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View Full Version : Fear of the "dark"...



Zaya
5th June 2014, 21:53
If you are not in the mood to read a crazy lady's musings and theories, then this thread is probably gonna be tldr for you. If not, I am dying to discuss this.

I was just meditating in the sun, which has become my most recent ritual when it is possible. Now that I have just moved into an actual house with a yard, it is simpler to do this. Anyway, while I was meditating I was literally relishing in the light of the sun. I was using the light to envision all the negative 'EXPLETIVE' that I absorb every single day from people (as an empath who is not good at shielding). In my mind, I could see those bad particles (red) being attacked with these replenishing (green) ones. My nose felt like a beacon - on fire - sending the bad out out out. Burn it away. Then I started just thinking about the "light".

We're inundated with references to "light" and "dark" from the moment we climb out of the womb. With cultural uses for the colors, artistic depictions of light vs. dark, and many euphemisms and words in the english language that reference the inherent "good" of light vs the inherent "bad" of dark. Yin and Yang etc. It made me think... what is the primal essence of this fear of the dark? Where does it come from within? Then I was thinking, well they say when you reach enlightenment you just become light, right? I imagined what that would feel like. Ahhhh... it felt pretty real because I was in the sun. Then I thought...

Well what would it feel like to be in complete blackness. Complete absolute nothingness.

Then, I felt it. The energy raising up in me again. I had another existential crises. The idea of dark, black, nothingness is so unbearable to us because inside thats what we fear the most -- the possibility that we could become blackness (or possibly already are blackness). Aka lose our ego entirely. What am "I" without the ego? I felt in my mind at that moment that the very last fear that the ego latches onto is that of accepting our "blackness".