Everyone is human and alone sometimes...

[Natalia]

By Sonia Choquette, a spiritual teacher and intuitive, after 2 family members died and her long time husband left her:

"All of a sudden my life fell apart. People responded to me in a really interesting way, a lot of people were like, how can this happen to you? As though being a concious person or intuitive person would make me excempt from being a human person, but I kind of bought into that a little bit, and felt sort of ashamed of myself, and friends that I even turned to count on, some that had been very close friends, just weren't there for me, and I was devestated, and filled with anger and filled with grief and filled with shame, and I just prayed on my knees" ~ Sonia Choquette

[lucidity]

There is no shortage of loneliness in this world.
When i think about "alone sometimes" .. i realise that there are lots
of old people who have been "alone" (and lonely) for years, even decades.
Such people probably exist in your own family... Your mum? Your Dad ?
Your Granddad ? Your Grandmum ? Their respective siblings ?

Given the proximity of the new year...I have a suggestion:
If you want to do some good in the world, and improve your karma.
Make a new year's resolution to denote, say, 30 minutes a week to
combatting someone else's loneliness. Ring them up, pop round,
send them an email. Send half the time talking about them and
half the time talking about yourself. Ring it on your calendar each
week and tick it off after you've "donated". And here's the rub:
You'll be surprised how much you benefit personnally
from this simple act of consideration.

be happy

lucidity :-)

[Craig]

We can be surrounded by people - loved ones even and still be lonely especially when everyone is oblivious to what us avalonians read and know every day.

[Wind]

We can be surrounded by people - loved ones even and still be lonely especially when everyone is oblivious to what us avalonians read and know every day.

That is so true, friend.

http://mypeacefulheart.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/robin-william-lonelyness.png

[Baby Steps]

Hope this is not too absolute- but I lost my loneliness when I stopped trying to heal it by using other people. Learn to enjoy being alone, conquer the fear & everything will flow from that. Or chat to me.
God bless.

[WhiteFeather]

I'm sure the Buddha didn't mind being alone. Being alone may not be so bad to others. Maybe Eckhart Tolle has some insightfull words on this topic of being alone.

We are all 1 tribe

W.f.

[Baby Steps]

Another piece of the puzzle is - if you are a seeker, and very connected soul - which I am sure you are, you may hunger for contact with spiritual people, and as with me, struggle with your other friends who can hardly relate to this. I found an outlet with regular spiritual work, in my case with a Shaman. I feel I have brought a bit of structure to the journey, with targets & milestones-very fulfilling. And ultimately in service to the all.

[WhiteFeather]

Good read here IMO.
http://melaniewebb-counsellor.com.au/2013/05/10/the-illusion-of-loneliness/

"Eckhart Tolle suggests that when you are feeling the void of loneliness, take the time to step into the void and to understand where this lack of separation comes from. Surrender to the moment and let go of any concept you have about the moment and its interpretation, including the concept of ‘me being alone, of me being lonely, of me not having anybody in my life and simply be there as consciousness. Ask yourself the questions: Who am I? What makes me happy? What are my core values and beliefs? When you ask these questions a sense of ‘who you are will develop’ Take the time to truly respect and love this person for the unique gifts that they bring to this world. In taking the time to find yourself and getting to know who you really are, you will achieve a sense of wholeness and the loneliness will become replaced by self-love."

[WhiteFeather]

At times I myself like to be alone. Consciousness is much easier and you can do some great thinking alone. ;) Being totally destractionless is awesome.

[Natalia]

:) being alone is such a pleasure sometimes! I'm looking forward to the clearing, and recentering, in the home made sanctuary of peace (going back to my own place today)...I really like that quote by Eckhart Tolle, "loneliness will become replaced by self-love", thank you whitefeather :)

[Robin]

Hey Amethyst,

Given your trail of recent threads, I can't help but notice a certain melancholic longing emanating from you. It saddens me to see such a beautiful soul like yourself feel burdened by the flux of companionship. There are things that I could say, but really, this battle is ultimately yours. No matter what anybody says, no words of comfort can quell the inward struggles we all have to confront by ourselves.

It can be tough, emotional, and self-defecating at times, but the answer that you may be looking for is embedded deep with inside your own being waiting for the key that will free it from inside its cage. Introspection is a lot of work, but the answer does lie inside of you. Changes out of the daily routine help, and the vibration that you put out will reverberate in the psyches of people around you, and synchronicity will bring you together.

In the Hundred Acre Wood, there is always loneliness. The characters are always lonely, but in the end, they still do have each other. They realize that they are an integral part of the balance that their personalities and habits bring forth, and they learn that forgiveness, honesty, genuineness, integrity, fidelity, courage, and courtesy are all aspects that need to be embraced to overcome the feelings of alienation. Honestly, Winnie the Pooh deserves a deep academic analysis! :)

For what it's worth, perhaps an episode or two of this series will provide you with one step closer to finding that key, or at the very least, will make you feel all warm and happy inside:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8WGiVCPCr8

[Natalia]

Hi Sam,

Sonia Croquette's recent interview really touched me, in that, she went through one of the hardest times in her life, and according to others (and at times herself), she was supposed to be this "super human" person...but she wasn't...maybe partly, but also just human, like the rest of us...to go through such grief and to be expected to deal with it in a different "more enlightened" way, must have been even more of a lonely experience for her. But, she found her way...I really respect that and feel inspired by it, she is a strong lady (but aren't we all in our own ways?).

Introspection, omg, not more! lol...but yeah, sometimes we need to do more...

I'm gonna watch that Pooh movie later, thank you :)

[Delight]

I appreciate the personal reflections you add to PA Amethyst. You add the permission to be self revealing and that is a loving stance and gift IMO.

I actually know that being "alone" is what we create for ourselves. It is not necessary as there are billions of people to share our company if we are willing and able to choose continued human intimacy.

Without knowing anything more about this OP, I am pulling something out:

"I kind of bought into that a little bit, and felt sort of ashamed of myself, and friends that I even turned to count on, some that had been very close friends, just weren't there for me, and I was devestated, and filled with anger and filled with grief and filled with shame..."

In about the last 10 years, I have had a strange friendship with a man who has been in and out of my life. When "in", we have had great times and then all of a sudden I would desperately "need" to get away from feelings of shame and grief and rage that came up in his presence. I thought "I need space". It seemed to me that he was the cause of the intense repulsion.

Actually now I think he may be my best beloved of all for giving me the information about myself. Maybe the solution (though I could not face before and still feel very reluctant to face now) was PROBABLY to stay experiencing the intense depth of pain and heal it. It is easy to run and hard to stay when others push the hot pain buttons.

It took me until now (10 years seems a long time but what the heck) to face the fact that a few things were happening I did not see:

1. These feelings were mine and I used him as a screen to project my own state of mind about myself. OK, so now what?
2. In a way, only the love between us could bring up these feelings. LOVE brings up all unlike itself to heal.
3. No one in the interaction was wrong. I could forgive the interaction and change my mind.
I have a theory that we constrict our life to avid pain and eventually the restrictions are the cause of reset into death. Of course I am about to turn 60 so i think a lot about Life/death and how to choose life.

Perhaps as we live longer and reach my age and older, divorce, death, disappointment and other experiences happen more and more and unhealed wounds make the losses harder and harder to bear? In the last 10 years (after my husband died), I chose to hermit (though I did not recognize the "CHOICE" part exactly as my decision made). I now thinkit was because the amount of pain that I felt from the beliefs I developed through my life was more manageable when I was "alone".

This is not what everyone does but maybe (?) many do and this MAY BE why as people "age" they become less involved with new experience and new others sometimes? At least that is what I am thinking MAY be why I began to feel more comfortable alone and chose solitude.

In a way even if I took this path to escape and because I was refusing to face my inner beliefs (and the feelings of being unable to tolerate what relationship brought up), it did have great consequences too. Now I am not needing superficial social stuff to entertain me.

BUT, what would I need to have NOW to reorient to being with others and new experience intimately?

1. I recommend to me self forgiveness of beliefs about me that trigger reactions of pain.
2. I recommend The meta-recogition that when others (and situations) seem to "cause" pain, it is not true.
If my hot pain button was not already installed, I would not react to others like I have.

Now, very recently this friend is back "in" my life. More than ever I can feel that there is grrat love between us. I am willing (though scared) to accept the opportunity to face my devilish rage and grief and choose something new.

I have studied so many "modalities" of healing and have carved away many beliefs. The biggest one to INSTALL: is that just like I am, I am enough to have a wonderful life with others without having to improve anything. All I need to do is love myself all the time while I am feeling horrible pangs of emotional turmoil that will arise in the presence of "others". I appreciate the loving opportunity with beloveds to heal my own false understanding. To master this one is a biggie for me.

This IMO is the only way to tolertae All One versus alone and choose to live to be really youth full. Love, Maggie

[Natalia]

Hi Delight,

thank you for sharing your experience, and you bring up some good points that I have not thought of (should we stay or should we go?, "LOVE brings up all unlike itself to heal" - I like the way you put that, so true). I wish you more peace and I get a positive feel from your post that there will be a softening with some of those intense emotions in the future...it can take time...

It seems that some things get easier (or harder, depending) as you get older...I've seen people mellow out and be more carefree, after having really hard lives, it was nice to see.

[Ernie Nemeth]

should I stay or should I go?

GqH21LEmfbQ

Always the question, isn't it?

Much Love,
Ernie