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Midnight
10th November 2012, 06:36
I've got no children. I live by myself. Just my cat and me.

Should I feel like a loser?

Society puts pressure on us to conform to various expectations. But I'm just going to live my life to the best of my ability. I am not interested in the pressure that comes from others. I'm just focused on doing the best that I can in my world of perception.

Please don't ask me to fit in to your box.

cloud9
10th November 2012, 06:55
I don't live by myself now but I did some years ago, it was awesome! I did what I wanted when I wanted, I enjoyed myself pretty much. Good for you!

GCS1103
10th November 2012, 07:02
You're not a loser. You're someone who has taken another path in life that does not include children (I have no children either, just dogs). Unfortunately in our society, there seems to be a belief that if someone is childless, they have not achieved nirvana like parents of children have. It's a choice that you make along your journey here, and there should be no reason for anyone to feel inferior to those who chose to have a family.

Over the years, I noticed that young parents were condescending to those of us who had no children; like we couldn't really grasp what life was all about. Now, years later, these same parents look 20 years older than they are and I have very few lines on my face. ;)

Kimberley
10th November 2012, 07:04
Much love to you dear brother midnight!!! You are not a loser for sure!!! And that is a given for me sight unseen because you are an avalon member! Keep doing your best and you are all set!!!

Much love to you brother!!! :hug:

modwiz
10th November 2012, 07:15
I've got no children. I live by myself. Just my cat and me.

Should I feel like a loser?

Society puts pressure on us to conform to various expectations. But I'm just going to live my life to the best of my ability. I am not interested in the pressure that comes from others. I'm just focused on doing the best that I can in my world of perception.

Please don't ask me to fit in to your box.

Sounds peaceful to me. I am working my way to your situation, minus pets. Almost there. Just left a very wonderful wife to begin that road. I am figuring out where/ how living alone while being a part of a community and being useful is best done. I am in a very amenable transition situation, right now. A very small PA ground crew it might be called.

Living alone or with a partner is an individual choice. Wherever greater peace and joy are found are indicators for me. Neither will be peaceful and joyful at all times, but one will be noticeably more so than the other, IMO.

bram
10th November 2012, 07:15
definitely not!!

Nanoo Nanoo
10th November 2012, 08:10
Once you start to question your existance, look at it as an pportunity to try something you can smle about :-)

Let your imagination push you and get out off the sofa. You just need a little shake up and then back under the overs


:-)

Demeisen
10th November 2012, 08:57
I would suppose there is two sides of coin whether you are living with someone or just alone. Both have their ups and downs. Both have something to experience and learn. I know people who are suffering about their loneliness, but a relationship is not a key to happiness either. I guess there is one constant which we are experiencing from different sides: There are moments when you don't want to be alone, but you have to. Versus you want to be alone, but you can't.

It's a strange society where we are living. It's a kind of pre-programmed behavior model that you have to be with someone, raise kids and play family.
Men and women have their roles to play too. They have go with the stereotype of what it's like to be a man or a woman. If you differ from that, it's very likely that you scare your partner away.
Marriage seems to be kind of 'status' and those who are living differently are lesser kind of citizens. They must be somehow faulty.
Of course I don't think this way. It's just what I have observed. I think those who are committed to live alone are strong and brave souls. Going upstream is not easy.
Best regards

778 neighbour of some guy
10th November 2012, 09:11
Nah, i do not think of you being a loser at all, when you are ok with it, its ok, but sure, i recognize the pressure man, my now ex girlfriend and i split up two months ago ( a biological clock thing and a difference of opinion on how to raise gnomes), so anyway we parted as friends and now she is back on her island Curacao( where it is almost a rule to have babies to fit in, like everywhere else i presume but a bit more pressure there, she is very well educated and persued her own goals first, like it should be, ), i very much enjoy being by myself again and relax a lot more, sure someone warm who crawls up to you at night or on the sofa is nice, but the other side is that people just develop different opinions and personal goals to persue in time and time can make and break anything in its path.

So great man, you dont have to conform to any social conventions in this context imo, just be happy and pet your cat and be independent, i think very often, the case just is people are afraid of being alone and have no clue what to do with themselves and seek refuge in halfbaked relationships just to not be confronted with the gaping holes of the unknown within themselves, you could also choose to become a workaholic, drunk, crackhead of lovejunkie or sexaddict to prevent this confrontation with self of course, but hey, you say you do fine and so be it, continue with being fine man.

Nice OP young man :p

Ammit
10th November 2012, 09:11
Loser is the wrong word, It should be " Independent and happy ".

I have worked with older folks for years and not one of them call themselves a loser, They are alone because of different
reasons but all say that they are happier that way. The main point is that when you are done being alone then you can always change that.

Ammit

markpierre
10th November 2012, 09:34
It's a blessing. No one's drama but your own. No amount of self-positioning can get you where you need to be, better than necessity can.
You were positioned there...take advantage of it.

Demeisen
10th November 2012, 09:39
665 plumber of the beast,

I think you put it right. pre-programmed minds of society are scared to be alone. It's something new and strange which they don't know how to deal with. Neither is this society supporting it. That's why many are jumping from relationship to relationship, not giving themselves time. I'm not saying it's wrong to so, of course. But I wonder if the emotional problems of previous relationship will transfer to new one...

guido
10th November 2012, 09:45
I've got no children. I live by myself. Just my cat and me.

Should I feel like a loser?

Society puts pressure on us to conform to various expectations. But I'm just going to live my life to the best of my ability. I am not interested in the pressure that comes from others. I'm just focused on doing the best that I can in my world of perception.

Please don't ask me to fit in to your box.


Society have mercy on me, i hope you're not angry if i disagree

q_0M9-_qDaA

778 neighbour of some guy
10th November 2012, 09:57
665 plumber of the beast,

I think you put it right. pre-programmed minds of society are scared to be alone. It's something new and strange which they don't know how to deal with. Neither is this society supporting it. That's why many are jumping from relationship to relationship, not giving themselves time. I'm not saying it's wrong to so, of course. But I wonder if the emotional problems of previous relationship will transfer to new one...

Yeah, i think not dumping old unfinished personal emotional issues in your new relationship is a good thing, its always good to take a good hard look at ones own shortcomings in any sort of relationship before entering a new relationship, the case could otherwise very well be there are now two not so happy dissatisfied people instead of one, i would rather not be confronted with some elses unfinished bussines or heaven high expectations that are not realistic, when you are at my age, or anyone over the age of twelve for that matter has had his/hers own portion of luggage to haul around to deal with, when people do not take time to come to terms with this it is very likely they will blame the other party for their own unhappiness and bounce around from this one to the next, creating havoc in the life of the other.

Also warmth and intimacy which we all need once in a while and preferably very often is not the same as being in a relationship perse filled with wishfull thinking projections, and in any case, someone else said it in this thread, when you are done being alone and you understand its not ok to shovel you crap willingly onto someone else you can always start looking around for a mate that thinks this way too and the probability you hit it of for the right reasons will increase exponentialy imo, no rush, only in case of mutual mind/heart/soulblowing crush.

Lotsa luv lotsa joy

Ed

Carmody
10th November 2012, 17:16
On the spiritual level, development and growth is generally....much, much faster, if one is alone.

With two people, it is, in the larger context... a disjointed three legged race.

This, of course, is an 'all things being equal' level of analysis. There are always exceptions and any emotional analysis of the given being to contend with.

Edit:
It is said that the more final or later levels of growth of being incarnate involves going it alone and working alone, not just on the self but in the context of one's chosen path of service and involvement. Thus there is a time and place for the given situation, nothing more, nothing less. One is not more equal than the other. Each has context and place.

Working with others, one might say, obviously comes first and as a sequence to be completed, otherwise development could be far too individualized and centered on self.... and then, forevermore (as potential outcomes go)...incapable of blending or working with others (too polarized in a singular viewing/capacity).

vilcabamba
10th November 2012, 18:19
I'm alone! Don't worry about it, someday we will be on the other side and laugh about all our worries about non conforming!

Daughter of Time
10th November 2012, 18:42
Midnight,

Don't let anyone make you feel inferior because you've chosen to be on your own. No one has the right to do that, yet they do. For the most part, attached people want independent beings to conform to the status quo. You simply have to stand your ground and know what's right for you.

I do admit that being with someone who makes one's life richer in every sense, may be the ideal way to exist, provided that the enhancement is reciprocal. But such a union is rare. Two people in a marriage can be like two worlds colliding, the impact of which may be difficult to recover from.

For those who have found the ideal partner, congratulations! Those who have not would be much better off alone. This does not mean one has to be lonely. It doesn't mean one cannot have people in one's life, like friends, or a lover if one should wish. It simply means one wishes to be autonomous.

Most couples who try to convince others that they should be married, are usually not exactly happy couples. Happy couples are usually understanding of the need to be happy, whichever way that happiness comes about, with or without a partner.

In the past, religions judged people as "sinful" unless they were married with children. This was a way to control them. If people were too busy looking after a family, they wouldn't have time to get to the truth of anything. It was all manipulation to keep people dependent on the church for external advice instead of finding one's own internal answers. Religions still exert an immense amount of power on the people, but as some begin to awaken, they realize they do not have to adhere to anyone's dictatorship.

And if others try to make you "wrong" for being single, don't get angry at them, otherwise they'll say you're miserable because you're "alone". Just tell them you're happy that they're happy and they should be happy for you that you're happy on your own terms.

Enjoy your space, your time with your thoughts, your time with your cat, and with yourself.

Flash
10th November 2012, 23:58
I've got one child, I live by myself. Just my cat, my child and me.

Should I feel like a looser?

Sorry my friend, I could not resist some little teasing sarcasm for a Midnight thought.

Really, if living alone makes someone a looser, this society and its thinking have major problems. But, alone with a cat, thiiiiis is strange ;)

Love to you, have a good evening and enjoy your life.

Flash

Flash
11th November 2012, 00:15
It's a blessing. No one's drama but your own. No amount of self-positioning can get you where you need to be, better than necessity can.
You were positioned there...take advantage of it.

No one's drama but your own!!! Not sure if it is a blessing or a nightmare.... I suppose it depends on the individual. Along with your own drama, no choice but seeing it, nobody to accuse for it. Quite a lot of work.


CGS 1103: Unfortunately in our society, there seems to be a belief that if someone is childless, they have not achieved nirvana like parents of children have. ....

Over the years, I noticed that young parents were condescending to those of us who had no children; like we couldn't really grasp what life was all about. Now, years later, these same parents look 20 years older than they are and I have very few lines on my face.

I could not pass on this because I thought you were unfair to parents here. Most people I know with children do not feel they have achieved nirvana (a very costly nirvana with a 20 years impending punition it seems), but definitly feel like they got an experience someone with not children cannot share, as a parent's club, as men not understanding what it is physically to give birth (how could they? why would we ask for them to understand?), as people who have not waken up for years in the middle of night won't understand, as I do not understand what it is to be making war in Irak, as you most probably do not understand what it is to live and adapt in a foreign country and language, etc. etc. Parents know very well that their life experience is different from then on, want it or not.

The other point is the love point. We love our children differently than our spouse, dog or cat. The quality of love in its subtleties is different. It is first a love of attachement and earth base mammal protection instinct, being transformed fast enough into not a stream, but a full river of love energy being exchanged. I do believe that this can be lived with a spouse, a child or a full stranger, or the planet, however, children have the knack for waking up this side of a human being, the unconditional love side.

Your comment was not fair.

Furthermore, anyone who has made lots of sacrifices of himself/herself, through war, working in social organisations, being a paramedic in bad situations, etc, will get older faster if they do not stop to balance the care between them and others. I truly do not know where is the glory of looking 20 years younger with a few lines (this is partly genetic as well). It just tells that you had good night sleep all your life, not too much anxiety or a very good genetic, no reason for diminishing the work or state of those that did not have these advantages.

Earth Angel
11th November 2012, 00:17
doesn't matter who you live with or without, being happy is the key! I know people married over 50 years and totally miserable for most of it, I know people living alone also totally miserable.....its all about finding out what makes YOU happy and not giving a rip what anyone else thinks you should do.

ps I do know happy people as well lol

Wind
11th November 2012, 00:21
Is it wrong to be an old soul?

Of course not! You are perfect just the way you are.

Knowrainknowrainbows!
11th November 2012, 00:40
Living alone as an older adult (or younger or middle aged) can be a wonderful time for self reflection, spiritual growth, and perhaps an opportune time to recuperate from the demands of having cared for others over an extended period.

Feeling lonely and/or isolated, however, is a signal that it may be time for more social interaction. I live alone (most days - daughter at college) except 2 dogs, 1 cat and find balancing friendship activities with 'solitude' is key.

"Less drama better karma" has been my motto for years now.
Peace, calm, tranquility
KRKR

BrianEn
11th November 2012, 00:50
I live alone. It's not a bad thing. Sure there's drawbacks, but there's drawbacks to living with people also.

RunningDeer
11th November 2012, 01:42
In answer to your question, Midnight, living alone wasnít a conscious decision. Every life plan went in totally different directions. What I didnít know back then was that Higher Self and Helpers knew I was capable and had signed on for more. So, lots of twist and turns along the way. It was an opportunity to discover parts that needed discovering, which could only be done alone once I committed to it, in a Conscious Way.

I just figured out the math. Even with two marriages/divorces, Iíve spent more than half my adult life alone. My last serious relationship was long distant for almost five years. Wolfgang lived in Venice, Italy, and Iím in the US. Weíd get together during my school vacations and summers. My only child passed in December and Wolfgang died the following July. Thatís when I made the decision to take some serious time and figure out this game of life.

There are many perks to living alone. Iíve had opportunities to travel, have private martial arts and small group training, and study, and classes that I would not have had if I were in a relationship. I make my own decisions and am 100% responsible for them. I donít hide new clothes in my trunk and sneak them in and later say, ďOh, this old thing?Ē I cook what I want. I donít have to hide the last cookie. And I can leave the toilet seat up. I have a small pile of clothes in the corner just for the heck of it. And most of the time there are no dishes in the sink. I donít mind taking out the garbage. The only thing I worry about is May and September, when itís time to wrestle with the air conditioner.

The rest is immeasurable. Silence. I would not have taken the time to go as deeply if I were committed to another. These years have been a gift to myself. I also know, when itís time, Iíll open to another. Weíll grow in Silence together because each of us will have had that time to tap into our Souls/Higher Selves. I Love today, and I Love the tomorrows to come. Itís been 44 years since my first rented apartment. I remember it like it was yesterday. Lifeís a Win-Win, once I discovered it's not a race, but a full-on, experiential Journey. (trite, but true)

Peace,
WhiteCrowBlackDeer

bodhii71
11th November 2012, 03:44
Nah man, live strong. Perhaps this might be your last go around, or you don't need to incur any more Karma.
I think it a brave soul who can do such a thing. If your content and happy, no worries.
Choose to marry or choose not to marry, either way you'll regret it.

Sammy
11th November 2012, 04:09
I've got no children. I live by myself. Just my cat and me.

Should I feel like a loser?

Society puts pressure on us to conform to various expectations. But I'm just going to live my life to the best of my ability. I am not interested in the pressure that comes from others. I'm just focused on doing the best that I can in my world of perception.

Please don't ask me to fit in to your box.

Perfect life IMO. After people, I have zero problem living in relationship with all else. I prefer to be a loner too. I find the unhealthy ego component is only found in human beings.

You are a winner to me, sir. Love to you, Chester

Snookie
11th November 2012, 04:38
I spent 9 years in a very controlling contentious marriage. Then 4 years by myself, which were very fulfilling and allowed me the time needed to do some deep soul searching. I met a wonderful guy 12 years ago, however we lived apart until last November when I moved to where he lived. All these phases taught me a lot about myself and I'm glad to have experienced each one of them.

My sister told me that people should have children so they are not alone in their old age. What a crock! My significant other has 3 sons, 2 that he is lucky to see once or twice a year as they live thousands of miles away. The other one who lives 3 hours away we see a bit more often, but he is extremely busy with his work and family as well.

We have a friend who is widowed who enjoys his autonomy, and doesn't want a commited relationship. I have several girlfriends who are single, some would like a relationship others who are happy alone.

Apparently 45% of adults live alone, so you are in good company. As others have said - if you're happy with your life great, if not do something about it. One of my girlfriends met a great guy online, so that's always an option.

Warlock
11th November 2012, 04:39
One of my great regrets was not remaining single and living alone.

Deep down I knew that was what I should have done, but I gave into the pressure of a certain situation, being so young at that time.
So now I live with great restraints on my freedom. The feeling of breaking out gets worse as you get older, but the ramifications of making that decision are just too many.

Keep enjoying your life "old man".

Some of us should have been like you.
Living life on our terms, not those of others.

Warlock

latshaw
11th November 2012, 05:33
Love this post! I have been on my own since 1979! I have kids - but all grown with families and careers and don't really see them too much either. I am 67 so that's 33 years on my own. Guess what? If that means I am a loser, then I am one very happy loser. I love my solitude and the freedom to enjoy my personal endeavors and interest. You live alone with your cat and I live alone with a miniture poodle! Years ago I asked my doctor , after I gave birth to 3 children, if it was wrong not to want anymore children. He told me..."Absolutely not...as amatter of fact, I think it means your growing up. It is the nature of the ego to wants to produce itself and often thru our offspring we want to impose expectations on them that we didn't accomplish ourselves...so by not wanting more children you are probably learning to relinquish the control of the ego." Now, whether his (the Doc's) philosopy is true or not - It resonated with me and I became a vey happy camper!! Don't misunderstand - I adore my kids/grandchildren - I just continued on to a different stage in life. Maybe in your case the ego didn't require reproduction. Anyway, thanks again for your post - it brought back a teaching memory for me ;)

Midnight
11th November 2012, 06:30
This really is a website that has a lot of enlightened souls on it.

Twenty years of living solo has been a mostly pleasant experience for me (I've done the marriage thing). But maybe being really old and living alone can eventually turn out to be a big challenge (I'm approaching old age, but I'm not OLD yet). I remember how my mom supported my dad (who had cancer) in the last year of his life. She kept him out of a hospital until his last several days.

The peace of a solitary 20 years has helped me heal from my earlier experiences, but being in a loving long-term relationship is still usually the best this life has to offer. Usually, but not always.

Anyway, thanks for the lovely responses to my post!

GCS1103
11th November 2012, 07:34
It's a blessing. No one's drama but your own. No amount of self-positioning can get you where you need to be, better than necessity can.
You were positioned there...take advantage of it.

No one's drama but your own!!! Not sure if it is a blessing or a nightmare.... I suppose it depends on the individual. Along with your own drama, no choice but seeing it, nobody to accuse for it. Quite a lot of work.


CGS 1103: Unfortunately in our society, there seems to be a belief that if someone is childless, they have not achieved nirvana like parents of children have. ....

Over the years, I noticed that young parents were condescending to those of us who had no children; like we couldn't really grasp what life was all about. Now, years later, these same parents look 20 years older than they are and I have very few lines on my face.

I could not pass on this because I thought you were unfair to parents here. Most people I know with children do not feel they have achieved nirvana (a very costly nirvana with a 20 years impending punition it seems), but definitly feel like they got an experience someone with not children cannot share, as a parent's club, as men not understanding what it is physically to give birth (how could they? why would we ask for them to understand?), as people who have not waken up for years in the middle of night won't understand, as I do not understand what it is to be making war in Irak, as you most probably do not understand what it is to live and adapt in a foreign country and language, etc. etc. Parents know very well that their life experience is different from then on, want it or not.

The other point is the love point. We love our children differently than our spouse, dog or cat. The quality of love in its subtleties is different. It is first a love of attachement and earth base mammal protection instinct, being transformed fast enough into not a stream, but a full river of love energy being exchanged. I do believe that this can be lived with a spouse, a child or a full stranger, or the planet, however, children have the knack for waking up this side of a human being, the unconditional love side.

Your comment was not fair.

Furthermore, anyone who has made lots of sacrifices of himself/herself, through war, working in social organisations, being a paramedic in bad situations, etc, will get older faster if they do not stop to balance the care between them and others. I truly do not know where is the glory of looking 20 years younger with a few lines (this is partly genetic as well). It just tells that you had good night sleep all your life, not too much anxiety or a very good genetic, no reason for diminishing the work or state of those that did not have these advantages.

Flash-

Your response to my post has just confirmed what I have experienced for years. There is a tendency for parents to believe that they understand love and sacrifice better than those of us who have never had children. I said in my post that I never had a child - I didn't say that I haven't raised one. One does not need go through labor in order to love a child that they have not given birth to.

As to my comment about looking young - that was a joke, Flash. I've been in a profession for my entire adult life that produces much anxiety and keeps me up very late at night. Nor was I "diminishing" the work of others. I have no idea how you managed to take a short post of mine and come to the conclusion that I have never experienced unconditional love and have had an easy life.

BMJ
11th November 2012, 10:34
Hi Midnight,
Have you ever watched Golden Girls?

It might be fun to have maybe a person or two of a similiar age move in to provide you with company and support if your sick, you could charge for the rooms and have some additional money. But I wouldn't consider you a loser for not conforming or living alone, I've been there done that and enjoyed my own space and freedom.

Sammy
11th November 2012, 21:59
I know folks in their 90s that live alone, do fine and are quite happy. Maybe one of the secrets to a long, happy and healthy life is simply realizing its all about attitude. In my case, I see life as a gift and I prefer to be in positive relationship with all. I also see all as simply Source manifest so it can know itself, experience itself, thus I see all as Source individualized, each having its own 100% value to the all. I find only in humans the consciously intended desire to not live in harmony with the rest of Source's creation... perhaps there are some ETs of the same ilk (some think so) and perhaps there are some EDs of the same ilk (some think so). For these reasons I have come to see all within creation as an expression of creation - any particular form of Source's expression no less (nor no more) significant than any other. This includes myself as just one form of Source manifest. My ego sometimes doesn't like this but that's just to bad for the ego.

Because I essentially see my experience with all individual expressions of Source as simply my decision to be in positive relationship with Source, then the fact is, I am never alone. To further add to this point, I find I love life, am in constant companionship with all that arises within my awareness and choose to be with the aspects of what arises within my awareness that demonstrates its choice to be in harmony with myself and all else it may encounter. This is why I have less and less to do with most human beings. It is because I have found that most human beings prefer to be in conflict with other human beings and in conflict with many other expressions of Source.

So the truth is I am not at all a loner and the further truth is that I no longer require relationship with any human being (or any being for that matter) that doesn't care to be in relationship with me. My ego sometimes doesn't like this either, but that's just too bad for the ego.

Love to All - justone

shadowstalker
11th November 2012, 22:08
If you live on ur own by free will choice then more power to you..:cheer2:
If you live by ur self not by choice and wish for company, get a room mate compatible to you. :ranger:
The economy sucks I am sure there would be no problem gaining company..lol :grouphug:

P.S. no need to impress folks here, ur supported 100% :luv:

Midnight
12th November 2012, 05:36
Shadowstalker, I'm not trying to "impress" anybody here. I'm just typing out things I'm thinking.

Flash
12th November 2012, 05:41
I just hope you won't find anybody that wants to be with you Midnight because the economy sucks...;)

If it were the case, please take you legs and make sure they reach your neck because you are running away so fast. lol

"Prends tes jambes ŗ ton cou et fuis..." French saying

Midnight
12th November 2012, 06:10
Flash, I've only cast an I Ching 4 or 5 times in my life. I figure the beings that answer I Ching questions can't be bothered answering questions such as "Should I invest in mining stock?" But one time, as a young man, I was involved with a beautiful but very difficult young woman, and feeling a lot of stress, I cast an I Ching, asking the question, should I get out or not.

The answer was prend tes jambes a ton cou et fuis, but in the English language (I know prend means take and jambes means legs, right?).

I'm not looking for anybody. I'm happy to let my life unfold in a natural way. And my cat might not like being the number 2 female in my house.

deridan
12th November 2012, 13:15
Silence. I would not have taken the time to go as deeply if I were committed to another. These years have been a gift to myself. I also know, when itís time, Iíll open to another. Weíll grow in Silence together because each of us will have had that time to tap into our Souls/Higher Selves. I Love today, and I Love the tomorrows to come. (trite, but true)

Peace,
WhiteCrowBlackDeer

That is the ultimate which you mention there, 'growing in silence together',
so-then let every moment be in growth of the higher self. __i've seen some really grievous ways inwhich being alone can affect a person. societal pressure is always a hateable hate, so inappropriate with there applications norms whatever; not giving mind to the mechanics is in olden terms to call the judgements of the higher gods upon oneself.
but right, if i am to enjoy the time, co-involving with another, then time by self, and developing of the higher self is not a wasted resource, it makes that day betterthen

soleil
12th November 2012, 14:31
I've got no children. I live by myself. Just my cat and me.

Should I feel like a loser?

Society puts pressure on us to conform to various expectations. But I'm just going to live my life to the best of my ability. I am not interested in the pressure that comes from others. I'm just focused on doing the best that I can in my world of perception.

Please don't ask me to fit in to your box.
i wanted to reply before i read any other responses.

my response is HECK NO!!! (although i'd use the word He**) but thats just me.

kids are such a huge responsibility, and if thats not your cup of tea then i understand. anyone else who makes you feel like you should procreate should mind their own business.

Maia Gabrial
12th November 2012, 15:07
I think it's great that you have not fallen into that thinking that you HAVE TO do what everyone else is doing to be accepted. Honestly, would you be happier living up to others' ideas of what you should be like? Most of the time, all it takes is for an individual thinker to inspire others.... As you can see, avalon has many free thinkers just like you.

And as I've learned, there's no such thing as a loser. Everyone is here to experience what they've chosen to experience. Choosing to live alone gives a person plenty of time to go within.... I've finally gotten the place all to myself after everyone moved out. Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed my family and career. But now I can concentrate on my inner journey alot more....My regret is that I don't have a cat or dog.... :becky:

pugwash84
12th November 2012, 15:34
I have never thought it was bad and I don't know many people who do think it's bad. My Auntie has never had children through choice and the thought never came to my head that it wasn't normal. I think the media have so many children's adverts on the telly because most children are drawn into it and pester their parents for things and especially around Christmas, so sometimes people can feel odd without children when telly is bombarded with children and the ideal happy family scenario. I think it is as normal not to have children as it is to have children. Also I have 4 cats so I probably have the mad cat lady title lol Benson, Gizmo, Nemo and felix xxx