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View Full Version : I cry for help, guidance and advice in these difficult times!



TruthSeekerUK
13th October 2013, 21:38
Fellow Avalon members,

As this is my first post, I would like to formally introduce myself and extend my warm thanks and appreciation to the Avalon team for allowing me the privilege of being here today. I consider it an honour that you accepted me as a provisional member and gave me the opportunity to share my thoughts with you today.

I am a big fan and follower of Project Avalon’s work. I have followed Bill’s (and Kerry’s) courageous journey from the original Camelot days up until the present day, and I greatly admire everything Bill and the Avalon team are doing to reach out to people and help them open their minds to the truth in this world.


So why am I writing this post?
The simple truth of the matter is I come here today looking for help.


The sad fact is that I am having a crisis of confidence, meaning, and life direction. I also hope this thread may serve to be some form of inspiration for others who may be in similar situations, as I’m sure there most likely will be. The information I’m about to provide is personal to me but also provides no identifying information and I hope is generic enough for people of different backgrounds to relate to.


Firstly, I’d like to give you some background as to why I wanted to join Project Avalon in the first place....


I'm sure I can relate to most of the members here on this forum when I say that I have been exposed to, and studied, most of what the general public might be all too keen to label "conspiratorial" or "kooky" material. I have studied everything from 9-11, to government cover-ups, the mass media and corporations, illuminati bloodlines, ETs, ancient history, economic/financial fraud, potential "end-game" scenarios and plans, and eventually moving to cosmic understandings, spirituality (and my own understanding of what that actually means to me), mysteries of the universe and its workings, the human mind (how we perceive the universe, but also how it can be manipulated/corrupted), and generally anything that is interesting and challenges one’s belief systems to keep an open mind and gain greater understanding of the world we live in.

Over the last 10 years, I have gone through what I consider to be the biggest shift in my world perspective that I have ever experienced. It is something that, until recently, I had always considered a blessing. After all, knowledge is power! Unfortunately, in recent months, it seems to have been causing me a great deal of confusion, worry and stress in my life, for reasons I shall explain.


But first, I feel some history and context is needed…


I am a young man in his mid-20s and I live what most would call a “normal” western life. Working 9-5, paying bills, living for the weekends, enjoying the “good life” of a typical young person keen to make their mark in society and discover the fruits of the world. From a very young age, I had always been naturally curious about the world and was fascinated by how things worked; anything from the washing machine in my parents’ kitchen, to the flight of the birds outside my bedroom window, to the mysteries of the stars in the night sky. I was renowned for being a “fiddler” (my dad would shout at me for “messing” with things, taking things apart to see what was inside). It was this overwhelming curiosity that gave me a great imagination and a drive to be creative, to build things and develop my understanding of how things worked. This curiosity eventually developed over time towards machines and computers, driving my passion for technical knowledge, eventually leading me down the path of software development - something which has now become my career path. Simultaneously, as the internet was becoming more popular, so too was my thirst for other types of knowledge, which eventually evolved and expanded into more of a search for understanding of the world and the universe; a search for meaning and truth, if you will. This is when my journey through “alternative” knowledge and truth began, around the ripe age of about 16.

This quest for knowledge has unfortunately come with its own challenges, one of which being general life-path choices. Although I have been fascinated and very passionate about my quest for such knowledge, I have done so with a great sense of caution and secrecy. I have not been very open and honest with friends and family about what I have been learning (or at least very little – only economic issues and things that sounded “normal” and not too far-fetched) mainly due to fear and embarrassment of public ridicule.

It didn’t start this way though. When I first started discovering these things (the first being 9/11) I was questioning and discussing it with friends, but they were all too quick to joke and tease me about it, calling me crazy and gullible, meanwhile refusing to look at what I’d discovered. It was also difficult for me to convincingly explain these discoveries, as my understanding was sparse, incomplete, and narrow-minded to only a handful of topics which, at the time, was missing the “big picture” perspective that I now feel I possess. Nevertheless, curiosity got the better of me and I continued to dig deeper, but without anyone else knowing. Not even my family.

Meanwhile, I was continuing my “normal” adolescent life, going through college/university, getting my degree and continuing down the technical/software career path. I was pretending to be a “regular kid” who was ignorant of this “alternative” knowledge, in an attempt to fit in with everyone else – something which, today, I am ashamed to admit and I regret, but I realise I lacked the confidence to share it with others. At the same time, I was still enjoying the “good life” and the excitement of growing up. Academic and career success kept my life progressing upwards. It seemed as though I had developed a flawed way of thinking; that this “alternative” knowledge about the harsh truths in the world didn’t truly affect me much because times were good. It’s almost as if I was becoming desensitised to all the “bad news” and was just watching all these stories about society, government, elites, corruption, the economy, etc. from a safe distance, almost like one giant disaster movie. At the same time, I was already taking certain steps to secure my financial position (given my new found understanding of economics/currency/money/etc…) which also put my mind at rest for the most part.

As the years have passed, however, I am now settled in my first proper job, away from home. The fun exciting times are dwindling. Routine and reality is kicking in. And that reality is: I’m on my own, miles away from home/family, and work has become hard, unfulfilling and stressful. It feels like the good times are over, so to speak. At the same time, all this “bad news” hasn’t gone away. Times haven’t changed and the problems of the world still exist. As childish as I feel for only just realising this, it’s only just starting to really sink in that these issues are real and that I am going to be affected. It’s not a movie, it’s real! That’s a terrifying feeling. The economy is not getting any better, people will continue to lose their jobs, currencies could enter into high- or even hyper-inflation, society could quickly fall into chaos and panic. The world may very well not be a nice place to live in a few years.

I sometimes feel as though everything I’ve been working towards in my life and career was all for nothing. The terrifying thought of “What’s the point?” often pops in my head. I constantly ask myself if I’m wasting time working in IT because it’s not going to solve anything! It almost feels like none of it matters because there are so many more important problems to attend to! Yet, at the same time, I feel that I don’t want to just throw away everything I’ve worked so hard for. Everything I’ve done to get where I am today. It’s as if my life has lost all meaning. With every waking day, I am feeling more and more disconnected from society, or the “general public”, because nobody around me shares the same views. For the first time in my life, I feel truly alone.

This has all recently resulted in high levels of anxiety, stress and even panic attacks. I’ve started seeing a hypnotherapist to try to reduce my stress and increase my confidence and self-esteem. I’ve sometimes been crying myself to sleep at night, worrying what the future holds for us, worrying about my future. Will I meet the right person to share my life with? One who shares my views? Will I be able to have children and raise them properly in such a demoralised and corrupt societal system? Will I be able to provide for them and protect them from the dangers we face? Will I even be “allowed” to have children?

I feel like I can’t properly talk to people about these issues because the average person still thinks everything is perfectly fine and will either call me paranoid/crazy, or I will just make matters worse by making them worry/panic. I feel alone, confused, lost and scared. I feel that I’m losing all sense of direction in life, confused as to which path to take. It has taken me a while to realise this and admit to myself that I need help!

So here I am, asking for help. In all honesty, I don’t really know what it is I’m asking for, which I must admit sounds incredibly childish and selfish. Obviously, the last thing I expect is to have all the right answers handed to me on a silver platter. I know the world obviously doesn’t work like that. I realise that life is a journey and we’re all taking our own directions and we have our own destinations. I guess all I’m really asking for is somebody to talk to; somebody to discuss these problems with and glean some advice.

If you’ve managed to get this far through my ramblings of worry, I admire and appreciate your patience, and I thank you for your understanding. Rest assured, I feel very selfish for essentially “dumping” my thoughts and my worries onto this forum, but I fear this is the only way I can get things off my chest and liberate myself from my thoughts; something which I badly needed to do.

As I mentioned earlier, my hope is that this thread can become useful to others and an inspiration for those going through similar situations and life changes.

Once again, thank you for your patience and understanding, and I welcome your comments and thoughts.

With love and respect,
TSUK

Lifebringer
13th October 2013, 22:07
Sounds like you came to the right place. I've seen your music on YT and I think it's great. Reflects your awakening. Yes, it feels alone when dealing with family that isn't aware or awake. WE are here whenever you need us, for as long as you need us. I still do my searching or "researching for truth by myself" I am working with self, and so it's time to work on self. I've done everything I could for everyone I loved. Advised em, taught them, cleaned up after them, took up for them, the sad part is most never did that for me. They were selfish, but still needed love and advice on how to get back with the Creator, to be fullfilled. You see the path of good, is trumped with surprises. Some good some bad, but always with surprises. Trying to be prepared for them is the only way I know how, because the school of hard knocks, never closes.

Seems the negative people and their energy are busy, and the sky full of dense clouds, where you can see neither night or day, it will effect your mood, like a plant without sun, and drain you of energy, which can sometimes leave you feeling melancholy. I'm letting my energy focus on completion of a couple of books with info I was told to write. When it was coming through, I questioned whether I'd be labled a nut, "just put it in sci fi, so that's what Im doing. You'll be alright, and the future is a little frightening as we are in middle of battle for good, and each person awakens according to whatever they gave themselves as a signal to wake up at whatever time they chose.

Perhaps it was your music, the tones that brought you back to this time your at and you came here to "know if you're alright." It's tough, nobody promised us a rose garden, but yes, you'll be fine. Purging of confusion and programming and learning tolerance, seems to be where you are now, as you realize, you woke up first.

I'll be looking out for ya, if you have any questions, don't know much, learning like the rest, but I felt your reach and responded.

Godspeed and understanding TruthSeekaUK, welcome to the communication side of the site.

I find when I focus on other's troubles that need prayers of healing and such, helps me to forget about me, and I feel better. Maybe it's time to practice helping others in your focus. Be it music, word, thought share or otherwise poetry. Let it all hang out it's okay. Keep control or try to train yourself not to react in anger, but understanding and brotherly love or sisterly love.

It works if you work it.

christian
13th October 2013, 22:22
Everything you own ends up owning you. To develop your true potential you´ve got to let go of what holds you back. Don´t worry about meeting like-minded people, first focus on your own integrity and then everything falls into place. Of course the way to get there is hard, it makes sense to do it smart and smoothly, not wrecking what you got in the process but focusing on making a gentle transition into what you really want to do. And I think that´s the question. What do you really want to do with your life? Find it out and go for it one hundred percent, never back down. It may be the hardest thing you´ve ever done, you may be broke as a joke and experience all kinds of hardships, but if you´re really committed and don´t give up the rewards will be there. You´ve got to trust that those who truly work to bring out the best in themselves and in others will always get support just in time. In the body you´re in now, you only live once. Make sure that when you come to the end of this soul-container´s life you will not look back and regret not having dared to follow your heart´s desires.

Thanks very much for sharing and all the best to you! :)

varuna
13th October 2013, 22:34
..welcome TruthSeekerUK...you have already made a wonderful contribution to this community by speaking your truth, aspects of which I have and do share with you. It is not easy to have a purposeful existence here knowing what you know, but slowly you will find meaning to your life and the gifts you have to share with us this community and the world.
All good wishes to you. V:grouphug:

william r sanford72
13th October 2013, 22:36
your music is wonderfful.much heart in it.your age is a blessing and u have nothing to hold you back??from whatever path or paths you take??..welcome to avalon.

TruthSeekerUK
13th October 2013, 22:57
Thank you all for your kind words and wisdom.

Sorry to burst anyone's bubble, but I just need to point out that I'm not the same "TruthSeekerUK" from YouTube. A mere coincidence I'm afraid. In all honesty, I didn't know that such a name existed on YouTube. I was going to choose just "TruthSeeker" as a name, but it was already taken. :)

...but please do keep your thoughts and comments coming. I very much appreciate your support, and I thank you for the quick and insightful responses!

Bubu
13th October 2013, 23:06
Trust your instincts and "Just do it". The more you think about it the more you will be confuse. Embarrassment and all will happen it's all part of it. But the only way to conquer fear is to face it. There is no other way.

been there done that
good luck

Orph
13th October 2013, 23:27
Don't live in the future. Don't live in the future. Don't live in the future. Your anxiety and fears are about something that doesn't exist in you present now moment.

We all have a life energy deep within us. Find it. Feel it. Be it. I've spent my entire life asking the same questions as you. Wondering the same things as you. Career, soul-mate, children, what's my purpose, blah-blah-blah. Where has it gotten me after all these years? Just older. But, I have recently found that life energy that is deep within me. I don't quite feel it 24/7, but I do feel it more and more often and for longer periods of time when I do. And now I know it isn't about what's "out there". It isn't about what society, family, or anybody else thinks I should be. I may lose my job tomorrow, and be out on the streets the next day. Doesn't matter. That life energy deep inside matters. Right now, that's my sole purpose. (or should I say, soul purpose). To learn to feel, cultivate, and grow that life energy. I think that at some point we all have to quit looking outside of ourselves. Quit asking other people for their opinions. Feel the power of you. Just feel it. Don't worry about what to do with it. Just feel it. YOU.

As you know, each of us has our own path to follow. So take what I say with a grain of salt. It may be of use to you, or it may be a waste of your time. But eventually I think you'll find that one day, your own self is going to come up to you and say, "Tag. You're it". :meeting:

M6*
13th October 2013, 23:31
Dear TSUK,

Congratulations on becoming a Provisional Member of this wonderful place called Avalon. (I'm sure it won't be long until you make it to the "Big Time" as a full fledged member:-)
On that day you will be thinking, "Well, I must have done SOMETHING right!".....amidst all this chaos that is swirling all around me. Or, at least that was what I thought;-)

So many of us want things FIXED ..... RIGHT NOW....and forget how long it took us to even form the QUESTIONS....let alone get ourselves in a position to recieve the ANSWERS!
From one Truth seeker to another....I honestly believe that we are sometimes led to the place where we can take the next step in our journey, and sometimes that doesn't happen
until we are almost at the very end of our rope and wonder if we can hang on any longer!

It seems to me that you have built a wonderful foundation for the rest of your life and I do believe there is a lot of guidance here in this place for those of us who have made it this far:-)

Welcome to the forum!

M6*

Tesla_WTC_Solution
13th October 2013, 23:34
Truthseeker, you are definitely NOT alone.
9/11 and other events/discoveries have affected many people.
It's hard to feel safe or happy in the wake of such turmoil.
One has only to look at the world, and at history, to see this.

You will find friends here. There are so many good people here.
That or they are great at pretending, hehe just kidding. :)

I've only been here for about 9/10 of a year.
Overall experience = positive.
I know we are not supposed to compare, but this forum > many other forums.
It's more than a revolving door of drama. Every place has drama but not every place handles it as well.

I was in my first semester of college when 9/11 happened. You understand what it feels like;
I get the impression you are not far from my age, though I could be wrong.

May you find strength.

ghostrider
14th October 2013, 00:28
There are electronic impulses and silent weapons that most are unaware of , they can cause an emotional roller coaster ... Not saying this is what is happening to you , it's just good to know ... I would ask myself , where did this feeling come from ??? learning to control your emotions takes time , and life can throw curve balls right when you don't need them , the journey is one step at a time , be patient and be on the lookout for synergy ... the path is easy when you know what to look for , the same thought, idea , or answer will come in three's ... example, say you are wondering where exactly to live in town , you meet a stranger and they start talking about where they live , then you meet another stranger and they out of the blue say oh I used to live there , then you walk into a store and the first thing you see is the name of the place that been jumping at you all day long from many angles = synergy ... you are still young , and have plenty of time to figure things out ... so hang in there , keep an open mind , and learn to listen , there is an inner voice , a still small voice that will help , it's part of the journey , learning to pick up on subtle signs meant just for you ... be in peace friend ...

Lettherebelight
14th October 2013, 00:36
I think this is an important thread.
I am sure there are many young people, many more than we know, who are starting out in life as adults, feeling the same way as TruthSeeker, questioning society, and looking for a more meaningful way to live their life and help the world become a better place.
People like TruthSeeker need our support, so they can find the strength to act as the beacons they are destined to be for the many others who yearn for a better way.
Don't feel alone, TruthSeeker, all your knowledge can be used for Good...and you will find the answers you seek!

Bright Garlick
14th October 2013, 01:07
Dear Tsuk :

Thanks for a very heart felt post. You typify the existential crisis that hits many of us at different points in our life. I too experienced such a crisis in my early 20's. Although we didn't have the internet. I knew about many other things and could not readily adjust to the world.

I made the following video to help young people who are struggling with life. Maybe it will be of help to you too.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wjr_OLiyD8

If I could offer a few short points to help you, it would be the following :

Be present to everything that is in your life - don't try to escape anything.
Feel everything - deny or hide or suppress nothing.
Live as much as you can in the now.
Know yourself - examine your mind, your emotions, your behaviours, your body.
Examine your attachments (things you are attached to) and the things that you avoid.
Notice how what you like or dislike leads to attachment and aversion. These are the causes of suffering.
Make time for silence and stillness as often as you can.
Connect with your body - make time to feel the sensations of your body.
Do something good - cultivate compassion - help 1 other person, plant trees, volunteer some time to help others less priviledged than yourself.
Create the right influences in your life. Screen out the things that cause you the most suffering - eg. bad news, alternative news, preoccupation with busting out of the matrix, the world is dominated by Reptilians etc.
Spend time in the outdoors - connect with trees, animals, plants, people and special places.
Spend time in the sun.
Find what you love - what creates vitality and joy and focus your energy on these things.
Find what is at the CORE of your dreams.
Trust that you ARE on the right PATH and that everything happens for a reason.
Know that you are loved by more beings than you can imagine (the living, ET's, dead people, other entities etc).
Avoid extremes.
Make an effort to find positive meaning in the things that happen in your life.
Examine the stories that you tell yourself. Create new, healthier stories that transform your life.
Allow yourself to be vulnerable and sensitive and trust your vulnerability.
Be true to yourself. What do you need ? What is the cry of your soul trying to teach you ?


Here are some other resources that maybe of use to you Tsuk : http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?64304-Psychotherpy-and-Spiritual-Development-at-the-Leading-Edge.
The best cure for worry is mindfulness. Mindfulness of the mind's endless chatter (especially the preoccupation with past or future), mindfulness of emotions and emotional states, mindfulness of the body and mindfulness of one's actions.

It is great that you are seeing a hypnotherapist but it may not be sufficient to address the root causes. If you would consider it, I would encourage you to see a GOOD Gestalt Therapist (there are plenty to be found on the web). A GT will help you connect with the mental and feeling states you are experiencing and root out their causes and help you work towards a fuller healing and transformation of how you function. Alternatively a good Process Psychology (Arnold Mindell's work) therapist would also be invaluable. But they are harder to find.

Trust in yourself Tsuk and in your own path.

Best wishes to you,

Bright. :peace:

Robin
14th October 2013, 01:24
Here are some realizations that always make me feel better when I also ponder our daunting, inconvenient reality:

You are an infinate being having an individual experience on Earth at this point in time and are one fractal of the only thing that exists: Creation.
You are everything that is, ever was, and ever can be.
You create your own reality, and as humanity we co-create our own reality on Earth. Whatever we decide as a collective we can manifest.
Everything that has happened in your past is nothing more than a story. You are a character living in a play that is more epic than any fictionalized story or film produced by mankind!


Also, I find the following two clips from the Lord of the Rings films never fail to cheer me up and steer me in a positive direction:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RemBy5yeW8g


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Soe8ayi3ScE

Robin
14th October 2013, 01:28
Also, one of the most sensational poems ever written and appreciated:

The Road Not Taken
Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

spiritguide
14th October 2013, 01:40
TruthSeekerUK, Welcome! The journey is one step at a time and as you will find the path is through the heart. If you have not yet, read some of the wingmakers material for a unique perspective of living through the heart. Fear not all is as it should be.

Peace!

ceetee9
14th October 2013, 04:31
TSUK,

First, let me say welcome to Avalon. Great first post!

Your story sounds a lot like mine. But since I'll soon be 62 and am still searching for truth and attempting to sort everything out myself, I don't know how much help I can realistically offer you. But be that as it may, I will offer you a bit of my story and what has, for the most part, worked for me.

I, like you, loved to take things apart to see how they worked--and see if I could put them back together again and have them still function. ;) I've been mostly successful at putting things back together correctly, but not always.

I've always questioned everything--some might say, to a fault. But how is one able to learn the truth about anything if they blindly accept whatever they're told and never question anything?

I've never been afraid to tell people about things I've seen or experienced as long as I was confident that what I was saying was true to the best of my knowledge. And even though the ridicule and being the "odd-man-out" in a group has cost me some anguish at times, I've never regretted telling people what I knew in my heart to be the truth. I figured if they chose not to believe what I said or investigate (when possible) whether what I said was true or not that that was their problem and not mine.

I've played the game for the last 35-40 years as we've all been taught how it should be played. I gave up my dream of becoming a great song writer and musician to provide a more stable and comfortable life style for my family and myself. And my software engineering career has provided exactly that and I have no regrets having done that either.

I believe the thing that has enabled me to sail through life relatively easily--although there have been plenty of stormy seas to navigate--is that I have always believed in myself, my abilities, and my dogged determination to overcome any obstacle I encountered, big or small.

While I won't pretend that some of what I have learned about the "real world" doesn't concern me, I do my best not to let any of it get to me. I believe in a Creator and that he/she/it is essentially good so that whatever happens is meant to happen and everything will be alright in the end.

Still I can't help feel guilty and sad for the serious pile of crap we have handed your generation, and perhaps countless future generations, through our self-centeredness, greed, corruption, and complete and total lack of care or concern for what we've done (and continue to do). The majority of us ignores anything that doesn't fit our belief system and everything that doesn't adversely affect us directly or at the moment. I apologize to you and those future generations for our ignorance and selfishness.

At any rate, if there is any advice/help I can offer you, it would be this:
Know, love, and trust in yourself
Do what makes you happy
Tell the truth as you know it and don't worry about what others think
Question everything
Continue to seek the truth (it is an endless journey)
Don't fear anything (what will be will be)
Don't try to force anything (everything happens in its own time)
Don't try to change anyone (only they have the power to change themselves and only then when they are ready to change)
Love and respect all life and the environment that sustains it
Learn from the mistakes of our generation (and past generations) and do everything in your power not to make the same mistakes
Above all, enjoy the ride. Life is good and worth living.

Mu2143
14th October 2013, 07:30
..............................

Mu2143
14th October 2013, 07:38
................................

778 neighbour of some guy
14th October 2013, 07:45
TSUK,

Hi,

Welcome, that is some story, your story reflects many of my own experiences in the quest for knowledge, more then once I ran into that wall of disconnect, loneliness, reached saturation points, you ask for advice, I do not think I am the right person to give that advice, so I will not, again, I can relate to the feelings all this knowledge projects onto/into ones life, happy go lucky is nice, crappy go sucky is the by most people ignored part of this quest, they rather not see the darker side of this process, I think many of us have been in that dark place and sometimes still take involuntary dives at that particular end of the pool, I noticed this effect on the psyche caused by the quest for knowledge is seldom addressed in public ( like you just did in your OP) and people tend to avoid talking about it like the plague.

So, I have little to no advice besides keep your sh!t together dude.

I however do have a question/observation in general terms and not per se addressed to you, I will formulate it as addressed to you any way.

With all the knowledge you gained, knowledge about subjects, that for the largest part completely go over anybody's head you meet 99.9 out of a 100 times you meet them, they don't have the slightest clue where your interests lay and where your mind is at, what you found out and what its doing to you, them and the world/planet/galaxy and what have you, we are talking about very serious stuff here, life changing, perspective shifting and then some. And then your personal real world goals you set your sights at are achieved, you landed a place to live and a steady job, you got what you wanted, mission accomplished, yet all of this is offset by what you have learned and discovered in your quest for knowledge, I cant, wont deny anyone his/her quest for knowledge and meaning at any rate, however, I recognize the place you are in, and if I were you, and want to stay/participate on a forum like this, I would become VERY selective at what to read and what to absorb into your already seemingly somewhat unbalanced mind ( at this time), tread light for a while, you can be 200% sure you have done much much much more in your quest for knowledge then MOST other current living human beings, so, you deserve a break, this stuff is just as capable of burning one out as anything else is, don't ever think it isn't, because IT IS.

To much of anything can and eventually WILL burn you out, so, don't go there, tread light.

Best of luck and keep it together, as you have already discovered you might just be all you have got for some time, spend your energy wise.

regards

Ed

sheme
14th October 2013, 09:39
Your worries are a simple right of passage, every generation goes through what you are feeling- forced to look at ourselves and our world we co-create you are blessed because you are conscious, if you surround yourself with anxiety about what you should be doing all you will attract into your life will be others who are of a similar vibration.

First know that decisions about your life are yours alone.

Second you have chosen to be here at this time.

You are quite capable of altering your vibration with your mind if you so choose.

lastly, know that you can do anything you choose, where your vibration is, will attract what happens in your life and the people you meet.

Change clear sight resolution first start with the foundation -yourself- be a magnet for high vibration.

I asked the universe for your answer here it is http://www.thespiritualcatalyst.com/universe

"We have been raised in a primitive society that thinks of destiny in these terms: What SHOULD I do with my life? It is time that we graduate to higher understanding. The higher understanding is that "should" is not a concept which exists within this universe. Your destiny is instead encoded in these words: What do I WANT to do with my life? What fills me with PASSION? What causes me to feel JOY? Answer these questions for yourself and you've started on the path of your destiny."
-Teal Scott.

You are just fine- stand up straight chin up shoulders back fear nothing.

Anchor
14th October 2013, 09:47
Look after yourself mate.

Take a look around you.

Everything you see out there is a hint.

If you miss the hint, things intensify and try to make it more obvious.

After you have taken a good look around you, try and spend some time and contemplate this outer reflection of your true nature.

If you have a mind to do it, and I strongly recommend the attempt, take a look around inside you (meditation).

In what direction would you like to move these entwined "realities" ?

What in the reality you experience holds you? What obliges you? What constrains you? What makes you think "I am not free" or "I am suffering"? Do you know joy? Did you know joy?

Sorry I cant give you the all the answers. Got a long way to go myself.

Lifebringer
14th October 2013, 10:55
Well since you're not he, then listening to your soul's awakening process, take what was given. It's evidently meant for your ears also. The coincidence and such. He must be doing fine after all the talk of his music, but like you, he was here and he comes and goes, ergo the reason for the misidentification.

It's all done in brotherly or sisterly love, no matter the problem or issue. Your's is a new quest and shedding the old negative, while being surrounded by people that don't realize their butterfly is turning to higher spiritual evolvement. However they will get there in time, by noticing your meditational and calmer demeanor around them and the ability to think outside the box. Sometimes envy of a family member will cause them to attack your peaceful stance, but that is just a hurdle of misunderstanding and non awareness and fear. Fear that you've changed and they have not. As you can see, most people in certain areas, that haven't been surrounded by fearful people are able to reach for the stars. Those still tethered in the physical and material trappings of want and not "need." This is where we are now. Deciphering what we need, compared to instantanious wants. Short term gratification got us here, and the weaning off of wants programmed as needs, is the best thing that can happen right now, because it's those needs that are given priority, that will bring about the blessing of wants or desire, provided the need to to help someone helps your soul grow Give and recieve and don't expect, and the blessing is that more cherished.

It's sort of philosophical with common sense solutions here, and once we link minds for the good, w/God's guidance, there's no stopping the flow for helaing, peace or ending of chaotic weather. I saw it in the last India cyclone and how it started to heat up, and stop so much precipitation. The less water and energy the more it slows destruction. I when I focus, think of a big pulse of sunshine's rays, hitting the targeted storm. Sun can stop any cloud, storm, or other if it can get there in time before landfall. Just science and stuff. Guiding the storms over areas where the water is needed is for the good, yes?

Simple enough for us and fun to help others while practicing to use our minds for progress, yes?

Class is in, have a seat.

TruthSeekah of YT uses an "H" in his use of seekah. I got it. That is why it's so close. Amazing, how the soulzjourney to completions has names so familiar on many.

Star Mariner
14th October 2013, 13:16
So many great comments, so I can't add much. Almost everything (by the sounds of it) you are going through now, I have gone through too. So in a sense I speak from the other side of the tunnel. And there is a light at the end, I assure you. But in order to reach that light you have to do a fair bit of work accepting - merely 'accepting' all that is, all that you are; and that whatever will be, will be. It seems your prime difficulty at the moment is fear, worry, exhaustion. The 'who am I' questions, and the 'where am I going’ questions etc. Such questions still trouble me, but it doesn't overwhelm me as it once did. Try a Jedi mind-trick on yourself: to not be affected by the chaos is to shift into a mental space beyond it, and just be an observer of the chaos. From there it won't touch you.

You also sound disillusioned by this 'alternative' material as well, almost a sense of embarrassment for believing in such things, thus you keep it secret for fear of ridicule. Rather, think of yourself as being a wiser soul, or at least a more enlightened soul, than those who disbelieve. Don't worry about them. They are on their own paths, and it just may well be that they are walking a stretch of the path that you have already covered. We are surrounded by the blind, the ignorant, the self-obsessed. You work, play and socialise with them. You walk past many on the street every single day. Be happy that you have passed beyond the stage that many of them still occupy. In a way you have 'ascended' to a different reality. Instead of fear, disillusionment, feel very happy and proud of your achievement, for you are that advanced. We are all converging upon the same thing, the same place, so 'they' will eventually get there, when they're ready, and in their own good time. Once this sinks in, many other issues, personal worries, concerns, will come into balance, find a new perspective, and they won’t bother you nearly as much as they did.

Welcome aboard though! You've made the right decision. If you wanted to get things off your chest, and find a place where like minded souls could come together to commune with the many Mysteries, this is definitely the right place!

4evrneo
14th October 2013, 16:46
Welcome TSUK,

If everything in our experience is a reflection, love yourself beyond measure, and share that inner light with all you encounter. Even if others are not where you are at in understanding, it is that light that will always shine forth and affect your experience and theirs.

Bless,

Violet
14th October 2013, 18:25
Thank you all for your kind words and wisdom.

Sorry to burst anyone's bubble, but I just need to point out that I'm not the same "TruthSeekerUK" from YouTube. A mere coincidence I'm afraid. In all honesty, I didn't know that such a name existed on YouTube. I was going to choose just "TruthSeeker" as a name, but it was already taken. :)

...but please do keep your thoughts and comments coming. I very much appreciate your support, and I thank you for the quick and insightful responses!

Hi Truthseeker

Welcome and you are definitely not alone.

I like your avatar by the way. I see in it the quest for truth in a dark forest with an answer that will be much unexpected. After all, it's not from Saturn that we would expect to receive our light, would we?

GloriousPoetry
14th October 2013, 22:32
TruthseekerUK

This is a poem inspired by a dream I had of my brother David who was killed in a car accident at the age of 23. My brother had a hard time in this world and I feel your words are of a young and sensitive soul in a harsh world... you are a fiddler and I dedicate this poem to sublimating that push in life that gives you the rhythmic experience of living despite the insanity of this world.

The Golden Violin

Your soul is made out of
gold like the strings of the
golden violin that sings about
all of the dreams that are
weaved inside the hidden streams
of every human being.....

TruthSeekerUK
15th October 2013, 22:07
Thank you all for your kind, loving and above all, inspiring and thought-provoking words of wisdom, and particularly the poetry! :) I really do appreciate all your comments. It is comforting to know that I am not alone in this journey.

I consider all your comments very special to me, and I've found that some quotes in particular have really connected with me:

What do you really want to do with your life?
Don't live in the past or future. Live in the NOW.
Your anxiety and fears are about something that doesn't exist in your present now moment.
Too much of anything can and eventually WILL burn you out.
Everything you see out there is a hint. If you miss the hint, things intensify and try to make it more obvious.
Short term gratification got us here, and the weaning off of "wants" programmed as "needs" is the best thing that can happen right now.
It seems your prime difficulty at the moment is fear, worry, exhaustion.
Think of yourself as being a wiser soul, or at least a more enlightened soul, than those who disbelieve.
Trust your instincts and "Just do it".
The path is easy when you know what to look for.
I have always believed in myself, my abilities, and my dogged determination to overcome any obstacle I encountered, big or small.
Tell the truth as you know it and don't worry about what others think.
Don't fear anything (what will be will be).


There is also a key word that I noticed popping up time and time again, which was "fear".

I particularly found Mu2143's posting of "The Myth of Fear" a fascinating and thought-provoking video, I would highly recommend to anyone reading this thread looking for answers. The phrase "Fear of the unknown" has really resonated with me today! I have heard that phrase countless times in my life, but never has it meant so much until now. Thank you!

I feel I must also thank and recommend Bright Garlick for his inspiring video "Advice for Young People". It was certainly a very thought-provoking, but also eye-opening, video. I truly admire your courage and compassion, and although I cannot directly relate to the pain and suffering in your earlier lifetime, I do very much commend you, brother. Your words are a gift to every lost soul in this world. Thank you!



There is one question I feel I should raise though, and that is to do with the notion of "living in the now". As much as I agree with this advice, and I certainly do feel it is something I should do more of, is there not a risk that this could be misinterpreted and end up being something which causes people not to have a sense of responsibility and a lack of "preparation" skills?

I'm thinking particularly with regards to the phrase "prepare for the worst, hope for the best". Surely taking responsibilty and being prepared for things, especially in this economic climate, is just as important as living in the here and now?

Again, I thank you all dearly, and I very much welcome your thoughts.

With love and respect,
TSUK

Anchor
16th October 2013, 02:05
There is one question I feel I should raise though, and that is to do with the notion of "living in the now". As much as I agree with this advice, and I certainly do feel it is something I should do more of, is there not a risk that this could be misinterpreted and end up being something which causes people not to have a sense of responsibility and a lack of "preparation" skills?

I'm thinking particularly with regards to the phrase "prepare for the worst, hope for the best". Surely taking responsibilty and being prepared for things, especially in this economic climate, is just as important as living in the here and now?

Great question.

The degree to which one can express the quality of living in the now is inversely proportional to the degree of fear you have; and this is also a function of faith that all will be well and faith in your own ability to make the right choices and dance around life's slings and arrows - except those which were designed into your incarnational programming - you almost are always going to catch those even if you dont want to.

For example, some highly evolved people do not need to eat material food like most of us, and it is therefore easy for these people not to be concerned as to where the next mouthful of food comes from.

For most of us who still need to eat, some common sense and planning needs to be deployed in order to ensure our physical needs are met, but the less fear we have that we have the more we can let our faith in our abilities to effortlessly move among situations where our needs will be met without trying - the more that usually happens. The more fear we have and the more time we spend pre-occupied with disaster planning, there are increased chances that we may, unwittingly, be using our innate creative powers to bring about problems of an inconvenient nature.

If one can do ones planning without fear, without attachment and in the faith that all is well with us and that our needs will be met, then why not - it is all grist to the mill.