Father's Day

[LivioRazlo]

First and foremost I want to wish all of you fathers and soon to be fathers to have a great and most-deserved Father's Day.

Like Mother's Day, one day out of the year is simply not enough to express the gratitude for the one who protected, nurtured and loved you unconditionally. Me, I'm not yet a father, and one day, when the time is right, I hope to exceed the steps my father took with me and my other two siblings.

My dad wasn't the greatest guy I could have hoped for growing up. He didn't take us on camping trips, read all of us bedtime stories or any of the other cliche things you might think of off the top of your head when thinking about a father figure. However, he was there for us until we all graduated high school and separated away from our mother (which was the best thing he ever did for her. I LOVE YOU MOM!). He did provide the basic needs for the family and imparted some great wisdom that I still think about to this day (even though I thought it was quite mundane and useless at the time).

On this day, whether your dad is still intimately connected to your life, distant, or has went to join our predecessors, take a minute today to remember the guy who helped create and bring you into this world.


Much love,

Wes

[Tesla_WTC_Solution]

Dear Wes, you story strikes a chord with me.
thanks to you I remembered how important it is to tell the guys to have a happy day --

sometimes it's easy to forget. because good dads don't always stand out immediately.

it's wonderful to have a father figure who just "gets it done" -- not constantly asking for recognition, but preventing "it all" from falling apart.


I too remember good things about my dad, in spite of his limitations -- how he would cut firewood for his brother, how he built our porch,
how he tried to keep track of which neighbors drive too fast, etc.

those little things that made a difference while no one else noticed.


thanks Wes for your thread.

cheers to the Dads (and other fine fellows) here on PA.

<3

[avid]

This is the first 'Fathers' Day - I couldn't make the kindest most positive and gentlemanly person with the best humour in the world a daft card. I've save all the old ones. Bless you Dad - as John Lear said "You'll know I've told you the truth when you're dead" I think that was from the Living Moon website from years ago....
BTW - Serpo (http://www.serpo.org/final_update.php) website still exists (Bill Ryan's first enthrallment of me - and then he met Kerry, and Project Camelot - the Avalon ensued). Sorry - I digressed.

[Jake]

Yes, Happy Fathers Day to all fathers and daddys here at Avalon, and around the world. :) :cantina:

Jake.

[ulli]

My Dad crossed over 34 years ago. I remember him with fondness. He was different from other German dads, in that he had never joined the Nazi party. He had questioned it, but not to the point that he was incarcerated, like some other farmers who spoke up against " the guy from Berlin", who had replaced the old village mayor.
However, Dad later in life became convinced that there was a global conspiracy against all Germans, in that he noticed the media not presenting the reality he knew of.
At the time I had no clue what he was talking about. That is changing now. RIP, Dad.

[RunningDeer]

”…one day out of the year is simply not enough to express the gratitude for the one who protected, nurtured and loved you unconditionally.

Me, I'm not yet a father…

Hi Wes,

What you said above? That’s what Seig & Boss say about you.
And to them you are the best Dad ever!
Oh, they said they want to take you for a walk now.

<3

http://i1262.photobucket.com/albums/ii610/WhiteCrowBlackDeer/LivioRazlo_Zeig_Boss_zps90525c08.jpg

[LivioRazlo]

Haha, thanks RunningDeer. I actually have taken, or rather they have taken me a walk through a local forest where I am and we just spent our time enjoying the serene sights that could be found. And also, I do think of my dogs as my children to which I am their father. Kinda weird to some people, but I have nothing but love and respect for my furry four-legged friends who always being a smile to my face. As they would unquestioningly protect me, so too would I defend their lives with my own. :)

[Zephyr]

Father's Day......It's a day I've never really thought about my entire life. My mom divorced my dad when I was 6 years old. Mom had finally built up enough strength and courage to get me the hell out of that violent environment.


You see, my dad became very jealous of the attention that my mother gave me and as each year went by his resentment and anger towards me grew larger and more violent. I would suffer legendary beatings, my dad would also beat my mom and many times he beat us at the same time. I was terrified of him, I walked on eggshells (mom did, too) and then one day, during yet another arguement, my mom scooped me up, threw me in the car and literally burned rubber driving away from our house as my dad tried to catch us.


My childhood following the divorce was filled with confusion, sadness and often I was left wondering what I had done wrong and why my dad didn't seem to care about me all that much. My mom gave him our house and he paid next to nothing in support money. Sadly I had to spend every other weekend at my dad's house because my mom wanted a social life of her own. I dreaded going to my dad's on those weekends. I had to endure his drunken rage even more and I was left to experience my dad and his new wife screaming at each other, fighting and still beating the crap out of me and my new step brother and sister.

Anyway, I'm 42 now and though my dad died from lung cancer back in 1999 I still wonder why he wouldn't treat me as a son, or someone he at least loved? I've let go of the anger several years ago, but my lack of a father figure in my life has left me a bit emotionally crippled. Relationships never workout for me, I can be distant and I have issue with intimacy. I have tons of friends, but I feel like I was never taught how to be a man, in a way. I know that sounds ridiculous...


All this being said, I really appreciate all the wonderful fathers out there who're acting as a positive make role model for their children:).

[Axman]

All my daughters came today we broke bread hung out great day.
Happy fathers day to all the rest of you out there.

The Axman

[LivioRazlo]

Zephyr - I know all too well the story you are telling. For the earlier part of my life, I not only feared my dad, but I loathed him. He would literally beat the crap out of my mom as well as myself. When I got older and bigger, he started in on me with his fists, rather than being slapped in my younger years. I don't know what spurred him to be like this, but was always like this before my mother left him (which occurred after me, my brother and sister graduated high school). After the divorce, my father's drinking problem spiraled out of control.

Then, out of the blue, he stopped by an apartment my brother and I were renting and wanted to have a talk. He looked me dead in the eye and asked for my forgiveness. I was dumbfounded, starstruck, whatever word you can associate with the feeling of breathlessness and awe - describes my reaction to a T. I kept my calm, but inside, a raging torrent of feelings and emotions flowed from within. In the end, I forgave him. I didn't want him leaving with a sunken heart and defeated ego - it was time to make amends.

Around 6 or so years later, I had a run in with some LEO's and found myself locked behind bars for 3 months. During that time, my dad always accepted my calls, came to visit, wrote me letters and sent me money for food. During this time, it was probably the most love my father had ever shown me. After being released from jail on my own recognizance, my dad gave me a place to stay and get my act together. His drinking problem hadn't stopped either in that time. After getting a bottle of Wild Turkey whiskey and each consuming half a fifth, the argument and fighting ensued. He slapped me around a bit and told me what a failure I was - he being obviously more intoxicated and out of control than myself - which I must say was intoxicated, but acutely aware of the situation at hand. I proceeded to raise my hand in defiance (against everything I had ever been taught or understood) and take control of the situation. I could see the fear in his eyes. Like a bully meeting their demise at the hand of the bullied, my dad knew his time had come. I proceeded to walk 5 miles across town and live with my brother and have been ever since.

Dad didn't change too much after that event. The woman he was dating got beat on too and eventually kicked him out, moved in with another woman, beat her too, went to jail and then moved in with his mother. She told him she wasn't going to put up with his behavior anymore and demanded he change. Well, he didn't. He stole from her to buy alcohol, sold her possessions and just kept spiraling out of control. My grandmother, God bless her soul, always poured her heart out to me about him and how she just couldn't take it any longer. He would say she had dementia or Alzheimer's and try to pass off his actions with these sorry excuses, but I, and my younger siblings knew the truth all too well. Well, she passed away and he, along with his two sisters, sold all of her possessions along with the house that she wanted to keep in the family. My dad now resides at a local homeless shelter, working for them to keep his place at the mission, all the while not trying to do anything and awaiting the time he can draw Social Security checks.

I called my dad today - against my ego telling me to do otherwise, and let him know that I loved him and wished him well on this day. However scarred my past is, I can't help but shake the feeling that he too was abused by his father. This is one of my greatest fears - that I'll turn out to be just like him: a drunken beater of women. There have been some times in my past which I have let anger get the best of me - and in hindsight, I see how I could have taken the same path as my father. I've been single for the past 4 years and this is probably the best thing for me at the moment - working part-time and school full-time, I wouldn't be able to adequately meet the needs of any love interest. Then again, I also need to keep my past in the rear-view mirror as a constant reminder of what "could be" and also learn to respect women for other qualities other than appearance.

I hope by sharing my story, you can find some knowledge, wisdom or courage to overcome those issues in your life which have scarred you.

Wes

[Shezbeth]

Zephyr, I identify completely with the phrase "I was never taught how to be a man" and the idea that 'relationships have suffered as a result'. My father never appeared to want children, what he really wanted was subordinates. I refer to him as father in observation that he 'fathered' myself and my brother, but to me the term 'dad' carries a familiarity and endearment that I have never felt.

My brother was perfectly happy and accepting with/of this arrangement, and I was not. Consequently, he was given all the support, praise, and attention that I never was. To be fair, he did an adequate job of seeing to it that our housing and sustenance needs were met, and his absence was largely to do with professional requirements and aspirations - there were many years where he spent more weekends elsewhere in the country/world than at home - but as a father-figure he couldn't be bothered and willfully and indefinitely deferred. To be more fair, he never physically abused me, my brother, or my mom; neglect and emotional abuse were his MO, as doing otherwise might have gotten his hands dirty.

In recent years I had a talk with my father in which he admitted that he showed blatant and obvious favoritism to my brother and he admitted that that was true and inappropriate. I forgave him for that - even though he never actually asked (it was more for me that I did so) - which was good for me yet ever since then he has acted as though I had no reason to defer from any sort of intimate relations (which to him amounted to a business-like subordination). While I recognize he was/is acting from a sincere disposition largely potentiated by the generative circumstances he was raised in, my willingness to forgive him for subjecting me and my brother to a double-standard did not mean I would suddenly start interacting along the lines that he felt was 'most appropriate'.

He has high blood pressure for which he has been prescribed Statin drugs to 'treat'. I have tried on numerous occasions to expose him to various documents, articles, interviews, etc. indicating the dangers and counter-productivity of statin drugs, to which he has expressed disinterest/disdain. In his mind, being a skeptic means 'dismissing whatever nature or source of information that is inconsistent with his own opinions and/or establishment doctrine/dictate', while I insist that a skeptic is 'one who attempts to validate/invalidate information and sources through individual evaluation to determined applicability or inapplicability regardless the findings of individuals or groups with a clear and established agenda'.

I just got off the phone from wishing him a happy Father's day and I feel like I have ashes in my mouth. As usual he took the opportunity to ask me about current events and goings-on to then immediately expressed his displeasure and disappointment at the choices I have made and the dispositions I continue to operate under.

To all who have/are awesome Fathers, you have my esteem and appreciation. Take care of yourself and yours today and every day insomuch as you can.

[Operator]

An ex-colleague of mine always said .... "I don't like fathers' day, you'll never know shows up on your doorstep that day" :biggrin:

[MargueriteBee]

I have always hated being told by society to celebrate fathers day. It is depressing, my birth father didnt want me and my step father liked me too much. So fathers day is just a dull day, so is mothers day.

No wonder the world is a freakin crazy place.

[Earth Angel]

luckily I have the best father ever, so kind and loving and gentle. great sense of humour too......and my husband is a fantastic father....my girls both adore him....for those who had the less than wonderful fathers, try watching Wayne Dyers Tales of Everyday Magic, my Greatest Teacher, he had an absent father whom he spent many years hating....after tracking him down (to his grave) he had to learn to forgive him...for his own sake. I can only imagine how hard this must be to do. A child only knows love and certainly can't understand why a parent would not love them in return.