When going your own way gets too lonely...

[Metaphor]

I need your support.

perhaps youve been there...

Still is there?

The feeling of being so lonely with your loved ones. This is when going "your own way" is going tough.
When the gap between you are miles wide, but not in your heart... only in world view.

I can´t even listen to the news on the radio, in the news or the papers without being upset over all the lies and obvoius mismanagment/disinformation of this planet. Its even harder to have loved ones or colluages/relatives that are still defending the system or whatever they have been fed with being "the proper way of thinking".
I really feel right now that it was more demanding that I could ever imagine to walk this path, but of course the only decent way since this is the way my heart told me to go. I have always felt like the black sheep or against the stream. Funnily enough, or perhaps more paradoxal is that I have also felt that that there is some kind of admiration for me being persistent in my pursue of my own goals.

But the lonelineness.
I could never imagined how that could be like. Well somehow perhaps I could, because I never felt really included or invited to soceity anyway.

I have a lovely wife and wonderful kids, but the lack of a place in life, perhaps that could be compared to a tribe or family has always been far away. But in my heart there has always been a song that has kept me reminded that there is a home "somewhere" but still unknown to me.


How do you do it? Do you feel the same?
... Right now I feel like a desert island tossed out somewhere.

Much love to you all... My dear avalonians.

[andrewgreen]

I know what your saying but the love for you family is more powerful than anything.

[scanner]

You cannot expect others to be as open as you are . It is a lonely place to be , all you can do is love you family . Don't force any of your knowledge on others , drop seeds so they can flower later . Be strong they need you , it's a difficult I know, I lost many family and friends over this . Be LOVE ,

[greybeard]

Yes on the face of it I have people I care about and who care about me---- yet!!!
There is a certain emptiness.

Adyashanti an excellent spiritual teacher has given talks on this.

Its not to be avoided or suppressed but accepted, is the suggestion.
With me it comes and goes.
As spiritual progress happened my needs wants and desires just fell away---most times I dont require company --when it happens, I welcome it, enjoy it, but I dont miss it when its not there--- at least most of the time.

Seems its part of the evolution of the consciousness--- mini dark nights of the soul.
The flat periods im assured does eventually go---I never sent more in one day to cope with than I can handle.
Seems its normal part of the spiritual process.
Its surrender surrender accept.

A new book by the late Dr Hawkins covers the process---just finished before he died.

http://www.veritaspub.com/product_info.php?products_id=1042

There are a lot of videos and shared advice here. http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?860-Enlightenment-The-Ego-what-is-it-How-to-transcend-it.&p=7764&viewfull=1#post7764

Chris

[Arrowwind]

I understand. Ive always been a black sheep in every endeavor in life. I learned how to make myself look like a white sheep when necessary. Really there is nothing like family. I hope you have support there.

You might want to consider joining organizations that think like you do or actually moving to a different local where there are more similar thinking people. Its important to have friends that view the world as you do for many reasons. It can be very lonely in a city and people often refuse to open to one another. Political correctness rules and that separates people and we should endeavor to have real relationships.

[Metaphor]

Thanks for the quick response! Just in time for bedtime (its almost midnight here) I´ll digest this and respond later on.
Like you sais Chris, "mini dark nights of the soul"... Spot on.

[golden lady]

Dearest Metaphor
You are not alone in this. I too have no one to share my views with. My husband and family think I'm bonkers.
The trouble is, it permeates every aspect of our lives. There really is no subject it doesn't touch. It certainly is a lonely path. I find myself having to bite my lip, others seem to be so defensive. I don't blame them. I truly hope hope Im going to be proved wrong.
The only way I cope is by almost living two lives, but there is no turning back. Avalon is my sanctuary and I'm very grateful for that.
Love and peace to you.

[Fred Steeves]

Funny thing is, when we simply allow certain parts of our lives to die their natural death, and don't fight to keep them on artificial life support, other parts spring to life. Better and deeper parts.

We're never ever alone.

[lookbeyond]

All great replies above and a good topic you brought up Metaphor, this will also help others (me included).I can relate to all replies, as having always been the proverbial black sheep.I am at times quite comfortable with my misfitness, at other times it becomes too much and i want to go home.I do try to comfort myself with the thought that maybe i planned it all to learn some lessons and most recently have been investigating ho,oponopono and releasing(for instant relief).I also look forward to at least one (or more!) doses of Avalon a day which is a great balm though beware of rabbit holes, you might break an ankle which will slow you down for a while- i guess for me, despite it all- there simply is no going back- and yes sometimes i hav missed sweet oblivion,
Take Care ( oh i forgot to mention,sometimes when i read a post that i really connect to/appreciate i will drop a line to that person,and you never know someone might visit you back-even tho its not the same as a personal visit, its heartwarming to log on and see u hav a message!)

lookbeyond

[jjjones]

all growth and learning experiences happen when the time is right for one. just accept things as they come around. when one expects they are just rising to fall because their emotions are really flammable when ignited by disappointment,anger, depression, loneliness, / any negative thought or action pushes one off balance. there are many passengers on the ship riding the harsh waves with you and there are those who have experienced this feeling of being out on a limb all alone. remember nobody is totally alone and at the 11th hour one is turned around and someone is there for you. just relax and know that you have a family on pa that understands, cares and is there for you when you need to "vent"! take care & thank you for your thread and thank you to all who have replied. all of you are great teachers! namaste, peace & love universally :)

[DeDukshyn]

I just got used to it. I'm ok with being different, and alone, and seeing the world of insanity for what it is, and trying my best to live in the world but not base myself from this world. Not the easiest thing to do when everyone else seems like a brainwashed hypno-robot -- and I'm not just talking about understanding the truth about current affairs, I'm saying there is a disease in the minds of men, with or without the current situation it is there ... in almost everyone, I can even see it in myself, but can know that it is not me.

It's frustrating, no one knows the frustrations I have endured -- I see a world that could be easy, yet everyone makes it so hard without realizing ...

So I've accepted myself as a renegade drifter of sorts, and I'm ok with that. The main thing is to try not to let my personal integrity get compromised.

Miguel Ruiz' Four Agreements is a good place to cement in one's integrity:

1) Take Nothing Personally
2) Never Make any Assumptions (whatsoever if possible)
3) Always do Your Best (and know your "best" is a bit of a variable)
4) Be impeccable with your word (say exactly what you mean and mean exactly what you say - reduce others' misunderstandings in you)

My 2 cents ;)

I know quite a lot of people who are going through this right now ...

Good luck!

[ghostrider]

every now and then I watch a george carlin vid , or another comedian that I think is funny, a sense of humor can do wonders for that lonely spirit that clouds up your sunny day ... even when it's cloudy, if you go high enough there is still sunshine up there you just can't see it , humor is powerful , what is it they say, life is but a dream ... why not laugh when you can ... brother you are far from alone, you have people all over the planet , whom in a moments notice will close their eyes and focus love and send it right to you wrapped in bow, with a smile and a hug and tie a knot and hang in there , we will overcome , why ? because we've done this for millions of lifetimes and we are still here ...member morpheus' speech in the cave , AFTER ALL THEY HAVE DONE = WE ARE STILL HERE ... chin up brother ...

[greybeard]

Loneliness an Adyashanti audio on the subject

Chris


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFToNIhliWE

[Operator]

I need your support.

perhaps youve been there...


yes, you bet ... I've even lived 2 years separated from my wife and kids.
But see it as a chance to grow. I think that we first have to accept that less open minded people with
a more mainstream based worldview are still worth our time. If you really want to be STO then learn to
sacrifice. Your love for others is more important than being right.

[GarethBKK]

You have already received sage advice. I would add one more suggestion: The Sacred Circle (http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?55216-The-Sacred-Circle) is always open, full of energy to help you recharge. Feel the love :-)

[jackovesk]

I need your support.

perhaps youve been there...

Still is there?

The feeling of being so lonely with your loved ones. This is when going "your own way" is going tough.
When the gap between you are miles wide, but not in your heart... only in world view.

I can´t even listen to the news on the radio, in the news or the papers without being upset over all the lies and obvoius mismanagment/disinformation of this planet. Its even harder to have loved ones or colluages/relatives that are still defending the system or whatever they have been fed with being "the proper way of thinking".
I really feel right now that it was more demanding that I could ever imagine to walk this path, but of course the only decent way since this is the way my heart told me to go. I have always felt like the black sheep or against the stream. Funnily enough, or perhaps more paradoxal is that I have also felt that that there is some kind of admiration for me being persistent in my pursue of my own goals.

But the lonelineness.
I could never imagined how that could be like. Well somehow perhaps I could, because I never felt really included or invited to soceity anyway.

I have a lovely wife and wonderful kids, but the lack of a place in life, perhaps that could be compared to a tribe or family has always been far away. But in my heart there has always been a song that has kept me reminded that there is a home "somewhere" but still unknown to me.


How do you do it? Do you feel the same?
... Right now I feel like a desert island tossed out somewhere.

Much love to you all... My dear avalonians.

Looking 'Deep Within'...


Question: "What 'drove' you to post this thread..?"

...then you will have the 'Answer'...:yes4:

[markpierre]

That sense of intellectual isolation is common, and I think a very useful component of the changes that are occurring. It's helpful, and simply practical to
not get too caught up in the disturbing things around you, as much as the disturbance that you experience in your thinking and in your body.
Lining up with the truth in a world that's predicated on deception is difficult.
Anxiety, depression, acute loneliness, even mental confusion, are not problems, but an effect of changes that are occurring factually in you.

Higher sensitivity, hyper-vigilance, a more critical reasoning process, all really good signs of you forming the new neural pathways needed to function
in a new environment. A world predicated on the facts as they are is a completely different paradigm in itself. A world where self-responsibility is a given,
and more inclusive and very different social/family responsibilities are required. Lazy minds will struggle with simple ideas like responsibility.

Zap anyone you know into a day in the life of a neolithic hunter, or mother. How would they do? They'd need time to learn and adapt and change. I don't
mean that we're reverting to the stone age, I mean the fundamental baseline premise for existence is changing. Simply because it has to. It's time.
So give yourself credit for what you're able to see. For being the example of responsibility. A sleeping part of your mind is aroused, and the next stage is awakening.
It's a lot bigger than you suspect. And so is the reward.

How I address loneliness? I was forced into a situation where isolation is a benefit. 'Protective isolation' is an accurate way to describe it. And because I've always
at least superficially had people around me that appreciated and supported me (as long as I was useful to them) I struggle in isolation sometimes,
though I also relish it.
The drama that I have to contend with is purely and exclusively my own. I don't have to figure out who it is that has the 'issues'. But when I get lonely,
I just get as lonely as I possibly can. Drag in all of the loneliness that I can remember and pretend it will always be that way.
I want to know 'how deep does this go?' And it's not that deep. I've changed it's purpose, and so it's not a threatening experience.

When I'm not up for that, I find a place where there are people, and I remain aloof. I use memory to open my heart, and I stay in that as much as possible.
It really doesn't matter how I join in or participate. I know who I am. If I'm successful at that, like minds come to me.
And the mindless chatter that most humans use to avoid acknowledging the insanity and destruction around them, seldom shows up with them.
Humor is a help. My favorite is irony.

That's me. That's my take on it. We can call it a problem, but not one that needs fixing because the outcome is the solution, and the outcome is a surprise.
Play with those ideas, or not. But I wish you the very best, and do remember that you're not alone.

Kind regards

[norman]

........Higher sensitivity, hyper-vigilance, a more critical reasoning process, all really good signs of you forming the new neural pathways needed to function
in a new environment..........



All perfectly good. The only problem is the realization that who you thought were stayers, in your life, are not.

That's a hell of a downer, I know, I've really been there. I spent a while in 'hospital' due to that very thing. It wasn't the stuff I was finding out about the truth of things that put me there ( although it was tough enough ), it was the gulf that opened up between me and the people I took for granted and expected to be there for me. They, in various ways, flaked away from me and left me "on my own" for the first time in my life.

Now that I've had a while to get used to being 'on my own', I'm actually glad it's turned out this way.

[westhill]

Forging your own road is the hard and necessary work. It is lonely, yep! but there is no going back.
My kids actually worry about me. I find it too funny as I worry about them. I posted this video
for 9eagle9 a while back. Worth a repeat.

LqvmARf2UHw

[Sidney]

I have been there!! You are right, it is very isolating. And lonely, and many times I thing I wish I didn't know. But its not like you can forget. It's hard. But you have my support, and we all are here for the same reasons. Two words,,,,,, like minded. : )

[grannyfranny100]

Check out a Unitarian Universalist Fellowship in your area. I recently moved and am so happy there (no dogma). Members are activists doing good works of their chosing and in that process, one loses obsessive preoccupation with self.

There are seven principles which Unitarian Universalist's affirm and promote which are easy to accept:

The inherent worth and dignity of every person;
Justice, equity and compassion in human relations;
Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations;
A free and responsible search for truth and meaning;
The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large;
The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all;
Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.

[shadowstalker]

I have my blood family (who think I'm nuts)
I have the forum family ( who think I'm kewl)
I have my adoptive family (friends) (who think I am both)

And I love them all and they love me back

[Daughter of Time]

Sometimes the status quo has to be renounced.

Following the crowd can be meaningless and empty.

When feeling lonely, find the inner strength which has always been there.

Be yourself and respect yourself and you'll become your best friend instead of your worst enemy.

With love,

Daughter of Time

[Mulder]

Well, there's no easy answer Metaphor because you can't "unknow" the truth. Everyone goes through low-points and "dark nights" in their lives, so we all experience it.

My humble advice is NOT to argue or discuss these issues with "unawake" people. Just keep everything to yourself and don't scare all your support network away! This is a mistake I made and It hurt me alot. However, I now understand real friends will stay forever, and if me "waking up" was enough to end the friendship, then it wasn't worth keeping and something else would have happened to end it.

[Metaphor]

Thank you all, for your heartwarming replies and great advice. As the aforementioned family needs me i´ll concentrate my love on them for today, I will dig in on all links and clips this evening with a glass of really old single malt :-)

I of course realise that there are many members here that have had the same experience. I hope this thread can benefit many with the same feeling.

[Kryztian]

Yes, It is lonely knowing the truth and not being able to share it. It is hard to face the hard cold facts alone and not having others at your side. As scanner says above, drop seeds: you can't hit them over the head with all the information you have, you can only give them little hints and let them figure the rest out on their own. When they notice something wrong with their universe, it's up to you to figure out what information they can use - just give them a little bit, don't give them more then they can digest. If you find you are whetting their appetite, you are on the right track. Soon they will be discovering the truth on their own and educating you.

It took you years to learn to read and write and yet now it seems first nature - remember that learning takes a lot more time and energy than we admit. It also took you years to wake up and see what is really out there - it didn't just happen overnight. We can't expect the rest of the world to learn all of this faster than we did, just because we are there to help them.

We should feel honored that we have a purpose in life, to help bring the new truth into the world - but we have to remember that our fellow humans are going to have to make baby steps, just as we did.

[Eagle Eye]

I need your support.

perhaps youve been there...

Still is there?

The feeling of being so lonely with your loved ones. This is when going "your own way" is going tough.
When the gap between you are miles wide, but not in your heart... only in world view.

I can´t even listen to the news on the radio, in the news or the papers without being upset over all the lies and obvoius mismanagment/disinformation of this planet. Its even harder to have loved ones or colluages/relatives that are still defending the system or whatever they have been fed with being "the proper way of thinking".
I really feel right now that it was more demanding that I could ever imagine to walk this path, but of course the only decent way since this is the way my heart told me to go. I have always felt like the black sheep or against the stream. Funnily enough, or perhaps more paradoxal is that I have also felt that that there is some kind of admiration for me being persistent in my pursue of my own goals.

But the lonelineness.
I could never imagined how that could be like. Well somehow perhaps I could, because I never felt really included or invited to soceity anyway.

I have a lovely wife and wonderful kids, but the lack of a place in life, perhaps that could be compared to a tribe or family has always been far away. But in my heart there has always been a song that has kept me reminded that there is a home "somewhere" but still unknown to me.


How do you do it? Do you feel the same?
... Right now I feel like a desert island tossed out somewhere.

Much love to you all... My dear avalonians.

If you feel like the black sheep among others than you have a purpose my friend. You are there in the right place for the right cause. You need to guide as many as you can and its not an easy task nor something you can do for few days. Work on that purpose as much as you can and you will enjoy the results.

You need to know that you are not alone.

[T Smith]

Hi Metaphor,

For me, personally, the questions you raise are among my most challenging navigations. With friends and colleagues, and even removed family members, I have learned to participate in their worldview without judgement. Planting seeds is very good advice (as many others have suggested). I often find my subtle role in these relationships to be the carrier of a flashlight (when solicited) when I find we're wondering through the darkness together, or sometimes just observer (when not solicited). This is not unlike playing a game with a child where you find you're going through the motions with the child, as equal players, learning and discovering together, but to some degree you are pretending while the child is really experiencing. If you are in a role of "pretending", it would not necessarily be a game you'd play on your own, or one you might choose as the most enriching as far as your own development or growth goes--and I do understand many people are uneasy assuming this role because most of us deep down have an aversion to being inauthentic and disingenuous--but when you engage a child in these kinds of games, you do so with love, and it isn't necessarily a lonely experience, nor one sided or disingenuous. You do draw pleasure and reward from the interaction. Often the gap is so large in your experiences this is the only way to participate. And I hesitate to employ the analogy because it implies a superiority/inferiority relationship--and this is not what I mean to imply. More accurately I only mean to point out that some of us are faced with the challenge to participate in a world with those we love and care about who navigate from an entirely different perspective. Their understanding of the world is an understanding many of us have already been through. So at least on some level, the child/adult analogy serves.

The more challenging issue for me is when immediate family, whose yolk affects your daily movements and decisions, do not share your worldview. This is what I find lonely and very challenging. A spouse whose living in a different worldview, whom you love, and with whom you are raising children, for example, can be quite difficult. I'm afraid I don't have any advice here. I'm discovering this one for myself. Often with many hard knocks.

[Arrowwind]

One thing I forgot to mention that always has helped me. In those times that feel isolated and downtrodden thats exactly when you need to amp up your participation in the world. The general law is that you get what you give. Seek a way to give your energy in some kind of service to another and though that you will feel a decrease in isolation. This is why I suggested that you seek out organizations of similar thinking people. They often already have lots of things to do that you can plug into that put you in touch with active service of some sort. Simple partcipation can lead to making stronger and more important contacts.

[sheme]

I think the powers that be need us to know "Their Stuff". This is how they plan to survive- they are all by their nature of a low vibration, they could not do what they do if they were not of a very low vibration.

Mother earth has crossed to a new dimension a higher vibration.
Tpb can only survive if we lower our atmosphere with anger fear and frustration, If we collectively lower the vibration of our Mother Earth- we save them and destroy ourselves!!!

OK so our friends think we are nuts, they are entitled to think that! 10 years ago I would have thought I was nuts too!

Now, I look at what is happening just with the physical Earth and remind myself most of the NWO hype is true, so what, we may leave this planet soon, no one knows when or even if. But with the knowledge we have the odds are in our favour, as we are probably better informed and know more than our neighbours. Thanks to bravery of many individuals we have our best chance to crawl out of pit.

This knowledge comes at the cost of our isolation, but this is a temporary state. Remember what a shock all this "awareness" was when you first woke up? Little by little you comprehended the unthinkable. Then you became aware of the inevitability of the changes and took comfort from the knowledge that we have friends out there.


Next, came 'the why me feelings?' what can 'I' do about it?
Now, that is where I was until a few days ago, what changed for me, was, I saw or was gifted the realisation that the conquering of fear and anger through knowledge is something we have to go through, unless we gently wake people up, and give them time to get over the shock .

-The state of fear and panic will prevail and benefit those souls (TPB) who are unwilling to raise their vibration. Simply by feeding them our fear and anger we benefit them, Why do you think paedophilia is such an abominable feast for them, because they thrive on innocence fear and hate. Why have they talked of beheading? not just exterminating us, but beheading? Simple Maximum fear will be generated, and this is where all lowly beings feast.

Well I say lets give them indigestion with our love and understanding, after all they just wan't to survive where they thrive with power through fear.

Today I have taken my life back, I will continue to browse for knowledge about my planet and what they are up to, but for a very limited time per day, I will also limit the ghoulishness of the topic I browse as this serves no purpose.

I am going to grow food, learn how to sterilise water, make soap, grow wheat, catch yeast, make bread , preserve food, look after a horse. Meditate every day, spread the love and understanding and shun the brain washing which appears to be coming from all quarters.

I have found it is best to talk to those we meet about the science of the earth changes that are happening right now, let them digest the fact that no media is covering the massive Earth Solar system changes, tell them about Jupiter tell them about Mars the Moon The suns heliosphere and ask them to ask their friends and family why the media are ignoring all these subjects? it is a fact the average scientist can't work it out because he has been lied to as well.

Give them a seed they wan't to plant and the awakening will follow.

Our most powerful weapon in our darkest hour will be love- it is true- love never dies , so I am going to spend the rest of my life in this dimension sending out LOVE. I'm off to plan the veggie plot. love and blessings for all beings.

[Metaphor]

We´re all icebergs that have left the glaciers to some day melt to be part of the big blue sea.

[lightwalker]

Welcome to the "Black Sheep of the Family" Group. It happens to be a very elite group. Most are out in the world with families that haven't a clue as to where or what you are being and doing. So ya feel a bit isolated, especially when you find out about the "poopie dark hat" group. Then things get a bit more challenging.

However there is a solution, honor the loneliness, remember, you came in on this whole game because you decided to be a part of the shift. And the only true solution that has more power than you can possibly imagine is your choice for love.

Oh....and you are NEVER alone. You may feel lonely, but that is just a made up emotion.

lightwalker