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dynamo
28th April 2013, 13:50
The Top 5 Regrets of The Dying
April 27, 2013 by Joe Martino

http://cdn2.collective-evolution.com/assets/uploads/2013/04/hand-300x197.jpg

A palliative nurse recorded the most common regrets of the dying and put her findings into a book called ‘The Top Five Regrets of The Dying.’ It’s not surprising to see what made the list as they are all things that touch each of our lives as we struggle to pay attention to and make time for things that we truly love. Below is the list of each regret along with an excerpt from the book. At the bottom is also a link to the book for anyone interested in checking it out.

One thing on regret before we get to the list. It’s important to remember that whatever stage we are at in life, there is no need for regret. The process of regret is one that provides nothing but suffering for ourselves as we begin to allow the past to dictate how we should feel now. Instead, we can use the past as a reference point to understand what adjustments we would like to make moving forward. The adjustments do not have to come out of pain, sorrow, regret or judgment, but simply a choice to do things in a different way. We are learning all the time, we can very quickly slow that learning process down by getting stuck in the idea of regret. When it comes to making changes, be at peace with the past and remember that each moment is a new choice.

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

“This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.”


2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

“Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

”This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”

Source:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Top-Five-Regrets-Dying/dp/1848509995/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1367096226&sr=8-1&keywords=top+regrets+of+the+dying

bram
28th April 2013, 14:29
wonderful post- thank you for this!

northstar
28th April 2013, 21:00
Awesome, Dynamo!
My older family members have begun to sicken and die the last few years and I have been contemplating death a lot lately, but not in a morbid or depressed way. I have been reflecting on my life and what is truly important to me and what is not important. And most of my conclusions are that relationships, peace of mind, following my bliss, and service to others are far more important than "getting more bright and shiny stuff". :)

Stephen Covey wrote about this a long time ago. In one of his books he talked about an exercise he did with people where he asked them to imagine being on their deathbed and share what would be most important if they knew they only had a few more hours to live. They all said they wished they had spent more time with loved ones! Not one person said "I wished I had spent more time at the office".

dynamo
28th April 2013, 21:14
Awesome, Dynamo!
My older family members have begun to sicken and die the last few years and I have been contemplating death a lot lately, but not in a morbid or depressed way. I have been reflecting on my life and what is truly important to me and what is not important. And most of my conclusions are that relationships, peace of mind, following my bliss, and service to others are far more important than "getting more bright and shiny stuff". :)

Stephen Covey wrote about this a long time ago. In one of his books he talked about an exercise he did with people where he asked them to imagine being on their deathbed and share what would be most important if they knew they only had a few more hours to live. They all said they wished they had spent more time with loved ones! Not one person said "I wished I had spent more time at the office".
Thanks Northstar.
I myself am going through a sort of metamorphosis, an awakening.
A desire to get off the "rat-race" treadmill and follow my heart and dreams.
Now, to muster up the courage and prevail; I feel my time spent here during this manifestation would be much more positive, not only for myself but for those I love and make contact with.

Mandala
29th April 2013, 03:39
Very insightful for all the living.

JohnEAngel
29th April 2013, 03:58
at the corporation where i work about 10 years ago there was an individual who gave a class and if i remember correctly it had something to do with some motivational mumbo-jumbo or so i thought. i had listened to him several times before and i always got a good vibe from him. this particular class or meeting he talked about regrets. i can't remember most of what he said but what is important is what i took away from that. i do clearly remember though that he said if you are getting ready to do something questionable, you should stop and ask yourself if you might regret it later. if the answer is yes, then hey, don't do it. my life since then has been regret-free, sincerely.

jackovesk
29th April 2013, 04:00
The Top 5 Regrets of The Dying

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.



Tick...

I'm ready to go now...:)

Craig
29th April 2013, 05:40
Perhaps there is an unseen force keeping the majority stuck to the wheel of work knowing full well that something wondrous may befall us should we spend more time with family away from work.

Written during an audio conference that I couldn't escape from