View Full Version : 23 Signs You're Secretly An Introvert

21st August 2013, 17:55
I've read a lot of personality profiles and hints from other area's that say I should be an introvert, but I always thought "no way, I do fine in crowds; I'm not mousy or quiet or anything.. I've gotta be an extrovert".

I found this article very interesting & it pretty much nailed me to a T... (so I guess I just conform more than I thought, haha).

Think you can spot an introvert in a crowd? Think again. Although the stereotypical introvert may be the one at the party who's hanging out alone by the food table fiddling with an iPhone, the "social butterfly" can just as easily have an introverted personality.

"Spotting the introvert can be harder than finding Waldo," Sophia Dembling, author of "The Introvert's Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World," tells The Huffington Post. "A lot of introverts can pass as extroverts."

People are frequently unaware that they’re introverts -– especially if they’re not shy -- because they may not realize that being an introvert is about more than just cultivating time alone. Instead, it can be more instructive to pay attention to whether they're losing or gaining energy from being around others, even if the company of friends gives them pleasure.

“Introversion is a basic temperament, so the social aspect -- which is what people focus on -- is really a small part of being an introvert," Dr. Marti Olsen Laney, psychotherapist and author of "The Introvert Advantage," said in a Mensa discussion. "It affects everything in your life.”

Despite the growing conversation around introversion, it remains a frequently misunderstood personality trait. As recently as 2010, the American Psychiatric Association even considered classifying "introverted personality" as a disorder by listing it in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5), a manual used to diagnose mental illness.

But more and more introverts are speaking out about what it really means to be a "quiet" type. Not sure if you're an innie or an outie? See if any of these 23 telltale signs of introversion apply to you.

1. You find small talk incredibly cumbersome.
Introverts are notoriously small talk-phobic, as they find idle chatter to be a source of anxiety, or at least annoyance. For many quiet types, chitchat can feel disingenuous.

“Let's clear one thing up: Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people," Laurie Helgoe writes in "Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength." "We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.”

2. You go to parties -– but not to meet people.

If you're an introvert, you may sometimes enjoy going to parties, but chances are, you're not going because you're excited to meet new people. At a party, most introverts would rather spend time with people they already know and feel comfortable around. If you happen to meet a new person that you connect with, great -- but meeting people is rarely the goal.

3. You often feel alone in a crowd.

Ever feel like an outsider in the middle of social gatherings and group activities, even with people you know?

"If you tend to find yourself feeling alone in a crowd, you might be an introvert," says Dembling. "We might let friends or activities pick us, rather than extending our own invitations."

4. Networking makes you feel like a phony.

Networking (read: small-talk with the end goal of advancing your career) can feel particularly disingenuous for introverts, who crave authenticity in their interactions.

"Networking is stressful if we do it in the ways that are stressful to us," Dembling says, advising introverts to network in small, intimate groups rather than at large mixers.

5. You've been called "too intense."
Do you have a penchant for philosophical conversations and a love of thought-provoking books and movies? If so, you're a textbook introvert.

"Introverts like to jump into the deep end," says Dembling.

6. You're easily distracted.

While extroverts tend to get bored easily when they don't have enough to do, introverts have the opposite problem -- they get easily distracted and overwhelmed in environments with an excess of stimulation.

"Extroverts are commonly found to be more easily bored than introverts on monotonous tasks, probably because they require and thrive on high levels of stimulation," Clark University researchers wrote in a paper published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. "In contrast, introverts are more easily distracted than extroverts and, hence, prefer relatively unstimulating environments."

7. Downtime doesn’t feel unproductive to you.

One of the most fundamental characteristics of introverts is that they need time alone to recharge their batteries. Whereas an extrovert might get bored or antsy spending a day at home alone with tea and a stack of magazines, this sort of down time feels necessary and satisfying to an introvert.

8. Giving a talk in front of 500 people is less stressful than having to mingle with those people afterwards.

Introverts can be excellent leaders and public speakers -- and although they're stereotyped as being the shrinking violet, they don't necessarily shy away from the spotlight. Performers like Lady Gaga, Christina Aguilera and Emma Watson all identify as introverts, and an estimated 40 percent of CEOs have introverted personalities. Instead, an introvert might struggle more with meeting and greeting large groups of people on an individual basis.

Read the rest here:

pretty interesting.

21st August 2013, 18:20
Sounds like me.

21st August 2013, 18:33
Great post.

For most my life I was forcing myself to be extroverted and thought I was failing as a social animal. Now I am very comfortable and accepting of my introvertedness and I'm much happier.

Now I can have great fun with a crowd of people for short bursts and then go be alone, rather than spend all day with people and feel miserable.

21st August 2013, 18:42
Depending on the environment and the intelligence around me I can be very extro and very intro, depends. I dont like to bottle myself by thinking in terms of blacknwhite, we live in a world of infinite shades of grey.

21st August 2013, 19:21
I've had people tell me I'm an extrovert but what do they know! lol! I've taught myself to be sociable when I'm with people. But what people don't know is that I spend a lot of time alone and prefer it that way. Too much company and too much talking drains me. Time alone re-charges my batteries. From what I've read on the subject the key to telling an introvert from an extrovert is determined by whether company/social activity drains or energizes. Of course there's a lot more to it, as said above, but that's the bottom line. Great thread!

21st August 2013, 19:45
The only thing Not me on the list is the dislike of networking.I found very early on, that it is an excellent way of achieving things for either myself or others. I see it as more efficient/effective.

I never considered myself to be introverted, probably because it had negative overtones attached...less able, less interesting...or just less, which I dont think is true at all.

Its a pity the choice seems to be one or the other -introvert, extrovert. Still, thats better than having the choice of either 'deep' or 'shallow'. I find alot of extroverts are shallow and seem more concerned with meaningless drivel.
Looks like I need to do more work on not being judgemental,lol

21st August 2013, 20:36
Very good insights about introverts and.....YAY!!! I'm an introvert!! It's so much fun being a loner and you can have the most intelligent conversations with yourself! Since I love to argue (debate?) I often just argue with myself and try to disprove something I think (fleetingly) that I might believe. It's a foregone conclusion that just about anything can be disproved and nothing can be proved absolutely, so that's always fun. I find myself to be wonderful company and luckily I'm married to another loner. Life is good!

21st August 2013, 21:04
Common misinterpretation of what an introvert is. He/she's an information gatherer. Looks and dwells within,
because that's where reality really is. Classic that material mind would regard it as a 'disorder'.
Paula started a Meyers-Briggs personality test thread not too long ago. A lot of personal insight available.
Here's an example. http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm
Search out a few versions and see if you get the same results.

There's another recent study that's been done on what they've called 'sensitives' again from the perspective of 'disorder'
which seems ridiculous.
Apparently 20% or so of the population fit the syndrome. They receive 5 times or more sensory information, which I guess could be a 'problem' if you don't know how to integrate it all. Interestingly, chronic fatigue in its forms is a problem exclusive to this group.

21st August 2013, 21:12
I was more extroverted, but I am becoming more introverted or perhaps introspective.

21st August 2013, 21:42
I also identfy with the introvert personality. Love my family, and some friends. But need to be alone a good part of the day. Comfortable in my own company and an interesting book. ha.

22nd August 2013, 03:22
I am here to entertain , that's what I do , everything is funny to me, and I make sure it's funny for everyone else ...life is kinda a joke anyway , 10 percent while I'm awake, 90 percent when I sleep ??? somebody's got a sense of humor ... I can switch and operate in both worlds ...

22nd August 2013, 04:11
To be called an introvert is a put down in our extroverted society and now even the DSM-5 lists it as a disorder. Of course that gives Big Pharma more chance to get drugs prescribed.

22nd August 2013, 04:21
The article summarizes me very well. God, I hate small talk. It's so robotic and vacuous to me. It's a relief to me when I'm with a friend who is good at small talk when I get into those situations, so they can do most of it for me, and then I'll chime in once someone utters something of substance.

22nd August 2013, 05:36
Definitely an introvert, and yes I always choose the seat at the end by the doors on the train! At present I am working in an open-place office doing copywriting (fashion so I have to be there to see the clothes in order to write about them) and I am not distracted at all. I can be absorbed in what I do and just not get involved in what is going on around me. I've learnt to do the small talk but find it easier to do with strangers.

22nd August 2013, 15:39
Definitely an introvert, and yes I always choose the seat at the end by the doors on the train! At present I am working in an open-place office doing copywriting (fashion so I have to be there to see the clothes in order to write about them) and I am not distracted at all. I can be absorbed in what I do and just not get involved in what is going on around me. I've learnt to do the small talk but find it easier to do with strangers.

Small talk it seems is something of an art form, a form of art that I find is truly dying. 60yrs ago while standing and waiting for coffee the folks in line might mingle and joke with the waiters and workers behind the bar, now everyone has submitted themselves to posting cat pics on facebook and googling who was casted for the original batman. Things have changed. As they have and will continue to do so. With older people and ones of past generations I find I can sit and bs and small talk all day long, its never been so fun talking about the weather, but when it comes to younger generations the talk and the banter is totally arbitrary and generally just makes me want to walk threw a glass door, talking about beiber or what the royal baby looks like when he woke up this morning. :facepalm:

22nd August 2013, 15:50
shucks im a total introvert