Youniverse
8th June 2013, 21:53
Hello family! So I'd been in a funk or depression for several months, until I decided that was enough. Who decided it was enough? I did. Not the mental construct or the 'little I' that can also be called 'me,' but the real I. The I that is consciousness itself, rooted in being. More specifically, I identified the cause of my depression as not accepting what is or the suchness of what IS, and I was constantly feeling like "this should not be happening," or "this situation or set of circumstances is wrong." This is how we get trapped in forms, the outward manifestations of the ego. When we try to find ourselves in the world we get lost in it. We cannot find ourselves where we ultimately are not. If we look to things or thought forms/concepts of this world for direction and clarity, we are asking a 'madman' for directions. We are looking into disfunction and expecting it to provide function. We are expecting sanity from insanity. And utlimately the things and concepts of this world are insane, even the ones that appear to be more pure and helpful on the outside, because they are derived from the ego.
So as soon as I recognized that I had not been accepting, or in a state of surrender to what IS, I immediately felt a little bit better. Then that feeling started to grow into much better. After that I also realized that I had become absorbed into my so-called problems, as if they were a genuine part of me. Well actually, they were a part of 'me', but not a part of I or 'I am.' Problems will always be a part of the ego, or at least those matters that the ego turns into problems. More and more I created space between I and the ego. More and more I remember to see "this is the situation, and this is how I feel/think about the situation." More and more, situations and concepts and feelings lose their heaviness and suffocating sensation. Lightness has returned to everything I'm engaged in. That feeling of lightness, naturally comes in when I continue to realize that I am not the creations or manifestations. I am the one that notices them. I am not the 'problems' as the ego sees them. Rather, I am the one that sees the ego seeing situations and feelings as a problem. And I laugh! Not in a condescending sort of way, but in a "how could I have let myself be duped into this madness again?" sort of way.
So did all the issues and personal matters just disappear or float away? Not really, although on some level they did because I stopped identifying with those issues as a part of who I really am. There still are things I need to address, it's just HOW I address them that has changed. I will notice as soon as the ego starts to turn them into personal problems and see the seperation between my thoughts/feelings and what the issue actually is.
For awhile the ego even convinced me that it was somehow spiritually aware, or more accurately, as far is the ego is concerned, you are more aware or awake than some, and not as much as others. First of all, the ego and awareness are mutually exclusive. You can't have one and have the other at the same time. Ego is the opposite of awareness, it is unconsciousness. And the ego will always experience some sense of lack (I'm not as aware as others are) or a sense of 'more than' (I'm more aware than some). Ultimately you are either awake or you are not. Perhaps there are gradations of awareness as you experience the slipping away of inessentials brought on by diligent spiritual practices, but consciousness itself does not lack anything, it just IS.
A great way to remind oneself of your true nature is to reflect on a symbol for the Buddha (forgive me, I forgot which language it was written). The important part for the purpose here is that it is a symbol with two characters. One character stands for "man," and the other "not man." So what does this imply? It implies that there is ego and there is consciousness. The two are not the same. However, as is still the case for much of humanity, they are confused over and over again. The Buddha was the Buddha because he was able to sort out that which is consciousness from that which is ego. And yet, he allowed each to BE, in total acceptance of what is. He did not make them enemies of each other. He did not make the ego into some sort of personal problem. Then he experienced great peace and joy in the realization of who he really is. The same peace and joy each of us can experience when we live in the timelessness of the now, and stop creating more time to get lost in. Thanks for listening!
So as soon as I recognized that I had not been accepting, or in a state of surrender to what IS, I immediately felt a little bit better. Then that feeling started to grow into much better. After that I also realized that I had become absorbed into my so-called problems, as if they were a genuine part of me. Well actually, they were a part of 'me', but not a part of I or 'I am.' Problems will always be a part of the ego, or at least those matters that the ego turns into problems. More and more I created space between I and the ego. More and more I remember to see "this is the situation, and this is how I feel/think about the situation." More and more, situations and concepts and feelings lose their heaviness and suffocating sensation. Lightness has returned to everything I'm engaged in. That feeling of lightness, naturally comes in when I continue to realize that I am not the creations or manifestations. I am the one that notices them. I am not the 'problems' as the ego sees them. Rather, I am the one that sees the ego seeing situations and feelings as a problem. And I laugh! Not in a condescending sort of way, but in a "how could I have let myself be duped into this madness again?" sort of way.
So did all the issues and personal matters just disappear or float away? Not really, although on some level they did because I stopped identifying with those issues as a part of who I really am. There still are things I need to address, it's just HOW I address them that has changed. I will notice as soon as the ego starts to turn them into personal problems and see the seperation between my thoughts/feelings and what the issue actually is.
For awhile the ego even convinced me that it was somehow spiritually aware, or more accurately, as far is the ego is concerned, you are more aware or awake than some, and not as much as others. First of all, the ego and awareness are mutually exclusive. You can't have one and have the other at the same time. Ego is the opposite of awareness, it is unconsciousness. And the ego will always experience some sense of lack (I'm not as aware as others are) or a sense of 'more than' (I'm more aware than some). Ultimately you are either awake or you are not. Perhaps there are gradations of awareness as you experience the slipping away of inessentials brought on by diligent spiritual practices, but consciousness itself does not lack anything, it just IS.
A great way to remind oneself of your true nature is to reflect on a symbol for the Buddha (forgive me, I forgot which language it was written). The important part for the purpose here is that it is a symbol with two characters. One character stands for "man," and the other "not man." So what does this imply? It implies that there is ego and there is consciousness. The two are not the same. However, as is still the case for much of humanity, they are confused over and over again. The Buddha was the Buddha because he was able to sort out that which is consciousness from that which is ego. And yet, he allowed each to BE, in total acceptance of what is. He did not make them enemies of each other. He did not make the ego into some sort of personal problem. Then he experienced great peace and joy in the realization of who he really is. The same peace and joy each of us can experience when we live in the timelessness of the now, and stop creating more time to get lost in. Thanks for listening!