Feeling a bit low today...

[Ammit]

Hi all, feeling a bit low today because of an incidence which happened at work, am I just being stupid to bother about this:::

I work for a sheltered housing scheme, and when I arrived at one of my schemes, found my deputy supervisor and a tenant talking in the main office.

As I entered this tenant said " oh, here's fatty ", my deputy supervisor burst out laughing, I was so taken aback by this behaviour that I left without even giving a response to the tenant. I went outside and waited for them to finish while having a smoke in my car.

The supervisor left the building and came to my car to chat, I was polite but made it obvious that I was neither impressed or happy.

She got into her car and left.

Now, I feel let down by a superior I did have respect for.:(



Comment welcome

Ammit

[NewFounderHome]

Sadly there is folks like that!

[Laurel]

Dear Ammit,
Please know that this is their own issues, lack of confidence, lack of self-respect, and own inner junk which makes them say such disrespectful things. I know it is hurtful, but please don't let their personal garbage effect you.

You are perfect just the way you are. :hug:

[Ammit]

Thanks.. I am more upset I think knowing the supervisor thought it was so funny rather then acting on it as a verbal insult to her staff.

[kaon]

You shouldn't be feeling low over this. It is your supervisor who should be feeling low. If not, that's her character flaw, not yours.

I work in an extremely hostile environment and could tell some stories that would either make you laugh or cry, or both. I went through all of the emotions already, so I understand where you are coming from.

If your supervisor had earned your respect, then you have the right to withdraw it. Don't retaliate but don't forget.

[Peace of Mind]

This is only as serious as you make it. If I were you I’d make it my business to forgive them. Ignorance is bliss and we all partake in it one way or another. We all want to be forgiving for our ineptitude and foolishness, give those who have hurt you a moment to reflect and the opportunity to make it up to you. Many of us often over look how easy it is to hurt someone else’s feelings. Why? Because we are conditioned to find enjoyment in other people’s pain.

Know the people you have to interact with and deal with them accordingly. Never feed devious antics, you’ll only degrade your status and potentially place yourself in a situation you never wanted to be in. Love yourself more and you will start feeling and looking better…. In the least, the thoughtless negative comments will start to have little to no effect on you. Stay away from negative energies, sometimes situations like this arise just to test you. If you know better you have to be better by not stooping down to their level.... pull them up to yours.

Peace

[Lettherebelight]

Hi Ammit, my Dear old Dad always says, "Don't waste your time with a##holes.'

Sagely advice, but unfortunately, sometimes we are forced by circumstance to work with them, worse still, if you have to work under them. So I extend heartfelt commiserations to you on this one!

I would definitely make a note of the incident (writing things down helps release negative emotions)...(I guess that's what you are doing here!). Record the date, context of the conversation, and any impact it had on your work performance.

There is a fine line between over-familiarity and bullying. Lets make sure it doesn't happen again.

[Youniverse]

Hi all, feeling a bit low today because of an incidence which happened at work, am I just being stupid to bother about this:::

I work for a sheltered housing scheme, and when I arrived at one of my schemes, found my deputy supervisor and a tenant talking in the main office.

As I entered this tenant said " oh, here's fatty ", my deputy supervisor burst out laughing, I was so taken aback by this behaviour that I left without even giving a response to the tenant. I went outside and waited for them to finish while having a smoke in my car.

The supervisor left the building and came to my car to chat, I was polite but made it obvious that I was neither impressed or happy.

She got into her car and left.

Now, I feel let down by a superior I did have respect for.:(



Comment welcome

Ammit

You should let anyone know that speaks to you in that way, how it makes you feel and that it is disrespectful and unkind. Do so in the most controlled yet strong manner and leave it at that. The rest is up to the other person/s. If he/she laughs in your face or says something rude it speaks volumes about her/his character in a negative way. Another thing you could ask your supervisor or tenant is, "I can lose some weight, but can you lose the unkind or rude attitude?" Both will take effort. Maybe the weight is the easier one to accomplish?

[sandy]

Dear Ammit,

Bullying still happens even as adults and I too would have been even more affected by my supervisors unspoken participation in this bullying.

What saddens me even more is your walking away from the bullying and not standing up for your worth as a person.............your love of self and belief in your worth is the most valuable attribute to fend off such ignorance and bullying from those who seek to demean others.

Take Care of You Ammit, You are of Worth and I Value and enjoy your posts from the last several years as well. :hug:

[Flash]

this is definitely irrespectful, as thousands of people are on daily basis, not even realising they were.

If you supervisor is inherently a good person, why not adressing this with her, in a cool, calm fashion, explaining how it negatively touched you, and asking her to help you no feel rejected or inadequate in the working environment. If she not genuinely empathic, dont't say anything.

In any circumstances, the way to take it also makes a lot of difference. They most probably were stupid but not real despising.

I personnally would have answered, after a few seconds of shock, "I love my cushions, very comfortable (provoking accepantce)" "oh, you have noticed (making feel shame)" or "I did not know this was sooo important to you guys (here, a sarcastic comment not necessarily giving positive result, because it contains judgments).

This is my opinion, do what you want with it.

[Grumpy Cat]

This says more about them than it ever could about you. They obviously have their own problems which they're trying to redirect on to you.

Don't let the bastards grind you down! :D

[Ammit]

Thank you for all your comments, I have gotten some relief telling what I class as family.


Dear Ammit,

Bullying still happens even as adults and I too would have been even more affected by my supervisors unspoken participation in this bullying.

What saddens me even more is your walking away from the bullying and not standing up for your worth as a person.............your love of self and belief in your worth is the most valuable attribute to fend off such ignorance and bullying from those who seek to demean others.

Take Care of You Ammit, You are of Worth and I Value and enjoy your posts from the last several years as well. :hug:

I walked away simply to save the job I have as if I had responded to my supervisor as I wanted to then I would probably be saying " out of work because" . The tenant is within the sheltered housing scheme for a reason and besides, I have been called worse by better. Its not what was said by the tenant more the lack of support from my senior...

[ulli]

After leaving England I noticed that this was something particularly British, as it didn't happen as much in Barbados, and not at all here in Costa Rica.
If they use insulting language it is done so lovingly, that one cannot get upset. But then there are other cultural problems here to get used to...mostly to do with dishonesty.
In Britain the tests are to rise above ego, and just see yourself as others see you, not as you wish to see yourself.
As someone born in Germany I got endless insults thrown at me with people shouting Heil Hitler when I arrived at work.
I was expected to take a joke, which I did, until after a while it became rather tedious. But it's deep in the culture to challenge people in jest, and quite a bit rubbed off on me.
You just have to check yourself, and find out if in other situations you haven't done something like that yourself.
We can only control what we do, not what others do to us. The more I wish for people to respect me the less respect I receive.
Funny how that works.

[161803398]

As someone born in Germany I got endless insults thrown at me with people shouting Heil Hitler when I arrived at work.

General Patton told his wife that the Germans were the best race in Europe. Remember that. Obviously he never went to Ireland, but, oh well...

[Kindling]

Dear Ammit,
Please know that this is their own issues, lack of confidence, lack of self-respect, and own inner junk which makes them say such disrespectful things. I know it is hurtful, but please don't let their personal garbage effect you.

You are perfect just the way you are. :hug:


Dear Ammit,

Bullying still happens even as adults and I too would have been even more affected by my supervisors unspoken participation in this bullying.

What saddens me even more is your walking away from the bullying and not standing up for your worth as a person.............your love of self and belief in your worth is the most valuable attribute to fend off such ignorance and bullying from those who seek to demean others.

Take Care of You Ammit, You are of Worth and I Value and enjoy your posts from the last several years as well. :hug:

Hugs from me, too Ammit. So sorry you were treated that way. Would have hurt my feelings too, sheesh, :boxing:. You are beautiful and perfect just exactly the way you are. Maybe the best thing would be to make sure *they know* that *you know* that.

[GloriousPoetry]

Unprofessional behavior by your supervisor....find someone higher than her and document the incident. Expose her for what she is, unprofessional at work which gets in the way of productive work.

[161803398]

Feeling low over insults is the same as if someone just threw a dart at you: You feel low for a time if you dont pick up the dart and throw it back. If you can do that..you end up in a fun energizing game of tennis. If you dont you get low sooner or later and stay that way until you raise your energy again...like healing from a wound. Throwing darts back in situations like this can be important. I remember some people i knew were calling a friend of mine Mr. Nagasaki because he is Japanese. He told them to just remember he celebrated Pearl Harbour day. Both sides were joking but thats the quickest way to deal with darts.

I would be hesitant to report someone over a stupid remark. They were being stupid. But you could say something like: how many people have called you an asshole........ im not calling you an asshole....... but Id like to know how many other people think you are an asshole. That approach confuses short term and then gets their brain cells operating sufficiently for you to get your point across. Id say youll get an apology after that.

[smithersjones]

Ammit,
Seriously mate we will all have days like that as we walk along the "pathway of life".
Dont let it get to you, or bother you.
You have much more in life to spend your time on than worry about "them"

I used to react in a similar way that you have done, so i do understand how you are feeling, however i quickly realized that the only person that was being affected by this was me?

By the replies you have got from the other members of this forum, no-one here thinks of you in such a way, and it is shown ..you have many friends here!

And as the old saying goes: " You Cant please All The people ALL the time"
Other than your desire to keep your job, (i respect that immensely) there is nothing that these two people have that you either need or want!

You are a far better person than either of them could EVER be.

Head up Ammit & Smile, they are simply not worth wasting you time on mate.
Take care

[Simonm]

This says more about them than it ever could about you. They obviously have their own problems which they're trying to redirect on to you.

Don't let the bastards grind you down! :D

Exactly what I was going to write.

[Sidney]

People are SO mean. You really are perfect just the way you are. Shame on that inferior "superior". That person has some major issues, stand tall, and know that you are the superior one my friend. Hugs

[Lifebringer]

It's called back stabbing or back biting. Talking behind one's back. The supervisor probably didn't realize this tenant was gonna call you that and if she turned red realized she was back biting to get the sale. I think that if you are successful and it's a good job, leave it alone, and realize "fake byches usually talk behind ones back to feel more superior" Sorry bout the street slang for a "poser" but it appears you probably were respecting her, when there was no need. If that is her way, you're probably the only one to give her the time that makes her feel big. Like I said you have a choice. You can apply elsewhere if looking in her lying face, takes you out of your feel good, or you can ignore her advances to get close, until she apologizes. If she makes the repentance for urging this jerk on, th3en remorse will comethrough as a "about the other day, when that jerk disrespected you to your face, i don't agree with him and wish I didn't just let him get away with it, I needed the commission. Sometimes you have to have patience, but if after a month or two, it hasn't change, then put some feelers out, and leave the job for some people that respect you as a human, not a glorified barbie doll.

[DeDukshyn]

Thanks.. I am more upset I think knowing the supervisor thought it was so funny rather then acting on it as a verbal insult to her staff.

It's more likely that the supervisor was laughing, not as much at any "fatness", but the crassness of the tenant. Don't take it too hard, I have been called many things in my life, and every time I take it in stride, I move myself up on my own confidence scale. Try just doing that and putting their silly disrespect behind you.

My 2 cents ;)

[Mike]

i've always enjoyed reading your posts Ammit. i think you're wonderful!;)

p.s. shall i punch them in the nose for you?;)

[ulli]

As someone born in Germany I got endless insults thrown at me with people shouting Heil Hitler when I arrived at work.

General Patton told his wife that the Germans were the best race in Europe. Remember that. Obviously he never went to Ireland, but, oh well...

Sorry if off-topic, but Gurdjieff said that the British were the most intelligent people on the planet,
which goes to show how low the human race still is.

[Bassplayer1]

Hello Ammit, I'm sorry to hear you're upset.
I know that you already know this yourself, but I'll say it anyway ... When people come out with hurtful comments like this,or laugh at others expense,well, what does it say about them? What's going on inside them? What progress are they making towards the Light? I'm sure it wasn't meant spitefully ... probably in some bizarre, weird way they thought it was some kind of affectionate banter perhaps? I've also observed in the work place how many people laugh at others unkind jokes - not because they find it funny as such but because they haven't the strength or confidence to speak against this kind of behaviour. People laugh because they're too anxious about not fitting in or if they don't laugh, then the joke could be turned on them. Does this make sense? I'm NOT making excuses for the tenant and supervisor's behaviour, just pointing out where they need to give some attention and reflection. It has always surprised me how many people in the work place lack awareness or the ability to communicate respectfully and maturely. Anyway, you're lovely .... they've clearly got a lot of catching up to do ... and if possible, try not to let this upset you anymore ... you mustn't let others lower your vibration with their thoughtless immaturity.
I'm lucky that I'm feeling very well today, with lots of energy, so I'm hoping that I can project some out to you to lift your spirits. You take care. xx

[ghostrider]

my friend , when people like that say things, they are projecting, THEY have issues and rather than deal with them , they project their fear on someone else... you are one of us. Everyone here will stand with you. When you see your supervisor that didn't stand up for you, Me I would say I can't believe your wearing those shoes with that, and walk outside and fall down on the grass laughing at her like a child .. trust me , it will do more mental damage than you think...

[provolon]

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