing that story. Much love and respect to you for having gone through that experience.

I had a close friend who killed himself by plunging a knife into his heart. Have you ever heard of anyone doing that? So incredible to imagine that moment in his life. RIP Randy.

Ahauchata
18th October 2012, 17:26
While I cannot speak for anyone else via this topic and most of us have or at least know of others touched by those that acted upon this action, on my end; I do feel that those that are terminally ill and if they are of sound mind have the right to choose on this, I just know on my end, if I were to act on this at the moment I would be right back here so for me that is the best deterrant. On this end I came into this world awake to a certain degree, and somehow knew this. Yet; it was during my teen years that I sort of went into a slumber because I wanted to fit in. However; it was during my dark night of my soul, after I was married and the marriage went sour, mid 90's among other things that I turned to drugs (99-02) and somehow I live through this and quit on a dime, (02) so came back into reawakening.

genevieve
18th October 2012, 17:49
I believe that suicide is an option, but when it shows up on the list of possibilities,
it makes us short-sighted.

I had two really tough periods in my life when I seriously desired to be out of this life.
Both times I stopped myself because I knew it would torture my mother.

I took care of my mother during her last two years in this lifetime and was so grateful
that I was still here for her.

During those two years I learned what love is and how powerful it is.

Now that she's "gone," I feel free to stay or go, but I'm enjoying the ride
(as Bill Hicks would say) and want to share what my mother taught me.

Peace Love Joy & Harmony,
Genevieve

Mike
18th October 2012, 17:55
Early on, I couldn’t talk of my son, Michael, committing suicide because everyone was angry at him for causing me pain. But, I believe it was a topic that they didn’t want to broach. The sad part for me was that I was not able to share his life, which was more painful than his suicide. I now had 23 years of memories in a cardboard box in the back of the closet.

Those few hours after I found out what happened, I rationalized that I’d rather Michael choose his death rather than someone hate him enough to take his life, or some random accident. Or for him to be in such pain that he’d accidentally hurt another. He wouldn’t. He has a tender heart.

One with a rational perspective can not know what’s going on with someone in such pain. I experienced suicidal thoughts for four months after Michael passed. I had an elaborate plan with lots of fail-safes. I was aware there were two people talking; one mega-responsible in her classroom, the other in pain that hid under the covers. The plan was refined in between the dreams of nightmares.

One last time, I dressed and was going the drive across state lines to my favorite book store when my ex-hubby stopped by to see how I was doing. Up to that point I’d put on a fake cheery front with everyone. There was no point to pull anyone into the place I had taken up residence. Beside, it was too exhausting to go into it. This time I was honest. I said, “I don’t think I’m going to make it. I had no labels, wife, mother, never will be a grandmother; no feelings of a friend, or a sister."

Whatever words he said, the ones in my head just drown them out. I told him I loved him and kissed him good-bye. He asked where I was going. Bookstore. He called my brother, and three siblings helped me check into a hospital for a three day suicide watch, meds, and extensive therapy.

It’s not worth my energy to debate with those with self-righteous opinions on how things ‘should’ be. Their compassion meter isn’t high enough to be open to another point of view. I simply say my son committed suicide. I understand because I, too, was in that place of despair. You can’t know unless you’ve been imprisoned to that immeasurable degree.

Peace,
WhiteCrowBlackDeer

PS That was in 1994, several lifetimes ago. Mind is not the driver these days.


wow Paula. i'm always profoundly moved when you speak of your son, Michael. i know nothing about him save what you have written, and yet in him i sense a kindred spirit somehow. i'd also like to salute your courage and bravery in sharing here. thank you a million times over!

there was a time when i was not so enthusiastic about living. i entertained suicidal thoughts and came precariously close to actualizing them. but if there was ever anyone fated to f#ck up a suicide, it would surely be me!;) my general incompetence was discouragement enough!

lots of love to you Paula!!!

RunningDeer
18th October 2012, 18:02
WCBD, thank you for sharing that story. Much love and respect to you for having gone through that experience.

I had a close friend who killed himself by plunging a knife into his heart. Have you ever heard of anyone doing that? So incredible to imagine that moment in his life. RIP Randy.

Thanks Conk. I don't know anyone personally who chose suicide by knife. I've read where males are more successful because they use violent methods. Sensitive-type males may choose carbon monoxide poisoning over weapons. Where as, females use pills and there's time to revive them, if it's a case of an outcry for help.

It's hard to imagine Randy's desperation, when one is in 'normal' state of mind. I had a student, Lenny, that had cerebral palsy. Just a sweet, bright, kind kid. Loving and supportive family. In his senior year, he killed himself because he couldn't see where someone could love him in his condition. Lenny is another reason why I'm eager for our world to move on to a place where dis-ease and disease no longer is.

Peace,
WhiteCrowBlackDeer

RunningDeer
18th October 2012, 18:40
Early on, I couldn’t talk of my son, Michael, committing suicide because everyone was angry at him for causing me pain. But, I believe it was a topic that they didn’t want to broach. The sad part for me was that I was not able to share his life, which was more painful than his suicide. I now had 23 years of memories in a cardboard box in the back of the closet.

Those few hours after I found out what happened, I rationalized that I’d rather Michael choose his death rather than someone hate him enough to take his life, or some random accident. Or for him to be in such pain that he’d accidentally hurt another. He wouldn’t. He has a tender heart.

One with a rational perspective can not know what’s going on with someone in such pain. I experienced suicidal thoughts for four months after Michael passed. I had an elaborate plan with lots of fail-safes. I was aware there were two people talking; one mega-responsible in her classroom, the other in pain that hid under the covers. The plan was refined in between the dreams of nightmares.

One last time, I dressed and was going the drive across state lines to my favorite book store when my ex-hubby stopped by to see how I was doing. Up to that point I’d put on a fake cheery front with everyone. There was no point to pull anyone into the place I had taken up residence. Beside, it was too exhausting to go into it. This time I was honest. I said, “I don’t think I’m going to make it. I had no labels, wife, mother, never will be a grandmother; no feelings of a friend, or a sister."

Whatever words he said, the ones in my head just drown them out. I told him I loved him and kissed him good-bye. He asked where I was going. Bookstore. He called my brother, and three siblings helped me check into a hospital for a three day suicide watch, meds, and extensive therapy.

It’s not worth my energy to debate with those with self-righteous opinions on how things ‘should’ be. Their compassion meter isn’t high enough to be open to another point of view. I simply say my son committed suicide. I understand because I, too, was in that place of despair. You can’t know unless you’ve been imprisoned to that immeasurable degree.

Peace,
WhiteCrowBlackDeer

PS That was in 1994, several lifetimes ago. Mind is not the driver these days.


wow Paula. i'm always profoundly moved when you speak of your son, Michael. i know nothing about him save what you have written, and yet in him i sense a kindred spirit somehow. i'd also like to salute your courage and bravery in sharing here. thank you a million times over!

there was a time when i was not so enthusiastic about living. i entertained suicidal thoughts and came precariously close to actualizing them. but if there was ever anyone fated to f#ck up a suicide, it would surely be me!;) my general incompetence was discouragement enough!

lots of love to you Paula!!!

Hi Michael,

Thank you. You and he could easily be brothers. Brilliant and quick wit. Sensitive. He still sends me feathers. Now that the veil is dissolving, Michael is less than a thought away. On one level, I understand why he had to go. And in part, I am who I am because of him.

I can't wait to jump out of bed in the morning and begin all over again. I'm really glad to have had a second chance to discover the greater being evolving (or more accurately, 'who' already). Back in the early 1990's, there wasn't a clear picture of how our world is unfolding. I'm honored to be part of the human race here at this time to experience the greater Us, All.

Love,
Paula

PS I share about my son because it's my hope that others will not give up before they have the chance to discover who they really are.


http://avalonlibrary.net/paula/Zen/feathers.JPG

Midnight
19th October 2012, 05:31
WhiteCrowBlackDeer, thank you for your powerful post about your son. My sister lost her son at a similar age when he drove a friend's motorcycle up a busy city street at high speed, hitting a left turning van. She is still grieving many years later. It's hard to understand why these events happen. I have told her she will see him again, either here in another life, or there where we go when we die. I believe this is true.

I brought up the topic of suicide because the whole idea of death is taboo in western society, and I agree with the tibetan buddhists that occasional meditation on the lead up to death and death itself prepares us to better deal with that reality when it arrives. And as we know every man and woman, every animal and plant, will one day pass out of physical existence.

I also have to say that my current preoccupation with death is partly because I am at an age when unless you cover your head with a paper bag you notice that some of your contemporaries are checking out of here,and with others booking their passage. I don't know if any of you read my thread about an inept doctor telling me I possibly might have bone cancer, but I'd just like to report that I saw that so-called MD 2 days ago, and he read the radiologist's report that it wasn't cancer. It was a calcium deposit, whatever that means. But not cancer. Yippee! It was interesting and somewhat worthwhile looking at the idea of maybe dying, something that approaches us all.

778 neighbour of some guy
19th October 2012, 08:35
Early on, I couldn’t talk of my son, Michael, committing suicide because everyone was angry at him for causing me pain. But, I believe it was a topic that they didn’t want to broach. The sad part for me was that I was not able to share his life, which was more painful than his suicide. I now had 23 years of memories in a cardboard box in the back of the closet.

Those few hours after I found out what happened, I rationalized that I’d rather Michael choose his death rather than someone hate him enough to take his life, or some random accident. Or for him to be in such pain that he’d accidentally hurt another. He wouldn’t. He has a tender heart.

One with a rational perspective can not know what’s going on with someone in such pain. I experienced suicidal thoughts for four months after Michael passed. I had an elaborate plan with lots of fail-safes. I was aware there were two people talking; one mega-responsible in her classroom, the other in pain that hid under the covers. The plan was refined in between the dreams of nightmares.

One last time, I dressed and was going the drive across state lines to my favorite book store when my ex-hubby stopped by to see how I was doing. Up to that point I’d put on a fake cheery front with everyone. There was no point to pull anyone into the place I had taken up residence. Beside, it was too exhausting to go into it. This time I was honest. I said, “I don’t think I’m going to make it. I had no labels, wife, mother, never will be a grandmother; no feelings of a friend, or a sister."

Whatever words he said, the ones in my head just drown them out. I told him I loved him and kissed him good-bye. He asked where I was going. Bookstore. He called my brother, and three siblings helped me check into a hospital for a three day suicide watch, meds, and extensive therapy.

It’s not worth my energy to debate with those with self-righteous opinions on how things ‘should’ be. Their compassion meter isn’t high enough to be open to another point of view. I simply say my son committed suicide. I understand because I, too, was in that place of despair. You can’t know unless you’ve been imprisoned to that immeasurable degree.

Peace,
WhiteCrowBlackDeer

PS That was in 1994, several lifetimes ago. Mind is not the driver these days.

:oWCBD, me loves you and you will never know why, you are the best and bravest for sharing.:o

love and respect

Edgar

VkndVzfOeRc

NaBzwORKFXc

My songs were on repeat.

778 neighbour of some guy
19th October 2012, 09:30
Thanks for this post Midnight.


But if we are suffering from an incurable, painful disease,

Who is to decide what is incurable or painfull and suffering, is also a good question of course.

Only last sunday i got a call from a lady ( client/patient) i call her human, she she has been sexually abused, mentally abused and what have we as a young child, her mind split off and she dissociates and hallucinates, all the events in her life turned her into a paranoid schizofrenic ( whatever the hell that means), she was so afraid she called me, this is what she was seeing that night and for many days the whole day long, shadows looming over her, walking through her ( and me, and i could feel them as well) screaming at her, sitting on the couch next to her, laughing at her body when she showers, groping her, telling her she has done nothing right in her life, she is ugly, will go to hell, she has headlice, tell her to change her name because she is an embarresment to her family ( yesyes her dead mum was there too).

Now, my collegues tell her there is nothing there and she should stop bitching ( this is not formulated that way off course but its what its boils down to and to me that means they are actually scared completely scared ****less and want to get the F out of there ( the room), I however found out all off the above just by simply asking her what they ( the shadows, diseased,whatever told her), all of the above will not stop, it is relentless and terrible, now, this poor lady asks me if i think she is a good person and will go to heaven or hell when she would decide to take her life, tell me, what can i say to this woman who is religious eh? All i can say is, you are just fine as you are, you are a good person, you did nothing wrong, you will go to heaven when you pass on, and all she sees is horror and lives in terror, i have no problem with the concepts of dimensions moving in and out of eachother all the time, but how do you explain that to someone like her, btw, i would get fired the instant i did, all one can do is get her feet back in reality by holding her hand and pulling her back through 3 d for one more day or night, if she would however decide to quit it all, i would not lift a finger, i have no way of stopping her anyway and when you see the fear and terror on her face you would understand, she will also make no eyecontact when this is happening, she sees people standing behind me too, and they yell at me for trying to help this poor woman, they are upto no good, now you tell me. is that not suffering?


suicide is considered a negative response.

Usually only by the people left behind, for as many reasons as a human can have thought during an entire lifetime, but they can also be surpisingly understanding and get the point.

Does this mean the positive response would be "you will suffer until we decide its time for you", very interesting.


And can we judge people that are dealing with deep long term depression when they chose to check out?

Yes we can and no we should not.

778 neighbour of some guy
19th October 2012, 10:18
You can end many things, but you cannot 'escape' existence. It always goes on. Suicide is a cop-out that doesn't even work in my opinion. May give you the illusion of salvation, but eventually you'll have to go through the same things again, till you learn to live through it, so through suicide you actually don't move forward in the bigger picture. The universe doesn't reward (wannabe) quitters.

How is suicide a cop out if i may ask, this is a major generalisation, is it up to you to decide when someone has had enough for this lifetime ( maybe he she has learned the lesson allready for this time and it would be ok for them to step out, job done, lets go home, have a break and come back later in a brand new body for a brand new lesson) That is some tough talking from you Christian, i think when you have not been there its very easy to talk like that.


To be very rational, I think the hardest fights are the most valuable experiences. So going on with living just for the sake of making those experiences is actually absolutely worth it. Imagine Jesus having killed himself after his trial.

Maybe you should ask for one of these fights then eh, good luck with that one.

Didnt Jesus commit suicide by cop?

Made someone responsable for his death, if it wasnt the cross it was the guy with the spear or his daddy, oh yeah right, he did it all for us because he was such an amazing guy right, no thanks, i am perfectly capable to die for my own sins, nobody else has to pay for those ones.

He also knew it was coming if i get the story right.

778 neighbour of some guy
19th October 2012, 10:30
PS I share about my son because it's my hope that others will not give up before they have the chance to discover who they really are.

I found out, crap, now you know why i love you. It wasnt easy, but here i am, reading your posts and enjoying them.

Lotsa luv and lotsa funshine to you

Ed

RunningDeer
19th October 2012, 14:57
I don't know if any of you read my thread about an inept doctor telling me I possibly might have bone cancer, but I'd just like to report that I saw that so-called MD 2 days ago, and he read the radiologist's report that it wasn't cancer. It was a calcium deposit, whatever that means. But not cancer. Yippee! It was interesting and somewhat worthwhile looking at the idea of maybe dying, something that approaches us all.

Hello Midnight,

That’s great, GREAT news on your follow-up visit. I participated on your thread, “If you had cancer, what would you do? (http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?50605-If-you-had-cancer-what-would-you-do&p=565148&viewfull=1#post565148)”. You helped a lot of people ask the hard questions and take action steps to change thoughts and behaviors that may contribute to their current state. It gave me paused to see where I needed to get honest about where I need to fine tune things. Thank you!


WhiteCrowBlackDeer, thank you for your powerful post about your son. My sister lost her son at a similar age when he drove a friend's motorcycle up a busy city street at high speed, hitting a left turning van. She is still grieving many years later. It's hard to understand why these events happen. I have told her she will see him again, either here in another life, or there where we go when we die. I believe this is true.

Maybe this next part of will somehow help your Sister: I was told that the worst loss is for a Mother to lose her Son. I don’t know how anyone can measure that, but I’ve since lost my Mom and Dad and Sister #8. I wasn’t effected like Michael.

I shared this story on GloriusPoetry’s thread called, “A Dove’s Message (http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?50780-A-Dove-s-Message&p=567690&viewfull=1#post567690)”. It demonstrates my point that I absolutely know our loved ones overlap our reality. I’ve had countless experience with Michael, but this example has physical evidence to back up what I know to be true:

“...We often question when we feel our loved one's presence. Today is the 4th anniversary of my sister, Becky’s passing. (sister #8, names are changed) 

Last spring, another sister, Cindy and I were coming back from our bi-annual pajama party at our cousins' place. I was prompted by Becky to share what I felt. So I told Cindy that Becky was with us the whole weekend. She agreed, but it was more out of courtesy. Cindy's most comfortable when she wears an analytical hat.

I added that she’s here now in the back seat. Then out of the blue, silly putty popped in my head. Becky, who had lovable elf/imp DNA, prompted me one last time. She wants me to ask you about silly putty.

Cindy is holding back tears while she reaches into the console between our seats and pulls out silly putty. Becky had given it to her a year before her passing. It was a reminder to play.”


http://i1262.photobucket.com/albums/ii610/WhiteCrowBlackDeer/images-2-2.jpg http://i1262.photobucket.com/albums/ii610/WhiteCrowBlackDeer/images-1.jpg

Peace and Heart,
WhiteCrowBlackDeer

PS I don't need physical evidence, my heart tells me, the warmth I feel, a subtle touch are some signs that I know my loved ones pop in. Also, when I invite them, they appear because there are no time and space constriction.

RunningDeer
19th October 2012, 15:15
”:oWCBD, me loves you and you will never know why, you are the best and bravest for sharing.:o”

love and respect
Edgar



PS I share about my son because it's my hope that others will not give up before they have the chance to discover who they really are.

I found out, crap, now you know why i love you. It wasnt easy, but here i am, reading your posts and enjoying them.

Lotsa luv and lotsa funshine to you

Ed

http://www.pic4ever.com/images/computer3.gif Oh, man, Ed...

I’m waiting for some profound words to come up. But the happy tears seems to wash away any thoughts. Only feelings of Love and Gratitude and Joy come up...
And now a great big Thank You, shouts out! http://emoticoner.com/files/emoticons/smileys/wet-kiss-smiley.gif?1292867699

Love,
Paula

778 neighbour of some guy
19th October 2012, 17:15
”:oWCBD, me loves you and you will never know why, you are the best and bravest for sharing.:o”

love and respect
Edgar



PS I share about my son because it's my hope that others will not give up before they have the chance to discover who they really are.

I found out, crap, now you know why i love you. It wasnt easy, but here i am, reading your posts and enjoying them.

Lotsa luv and lotsa funshine to you

Ed

http://www.pic4ever.com/images/computer3.gif Oh, man, Ed...

I’m waiting for some profound words to come up. But the happy tears seems to wash away any thoughts. Only feelings of Love and Gratitude and Joy come up...
And now a great big Thank You, shouts out! http://emoticoner.com/files/emoticons/smileys/wet-kiss-smiley.gif?1292867699

Love,
Paula

No profound words are no problem whatsoever, i took a gamble and it paid off, there is/was no more to it, left death, right gamble, choose and stick with it and see what happens and get surprised, turn yourself inside out one little piece at a time, one tiny surprise after another can make a pretty huge difference, now i am that guy one can call in case of crisis to talk them out of it, contact emergency services, hold hands, fix you a cuppa, take you to bed and pull the covers up, so there you go, experience can come to the rescue of others, you just have to be done yourself, forgive, never forget and use that.

Love to you Paula, you cannot be beaten anymore.. never ever.

Edgar