Lost soul: my life experiences and the life choices I have made

[myriaddimension]

I was not sure how to name this thread. It simply is about my life experiences and the life choices I have made, I am quite not sure why I am this way. Hopefully after hearing my story out, people will understand me a little bit and give me their view.

Ever since I remember I have been extremely sensitive, and at times psychic (that is for another day). My issue is my sensitive nature. Even as a kid, I took criticisms and comments personally, this has affected my self esteem all my life. As a kid, I had been chubby and as a teenager and as an adult I have acne (depending on where I live, it gets worse/better), except this has defined my life. I have isolated my life both personally and professionally. I identify myself with my acne and I have not been able to hold a job+ have a healthy relationship. I am not sure how to overcome this. On top of that my acne gets worse when I am surrounded by negative people, as I consider myself to be an empath and I can sense people's emotion very quickly. I try to isolate myself and live a very solitary life, but it is affecting my personal and professional life, and once again I am not sure how to overcome this. Moreover if I am at a certain place, my emotions are all over the place and I am hypersensitive and I tend to break out more. This is a circle I have noticed recently. When I moved back to my country (where the city is extremely polluted) I became extremely sensitive, started having bad acne flares and just started feeling super depressed and it has affected my life a lot. However, when I am at a place where I am not surrounded by so many family/friends and is less polluted, I tend to have a controlled life and my acne gets better, hence I start becoming more confident+positive.

But, this is the problem-all of my life I run from these situations. The first time I moved back, I had the same issue. I left my hometown and my acne/emotions were in control and after my sister's wedding, I abruptly decided to stay back (giving up a job+a valid US visa) knowing how I would feel/or what would happen. Now, I feel the same emotions and the feeling of being stuck/helpless mostly because my acne flares are not in control. I am not sure why but the energy in this place affects me negatively. I am at a point where I feel lost and I want to leave this place, but personally and professionally I am still at a crossroad and my parents are here. I run from all these situations, but I am not sure what steps to take to feel confident/happy while still dealing with self esteem issues because of acne. I have this strong urge to run, but I need to figure out why I follow the same circle. Also, most people are not this deeply affected by acne, but I am. I can feel its negative impacts deeply routed in my soul. Hence my sensitive nature, maybe for most people acne is acne, but for me it is more than that, and it has affected me severely. I am turning 27 tomorrow, and I still follow a pattern where now I have come to realize is a never ending circle! I just don't understand why the slightest emotions affect me so much! Most of my life whether personally and professionally, I tend to feel caved in, feel the pressure, feel their emotions and I see the worst in every situation. So, I make very indecisive and abrupt decisions, which affects my life. To conclude, I don't think its the place, but how the place affects me. I am not sure as to why it affects me so negatively. Due to this reason I have decided to move, but I am not sure if I am manifesting these acne as an unrepressed emotion, and until and unless I deal with whatever issues I have, something or the other will always manifest in my life.

[ljwheat]

Dear, Myriaddimension -- the following may help with the physical and there is a number you can call and they will be able to tell you right off if they can and what to do about it. The spiritual part we can talk about after getting rid of the physical problem that’s in your face all the time, lets eliminate that first. Jay Gutierrez - Medicine Man - 1-888-563-8389 Ext #7

http://www.nighthawkminerals.com/contactus.html

lpf3dXQNh04

[Amysenthia]

Myriaddimension,

I can sense the desperate tone of your story. First of all you must realize that your Acne is stress related. You did not mention if you are a male or female. If you are a female it may also be connected to your hormonal cycle. Either way it is important that you quit using Acne as a crutch in preventing you from experiencing life. You have said many times that you are very sensitive. People like yourself tend to want to stay in situations where you are surrounded by the familiar. However, the desire to venture out into life can be scary for everyone, but can be the most rewarding thing that you can do.

Just take one step at a time. Remember that Acne is not you. It is a skin reaction happening "to your Body", you are not your body. You are the immortal soul inside of it having a life experience through a body. If you drive a car for example, do you not get in and take it for a ride because it has an ugly scratch on the hood. You may be a little embarrassed by it, but if the car runs well that is no reason to drive it. Learn to think of your body in the same way. Just as you would have to take your car to a mechanic to have the hood fixed, see a good dermatologist or a quality facial to help your acne.

I have been an empath my entire life and know what it is like to be in the presence of negative energy. You can not learn to tune out other energy until you learn to recognize what is yours and theirs. You seem very confused about your own emotions right now. You need to learn to love yourself and find out who you are, before you can progress. Explore the many reasons why you are using Acne to keep you from being all that you can be. For instance to you have a fear of failure, rejection, being alone, etc.?

I wish you all the best on your journey. Just remember all journeys start with one step. Take things slow and quit over identifying with your Acne. Learn to sport it as you would a hat. Some people may view you negatively because of what they see, just remember that is their perception. You do not have to choose to allow it to have any control over your life. As soon as you quit being worried about it and always noticing it, so will others. They will respond to the energy that you project of confidence and not the energy that brings attention to your acne. Remember what you think you become, what you fear you attract.

[Pam]

I understand your situation as I have experienced much of the same. Your sensitivity may be overwhelmed by overstimulation in the place you are currently living. An abundance of human energy and all the electromagnetic stimulation can be overwhelming. That may be one reason you tend to isolate yourself. I have found vast improvement living in a rural area that does not have the intense stimulation has been a great improvement.

[Lifebringer]

Use peroxide and steam the face with a hot as you can stand it white washcloth to remove excess oils under the skin and in pores. Always keep some portable alcohol pads with you for during the day when you need a repeat.

It works.

[donk]

Only advice I have is to keep expressing yourself here, you will be protected from anyone's judgement but your own, and we will try our best to help you help with you--as well attempt to do the same on our separate journeys (but each a part of the whole).

You are loved, and can choose to manifest a reality you like, different from the one you are living now. Keep opening up, being brutally honest with yourself, and choose not to be a victim anymore. It seems impossible sometimes for me, and I'm not very sensitive...can't imagine what it must be like for you with the built in extra-sensitivity, but I found getting it out there and listening to what others have to share is the best medicine.

Just remember, there are many out there that will (and already do) love you for you--& know you are a wonderful person...find that person and know it and express it--then it will become apparent, love and know yourself and you will attract that energy from others. Think about you and sending love...

[Malerogro]

Hi Myriaddimension,

Thank you for sharing your story. I have had pretty severe acne during high school up until my early twenties and I know how it can get you down. Know in the first place, that it is first and foremost a physical conditon. Stress is a contributing factor but do not blame yourself for having the acne, let go of the guilt! Everyone is affected by stress and emotions in different ways and struggles with it in different ways.
A lot of people have stress, eat all the wrong things, and do not develop acne. I know it can get into your head but there is really no reason why you should feel more insecure by it.
If stress is a factor, like it seems to be in your case, you can also see it as a learning experience. People who can not look past it might just not worthy of your attention anyway. You can even use the acne as an advantage to sreen people's intentions. If they look at you strangely just walk by and leave them be with their own ego's and emotional bagage. Don't engage with them. In the same way you can identify the false parts in yourself and find the real and strong parts within yourself on which you can truly built. Try not to pay to much attention to the voices in your head that are judgemental towards yourself, who are obsessive over the acne or your appearance. Look inward, and try to fnd the voices you do like. It seems you have some great gifts, though they might not feel like that right now.
Because you are an empath, try to pay attention what you feel, don't push it away. There is nothing to fear, see it as an adventure. Try to identify where the feelings are coming from. If they belong to somebody else you can choose to give them back to that person. You can say in your head something like this to the person: Oke I can sense that person you are angry and I feel compassion for you. Know that I have felt your anger but now I give it back to you because the anger does not belong to me. The person will know on some level that you carried their emotion for a while and that they were not alone with it. But you have to give it back to them both for their sake and for yours. They need to deal with it because it is their development and you have to attend to yours. You alreay gave them a great gift by feeling with them. You also have the right to not feel other people's emotions when you are already tired, busy, or when you have a lot to deal with yourself. You can just say 'sorry not now please' or whatever feels right to you.
The same goes for the voices in your head that do you no good. The past of you that obsesses over the acne is probably not doing you any good anymore. You don't have to push them away because they were part of your development. Just accept that they were there but politely ignore them. Do not hate the thoughts when they come back, just say hi ;) there you are again! Followed by for example: 'I am gong to try something different now'. You have a choice to start to think more positive thoughts about yourself. It might feel crazy and uncomfortable at firstbut just stick with it. You can choose whatever feels good to you but take something extraordinary, for example 'I am a goddess' and act accordingly. A godess wouldn't be destracted by some skin irregularities nowwould she? She is a godess no matter what. Allow yourself to feel like it. In time you will find the parts in yourself you really like and that are most true about yourself and you will be able to love them, to be grateful for them and proud. Built on those, because they are most true!!! What is in the way is just learned fear and insecurity but it is not who we are. You are a spirit of incredible unlimited potential and only the ego can get in the way. Forgive yourself for the fear but you will start to feel that it does not need to define you.
I truly hope all this and the previous posts on the thread will give you some comfort and hope. Because that is all you need to fly! To wherever you want to go inward and outward :)

These threads might help:
http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?52810-The-Solution-Is-In-Full-Swing-Are-You-On-Board
http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?55216-The-Sacred-Circle

Know that you are fighting the hardest and most important battle of al time and you are meant to be here :grouphug: There are no mistakes, only an amazing learning experience!

You have all the power but take your time to learn and be patient with yourself.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAvzsjcBtx8

I found some natural remedies to treat the skin with here:
http://www.heaven-and-earth-home-remedies.com/acne-home-remedies.html
Choose one that feels right to you and think loving thoughts when you put it on.


Peace!

[Malerogro]

Removing the sord of trauma:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dxhzNsX434

[Rich]

If it is that important for you to get rid of your acne you could switch to a raw food diet.
But you have to know what you are doing cause there is a lot of dis-info about rawfood diet
and in my experience it can lead to deficiencies if you don't know what you are doing.

[Lifebringer]

Use peroxide pads and steam the face w/ hot as you can stand it water, leave a white washcloth on your face, to remove excess oils under the skin and in pores. Always keep some portable alcohol pads with you for during the day when you need a repeat.

It works.

[Lifebringer]

If you don't have peroxide or alcohol pads available right now, then use a hot wash cloth, steamy squeeze out the cloth, and lay on you face, two or three times before bed, and then use a cotton ball and vinegar. The natural acid in the vinegar will dry it out.

[johnf]

Thank you Myriad for sharing your story.
I have extreme sensitivity, wound up using drugs and alchohol for years to push it away.
I eventually realized that that was what I was doing, and started facing things without those tools , but looking at the reality of my thoughts and feelings with the help of others with similar problems through 12 step programs.
I am not what I would call happy much of the time these days, and suspect that I have energy sensitivity, and emotional sensitivity beyond what those programs can help with.
I pursue my spiritual interests by finding things that actually result in a positive upswing, I used this forum to help with that.
There are certain interveiws and talks that I found here that have led to further study in certain areas. For me that is non-duality teachers for the most part, and one particular ET experiencer, there are particular messages there that speak to me.
I have found too much of the conspiracy theory stuff gets me on an adrenaline rush that distracts me ,but builds up fear in the long run.
You will have your own experience with that journey, Gospeed with that.
There is a healing circle starting tomorrow on Miriam Delicados facebook page.
She is asking for names today, you could search her name, and like it then check it out.
Miracles have been accomplished with this sort of thing, and you could try asking specifically here as well.
Chances are you have healing energy coming your way from starting this thread.
Peace and happiness on your path!

[AutumnW]

Hi Myriaddimension FWIW--It sounds like you may have underlying allergies that are made worse by pollution and stress. Your immune system could be as sensitive as your personality. A hyper-active immune system generally translates directly to allergies--often food allergies. My allergies to cats manifest in hives, so have to stay away from them. My other allergies are to food. I have to be very careful what I eat. What happens if I dare to eat or drink dairy products, particularly, is mild migraines, congestion--followed by infection. It's never failed. I'm wondering if this is happening with your skin. Acne triggered by allergies, that cause an infection. Perpetual washing of the skin isn't necessarily going to help. In some cases it might even be counterproductive.

Have you seen a dermatologist? Have you done an elimination diet to test yourself for foods you might be reacting to.

It sounds like a physical and emotional vicious cycle that can be broken if you consider all of the advice you are getting. Don't get wedded to any one approach. Consider everything that has been posted and do some research.

[johnf]

I wanted to add that social anxiety has come out as a very central issue for me.
In late adulthood it lead to emotional outbursts that got me fired from my job several years ago.
And I have not replaced it with a permanent situation yet.
However the part time work I do now involves greeting people, smiling, and helping them find thier way around stadiums etc.
By doing some of this sort of thing both at work, as well as a little bit everyday, just mild socializing, I counteract the fear.
I am amazed at how this can help me spring back from depression and lack of interest in life.

[AutumnW]

I wanted to add that social anxiety has come out as a very central issue for me.
In late adulthood it lead to emotional outbursts that got me fired from my job several years ago.
And I have not replaced it with a permanent situation yet.
However the part time work I do now involves greeting people, smiling, and helping them find thier way around stadiums etc.
By doing some of this sort of thing both at work, as well as a little bit everyday, just mild socializing, I counteract the fear.
I am amazed at how this can help me spring back from depression and lack of interest in life.

I hope you don't mind me asking, and I don't want to hijack the thread, but I think it's related to the central topic and might help Myriadimension. What is the origin of your social anxiety? Do you feel it was caused by your environment or were you born sensitive to the impressions of others? Can you help us understand. Through this, others may be helped.

[ghostrider]

just my two cents, my wife has battled acne forever, use only oil free soap, wash your pillow cases every other day... the body expands during the day( when you are active) and contracts at night ( or your bedtime) ... when it expands your cells are open to particles in the air, and at night that daily debris is trapped in your skin...you sleep on it and compact it... clean pillow cases, and try and keep your hands away from your face unless you know they are really clean... the fingers naturally have an acid content, if you play a stringed instrument you see it on the strings after hours of practice ... that acid gets rubbed on other parts of the body and presto ... clean sheets and pillow cases, oil free soaps, and be careful about laundry soaps they can cause lots of problems with sensitive skin ... notice when most people are nervious they take their hand and put it some where around their face or head ...transfering acid to the face ...

[Mulder]

To conclude, I don't think its the place, but how the place affects me. I am not sure as to why it affects me so negatively. Due to this reason I have decided to move, but I am not sure if I am manifesting these acne as an unrepressed emotion, and until and unless I deal with whatever issues I have, something or the other will always manifest in my life.

I've found in my life, that when I move I take the same emotions with me and the same things tend to repeat in the new city. Dealing with issues is a long and slow process because it's like layers of an onion - when we think we've got to the end, a new layer comes-up. I send you positive energy and I hope your life goes onwards and upwards.

[Eram]

Hi myriaddimension,

Welcome to project Avalon.

Thank you for sharing this story so bravely.
You came to the right place and if you are willing, this community can be of great help to you.

Your story has a lot of similarities with my life's story when I was your age, though I never suffered from acne.
I am a sensitive too and had a lot of trouble to live my life, until I figured out how I could overcome the things that kept me from being selfconfident and happy.

Being a sensitive does not mean that you can't live a fullfilling, balanced life.
It just requires other skillls and another mind set then other people do.

The insecurities, fears, depressions and many other symptomes that I suffered from lead me to believe that all I could do was to live a solitair life with very litle social activity for more then 12 years.
The hardest part of climbing out that hole was to become aware of the victim mentality that dictated most of my behaviour, thoughts and feelings.
During the years this 'victim' mentality had grown to the size of a monster and it took me about a year to study it, and to start turning it around.
The belief structure (putting myself down, making judgement labels for myself etc) and behavioural patterns where so deeply infested with this 'victim' role, that it felt like climbing a steep hill for months, changing this energy.
So I had to become aware of it, seeing it a work in me in all the levels and ways that it did and then direct another way of thinking, behaving and feeling into my life.
Once I mastered this to some degree, things started to change for the better.
The glass became half full instead of half empty and this made all the difference.

The trick about being a sensitive is that you have to learn to stay centered and know what is part of you and what is not.
It is so easy to adopt energies from other people and believe that they are yours.
You have to become aware of your thoughts and learn how to think healthy.
The belief strucure has to be inspected as well, tossing out what doesn't serve you and adopt beliefs that are closer to the truth.
Self acceptance is key. Many sensitives grow up in situations where they are lead to believe that they have to be a certain way that doesn't fit their inner self at all and this leads to great suffering.
Learn to love who you are and learn to be empathic to those parts of you that you aren't too happy about instead of judging them.

It requires a life long effort to get your life on track and to keep it there, but it is well worth it when you start feeling better about yourself and your life.
Once things begin to work for you instead of against you, everything becomes much easier and you will experience much more joy.

as sirdipswitch (a member here) uses to say: I can do it..... You can do it !

As for the acne part... I am no expert in that field but have you ever considered to do liver cleanses?
I recently read this book about it and one of the things that is suppposed to get much better is skin conditions.
Many people have said to get rid of their acne thanks to this.
There is a thread about it here on avalon.
http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?6528-Liver-detox--from-av1-

All the best!

[johnf]

I wanted to add that social anxiety has come out as a very central issue for me.
In late adulthood it lead to emotional outbursts that got me fired from my job several years ago.
And I have not replaced it with a permanent situation yet.
However the part time work I do now involves greeting people, smiling, and helping them find thier way around stadiums etc.
By doing some of this sort of thing both at work, as well as a little bit everyday, just mild socializing, I counteract the fear.
I am amazed at how this can help me spring back from depression and lack of interest in life.

I hope you don't mind me asking, and I don't want to hijack the thread, but I think it's related to the central topic and might help Myriadimension. What is the origin of your social anxiety? Do you feel it was caused by your environment or were you born sensitive to the impressions of others? Can you help us understand. Through this, others may be helped.
Wow, that's a difficult question. Here goes though. In my family there was a lot of anger thrown around.
I felt this intense scarcity of love. Looking back I see myself trying to vie for attention like it was my very survival.
It was a strict , rather patriarchial family and I believe I developed an idea that I was the cause of all this unrest around me.

I have come to look at these things as an idea of an inadequate self, and anytime I can see that that is just an idea glued to emotions and that I can't "fix" it by acting on it as if it is a real thing, or especially by changing something outside myself, I experience some level of healing.
I learned that sort of thing fairly recently, from following Scott Kiloby. Before that, I found that taking my attention off myself, and listening to someone else tell their story helped a lot.
I parents, and others point out rather harshly that I was selfish, I could not learn from that type of teaching.
In 12 step programs I heard others talk about shyness , social anxiety and similar things, and they said it was self centered fear. I can only really see this idea as helpful when I am open to it first of all, then use it to try to help someone else.
Often by pointing out something positive about them selves they are denying.
This is often when I can see that the angry, over rigid environment I formed my first ideas of self in had no power to hurt me or create me. Those experiences actually happened yes, but I am no longer in them.
I also carry that imprint with me , but over time it loses it's importance.
I also got yelled at , (sometimes physically threatened) to grow up. That works in me today as an urge to suppress my fear.
When I do that too much, I turn into the angry adults that were around me when I was small.

Probably the biggest shifts I ever experienced came from realizing how small and helpless my parents and teachers felt when they were trying to control me or other kids.
Perhaps the biggest job of healing is to let go of the other persons action, and look at my ongoing reaction to all of this in a loving manner. The love is mine to give really to myself or others, although it would have been easier if I was handled more gently by others, the only problem was I disconnected from all the love I had inside me.

Well, I hope that is helpful To you Myriad.

[Sidney]

I would suggest googling acne + liver. And research liver cleansing. There is a thread here on the topic. There is also a connection with liver toxicity and depressive life experience.

I am also empathic, and understand how difficult it is to participate in our society even without a problem such as acne. Many people here have a hard time with society in general. welcome to the forum. You can pm me anytime, I am a good listener. : )

[lunaflare]

Some great replies here. Give Waykytweaky's post a few reads. I also note you are approaching your Saturn Return- lots of information about this online (in essence, it is a period whereby Saturn's influence causes changes and thus deeper questioning of belief systems). Your last comments were,
.."but I am not sure if I am manifesting these acne as an unrepressed emotion, and until and unless I deal with whatever issues I have, something or the other will always manifest in my life"

I think even writing these words that you know the answer to this and are, in fact, on the right track, so to speak. Start to trust your inner guidance- reclaim, rebuild, rediscover (slowly, slowly it is a process) your personal power...
I have had acne and I know it can be so alienating- like anything, when you are pushed to the outer social fringes you are offered a new perspective of viewing the world. Not being "main-stream" does open other portals of awareness. It is so very uncomfortable though. Maintaining Self love is such a challenging task. It is a cliche perhaps, but beauty is not perfect airbrushed features!
Also, I believe a healthy diet helps. Treat the body well. Vital greens in a smoothie, colonic cleanses...all ways of letting go of the "old"

[gripreaper]

First we must go after any possible deficiency in our systems, which usually boils down to cell salts. This is the Santos Bonacci video I watched which put me on the path of mineralization and cell salts:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWjz9pB70vc

Here is his You Tube channel with many great video's. The video "Your Body is the Holy Land" is also very good.

http://www.youtube.com/user/mrastrotheology

Here's the book Santos is referring to:

http://books.google.com/books?id=CMfPjUi19TAC&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_ge_summary_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=false

Here is the chart:

http://www.interfarfacing.com/12homeopBioSalts.htm

Here is a description of the 12 salts:

Dr. William H. Schuessler of Oldenburg, Germany published Shortened Therapeutics in 1873. This eminently practical work concentrated on just 12 simple mineral combinations, or salts, which he believed to be crucial to the health of the body. Schuessler's students included major homeopathic figures such as H. C. G. Luyties of St. Louis, and Dr. Constantine Hering of Philadelphia, author of Hering's Law of Cure ("Cure occurs from the head down, from within out, and in the reverse order in which the symptoms first appeared.")

Efficient use of Schuessler's biochemistry requires three things: a working understanding of homeopathy, a recognition that LOCALIZED tissue mineral deficiencies may exist, and practical experience. The safety of homeopathic preparations is so extremely good that practically anyone may learn about and try these "cell salts" at home for themselves and their immediate family. More information on the salts and their specific health applications will be found in Dr. Schuessler's Biochemistry by J.B. Chapman, M.D. (London: New Era Labs, 1973). Dr. Chapman's excellent book indicates some keynote symptoms for the cell salts, of which the following is a summary:

The Twelve Salts and Some of Their Keynote Symptoms
(The most commonly-used abbreviation is followed by its traditional and chemical names.)

1. KALI PHOS (Kali Phosphoricum; Potassium Phosphate)
a. mental/emotional symptoms predominate
b. Feel as if "I'm too tired to rest."
c. Anxiety, brain fatigue, irritability, temper-tantrums, sleeplessness, dizziness,
nervous asthma
d. easily bleeding gums

2. KALI MUR (Kali Muriaticum; Potassium Chloride)
a. white mucus, swollen glands
b. white or gray coated tongue, glandular swellings, discharge of white, thick
mucus from nose or eyes
c. indigestion from rich food

3. KALI SULPH (Kali Sulphuricum; Potassium Sulphate)
a. yellow mucus, later stages of illness, congestion and cough worse in evening
b. dandruff, yellow coated tongue, yellow crusts on eyelids
c. gas, poor digestion

4. CALC PHOS (Calcarea Phosphorica; Calcium Phosphate)
a. teething remedy
b. upset stomach, post-nasal drip, chronic cold feet, poor dentition

5. CALC SULPH (Calcarea Sulphurica; Calcium Sulphate)
a. sores that heal poorly, herpes blisters
b. pain in forehead, vertigo, pimples on the face

6. CALC FLUOR (Calcarea Fluorica; Calcium Fluoride)
a. poor tooth enamel, cracks in palms of hands, lips
b. hemorrhoids

7. NAT MUR (Natrum Muriate; Sodium Chloride)
a. dryness of body openings, clear thin mucus
b. effects of excess overheating; itching of hair at nape of neck
c. early stage of common colds with clear, running discharge
d. insect bites (applied locally)

8. NAT SULPH (Natrum Sulphuricum; Sodium Sulphate)
a. rarely needed
b. green stools and other excess bile symptoms
c. Sensitive scalp, greenish-gray or greenish-brown coating on tongue, influenza

9. NAT PHOS (Natrum Phosphoricum; Sodium Phosphate)
a. simple morning sickness; acid rising in throat
b. Headache on crown of head, eyelids glued together in morning,
c. grinding of teeth in sleep; pain and sour risings from stomach after eating

10. MAG PHOS (Magnesia Phosphorica; Magnesium Phosphate)
a. Muscle spasms, cramps and menstrual cramps, if always better with heat
b. hiccups; trembling of hands
c. teeth sensitive to cold

11. FERRUM PHOS ( Ferrum Phosphate; Ferrum Phosphate)
a. first stages of inflammation, redness, swelling, early fever
b. congestive headache, earache, sore throat
c. loss of voice from overuse

12. SILICEA (Silica)
a. white pus forming conditions, boils ("homeopathic lancet"), stony-hard glands
b. Sty in eye area, tonsillitis, brittle nails

Here is a place to get them: Be sure and get the salts extracted from the biochemic method, with a potency of at least 6X. Homeopathic pharmacies carry them, and you may be able to find them locally.

http://interfarfacing.com/ORDER_CELL_SALTS.html

Also, check your PH and make sure it is slightly alkaline. Hope this helps.

[RunningDeer]

Heart felt post, Myriad Dimension. You've helped a lot of people with your thread and for those that are yet to visit.

I'm in my 60's, and still will have breakouts. I don’t know if you are a coffee drinker, if not then this paragraph may help someone else. What I discovered was different brands of coffee, including decaffeinated coffee breaks out my skin within hours. Even some of the major coffee chains. I’ll save you the spiel to don’t drink it until I’ve done it myself. I’ve used the organic, spring water process coffee, but they cause itchy tingling under my skin. The only brands that don’t cause breakouts are Folgers and Maxwell House.

The second and surprising discovery was vitamins and minerals. I’ve known this and experimented for over 20 years, even with the high quality, all natural brands. The good news is that it keeps me accountable to eat wholesome foods. I listen to my intuition when it says time for a vitamin. The same with multi-minerals, which I use “Eidon Ionic Minerals: Liquid Concentrate”.

Quality sunscreen products is another category that I have to stay away from.

Here are products and tools I use:


“Castor Oil Soap: Moisturizing Beauty Bar,” from www.heritagestore.com (http://heritagestore.com/catalogsearch/result/?q=castor+oil+soap+3.5oz). One bar lasts a long, long time. I purchased several more bars after I used the product because you never know when a company might go out of business and it's cost effective shipping, too.
Clarisonic facial brush. I’ve had it for a couple of years. When it gives out, I’ll replace it with the less expensive travel size. They have brush head specifically for sensitive or acne skin. I’ve used their cleaning products, one of which is for acne. I’d suggest the soap mentioned above, or try the soap without Clarisonic brush.
Lastly, I've spent lots of money, and trial and error on expensive moistures. Hands down a cheap product sold at drugstore.com (http://www.drugstore.com/search/search_results.asp?N=0&Ntx=mode%2Bmatchallpartial&Ntk=All&srchtree=1&Ntt=complex+15&Go.x=0&Go.y=0&CSRFToken=VxAESA0J3WVovvhYC2PF%2F3AkihbHFHPeBv%2B2QrE8N7g%3D), called, “Complex 15”. It’s a therapeutic moisturizing face cream that’s hypoallergenic, fragrance-free, noncomedogenic (who makes up these words?).


A hug and another hug,
Paula

[beathoven]

I understand what you are going thru, been there . . .

When I was 27 years old I went to a doctor and got a recepy of a solution called ABERELA 0.5mg/ml (A-vitamin acid). It's strong stuff but it really cured my acne for good - in less than three months. I only wished I'd known that for fifteen years earlier . . . Now I am 54 yo and still having oily skin but I have no acne.

If you try this treatment it's better to do it at winter time because sun burns and irritates treated areas. Good luck :)

[Magnus]

I was not sure how to name this thread. It simply is about my life experiences and the life choices I have made, I am quite not sure why I am this way. Hopefully after hearing my story out, people will understand me a little bit and give me their view.

Individuals that are gifted with psychic abilities don't always understand their experience and how to handle it.

Professional psychics more often than others tend to be masters of their gift, they have learned to control their experience through being able to differentiate themselves from what is not of their own.

It's important to understand that what you feel, sense or experience is not always related to yourself, at all. The more you know yourself and the boundraries of your own integrity, it will become increasingly easier for you to master your gift.

Always try to stay on top of whatever your sensitivity brings you, judge what you feel and then decide if you want to be the host for it or not.

Experiencing the psychic gift unprepared will without doubt confuse and possibly consume the unaware.

From what you write in your post, I interpret you as not being in control of your sensitivity, but i believe it should be within your reach to yet again gain self-esteem and confidence in yourself if you start practice the above. As your sensitivity cause you to feel miserable wich in turn causes your illness, my idea is that you focus on the source of your trouble - your sensitivity and how to handle it.

As you say, your illness could very well be directly linked to your emotional state, I myself suffer psoriasis and this works the same way with me, when for any reason my wellbeing becomes less than ok, my psoriasis gets worse!

I'm moderately sensitive myself in everyday life, hiding behind a hardened shell, but in times of extreme stress and overwhelming trouble i tend to gain provisional extrasensory perception, just enough needed at the time, no more no less.

If you don't mind, I would suggest that you try to bond yourself to one location only, at least until you have gained full control over your sensitivity. Find a place that you could call home for a while, a neutral place, a place where you at least don't feel directly uncomfortable. This will provide a certain amount of comfort and confidence, wich is needed as a base for you to be able to work on your goal.

You have my best wishes coming your way. Good luck!

[Kiforall]

Quite a lot of acne sufferers are getting excellent results with food grade diatomaceous earth

[myriaddimension]

I would like to express a heartfelt thank you to all those who commented. I feel so humbled, blessed and amazed at how many responses my thread has! When I went to sleep, I had zero responses, but my sister who lives on the other side of the world, emailed me stating how my thread is getting a lot positive responses. I was surprised to say the least. :) I feel so loved and blessed and would like to thank you all for sending positive energy and love my way. I am not exaggerating when I say I actually feel the positive glow directed my way! After reading all these responses, I believe I am loved and I am so grateful to be a part of such an amazing community. Besides my family, I am not very close to a lot of people, but I am so appreciative of this community. When I have time, I will respond to each and every comment and heed all the advises sent my way.

Once again, thank you!

[RunningDeer]

Quite a lot of acne sufferers are getting excellent results with food grade diatomaceous earth

I Googled to refresh my memory: what is the difference between Zeolite & Diatomaceous Earth?” There are a lot of sites that can assist.

I use Zeolite not on a regular basis. It's one of those examples where I go with my intuition. It can also be used to exfoliate. (see link below)

Video on main page. (http://www.etszeolite.com)

Benefits, Other Usage, etc (http://www.etszeolite.com/html/zeolite_usage.html)

This was the reason why I initially purchased it: eliminates toxins and radioactive materials, heavy metals.

More Information: Clay is effective for many ailments. It will remove impurities including bacteria, fungi, parasites, chemicals, toxins and even help resolve viral infections.  It has been used extensively in the treatment of pain, open wounds, colitis, diarrhea, hemorrhoids, stomach ulcers, constipation and intestinal problems, acne, anemia, and a variety of other health issues. Just about everything unhealthy, everything impure, is irresistibly attracted to clay and becomes subject to immediate elimination.


http://avalonlibrary.net/paula/Recovered/etszeolite_new_canister_200_zpsb385adc3.JPG

[AutumnW]

I would like to express a heartfelt thank you to all those who commented. I feel so humbled, blessed and amazed at how many responses my thread has! When I went to sleep, I had zero responses, but my sister who lives on the other side of the world, emailed me stating how my thread is getting a lot positive responses. I was surprised to say the least. :) I feel so loved and blessed and would like to thank you all for sending positive energy and love my way. I am not exaggerating when I say I actually feel the positive glow directed my way! After reading all these responses, I believe I am loved and I am so grateful to be a part of such an amazing community. Besides my family, I am not very close to a lot of people, but I am so appreciative of this community. When I have time, I will respond to each and every comment and heed all the advises sent my way.

Once again, thank you!

So happy we made you feel happy, Myriaddimension!

[RunningDeer]

post deleted

[myriaddimension]

Also, to answer a question about my gender-I am a female! :)

[Malerogro]

Also, to answer a question about my gender-I am a female! :)

See, you are a goddess! :)

[Malerogro]

I am relieved to hear you were able to receive to positive energy coming your way :) I don't whether songs help you but I thought of this one just now:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Li1GyYM5XaU
It is a sad song but it makes me remember I am not alone..
Probably very familiar song for Wakytweaky ;)
Best wishes!

[myriaddimension]

Thank you for this link, I will surely give it a try and will keep you updated. I am on medication right now since the doctor diagnosed my acne as dust allergy.

[myriaddimension]

Hi,

I have to say I have been pretty desperate mainly because I consider myself to be the cause of it. Mostly because when I was in the States, all my allergy and acne was eliminated (there are lots of reasons), but I chose to stay back abruptly so this manifested in my life once again. Since I am extremely sensitive, I tend to absorb people's emotions and when I am around people that tend to have negative energy, I tend to be more volatile/sensitive. I do appreciate your message as I do know that I am not my body, but at times I wish I did not have acne.I guess we all tend to be vain at times. :P All my life I have defined myself through acne and most of my personal/personal experiences have been affected by it. I have always feared rejection and failure and have experienced it time and again. Also, I am confused about my emotions most of the time because I don't know how to separate my own from the people around me. So, I tend to isolate myself. During the wedding, I became so sensitive and overwhelmed, I just decided to give up my job in the US and stayed behind, but I am not sure why I did that. So, I guess I am trying to understand my sensitive nature and its correlation to acne.

[myriaddimension]

Actually, this is quite true! I do not have problem with acne and my sensitive nature when I am not in my hometown. I had been living in the States for the last two years and I was healthy physically. I still had a sensitive nature, but not as much as right now. Nevertheless, I still decided to stay back and I still cannot understand why! My professional life is going well, but other than that I actually miss being back there as I have lived in the States for almost 10 years (back and forth. If not for my parents, I do not think I would have moved back anyways so I am still wondering my motive for staying behind. Also, when I am in my hometown/country, I tend to feel extremely overwhelmed and I do believe it is not only because of the pollution. The energy around here is very dense. I can feel the negative energy emanated constantly and its because I know a lot of people here personally. I hope I can live in a more isolated place in the future. I am in the process of thinking about applying to jobs/schools so can I move out of here. Hopefully, that will happen soon. :)

[myriaddimension]

I am not sure if I can find peroxide here, but I will surely try to find alcohol pads. Thank you for the advice. :)

[myriaddimension]

Thank you for this lovely post. I decided to post my experience here because I believed I would have a platform to share my story. When I posted it, I was slightly worried because I believed people would see my post as self-centered. However, my experiences in life has been traumatic because of acne and most of my life decisions have been affected it. When I am acne free, I tend to be positive and confident, and quite the opposite when I am riddled with it. I have been going through the same pattern and wanted to heal myself. I wanted to break this poor me and victim attitude because I do not want to define my life via acne. More importantly, I want to improve myself so I can have a holistic personal and professional life, and I cannot do so until and unless I analyze the root cause of my behavior. I think acne is just a manifestation of an underlying issue (I am guessing that of course). :)

[myriaddimension]

Thank you for such an insightful post. :) I do constantly feel guilty because I constantly wonder why do I get acne, when most people eat unhealthy and lead an extremely stressful life than I do. I have always been extremely judgmental and critical of myself and this personality bleeds over other aspect of my life. I have performed poorly in schools, have a really low self esteem/confidence, have left jobs abruptly and mostly its because of my sensitive nature. However, my acne is a a huge factor that played an important role in my life. I have always defined myself through my acne. The voices in my head are extremely judgmental to say the least.

As mentioned in my original post, I left a job and stayed back during my sister's wedding because emotionally I felt extremely overwhelmed. Except when I was living in the States, my acne was cured and I was becoming less sensitive but as soon as I came back to my hometown (where I have a lot of family members), I started suffering from acne (it could because of the pollution too), and I started becoming extremely flustered, depressed and emotionally volatile. I have not been able to separate my own feelings from those of others and I think I should start by identifying that! Also, a lot of insecurities has started resurfacing and that is when I realized that I need to work on this now, otherwise I will follow the same cycle again.

I hope I can take your advise, so I can see the good in me because deep down I do believe I am more than my body! :)

[Gardener]

Hello Myriaddimension, welcome to Avalon! I just wanted to say thanks for couragiously posting your experiences. Hey you are okay just as you are for us lot,
Lots of good advice from people, aren't they just the best bunch lol. It seems to me you have a fairly good grip of what is at the bottom of your ultra sensitivity, and you seem to know yourself pretty well, I wondered if you have a friend or even a counsellor with whom you can explore those deeper aspects of the psyche which are throwing these curveballs into your life.

Often these more stubborn affects are coming out of the unconscious and can be quite elusive but watching your dreams for symbolic messages can lead to clues. Its often something we rather not look at lol but that's why its unconscious and needs a bit of a mirror from someone to get you looking in the right direction.

Sometimes, and I am not saying this is in any way true for you, but having self absorbed parent/s sort of narcissistic, emotionally absent, or even alchoholic type of parent can induce this very vulnerable and sensitivite nature.

I am pretty sure the skin will clear up when the psyche gets to off load some of the stuff its hanging on to.
Also I wanted to add that sugar and fats inc fizzy drinks are best avoided

[judymoon]

Well, i think taking on a human incarnation is one of the most stressful things a spirit can do. You're a pisces and you are going through your saturn return. Pisces is the most sensitive sign in the zodiac. Ruled by the planet Neptune, its the sign where boundaries are dissolved and we merge back into oneness. You can see the inherant problem with combining a sojourn in a body with the the desire to merge back into the all ;)

A saturn return happens approximately every 28 years and lasts about a year and a half. During this time, any unfinished business from the first cycle is brought into our lives to be dealt with and resolved. Maybe there is something you are trying to heal/resolve with your move back to your country of birth and your parents. This is tough stuff, and just being willing to do the work is admirable and to be commended. Being around our parents can bring up our most painful and deepest issues.

I am an empath also and have had to carefully construct a life that works for me. I need an unusual amount of alone time to process my life. I am very careful who i spend time with, as I am deeply effected by others energy. It has been a lifelong lesson to allow myself the peace and quiet enviroment I need to function optimaly. Otherwise i bounce around my life like a pinball-out of control and tossed back and forth by outside influences.

I think one of the most hurtful ideas to come out of the new age movement is that we 'create' our own sicknesses and handicaps and that they show our 'lack' of spirituality. There are many unspiritual, even negative people who have great health. Any kind of suffering merits compassion. At the level most of us are on, we truly don't understand the concept that we create our own reality. It's a very advanced spiritual concept and is very easy to mis-interpret.

My best friend had acne for years, starting in high school, and was very tramatised and shaped by the experience. Its not a trivial thing and i am not surprised you feel victimised by it. The fact that it cleared up when you were in another enviroment is very hopeful, and its clear that you see the differences and have pondered what the reasoning could be.

You said two things in the post above. 1) that you want to analyze the root cause of your behavior so you can live a holistic life. 2) you think the acne is a manifestation of an underlying issue.

My suggestion would be to first work on creating a sustainable and healthy life for yourself no matter what that takes. Work toward that as a short term goal. Honor your need to have a life that reflects who you are and what you need. Honor your sensitivity and allow yourself the privacy, quiet and stress free enviroment you need to grow and florish. Once you have a home base that is safe and peaceful and is a refuge from the crazy world, then you can work on more difficult issues, knowing you have a place to retreat to when you are becoming overwhelmed by the emotions of others.

Treat the acne as a physical issue with appropriate treatment and stop blaming yourself, in any way, for its occurance. If it is caused by an underlying issue, creating a safe and sustainable life will only help.

Be kind to yourSelf on your journey :) You never walk alone

[skamandar]

myriaddimension Just about 2 weeks ago I had the same problem (for all of my life, but it ended).
When I was in a room with more than 1 horny person - I felt like gang raped.
When I had couple of angry people around me - I felt like poisoned with a the poison of their hatred, which hit me directly in the heart, and there was nothing to stop it from going through me.
I witnessed a man being hit by a tram and I was going to follow him in his death - I felt his pain as if it were mine.
I was directly becoming ugly when I was around tormented people, and I was shining like an angel - in the rare occasions I was around happy people.
I want to recommend you a meditation for building up a psychic shield, which just happened to help me big time. And if you have time - all the lectures in the channel with the meditation are quite helping to a super empath - which I believe you are.
XhuLXYLhz-c

[Anchor]

I was not sure how to name this thread.


Myriaddimension,

Regardless of the name of the thread you have chosen for yourself, a very good name for this forum; and curiously my observation is that your situation is closely related to your multi-dimensional nature.

A few disjointed thoughts, came to mind on reading your opening post.

Acne which manifests on the skin is significant in that it is the boundary between that which is you (ie: the bag that contains you) and that which is not you (on all multi-dimensional levels).

Could it be that the acne is a manifestation/reflection of your unease with your environment - between the inner you and the outer?

You say that your issue is that you are sensitive (inc ESP). Could it actually be with the way you process the extra detail rendered to your consciousness by these sensitivities?

You state that you are not able to overcome this. This may be true, but I am sure you will find a way - you just have not yet done so. This forum will probably help quite a lot.

You try to live a solitary life to mitigate some of the causes, but it is interfering with how you must play the game you came to play.

The stresses and inner conflict of you holding back within your "safe" boundary plays out over your skin.

Like so many you are judging yourself very harshly. You measure yourself by the standards set by others, but for a free-spirit, this is quite harsh.

You are not alone. I could show your post to several people who would say how uncanny it was that large parts of it could have been written by them.

You don't need to run, because there is nothing to run from and there is nowhere to run to. You are here, in a body that currently seems to you to be a poor fit for the spirit that inhabits it, regardless you are not alone.

You are young - there are no standard milestones for your life. You do not have to do this or that by this or that time. Success is what we make it. Ergo: you have not failed by any measure, and at 27, there is a lot of time for you to improve the way you are integrating your spirit with mind and body! You are not the only person in this situation. It bears repeating that you are not alone. I keep saying that because, its really important that you understand that there are billions of people with "integration" problems :) If you feel all alone it probably makes it worse.

All these problems you state you have (which is your opinion of yourself) can be fixed or worked around.

I think you have come to the right place.

I may have, in this post, covered ground already covered by others, but I wanted to post my response as it was based on immediately occurring thoughts after speed reading your OP. I will now go back and read what everyone else said.

Last thing I want to say, no matter how crap you feel, no matter how low you go, please remember that you are surrounded by the infinite creation. Within that are many entities that are very very interested and supporting of your well being. The love of any one of these of your support crew is beyond human reckoning, let alone them all in concert, but this aid is tempered by your freewill. The help needs to be asked for.

-- UPDATE: --

I read the thread, lots of practical advice and some with ideas similar to mine - eg: Waky, Gardender and Judymoon.

I re-read your opening post, and realise that you are not really asking anything - but stating your comprehensive analysis. This is interesting to me as it cuts across the very last paragraph of my response above. I'd be especially interested in your view of this thinking.

--

[Malerogro]

Sometimes, and I am not saying this is in any way true for you, but having self absorbed parent/s sort of narcissistic, emotionally absent, or even alchoholic type of parent can induce this very vulnerable and sensitivite nature.

Wow that rings so true! During my teenage years I had it was impossible for me to set the boundaries between my parents problems and me. They were so self-absorbed with their problems and sucked me in to. Now I come to think of it, this was the period I developed acne too. When I moved out at 18 it started to clear up but very slowly, probably because their problems were still in my head. So probably there is a link between setting boundaries between self and others, finding your own intergrity, and skin problems. Which is no suprise because the skin is both the literal and metaphorical boundary between the self and the world. Itis no surprise then that you feel like your relationship with your environment and your acne go hand in hand myriaddimension. Note that I am not saying you and the acne, because it cannot be repeated enough that that is definetely not the case! :)

[myriaddimension]

Hi, it is definitely an allergy because if I move away from my hometown, it tends to get better. Also, since I have an extremely sensitive nature, I tend to be like a sponge when I am here. I absorb everyone's emotions, experiences, judgements, criticisms etc. So I break out more often, so I think my emotions and my state of mind has a direct correlation to my physical well being aka acne. To answer your question, I am on Ayurvedic medication and it is of some help. I am not sure if I want to go to a dermatologist and "inject" chemicals in my body. I rather go the natural route. :)

[myriaddimension]

Yup, I do have social anxiety whether I have acne or not. When I was in the states, I was " healthy" (no acne, allergy, extremely fit etc), yet I was very isolated and kept to myself. It is my intrinsic nature to be by myself, and mostly be extremely reserved. I do not open up to many people. I actually enjoy my job here and since my parents are here, the experience has some good side!

¤=[Post Update]=¤

Thank you for your advice. I do tend to do all that, and it does help at times. Since I believe I am allergic to dust ( that is what the doctor said, the environment over here does not suit me), it's a little bit trickier than expected!

[myriaddimension]

So true, when I moved here for the first time in 2009, I had the same issue however I disregarded it. I was in the process of applying for my masters so I knew I would leave soon. However, when I moved back to the states, my acne/allergy went away but I had a difficult time find a job and struggled a lot mostly because of my lack of self confidence/self esteem issue. When I finally a found a job, I attracted a job that I was not happy with. During the wedding, I made a decision to stay abruptly without weighing my pros and cons. Professionally I have grown a lot in the last 8 months or so, more than I thought I had the capability to, and this experience has helped me hone my skills and knowledge! Moreover, I have learnt a lot of about strengths and weakness and I have a clearer understanding of what I want professionally. However, on the other hand, it has also taught me what I don't want and shown me the pros and cons of living here. I think I want to make a conscious choice of working with my unresolved emotions and underlying issues so I can start a healing process for the next step of my life.

[myriaddimension]

"The hardest part of climbing out that hole was to become aware of the victim mentality that dictated most of my behaviour, thoughts and feelings"

You know while reading this post, it is so uncanny because I am reading about myself, esp about the victim mentality. Since I had acne since I was a 13 years old and I was slightly chubby in high school, I always identified myself as a victim. I am not sure if these were entirely my thoughts because I believe a lot of people around me saw me the same way. I was compared and still get compared to my cousins/siblings based on my looks etc. That is why I find this environment where I am currently, extremely unhealthy to my psyche. Luckily my parents and my siblings are better than that! When I was living with my family members, they always saw me as a "poor" creature based on my looks, academic achievements etc. It was the same story with my twin-sister, she was viewed the same way. I think my younger sister was put on a pedestal and due to these reasons, we had an unhealthy upbringing. Except my parents, most of the family members compared us to each other. Moreover, we were sexually abused as a kid so the three of us have tired very hard to resolve these issues and build a life that is physically, spiritually, mentally healthy. Hence, my reason to not stay in my hometown. No matter how hard I try, these unresolved issues resurface. Since then we have resolved/in the process of resolving underlying issues with each other, and are extremely supportive of each other.

However, when I moved to the States, I truly found myself because I did not have biased and judgmental beings defining my identity. I have been severely affected by other people's definition of me and after a while I started molding myself to their perspective of who I was supposed to be. As you said, I stopped differentiating my emotions/feelings/views from everyone else's and borrowed their feelings/views/emotions. This simply affected my life to a point where I have not been able to see past it. When I moved back here in 2009, I faced the same issues as I am facing right now, rather than resolving it I ran from it. I moved back, pursued a degree and lived there for two years. However, I was still in the victim mode. My acne/allergies were gone, but I was manifesting other issues such as not being able to find a stable job, extremely isolated life and no personal life whatsoever. As I have mentioned before, when I finally found a job I was just not capable of coping with it because I was extremely sensitive to every thing being said/done to me. Since I have a habit of taking other people's actions personally, I decided to quit my job during my sisters wedding. I have a very capricious and indecisive nature.

All my life, I have believed (again poor-me/victim attitude), that I was not good enough, capable enough, smart people or I don't deserve love/happiness/prosperity/success or I have always told myself I cannot be successful, healthy, loved, pretty, live a life a "normal" person's life. I believe my belief system of looking at a glass as an half empty glass has always followed me and I subconsciously follow the same patterns wherever I go, except the issues are different. Nevertheless, this time around I am trying to make a conscious choice to resolve the issues I have with myself and the issues I have with other, so I can release any energy block to pursue a holistic and balanced life, whether physically, spiritually, mentally, professional or personally. It is a long process and hopefully I can master my emotions so I can separate other people's emotions from mine. After, that I hope things start falling in their rightful places. :)

[myriaddimension]

This is extremely helpful. My family structure, which consists of an extended family was extremely unhealthy to say the least. Dad's side of the family never liked my parents and I, and still don't, since I share a compound with them (even till this day), I can constantly feel their negative feelings towards my family and I. My mom's side of the family are better, but the family structure has always been skewed. As kids, we have seen domestic violence, angry lifestyle, manipulative tactics and intimidating emotions used and a lot of negative energies floating around. Also, as kids my sisters and I were sexually abused so this already affected our life. Moreover, when you have issues such as acne, struggling academic achievements, being chubby-my friends and "family" found someone they could reflect their negativity and misery. As you have mentioned in your post, the control factor was extremely huge even within our family members (including the parents) so this defined our family structure too. The lifestyle I am leading right now is taking a toll on me for various reasons, but mostly because of the underlying issues I have with the family members (my parents, uncles, aunts etc). Nevertheless, I have decided to simply forgive and forget and start over, because the anger, hatred and sadness is affected my life severely. As you said the biggest job of healing is to let go of the other persons' action and I hope I can start practice " the art of letting go". I wish to concentrate on my reactions/emotions/issues and hope to heal myself slowly.

[myriaddimension]

I would suggest googling acne + liver. And research liver cleansing. There is a thread here on the topic. There is also a connection with liver toxicity and depressive life experience.

I am also empathic, and understand how difficult it is to participate in our society even without a problem such as acne. Many people here have a hard time with society in general. welcome to the forum. You can pm me anytime, I am a good listener. : )

Thank you for help, I really appreciate it. I have always wanted to do a liver cleansing, but it seems a little intimidating. Since I am living with my parents, they would not understand if I chose to do so :). However, I will definitely research on it, and when the time is right, I would def work towards it. Also, I understand your viewpoint about being empathic, I feel the same. That is why I prefer to isolate myself and remain far from environment/people not conducive to my spiritual growth. Also, as I have lived in the States since I was 16 and have always felt at home. Due to immigration issues, I moved back. Even though, I love my country I never feel like I belong here (maybe that is something to do with the people/environment).

[myriaddimension]

You know this is the second time I am hearing about Saturn Returns, it is interesting that almost all the issues I have ignored or never worked on are resurfacing right now. It is very interesting to say the least. Almost all my life, due to life experiences I have 1) been on a victim mode 2) been overly pessimistic (acne being one of the main reason of my unhappiness), 3) been emotionally isolated (professionally and personally). When I was young, I was bullied in school and because of that I did not have a lot social interaction. I always saw myself as an observer rather than a participant in events. I conditioned myself to be emotionally "detached" and blocked my emotions completely. The result of that is a delayed reaction. After turning 18-19, my depression was fully inflated to a point where living a normal life was difficult, I was/have been a poor me and mostly have been financially and emotionally unstable. I simply did not have faith in myself, I do question whether some of my issues are from my past life (to those who believe in reincarnation). Nevertheless, I do agree with you, "not being main stream" does open portals of awareness because I consider myself of pure of heart and an old soul who has seen/experienced a lot in life.

¤=[Post Update]=¤

It actually helps a lot. :) I learnt a new thing today and of that I am grateful. I will definitely check this out and see if I can find them in my hometown. Thanks a lot!

[myriaddimension]

Your post made me smile, thanks for all the helpful tips! Surprisingly when I was in States I ate food that was "healthier" in terms of I would say the variety of food I consumed , but since I live with the parents, my diet consists of rice, legumes, vegetables, wheat, barley, etc. I am a vegetarian, and I have barely touched alcohol in the last 8 months or so, so I do think my diet is healthier here than it is anywhere else. I do consume coffee (but its the instant coffee mostly), and I think it does not affect me. However as soon as I step out in the dusty environment, as you mentioned my skin has this "itchy tingling under my skin" so I am assuming it is more the environment than the food. I used to use sandalwood paste with turmeric when I was in the States, but even that is not helpful here. So, I am on an Ayurvedic medication and will see what happens. I think the issue I have is an energy block and I need resolve the underlying issues I have. However, I do not believe my allergy/acne will automatically go away of course. :) I am thinking of moving back again (hopefully in the next year or so as I mentally feel healthier in the States, mainly because I have lived there since I was 16 and I am not constantly around negative environment). However, my parents are here for the moment and I want to live with them for now. I am glad to be a part of this community because I sincerely believe I am here for a reason, and I chose Project avalon for a reason too. :)

[myriaddimension]

Thank you for your suggestion. I am on Ayurvedic medication for now, so lets see how that helps. Unlike allopathic medication, Ayurvedic medication is a combination of a lot of product, but I feel comfortable going that route for now. I have tried antibiotics before and it has helped me, except I am not sure what the long term side effects would be so I chose the alternative solution. :)

[myriaddimension]

Thank you so much for your best wishes. I truly feel blessed for the all positive energy sent my way. To be honest, most of my dreams (now more than ever) has been like flash back movies. I can see it in technicolor and I tend to remember most of it. Most of them have not occurred or a different variation of it has occurred. I am thinking about making a dream log so I can keep track of what I dream. However, I do know that my dreams have a concerete meaning to it, but since I am not in control of my feelings/emotions/experiences I tend to take these signs lightly. My problem is not being able to differentiate between my emotions and others, mostly how to set boundaries so I can positively identify and channel these emotions. I would appreciate if you someone suggest a meditation/healing technique for empaths!

[myriaddimension]

Thank you for your suggestion, I will definitely research on it.

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Yes I can call myself a goddess. :)

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Thanks for the song, I will definitely listen to it. Also, I do feel an intense amount of positive energy since the day I wrote my post. :)

[myriaddimension]

Honestly, I am so surprised with the responses. I never expected so of them and with such heartfelt and genuine answers.:) I do believe I know myself pretty well and I do have a good grip on my ultra sensitivity, expect I am not sure how to differentiate my emotions with others and channel the emotions constructively. As I said mentioned in one of responses, my dreams have been heightened in the last couple of weeks. At least, most of them I tend to remember. Therefore, I am thinking of writing a dream log to understand it symbolic value.

About the parents, they are not narcissistic but I do have my issues with them (some of them stemming from childhood)!

[sheme]

I would avoid fluoridated and chlorinated water. mobile phones, anything that has a radio frequency.

If you really want to get to the bottom of things- do a 5 day food cleanse.-Eat as few different foods as possible say rice and water for 5 days, (you will feel great after the 5 days are up by the way)plus a vitamin supplement.

Then gradually introduce one new food every day and see which ones upset you. Deadly nightshade family used to bother me Tomato Aubergine spuds etc. your sensitivity foods will be your own. Maybe one or many.

Usually the foods we crave the most are the ones that we are sensitive to. Oh yes keep a diary of food and drink and places and feelings- you may notice something, Oh and get a Black Tourmaline stone and carry it with you, this transmutes negative energy.

sending you love and peace.

[Lifebringer]

I think it's your higher self saying FOCUS on what stresses you with positive light and love and realize, it's not the end of the world with acne. Simple peroxide and cotton ball removes the bacteria from the face, so it's evident these stressors, bring about a physical reaction in your body, which is sensitive. So you must face the things that stress you the most, and pray/focus/call on God to help you to use your inner power of cell repair while you focus on what is troubling you and the world. A long time ago, I was a cryer. I would see some sad situation and feel other's pain experiencing it. I say a prayer, know it's been heard and wait for the power to move it.

It's time babe. Use some chamomile in your tub with powered ginger to promote sweating of the pores and glands, which will cleanse them and antisepticize the acne naturally with less skin damage. Keep this at all times so you can instantly relax. Lavender scented rooms promote a calmness from stress. Use lemon slice on the face areas that are really effected and let the vitamin C remove viral germs that also may be present in the pores. Yes, virus go all through the body, not just the digestion system and attack the weakest organ, and at this time, it is OUR skin. With all the radioactivity, chemtrails, and other chemicals, you may be sensitive to "toxidity."