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Tony
14th November 2012, 10:01
What is the cause of your suffering, unhappiness or feeling of being ill at ease?

markpierre
14th November 2012, 10:22
Agendas. I must not like agendas.

Tane Mahuta
14th November 2012, 10:27
Western Medicene...

TM

Prodigal Son
14th November 2012, 10:40
Mistakes that I've made in the past due to fear, particularly the fear of being alone and the fear of not having enough.

buckminster fuller
14th November 2012, 12:30
Is suffering a state or a condition ?

gooty64
14th November 2012, 13:12
arguing with what is

ps, old programming

ps, believing what tall people say

Tony
14th November 2012, 13:14
Is suffering a state or a condition ?


It seems to be a temporary state of mind, and a temporary situation we live in.


tony

RMorgan
14th November 2012, 13:26
Hey Tony,

The cause of my suffering right now is a Charlie Parker´s song called Ornithology. I´ve been trying to learn this song on my alto saxophone for weeks, without much success.

Besides this, the cause of my long term suffering is knowing that the human civilization is collapsing; soon a lot of people will suffer even more and it looks like we can´t do anything about it besides complaining and speculating on the internet.

Raf.

GaelVictor
14th November 2012, 13:29
Seeking outside yourself for relief, projecting, guilt, remorse, etc. Resisting that, which you cannot change breeds unhappiness.

Although you must not resist that what is real, you must work on yourself to achieve equilibrium and further.

4evrneo
14th November 2012, 15:12
This biggest source of my frustration is the people I love who refuse to acknowledge the truth of who they are.

RUSirius
14th November 2012, 15:19
cuase of current suffering...my mind and past actions

gaiagirl
14th November 2012, 15:38
Lately . . . Can't seem to shake the feeling of self-pity over my constant state of poverty. I am so tired of hearing about the 1% and how much they have (as well as the ridiculous amount spent on elections) when I can barely keep a roof over my own head despite my (worthless) education. Then of course I have to throw in the guilt of feeling like this when so many on this planet have it so much worse than I do.

Daughter of Time
14th November 2012, 15:48
One of my major causes of suffering is that the majority of the population is in a deep slumber when it comes to what is truly going on in the world and all the levels of deceit which keep the veil before people's eyes. And if one tries to awaken them, they become rather angry as they think they are happy in their ignorance.

"Ignorance is bliss" causes me great discontent.

sleepy
14th November 2012, 16:08
xxxxx xxxxx

Jules
14th November 2012, 17:08
The cause of my suffering is a friend with an addiction. I know I am powerless to heal her and I know I need to distance myself from her but I feel like I am judging her and I guess I am. Judgment is causing my suffering.

I also know someone whose addictive personality really messed them up. She is very secretive. If I tell her a positive action, she'll do the opposite just because that is her nature. Although I am affected indirectly, it helps me to imagine a sign on her forehead that says sick, so in my mind, I don't judge and it helps me to put it into perspective. It is not always easy, but I try to separate her from her disease. Someone else's decisions are theirs and who they are. I have enough dealing with own mistakes, so I will try to work on learning from my mistakes as a priority. Then if I am able to help others, I try.

Jules
14th November 2012, 17:23
What is the cause of your suffering, unhappiness or feeling of being ill at ease?

To answer that question, one can ask, what is happiness? If you know what happiness is, you can make it a goal to do things that bring happiness. Causes of unhappiness for me would be seeing others as well as myself suffering, but even if I don't see the suffering, and I feel content at the moment, suffering still exists. Suffering is not having Maslow's hierarchy of needs met.

Needs are Physiological needs, Safety needs, Love and belonging, Esteem, Self-actualization, and Self-transcendence. If a human has all these needs met, then the causes or suffering, unhappiness, or feeling ill at ease are obsolete. Suffering is vital need/s that are not met.

latshaw
14th November 2012, 17:40
gaiagirl...Ok to feel what you feel. Feelings (emotions) are a gift to remind us we aren't dead yet!;) The key is feel it, own it and then get on with it. When I feel something on the negative side, I give myself 15 minutes max to boo-hoo over it, then say outloud "get over yourself" and I move on. Then I kinda have to laugh at myself. Thanks for sharing with us.

latshaw
14th November 2012, 18:01
To both Jules And Sleepy..A little story: A person wants to know the great mystery of how to stop suffering. He goes to famous guru. Guru puts him in cave, Every day guru delivers 3 meals - and - with each meal delivery, takes a large book and slaps him on the head until the man cries OUCH! This countinues for 5 long years. Then one day, guru comes in and delivers
1st meal of the day, raises the big book to hit the seeker on the head....and....all of a sudden, the man stands up, raises his hand and yells STOP! The guru turns to the man and says....go home - mystery learned. :wizard:

¤=[Post Update]=¤

:see reply below I think I posted in wrong place...newbie here...oops!

¤=[Post Update]=¤

pls see further below - newbie here -- oops i think i posted in wrong place - sorry!

conk
14th November 2012, 18:11
My suffering results from internal conflict. As a child I was paralyzed by shyness and feeling that no one liked me, that I had nothing of interest to offer. At the same time I felt that I was extremely special. Now guessing the battle was between ego and my higher self, the latter being correct. I washed myself of the shyness by use of Psycho-Cybernetics visualization techniques, but some of the insecurity lingers in my subconscious. My conscious thoughts, education, and logic tell me that I am a magnificent creator. My sub-mind is cluttered with invalid assumptions and poor brain mapping. This could be the reason for all suffering, fear and insecurity. So, cleansing of the blocked energy is most everyone's biggest fight?

Better than yesterday, but not as good as tomorrow.

Tony
14th November 2012, 19:17
Is it possible that our very wanting happiness and a perfect place to live, is actually the cause of our suffering? This would mean that we are paying much attention on our physical existence.

To acknowledge that we are suffering must be the first steps to finding the cause of this suffering.

Our physical existence can never be perfect, a mosquito bite, haemorrhoids, too much food, too little food, raining, not raining.... can cause us discomfort. All of these cause emotions to arise in the mind, our hopes and our fears.

So, is it in the mind that we should be looking for the cause of our suffering? ...How we deal with situation, in here:loco:!








Tony

RUSirius
14th November 2012, 19:31
Is it possible that our very wanting happiness and a perfect place to live, is actually the cause of our suffering? This would mean that we are paying much attention on our physical existence.

To acknowledge that we are suffering must be the first steps to finding the cause of this suffering.

Our physical existence can never be perfect, a mosquito bite, haemorrhoids, too much food, too little food, raining, not raining.... can cause us discomfort. All of these cause emotions to arise in the mind, our hopes and our fears.

So, is it in the mind that we should be looking for the cause of our suffering? ...How we deal with situation, in here:loco:!








Tony

Not "shirking" responsibility here, I know what I am accountable for, but this place (earth) and all its B.S. systems and structures that have been dictated to us does not and has not ever vibed with me, I really believe that true happiness on the planet can only be achieved once the overall happiness level for all raises on this planet. I also do believe it can and will happen, though I have no proof so dont ask.
Jeff

Agape
14th November 2012, 19:35
Ignorance. It's as simple as that .



:(

Zelig
14th November 2012, 19:41
Is it possible that our very wanting happiness and a perfect place to live, is actually the cause of our suffering? This would mean that we are paying much attention on our physical existence.

To acknowledge that we are suffering must be the first steps to finding the cause of this suffering.

Our physical existence can never be perfect, a mosquito bite, haemorrhoids, too much food, too little food, raining, not raining.... can cause us discomfort. All of these cause emotions to arise in the mind, our hopes and our fears.

So, is it in the mind that we should be looking for the cause of our suffering? ...How we deal with situation, in here:loco:!








Tony

I don't feel as though I'm suffering but I do feel as though my mind is getting in the way of my happiness. I'm learning, but ever so slowly and stumblingly.

I very much appreciate queries such as these and benefit from the self-reflection they provoke. Thank you Tony.

TargeT
14th November 2012, 19:43
Is it possible that our very wanting happiness and a perfect place to live, is actually the cause of our suffering? This would mean that we are paying much attention on our physical existence.

To acknowledge that we are suffering must be the first steps to finding the cause of this suffering.

Our physical existence can never be perfect, a mosquito bite, haemorrhoids, too much food, too little food, raining, not raining.... can cause us discomfort. All of these cause emotions to arise in the mind, our hopes and our fears.

So, is it in the mind that we should be looking for the cause of our suffering? ...How we deal with situation, in here:loco:!








Tony

The cause of my suffering (if there is any) is due to my perspective, and nothing else.


Beware the happiness trap!


The Happiness Trap is based on the principles of ACT, a revolutionary new mindfulness-based model, developed from cutting-edge research in behavioural psychology. The aim of ACT is to maximise human potential for a rich and meaningful life, and a wealth of published scientific studies prove its effectiveness. So if you want to escape “the happiness trap” and find meaning and fulfillment in life, this book is for you. (Note: this book steers well clear of popular but non-scientific approaches, such as 'positive thinking', 'positive affirmations' and 'self-hypnosis'; although such techniques may make you feel good in the short term, they simply do not work in the long term.)

http://www.thehappinesstrap.com/



What is Acceptance & Commitment Therapy?
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) gets it name from one of its core messages: to accept what is out of your personal control, while committing to action that will improve your quality of life.

The aim of ACT is to help people create a rich full and meaningful life, while effectively handling the pain and stress that life inevitably brings. ACT (which is pronounced as the word 'act', not as the initials) does this by:

a) teaching you psychological skills to deal with your painful thoughts and feelings effectively – in such a way that they have much less impact and influence over you. (These are known as mindfulness skills.)

b) helping you to clarify what is truly important and meaningful to you - ie your values - then use that knowledge to guide, inspire and motivate you to change your life for the better.


The ACT View Of Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a “hot topic” in psychology right now - increasingly recognised as a powerful therapeutic intervention for everything from work stress to depression - and also as an effective tool for increasing emotional intelligence. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is a powerful mindfulness-based therapy (and coaching model) which currently leads the field in terms of research, application and results.

Mindfulness is a mental state of awareness, focus and openness - which allows you to engage fully in what you are doing at any moment. In a state of mindfulness, difficult thoughts and feelings have much less impact and influence over you - so it is hugely useful for everything from full-blown psychiatric illness to enhancing athletic or business performance. In many models of coaching and therapy, mindfulness is taught primarily via meditation. However, in ACT, meditation is seen as only one way amongst hundreds of learning these skills - and this is a good thing, because most people do not like meditating! ACT gives you a vast range of tools to learn mindfulness skills - many of which require only a few minutes to master.

ACT breaks mindfulness skills down into 3 categories:
1) defusion: distancing from, and letting go of, unhelpful thoughts, beliefs and memories
2) acceptance: making room for painful feelings, urges and sensations, and allowing them to come and go without a struggle
3) contact with the present moment: engaging fully with your here-and-now experience, with an attitude of openness and curiosity

These 3 skills require you to use an aspect of yourself for which no word exists in common everyday language. It is the part of you that is capable of awareness and attention. In ACT, we often call it the 'observing self'. We can talk about 'self' in many ways, but in common everyday language we talk mainly about the 'physical self' - your body - and the 'thinking self' - your mind. The 'observing self' is the part of you that is able to observe both your physical self and your thinking self. A better term is 'pure awareness' - because that's all it is: just awareness. It is the part of you that is aware of everything else: aware of every thought, every feeling, everything you see, hear, touch, taste, smell, and do.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a unique and creative approach to behaviour change which alters the very ground rules of most Western psychotherapy. It is a mindfulness-based, values-oriented behavioural therapy, that has many parallels to Eastern philosophy, yet is firmly based on cutting-edge Western research into human behavioural psychology.

In a nutshell, ACT helps people to fundamentally change their relationship with painful thoughts and feelings, to develop a transcendent sense of self, to live in the present, and to take action, guided by their deepest values, to create a rich and meaningful life. ACT takes the view that most psychological suffering is caused by experiential avoidance, i.e. by attempting to avoid, escape, or get rid of unwanted private experiences (such as unpleasant thoughts, feelings, sensations, urges & memories). Our efforts at experiential avoidance might work in the short term, but in the long term they often fail, and in the process, they often create significant psychological suffering.

In ACT, we develop mindfulness skills (both traditional techniques, and many modern, innovative ones) which enable us to fundamentally change our relationship with painful thoughts and feelings. When we practise these skills in everyday life, painful feelings and unhelpful thoughts have much less impact and influence over us. Therefore, instead of wasting our time and energy in a fruitless battle with our inner experiences, we can invest our energy on taking action to change our life for the better - guided by our deepest values.

A steadily growing body of scientific data confirms that cultivating acceptance, mindfulness, and openness to experience is highly effective for the treatment of depression, anxiety disorders, substance abuse, chronic pain, PTSD, anorexia, and even schizophrenia. ACT is also a very effective model for life coaching and executive coaching.

To download a simple, non-technical article which gives a basic overview of ACT, click here



PSYCHOLOGICAL FLEXIBILITY & THE SIX CORE PROCESSES OF ACT
There are six core processes in ACT: 1.Connection means being in the present moment: connecting fully with whatever is happening right here, right now. (Technically in ACT, this is called "contacting the present moment".)

2.Defusion means learning to step back or detach from unhelpful thoughts and worries and memories: instead of getting caught up in your thoughts, or pushed around by them, or struggling to get rid of them, you learn how to let them come and go – as if they were just cars driving past outside your house. You learn how to step back and watch your thinking, so you can respond effectively - instead of getting tangled up or lost inside your thinking.
3.Expansion means opening up and making room for painful feelings and sensations. You learn how to drop the struggle with them, give them some breathing space, and let them be there without getting all caught up in them, or overwhelmed by them; the more you can open up, and give them room to move, the easier it is for your feelings to come and go without draining you or holding you back. (Technically in ACT this is called "acceptance".)
4.The Observing Self is the part of you that is responsible for awareness and attention. We don’t have a word for it in common everyday language – we normally just talk about the ‘mind’. But there are two parts to the mind: the thinking self – i.e. the part that is always thinking; the part that is responsible for all your thoughts, beliefs, memories, judgments, fantasies etc. And then there’s the observing self – the part of your mind that is able to be aware of whatever you are thinking or feeling or doing at any moment. Without it, you couldn’t develop those mindfulness skills. And the more you practice those mindfulness skills, the more you’ll become aware of this part of your mind, and able to access it when you need it.
5.Values are what you want your life to be about, deep in your heart. What you want to stand for. What you want to do with your time on this planet. What ultimately matters to you in the big picture. What you would like to be remembered for by the people you love.
6.Committed action means taking action guided by your values – doing what matters – even if it’s difficult or uncomfortable
When you put all these things together, you develop something called psychological flexibility. This is the ability to be in the present moment, with awareness and openness, and take action, guided by your values. In other words, it’s the ability to be present, open up, and do what matters. The greater your ability to do that, the greater your quality of life – the greater your sense of vitality, wellbeing and fulfillment.
http://www.thehappinesstrap.com/about_act

Camilo
14th November 2012, 20:18
Is suffering a state or a condition ?


It seems to be a temporary state of mind, and a temporary situation we live in.


tony

I don't believe people experience suffering with the mind, but emotionally and physically.

¤=[Post Update]=¤

"Wanting" seems to be the major source of suffering. Eastern teachings say: when you stop wanting the suffering stops.

TargeT
14th November 2012, 20:28
Is suffering a state or a condition ?


It seems to be a temporary state of mind, and a temporary situation we live in.


tony

I don't believe people experience suffering with the mind, but emotionally and physically.

I think the oppisite, suffering is only experienced in the mind (emotions being a part of that) any physical sensation is just that, you can label it what you will.

There are people out there who genuinely enjoy cutting themselfs or being strangled or spanked, to some these actions could be considered "suffering"...

There are cultures where women cram their feet into tiny shoots that change the shape of their foot in order to be smaller, this seems to be volantarily done, I would consider that suffering, but they do not.

this, to me, (a long with logic) seems to indicate that suffering is a matter of perspective, not actuality.

however, the modern definition of the word seems to typically include pain; I feel it is best to revert to the Latin origins for this word to truely understand what it was meant to be :


Translations into English:

bear (verb, noun, )

endure (verb, )

suffer


http://en.glosbe.com/la/en/suffero

clearly pain and suffering are not the same thing, so I feel pain should be removed from suffering as it is not a pre-requisit.

WanderingRogue
14th November 2012, 21:09
While I agree that it is often our perspectives involved in how we experience suffering, I do not think that this means that we can completely control whether we ever experience suffering or not. I do agree that it is an emotional concept and not physical. I like your spanking example Target, so I'm going to expand a bit....If I choose to have you spank me in fun, then no, I am not suffering. I may giggle or laugh or find it erotic....however I think this would also be directly linked to the intent of the spanking. At the point that the intent behind it is to cause pain of an un-pleasurable sort or if it occurs against my wishes, I then begin to suffer. I do not choose to suffer. It would be my choice to remove myself from that suffering. If I cannot remove myself, I will continue to suffer because I am being forced to endure something I do not wish to endure.

Jules
14th November 2012, 21:18
Is it possible that our very wanting happiness and a perfect place to live, is actually the cause of our suffering? This would mean that we are paying much attention on our physical existence.

To acknowledge that we are suffering must be the first steps to finding the cause of this suffering.

Our physical existence can never be perfect, a mosquito bite, haemorrhoids, too much food, too little food, raining, not raining.... can cause us discomfort. All of these cause emotions to arise in the mind, our hopes and our fears.

So, is it in the mind that we should be looking for the cause of our suffering? ...How we deal with situation, in here:loco:!



Tony

:ohwell: Yes, our physical existence can never be perfect on this planet, as we know it. We can still be happy if we get caught in the rain, have a little discomfort, or get bit by a mosquito. Happiness means different things to different people. Happiness can definitely begin with a state of mind.

deridan
14th November 2012, 22:02
My suffering results from internal conflict. As a child I was paralyzed by shyness and feeling that no one liked me, that I had nothing of interest to offer. At the same time I felt that I was extremely special. Now guessing the battle was between ego and my higher self, the latter being correct. I washed myself of the shyness by use of Psycho-Cybernetics visualization techniques, but some of the insecurity lingers in my subconscious. My conscious thoughts, education, and logic tell me that I am a magnificent creator. My sub-mind is cluttered with invalid assumptions and poor brain mapping. This could be the reason for all suffering, fear and insecurity. So, cleansing of the blocked energy is most everyone's biggest fight?

Better than yesterday, but not as good as tomorrow.

wow, one that was a systemized version of some string i thought to pull

..troubling me,........is my present an extension of that shyier selfs last battles, well it stinks, despite its rewards, i never want to do it again,,,,,,,,,but what else is fun in this world?

being, that must be stiffling me, in the areas where we have evidence of being, that is is to be and have the field conform, but where we have had no prior evidence in soul here, that is hard,

this is a mad good description on the dynamic: from sinner, had a sinner song with sinner words concurrent while i read this piece by sinner: http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/project/4/07_coins.shtml

deridan
14th November 2012, 22:10
oh, heres a funnier one,
the moon,
if its destroyed, won't we wish for what could have been, really makes me wish some virulent little aliens are protecting it with hand and claw.

i don't think peace and war is based on it, somebody is probably wishing we aggree to sell our inheritance before we see the actual -blessedness of it being there-

cheez_2806
14th November 2012, 23:03
Long term and short term suffering for me= the sense of helplessness

I read all these information about how the world is going to be or is like...don't know what to do except changing myself to get out of the herd...yet sometimes the helplessness because there is both the easy part and the hard part. Dealing with the hard part = helplessness... Don't know what to do about it really

Wind
14th November 2012, 23:16
Past life traumas?

Sammy
14th November 2012, 23:31
What is the cause of your suffering, unhappiness or feeling of being ill at ease?

I have discovered that "suffering" for me only occurs when I involve my "mind" - when I project what if's based upon my interpretation of an experience or worse, based upon when I start to project potential outcomes. I also suffer when I review past events and project what what if scenarios such as - what if I had gone to my Dad back in 1979 when my intuition suggested I should but instead I allowed my Dad to convince me he would be ok and then three days later I found him dead from suicide.

All these things come only from the realm of my mind. When I live in the now and I live in the reality of the moment, my mind is nowhere to be found and I never, ever suffer.

Who knows if this is the case for anyone else though... Love to You, Tony - Chester

Kristin
14th November 2012, 23:44
Suffering. Hmmm, well I can say I used to suffer. But being in the present, not living in the past or projected future... took a lot of study and time, but these things have helped. Suffer... it begets a long term state of mind for me, like depression. Kind of a loaded question. The answer would depend on one's definition of "suffering". I do not think that I am suffering per se, but I see others that seem to fit that... Pineal, why don't you define suffering for the rest of us and create a reason behind your questioning... though I feel that it is most likely buddhist related... LOL!

From the Heart,
Kristin

Hervé
15th November 2012, 00:37
Another one of those threads that's missing the definition of what the question is about...

Anyway:


http://markrathbun.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/buddha.png?w=500

Grinner
15th November 2012, 00:45
My thoughts and "beliefs". Jumping onto them and letting them take me for a ride. No thought - no problem.

bodhii71
15th November 2012, 00:49
1Q58nTiZrJ0

This about sums it up for me, when I get pulled into the duality.

Fred Steeves
15th November 2012, 01:01
Hi Tony, good subject, here's my current understanding concerning this matter. The day we catch a glimpse out the corner of our eye that our suffering is actually pointing to us the way "out", is the day everything changes.

CD7
15th November 2012, 01:13
Well lets see...cancer is the result of one's own cells attacking itself. We are all cells of the one body, as you can see, we attack our own cells...perhaps when we stop doing this...suffering will fade away?

CrabbyPatty
15th November 2012, 01:38
I am afraid that I may not be able to love my partner like he deserves, even though I am in love with him and do love him. It isn't deep enough like it should be. I feel like I have so much self-healing to do in order to open up my heart, and I don't know how to tell him that he can't help me with that.

Daughter of Time
15th November 2012, 01:57
INJUSTICE!

There's so much injustice on this planet.

I cannot ignore it, so it hurts me.

Carolin
15th November 2012, 03:11
My expectations, attachments and not accepting what is! I'm a pain in my own a$$
Great question Pie

Tony
15th November 2012, 09:17
Noticing suffering is not as easy as we think. The word suffering, is just a word for 'being' not happy.
We tend to think, “Well, I'm not unhappy all the time, so I'm not suffering all the time.”

Maybe we just do not notice our suffering?
We also tend to think, “Well, one cannot be happy all the time!”

That is exactly the point, our true nature 'is' happiness, it is there all the time. Once we acknowledge and recognise this, we realise that anything that distracts us from our true nature, is causing some sort of suffering, on some level.

The object is not to eliminate the suffering, just recognise it. This recognition then serves as a reminder, that we have moved away from our true nature, and because we are still mainly stuck in consciousness (mind) we have to accept that this is our state at the moment.

When it is said, “Suffering of some sort of level,” we might think that if I do not notice it, it is not happening...not so. Suffering can be on a very subtle hardly noticed level.
Equally the more sensitive we get the more we notice suffering...especially in others.

We sometimes get caught in the trap of thinking, “Well I'm all right, so everything is alright.”
Well, it may be alright for you (at this moment) but not for others.

This brings us to compassion, we quite often argue with others, and do not note their suffering.

So suffering is when we move out of essence, into the mind or the physical, and as this is part of being sentient we just have to accept it, but not make a big deal of it. It is a bitter sweet relationship we go through, a sort of joy and sadness, it's the way things are while we are here.

We only have to look to see all this for ourselves. We are not totally at ease (resting in inner peace) all the time. This 'being' not at ease to a 'sensitive' will be called suffering.

That 'sensitive' will look for the cause of this suffering.
Then that 'sensitive will want find a way to do something about suffering.
Finally the 'sensitive' will do something about that suffering.

So the next question would be: What are you going to do about this suffering, if you notice it?
But first one has to recognise one 'is' suffering, to be able to 'want' to do something about that suffering. Then one has to understand the cause of that suffering.

Remember, everyone who is sentient is suffering, as we are not enlightened...yet!

The whole process is going from the very coarse to coarse to refined to very refined to …....!

This is something one can observe for oneself.

1. We can recognising suffering.
2. We can recognising the cause of suffering.
3. We can recognising a path away from suffering.
4. We can treading that path.






Tony

Tony
15th November 2012, 09:53
I am afraid that I may not be able to love my partner like he deserves, even though I am in love with him and do love him. It isn't deep enough like it should be. I feel like I have so much self-healing to do in order to open up my heart, and I don't know how to tell him that he can't help me with that.


Dear Patty,

This is truly heart felt and sincere.
We all carry some sort of wound from the past, and this needs space and kindness for healing to take place. Stuff builds up inside us, and we hang onto it and it has to be released- set free. You can either just drop the past, or get your partner to open up, into how they feel about things. This may create some kind space for you both. Sometimes nothing needs to be said, just the acceptance of empathy.

I think 'love' is made a too bigger deal of in this world, empathy and friendship are much more workable! Now LOVE, the real things, is totally generous, totally tolerant, totally understanding, totally uninvolved....and totally caring.



LOVE,
Tony



PS. Love is also totally challenging, the "I" has to drop dead!

778 neighbour of some guy
15th November 2012, 10:09
The cause of my suffering is a friend with an addiction. I know I am powerless to heal her and I know I need to distance myself from her but I feel like I am judging her and I guess I am. Judgment is causing my suffering.

You distancing yourself from your friend might very well be the the thing that makes the lightbulb go ON with your friend wich in turn might just heal her, coming to the conclusion that someone is not doing the best thing possible for themselves is not perse judgement, it can also be just a cigar, just my based on experience conclusion.

Conciously creating some distance changes the perspective of all involved parties imo, and can be an act of great compassion although it might not feel that way at that moment :(.

Tony
16th November 2012, 08:40
The recognition of suffering is the key to everything.

Suffering ('being' not quite happy) produces negative emotions, which maintains our suffering.
These emotions surround our 'being' and keep us distracted...keep us from knowing our true nature.

We are pure 'being'...looking through a filter of concepts and emotions at....an outer world, that we may or may not like. This pure 'being' does not make judgements about concepts, emotions and the outside world, it merely reflects clarity...and creates space.

However because we have gathered around ourselves, a collection of concepts and emotions, and a mental “I” was created. The mental “I” which Essence now identified with, judges the outer world, wants it this way or that way, finds it cannot do anything about it and therefore suffers and blames.

If we say, “I do not suffer” that merely means we love our slavery to our ideas (concepts) and to the world around us, which are all temporary events. We just do not notice our distraction.

The cause of suffering is the identification with our ideas and emotions, another name for this is ego or “I”. We cling to our ideas. There is no point blaming the outside world, as it too is confused about its true identity! We actually surround our real selves (Essence) with limitations.

If there is a New World Order, isn't this a perfect way to control people?
Using naturally occurring events!

The key is recognising suffering, then we can do something about it!

crosby
16th November 2012, 08:52
hi Pie. i have lost several people, and a dear pet in the last six months. this makes me very sad. i feel lost without them here. i am angry and sad at the moment. i have left my pillow and i am now in a state of confusion. i thought they would all be with me until the end, or my end. this is very hard for me. i just can't accept what has happened. i am trying. but this is my suffering, right now. thank you for listening.
love and warmest regards, kim

Tony
16th November 2012, 09:10
hi Pie. i have lost several people, and a dear pet in the last six months. this makes me very sad. i feel lost without them here. i am angry and sad at the moment. i have left my pillow and i am now in a state of confusion. i thought they would all be with me until the end, or my end. this is very hard for me. i just can't accept what has happened. i am trying. but this is my suffering, right now. thank you for listening.
love and warmest regards, kim



Love hurts! The things that bring us joy, ends up causing pain...and still we love. That reveals a good heart, and that love will continue to work for those loved ones who 'seem' to have gone. Time and space are no barrier to love!

All thing must pass...

2vW867TrVHA




Love,
Tony

Violet
16th November 2012, 09:20
What is the cause of your suffering, unhappiness or feeling of being ill at ease?

Negative grumpy people around me that I can't simply DEL.

crosby
16th November 2012, 09:25
Thank You Pie. George Harrison is wonderful. my favorite Beatle. always has been...... kinda like me....lol......so you prompted me to upload another video by george. and you are right, love does hurt. makes me not want to love anyone any more. but that isn't possible. i have a truck load of kids and an ailing mother..... and a fiance. but, things are different now. i hope i can accept that. i am looking for my pillow.... thank you. you do not know how much your words have helped me.

UaY7TwMBHuc

love and tremendous warmth to you and tarka.
kim

Tony
16th November 2012, 09:38
Thank You Pie. George Harrison is wonderful. my favorite Beatle. always has been...... kinda like me....lol......so you prompted me to upload another video by george. and you are right, love does hurt. makes me not want to love anyone any more. but that isn't possible. i have a truck load of kids and an ailing mother..... and a fiance. but, things are different now. i hope i can accept that. i am looking for my pillow.... thank you. you do not know how much your words have helped me.

UaY7TwMBHuc

love and tremendous warmth to you and tarka.
kim





"Sometimes we need a good cry, and enjoy it"

Lancelot
16th November 2012, 09:45
What is the cause of your suffering, unhappiness or feeling of being ill at ease?

The Mrs....

Lancelot
16th November 2012, 09:55
Seriously though, what really makes me feel unhappy and ill at ease is the general apathy of people to just accept the status quo and not question whats going on. Even when shown the evidence and a glimpse of the truth they retreat back into a defensive place of fear and denial. This makes me unhappy more than anything else.

Tony
16th November 2012, 10:10
Seriously though, what really makes me feel unhappy and ill at ease is the general apathy of people to just accept the status quo and not question whats going on. Even when shown the evidence and a glimpse of the truth they retreat back into a defensive place of fear and denial. This makes me unhappy more than anything else.




I'm with you "Batman"! What you say also shows love, it goes with the territory of waking up.



Yours,
Tony

Chip
16th November 2012, 10:30
I suffer whenever I "forget". I forget less now, so I don't suffer much.
These are examples of my "forgets"
- walk past something beautiful and don't take notice
- reacting to dogmatic and karmic forces that keeps the wheel turning instead of letting go and becoming the creator
- whenever I lose feeling for another being and their situation (good or bad)
- I often feel helpless due to forgetting that I am more than my physical body
- whenever I forget to love all.
This could go on much further but the "sense" is usually more important than by the limitations of words.