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Hazel
2nd August 2014, 08:09
**Appologies it seems this report is a hoax... will request that the mods remove it!

George W. Bush Arrested for Cocaine Possession
Posted on July 24, 2014 by JP in Headlines, Politics
DALLAS, Texas - George W Bush Arrested For Cocaine Possession

One of the most notorious Presidents in history of The United States of America is back in the spotlight, but not because of his politics. George W. Bush was arrested in a Dallas suburb late Tuesday evening after a routine traffic stop uncovered over an ounce of cocaine in his glove compartment.

Dallas police say they pulled over Bush after he made a right turn without signaling. Officers report they were surprised when seeing it was the ex-president, but felt something was off about his behavior. They say Bush seemed under the influence of a narcotic, and the officers on-scene asked to search the car. Curiously, Bush consented, and police found the narcotics.

“We pulled over the truck and were about to write a simple traffic ticket and things escalated fast,” said officer Charles Cane, a veteran officer with the Dallas Police Department. “At first my partner and I were stunned with who was in the truck ,and [Bush] began to crack jokes and asked if we wanted to take a picture with him. I noticed he was sniffling quite a bit and the glaze on his eyes screamed that the was under the influence.”



Cane said that once the officers uncovered the cocaine, Bush tried to bribe them to keep from getting arrested. When that failed, he turned to threats and rambling, reportedly saying that he would ‘get the FBI to kick their a–’ and that ‘Presidents can break any laws they want.’

“I broke so many laws when I was in office, and I didn’t see you coming to try to arrest me then!” Bush shouted at police officers. “I’ve been doing coke for decades! I used to blow lines out of a Skull & Bones in New Haven tittie bars when you were making nice in your diapers, kid. You just want your name in the papers next to mine.”

“It was a tough arrest to make, but I didn’t become a police officer to make easy decisions. He begged me over and over to let it slide, then he offered me money, then he called me an ass—-, but that is the way the law goes. We don’t offer special treatment to anyone in Dallas. I don’t care who you are.”

Representatives for Bush have yet to comment, but bail was set at $5,000 and posted immediately. Bush spent less than 6 hours in a holding cell before being released.

araucaria
2nd August 2014, 08:22
Ha ha, very interesting. There is something about Dallas and US presidents. But this sure is a letdown after JFK. Did no one tell George the Grassy knoll was not that kind of grass? He's going to have to do a lot more confessing before he lands a movie deal with Oliver Stoned. :)

Hazel
2nd August 2014, 08:35
Ha ha, very interesting. There is something about Dallas and US presidents. But this sure is a letdown after JFK. Did no one tell George the Grassy knoll was not that kind of grass? He's going to have to do a lot more confessing before he lands a movie deal with Oliver Stoned. :)

Excuse my oversight araucaria... clearly I should check sources before posting!

Enjoyed your puns

H.

araucaria
2nd August 2014, 08:58
No, let's leave it. It is more likely that it will take America's plans for a nuclear first strike to backfire to put the world to rights, but it would be much more fun if it spiralled out from some small, hilarious beginning like this. We had Archduke Ferdinand a hundred years ago, JFK fifty years ago, time to bring on llittle George W. :)

Hazel
2nd August 2014, 10:14
Yes well George W. Bush has always been an entertaining and worthy source for lampooning...

So not a problem as far as l'm concerned!

Here he is groping the German Chancellor:

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/7/V/b/1/bush_groping_merkel.jpg

ulli
2nd August 2014, 10:14
How I wish I had co-written all of that, including the comments
They must have been in stitches while doing it.
Avalon ought to put a satire writing team together, with araucaria leading.

ghostrider
2nd August 2014, 18:25
Bush in handcuffs ??? one can only dream , get the waterboard thing ready , I'll have him confess to funding the Nazi's , killing JFK , hoaxing the moon landing , and moonlighting as Osama Bin Laden to start a war in the desert ... lol for the record I'm just kidding , poking fun , I would never do to him what he has done to others , that would make me no better than he ... still I'd love to see him in a cell with Tyrone for life , you know life partners , oh the bonding time ...