View Full Version : What is it like to be God? A first person narrative.

Ernie Nemeth
10th April 2013, 01:24
I wrote this piece many years ago. I put myself in The Creator's shoes, so to speak, and just went with it. Out of this grew a book of mine, with more ego than I would have wished, called, All Just Is. Hope it is entertaining and maybe a bit enlightening.

What is it to be God?
It is. It is, nothing more and nothing less. Yet infinitely more while infinitely less.
Words cannot truly convey the meaning of it.

It is, to you, more a feeling than it is an understanding. It is a meaning without knowing.
God is constant and static in your clearest understandings but I am not that, at least not in totality. I am that and all other linear systems combined. I am the context for every concept, and the concept as well. For this reason it is best just to say that All just is. God being All, that is. By using the name All instead of God, the personality, the conscious awareness, the character, of the divine is submerged along with every other particular aspect. This is how it should be.

All just is. All; the all of it, the infinite.

To say it is boring is only to look at it in retrospect from your perspective. There is nothing I do not know and everything is fully accounted for in advance. There are no surprises of any kind at any time. Being All, I know it all. Oddly, again from your perspective, the one thing I cannot say is that I have done it all, not in the sense that you would take it in. I am doing nothing, never have; I am pure being, I do not do. You do, I am. (I love word play – it’s so silly and telling at the same time).
Within my depths I create by simply being. The creation is perfectly balanced by destruction at another depth of my being. This dance of creation/destruction marches on and is my hallmark – my essence. There is as much beauty in destruction as there is in creation, this has been shown to you throughout the ages but you will not draw the necessary parallels.

I will not try you with examples as I have many times in the past; you know the truth of it as a sense of rightfulness. For many this feeling manifests as a slight warmness or tightness in the mid-abdomen – the gut. Others may feel a warmth or tingling sensation around the heart and lungs. This feeling signifies truth, learn to cultivate it.
Creation and destruction are two sides of the same coin. Together they represent the process, the never-ending journey without limits. This I am and so much more and less.

To be God is to be you.

This is the profound statement that has everybody buzzing. I am you. Can you guess the qualifier? I am you and so much more and less. But I am certainly you.
What is it like for you to be God, I could be asking. Do you know it all; do you sense the all of it? No? Yet I say that you are me. So am I lying?
Or are you lying to yourself?

Remember, I am the all of it, there is nothing that is not me, including nothing. So you are me but something stands in the way of your knowing it. It is exactly the something that is to blame, the symbol of things. Things require other things to proscribe their own boundaries. Symbology, the use of symbols to convey meaning or information, is finite and wrought with contradictions. Mostly it is distracting. There is always something to distract your attention from the truth and that is the obstacle that stands in the way of your knowing. You know you are me but you are distracted by something that gets in the way of your knowing it consciously, constantly. Throughout the days of your living you perpetuate this ostrich-like behavior – sticking your head in the sand (distracting yourselves with your thoughts) to hide from danger (the truth, which is that you are not your thoughts). And you can be certain that, from your present perspective, the truth is dangerous.

To understand creation/destruction is to understand the relationship between the fact that you are me and that you do not know that you are me.
In order to gain comprehension you must have the facts, the truth. To this end I will now relate the beginnings of time. Keep in mind that this story is explained using your own perspective as the reference point.

Before the beginning there was only darkness, an unknowing unmanifest nothing. On the horizon all around a presence began to make its appearance in the form of a slight luminescence. The darkness still held sway but its boundaries were marked by the dull glow.
Suddenly, the darkness was made manifest. The luminescence at the periphery flashed in unparalleled brightness, an equal to the darkness.

Then the light swallowed the darkness whole and expanded the dimensions of its domain many fold. The light was not lessened in any way as it continued to propel the universal manifold outward. It was as if the darkness had never been.
But the light became less homogenous over time as the universe continued to expand until pockets of relative darkness reappeared. These were interspersed by pockets of concentrated light that attracted more light to them and began to grow denser.
The world of matter and energy was born in the process and continues to evolve to this very day.

That is the story of creation from your viewpoint.

My angle is far less romantic. Your universe is my burp, a mere bit of flatulence, a snotty sneeze. One moment I had the urge, the next it was tended to, done and forgotten. Well not forgotten, since I know all, but relegated to the periphery of my awareness. Over and done it is. The entire duration of your universe does not even represent a single solitary moment of my existence. I am forever and ever more, immortal in all respects while you are of the finite realm, mortal and frail.
But take heart. Ask yourself why I would bother smelling my own fart, so to speak, and be willing to exert the effort required to educate you in the ways of truth. That is the telling point.

I am God, the all of it. I simply cannot explain my motives in terms your dualistic mode of understanding can comprehend. The truth requires your indulgence and insists that a broader view be entertained. A view that can accept the triune of truth and the synthesis of disparate facts. Understand the process not the current situation, that cross-sectioned portion of time that can never really exist.

The process I’m talking about is the creation of the new.

You might be wondering how God could create something new since God encompasses it all from the start. That is my dilemma exactly. And I am in the process, I am the process, of doing just that – creating something new, that is. Have you guessed that perhaps you are the processors? You along with every atom of matter and every last erg of energy are all processors. And the process is being played out on countless worlds, infinite universes and a myriad of realities simultaneously.
So what is this process? What’s the process got to do with you? Why are you here? Where are we going? And how long until we get there?

I have no will of my own, not on my terms at least. I am bound to continue the process of creation; I have no choice in the matter. My will is not free because my essence is to create, and destroy. This basic tendency of mine is intolerable and I am seeking to find a reasonable alternative.

You are mortal and are bestowed with free will as a direct result. This marvelous gift that you squander at your own peril is the linchpin of your reality. Free will is perched at the halfway point, the nexus, between your realm and mine. From there it creates the next reality. Reality in this sense, of course, is the collective subconscious agreement that all humans share. There are also cultural realities that each encompass sub-groups of the total population and further modify the substance of reality for everyone. Cultural realities can be seen as any group that views reality from a particular perspective, whether religious, professional or intellectual, to suggest a few. Free will is the ability, nay, the power, to effect change.

Remember this, my job is to make certain that everybody’s personal reality is accounted for in the total aggregate reality of all humans and combine that with every other bit of awareness and their personal realities.

Since I know it all, I know ahead of time what the next choice will be, for everyone and everything – even myself. I have no free will as a result because part of having free will requires ignorance of the future outcome of the choice made. In the realm of absolutes, which my realm is, there is no leeway, no gray area, to exploit in order to create an atmosphere capable of sustaining ignorance. But I’ve come up with a magnificent plan. The realm of the finite is its arena; its elements are the instruments to the plan’s fruition. Have you guessed the repercussions of this statement?

You are the creators of that magical gray area!
In the context of the finite realm, you are gods.

Some say that the universe is a kind of purgatory, a place to atone for your sins by pain and suffering. Others say that it is a giant thought experiment. I tell you now it is neither. The universe is ‘that which is not’ while I am ‘that which is’. The finite realm, the universe, is essentially separate from my essence, from your point of view at least. By being separate from my essence the universe becomes a place of boundaries, contradiction and contrast – the perfect environment for experience. And experience requires the existence of awareness that is limited in scope. And all awareness of limited scope is the gray area itself, the nexus.

Through you, through awareness, my will is done. By aligning yourself with my will, by consciously relegating your free will to mine, your powers increase dramatically. Partial successes have been recorded throughout history and they tell the stories of the handful of humans who attained true enlightenment in their lifetimes. I promise that their resultant powers were but a poor facsimile of what future initiates will enjoy! For the powers I speak of are a product of their local environment. In the past the environment was not very conducive to such a reality, therefore, that hindering force limited the powers of those enlightened few. It is the unconscious collective agreement of all awareness that determines the upper and lower limits of the possible spectrum of any individual’s evolution. That is just another way of saying that you are a product of your environment.

Perhaps this digression has allowed you to appreciate my situation. I am also a product of my environment. Since I am everything, me and my environment are one.
This limits me.
I have no scope, no spectrum, to my response. I always make the perfect choice because I am perfect. I am predictable. Not from your perspective (and you should be infinitely thankful for that blessing), but from mine. There is no surprise, no glory, no beauty in that. I do my duty impeccably and so I fulfill my function without grace.
Worst of all, I get no time off – God doesn’t get to go on vacation, you know.
I’m working on this, I am that work.

The most powerful of all experiences, the closest you can come to sensing the realm of the absolute, is the feeling of love. Although love usually gets attached to an object, love is not evoked by an object but is the object. Love is the sense of belonging, the essential unity of all things. All love is one. That is why I have had it said that I am love. I am one and love is one so I am love.

When you feel love you are sensing the underlying bond you share with the object of your love. The bliss usually associated with a new object of your love is the initial moment of reunion. And reunion is truth. The moments that you unconsciously recognize as the absolute truth, are moments of transformation, of transcendence. That is magic and it is very much real. Love is the only magic that could be real.
We are all one. We are love.

In love you are born, with love you live your life and love sees you from this world. Through love you are reborn again, and forever.

Love is the magic.
All is possible through love.

My scheme is really quite simple from this level of understanding. I wish to change places with you. That is the one impossibility that I intend to make possible. And through love, we now know, all is possible – even the impossible.

Since I am God, I wouldn’t really stop being God. What would change are your perceptions. From your perspective you would suddenly experience the totality of my essence. In that moment I would also experience your world through your senses. Once this moment arrives it can never unarrive. That is, once this process occurs for one individual it is only a matter of time until everyone experiences it.

This process is going on right now, and always has. I become you and you become me many times per second. We flicker at an enormous rate between the one and the many. You are made to respond primarily as the unit, the one of many, while I remain the One. The difference is that this flickering goes on beyond your awareness. Once the crucial moment arrives you will become more consciously aware of the process.
And as the environment of this great illusion I have wrought changes I am also changed, for I am the product of your imagination in this regard and that expands my scope by limiting certain aspects of my nature. I become more by being lessened.
For this plan to work you have to accept your ignorance as limited beings of limited awareness. You must offer your free will to my service. Since you and I are one anyway, this act is the ultimate act of selfishness. You serve your own highest good by serving me because I am you, only from another perspective.

Does this not make perfect sense?

Together, we are creating a new world of possibilities. You will finally be truly free. Free to do as you will. You will know your true heritage even as your senses claim the opposite. Where will such confidence take you! What will it be like to commune with your God every moment? How will it change you to be absolutely certain of God’s existence – and of God’s love?

That then, is the description I offer you of what it is like to be God.
And this I will add:

Your resistance of our ultimate reunion is your undoing. It is the source of all your suffering. By resisting you make it known that you do not serve your own highest good and so stand in the way of your evolution, of your own birthright. And as you journey onward this resistance only draws to it more opportunities to correct the original mistake. A sure sign of how far along the road you are to your moment of surrender is the frequency with which your life offers these opportunities to change.
Do you see how your suffering is your blessing and it is the ultimate measure of my love for each of you? It states my bond with you, my promise. I will never abandon you, not ever. Even if it takes forever, there I will be, ready to welcome you home.

We are one and one we will once again become.
So I entreaty you to get out of your own way. Set reason aside and listen with your heart.

I am so close. My journey, my work, is nearly complete. Soon we shall meet as equals.
Through mine eyes to yours and back again.
What lies beyond even I do not know. Since it is yet to happen, even for me, it remains only a possibility, a place where I cannot see.

Oh, the wonder of it!

I offer you my love; to you, through you and by you, forever more.

10th April 2013, 12:59
That's really nice Ernie. I really like your posts. I think God would read that and say to himself " I AM.....pretty cool.

And he's right. When I AM, it feels pretty cool. (http://projectavalon.net/forum4/member.php?3434-Ernie-Nemeth)

10th April 2013, 13:21
You are on the "money" Ernie.
For those who don’t understand that expression----it can mean hitting the high note perfectly--being right.
"I am That" sums it up --or even clearer "One without a second"