View Full Version : Alienation from loved ones while on the path of awakening (Advice Wanted)

10th August 2015, 21:03
Hi Everyone, I'm going through a difficult time in my personal life and have a feeling its something other members here have experienced, so I'd like to see if anyone has advice/observations that could help myself and others going through the same thing. I'd like to thank you in advance if you end up reading all this, its much appreciated.

So my situation is this, I've been studying consistently for the past 6-7 years all topics that frequent this forum, ETs, Conspiracies, Consciousness, Spirituality, etc. Its been an emotional roller coaster as you know, but this past year I've felt better about life than ever before. I feel connected to all and am able to flow with life without letting it get me down too much, however I've discovered it is a lonely road.

I have a freelance job that keeps me constantly busy, but somewhat isolated since I don't work at an office with many co-workers. I only interact with a few people on a regular day, also being married doesn't leave me with much of a social life. So with the time I have, I focus on my career, my marriage and home life, and my own personal studies. I've always been a loner type so it doesn't bother me, but now I see my lack of attention towards personal relationships has started to create issues that need to be dealt with.

I don't think I'm better because I on the path of awakening, but its hard for me to interact with old friends and family that haven't grown much over the years. I don't want to talk about the same old meaningless bull**** and drama, but when I try to talk about something truthful, it never works out. Either I'm using the wrong words or people just don't want to hear it. I can't force them to change, but I can't hang around their vibrations anymore. Its sad to not see people anymore, but I can't pretend either.

A little backstory, I'm American and my wife is from Japan so culture difference is a major factor. She's been having drama interacting with my family and I'm caught in the middle trying to create peace. Both my wife and my family are a bit hot headed and not into spiritual/consciousness growth, but they all think they're good mannered, stand up people.

I see it that we're all different, yet all one, and there's no real problems, just perceptions of problems. However, I've found this explanation doesn't work for people that are pissed off, thinking they deserve an apology from someone. When the drama has been at its highest, I just feel like all my studies have been for nothing because I can't even figure out how to settle my own family disputes. I feel quite useless and utterly confused.

For now, I have to side with my pregnant wife to make sure she stays calm and relaxed for her and our baby's health. Meanwhile my family thinks I'm turning on them.

Even though my studies continue to give me great insights and feelings of positivity. I have yet to figure out how to help my loved ones around me. And that's where I'm at now. Again, thank you if you've read this far. I hope if there's others out there dealing with the same problems we can start a conversation and help each other out. Take care all.

10th August 2015, 21:18
My friend, you are so welcome here in Avalon and thanks from my heart for your truthfull thread share.
First thing CONGRATULATIONS budy you´re going to have a baby, awesome news bbro.
Second, you need to differenciat the problems, the first one is you are growing, congratulations once again, wife, job, etc... go with the flow, stay strong... this is not big deal. The second is more tricky. There is a sentence that helped me :" We are all the same, the only diference is the stage of evolution anyone is in"... You are starting to vibrate in a diference resonance that the ones usually around you, don´t worry either... you´ll started to attrack people in the same vibration. My advise: keep open, i know you are in the right direction, no doubt. Don´t have hope but trust.
JTA you are not alone and never have been.
Mucho LOVE bro

10th August 2015, 21:25
To deal with this it might be worth to add some more focus on what interests to focus on each relationship and also learn about the relationship what interests work and what don't, as well as about the interests themselves related to you. Because if 90% of your relationships are about the least interesting interests, then that's an issue. It's important to be truthful about where the excitement lies from moment to moment, this can sometimes shift a lot, also among the persons you have relationships with. So my idea to you is simply to focus more on your excitement from moment to moment and then based on that bring in various relationships into that. In this way you will build on various relationships one by one, which is also more long term than trying to please everybody always.

Also, I think it can help to be clear about this with the various relationships, not in a way that excludes them from showing your other sides and interests, but so that they can show you what they are interested in, so that you can understand how to engage in each relationship and also how to mix new combinations of relationships. This can help create a social context that is easy to understand, that constantly evolves and that works for you.

Good luck bro!!

10th August 2015, 21:32
Avec you pardon WhiteLove; ofcoure by interest you mean "what your heart is telling you"(if i know you a little).... ok, then there is no mistake!

10th August 2015, 21:35
"...those whom God hath joined together, let no man put asunder."

Funny how relatives often don't realize that means them, too :facepalm:

In other words, relatives often don't realize that they have no business coming between a married couple.

10th August 2015, 21:39
We all come with full package ha ha ha ha ha
Back to toppic, sorry

10th August 2015, 21:40
Avec you pardon WhiteLove; ofcoure by interest you mean "what your heart is telling you"(if i know you a little).... ok, then there is no mistake!

I'll answer it like an ascended master: "Yes of course" :bigsmile:

10th August 2015, 21:42
Wait until they awaken or start to question. Share a link or bring up a video t watch together on the subject that peaks your interest, but only if they wonder, "whatcha doin?" The wife is your bond. Family is there for support, if they aren't supportive then don't let them destroy your mate's and your peace. We've all had that raised eyebrow at us, but over time when the hidden criminals and plunderers are revealed, they'll notice that you've been on top of it all along and may need a little support themselves trying to handle it all. Just have patience to wait on them to ask. Others not so close as you will confirm what they too have seen. I've learned that everyone becomes aware according to how they can handle things. Some simply can't.

10th August 2015, 21:43
love you WhiteLOve ... back to topic ha ha ha... i guess i´have to start a thread on increasing sincronicitys, empathy, telepathy (i bet) and more... just great ..back to topic budies!!

10th August 2015, 21:45
I wanted to say I saw a strong sense of this subject in this thread (http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?84219-Worked-on-WTC-in-70s) and remembered how such alternative thinking caused a bit of alienation in my family. I've always thought everyone needs people to understand their point of view so I hope this forum can satiate that for you, if your family are not quite there yet. Also I think it's very common for people who awaken to have this kind of trouble looking back. However, I always think ultimately it's a battle fighting for love and family love is beautiful so battle on. And share your awakenings with us lot and spare them if they aren;t ready for it! Hope this helps

10th August 2015, 22:01
Love your nickname YoYoYo, wellcome.
We all here gone through the same thing, there are a few threads talking about awaking people. We who know have to be alert to people who starts makking questions or doubts , anyone, anywhere, don´t need to be the people around though it could be. Anyone has his/her on timing... never spit against the wind.
The awakening procces is espicially dificult with the love ones... karma : a tricked game.
I read more in your post, nt sure.. Much love

10th August 2015, 22:04
All part of "the process".

10th August 2015, 22:11
Family is a tough one. You can't be on the fence if it's a choice between the wife and your original family. The wife has to come first, because she is now your primary family. It may get tense for a while, but time seems to mellow people out eventually.
People who have yet to wake up like their slumber! Everybody wakes up in their own time. Sometimes you just have to talk about cars, sports or even Brittany Spears. It's a good exercise in patience (or beer drinking).
It is a rather lonely road to travel. Maybe there are some forum members close to you that you could socialize with.
Hang in there.

10th August 2015, 22:14
It's a funny one in my case because my father got slightly alienated from the family except me and him. Over the last few months we've been swapping notes. I'm not suprised at his ever increasing awakening but I think I suprised him

10th August 2015, 22:48
Hi JTA, it is difficult to agree with family on so many other usual or regular everyday subjects, so we know it's going to be extremely difficult to agree on the whole subject of awakening, in my case I'm waking my self and also try to awaken my daughters (whom are more receptive to all the "crazy information") my husband is a whole different matter and sometimes he thinks I might be going out of my mind, ha ha, ha. I think that ship has sailed, haha!. But seriously, like so many on Avalon our voyage is kind of lonely for everyone of us, all I can do is just be there for when they need me and offer what I can when they ask and continue with my trip, everyone's journey is different and maybe they need more time, and maybe not even in this lifetime for them. You have to be patient with yourself and with all your family, don't try to shake them out of their path, they've got their own schedule for seeing, feeling and doing. And maybe just by being awake, and in a well informed and connected state of being yourself you can make them feel that you are on the right path so it's safe for them to follow. Thank your for posting this, and yes, we are all struggling to find the truth in all the information that's out there. Don't give up, this time we win. :heart:

10th August 2015, 23:16
Congratulations on your awakening. As you have noticed, it is not always going to be easy. My family is not a problem, but some of my friends are. I am sure a few of them think I am a little on the nutty side for my beliefs and I have been called a conspiracy theorist on more then a few occasions.

My advice to you is to take your awakening slowly. You will find that your awakening will take several turns over the course of time if you haven't already noticed. Disseminating fact from fiction is not as elementary as one may think. With the wealth of information here at P.A., one cannot expect to become any sort of an expert in a relative short time. This is a big learning process and becoming enlightened can be extremely confusing (as I sometimes still am). I have been studying for about the same amount of years as you have and I still sometimes feel inferior here. There is a lot of information here, Just consume as much of it as you can and either participate with questions or keep a lot of it in a personal contemplative mode. Don't rush it. The puzzle pieces will come together and fit, one by one.

I am sorry to hear about the family problems. I have an Asian wife who my family just adores although racial preferences are very strong in my family. Give them some time but Jesus said to be fruitful and multiply. Children may very well be the turning point with your family.
Your priority should be your wife and her pregnancy. The family may come around in due course but "your" family needs the positive energy more right now.

Best of luck to you and your family.

10th August 2015, 23:45
Hello JTA_12358 and everyone:

JTA_12358 no one plans to awaken from my experience(s)! You have been chosen as the rest of the chosen people who have awakened I believe from my life experiences and choices.

You have a very strong family culture that you have married into since you married an asian woman. I know because my wife is also asian and her family is very, very strong.

You can't force your family and relatives to awaken. From experience I give my family advice that they never ask for. Usually it helps them and they always ask how I know that.....It's not because I am the sharpest pencil on the block but it's because I read as you do. Most people don't take the time to read anymore and this tends to keep them in the rut of sleep.

JTA_12358 just keep giving them good advice and they will want more and more....You secret will be your awakening and studying.

Just as time heals all disagreements. Time also brings awakening to all eventually.

Keep your family strong and enjoy your knowledge with your familyl. Always share your knowledge but never worry about it not sinking in because it is......................

If you ever want to just talk about anything maybe some of my experiences may be of benefit to you.....just drop me a private message.


10th August 2015, 23:53
Welcome to Avalon! Your heart may rest easy here if nowhere else.

We all have duties we must focus our energies on outside of this forum, but if this place provides but a brief window with which to breathe in a little cosmic light, then I hope that much can help balance your body/mind/spirit as you tread the path to light (as they say).

I'd suggest some music, some tea, and some wandering eyes. However, don't forget to relax yourself, go get tired with being of service as the world pulls you, and then relax yourself again. I'll start you off with a brilliant youtube album I found this morning of all times:

11th August 2015, 01:15
When I first opened my eyes to our reality, I wanted to shout at the top of the mountain about my new found knowledge.

I am lucky I wasn't lynched. :o

My church going friends thought I was lost. They felt the need to "pray" for me.
When I decided to not attend church anymore, even my "special occasion church going friends" took offense at that. It was okay for them to not attend church, but what I was doing was the ultimate taboo.

My family...we agreed to disagree. (they hoped I was just going through a phase)

But it's okay. I was able to meet new friends, who are more open minded. Who are willing to at least consider what I tell them.

Another thing...I learned that you can't force truth onto people who are not ready. They will fight you with every fiber of their being to protect their status quo. It's alright. We are all growing at a different pace.

Yes, it is lonely at times. But now I know that's all in my head.

At those short moments when I am able to connect to a higher power...I feel so much love coming from the ALL. So I know I am not alone.

So, please remember...it's okay. I think it is safe to say, we've all been there.

Soon you will welcome a baby! Congratulations !

The baby will be the bridge that enables you to come together as a family again.

When your loved ones are ready, they will come to you for guidance. Until then, please be patient. :)

11th August 2015, 01:16
Wow! I'm surprised to see all these replies so quickly. As this is my first post I'm delighted with the warm reception you've all given me. I'm truly grateful to have read all your kind words, that in itself has relieved my feelings of alienation. I feel much better about the situation and have a clearer vision of what I need to do moving forward. Thank you all, you've been a great help and I hope to be able to return the favor in the future.

11th August 2015, 01:58
Family is a tough one. You can't be on the fence if it's a choice between the wife and your original family. The wife has to come first, because she is now your primary family. It may get tense for a while, but time seems to mellow people out eventually.
People who have yet to wake up like their slumber! Everybody wakes up in their own time. Sometimes you just have to talk about cars, sports or even Brittany Spears. It's a good exercise in patience (or beer drinking).
It is a rather lonely road to travel. Maybe there are some forum members close to you that you could socialize with.
Hang in there.

I have to ask... I hear this all the time.... that the wife must come first. now for full disclosure I am not married and have never been married. that said. the divorce rate is almost 60 percent.. and that isn't even factoring

the ones that cheat on each other. hate each other or are just sticking around for the kids. fact is folks get married all the time. divorced all the time. stuff happens all the time.

what im 100 percent sure will never happen is the love I have for my parents, or they have for me go away. im also 100 percent positive either one would give their live for mine in a heartbeat.

I guess my question is.... does everyone agree that u must put your wife first? am I that off base?

11th August 2015, 03:30
Family is a tough one. You can't be on the fence if it's a choice between the wife and your original family. The wife has to come first, because she is now your primary family. It may get tense for a while, but time seems to mellow people out eventually.
People who have yet to wake up like their slumber! Everybody wakes up in their own time. Sometimes you just have to talk about cars, sports or even Brittany Spears. It's a good exercise in patience (or beer drinking).
It is a rather lonely road to travel. Maybe there are some forum members close to you that you could socialize with.
Hang in there.

I have to ask... I hear this all the time.... that the wife must come first. now for full disclosure I am not married and have never been married. that said. the divorce rate is almost 60 percent.. and that isn't even factoring

the ones that cheat on each other. hate each other or are just sticking around for the kids. fact is folks get married all the time. divorced all the time. stuff happens all the time.

what im 100 percent sure will never happen is the love I have for my parents, or they have for me go away. im also 100 percent positive either one would give their live for mine in a heartbeat.

I guess my question is.... does everyone agree that u must put your wife first? am I that off base?

Hello Robin1 and everyone:

I believe you must put your wife first and foremost. Parents might have raised you but your family is wife and kids then everyone else.
Parents try to meddle in most peoples lives. This is just what being a parent is all about. Just because the parents give advice doesn't mean you have to take it.

11th August 2015, 03:55
I think betoobig summed it up pretty nicely. You're on a great journey and expanding enjoy the breadth and width stay open things are syncing up, the baby blessings and joy.

11th August 2015, 04:04
Thanks for starting this discussion, JTA. I'm in a similar situation - my awakening period has been shorter, but even so old friends have rapidly fallen away with little explanation, and I don't have an outlet to discuss topics close to my heart, hence My decision to join P.A. where I hope I can find a community.

I feel a greater affinity for metaphysics or spiritual things that relate to my everyday life than reading about mining on Mars or exchange programs with other star-systems that while critical for our world in general are time-consuming to sift through. I always ask. If this is true, what will I change? How will I act differently? If it doesn't matter or if incites fear, I let it go.

When learning about TPTB I have often felt a strong urge to educate others. In part this is a natural way for me to digest and process new information, and could theoretically be mutually beneficial, but there have been very few who were interested in listening. It's disappointing. But I'm learning to be at peace with others; we all have a right to our own beliefs without the unpleasant feeling of having opinions pushed on us. Sometimes too the desire to convince can come from doubt in the views themselves. Better to be openly doubtful and cautious then. And after all that inner work, then the invitation to others to change is much more effective.

In terms of relating with loved ones, I feel there is some overlap where we can find common ground. I enter their reality mostly, and make a few jokes or arguments inviting new perspectives, but we can always enjoy the weather, celebrate successes, or some other little thing. We're a diverse planet and the people closest to us are our important, though often difficult, teachers.

Sometimes I too wonder in the midst of emotional upheaval if all my new learning actually helps. I guess it's our practical test to take ideas like "we're all one; everyone is a reflection of yourself; turn the other cheek" and actually put them into practice.

Perhaps the most fundamental is feeling alone. People often say, "You're never alone," but it really feels that way. I sit with the loneliness and it passes with time, but I really haven't gotten to the root of that feeling.

11th August 2015, 07:16
It's great to see so many well-reasoned/seasoned responses for this excellent topic for discussion. Helping loved-ones 'wake up' is like an art form, where our love for them is our best 'guide', and patience is 'our friend'. The feelings/energy shared is more important than the particular words/subjects we speak of. Also, visualizing how you would like things to go is an excellent 'tool' for staying positive.

I think each person has different ways of relating and learning... and getting to know each other's 'wiring' better, will help us learn how best to 'connect'.

All the Best...


11th August 2015, 08:45
First of all congratulation for the newborn that is coming.

I really don't know how to solve your issue but I can relate to that also. My parents and sister are not interested to grow or to seek this spiritual path that I am interested.
So to solve this problem I found Avalon and I am happy to have at least this forum as a companion for this spiritual task.
It is more like finding our tribes. And you have found yours here, just like I did.
So even though I always comment things that I read in here to my parents, they just started to listen more to the things I was saying when I also started to share news about healthily food and the advances in drugs that they could take for their disease. So they started to at least listen to my stories because the things I was saying about healthily food and drugs was true. But they are still not interested in the spiritual path. I respect them, and they have learned to respect me as well.

11th August 2015, 11:08
I am celebrating my 20 year anniversary this week (w/ 2 kids) and I love my wife dearly but I agree with robinr1. YOU are the most important. You must live with and love yourself first or what love will you have to give to your wife, child and family. So, that's my advice...to be true to yourself first. Do that and I bet your wife and child will have a wonderful husband and father.
Awakening is both a divine blessing and a curse. Like RUSirius said, it's just part of the process. I have left many family and friends behind because they were stuck in old ways of living, thinking and being. I had to because being around them took my energy level way down and I guess I'm not to the level of enlightenment where I can maintain my usually positive attitude when I am around them. I just continue to be true to who I am and hope that slowly my family will join me in a path of awakening.


11th August 2015, 11:30
Once you make a serious commitment to finding spiritual Truth it is no longer down to the "individual"
I went to an ashram in India for three weeks one Christmas--that did not go down well--temporally leaving wife and two young children.
That came about by a series of coincidences--then through a different coincidences my wife of that time went to the same ashram some time later.

I was full of enthusiasm telling everyone that I had found "God" I soon wise-d up.
I no longer mention spirituality to anyone.
No need to inform others about spirituality--if its their destiny it will come to them.
If they ask, that's different.
All is well.

Love Chris

Baby Steps
11th August 2015, 12:33
LOVE is the key. Bring more in, & let them all see that
the intellectual side of awakening- is independent. Drop any desire for people to join you in an intellectual understanding of these matters.

I have been through this, awakening is a huge opportunity to become a more loving person, and everybody picks up on that.
God bless

11th August 2015, 14:36
I have to ask... I hear this all the time.... that the wife must come first. now for full disclosure I am not married and have never been married. that said. the divorce rate is almost 60 percent.. and that isn't even factoring

the ones that cheat on each other. hate each other or are just sticking around for the kids. fact is folks get married all the time. divorced all the time. stuff happens all the time.

what im 100 percent sure will never happen is the love I have for my parents, or they have for me go away. im also 100 percent positive either one would give their live for mine in a heartbeat.

I guess my question is.... does everyone agree that u must put your wife first? am I that off base?It's only when the family of origin becomes divisive that problems arise. They want you to put their interests before those of your spouse.
In the early years, members of my family would invite me along on activities without inviting my wife, saying it was "family only". You can only imagine how that sat with my wife. I initially tried to make everyone happy, only to find out that it made no one happy.
I finally realized that I had to choose, and I chose my wife. Had I chosen my family, wife would have (rightly) said goodbye.
Of course, one only has to choose if the family of origin won't let go, or meddles in the relationship. Ideally, the new spouse is welcomed into the family with love and respect and all this is unnecessary.

11th August 2015, 17:47
One quick suggestion that I found very helpful. Search out the Echhart Tolle material (video is better at first) everything that you are concerned about is in there. The next step is to be patient with what you know. You don't have to change the world, just yourself. You can still interact with those that are asleep without becoming asleep again, you were there once so it's easy. You can interact from two perspectives at once. Try some more patience with those that are not on a similar path (not always easy, but that's how you tell where you are at the moment.) Don't look for change, be the change and we will find each other.

11th August 2015, 19:03
JTA-12358, I empathize with you bigtime and have a couple comments. First, something that eluded me in a long journey of feeling a growing philosophical separation from those I loved and loved me was that it was going to make a complete circle and I'd realize people to love were ultimately more important than the information... and all along love was the answer.

That said, one very sticky issue remains. I encourage you to quick set a precedent with your partner about agreeing to look at ALL factors when making decisions about your mutual child - and always present your side gently, but with undeniable substance. I don't know what you two have discussed/agreed/disagreed already about vaccinations, GMO foods, cartoons, video games, schooling.... but the sticky issue that may come up for you is that you're willing to look at crucial factors to determine what the right decision is for your child's health - mental, physical and intellectual.... and your partner won't... say, refuses to look at vaccination or GMO dangers or subliminals/mind control manipulation in cartoons/video/TV/movies, even corporate children's books.

Anyway, my big suggestion is to try to establish some pattern/agreement now about decisions regarding your child, or you'll find yourself feeling like you know better for CERTAIN, but having to watch your child being damaged by what your wife insists on. That to me the stickiest future ramification. GOOD LUCK.

12th August 2015, 13:07
When you are on the PATH, there is no return! The others, with their petty issues, bring boredom, huge boredom, or worse - they bring squalor, they make you want to scream at them. But you are on the PATH and you must be worth it, so practise patience towards those who have not made the first step yet.

13th August 2015, 16:10
Wow! Your situation is very similar to mine...albeit I'm not married and luckily I can talk to some members of my family about spirituality etc and they are wiling to listen, my brothers are spiritually inclined so we are able to have very long conversations which I am so grateful for...however, I find myself mainly peerless (I have like 2 or 3 friends outside of family) I too am a freelance worker where I work from home and do not go to an office (although I don't think I'd find many like minds at an office anyway), so I decided to join Project Avalon as a way of meeting like minds, I just need to be more active in the forum and hopefully will end up having some great conversations with others, including yourself if you like :)

I'm not sure I have any advice for you...just know that you are not alone in how you are feeling! I think it happens to almost everyone on the spiritual path.

Best wishes to you!

13th August 2015, 17:21
I read your OP and I think this may shed some light. You're ready.

It seems more and more evidence now supports the idea that we're all permanent, and that we just keep coming back. The Pineal Gland in brains activates at around 7 weeks in the womb, and not until that happens does brain activity show up at all, it is just a perfunctoral doubling of cells, much like fingernails growing, prior to this activation, and, it is the same every single time we look and in every fetus ever observed.

This does mean that my relationship with my mother and father is actually more like a relationship with just another one of my brothers and just another one of my sisters, than my mother and father, or, creators. They are not that at all.

Anyway, we're all on the return trip here, and even as a child to parents, because of evolution and the constant gaining of knowledge that does never stop, children are generally always smarter than their parents. The number of lives you've lived versus the number of lives someone else has lived vary by person, since, we all did not begin at the same time. New life is constantly being created, and everything, including our planet, our sun, our solar system and this galaxy we are in, keeps growing indefinitely, and, new life keeps forming.

You come in at the crystal level (so long ago to you now that it's not even worth trying to remember) and end up in the highest life form, which on this planet today, is the Human.

I think this will help you. Just remember that if your position on the soul chart is in a different place than another, the best you can possibly do to all of those to the left of you would be to calmly help them, but don't ever try to force them, for, the younger a soul the more apt it is to be wrapped up in the completely phoney world of ego. However, that is a dangerous action, pointing this out to them, for, it is more real to them than anything else, of course, because ego is their own personal interface with themselves, and their self is something they know more intimately and is more stable to them than anything else in this world.

In short, you can't force evolution on someone. It just takes time, and what has to happen is they need to die, be born, die, be born, die, be born etc. to catch up to others.

Work with what you have then, and don't bother to try to be a God and supplant a few centuries of evolution into someone.

Nature is never in a hurry, and yet everything gets done. -- Lao Tzu


13th August 2015, 17:38
Hi Everyone, while on my search more clarity, I came across this article that seemed to speak directly to my situation. I thought I'd share with you here. I'm not sure how many are familiar with this website, I just recently discovered it and find it very helpful. Hope you guys enjoy! Thanks!

Transforming Resistance Into Clarity

6th September 2015, 22:50
You were called to your path for a reason. You and your wife chose each other for a reason. Your family doesn't have to agree with your choices. They do, however, need to respect them.


15th September 2015, 19:14
Hello All,

I posted this letter I sent to my family yesterday in the forum for Bill's interview w Rebekah Roth.Bill directed me here and I would like to begin with my appreciation for all of you and for all who have contributed to this subject.
Below is the letter....here is my update:

I told my son that I was willing to talk about it if he had questions or wanted to process w me. (during my silent protest). Honestly, all I wanted was the courtesy from them to take a look...they looked, they saw and hmmmm...interesting!

My son...easy peasy, had questions and life goes on for him. I said Thank You, it's all I wanted from you and off to another day! Please note, I cannot share chucks of thought and set up family dynamics here. Suffice it to say, I have pledged from conception to create a safe environment for my child in and out.

My brother...through the chain of events, I am beginning to understand that it wasn't for him to "know" that I was looking for. It has to do with respect for humankind....I'm processing and flushing this out...

So, you know how some people talk down or childish to children and our elderly. It's always seem inauthentic to me. I made it a point to not do that w my son and honestly, a great decision- he's a cool kid!My brother (from another mother) and I have been riding this merry go round/f-ing rabbit hole, whatever you want to label it about respect. One who waits to be waited on...."why, I wouldn't blink my eye if I didn't have to" kinda stuff. It's a weird dichotomy that is really challenging to see- for it is hidden well. So well in fact that during my awakening, I have feared for our lives in not knowing if this switch will flip....and my logic says...no, not P, he's got a heart of gold...and my gut keeps saying RUN! I loathe running! I don't want to run. Relocate, yes, in a heart beat!

In the past, I always knew the next step would reveal itself, always did. Energy on this planet is very different now. Honestly, I'm glad to not have unseen forces guiding me, I'm honored that it is now "up to me." I'm wondering if this is part of the "loneliness" that I hear so many speak of...

Zombie, schlombie....live and let live.

It's about LoVe and caring and respecting each other as vital human essence.

Here is the letter I posted yesterday:Re: Bill Ryan's new interview with REBEKAH ROTH, 11 September, 2015

Bill...Thank You, I Appreciate ALL of YOU!

I completed the interview this morning. Not only was it perfect with information, the delivery was eloquent and both of you have speaking voices that are very easy to process all being said, especially for the level of content discussed....just perfect, Thank You!

It led me to my family and the barrier we have over all of this. I want to share how I chose to handle it. To preface, I live with 2 who, for sake of set up, are inclined to spend copious amounts of time involved in science, history, war and ammunition, then technology...I want to share because I know I am not alone with this issue. Thank You again!

email to my little family unit:

My Boys, I love you both insanely. With all due love and respect, I refuse to speak directly w either of you until you each listen and have discussion about what you hear in this 2hr recording.

You must also acknowledge and comprehend this term:

Cognitive Dissonance: In psychology, is the mental stress or discomfort experienced by an individual who holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values at the same time, or is confronted by new information that conflicts with existing beliefs, ideas, or values.

This Sovereign Woman was just a "Flight Attendant" for 30 yrs. I'm just a woman, a mom. We both pose the same questions "where is everybody? where is our Police, where is our Government?" Are we Biological Zombies? She has a website, all she has done is transcript-ed from legal documents that you would approve of...listen for yourself.

The difference between her and I are many and few. She stumbled upon something when beginning to attempt to write a novel and curiously began to follow connections. As did I stumble upon something so disheartening that I desired to understand. She too got physically ill - for the truth will make you sick...or, you're a zombie or you're invested in the machine.

I love ya, I'm happy, I'm thrilled to be with you guys, nothing else changes. I will communicate clearly and concisely via every other method - just not directly anymore with you two- until you at least take 3 hours of your time to listen and discuss it w each other.....and hopefully invite me fully back in your lives at some point...hey, at least I can't speak till it's done! One big diff w our quest is mine has been spiritual and heart centered that led to political.

If you can not offer me the respect of passing a mere simple "Zombie Test", then you both can sit here and have at it...I have followed many a human to the gates of hell and ALWAYS refused to go in...YOU TWO are indeed asking me to go in with you and I have to tell you, I will not go - not even for you two.

You are both my home, my heart, you expect my love and my care and my time and energy -as I expect and so very much need too from both of you and desire and love and respect and cherish.....I have lost my denial about life, my veil has been lifted and I was forced to see the truth. I have, at the very least 'banged on the damn door for you two, if you recall, you two literally had to come to my aid and nurse me for the last major aha ****ing moment, this stuff will seriously mess with how you view life!

I miss being fun and light hearten, I have been forced to pretend to be real w you two, pretend everything is status quo, when it is not. I loathe pretending. At least if you watch the video and you still choose to sleep, then okay, for we must each respect each other enough to live our very own personal brand of truth.

My truth, you are blindly jaywalking on the Autobahn.... and I as a human, as your mom and sister, as a fellow person on this Autobahn traveling with you, I have to at least be allowed to tell you "cars are coming!It's time to take a looksee."

Once you look, then okay. From there, I can find a way to lighten up again, find my honest humor once again...I miss it! At the very least, I will have a way of finding my peace with each of you and will leave it be if you choose to sleep. No more "harassment with my bs" about it. I will shut-up for you two.

Try to understand- that to me, both of your behavior is like two little kids w a mommy at some ER somewhere, asking mommy to smile, play, take care of us- wheeeeeeee, when her mind and very soul is and has been freaking the hell out from the moment they followed her husband-their father into the ER, bloodied and fighting for his life!

You both shut me down, you think I'm just whacked... "So, Boys...Ole Mom here is busy figuring out how to move forward in light of all these new circumstances, please sit down, shut up and watch this video for awhile!"

At this point, I am not afraid of our future. I am not afraid of my personal decisions and conclusions as to how I want to handle possible future scenarios. My current focus is on what to do as a free society, I know my decisions if it were to come down to slavery. I will not need the time to process these very important decisions if faced with any of them..because, I am busy learning, preparing, dealing, processing NOW...I am busy waking the hell up!

I swear to know for my fact and truth, that there is no adult alive, really even beginning to open their eyes and see what is going on, that has not personally, emotionally, mentally experienced, suffered the feelings of a huge loss. To accept such horrifying things about our very existence brings the shattering of all that you thought we were as a country, as a society, as a people. It is a painful process that can make one physically ill! This concerns the validity and safety of our home and lives....our bigger ****ing home even more so than the mere reflection of dilapidation in our very own home here!

This is my addendum to my post:

Re: Bill Ryan's new interview with REBEKAH ROTH, 11 September, 2015

Dear All,

Thank You for the replies and praise, I'm delighted! I am not so forum savvy as of yet and would like to apologize if I do not navigate w enough agility to acknowledge and Thank each of you individually...I'm learning, my tech skills are not up to speed, nor my grammar and punctuation, the latter- not so concerned about!

To clarify a little more...I was writing the email posted here this morning- before my son woke up.
I wanted to wait until he had been up and had the chance to start is day before I went all trippy silent on him. When he woke, I asked him to think of anything he wanted to speak w me about and do so soon. I said, "think of it as if it was the last time I got to use my voice to communicate w you for a few weeks."

A little later, I told him that I was writing an email for both of them and that I wasn't going to speak after I hit send. From my perspective, I don't play games. This is no joke! I have been gently and sometimes not so when I was imbalanced w my own emotions trying to tell them for the last 7 months. They have watched me change. My son has opened up in the most incredible ways this year, be it his age as well as the universal pull to awaken. We have had some very precious talks to the wee hours.
When I started to listen to the interview w Reb myself last night, I went into my brother's room (who is still listening to Glen Beck during his workday), I played two sentences out of Rebekah's mouth and he rolled his eyes. I had honestly just spent the last waking hours, (which were absolutely record breaking for me btw!) since Friday working on his computer and setting up a new website for him. He had reverted back a few settings and had many issues....You guys, chunks of thought are priceless compared to words...kinda like gmo's vs organics! I wish I could lay out the dynamics of my household, impossible as for us all. Suffice it to say, it's forever, even in the wee hours, a house full of stimulating conversation, 3 different personalities and perspectives and a safe environment for spiritual, intellectual and emotional growth. That's only inside tho, externally, we have a hyper-sense of awareness of the current poverty/slave environment of our US economy. I have watched my family slowly move along with my big leaps and bounds in awakening and this was just the next logical step for me...I trust the path to appear and it does, I go with the flow downstream.
I have a blast with all of this madness in my own head, Thankfully, I got it awhile back that I'm not just talking to me when I am alone, I have felt for quite awhile there were other dimensions involved.

This is great practice for me. I practice patience and I have earned them by dealing w my **** continually...I "gots lots" of that pseudo spiritual training down pat! LOA, Let go, Let God, Haribol... don't know where all my training leads, but hey 'bring it, I'll talk to ya! But I'm a baby to it all too. I told my bro the other day...if we are free in three years, I can not wait to see who I am and what I get to be doing!

Bill has suggested posting this elsewhere on the Forum, I intend to do so. I'm a bit of a distracted, piscean multi-tasker in need of a technical learning curve in forum speak and do, so it may take me a little time to get there.
Thank You once again everyone!

16th September 2015, 00:05
Just want add that it has been incredibly cathartic to do that! Life is really fun w all this new positron vibin'! I understood the behavior I could not pinpoint and it hit the open air this evening and dissipated! Just as all negativity is fading away! Big LoVe to All, Thank You!

16th September 2015, 01:02

16th September 2015, 02:14
Hi JTA_12358
Congratulations! How wonderful :horn:

I've been on this path nearly all my life.

What I've learned is that there is so much synchronicity in our lives if I just stay off the beaten path and keep heading in the direction that I need to nurture, nourish and uplift myself and others.

I try to immerse myself in the most uplifting, nourishing ways I know how - books, video's, food, nature etc and share that with my close and greater family because well and truly, the conspiracies are a bottomless pit. They really go on forever.

Synchronicity seems to lead me into places that I would never have dreamed of, meeting people that make me gasp with their keenness to embrace life in all its complexities.

For example, after the birth of my son, my intuition led me to joining a baby group massage course. I wanted to love and nurture my son as much as possible and this seemed like a great place to start.
All the husbands and wives were there.
I started talking to a friendly mother next to me only to find that she had hired the same home birthing pool as me and that my husband had handed her husband the kit the day after my son was born at our house!
My husband had not even recognised her husband in our sleep deprived haze and we had a great laugh over that.
What were the chances of that happening? I call it divine synchronicity.
We became the fastest of friends. The common ground we shared over natural child birthing, attachment parenting and the love of our children was amazing. It was the dominant force in my friendship with her.

I have discovered that whenever I shared what inspires me and whenever I share of myself unconditionally it seems to have an overflow effect on my friends and my family.

I am always looking for the common ground with people. If I can find that, I can still embrace the diversity that surrounds me.

For example, many moons ago now on an intuition, I joined the original PA forum. My intention was to stay open to finding people I could really connect with.
On another intuition, I joined the now defunct Melbourne Chapter of groups and I started expressing my interest in connecting with others who were like minded in my area.
The next thing you know, I have connected with one of the most open, dearest, loving person of my life. You know who you are :clapping:
I love you and you are always in my heart my dearest brother.
It was so unexpected. We went on many adventures together. We still laugh about them. He now has a young child and a wife who doesn't want to share in what he knows but he has also learned to inspire his wife in ways I don't think he is even aware of!
I am most grateful for his friendship.