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View Full Version : Forgiveness: Necessary, or just a way of stopping you from retaliating to aggression?



Sean
18th January 2015, 17:50
Just a thought..forgiveness, is, to a certain extent, necessary. If only to allow the person hurt to move on. but isn't forgiveness ALSO used, on both a personal and a societal level, to stop victims from going after their tormentors? Think of all the things we endure: False flag terror, geoengineering, loss of civil liberties..on and on. and we see no end of articles, posts, talks on forgiveness. It's WAY out of proportion to the notion of "consequences for your actions", which, frankly, is more effective as a problem-solver in my humble opinion.

As someone who used to attend a theosophical lodge..I notice new-agers in particular seems incredibly passive. No matter what someone does..their answer seems to NOT include defense of self. Just my experience. what do you all think?

/discuss

raregem
18th January 2015, 18:05
Oh MY!
The year 2014 brought so much shock to me. I had 2 very deep friends turn their backs on me at the time when I could have used their support. ( for a change). They no longer have my deep, abiding trust. Going through the shock, anger, acceptance, forgiveness was my lot.
OK. So I forgive people regarding my perceived injustices. Now what?
I am left feeling impotent, used and manipulated. I couldn't see they would be liars TO me and about me. Blows my mind, once again. I try to believe in the best yet, I do not experience folks in this way. Used to blame myself. Now I am thinking like your post- WorkingActor. This does NOT have a peace of mind attached to forgiveness when the harm is so blatant and ignored by the giver. I must convince myself this is for the higher good these days. It used to be so easy to let it be but way too many years and times of abuse has passed. Now what?

WhiteLove
18th January 2015, 19:04
Just a thought..forgiveness, is, to a certain extent, necessary. If only to allow the person hurt to move on. but isn't forgiveness ALSO used, on both a personal and a societal level, to stop victims from going after their tormentors? Think of all the things we endure: False flag terror, geoengineering, loss of civil liberties..on and on. and we see no end of articles, posts, talks on forgiveness. It's WAY out of proportion to the notion of "consequences for your actions", which, frankly, is more effective as a problem-solver in my humble opinion.

As someone who used to attend a theosophical lodge..I notice new-agers in particular seems incredibly passive. No matter what someone does..their answer seems to NOT include defense of self. Just my experience. what do you all think?

/discuss

It depends also on what you choose to be guided by, how you want to grow as a spirit/soul. I have chosen Jesus Christ as the master that I'm guided by. I have chosen unconditional love as the theme to grow as a spirit/soul in this life, because I find something profoundly beautiful, peaceful and true about it that I want my spirit/soul to align to and how I want to impact others by my being. With this comes forgiveness towards self and forgiveness towards other selves. With this comes unconditional love towards self and unconditional love towards other selves. With this comes not judging self and not judging other selves. With this also comes service to others before service to self which also is a way of loving your self unconditionally, because we are all one. With this also comes being authentic. What I am guided by is essentially these words by Jesus: "Love your neighbors so unconditionally that not even your own life is a condition on that love". For me when Jesus died on the cross for the love of me, that's special, that's powerful, that's beautiful. I want to become/be like that. How I do so is as I mentioned by letting my being be guided by the principles of unconditional love. My logical mind likes truth seeking, so the combination I hope will assist in the ascension process and freeing of humanity towards peace, love and happiness. This also means that God is using me where these qualities are needed. I am going through a lot just by having made this decision. It's all but easy. But since I strive towards also loving myself unconditionally, making mistakes is something I do not judge myself on. I learn from them, I am guided by them and I move on. Being a Christian in this kind of way is not being a person that strictly follows tons of rules or try to create some kind of boring life, it's exactly the opposite, unconditional love creates a child of me, a child that wants to be excited and have fun. So it is the opposite. It is about avoiding limitation, about facing life from this point of view and leaning towards the principles of unconditional love towards self and other selves, through life, however it turns out.

peterpam
18th January 2015, 19:38
Working actor, you gave examples of forgiveness in your OP as allowing false flag terror, geoengineering or loss of civil liberties. I do not agree that our lack of response to these things is anything like forgiveness. I think there are many reasons why we allow these things to continue. In some cases apathy may be more accurate, also, feelings of powerlessness and just lack of knowing what to do may be more accurate reasons why these things are allowed to continue.


Forgiveness, when I think a wrong is done to me is simply the most practical approach. If I allow someone the power to dominate my thoughts and emotions because they did not behave the way I thought they should, then I am the loser in the situation. What better empowerment is there in this world than walking through life with no expectations of having others behave the way I want them too. Not being willing to forgive someone or something is a last ditch effort at controlling someone or something that I have no control over.

So, to me, forgiveness is not some benevolent thing that I do with spiritual oneupmanship. It is a practical and freeing action that lets me walk through life with a minimum of mental and spiritual encumbrances.

jeanpistache
18th January 2015, 19:56
That's a very good question I think. Forgiveness is so important, maybe there wouldn't be life without it.

Violet
18th January 2015, 21:56
I'm thinking microscale, interpersonal relations. Forgiving, the real version, is not for weaklings. It takes a lot of courage and strength to do that. It's definitely not the easy way out, far from it. Why forgiveness? It's a building block. And when many get it right, the construction starts to arise.

Forgiveness can become a joke though, in which case other solutions must be sought. On the macroscale of your examples we apply laws. And if applicable, laws and their managers can be changed.

Ernie Nemeth
18th January 2015, 23:56
To me, forgiveness does not mean absolution. Me forgiving you does nothing for you and everything for me. It is me that is freed by my forgiveness.

I can forgive someone for not paying me my due, so I can move on in peace, but you still owe me my money. I can forgive the unkind words, the punch in the nose, the jilted lover, but that does not erase their actions, right or wrong.

Czarek
19th January 2015, 00:49
Few of my favorite quotes:

"Forgiveness is the choice to see people as they are now. When we’re mad at people, we’re angry because of something they said or did before this moment. By letting go of the past, we make room for miracles to replace our grievances"
Marianne Williamson

"Learn to Write your hurt in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone"
Author Unknown.

"Never does the human soul seem so strong as when it forgoes revenge, and dares to forgive an injury"
E.H. Chaplin

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong"
Mahatma Gandhi



Oh source of all life, here I stand before you, bruised, broken and humble. Why? Why all this pain? What have I done to deserve this? I do not understand right now. Sometimes I blame myself for all this pain. Sometimes I feel so guilty that I have somehow been the cause of all this turmoil. Help me to sort out this misery. Help me to see with clear eyes and heart. Open my eyes that I may understand what I nee to change in me to be a genuine happy person. Open my heart so that I may accept the blame only for what I have done to bring me to this point. Give me the courage to do what is right which this knowledge. Also, show me when I am guilty of wrong so that I can leave that burden where it belongs. Lift this fog of confusion. Guide me to see and accept the truth about myself and to love myself as I should. Guide me to discover what I should feel guilty about so that I may change it and do the right thing. But also give me the discernment that I need to discard the blame I do not deserve...

Rachel
19th January 2015, 00:52
The most obvious consequence of betraying me is loss of trust and the absence of me in their life but forgiveness has never been necessary with me. We're all flying blind here and I don't take anything personally at the end of the day. I'd love to see more compassion in this world, it's so much more appropriate and powerful than forgiveness.

If I learn that I can't trust somebody then that's it, it's gone, no more trust for that person, or at the least I will no longer trust them with whatever they screwed up. It's not the worst thing in life to learn where we can place our trust and where we can't. If I see they will repeat their harmful actions then I'm gone and there's nothing they can do to change that...bye bye Sweet Cheeks, interaction between us is no good for either of us.

I'm not sure I even understand forgiveness, I don't get it. Does it mean you will still have a relationship with that person or still trust them despite what they have done to you, because you forgive them? That does my head in and makes no sense to me, is it like a get out of jail free card? I see judgement and foolishness in that. We're not doing them or ourselves any good by putting up with their bad behaviour or smoothing it over, we are denying them the opportunity to see the truth of their selves and subjecing ourselves to harm. Also, who are we to forgive anyway? Who are we to judge? Maybe I'm a new-ager? I don't know. The concept of forgiveness is just confusing for me.

Compassion seems more loving and being honest about where we now place our trust seems more helpful for everyone involved. People think I'm ruthless like that though so I don't know, maybe it's one of those social skills that didn't develop in my formative years.

There's lots I don't trust my self with.

Bluegreen
19th January 2015, 02:04
Part of our journey will be forgiving the Rockefellers and their satanic cronies for their massive crimes against humanity
And it will be a hard road

Tesseract
19th January 2015, 02:32
Our governments preach peace and pacifism when it suits them, and unfortunately some people have become brainwashed with this mindset even when faced with extreme and blatant immorality. The Israel-Palestine conflict is just one example where many people, all love and light as they say, will criticize Palestinians for violent resistance. The major political parties also demand forgiveness for their own mistakes, no matter how severe, and yet don't afford this forgiveness to their own citizens. Unfortunately we are now in a paradigm where our (western) governments can pretty well do anything they please with absolute impunity.

So, for me, the forgiveness has become counter-productive.

northstar
19th January 2015, 03:07
Mark Passio has a lot to say about this topic, workingactor. He has dozens of free podcasts on his website where he rants against New Age passivity.
I suspect that may have been the intent of your message.
Although I can't stand to listen to Mark Passio due to the vitriolic nature of much of his speaking, I DO like some of his core ideas, one of which is that we must begin to balance out the soft, right brained, "everything is oneness, love and light", new age mentality with some clear thinking, hard edged, left brained warrior energy.

I like Passio's idea that too much of either type of energy is devastating - in order to survive and thrive in these perilous times we must we "whole brained", not too much left brained (dry, cold linear logic) or too much right brained ("we are all love and light so evil people can do whatever they want - lah dee dah")

We must balance both.

PS - he has two videos on this page on "New Age Bull***"
http://www.whatonearthishappening.com/videos
(as I said above, I personally find him hard to listen to due to the intensely vitriolic nature of his delivery BUT I do like many of his ideas...)

northstar
19th January 2015, 03:19
Reply #2:
Here is my second reply, mostly in relation to "personal" forgiveness. I do believe that on a personal level it is necessary to come to a place of forgiveness for any personal injury or harm another person may have done to you. It is important to forgive on a personal level not to make what that person did "OK" (because in many cases nothing could make it OK) but to release yourself from having to carry around bitterness, resentment, anger and hurt.
Forgiveness on a personal level is a very healing thing to do. It helps heal your own emotions and it improves your own psychological health.

However, to look at those forces that are currently destroying and poisoning and laying waste to the very ecosystem we need to survive, and passively say "love and light to those dark forces, its not my problem you see, because I only have "nice" thoughts" is to stand by while a terrible evil is being committed and do nothing. That makes the passive "love and lighters" complicit in that evil. And to clarify what I mean by that evil, I am talking about the eco-cide of our living biosphere, which all life currently here needs to continue living.

Rachel
19th January 2015, 03:46
Reply #2:
Here is my second reply, mostly in relation to "personal" forgiveness. I do believe that on a personal level it is necessary to come to a place of forgiveness for any personal injury or harm another person may have done to you. It is important to forgive on a personal level not to make what that person did "OK" (because in many cases nothing could make it OK) but to release yourself from having to carry around bitterness, resentment, anger and hurt.
Forgiveness on a personal level is a very healing thing to do. It helps heal your own emotions and it improves your own psychological health.

However, to look at those forces that are currently destroying and poisoning and laying waste to the very ecosystem we need to survive, and passively say "love and light to those dark forces, its not my problem you see, because I only have "nice" thoughts" is to stand by while a terrible evil is being committed and do nothing. That makes the passive "love and lighters" complicit in that evil. And to clarify what I mean by that evil, I am talking about the eco-cide of our living biosphere, which all life currently here needs to continue living.

I see what you mean about forgiveness, it seems to be a healthy letting go, I've done a lot of that. There are just facets of it that still confuse me, no biggie.

Whether "love and lighters" are complicite in that evil or not is subject to their comprehension of how realities are created. If they really are looking at what's going on and just saying oh that's not my problem, I have nothing to do with that because I'm a positive thinker then they are NOT light warriors. A true light warrior can feel a great responsibility to do something about it but how they choose to respond may appear passive from the outside, while in truth it is not at all. It's not passive or agressive, it's wise, it's a demonstration in understanding profound truths about reality.

Ernie Nemeth
19th January 2015, 05:18
"Personal forgiveness". Is there any other kind?

It is not in my power to forgive someone their actions, I cannot take it back for them. Can I forgive and punish at the same time...yes I can. The reason to forgive is simple - I want to be forgiven my wrong actions. I am a good person, I deserve a second chance, and a third, and a fourth. So do those that have wronged me. But what has been done is done, and sometimes you gotta pay. And sometimes there ain't any more second chances.

Thought that was more obvious. Sorry.

Rachel
19th January 2015, 06:00
forgive
fəˈɡɪv/
verb
stop feeling angry or resentful towards (someone) for an offence, flaw, or mistake.
"I'll never forgive David for the way he treated her"
synonyms: pardon, excuse, exonerate, absolve, acquit, let off, grant an amnesty to, amnesty; More
antonyms: blame, convict, resent
no longer feel angry about or wish to punish (an offence, flaw, or mistake).
"I was willing to forgive all her faults for the sake of our friendship"
cancel (a debt).
"he proposed that their debts should be forgiven"

Ohh ok, I get it now. I had problems with anger for a long time and I don't now, one reason is because I understand a lot more about situations, the human condition etc. I never thought of it as forgiveness though, just that I became better at understanding. I was confused at the definition because I've seen a lot of people focus on the blame end of it and how they are doing the receiver of the forgiveness some sort of favour. My head hurts just thinking about it. Anyway, according to this definition, I have been forgiving.

By the way, I only say good-bye to people who I know are still capable of doing harm to me, never over just making mistakes.

I'm not sure if you're addressing northstar or me as well because I didn't understand, rebel, but if it was me too then no need to be sorry. It would be me being dense, not your post.

Karma Ninja
19th January 2015, 06:24
Not as difficult if we consider the good and evil within us all. The actions of these people are neither good nor bad. Our reaction to their actions are neither good nor bad. We feel strongly one way and yet another soul feels strongly the other way. It is all apart of the journey. Beyond good and evil, it is what we are.

"Rockefeller and his satanic cronies" are just stones in the path that brought you here. Are you unsatisfied with where you are? You are here and they are there. We are all just bumps in the road. But we are apart of something different from the casual norm, the well worn path. We here in Avalon are daring to drift to another part of the path. We are here to shine light where there appears only to be darkness. One cannot exist without the other. Part of the celebration will be the acceptance that their impact is worth celebrating too. So why forgive? Forgiveness is for the weak. True evil doesn't seek nor does it want forgiveness. We are here to accept. Accept and move on.

Damn! That sounded deep. No wonder some friends call me the Buddha! Lol! ;)


Part of our journey will be forgiving the Rockefellers and their satanic cronies for their massive crimes against humanity
And it will be a hard road

jackovesk
19th January 2015, 07:53
FORGIVENESS - ((Damned if you do & Damned if you don't))...:noidea:

:mod: I ((Forgive You)) certain Mods..:)

Wind
19th January 2015, 10:38
Forgiveness is the only thing that stops the wheel of karma. Until people learn to let go and forgive, painful lessons will be ahead as long as they are needed. How hard can it actually be to forgive and love? Why stick to the pride, bitterness and arrogance? In the end only you will be end up hurting. It's not worth all the pain that is being accumulated. All that being said, it doesn't mean that I accept if something wrong is being done to me or to others, I strongly oppose such things. "Forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

J7ZW4-ntGtA

Violet
19th January 2015, 20:12
Do they? I think some people know very well what they are doing and if I decide to forgive them, it's not because they didn't know what they were doing, although they would like you to believe that.


"Forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

Wind
19th January 2015, 20:18
Do they? I think some people know very well what they are doing and if I decide to forgive them, it's not because they didn't know what they were doing, although they would like you to believe that.

That's certainly a good question. Maybe they at least think know what they are doing, but ultimately they are only hurting themselves. If you really knew what you were doing, you wouldn't hurt others, because you would know better.

Sean
19th January 2015, 20:32
I think, for me, the issue is one of balance. If someone maliciously attacks you, and there is no response, things are out of balance. respect, on any level must not be asked for.

It must be TAKEN.

By that, I mean, how you live your life, your actions, your inner self etc..all these things add up to how others perceive you. Everyone has people who respects them to a certain extent, for many reasons. then we have those who will not respect you no matter what, and take upon themselves to intentionally disrespect you, in various ways. they do so primarily for one reason.

because they think they can get away with it, with little to no repercussion. because, if there WERE repercussions, they would hesitate out of self-preservation. I think it's everyone's personal responsibility to let your boundaries be known. that is, what you will and will NOT tolerate. response to malicious aggression is a way to do that, a very effective way. If someone assaults you, and you do nothing, you've taught them that they can assault you and nothing will happen. If, on the other hand, they physically assault you, and you beat the SOUL out of them for it..they'll think twice next time, won't they? same with verbal/psychological aggression.

a response is required so others know where not to tread. if you don't enforce boundaries..welcome to the world of being a doormat. After balance is restored..forgiveness becomes much easier.

Edit: This video(graphic)of a man busting down a door with a machete, only to be shot by the residents of the home, illustrates my point https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZT1JjwuAxmQ#t=126

Yes, forgive..after the threat has been..neutralized.

Iloveyou
22nd January 2015, 05:46
deleted by Iloveyou

Anchor
22nd January 2015, 06:30
Forgiveness of the self is as equally important as the forgiveness of the other (for so long as we do not see them as the same thing!).

If you will pardon me quoting from the Law Of One Material... there is an interesting opinion on Karma and the relationship with Forgiveness

--



http://www.lawofone.info/results.php?s=34&v=e&sc=1&ss=1
34.4 Questioner: Thank you. Would you define karma?

Ra: I am Ra. Our understanding of karma is that which may be called inertia. Those actions which are put into motion will continue using the ways of balancing until such time as the controlling or higher principle which you may liken unto your braking or stopping is invoked. This stoppage of the inertia of action may be called forgiveness. These two concepts are inseparable.

34.5 Questioner: If an entity develops what is called a karma in an incarnation, is there then programming that sometimes occurs so that he will experience catalyst that will enable him to get to a point of forgiveness thereby alleviating the karma?

Ra: I am Ra. This is, in general, correct. However, both self and any involved other-self may, at any time through the process of understanding, acceptance, and forgiveness, ameliorate these patterns. This is true at any point in an incarnative pattern. Thus one who has set in motion an action may forgive itself and never again make that error. This also brakes or stops what you call karma.

34.6 Questioner: Thank you. Can you give me examples of catalytic action to produce learning under each of the following headings from the last session we had… Can you give me an example of the self unmanifested producing learning catalyst?

Ra: I am Ra. We observed your interest in the catalyst of pain. This experience is most common among your entities. The pain may be of the physical complex. More often it is of the mental and emotional complex. In some few cases the pain is spiritual in complex-nature. This creates a potential for learning. The lessons to be learned vary. Almost always these lessons include patience, tolerance, and the ability for the light touch.

Very often the catalyst for emotional pain, whether it be the death of the physical complex of one other-self which is loved or some other seeming loss, will simply result in the opposite, in a bitterness, an impatience, a souring. This is catalyst which has gone awry. In these cases, then, there will be additional catalyst provided to offer the unmanifested self further opportunities for discovering the self as all-sufficient Creator containing all that there is and full of joy.

--

I hope you don't mind me posting that here.

Lifebringer
22nd January 2015, 06:31
Put them in an orbit outside until your heart can welcome them inside. Gives them a chance to grow, and you a chance to heal.

Fox
22nd January 2015, 09:29
Does forgiveness remain in a person's dictionary if they understand who they are, deep down below their locked cellar door? Forgiveness is a change in opinion to love, from hate. I ask this because I haven't had to forgive anyone for quite some time. If an action is taken in a negative way to me, or around me, I know where to file that experience immediately and then act in the manner which best resolves the situation. I'm one of those "love and light" fellows, but that doesn't negate defense. I will never purposefully take a life. I will never purposely hurt another soul. Now, that doesn't mean by own morals I can't find a way to restrain you to prevent harm to an otherwise defenseless thing. Will I? I don't know, nobody does until their living the circumstance. Every action taken by anyone is 100% legitimate to that soul. If you had their memories, their perspective, everything that comprises us, you'd act the same way. Knowing that, nothing is evil, rather it's just another path that you don't align with and that helps you grow, to really understand who you are in this particular life. So, instead of forgiving those who don't align with my preferred vibration, I just immediately understand them instead. Is that forgiving anyway? Boy, I hate definitions sometimes.

Violet
22nd January 2015, 09:45
It is difficult. I apply the understanding-part too and then you go through the process of how they must have reasoned to come to such an act and you understand and then, it conflicts to what you would have done in the same situation, and you think: if I know what's right here, why can't they? Then comes the next question: But what is right? Right? Your "right" or "his" or "mine"?

And all these questions must then combine with their diffuseness not being a valid excuse.

Anchor
22nd January 2015, 20:59
Is that forgiving anyway? Boy, I hate definitions sometimes.

This is a really good point. What is forgiveness anyway?

I consider there to be a substantial depth to complete forgiveness - it has much more complexity than the normal culturally glib definition of the "forgive and forget" variety. (Same is true for lots of words like this - "love" is another one that seems hard to really pin down).

To me forgiveness is a deep "resolution" and "acceptance" such that there is no residual attachment and experience - the situation is finished, the lessons learned, the service rendered. It is in some ways a healing.

Certainly, it is not simply the empty intonation of the words "I forgive you" and then completely passing up on the everything to do with the extraction of the lessons and wisdom from the situation that you were offered, or offered yourself - and of course dealing with the attendant karma.

In my experience it can be a tough process that takes some time and effort.

The Canceller
23rd January 2015, 09:51
''


https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7560/16160733527_6bcc7bf38a_o.jpg

^^^ Essential reading on the subject, IMHO.

ulli
23rd January 2015, 12:49
Is that forgiving anyway? Boy, I hate definitions sometimes.

This is a really good point. What is forgiveness anyway?

I consider there to be a substantial depth to complete forgiveness - it has much more complexity than the normal culturally glib definition of the "forgive and forget" variety. (Same is true for lots of words like this - "love" is another one that seems hard to really pin down).

To me forgiveness is a deep "resolution" and "acceptance" such that there is no residual attachment and experience - the situation is finished, the lessons learned, the service rendered. It is in some ways a healing.

Certainly, it is not simply the empty intonation of the words "I forgive you" and then completely passing up on the everything to do with the extraction of the lessons and wisdom from the situation that you were offered, or offered yourself - and of course dealing with the attendant karma.

In my experience it can be a tough process that takes some time and effort.

I agree with this.
To function at living a decent and fulfilled life we don't want to walk around with resentment cluttering up our emotional body, or worse, plotting revenge.
Forgiveness seals the endless chain of reaction after reaction, that goes back generations.
Clean slate. Start over. Very energising...

RunningDeer
23rd January 2015, 14:33
Forgiveness is another way of expressing the Love that I am/We are. I use these as a guide. And for the times when I need a visual I’ve got a poster board and sticky note.

Forgiveness is appreciated from another when it comes from a place of Truth rather than expectation.


http://avalonlibrary.net/paula/Love/feather_board_zpse9ded540.JPG

http://avalonlibrary.net/paula/Love/feather_sticky_zps3b66674a.JPG

<3

lake
23rd January 2015, 17:45
Different species whom look alike exist here.
You could segregate them into 3 main sub types if you wished to:
Man
Human
Psychopath

This should enable you to comprehend why this vibration is failing!
You consider love to be your saving but love is a selfish act felt by only 1 sub species.
Your definition of love is incorrect.
Empathy is the correct term for that which you feel when you choose to freely give your self.
What always created a feeling of dissatisfaction within my awareness was the lack of care and acceptance of injustices which are the current norm whilst partaking of this physical flavour.
But if man (of course includes woman) are a different vibration then it makes a sad sence?
Do you dream in the 1st or 3rd person?
Do you image your susposed memories within your disposed mind of the past you believe you lived in the 1st or 3rd person?
Humans do it one way and man does it the other!
I wonder!
Many say to do no harm but my feeling is this should be:
ALLOW NO HARM
Then one can act to protect those weaker than YOU
The strong of mind or body should care for the least.
They should not utilise them for their own selfish gain.

Philaletheian
26th January 2015, 08:49
True forgiveness is in knowing that there is nothing to forgive.
..::OM::..

raregem
25th February 2015, 05:31
The time of reflection and perception has passed. I was able to come to real forgiveness for self and others. I feel it. I am not angered or saddened by it. I am at peace. One persons friendship has grown. I was heard. I was asked for forgiveness. It made all the difference in the world to have been acknowledged. This came about AFTER I had found my peace with all that transpired.
My other friend has never been heard from again. I want for him to have peace.

araucaria
25th February 2015, 09:16
Only last week I listened to an opera singer specializing in the fiendishly difficult 20th century repertoire who was giving tips on various practical and technical matters to an Internet audience of French horn players of all people – well she does play a wind instrument of sorts. One point she made was about how she deals in realtime with the imperfections that inevitably crop up from time to time. The temptation is to scold yourself really badly, which would have the disastrous effect of immediately taking you out of the state of concentration you are in and the whole performance would fall to pieces. The only way is to react as if you were a friend. You wouldn’t scold a friend, you would make light of the incident and encourage them to keep going. If you can learn to do that (making of course a mental note to address the issue later when you have time), then you will register just a slight dip in your performance from which you can gently rise back up to your top level.

If this is how a live performer claims to keep her act together – and she certainly does that – then there may be a lesson here for the rest of us as well. Do we not often visualize our four score and some as a live performance; we compose and rehearse the script together between lives, leaving plenty of room for improvisation when we get here. The improvisation part may be seen as the above-mentioned imperfections, but they are only imperfections to the extent that they deviate from the prepared script; on the other hand, being factored in from the outset (part of the deal as a kind of cosmic jam session), they may also be seen as the life and soul of the party so to speak, although they still need to be kept in check. How this is done is by being a friend to yourself, not your own worst enemy. Make mental notes by all means, but in this case addressing the issue later when you have time may sometimes mean not until the life review after you’re gone. In the meantime you have to keep going and hold everything together: the show must go on. Nobody likes a flop.

There is a corollary to all this. Being a friend to yourself does not rule out being a friend to others: on the contrary. If they fluff their lines, you can either minimize the problem and steady the ship, as a forgiving friend would do, or you can contribute to an impending disaster. It may be that it is the character who is going to murder your character: the question then is whether this is to proceed smoothly, more or less as planned, or not. Of course my analogy breaks down at some point, the outstanding issue being at this stage the fact that we have seemingly strayed so far from the script that we are no longer sure where all this is supposed to be heading and we are improvising all the time. We don’t really know, but are likely working on the basis that the downfall of the elite is not so much the original script as a collective improvisation to get back to the original script. The doings of the elite would then be a nasty dip in the performance that has to be shrugged off before gently rising back up to the proper level. There is of course another script involving the downfall of humanity, but it has already had a good run and we are doing something different this season. The play has a happy ending but some players don’t like the unfamiliar new script and are sticking to the old one. It seems to me that we are trying to muddle through with minimum fuss – so-called ‘new age passivity’ may be a part of that process, and it is a worthy goal. For what is performing, if not conscious, reflective living on a higher plane? – occasionally disrupted by plain, unconscious and unreflective living.