View Full Version : Open apology to Ray

30th January 2013, 12:00
Dear Ray, you know by now my intentions. Perhaps you have met with me in the astral. Likely you may know me even more than I know myself.

Unfortunately for you and others, I seem to achieve an ability to rip through the perceived paradigms of others and in my process I expose questionable areas.

At the end of the day, I may be the last man standing and thus be the last (and only) questioner - a terribly lonely place at that.

It is now my current conclusion that despite my "good intentions" it is probably best I get serious about my own inner work (if I can so do).

You once advised me that these forums can be "infective." What concerns me is that at times I appear to be the deliverer of infections but I can never see that until after the fact, after the damage has been done.

Of course, I also wondered why you have frequented so many of these forums and especially Avalon which seems to contradict your own advice.

So again, another question - but not a question I am prompting you to answer because the question is better directed at myself.

So here is my answer to my own question.

I joined this forum (the only forum of this nature I ever actively joined and within which participated) for the following reasons and in this order.

Reason 1 - I believed I had something to contribute.

Reason 2 - I believed that if I proved Reason 1 well enough to myself, perhaps I could move into another direction in my life that may also lead to my ability to support myself as a secondary consequence.

Reason 3 - This came clear to me after I began to read and write posts which was that my participation was tremendously healing.

Reason 4 - Discovered after several weeks of participation that I had the opportunity to learn so much about our world(s) that I had never imagined possible.

Reason 5 - That I might not have to be so lonely.

So, within these reasons is the most driving (inner) motivation which is that I somehow figure all this out such that I can "help others" escape their prisons. This is the truest manifestation of a savior complex and as one can imagine and which, most likely, could make me the very most difficult prison guard for the rest of humanity might have to deal with.

Its funny how seeking the truth, if one does so earnestly, so often leads one to the reality their greatest fear has become manifest.

I have no doubt your experiences are very real. I also have no doubt the "complex" which you are adept at exploring exists as much as anything else might exist and within which you have traveled far and the "teachers" you have encountered are indeed "masters."

This dynamic you write about may be the "real one" - the "true" one in this container within which all of "us" Spirit beings (and others) share.

I really don't know.

Let's see where all this goes.

Kind Regards

30th January 2013, 17:26
Dear Chester
First let me just say that Avalon is the only forum I have ever joined. I have posted on a few blogs and YouTube here and there but they are just passing casual occasions. I also make an effort to have breaks in frequenting Avalon. I joined Avalon because I was led here as I have been led to various strange places most of my life for some reason or other. I enjoy Avalon as the subjects interest me and if I can post some information which would be of benefit to someone then all well and good.
I am not trying to influence anyone or make anyone see me in any special way.
My life has been more than challenging and I come from a poor family although we were not poor in spirit. I am fortunate to have met such wonderful people as are here at Avalon and post when I feel I can be helpful.

My life is also a very happy one and I enjoy giving my time and effort to less fortunate people than myself. I work with the elderly and also destitute children and actively assist some in acquiring some skills to further their careers.

It was for me an honor and a pleasure when you approached me some time ago and I tried to give you all my attention when we conversed. I have been fortunate that I am also able to assist in this world in places, like the Astral, which others may not yet have, or are just not aware of. This part of my life together with my connection with some beautiful Beings in other realms has taught me many things and I reserve this knowledge for those who may understand...as it is not always easy for me to give out this information when so many find it just too hard to accept now.

I am quite aware of the many depths of the human mind and where these may lead, and I also am of the opinion that many need this dark side for their own growth despite the seeming horror and evil which is evident in the world. I have been in places which may, to some people, seem like hell as part of my experiences and have come out knowing more and with more confidence than before. While we are experiencing these dark places and forces everything is as real as washing dishes and the real test in the end will be how much our lives have been effected by our experience be it positively or negatively. We can choose to see these experiences in any way we desire but like the old story of climbing the mountain...when we get to the top we can see a far better view of the path we might have taken had we known a bit more.

I have for many years now lost the ability to see good and bad and see only opportunity and choices. I love all Beings and see them as part of me and that includes you Chester and my door is forever open to you and anyone.

I thank you for this special thread and your post and feel unworthy of the attention it may bring me here on this forum.

Love to you

30th January 2013, 17:42
Thank you, Ray... Chester

30th January 2013, 18:19
Sending Love out to Chester and Ray.