Nation tunes in to see which sociopath is more likable this time

[Charlie Pecos]

From The Onion:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/nation-tunes-in-to-see-which-sociopath-more-likabl,29946/

“Last debate, Romney was a great sociopath,” said Florida voter Jeff Yu, 28, who remarked that the Republican candidate’s impressive ability to simulate the appearance of caring had improved markedly since the beginning of the campaign. “He looked very comfortable and confident up there, even against a seasoned sociopath like Obama. He really helped me ignore the reality that to him, as to any politician, social interaction is nothing but a never-ending game of deception and psychological subterfuge, the only object of which is personal gain.”

[Charlie Pecos]

See also:

The Onion Endorses John Edwards for President

http://www.theonion.com/articles/the-onion-endorses-john-edwards-for-president,29989/


Furthermore, Mr. Edwards conducted a protracted extramarital affair with a younger woman while his wife was dying of cancer, and we like that he did this. Our reasons for liking that he did this are tenfold:

1. It was a brave thing to do, given the possible consequences

2. The woman in question was more attractive than Mr. Edwards’ wife

3. He did what he did without compromising his ideals, at least not to any illegal extent

4. He enjoyed himself, and good for him

5. The Onion believes sex is a natural and healthy biological function

6. Women have a weakness for men in powerful positions, and Mr. Edwards expertly exploited that weakness

7. Mr. Edwards’ “Two Americas” premise is very appealing

8. Again, his wife was dying of cancer, and thus was not an ideal partner for sexual intercourse

9. Mr. Edwards is attractive, and it is pleasing to imagine him having sexual intercourse with another attractive person

10. Every employee of this newspaper would have done the exact same thing, given the opportunity

Those who oppose John Edwards’ rightful ascent to our nation's highest office are, in no uncertain terms, cowards and hypocrites.



Now, consider for a moment what you, the reader, would be up against should you decide to defy The Onion. You would be pitting yourself against a multinational conglomerate whose yearly earnings exceed $200 billion. On top of that, you would also be taking on a media organization with nearly limitless control over information and public opinion. Pretend, if you must, that we live in a representative democracy, but the reality is that the planet is controlled by the makers of money and the makers of taste, and The Onion is both.

[ghostrider]

Romney will be elected. it's already been planned long ago. our vote is an illusion ...millionaires controlling things have never worked out for us for over 200 years. I will be glad when they have enough money and power so maybe then they will stop crushing us . take a look at the year 1871 when we were sold out and we became part of the corporation of the United States.

[Carmody]

where is the image of Romney in a nazi uniform? CIA logo on the other arm, of course. Not that I'm suggesting that anyone should make such an image and circulate it..no...

[Charlie Pecos]

It just floors me that, in order to get the truth from the media, you have to go to a satirical news organisation.