I Want To Go Home....

[apokalypse]

right now i'm Very Very Tired and want to go home....anyone have same feeling? i feel isolated only 2-3 people who are not apart of non-mainstream but they really got it while the rest just so into it. Can't stand this world that we lived in anymore and seen people being robot or what we called them mindless sheep...wish them wake up and have that realization.

[Ultima Thule]

Perhaps the key to not feeling tired and even perhaps to helping other people wake up is in feeling compassion for them and interacting with them on daily matters nonetheless?
I´ve found that simply being what you are and discussing the most mundane of things might make more of a difference than trying to impart specific information to another person, trying to push them in essence.

I also get what you are feeling, but hey - in the end, sooner or (rather hopefully later) we´ll all be back home and everything that was experienced here will seem like a blink of an eye - so I figure we might just as well enjoy the ups and downs of this life while it lasts!

I hope I don´t come off as condescending and like I have it all figured out. I just find that there is a big inner conflict when one want´s for the life in here to be like life back "home", while clearly being here. Thus I figure the whole point of being here is to make do with limited capabilities, limited information, limited resources and with limited consciousness and still do the best one can. All will be known to us eventually. Accepting this might ease the conflict and ease life.

UT

[Wind]

You're not alone with your feelings. Also all of those recent solar flares are bringing deep emotions to the surface... It's painful, but for the good in the end. It helps us to get rid of the old emotional dross.

[Snowflower]

Yes, I am also so very tired of the constant struggle. I woke up, my adult children did not and I am so tired of knowing how bad it's going to be and having them call me crazy and paranoid. There is no longer any pleasure in being a mother, only pain. We used to be happy with each other - or was I only fooling myself? Is today the truth and yesterday imagination? Yes, sometimes when the physical pain just seems to much to bear and then I get hit with another sock between the eyes from those who used to love me, and the emotional pain just knocks me flat, yes, I just want to go home.

[transiten]

I'm with you there, Happy Halloweeners;)

I actually look as i put on a death mask and I've been extremely tired for 2 days after having problems with my right eye, the corpus vitrium is detaching and i was examined at the hospital. Hopefully the retina will be Ok. And i'm still struggling with Lyme even if i'm much better..and now this! I totally understand your feelings and i have only 1 friend living far away who is oversensitive to electricity and my 92 year old father with whom i can talk about these things.

But i feel better all the same when i meet some of my "disbelieving" friends. I said to one of them the other day "Well we don't think in the same ways but we like eachother anyway right!" She is an Aquarian and they mostly accept and like differencies althought they stick like glue to their own views and love to argue and tell you the opposite:jester:

Try a joke and laugh about it, you can't force anyone into believing anything anyway.

[Becky]

Dear Apokalypse,
I can empathise with you, and do think UT has given good advice. Snowflower - I feel similarly. My immediate family think I'm delusional/paranoid and feel that this 'research' I'm doing is bad for me. It's upsetting and frustrating when one's nearest and dearest are so mind controlled and living with the matrix blinkers. I remember when I was like that, but I wasn't happy because I was constantly searching as I knew there must be 'more to life than this'. I guess people will wake up in their own time, but it feels very unjust when we are ridiculed and made out to be the 'eccentric' ones!

[markpierre]

Feel what you're feeling. You've been taught that if you don't like it, it's a problem. It's not.
Feel it until it's finished with you. It's not for any reason that you can identify, it's for a purpose.
If you don't, it'll come back and ask you again, to please let it finish you.
It takes as long as it takes. One day it's gone, and you can't identify where to. Of course not. It's gone.
On to the next feeling. It could be worse, it could be blissful. Feel it until it's finished with you.
You're not stuck in any state of mind, except by how it rewards you. Seems crazy. Ask any addict.

It's appropriate to long for home. This isn't it. The best it can be is a playground for children,
the worst it can be is 'not home'.

[araucaria]

Sometimes when I play a game of tennis, someone has to finish by a certain time, possibly before the game is over. The challenge then is to try and finish it anyway. I find by far the better way to do this is to play to win rather than play to lose. It is easy to see why: it gives you the focus to perform effectively and achieve results by concentrating on winning the next point, instead of playing on interminably towards a more distant goal.

Life can seem like a game of tennis that can seem potentially endless, or you can turn it into a football game in which you have, say, twenty minutes in which to score the winning goal and metaphorically go home. You will soon realize how time is really really short to get anything done at all :) 'Winning the next point' here means taking tiny short-term steps to improve one's own little oasis, without worrying overly about the bigger picture of joining up all our oases to change the world. This is done by putting everything into whatever needs to be done right here and right now.

It can be very hard, I know. But then the purpose of any journey is to explore what 'not-home' is like, and if something is wrong with it, to help in some small way to make it more like home. I posted this the other day, which might be of help:

I have also just been reading a history of the German labour camps, in which it is explained how, to survive you needed to be grounded in camp life, say by making some tiny utensil for oneself, rather than disconnecting oneself from this hell to the point of losing it altogether. In other words, you had to deal with the loneliness of everyone being made the same by seeking out solitude.


A more inspiring read perhaps would be Homer’s Odyssey (I’d recommend a recent translation). As you probably know, it is the story of how Odysseus/Ulysses took ten years to get home after another years at war. What you may not know is that it is mostly a flashback from the relatively comfortable position of being nearly home and sure that the last leg is going to be uneventful. It turns out however that the actual homecoming is itself a major battle, with fifty parasitic suitors to kick out of his palace. The moral of the story being that we already are home, only it is no longer home as we once knew it. What chance does one man and his son have against fifty? Answer: every chance, because it is his home, not theirs. But it does make for a busy day’s work :)

[Violet]

right now i'm Very Very Tired and want to go home....anyone have same feeling? i feel isolated only 2-3 people who are not apart of non-mainstream but they really got it while the rest just so into it. Can't stand this world that we lived in anymore and seen people being robot or what we called them mindless sheep...wish them wake up and have that realization.

I understand how you feel However, your message is still not going to be conveyed with you leaving now. Stronger yet, it will only confirm their belief that you are the nut.

[deridan]

hey buddy, all us war horses have to run till we really tired, jump one more pole after the last one which you attempted with all your energy.
I don't believe I have that specific solution for which you seek,

but let me supply you with a formal torment I came across,
in one Dalores Cannon Book written late 80's early 90's the Watchers seem to have seen this thing coming in mass,
there message,....'Its really immature',
,,perhaps that does what it is supposed to do, help us channel our energies into the state where we impermeable to the state of loss,
--in the crisis, it takes some systematic work.
(and if i knew that passage was so important I would have book-marked it, ..second hand, its lost in translation)

[provolon]

right now i'm Very Very Tired and want to go home....anyone have same feeling? i feel isolated only 2-3 people who are not apart of non-mainstream but they really got it while the rest just so into it. Can't stand this world that we lived in anymore and seen people being robot or what we called them mindless sheep...wish them wake up and have that realization.


Hey Apokalypse!!! This video exactly talks about your
"I want to go home!"




------->> 23541 (http://youtu.be/tGAEirPqClg?t=1m09s)




http://youtu.be/tGAEirPqClg?t=1m09s



1. Prophecies are malleable: People create the future with their thoughts and feelings, meaning a prophecy of disasters can be projected when the people of a region have low vibration (fear, anger, stress, despair, hate).




So, a prophecy is a measure of how good or bad the state of being of a group is a precise moment. Good spirits like can be an example and have great influence to some people, they can influence a larger group, as a result the "bad prophecy” can be dissolved and changed to a brighter future.


2. "Why don't you destroy the whole world to end all this suffering? There is so much darkness, so much abuse to good people? Is unbearable!! Bad guys do not change nor want to change” I asked my guides...




Their answer amazed me: "We don’t destroy it because there are many redeemable/salvable things in this world".

Example, blah.., imagine a very ancient forest with the biggest and beautiful trees, wonderful mountains, great rivers of clean water and exotic animals. Do you destroy it because an area is dirty? no, do the hard work of cleaning, even if it unbearable. One day humanity of Earth will be great teachers to the universe, that's the Forest


So, special people like you, indigos, angels, wonders, and beings from outside are investing the sometimes hard and unbearable work, Dolores Cannon have a very good explanation, watch the beginning of this video, you will love it: http://youtu.be/aV0F3n1XhO4









23542 (http://youtu.be/aV0F3n1XhO4)



* lol... I sent more than 2 hrs in this post!, my English is not so good, I was searching videos I posted, and spend time with this forum's layout, kind of difficult to edit text

[ulli]

right now i'm Very Very Tired and want to go home....anyone have same feeling? i feel isolated only 2-3 people who are not apart of non-mainstream but they really got it while the rest just so into it. Can't stand this world that we lived in anymore and seen people being robot or what we called them mindless sheep...wish them wake up and have that realization.


[SIZE="4"]Hey Apokalypse!!!


1. Prophecies are malleable: People create the future with their thoughts and feelings, meaning a prophecy of disasters can be projected when the people of a region have low vibration (fear, anger, stress, despair, hate).




So, a prophecy is a measure of how good or bad the state of being of a group is a precise moment. Good spirits like can be an example and have great influence to some people, they can influence a larger group, as a result the "bad prophecy” can be dissolved and changed to a brighter future.


2. "Why don't you destroy the whole world to end all this suffering? There is so much darkness, so much abuse to good people? Is unbearable!! Bad guys do not change nor want to change” I asked my guides...

[INDENT][INDENT] Their answer amazed me: [I]"We don’t destroy it because there are many redeemable/salvable things in this world".



* lol... I sent more than 2 hrs in this post!, my English is not so good, I was searching videos I posted, and spend time with this forum's layout, kind of difficult to edit text

May I say that was two hours well-spent. Great post. Thank you.

[sirdipswitch]

We are Immortal Beings Of The Highest Order...

This body, is just a suit that we wear,

to have this Physical, experience...:wizard::wizard::wizard:

[ulli]

I'm with you there, Happy Halloweeners;)

I actually look as i put on a death mask and I've been extremely tired for 2 days after having problems with my right eye, the corpus vitrium is detaching and i was examined at the hospital. Hopefully the retina will be Ok. And i'm still struggling with Lyme even if i'm much better..and now this! I totally understand your feelings and i have only 1 friend living far away who is oversensitive to electricity and my 92 year old father with whom i can talk about these things.

But i feel better all the same when i meet some of my "disbelieving" friends. I said to one of them the other day "Well we don't think in the same ways but we like eachother anyway right!" She is an Aquarian and they mostly accept and like differencies althought they stick like glue to their own views and love to argue and tell you the opposite:jester:

Try a joke and laugh about it, you can't force anyone into believing anything anyway.

I don't want to derail the thread, with off-topic comments, but maybe someone can get something from what I'm trying to say here. Your Aquarian friend might already be preaching these same ideas to their contacts....passing on shocking truths is something they feel compelled to do. But being typical Aquarian also means they don't want to do you the favor of being in agreement with you. Sometimes I think that it would be great to be invisible and follow people after we talked to them, to watch how they deal with this new reality.
That way we would be able to see that we are having a far greater impact on the people around us than we realize.
Lack of feedback drains away our hope and makes us feel ineffective.

@Apocalypse
Everyone here represents bright lights in this darkness, and that goes for you as well.
Maybe you ought to change your name to 'resurrection' ...which is what all this suffering is about.
New life, new world, new humanity.
Lets focus on that once in a while, then the work of bringing the evil,
dark side out in the open won't be quite as depressing.

[Camilo]

Welcome to the club!

[spiritguide]

Home is where the heart is. When we live according to the heart center and it's attributes, we are home. The peace that is sought is in the heart, be there. Dispel all energies that deter you from living through your heart. Sow the good seeds and you will have a bountiful harvest!

Peace!

[Sidney]

You are not alone in your feelings. Some days seem just unbearable. I highly recommend the book "Bringers of the Dawn" by Barbara Marciniak. I open it and read when I am feeling down, and i am reminded why I need to remain here.
Then I tell myself, I only need to get through today; tomorrow, I will worry about tomorrow.
http://www.amazon.com/Bringers-Dawn-Pleiadians-Barbara-Marciniak/dp/093968098X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1383401107&sr=8-1&keywords=bringers+of+the+down

[transiten]

right now i'm Very Very Tired and want to go home....anyone have same feeling? i feel isolated only 2-3 people who are not apart of non-mainstream but they really got it while the rest just so into it. Can't stand this world that we lived in anymore and seen people being robot or what we called them mindless sheep...wish them wake up and have that realization.

Thankyou apocalypse once again for posting this, came in the right moment making me realise what a great forum this is with the opportunity to get Free Instant Distant Healing:grouphug:

[Kimberley]

If you are here on earth at this time you chose to be here and are one of the best of the best. When you remember that you will have a much easier and fun time here.

Hang in there all of you "want to go homers"!!! You came here to help and you are thanked greatly.

After spending hours listening to Andrew Bartzis the last few days I am more optimistic than ever. I too have been feeling impatient of late and got a good lift up listening to Andrew (never knew of him until a couple weeks ago).

ioGxyeyuHco

There is a thread on him here:

http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?63685-Andrew-Bartzis.-Mindblowing-Galactic-History&p=734336&viewfu

Much love, peace, and fun to us all, always in all ways!!! :grouphug:

[Mercedes]

Dear Apokalypse, yes, so many days we wake to a day that seems to heavy to bear, and it would be easier just to stop our own suffering, but we pick up our heavy bodies and continue with the life because we cannot let go of the hope that each hour has a teaching and a learning and we can change the way we feel about it, WE CAN!! Don't give up, there are beautiful and good things and people in your life. I'm trying every day to see in every person that I meet the spirit that also longs like mine to go home.

[dim]

and what's worse, the fact that we are already home, we never left home and there's nowhere else to go but home

[ghostrider]

You won't enjoy the mountain top , unless you have been in the valley ... yin / yang ...

[Ron Mauer Sr]

right now i'm Very Very Tired and want to go home....anyone have same feeling? i feel isolated only 2-3 people who are not apart of non-mainstream but they really got it while the rest just so into it. Can't stand this world that we lived in anymore and seen people being robot or what we called them mindless sheep...wish them wake up and have that realization.

I strongly suspect that the larger portion of our consciousness is already home, never left. Wish I could merge the part that is here with the part that is there. But it has not happened yet.

For me also, it is sometimes frustrating to know and chat with people who are locked into the effects of mainstream programming. Sometimes after I've shifted the conversation to non-mainstream topics, my dreams have shown me that I was cutting down trees, something better not done. I am reminded of a book The Flowering Tree (http://www.amazon.com/flowering-tree-Gladys-V-Jones/dp/B0007DYXKS/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1383406423&sr=1-5&keywords=the+flowering+tree) that I associate with those dreams.

Those who are locked into mainstream programming have something in common with me: we are all here for the thrill of the ride.

The way to feel better is to shift attention away from what feels bad to something that feels better. Find someone, some animal, some place to love. Works for me.

[outerheaven]

My post comes in two parts. First, an inspiration:

Believe me I hear ya, but it ain't time to go home, brother!

I never felt like I "fit in" mainstream society from an early age. I was born deeply skeptical of societal norms and institutions. And once I first woke up, those feelings were vindicated, yes, but also buttressed!

"Why the hell," I asked myself, "did I incarnate here? What is there possibly to do?!"

I don't know where you're at in your awakening, but might I suggest, don't stop, keep digging!

There are ways to fight back. It's not hopeless. Lately I've been making orgonite -- look it up! I recommend the WarriorMatrix (http://www.warriormatrix.com) forums. If you're sensitive to energy, you'll feel its power right away. And if you need proof, put some orgonite under a jar of water and freeze it, along with a regular jar of water to compare with. Compare the two and see how the orgonite water jar has frozen in a much more beautiful pattern, with a column that runs through the middle of the jar and even tries to grow out the top. Now you can see that the power is real.

Spread orgonite around the home, around the workplace, give it to friends -- watch how it changes their mood for the better. It's cheap and easy to make, and you make the world a more positive place.

And when you get down, you get depressed, and everything feels hopeless ... go into yourself. Remember that everything around you is just an illusion, a trick at this perceived moment in "time," and something that will pass. You are the only thing that is real, as far as you are concerned. You will gain your strength back and be ready to fight the good fight and let the truth be free.

I was frustrated at first, but now I know why I incarnated here. It's not hopeless, and leaving my mark on the world is a fantastic feeling. All they can take from me is my life, freeing me in the process. I have nothing to lose, nor do you. We have everything to gain, my friend.

Second, a conundrum:

Why did so many people incarnate here, only to remain asleep their whole lives? It really stumps me. I guess it could lend credence to the "physical life on Earth is a school" theory, eh?

[Mercedes]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHEOF_rcND8

[ginnyk]

There is an old Zen proverb: Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water - after enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.

I have been "awake" for about 54 years. I was born at the start of WWII - things were bad then. Things were bad during the cold war when we had those "jump under your desk, bend over and kiss your a@@ goodbye drills". Then there was Korea, Vietnam, and on and on. "Awakened ones" have been waiting for the poles to shift, the ax to fall and/or ET's to save or destroy us for as long as I can remember.

When my husband died over two years ago I prayed every night that I could go home. I would wake up in the morning saying "Oh He!!", I am still here. I have finally accepted that some part of my higher self decided I needed to wait a while longer. I think it was that I wasn't allowed give up and die in utter despair and therefore defeat the purpose of my entire life. Finally, I accepted that if I can't die yet, I might as well live.

That brings me back to the Zen saying. I found that immersing myself in the mundane day to day activities of life - working, playing, appreciating, loving, giving and just being, that the perspective shifts and the gloom and doom seems to move further away. It does seem so overwhelming. I certainly understand your yearning for the peace of "home". . You have so much to contribute to this world, please do not give up. There are so many here who care for you.

Love, Gin

[karamba]

Beautiful Apokalypse!
I am sending you from the bottom of my Heart LOve and Strenth to your Heart!
You not alone!
LOve :fans::grouphug::pray:

[sian]

right now i'm Very Very Tired and want to go home....anyone have same feeling? i feel isolated only 2-3 people who are not apart of non-mainstream but they really got it while the rest just so into it. Can't stand this world that we lived in anymore and seen people being robot or what we called them mindless sheep...wish them wake up and have that realization.

i empythize with you strongly here, the fact you are realizing this is a testimony of who you really are in the world of meat body. forgotten memories of countless lives buried within us of which cannot be fathomed as yet. trust it will unravel in ways to overcome the riddle. being lonely in this world of endless waking-sleep seeps into this reality. keep going regardless of the struggle, your actual beingness in the environment shines out, although not apparent at this time to you does make a huge difference in the overall picture. you make the difference to me.

A little true store i'd like to share with you.

a few years ago friends of mine decided they wanted to tarmac a large part of their front garden to easily park and drive their car for obviouse ease of access. the job was done, everyone was happy, so they thought! then spring came, little mounds and cracks appeared, they blamed the tarmack contractors! but hey, nothing to do with the tarmackers, the beautifful golden daffodils were on a mission to flourish from beneath and so it was. they pushed and shoved with all their might - it was a beautiful sight. we often smile at this accomplishment, still in amazement of their triumph.

we have to be the daffodil.

[dianna]

Show Me The Way To Go Home - Tiny Hill and Orchestra



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9wARQKEZjU

[Tesla_WTC_Solution]

Please don't ever feel like you are alone!

Believe it or not, many people have those feelings;
you have a lot to give to the world before you say goodbye --
don't let "them" win, don't become a statistic for the press to cite --

There was a recent poster here (Sushil Soni?) who talked about being "content in oneself", i.e. even if you are sitting in jail, you can close your eyes and enjoy being a self-aware being with sensation and free will.

I am having to learn these lessons the *hard* way, too --

by the way I drive by one of the biggest damn bridges in the world fairly often (at least once per month),
and it's hard not to stop there sometimes.

However just knowing that it's there help me make the choice not to stop there, if you know what I mean.
The illusion of control, knowing that I *could* go to it but choose not to.

:) lmao how depressing, I am actually trying to cheer you up and it sounds awful actually.

[apokalypse]

[QUOTE=apokalypse;752243]





------->> 23541 (http://youtu.be/tGAEirPqClg?t=1m09s)




http://youtu.be/tGAEirPqClg?t=1m09s


thanks every for reply and thanks for your long hours put into this post. i do feel i don't belong here and i see my self more of guys like Max Igan-David Icke...ect who is trying to awake humanity. it seems that my current like being like them wake up humanity. if you ask me what i want to do? is unknown...since i was a kid i don't know what my career or occupation are until about year ago.

i got wakeup called from zeitgeist and at that moment everything just connected including videos that i have watched before like Alex Collier-Icke...ect. you guys might laugh when i say this, after finished one of Zeitgeist movie i feel pain deep inside and really want to cry...yes, i want to cry and keep asking why? why society have to be like this?

i have talked to few people, they have exact same feeling isolation and tired...is damn hard to tell people about these things what we have talked about on non-mainstream, they really need that awakening or realization...i have one best friend who have that realization even tho he's not into non-mainstream but he get it, never believe in religion or government along with society.

lately i feel very tired and few times 4-5 months ago i want to end my life because of this world...it seems like my soul purpose to experience this.

[Crazy Louie]

original poster - shoulder the cross that's your to bear - there are plenty of us struggling with our own cross and when we fall and stumble - hopefully there will be those that set theirs down (if they can) and help you reshoulder yours. perhaps the helping stranger will be too worn out to even speak encouragement but they certainly understand and feel your burden.

P.S. if you feel the pain of this life so acutely - why would you think taking your own life would mean going to someplace better? - don't answer the question for me answer if for yourself.

[sian]

this may also help explain some thinking beyond the box

LDVCa5-V5yE

[Redstar Kachina]

..........

[provolon]

If you are here on earth at this time you chose to be here and are one of the best of the best. When you remember that you will have a much easier and fun time here.

Hang in there all of you "want to go homers"!!! You came here to help and you are thanked greatly.

After spending hours listening to Andrew Bartzis the last few days I am more optimistic than ever. I too have been feeling impatient of late and got a good lift up listening to Andrew (never knew of him until a couple weeks ago).

ioGxyeyuHco

There is a thread on him here:

http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?63685-Andrew-Bartzis.-Mindblowing-Galactic-History&p=734336&viewfu

Much love, peace, and fun to us all, always in all ways!!! :grouphug:

Thank you Kimberly can you tell us what did you like from the video? I saw it days ago but I was so tired I don't remember almost anything (time travelling changed history of Earth lot's of time, he is librarian of knowledge, hmm.. what else)

[lunaflare]

Yes, I feel weary too. For sure. I have had glimmers of full "vitality".
Hey Kimberley, how is this a truth for you...

If you are here on earth at this time you chose to be here and are one of the best of the best. When you remember that you will have a much easier and fun time here.

Interested to hear more about your perspective. Many say it, think it, write it and believe it...

[Arak]

Many of us seem to suffer more and more every day. I feel kinda lucky as my dark-night-of-the-soul was already last year and I entered to whole new spiritual dimension. And during those hard times I found out that there was basicly 3 thing that helped me to go on: excercise (any sport will do the job; but I found going to gym and walking in the park /woods best for me), meditation (guided meditations worked best for me) and absolutely no alcohol/drugs of any kind.

Remember, everything happens for a reason, everything is possibility to learn more about life - that is why were are born here. :)

[Ammit]

Be at peace with yourself, be at peace with others. Tiredness is a burden we bear.

[sygh]

HAHAHA! I've been called nuts for so long it doesn't matter to me any more! The really funny part about it was I was being called nuts for recognizing something that actually happened and then was totally denied by the doer, like it never happened and I was the crazy. They attacked first with claims of insanity - on my part. I heard someone else say that recently and it reminded me of history.

We know what we know. I've always gotten in trouble for it. I don't mean I'm "special" but I know what I know and I can't help it and I also can't help but seek more knowledge, the thirst for understanding doesn't turn off. We can touch each other and communicate without speaking, we can travel the universe, and jump dimensions and no one can convince me we don't. I've done it too many times. If that's crazy, OK. If music and art and the pursuit of clean energy is crazy, everything is crazy. Why isn't working my body till it hurts on a daily basis to feed or help these people who call me crazy, crazy? It is crazy.

BUT I can still have fun and laugh at the whole thing... now. I may not tomorrow but today I can laugh at the utter folly of putting my time into things that were not important. I love my family and friends, no matter where they are. That time is never wasted. I feel a greater love for the whole of life than I ever did before. That keeps growing. I feel protective of those who cannot care for or, defend themselves... and I'm not afraid any more. I'd be more afraid if I didn't try to stop some of the real madness. If that ends up sucking for me in the physical well... I can't worry about that.

[sygh]

There is an old Zen proverb: Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water - after enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.

I have been "awake" for about 54 years. I was born at the start of WWII - things were bad then. Things were bad during the cold war when we had those "jump under your desk, bend over and kiss your a@@ goodbye drills". Then there was Korea, Vietnam, and on and on. "Awakened ones" have been waiting for the poles to shift, the ax to fall and/or ET's to save or destroy us for as long as I can remember.

When my husband died over two years ago I prayed every night that I could go home. I would wake up in the morning saying "Oh He!!", I am still here. I have finally accepted that some part of my higher self decided I needed to wait a while longer. I think it was that I wasn't allowed give up and die in utter despair and therefore defeat the purpose of my entire life. Finally, I accepted that if I can't die yet, I might as well live.

That brings me back to the Zen saying. I found that immersing myself in the mundane day to day activities of life - working, playing, appreciating, loving, giving and just being, that the perspective shifts and the gloom and doom seems to move further away. It does seem so overwhelming. I certainly understand your yearning for the peace of "home". . You have so much to contribute to this world, please do not give up. There are so many here who care for you.

Love, Gin

It tickles me pink to know that someone with some age on them is here. I'm no young one myself. How did you come by Avalon? What brought you here? After all, it's not like you stumbled into it, or did you?;) What's the story behind your wandering?

[Anchor]

There is nothing wrong with that aching, pinning feeling. Its just your "compass" being yanked to point a certain way and something you feel when you have time to consider it all.

Everything has a purpose - even that feeling.

There has been so much good advice in this thread, I don't have anything different to add from a practical perspective, the big ticket items have been said already.

I want to address you as the wanderer I believe you to be.

Brother/Sister, please don't forget to Love yourself, to commend yourself, to congratulate oneself.

You are alive, you draw breath, by this you actually do an immense service to the entire world.

Yes just by being here - and even if you don't intrinsically know it yet, see if you can see if my words are truth - and if you find that they are, congratulate yourself. (Do that anyway, because you are worth it, I promise).

Some of us see more, some less; nevertheless we all do this service. We all transduce light into this dark illusion. We do it because we need to because we want to and it is our nature to serve in this manner at this time.

In that service, each step taken, each breath, each creation bought into manifestation is ultimately for the service to our brothers and sisters. Each such thing is met with a host of rapturous applause from the unseen ones, guides, helpers and angels - all of whom await your calls for aid.

I am assured that we "fought tooth and nail" among our "class mates" for the privilege of coming here to experience, and I am assured that it is considered pretty cosmically ironic that we get to feel sad, lonely and homesick as a result - certainly we don't feel like the most senior, the wisest or the strongest and most fit for this duty.

We do all this because we are the brothers and sisters of sorrow and we came because we were called.

I feel confident in assessing you as one such brother and sister - and you are in great company, and you are most definitely not alone.

Every now and then it is my privilege to call out to the brothers and sisters of sorrow with a bit of extra reach to the energy of that call.

Bless you and all of us.

[Kalamos]

..........

[apokalypse]

just listen to our Treasurer announcing yearly budget and have to say oh freaking BS...i'm so frustrated right now how primitive human are, isn't about quality of life but the economic numbers and illusion of money.

i can believe these bastard got away with it...many people are so brainwashed. right now i'm feeling what many guys like David Icke/Max Igan/<insert your favorite person> have said over the years.

just saw this thread http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?71394-The-Secret-Mars-Colony about "planet Mars is being prepared as a SURVIVAL COLONY in the face of imminent catastrophic events that may decimate the population of planet Earth"...people might fight over for the spot Colony to Mars or any other bloody planet to survive but i don't, i don't give a rat ass about death any more. you can have my spot that's for sure and if i need to reincarnate agian then so be it . I'm more and more frustrated what's going on right now.

[provolon]

right now i'm Very Very Tired and want to go home....anyone have same feeling? i feel isolated only 2-3 people who are not apart of non-mainstream but they really got it while the rest just so into it. Can't stand this world that we lived in anymore and seen people being robot or what we called them mindless sheep...wish them wake up and have that realization.

It's a very heavy mission, when we ask the Universe/God/Jesus/Mother Earth/Brothers above for help, clarity, strengths we don't receive an answer at the same time, mostly it takes some time for the answer to arrive

[RunningDeer]

but i don't, i don't give a rat ass about death any more. you can have my spot that's for sure and if i need to reincarnate agian then so be it. I'm more and more frustrated what's going on right now.
At this point there aren’t a lot of awaken folks. But the ones that are…well they pack a powerful punch…just like you, apokalypse.

It’s important to listen to your heart. Does it say take a break from all the brouhaha? It’ll help gain perspective and balance on your life choice to be here on this Blessed Earthenship.

In my world, I’m not here to reincarnate. I’m one of the many that are here so we don’t recycle. "We-the-All" will drive this mother ship and her progeny to where the resonance has got a whole lotta Love.

Elevate frequency is the beginning, middle, and end in this “Chutes and Ladders” game.

<3


http://i1262.photobucket.com/albums/ii610/WhiteCrowBlackDeer/chutes_ladders_zps436bbbcc.jpg

[betoobig]

hello everyone... at my house we all feel that.... my kids don´t wwant to go to school and we don´t want to go to work...
Anyway there is a tehcnic meditation that allows you to "ask you energie back". All the energie that you have spent all trhough your live in helping others; that energy is "floating" in the cosmos... So... relaxyourself in meditation and, once your quiet say out loud : I ask for all the energy i spent come back to me.....
You´ll see your strenth rise... and you´ll be able to whacht the rest of the "movie" before you go home for real.
Love to all

[Zaya]

hello everyone... at my house we all feel that.... my kids don´t wwant to go to school and we don´t want to go to work...
Anyway there is a tehcnic meditation that allows you to "ask you energie back". All the energie that you have spent all trhough your live in helping others; that energy is "floating" in the cosmos... So... relaxyourself in meditation and, once your quiet say out loud : I ask for all the energy i spent come back to me.....
You´ll see your strenth rise... and you´ll be able to whacht the rest of the "movie" before you go home for real.
Love to all

I am going to to try this, myself because my energy is quite drained and every single day all I can think about is how I want to not go to work, how I would like to leave work, and then how I would like to not go back. I think it is thanks to adrenal burnout though :-/. So that is something to ponder as well.