PDA

View Full Version : My experience with an "empath"



Chester
15th May 2014, 01:49
Hi Friends

Some of you have gotten to know me a bit and those who have have seen how I use this forum... seen how I share some pretty personal stuff (you don't have to read it)... and that I do this because of the immense personal benefit this has been for me.

Some of what I have shared has been my experiences with "facilitators" (I guess is the general catchall word to use).

We recently, through a contact I made on Avalon, it was suggested I consider speaking with someone named Anthony Kane. What I was told was that he had the true, empathic gift and was able to go "right into the heart of one's world" and reveal things as well as do energy work on the key areas discovered.

Now I am an open minded guy but I will be honest, I was more than surprised as to the experience. This empath spent just minutes with me in our initial conversation when he began to tell me central key, inner details about specific relationships I have had with the the most significant familial relationships I have had in my life.

It is impossible that Anthony could know the things he just blurted right out.

I was so blown away by the session we had that I felt like I was floating for the next few days after. Unfortunately for me (haha) he wasn't finished and told me we needed to meet again to cover the rest of my life he had been unable to get to... some of my earliest years.

The next session was last Sunday and this one was very difficult. I think it is best to read the Skype chat message I left to another friend (whom I also met on Avalon) who also suggested I speak with Anthony.

[7:04:36 PM] Sam H: Hi I suspect it may be past bedtime

[7:04:50 PM] Sam H: wanted to update you on something...

[7:08:26 PM] Sam H: The key issue I have had at the level of my Spirit (my core being... the "one off" from the timeless, formless eternal one Life) has been reflected in this lifetime by the relationship I have had with my mother...

[7:09:32 PM] Sam H: Anthony honed right in on that and essentially "stuck the knife of truth" deep inside me last Sunday.

[7:09:59 PM] Sam H: whereas he was soft with me the first session we had, he was anything but last Sunday.

[7:12:10 PM] Sam H: OK, I believed he was pushing me in the right direction there... but my "fortress" (which my middle name “Chester” happens to mean - comes from old English and has Roman roots by the way) was so strong that it acted as a weapon in that my mother... in her lifetime, was never, ever able to penetrate it and in a way, this affected her BUT her issues are her own matter and have been based on her own choices...

[7:13:24 PM] Sam H: anyways - what I am getting at is that THIS issue is the core issue at the level of my Spirit and Anthony proved instrumental on Sunday in placing me in the necessary position for my ability to resolve much of this issue.

[7:14:03 PM] Sam H: I have not yet taken ALL the steps he told me to take but a large amount of this work has been done and this began during that conversation.

[7:14:21 PM] Sam H: Here is the purpose of why I wrote all of the above...

[7:15:17 PM] Sam H: I had entered into a "auditing" process about 1.5 months back with a true, well trained former Scientologist... and this guy is the real deal too (like Anthony)

[7:16:41 PM] Sam H: So for the last month... when my Mother came up, the meter showed significant charge. I also felt that charge in the form of resentment... and the type of resentment I felt completely justified in maintaining and never even considered the harm having this resentment does her, does my loved ones and does to myself.

[7:18:32 PM] Sam H: So... after Anthony on Sunday, I felt a bona fide melting away of this huge resentment. I say this in part because when I would think of my mother (and I have many times since this session with Anthony) I didn't "feeeeel" that huge resentment. I mentioned this to you yesterday I believe.

[7:19:38 PM] Sam H: OK so... today, my auditor came by and guess what! The meter showed NO CHARGE when I brought up and discussed my mother... and when I shared the process I experienced with Anthony.

[7:20:50 PM] Sam H: I recall times I have experienced "therapy" and discussed my mother but I never seemed to experience relief. This is the first time I have ever experienced this level of relief.

[7:21:27 PM] Sam H: In fact, I have said for many years I did not feel love for my mother. Well guess what? I actually feel a glimmer of love for my mother.

[7:21:36 PM] Sam H: I actually do!

[7:23:12 PM] Sam H: So anyways... to wrap this up... It was not just the fact Anthony (who knew zero about anything of me, my life... my relationships) - that he identified this issue immediately upon speaking with me the first time we met and then made it 90% of the very long session we had Sunday...

[7:24:46 PM] Sam H: But that after the conversation and over the course of the next few days, I truly experienced the lifting of the very real cloud that had been hanging over this relationship which I see has played a role in holding her hostage! My impenetrable fortress! It has finally fallen.

[7:25:06 PM] Sam H: Clearly there was more that Anthony did than just converse with me.

[7:26:10 PM] Sam H: and all this has been confirmed not only through my awareness but also confirmed (so far) by the e-meter.

[7:26:54 PM] Sam H: So thank you again for mentioning Anthony to me and thanks to J. also for planting the first seed I should speak with him.

So anyways... - there really, really are folks who have this gift. Perhaps part of their ability to perform depends on the one being "looked into" - in being open for allowing someone to see into the depths of their truth.

For two years now I have experienced a clear, steady rise in my own psi experiences and I have even begun to develop some minimal, willful psi ability which I am taking cautiously because of my lack of confidence in my morals and judgment. But since my first session with Anthony (6 days ago) I have noticed a marked increase in psi experiences and at least five or so obvious experiences of mentalism. Fortunately in each of those cases, my goals were honest and of good heart.

Shezbeth
15th May 2014, 02:02
It seems rare, but there are magnificent individuals who can work wonders and hone in on buried/obfuscated issues with remarkable clarity. Markpierre has attested to this ability, and I am sure there are others on Avalon, but it is good that you have been able to work with one such individual.

Do you feel that the progress and clearing that you have accomplished with assistance could be accomplished in a solo venture?

Chester
15th May 2014, 02:57
It seems rare, but there are magnificent individuals who can work wonders and hone in on buried/obfuscated issues with remarkable clarity. Markpierre has attested to this ability, and I am sure there are others on Avalon, but it is good that you have been able to work with one such individual.

Do you feel that the progress and clearing that you have accomplished with assistance could be accomplished in a solo venture?

Great question and in fact, perhaps why I am 56 years old and having this experience now attests to my stubbornness in that I felt I had to do the work alone. But I need to add that in this case... I was ready too - finally, truly ready. So Anthony and my auditor have and are playing the role of facilitator, but this is happening in large part because ME (my spirit) is ready.

As the saying goes (reworded for this situation) - "When the student is ready, the catalysts appears."

So what I am saying is... I am doing the work - I am just fortunate to have these fire starters and flame fanners so I don't end up with half measures as I had on my own the last several dozen years.

It is no coincidence the Universe has provided me with Avalon, provided me with the wonderful relationships I have made through Avalon which in turn have led me into serious auditing and the experience I had with Anthony Kane.

So from that perspective, I have done this myself as I wanted to become a better human being for others first by the way, my metaphysics brought all of this into my life experience.

And on the note of markpierre. Not long after I started serious posting on Avalon (in the spring of 2012) I received a PM from markpierre. He socked me right between the eyes. His PM was so penetratingly right on (and deep) we have maintained a warm relationship ever since. My experience with markpierre supports that he also has this ability though he never mentioned it directly - he didn't have to with me... he just did his thing.

karelia
15th May 2014, 07:02
I second every word justoneman said in his OP about Anthony. My own theme is trust in self, and Anthony picked up on that with incredible insight. Not only that, but with concrete advice what to do to grow from it. Anyone who feels even in the slightest bit stuck in their life and/or spiritual development will benefit from a reading. His website is seeren.me (http://www.seeren.me).

Lifebringer
15th May 2014, 10:12
Hi Friends

Some of you have gotten to know me a bit and those who have have seen how I use this forum... seen how I share some pretty personal stuff (you don't have to read it)... and that I do this because of the immense personal benefit this has been for me.

Some of what I have shared has been my experiences with "facilitators" (I guess is the general catchall word to use).

We recently, through a contact I made on Avalon, it was suggested I consider speaking with someone named Anthony Kane. What I was told was that he had the true, empathic gift and was able to go "right into the heart of one's world" and reveal things as well as do energy work on the key areas discovered.

Now I am an open minded guy but I will be honest, I was more than surprised as to the experience. This empath spent just minutes with me in our initial conversation when he began to tell me central key, inner details about specific relationships I have had with the the most significant familial relationships I have had in my life.

It is impossible that Anthony could know the things he just blurted right out.

I was so blown away by the session we had that I felt like I was floating for the next few days after. Unfortunately for me (haha) he wasn't finished and told me we needed to meet again to cover the rest of my life he had been unable to get to... some of my earliest years.

The next session was last Sunday and this one was very difficult. I think it is best to read the Skype chat message I left to another friend (whom I also met on Avalon) who also suggested I speak with Anthony.

[7:04:36 PM] Sam H: Hi I suspect it may be past bedtime

[7:04:50 PM] Sam H: wanted to update you on something...

[7:08:26 PM] Sam H: The key issue I have had at the level of my Spirit (my core being... the "one off" from the timeless, formless eternal one Life) has been reflected in this lifetime by the relationship I have had with my mother...

[7:09:32 PM] Sam H: Anthony honed right in on that and essentially "stuck the knife of truth" deep inside me last Sunday.

[7:09:59 PM] Sam H: whereas he was soft with me the first session we had, he was anything but last Sunday.

[7:12:10 PM] Sam H: OK, I believed he was pushing me in the right direction there... but my "fortress" (which my middle name “Chester” happens to mean - comes from old English and has Roman roots by the way) was so strong that it acted as a weapon in that my mother... in her lifetime, was never, ever able to penetrate it and in a way, this affected her BUT her issues are her own matter and have been based on her own choices...

[7:13:24 PM] Sam H: anyways - what I am getting at is that THIS issue is the core issue at the level of my Spirit and Anthony proved instrumental on Sunday in placing me in the necessary position for my ability to resolve much of this issue.

[7:14:03 PM] Sam H: I have not yet taken ALL the steps he told me to take but a large amount of this work has been done and this began during that conversation.

[7:14:21 PM] Sam H: Here is the purpose of why I wrote all of the above...

[7:15:17 PM] Sam H: I had entered into a "auditing" process about 1.5 months back with a true, well trained former Scientologist... and this guy is the real deal too (like Anthony)

[7:16:41 PM] Sam H: So for the last month... when my Mother came up, the meter showed significant charge. I also felt that charge in the form of resentment... and the type of resentment I felt completely justified in maintaining and never even considered the harm having this resentment does her, does my loved ones and does to myself.

[7:18:32 PM] Sam H: So... after Anthony on Sunday, I felt a bona fide melting away of this huge resentment. I say this in part because when I would think of my mother (and I have many times since this session with Anthony) I didn't "feeeeel" that huge resentment. I mentioned this to you yesterday I believe.

[7:19:38 PM] Sam H: OK so... today, my auditor came by and guess what! The meter showed NO CHARGE when I brought up and discussed my mother... and when I shared the process I experienced with Anthony.

[7:20:50 PM] Sam H: I recall times I have experienced "therapy" and discussed my mother but I never seemed to experience relief. This is the first time I have ever experienced this level of relief.

[7:21:27 PM] Sam H: In fact, I have said for many years I did not feel love for my mother. Well guess what? I actually feel a glimmer of love for my mother.

[7:21:36 PM] Sam H: I actually do!

[7:23:12 PM] Sam H: So anyways... to wrap this up... It was not just the fact Anthony (who knew zero about anything of me, my life... my relationships) - that he identified this issue immediately upon speaking with me the first time we met and then made it 90% of the very long session we had Sunday...

[7:24:46 PM] Sam H: But that after the conversation and over the course of the next few days, I truly experienced the very real cloud that had been hanging over this relationship which I see has played a role in holding her hostage! My impenetrable fortress! It has finally fallen.

[7:25:06 PM] Sam H: Clearly there was more that Anthony did than just converse with me.

[7:26:10 PM] Sam H: and all this has been confirmed not only through my awareness but also confirmed (so far) by the e-meter.

[7:26:54 PM] Sam H: So thank you again for mentioning Anthony to me and thanks to J. also for planting the first seed I should speak with him.

So anyways... - there really, really are folks who have this gift. Perhaps part of their ability to perform depends on the one being "looked into" - in being open for allowing someone to see into the depths of their truth.

For two years now I have experienced a clear, steady rise in my own psi experiences and I have even begun to develop some minimal, willful psi ability which I am taking cautiously because of my lack of confidence in my morals and judgment. But since my first session with Anthony (6 days ago) I have noticed a marked increase in psi experiences and at least five or so obvious experiences of mentalism. Fortunately in each of those cases, my goals were honest and of good heart.

I went through that when mom was divorced and the disciplinarian while pop wasn't in the home. After years we began to talk and I told her some things she never knew happened to me, and her experience w/rape, helped me to become stronger and realize that not all men, are gentlemen.

Chester
17th May 2014, 17:22
Day 6... when I think of Mom, I see her smiling radiantly in my mind's eye and I feel more and more love.

This is truly astounding.

EDIT: What I just posted inspired me to search for a Print Screen I grabbed a few years back of a strange light image generated by the skylight above my Mom and "other phenomena" while we were having a video chat on Skype.

EDIT: 2014-05-30 - I just attempted to remove the photo but may need to seek the assistance of Admin as it won't go away!!! Arrrggghhh

All explained just two posts down.

vilcabamba
23rd May 2014, 03:25
In my experience whenever i come to terms with my relationship with my mom..i can sometimes feel a little love, but then she will email me and act caustic, cold and reptiian and i just can't wait till i never i have to see her again. I don't think any amount of treatment will ever make me come to terms with mommie dearest.

But thanks for the info. Keep us updated on this work and if the energy continues into the future. The person sounds very gifted as an intuitive.

Chester
30th May 2014, 13:28
In my experience whenever i come to terms with my relationship with my mom..i can sometimes feel a little love, but then she will email me and act caustic, cold and reptiian and i just can't wait till i never i have to see her again. I don't think any amount of treatment will ever make me come to terms with mommie dearest.

But thanks for the info. Keep us updated on this work and if the energy continues into the future. The person sounds very gifted as an intuitive.

What a POST!!! I just came back to this thread for a purpose... which I will explain next - but First - this post should not be seen as some "failure" which then would be laid at the feet of the empath I wrote about in the OP.

In fact, what has now occurred (and which I will next explain) in this saga that has lasted over 57 years (counting the months I had to endure her womb!) and perhaps prior lifetimes -

THE LINE HAS BEEN DRAWN! (note the wall photo as my current avatar).

No surprise to have read this excellent post, vilcabamba... and thank you.

I just returned because I finally had the courage to write what happened on Day 8.

Note, my last post above was "Day 6."

On Monday, May 19, I returned to my home and saw my Skype flashing. I looked and saw that there was a missed Skype call from... you guessed it, my "mother thingie." She has called me on Skype perhaps 5 times in the last 7 or 8 years and the last time she did was easily more than 2 years ago. She only called my cellphone once in the last 2 years. I received no e-mails from her other than one time she wanted my help regarding a business matter and then when I tried, she slammed me as to my process where I then wrote her an inspired FU type e-mail.

Still... after my session with Anthony and then my knew energetic view of my mom... all love and light, etc. Here out of the blue was a "reaching out to me for some reason" and I was excited at the opportunity to assist her in whatever reason she might have for the call.

So I called her home phone.

And she reamed me out for "interrupting her" and then had the gall to say - "How did you not know it was a bad time to call, Mr. Psychic!"

Well actually, it happened to be the perfect time to call because this experience has become the final straw.

I have now dubbed her - The Royal Queen Krrrunt of the land of Insania!

I blocked her on Skype. I will send any call she ever attempts to make to me straight to voicemail. If she leaves a message, I will delete it without listening. As soon as I get the time to go through all my contacts who have my current telephone number I will change my telephone number. I have removed her from my e-mail contacts and have designated her e-mail address as spam.

Not only do I sever all ties with this "being," she best remain far away from any future incarnation she might share with me or I will hunt her down and torture her soul until there's no oxygen left in the universe to support the fire of her burning pyre.

Ahhh that feels much better.

Chester
30th May 2014, 13:39
Final comments - I thank Anthony as I have now been able to close the darkest chapter of my life with no regrets.

In addition, I just noticed the most interesting (and for me... confirming) synchronicity.

My OP was based on Day 1 and happened to be Post #1

Day 6 in the story happened to be Post #6

Day 8 turned out to be Post #8

And the lovely Universe is once more aligned. haha

Christine
30th May 2014, 14:33
Hello justone..

I want to add one thing to your post and suggest a potential outcome with "mommy dearest". What is important is the final release of All emotions connected with this being.

I completely cut off all communication with my family for seven years, a most difficult thing to do.. but I did it. And for those who think it a tad unkind or ruthless the results have proven miraculous.

The miracle didn't happen on its own, I spent those years in every way I could cleaning and clearing myself. With out the constant triggers or projections that accompany the continuation of contact I was forced to deal with me.

I was blessed by grace along the way. When I initiated contact with mother again .. all and I mean all reactions positive, negative, emotional, were gone and I found that my mother had, in my absence, made her own progress. I can't describe the freedom and gratitude I feel today.

Does this mean it will happen for others, not necessarily as justone's mother has her own karma to fulfill.. I just want you to know it is possible.

With love,
Christine



In my experience whenever i come to terms with my relationship with my mom..i can sometimes feel a little love, but then she will email me and act caustic, cold and reptiian and i just can't wait till i never i have to see her again. I don't think any amount of treatment will ever make me come to terms with mommie dearest.

But thanks for the info. Keep us updated on this work and if the energy continues into the future. The person sounds very gifted as an intuitive.

What a POST!!! I just came back to this thread for a purpose... which I will explain next - but First - this post should not be seen as some "failure" which then would be laid at the feet of the empath I wrote about in the OP.

In fact, what has now occurred (and which I will next explain) in this saga that has lasted over 57 years (counting the months I had to endure her womb!) and perhaps prior lifetimes -

THE LINE HAS BEEN DRAWN! (note the wall photo as my current avatar).

No surprise to have read this excellent post, vilcabamba... and thank you.

I just returned because I finally had the courage to write what happened on Day 8.

Note, my last post above was "Day 6."

On Monday, May 19, I returned to my home and saw my Skype flashing. I looked and saw that there was a missed Skype call from... you guessed it, my "mother thingie." She has called me on Skype perhaps 5 times in the last 7 or 8 years and the last time she did was easily more than 2 years ago. She only called my cellphone once in the last 2 years. I received no e-mails from her other than one time she wanted my help regarding a business matter and then when I tried, she slammed me as to my process where I then wrote her an inspired FU type e-mail.

Still... after my session with Anthony and then my knew energetic view of my mom... all love and light, etc. Here out of the blue was a "reaching out to me for some reason" and I was excited at the opportunity to assist her in whatever reason she might have for the call.

So I called her home phone.

And she reamed me out for "interrupting her" and then had the gall to say - "How did you not know it was a bad time to call, Mr. Psychic!"

Well actually, it happened to be the perfect time to call because this experience has become the final straw.

I have now dubbed her - The Royal Queen Krrrunt of the land of Insania!

I blocked her on Skype. I will send any call she ever attempts to make to me straight to voicemail. If she leaves a message, I will delete it without listening. As soon as I get the time to go through all my contacts who have my current telephone number I will change my telephone number. I have removed her from my e-mail contacts and have designated her e-mail address as spam.

Not only do I sever all ties with this "being," she best remain far away from any future incarnation she might share with me or I will hunt her down and torture her soul until there's no oxygen left in the universe to support the fire of her burning pyre.

Ahhh that feels much better.

Ahnung-quay
30th May 2014, 14:37
justone-Some people seem to be here to be a burr under our saddles. I've been dealing with some issues with relationships lately where this is coming up more frequently; not just one relationship but several. I'm trying to step back and observe this phenomenon for what it is. What is my lesson? Am I the one that really has the problem or is it the others that I'm dealing with that have the problem?

I'm sorting out that my lesson is to let others walk their own walk without judgement as to how they are doing it. Letting them go with no emotion and keeping to my own walk. And, I don't try to judge myself; just offering myself love even though I can see my own foibles.

A wise woman once told me, keep your heart shield up. By that she meant don't stop loving yourself, others, all life but, don't allow others to hurt you. That includes family members. Sometimes the wall has to go up.

Mother issues go deep. My own mother has passed. During her life, I never had a strong relationship with her; she could be a cold fish. I never felt secure with her and I always tried to please her leading to some very tough co-dependent issues in my adulthood which I've finally resolved. Do I love her? Yes. Do I respect her parenting methods? No. Through her I did learn some lessons and I've changed the way that I interact with my own children and grandchildren because of it. I feel that through this I've possibly changed an ancestral way of being that was present within my family line. She was a good teacher!

There are many lessons in this earth school. Learn but, keep your heart shield up! Say some prayers for your mother; she may really be possessed by something not human.

Strat
30th May 2014, 18:31
I was forced to deal with me.

Eloquently put. Dealing with oneself has got to be one of the hardest things to do. It's like a daily chore that I want to put off.

Far easier to turn on the TV or dive into a bottle till it's time to sleep, wake up, then repeat. Ironically this easy path makes life a real pain.

Chester
31st May 2014, 15:19
I have come to a pretty solid conclusion regarding the following. Please, note, what I am about to express is simply my own truth and is my own truth only for this moment. The posting of the following has no intention of suggesting this should be true for anyone else. In addition, I may change my mind completely at any future moment.

It seems to me that one of Earth school's most important lessons under the subject of "love" is that it is possible one might find oneself in a situation where the only expression of love available to that one with regards to a specific other is when we draw a hard line. When we say, "No... no more." When the last thing the other hears in relation to oneself is, "CLICK!."

I had to reach that point with my first wife (who I often refer to as the Lovely Lucifera). She was so cunning that she realized regardless of my full on blockage of her venomous raging self aimed at yours truly, she could nevertheless continue to conduct war through a battle ground I may never evade, our children. Can we say, "heartless?" Fortunately all three of my children have all seen the same light as I and did so independently from any influence I might have had upon them in the form of my refusal to fight back - a rare moment of wisdom fortunately heeded.

Oddly, in retrospection of this lifetime (specifically looking at my metaphysical journey) I saw how from my earliest memories I blocked successfully both my mother's mother's mother as well as my mother's mother. My mistake was that because my mother was the physical being who played that physical, material realm role of "mother" with regards to my own incarnation, I decided that the example of her being (which is what she teaches) must be honored and because of that... this personal insistence upon myself must be right!

Essentially I forced myself through some mind-phuk (because she is my mother) to assume her teachings were correct and true.

As metaphysics goes, when one refuses to see a lesson at one level... that lesson is brought back to one at an even louder level which is usually accompanied with greater suffering.

And thus that is why I ended up with Lucifera - the lesson needed to be slammed home.

So then what was that lesson? Of course it is complex but the most glaring component is this - I am no one's "savior" as to be so creates the very victim/savior dynamic. One of the archetypical dramas we seem to have repeated here on Earth over and over and for far too long (IMHO).

And so it is on this note that I can now see the decision I made almost 14 years ago to "draw that line" with my children's mother as the final and only still available expression of my love for her in the form of expressing the word, "No!" and leaving her with the sound, "Click" has now come back to the last open end - my mother!

Line Drawn and for the rest of my physical lifetime and if I get my wish, for the rest of my own eternity. Who am I to assume the rest of the infinite sea of Spirit Beings are unable to assist her in other ways available?

Its funny - but one of our members has told me - "You must find your purpose(s) for your current lifetime." I can now say, I have.

At least one of my purposes for incarnating in this realm is to place into the Grand Schema the form of love... the act of love demonstrated by my actions that I will no longer accept what is unacceptable nor will the door remain open for further games to be played along those lines.

So be it.

Chester
21st June 2014, 17:43
An "uncanny" update here on the Northern Hemisphere's Summer Solstice... details as soon as I can write it up properly.

Flash
21st June 2014, 18:49
I love you Sam with Chester, with all my heart, dearest friend. Happy about your progress. Have you noticed something strange with me vs your mother's picture?

Now i understand better the synchronicities.

Flash

Chester
21st June 2014, 19:09
OK... on June 19, Houman made this post (http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?40941-Horus-Ra-as-the-Archontic-Alien-Parasite-A-follow-up-interview-with-Maarit&p=845394&viewfull=1#post845394) in the Horus-Ra thread. This post contained this video -

xb-pke3ud0E

I watched (studied) this video carefully. This guy, Daniel Mackler, made all sorts of points that hit home with me. The most important thing I took from it all was also the most serious thing Anthony Kane said to me. The "thing" was this... that I was traumatized by my parents BUT what was even more important in the message was that they were traumatized by their own parents and thus what they did to is not because they are evil but because there was nothing else they even knew to do. They simply continued with the pattern. In the case of my mother, I knew this was 100% true (as stated in the above OP).

As Anthony told me - "She did her best."

OK, so I had done the work and had begun to see her in a new light when she, out of the blue, viciously attacked me. So as can be seen in the above posts #6, #8 and #13 was what I thought to have been The construction of the Everlasting Wall! No longer was I ever going to expose myself again.

Yet I watched this video posted by Houman and said to myself, maybe my mother... if she watches this video, maybe she can see how she was wounded so deeply by her own mother and that she has been doing the same thing to her kids BUT that by recognizing this, she might understand as well that her own mother was simply doing her best, find a way through understanding to move past her resentment with her own mother and that she might find she lessons or even stops passing it through to my sister and I.

So I sent her the video and told her how the messages relayed here and the points made here, when applied, have helped me be a better father for my sons and have allowed me to release my anger towards her mother for having imposed herself on my mom. I never aimed it at my mom directly but clearly if she watched it, she would find herself in all three roles - the receiver of trauma, the one who retains this trauma and the one who passes it on in the same form as I saw myself being and doing as well.

Last night, I changed my Avalon photo. I took down the wall. The reason for the goat picture is a completely different story (aimed at one of my finer friends... hahaha) but the point is, I was ready for the wall to come down.

This morning, I opened my e-mail and there was an e-mail from my mom. I must have forgotten to block this one address!

And as I read, I could not believe what I was reading. She apologized. She asked me for understanding.

Amazing... and I had written her off. I am humbled again that I could be so stupid and that I could forget that any and all miracles can come forth through love.

And now, the future of our relationship lies in my own hands. Because she (almost 80 years old) asked me for understanding. There is nothing she can do to me anymore as I absolutely can and do understand.

Thanks Anthony and thanks Wisdom of the Universe.

Chester
1st August 2014, 18:40
To end this thread on a wonderful note... just two weeks ago, my sister called me in a panic. My mom was "on her death bed."

As it turned out, she was unconscious for almost 24 hours but the early diagnoses were incorrect. They found a blood clot in her leg (which they were able to dissolve) and then determined she had walking pnemonia.

OK, so anyways, her friend told my sister that my mom wanted to see us both. Note, I have not been in the physical presence of my mother in 19 years. Mostly because I was living out of the US and now that I am back in Texas (for the last year or so) I have yet to be able to make it to Colorado.

All these details are meant to convey that I was pretty nervous about seeing her.

But I did some things right.

I did not project anything at all about the visit. I looked at this as an opportunity for us to make peace. Note, just a few weeks back she asked me for my "understanding" (that she was pretty set in her ways, etc.).

The visit was for about 6 hours and was incredible. Never did a difficult moment arise and the few times it could have, we both backed down before anything negative happened.

I left feeling wonderful about our visit, felt peace for her as well as for myself and felt real and strong emotions of love for her. I had forgotten I did really love her. I felt ashamed too for but I did not dwell on that. I saw it all as a lesson (again) that its best to try and view all things with understanding (the helicopter view) instead of sinking into one of the sub roles of conflicts that are almost always all from the lower egoic self.

26675

Chester
13th February 2017, 21:47
My mom told me her greatest regret was that her mother (my grandmother) never apologized to her (my mom) before my grandmother died.

Today I got a call from a wonderful friend of my mom's, Diana. She has been caring for my mom (age 79) in my mom's home for a long time... Diana, primarily... along with many of my mom's friends. My mom is in southeastern Colorado and I live far away in Dallas, Texas.

Anyways, Diana called... I knew she was supposed to be calling as my sister called me yesterday and told me that mom is in very grave condition.

Diana just called and told me my mom asked her to tell me something...

Diana told me my Mom said,

"Tell Ches I am sorry."

tears tears...

she's released...




anyone who knows me knows I ask my mom's forgiveness too

DebJoy
14th February 2017, 01:32
Thank you so much for sharing your story about your mother. Mother issues are tough... And I'm so so so happy for you that you heard those wonderful words of forgiveness. That's a true gift and well deserved. A dear friend shared this with me about a week ago, in supporting me process through my mother issues. In that spirit, I share with you. Although you have already gone down the path so well.

Little Soul in the Sun
Part 1
There once was a soul who knew itself to be the light. This was a new soul and so, anxious for experience. "I am the light" it said. "I am the light". Yet all the knowing of it and all the saying of it, could not substitute for the experience of it. And in the realm from which this soul emerged, there was nothing but the light. Every soul was grand and every soul was magnificent and every soul shone with the brilliance of God's awesome light. So the little soul was as a candle in the sun. In the midst of the grandest light, of which it was part, it could not see itself, nor experience itself as Who and What it really is.

Now it came to pass that this soul yearned and yearned to know itself. So great was it's yearning that God one day said, "Do you know little one, what you must do to satisfy this yearning of yours?"

"Oh, what, God? What? I'll do anything!" the little soul said.

"You must separate yourself from the rest of us" God answered, "and then you must call upon yourself the darkness"

"What is the darkness, O Holy One?" the little soul asked.

"That which you are not" God replied and the soul understood.

And so this the soul did, removing itself from the 'All' going even unto another realm. And in this realm the soul had the power to call into its experience all sorts of darkness.

And this it did. Yet in the midst of all the darkness did it cry out, "Father, Father, why hast thou forsaken me?"

goyourownway.org Little Soul in the Sun Page 2 of 4

God replied: "Even has have you, in your blackest times. Yet I have never forsaken you, but stand by you always, ready to remind you of Who You Really Are; ready always ready, to call you home.

Therefore be a light unto the darkness and curse it not. And forget not who you are in the moment of your encirclement by that which you are not. But do praise to the creation even as you seek to change it. And know that what you do in the time of your greatest trial can be your greatest triumph. For the experience you create is a statement of Who You Are - and Who You Want to Be.

Part 2
God said to the little soul, "You may choose to be any Part of God you wish to be. You are absolute divinity experiencing itself. What aspect of divinity do you now wish to experience as You?"

"You mean I have a choice", asked the little soul.

God answered, "Yes. You may choose to experience any aspect of divinity in, as and through you."

"Okay," said the little soul, "then I choose forgiveness. I want to experience myself as that aspect of God called complete forgiveness."

Well this created a little challenge, as you can imagine. There was no one to forgive. All God had created was perfection and love.

"No one to forgive?" asked the little soul, somewhat incredulously.

"No one," God repeated. "Look around you. Do you see any souls less than perfect, less wonderful than you?"

At this the little soul twirled around and was surprised to see himself surrounded by all the souls in heaven. They had come from far and wide throughout the kingdom, because they heard that the little soul was having an extraordinary conversation with God.

goyourownway.org Little Soul in the Sun Page 3 of 4

"I see none less perfect than I!" the little soul exclaimed. "Who, then, shall I have to forgive?"

Just then another soul stepped forward from the crowd. "You may forgive me" said this friendly soul. "For what?" the little soul asked.

"I will come into your next physical lifetime and do something for you to forgive," replied the friendly soul.

"But what? What could you, a being of such perfect light do to make me want to forgive you?" the little soul wanted to know.

"Oh," smiled the friendly soul, "I'm sure we can think of something."

"But why would you want to do this?" The little soul could not figure out why a being of such perfection would want to slow down it's vibration so much that it could do something 'bad'.

"Simple," the friendly soul explained, "I would do it because I love you. You want to experience yourself as forgiving, don't you? Besides you've done the same for me."

"I have?" asked the little soul.

"Of course, don't you remember? We've been All of it, you and I. We've been the Up and the Down of it, and the Left and the Right of it. We've been the Here and the There of it, and the Now and the Then of it. We've been the Big and the Small of it, the Male and the Female of it and the Good and the Bad of it. We've been the All of it."

"And we've done it by agreement, so that each of us might experience ourselves as the grandest part of God. For we have understood that...

'In the absence of that which You Are Not, that which you Are, is Not'.

goyourownway.org Little Soul in the Sun Page 4 of 4

'In the absence of cold you cannot be warm, in the absence of sad you cannot be happy. Without a thing called evil, the experience you call good cannot exist'.

'If you choose to be a thing, something or someone opposite to that has to show up somewhere in your universe to make that possible.' " The friendly soul then explained that those people are God's Special Angels and these conditions God's Gifts.

"I ask only one thing in return," the friendly soul declared.

"Anything, anything," the little soul cried. He was excited now to know that he could experience every divine aspect of God. He understood now, The Plan.

"In the moment that I strike you and smite you," said the friendly soul, "in the moment that I do the worst to you that you could ever imagine - in that self same moment...remember Who I Really Am."

"Oh, I wont forget!" promised the little soul. "I will see you in the perfection with which I hold you now, and I will remember Who You Are, always."

(From the book: Conversations with God)

sandy
14th February 2017, 07:13
Blessings and Freedom for you both Sam. Holding space for you both :heart:

Chester
20th February 2017, 00:09
Around 7 PM Friday evening I received this text from my mom's friend who is staying with her through this last phase...

"Hi. Just a brief update.

Your Mom is starting the transition. She's comfortable and in no pain. The hospice nurse said she may pass soon.

Much love to you. I will keep you up to date. Surrounding you, your sister and your mom in light and love."


I fell asleep early. At 3:30 AM I woke and could not go back to sleep. At just before 8 AM, the phone rang and it was my mom's friend. She told my my mom had completed the transition. I shared with her that I couldn't sleep... had woke at 3:30 AM. She said, "How funny... as that was when she passed on."

BMJ
22nd February 2017, 00:59
Hi Sam,
Hopefully these stories will provide you some comfort.

My dad suffered 9 years of leukemia and treatment before passing, shortly after my dad's passing several years ago my mum had two strange dreams.
The first was of my dad sitting on a park bench in his youth on a sunny day he just sat there enjoying the day he looked at my mum and smiled but said nothing.
The second was of my dad with a close friend, whom had passed from cancer, sitting on beach they were both fishing and both looked over at mum smiling but yet again saying nothing.

She said both times she got the impression dad was telling her that he is health and happy doing what he enjoyed doing the most.
I would say your mum is doing the same being health again, happy and enjoying herself to. :sun: