When did the light go on for you?

[TinFoilSuit]

I've done my fair share of digging into esoteric topics, mostly over the last 5 or so years. Some things certainly "resonate" with me, and some things do not (sorry for the overused term). Through it all, the only thing I’ve become absolutely certain of is that I have been lied to about a great many things (history, current events, spiritual matters, etc). That is sadly among the only foundations upon which I can cling to now.

The past five years have been a roller coaster and I’ve lost a lot of friendships as a result of my newly found “awareness”, if I can even call it that. I try not to lament the loss of friends so much since I know I can never go back to my previous state of ignorance, but it is a lonely path sometimes. And every time I think I’m on to something, I get thrown for a complete loop and my world comes crashing down again. It is just soooo emotionally draining.

That said, I am eternally grateful to have found this forum. Admittedly, I’m not always the sharpest knife in the drawer, and sometimes it takes me a while to process things (Adult ADD – both a curse & a blessing). Some of the material I come across here seems completely beyond my comprehension. I guess I just wish that I could talk to someone or read something, after which things would just click for me – at least in the same manner that it seems to have for so many folks here. Some of you just seem “to know” – how, may I ask?

I guess I’m a little jealous (but also somewhat skeptical), because I’ve only had one or two “strange” experiences in my life, all of which could probably have very normal explanations. I’ve tried meditation, but my mind is impossibly itinerant. I’ve never experienced an OBE, recognized an aura, communicated telepathically, nor had any sort of premonition come true. Yet some of you have had some incredible experiences with these and much more. Again, how? Is it an awareness thing? I know that there is more out there, I just wish I could “touch it”.

And for the record, I was raised Christian, but I’d hardly call myself that now – although I do wholeheartedly subscribe to Jesus’ primary message of love, kindness and forgiveness. In fact, nothing gives me greater joy than when I'm "connecting" with others in a loving, joyful manner. I’ve also read a good deal of the Law of One transcripts but recently came across some bits of information that led me to seriously question the authenticity of the material – another disappointment.

You see, I want to believe that there’s more. But thus far in my life, I’ve found very little evidence. And with the state of current world affairs, it's becoming harder and harder to smile. I think it would help if some of you good folks could share some of your moments of epiphany, as it were.

Thanks and much love to you all,

TFS

[GloriaP]

There's much, much, much, more ..... welcome. When you wake up it can feel very lonely, and feel like you've been born on the wrong planet; in the wrong family, etc. This is common. There is a big community out there who are similar and thank goodness for the internet and for sites like this, where we can connect. Thank you Bill Ryan. Unfortunately you can't go back to not knowing (but would you want to?). Just forge ahead. Another thing when you wake up, you realise that loving kindness is beyond the divisiveness of any religion. It belongs to all and is the heart of life. Have you discovered NDE's and literature/videos on that subject? Try Eben Alexander, Anita Moorjani, Mary Neal.
I also didn't get on board with the Law of One and didn't feel it was of a pure quality. I found lots of disappointments along the way, because human beings are at different stages of development and so are prone to ego and manipulation and lower astral information (just because someone is on the other side doesn't mean they are evolved). I think your own intuition is a great tool, to learn to discern and trust what you come across.
My own journey, if it's of any help to you, was springboarded by discovering/remembering spiritual healing, from a book (it felt like I'd done it my whole life but had somehow forgotten until that moment) and Shirley MacLaine's book 'Going Within' and learning dowsing, all around the same time. Dowsing helps to hone the intuition. Then it all snowballed and I spent years studying the ageless wisdom teachings ; Alice Bailey, Helena Blavatsky, Paramahansa Yogananda, as well as philosopher J. Krishnamurti, and tuned-in physicists like David Bohm and Fritjof Capra. I devoured a library, over several years and got into meditation. I experienced outright miracles, especially with the healing, but the most interesting experiences were while in everyday consciousness and going about my business. These I don't talk about but they taught me that the dimensions are all right here. We don't have to sit in meditation in order to have an experience of a higher nature.
I wish you a happy, loving and adventurous journey.

[WhiteLove]

In this tweet (https://twitter.com/theRealKiyosaki/status/890395063372599296) business expert Robert Kiyosaki comments on the same thing only from a different angle - you are now rising above situations. You are needed.

Amy Call had an NDE that she shared to us (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=I9Y3WnsaejA) and mentioned how different areas of the world have different energy states/frequency. I believe that if you sleep at the right location you can break free from the local consciousness field and tap into intelligence at higher realms. In order to experience a UFO I think it is key to communicate a contact request through Christ, when you find the true peace within it appears there are ET beings out there that want to make a connection - they appear to seek spiritual connection, I think they are somehow aware of the emotions you send, what they mean and respond intelligently from a higher level awareness. If you want and your free will is not violated, they will open your eyes when it on a higher level makes sense to do so. When this has happened to you and you are aware of how vast our universe is, you become humble and realize how much there is to discover. This makes you lean towards seeing the truth rather than becoming stuck with the false, which has great limitation and makes you depressed.

There is a great YouTube channel called Limitless-TV (https://m.youtube.com/user/REInvestorTV) which is on the rise and I think it will become huge. For only $2.50 you can get Kris Krohn's Limitless book (https://www.amazon.com/Limitless-Reclaim-Unleash-Potential-Transform-ebook/dp/B01MUSQ687/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1501234866&sr=8-2&keywords=kris+krohn) which has an appendix with 1000 beliefs that can release a ton of density by turning the false into truth. Kris retired at the age of 26. Why, because he did not judge.

I believe that truth is layered from relative to absolute, from negative to positive. There are relative truths out there that shadow more absolute truths. Truth seeking is to a great degree a process of clearing those relative truth clouds, in other words it is a spiritual growth process. Dr. Richard Alan Miller said it nicely - "the answers are within".

Even at the level of your highest being, your highest dream of love, there is great limitation, because that is colored by your subjectivity. In fact, that incredible state of bliss is like a drop of water that has not yet hit the ocean. That is what is out there and that is what truth seekers are searching for in their quest for the truth. I call it a miracle, because that is what it is.

A major thing that confuses people is that it is generally believed the most successful, the most wealthy, the most powerful, the most business skilled, the most information aware humans on earth or wherever they are, have scaled to max and you can only achieve that much and no more. That is a false reference point. They are digging gold, have found some gold and are still at the surface.

[starlight]

TinFoilSuit, you are not alone.

I am young and had my awakening about two years ago. Like you, I've never had an 'out of this world' experience. Never seen a ufo, had an obe, seen orbs, 'felt' a presence; absolutely nothing. I understand and share your frustration. Being a small puzzle piece to this massive website can make you feel inadequate for not having an experience like the ones we read on here every day.

However, I believe we may share the same feeling- it is within reach. Think of it this way: everyone starts somewhere. Timing is everything and we do not yet fully understand it. I think our awakening is a major step in the right direction. Keep reading, researching, meditating, and consciously asking to be shown the magic we are blinded to. We live in a matrix where their sole job is to oppress us- a battle between a lion and lamb. Will you give up your fight so soon?

Be well :flower:

[sijohn]

Dear TinFoilSuit

I cant remember who said it and I am not claiming this is my own but somebody said

the truth will set you free but first it will p#ss you off

In my experience this is very true and my " awakening" was many years ago and I am sure that my experience is not unique but I am still regulary p#ssed off and frustrated and believe that obstacles are deliberately put in the way to gain the understanding nessecary to progress to a higher under standing and more complete comprehension of the "big picture".

I to, am not the sharpest knife in the box but have the ability to assimilate new imformation , data , and have a phenomenal recall of spoken imformation on a personal level but when trying to get to grips with certain subjects, theories and ideas it seems to me that my thought process becomes scrambled and I can read the same sentence many times and the imformation will just not stick but I persist and mostly overcome this.

I think this probably a war and the enemy is very powerful but can be overcome, maybe we are warriors but the path of the warrior is not an easy one and once taken can not be reversed easily, if at all.

I welcome a new comrade in the struggle, you will find many more here in avalon, I can offer you no more or better

Sijohn

[TinFoilSuit]

Sijohn, I couldn't agree with you more. I sure as heck did get very PO'd about what I was discovering. Then I started wondering about this whole simulation/game theory - I believe LadyM and others have started some incredibly interesting threads on this topic. Then again, my radar tends to go up when I see a particular topic being pushed by popular "thought leaders" like Elon Musk and Neil Degrasse Tyson. Unfortunately they don't pass the sniff test for me. You see where I'm going with this? Who do I trust?? I know, I know - myself. But what if I've been too brainwashed to deliver myself a cogent answer? :dizzy:

And here's something else I find so frustrating: why is there such pervasive a lack of curiosity out there?? Why is it that nobody wants to have a meaningful discussion that questions the status quo? Anytime I bring up an "out of the box" topic with folks I think might be receptive, I get the eye rolls and the eventual evasive transitions into less taxing topics - like sports, or what happened on Game of Thrones. Even my spouse, who is very open minded routinely shies away from "heavy" topics. Heck I enjoy light hearted chatter as much as the next person, but why does it have to be that way ALL the time? I suppose it's always been this way?

And thanks to everyone for all your kind words of encouragement. I guess I just need to vent sometimes.

TFS

[Noelle]

My first conscious OBE (AKA, the start of my awakening) was preceded by a series of dialogues with myself, deep conversations that I had almost every day for weeks and weeks. The two key dialogues focused on: 1) I am getting older, losing more and more loved ones, and I want to know what comes after death; 2) One Christmas, my daughter gave me an over-sized coffee table book of Hubble telescope images. For weeks, I would go to bed looking at the photographs -- the Pleiades, various nebula, and seas of galaxies -- meditating on them and eventually coming to the realization: "Yes, there must be more than this! There must be other intelligent life out there, other planets just like Earth."

In addition, throughout the years leading up to my first OBE, I had started to let go of many fears: the fear of evil, death, what other people thought of me. etc. And I was religion-free -- zero spiritual dogma to weigh me down.

I can't say with certainty that all of the above are the only things that led to my first OBE and the 100+ others that I have had since then. It also could be something physical, like my diet. I have been vegetarian for well over a decade; I have never been a big eater; and I exercise ever day. Though many in my family, the maternal side, are overweight, I have maintained my weight since my high school years. Food deprivation (not starvation), from what I have learned, can be conducive to OBEs. Some have suggested a correlation between low blood pressure, which I have always had, and increased ability to leave the body.

Best advice: Be patient and keep seeking.

[Noelle]

Sijohn, I couldn't agree with you more. I sure as heck did get very PO'd about what I was discovering. Then I started wondering about this whole simulation/game theory - I believe LadyM and others have started some incredibly interesting threads on this topic. Then again, my radar tends to go up when I see a particular topic being pushed by popular "thought leaders" like Elon Musk and Neil Degrasse Tyson. Unfortunately they don't pass the sniff test for me. You see where I'm going with this? Who do I trust?? I know, I know - myself. But what if I've been too brainwashed to deliver myself a cogent answer? :dizzy:

And here's something else I find so frustrating: why is there such pervasive a lack of curiosity out there?? Why is it that nobody wants to have a meaningful discussion that questions the status quo? Anytime I bring up an "out of the box" topic with folks I think might be receptive, I get the eye rolls and the eventual evasive transitions into less taxing topics - like sports, or what happened on Game of Thrones. Even my spouse, who is very open minded routinely shies away from "heavy" topics. Heck I enjoy light hearted chatter as much as the next person, but why does it have to be that way ALL the time? I suppose it's always been this way?

And thanks to everyone for all your kind words of encouragement. I guess I just need to vent sometimes.

TFS

I am not sure of the motivations behind many of the "reality" theories -- simulation, holographic, programmed and others. I give my attention to those that might explain some of my own metaphysical or paranormal experiences. By "attention," I mean I hear them out and explore them in my mind or here on Avalon. I am far from supporting any one theory.

Yes. I know a lot of people who have shut down to considering any new views about reality. It must be due to programming -- mainstream news, K-12 and college education, religion.

[Foxie Loxie]

Good sharing here on this thread! :highfive: How true that "we" are odd balls out!! LadyM correctly assessed the situation! Each of us is programmed during childhood to accept a certain mindset. Until something happens in our life to cause us to begin questioning that mindset, we follow blindly along. A horrible experience within a certain religious mindset is what started me questioning the brainwashing of my childhood. Oddly enough, it was also looking at Hubble photographs that led me to checking out Charles Hall & the Tall Whites, which in turn, led me to Bill & Kerry's interviews. That blew my little world wide open & I began to devour all I could for a long time. May the Universe bless Bill greatly for starting Avalon...a place where like minded people CAN exchange views to learn & grow!! :Party:

At this point, I would say the greatest "truth" I have learned is that each of us is an Eternal, Sovereign Being in charge of our own Journey. You can be SO thankful that your amazing journey has started; it matters not that those around you do not understand!

By the way, I have never seen a UFO, had an NDE or an OBE. There have been a few "miracles" that have happened along the way, but I think we all experience these. The only unexplainable experience I have had is a quantum entanglement with another person that I care about deeply which occurred over a period of years, but I can point to the exact day & time when that entanglement ceased.

So...be encouraged! You ARE growing & learning! :happy dog:

[TinFoilSuit]

Thank you LadyM! I loved hearing about your experience. These stories give contextual body and really help me comprehend at a deeper level.

TFS

[Helene West]

Dear Mr. Tinfoil

I was raised very religiously, am not now. Do I shun or hate the religion I left?, NO. I appreciate the good that I did get from it and credit it for my present metaphysical interests. I had an OBE when I was 19 and still going to church and the OBE had, not surprisingly, religious symbolism in it.

For about a decade I read everything metaphysical, alternative I could find. I lived in a large NE city and it had a great metaphysical/occult bookstore and I was known to the staff being there so frequently. From Betty & Barney Hill abduction type stories, Mufon membership, Jacques Vallee, Edmond Szekely (Gnostic et al), Nag Hammadi, Wicca, Christian Science (no it's not a cult and they have a lot of healings), CiM, New Thought (where Louise Hay learned her craft), Tao of Physics, tried the eastern yoga and all that but I'm too western, etc. One of the most enjoyable periods of my life.
This may be disappointing to hear but just like with organized religion the above paths are about 50% goodness and 50% bs.

I did political activity for quite a few years.

After several decades of searching, my take away:

1) Us humans are not given any freebies - We're lucky if we get one or two adults in our lives as children who will give us some practical tidbits of wisdom so we can have the tools to sort wheat from chaff in all areas for the rest of our lives, because the sorting is not going to stop. Find a path that appeals and don't have expectations too high for any of the paths cause we won't get 'answers' until we take our last breath and are before the face of God.

2) Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater - For those of us who came from religious background especially. Unless you came also from an abusive home there is some good from orthodoxy, take the good to build on and leave the rest. (for those of us from European backgrounds most of our ancestors if not parents/grandparents were Christians. As far as group karma if you believe in such, when we started leaving the churches in the late '60s we created a vacuum cause we didn't replace the religion with anything comparable. Evil, aggressive people have filled that vacuum and hence the condition of the western world. The churches for all their faults were also a place of bonding and networking which we have lost and now I believe we have a vulnerability because of no bonding as a group and other groups are taking advantage. sorry if that is too political for some).

3) Don't segregate the practical (which includes the political) from the spiritual/metaphysical - It's very frustrating when metaphysical types are so condescending towards the political. If you think working with other people on a political issue with all their various personalities, wants and needs don't involve spirituality then you like your metaphysical the same as some who like a glass or two of wine at night, just to feel good. I'm not knocking feeling good, we need to, but the political is one of many human testing grounds for one's metaphysical lessons.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Btw, a main spiritual interest currently are NDE stories. I've heard fascinating ones and they do give me a lift and hope.

[Orph]

I'm right there with you TinFoilSuit. Been searching for answers for over 40 years and don't have a single thing to show for it. Not a thing. Every time I think I'm on to something good, it turns out to be another dead end. Like you said, there are so many people that have had so many cool experiences and so many cool abilities, ....... well, ............. sometimes I wish the universe would just throw me a bone.

But, ........ in the end, there's nothing to do but keep on going. And so we shall, because that emptiness inside won't let us do any thing else.
:bowing:

[findingneo]

Hi TinFoilSuit, I think you underestimate yourself. I can see by the way you write you have enormous intelligence and beautiful communication skills.I also think it is irrelevant if you have had odd experiences yourself or not, except that it hands you a piece of a puzzle that kind of says to you that there really is something more going on. An incident that seems not to fit into what is considered by the majority as reality can potentially be a corner of a fictional pirate treasure map, that you realize is possibly real because you are holding it, you've experienced a small piece of it. It is not until you decide to embark on a journey to the edge of your piece of map, that you discover more pieces as you go along. The path is not clear, and you hit forks in the path that you think leads to "The Treasure"(the treasure being knowledge), but then that treasure might turn out to be not genuine. It happens to everyone that goes on this path. But the sooner you stop, the more likely you are to find a counterfeit version of reality. Many people are happy with that counterfeit and will defend it's value and want it to be the end of the map so much, they won't see the path that continues through the dense jungle. The path is hidden and covered with trees, huge ferns, vines and ground cover. The further you venture, the closer you get to something you never expected, and you see fragments along the way, like the corner of a stone with carvings on it, but what does it mean?

You have to experience which fork of a path you have decided to follow, to see what comes of it. If you come to realize it is a counterfeit, go back a little and continue on that path, but take a different fork, and try that. You have not gone astray, just become more educated. If you think you have found it, and stop, and are happy with that piece of nugget, that lump of gold, and stop there, and say "I've found it", chances are, it might be fools gold, or it is just a tiny piece of the mother load.

Most people on the path stop at the fools gold. People here are looking for the mother load, and everyone thinks along the way that they have found it. The trick is, to not stop even when you think you have found it, because then you go back into yet another false sleep, and there is so much more. I know now that every time I think I am in deep wading across a swamp of truth in that jungle, an unexpected mine blows me out of the water. You have to process what you find, heal what feels damaged from that experience, and keep trekking. The end of the path is much farther than you think but appears to be just over the horizon (if only you could see the wood for the trees).

None of us are there yet. There may have been someone that already knows what is at the end, the total spoils of the treasure, but I have not seen them. There are some who share and help us take the right fork in the hard to see path, and others that point us down the wrong path. But as far as we know, we are all at the frontier of that path, all those in whatever way they started out, are coming together to help each other learn. That is where it started for me the second time I woke up. Actually on the internet.

The first time I woke up: My life was just kind of a blueprint for a path that led to awakening, although it seemed like a random series of unfortunate events. Both my parents died by the time I was 6, then the 2 grandparents that looked after me from there died when I was 10, and the two other grandparents who I hardly knew, a year or two after that. my young sister took me on, and I was very restricted to keep me safe. I could not go anywhere, except when sent to my cousins farm, now that she had married a farmer, she started to have me there for weeks at a time to give my sister a rest, as she was working full time to support us both. The farm was was at the edge of the alpine region, and covered in gorgeous Eucalyptus trees, and this became more remote and eventually, wilderness as it got closer to the National Park. I had the freedom to wander for hours across his farm and up into the native forests. I loved the freedom. I went on to join expeditions for Universities wanting data from unexplored places. I did that for a bit but I was only in my late teen's and then early 20's. I went to Scotland after an expedition to Africa, and I began to meditate to try and get rid of increasing migraine, as medication did not work. While completely awake, I had an experience. I shot through the wall like I was on a flat roller coaster, the walls of the houses in the suburbs rushing up to me in a blur, split second after split second. In just a few moments I had passed through dozens, gasped, and I was back in bed. That was the first time. I hardly ever had the same experience twice, except when it was something I taught myself. I was having expanded mind stuff going on, but I had no idea of the bigger picture. I had switched on my dormant abilities.

I then got married, and my then husband convinced me I was being silly pursuing this path and i was embarrassing him as he pursued a career in mental health. I went back to being asleep and had a child. We moved back to Australia, and he left. Devastated, one day I just said to myself, "I am going to take up where I left off 18 years ago and pursue my spiritual awakening!"

I said that as I sat looking at my laptop. I switched the laptop on and decided to leave the spiritual awakening for when I would make a moment for meditation the next day, which would be the first time in 18 years. I had lost all psychic ability since the day I stopped at my husbands request. I decided to then go and look up why the schooling system seems quite "off". My daughter found it difficult to adjust to the pressures of school. I felt, why are we taught to compete in school instead of cooperate. My daughter was not competitive and felt demoralized. Then I found this old lady talking about her time at the White House decades ago as an admin, and how they thought she was just an ignorant young thing with no life experience, of no importance or threat, and stuck her in a room to sort papers for the Education Department. She was young, intelligent, and she had an amazing memory. She absorbed all those documents, and realized the system was designed to dumb us down, because that method became an adopted blueprint for other countries as well So in her 90's, as sharp as a tack, I was watching someone's great gran, tell me how it really was. I had an epiphany from watching this elderly lady talk, and within 2 hours I had the basic bones of what was going on. From there, as they say, all roads lead to Rome.

So don't doubt your path TinFoilSuit. All roads lead to Rome (eventually).
And so far I have not even got around to meditating again.
(Ok, well, a bit). :)

[TinFoilSuit]

findingneo, how are you going mate?

I honestly feel as though I've just experienced a lifetime in 10 minutes. Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful advice, along with your incredible story.

Funny side note: I recall watching 'Finding Nemo' on the flight back home from Sydney. During the scene where they pop their heads up in Sydney Harbour, I instantly teared up as the reality of our wonderful adventure coming to an end hit me. I even eventually acquired an immense liking to Vegemite, because it just reminded of the wonderful times I had in the beautiful land of Oz. And I've always jokingly told my spouse that I'd like to have my ashes strewn about the Coral Sea near Steve's Bommie (a beautiful scuba site).

Cheers mate!

TFS

[Noelle]

Hi TinFoilSuit, I think you underestimate yourself. I can see by the way you write you have enormous intelligence and beautiful communication skills.I also think it is irrelevant if you have had odd experiences yourself or not, except that it hands you a piece of a puzzle that kind of says to you that there really is something more going on. An incident that seems not to fit into what is considered by the majority as reality can potentially be a corner of a fictional pirate treasure map, that you realize is possibly real because you are holding it, you've experienced a small piece of it. It is not until you decide to embark on a journey to the edge of your piece of map, that you discover more pieces as you go along. The path is not clear, and you hit forks in the path that you think leads to "The Treasure"(the treasure being knowledge), but then that treasure might turn out to be not genuine. It happens to everyone that goes on this path. But the sooner you stop, the more likely you are to find a counterfeit version of reality. Many people are happy with that counterfeit and will defend it's value and want it to be the end of the map so much, they won't see the path that continues through the dense jungle. The path is hidden and covered with trees, huge ferns, vines and ground cover. The further you venture, the closer you get to something you never expected, and you see fragments along the way, like the corner of a stone with carvings on it, but what does it mean?

You have to experience which fork of a path you have decided to follow, to see what comes of it. If you come to realize it is a counterfeit, go back a little and continue on that path, but take a different fork, and try that. You have not gone astray, just become more educated. If you think you have found it, and stop, and are happy with that piece of nugget, that lump of gold, and stop there, and say "I've found it", chances are, it might be fools gold, or it is just a tiny piece of the mother load.

Most people on the path stop at the fools gold. People here are looking for the mother load, and everyone thinks along the way that they have found it. The trick is, to not stop even when you think you have found it, because then you go back into yet another false sleep, and there is so much more. I know now that every time I think I am in deep wading across a swamp of truth in that jungle, an unexpected mine blows me out of the water. You have to process what you find, heal what feels damaged from that experience, and keep trekking. The end of the path is much farther than you think but appears to be just over the horizon (if only you could see the wood for the trees).

None of us are there yet. There may have been someone that already knows what is at the end, the total spoils of the treasure, but I have not seen them. There are some who share and help us take the right fork in the hard to see path, and others that point us down the wrong path. But as far as we know, we are all at the frontier of that path, all those in whatever way they started out, are coming together to help each other learn. That is where it started for me the second time I woke up. Actually on the internet.

The first time I woke up: My life was just kind of a blueprint for a path that led to awakening, although it seemed like a random series of unfortunate events. Both my parents died by the time I was 6, then the 2 grandparents that looked after me from there died when I was 10, and the two other grandparents who I hardly knew, a year or two after that. my young sister took me on, and I was very restricted to keep me safe. I could not go anywhere, except when sent to my cousins farm, now that she had married a farmer, she started to have me there for weeks at a time to give my sister a rest, as she was working full time to support us both. The farm was was at the edge of the alpine region, and covered in gorgeous Eucalyptus trees, and this became more remote and eventually, wilderness as it got closer to the National Park. I had the freedom to wander for hours across his farm and up into the native forests. I loved the freedom. I went on to join expeditions for Universities wanting data from unexplored places. I did that for a bit but I was only in my late teen's and then early 20's. I went to Scotland after an expedition to Africa, and I began to meditate to try and get rid of increasing migraine, as medication did not work. While completely awake, I had an experience. I shot through the wall like I was on a flat roller coaster, the walls of the houses in the suburbs rushing up to me in a blur, split second after split second. In just a few moments I had passed through dozens, gasped, and I was back in bed. That was the first time. I hardly ever had the same experience twice, except when it was something I taught myself. I was having expanded mind stuff going on, but I had no idea of the bigger picture. I had switched on my dormant abilities.

I then got married, and my then husband convinced me I was being silly pursuing this path and i was embarrassing him as he pursued a career in mental health. I went back to being asleep and had a child. We moved back to Australia, and he left. Devastated, one day I just said to myself, "I am going to take up where I left off 18 years ago and pursue my spiritual awakening!"

I said that as I sat looking at my laptop. I switched the laptop on and decided to leave the spiritual awakening for when I would make a moment for meditation the next day, which would be the first time in 18 years. I had lost all psychic ability since the day I stopped at my husbands request. I decided to then go and look up why the schooling system seems quite "off". My daughter found it difficult to adjust to the pressures of school. I felt, why are we taught to compete in school instead of cooperate. My daughter was not competitive and felt demoralized. Then I found this old lady talking about her time at the White House decades ago as an admin, and how they thought she was just an ignorant young thing with no life experience, of no importance or threat, and stuck her in a room to sort papers for the Education Department. She was young, intelligent, and she had an amazing memory. She absorbed all those documents, and realized the system was designed to dumb us down, because that method became an adopted blueprint for other countries as well So in her 90's, as sharp as a tack, I was watching someone's great gran, tell me how it really was. I had an epiphany from watching this elderly lady talk, and within 2 hours I had the basic bones of what was going on. From there, as they say, all roads lead to Rome.

So don't doubt your path TinFoilSuit. All roads lead to Rome (eventually).
And so far I have not even got around to meditating again.
(Ok, well, a bit). :)

Well said. And what a path you've been on!

[TinFoilSuit]

This may be disappointing to hear but just like with organized religion the above paths are about 50% goodness and 50% bs.



I laughed out loud at this! :ROFL:

And I completely concur with your sentiments about not throwing out the proverbial baby. It's why I still attend a neighborhood church from time to time. There is still truth and valuable experiences to be had, despite the fact that I strongly disagree with most of the Old Testament (Not to mention the official church stance on reincarnation).

I'm not sure I fully understand your 3rd point re: political/metaphysical. If you have the time, I'd love it if you could expand upon this a little further.

Cheers, and thank you so much!

TFS

[Vangelo]

What an interesting topic. It is clear from the responses that we each define 'the light' that we have been searching for differently. But you also said that 'nothing gives me greater joy than when I'm "connecting" with others in a loving, joyful manner'.

I have recently read a memoir called The Inconsequential Child (https://www.amazon.com/Inconsequential-Child-Overcoming-Emotional-Neglect-ebook/dp/B01GZ076Y6/ref=dp_kinw_strp_1). It is about someone on his life's journey and came to a similar conclusion to yours i.e. that life is about relationships. The relationship we have with one-self as well as the relationships we have with others. The power of The Inconsequential Child (https://www.amazon.com/Inconsequential-Child-Overcoming-Emotional-Neglect-ebook/dp/B01GZ076Y6/ref=dp_kinw_strp_1) however, is about how the author uncovered those facets of his psyche that prohibited him from being that vulnerable. He then describes how he overcame those limitations. This book really resonated with me. I hope it does for you as well.

[findingneo]

TinFoilSuit, the smallest things can add up to more than the sum of it's parts. You talk about the little things that made an impact on you, all relating to Australia. In the early days when I was awakening to the greater reality, I watched a movie that was just released in the U.K. It was called "Dead Again" and was a Hollywood style story of reincarnation. It starred Emma Thompson and her husband, Kenneth Branagh.

So 6 months passes and I had my first Past Life Regression and it made a huge impact on me. I wanted to learn to regress others in the future. Just after the regression, I met my husband and we married. We went to live in Australia. He had settling in problems and we went back and forth another 2 times to Scotland. Eventually, we settled in Dunoon, Scotland. We finally bought our first house, I had a baby and I needed to go back to work. So I worked in a little general store at the edge of the town, surrounded by beautiful Scottish tree covered hills near to the Holy Loch where that old WW2 movie about the bouncing bomb was filmed. I worked alone and it was pretty quiet. One day, in walks Emma Thompson, the famous actress and also the star of that movie that made such an impact on me. She is like she is in the movies btw, except more confident, anyway, she rushed into that little general village store, chatted to me and mumbled to herself and rushed about looking for veg. She dumped her arm full on the counter and a few potatoes and tomatoes rolled across the counter. She rushed out and said her husband would be in to pay in a minute or two. So her hubby walked in. It was Greg Wise, or John Willoughby from Sense & Sensibility (Phwoar!). I expect they met on the set. Kenneth Branagh was now divorced, and new hubby, Greg Wise, or John Willoughby was standing in front of me. Just him, and me. I thought maybe I should pinch myself, anyway, he went to pay, had no money and rushed out to find Emma and her purse in the Post Office next door. He came back, paid and he looked at me and I looked at him. No one else about. Not a soul in the building. So what did I say to him at that moment? Wait for it,

"Would you like a bag with that?"

(Perhaps I should pretended to sprain my ankle so he could sweep me up like in S&S, or I could have adopted the Scottish lingo for that region of Scotland, for that very situation and said instead, "Would you like a wee poke with that?").

But instead I continued,"I thought I should just ask. As I know you guys are so environmentally friendly", I said. (I had just read about them in one of those TV mags on the store shelf). Greg's shoulders slumped, "Yes, we are" he said. So no plastic bag and he juggled the lot on the way to the car parked out front. More escaped potatoes and onions. And they were off. I found out later they had just brought a house along the road. After a movie she had just filmed in the area. After that I saw her quite a number of times even after that old store closed down, usually involving vegetables actually. I have never worked out what tomatoes mean.

So fast forward 10 years, we are in Australia, hubby evacuates, leaving me and our daughter, and I start my online awakening and decide to do a course in facilitating Past Life Regression. I do it, finish on my birthday 3 years ago, and I have even incorporated a bit of the Antique owners method from Dead Again into my method. (Not the bit where he finds where the jewellery is hidden, lol).

So yes, synchronicity is an amazing thing.
Sorry, I do talk too much.

[Spellbound]

I was watching UFO Hunters back in 2009 and learned about Bob Lazar (I was unaware of him before that). So I googled Lazar which led me to John Lear....which led me to Project Camelot....with led me to all the PC interviews done with Bill and Kerry. BOOM!! Light went on and got really really bright.

Dave - Toronto

[TinFoilSuit]

findingneo, this is going to sound a bit strange:

First let me say that I thoroughly enjoyed that movie. And that is indeed a crazy coincidence! A peculiar memory I have about that particular movie was the audience's reaction. I don't know why, but the audience in that theatre was so vociferously moved by the suspense of the show, that it stands out in my memory. So much so, that I can vividly recall the theatre (Tustin Market Place), along with the folks with whom I saw the show. I'm not sure why I'm detailing this but what the heck. This movie did also leave an indelible imprint on my memory bank.

And might I add that you have a wonderful way in which you paint your stories!

Here's the other peculiar thing: so here I am, sort of complaining that I haven't had very many "unexplainable" experiences in my life. Which, when I really think about it, maybe there are some things but perhaps I've just doubtingly convinced myself otherwise. Anyways, as I was just beginning to type up this response, my wife called me upstairs. She was nearly asleep - what startled her was that the light in our bedroom just turned on by itself - I am not kidding you right now. Fyi, this is a remote controlled ceiling fan light, and this has happened before, but we chalked it up to the remote inadvertently being nudged. This can't possibly be a coincidence??

TFS

P.s. My jaw is on the floor right now and I'm actually concerned that I don't sound credibie.

[findingneo]

You are tuning in TinFoilSuit to your surroundings. I bet if you look back you will find more as well. You know to take notice now. Thanks for sharing. :)

[findingneo]

I sent a return message, hope it got to you TinFoilSuite. I am a newb so not sure if I was even typing in the right spot. Anyway, regarding those little clues that the universe leaves? The movie, Grand Canyon (1991) is a great example of that. Have you seen it? Unfortunately, it won't be widely known for that because all that I can see that those that reviewed it, did not pick up on those clues. Not sure how to add a link, so you may need to copy and paste into you tube to see this trailer. Hopefully, you can pick the full movie up somewhere, without too much of a search if you choose to watch the full movie. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PI8VXaQiWs

[Innocent Warrior]

I guess I’m a little jealous (but also somewhat skeptical), because I’ve only had one or two “strange” experiences in my life, all of which could probably have very normal explanations. I’ve tried meditation, but my mind is impossibly itinerant. I’ve never experienced an OBE, recognized an aura, communicated telepathically, nor had any sort of premonition come true. Yet some of you have had some incredible experiences with these and much more. Again, how? Is it an awareness thing? I know that there is more out there, I just wish I could “touch it”.

I've experienced a lot of doubt, still do with some things, to a degree, and I've found reading about it from a scientific perspective has helped a lot with that. I found this in a list of parapsychology books, I'm only 21 pages into it but from what I've read so far I think it may be of interest to you. The book is titled, "Man Is a Spirit: A Collection of Spontaneous Cases of Dream, Vision and Ecstasy" by J Arthur Hill. It's an old book (1918) containing a collection of accounts from experiencers and it opens with a great discussion about evidence.

Free full PDF (scanned copy) - http://ia902304.us.archive.org/11/items/manisspiritcolle00hill/manisspiritcolle00hill.pdf

If you find the scientific approach helpful and haven't done so already, check out quantum theory, articles on the spiritual implications of quantum theory should point you in the right direction.

"The Holographic Universe" by Milcahel Talbot and "Biocentrism" by Robert Lanza are amazing books too (see free PDFs thread for a full copy of Biocentrism), even if you don't like the theories they're still full of gems.

* * *

Enjoy ~

L8mLrLDd-5Q

[Tintin]

Dear TinFoilSuit

I cant remember who said it and I am not claiming this is my own but somebody said

the truth will set you free but first it will p#ss you off

In my experience this is very true and my " awakening" was many years ago and I am sure that my experience is not unique but I am still regulary p#ssed off and frustrated and believe that obstacles are deliberately put in the way to gain the understanding nessecary to progress to a higher under standing and more complete comprehension of the "big picture".

I to, am not the sharpest knife in the box but have the ability to assimilate new imformation , data , and have a phenomenal recall of spoken imformation on a personal level but when trying to get to grips with certain subjects, theories and ideas it seems to me that my thought process becomes scrambled and I can read the same sentence many times and the imformation will just not stick but I persist and mostly overcome this.

I think this probably a war and the enemy is very powerful but can be overcome, maybe we are warriors but the path of the warrior is not an easy one and once taken can not be reversed easily, if at all.

I welcome a new comrade in the struggle, you will find many more here in avalon, I can offer you no more or better

Sijohn

The quote came from Gloria Steinem

[findingneo]

I have The Holographic Universe. It is very good.

[Ernie Nemeth]

Moments of epiphany.

Realized at 4 my dad lies.

At 10 learnt that authorities lie.

At 12 learnt that there are very perverted people in the world.

At 14 learnt that no one knows what's going on.

At 15 learnt my god is an imposter.

At 17 learnt there is a power unseen and virtually untapped.

At 19 learned school is a waste of time.

At 29 learnt that no one can be trusted.

At 35 learned that people are robots.

At 40 learned that unseen power cares about me.

At 50 learned that unseen power comes with conditions.

At 53 started to unlearn the many lies I had internalized.

At 56 learned that unseen power finds me not worth helping.

At 58 learned there is nothing but me and the world I created.

At 59 I learned this life is a sham.

As I turn 60 I wonder what more can be done to one man and a potential world he cared so much about all his life but could never get others to understand or to help bring about.

My life has been a string of epiphanies, not all fun but every one paradigm altering.


Edit to add: I just remembered this poem I wrote at age 40, my true night of epiphany. Forgot about that night. Or the ensuing forty days and forty nights of devotional poems I wrote because of it. This is one of them:


CONSECRATION

Late one night at quarter to three,
I had a fright, an epiphany.
That morning was to honor fools,
The day I learned that God still rules!
Alone I sat in the sunroom,
Staring out at the moonless gloom.
While in my hands, a special book,
Made me see so I had to look.
God and a man were talking there
About His plan, His holy dare.
God’s honest words dispelled the lie,
Upon which I’d learned to rely.
And in that state, confused and lost,
I’m tied to fate at any cost.
My soul’s destiny, that’s my goal,
I cannot play my former role.
That night He came and made me see
I’m not the same once He’s in me.
With just a poke, a gentle shake,
I knew it’s true and not a fake.
He filled a hole deep in my heart,
Promised my soul we’d never part.
With love He poured ‘till I near burst,
No fear or pain could slake that thirst.
I felt it first and had no doubt –
God’s tryst to turn me inside out.
In fear I balked and begged Him no!
To stand aside and let me go …
Then a spider rushed to my feet,
God inspired, it stopped there, neat.
Alone, still dazed; the spider said:
“I am in all!” and then it fled.

[WhiteLove]

But to really answer your question. The light truly went on for me in an OBE that I had (I left my body in a standing position) in which God showed me what infinite love is like. Totally changed my perspective on everything.

In the Law of One, it is mentioned about how spirits encounter various catalyst situations. It is like this, unconditional love is very powerful. People have free will and they can use that free will to give in to fear in those situations - which results in judgment/non-acceptance which the self-service draws its negative energy from. But deep inside everybody have an inner child that wants unconditional love, joy and freedom. When you walk the path of your authentic self, which is a walk of service to others, do know that although it can be painful at times (because the service to self portion dies a little every now and then in various moments of catalysis), just accept this, it is part of the spiritual growth process to go through this.

You are needed. :heart:

In my OBE, I asked God: "How can I find to this place?" (referring to the heaven like place where my OBE started) God replied: "Just love unconditionally".

I learned that unconditional love is the key.

The Bible - Colossians 2:

"2) My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge." (source) (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Colossians+2)

Rascal Flatts - "Yours If You Want It" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qwu-B6gPHKU&list=PL-2gFmtzGAOhdzJRADZk56YMQ1j3fXmdk)

Bethany Barnard feat. Shane Barnard - "Covenant" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TsZQbjYER4)

:flower:

[Bubu]

the light came on to me many times each time realizing that the previous one was darkness. Until I finally realize that where I came from light was present. I left it searching for it. I left it because some people told me that I have to search for it to be a good person to be save. Ernie is right. this world is full of liars now that's the real light. so listen to you. each one has a different truth, yours is yours alone.

[Chester]

The winter of 2003 I was handed a copy of David Icke's The Biggest Secret. About a month later, after finishing the book... well, ever since, I have never been the same.

[Spiral]

The light can go on ? Where's the switch ?

MrCPIrs90eg

[Satori]

One late night about 14 years ago, after 9/11, when I happened to catch an interview of Joe Bannister, the former IRS Special Agent. He spoke passionately about and against the monetary, fiscal and taxation system (scam) known as central banking. He spoke highly of G Edward Griffin's book, The Creature From Jekyll Island. I got and read, and reread and understood, that book. It helped/caused me to understand the "Mandrake Mechanism" Griffin writes and speaks of. As well as the Fabian collectivism and Rhodesian CFR type power and control operations at work to keep us in servitude.

[turiya]

I had a very authoritarian father. Out of that type of upbringing grew a distrust of authoritarian types of people, in general - teachers, institutions, politicians, bureaucracies & governments, or anyone else wanting to impose their control over the working class people. As a result of this kind of upbringing, very early on, I found myself questioning the 'status quo' establishment.

So, in the early 90s, I began questioning the reason why Americans were supposedly "required" to have a Social Security Number to live and work, to have a bank account, and other things... Whereas, foreign nationals were not subject to this so-called "requirement." I acquired a book entitled "Social Security Number Not Required." (https://www.google.com/search?biw=917&bih=639&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=%22%22Social+Security+Number+Not+Required.%22%22&oq=%22%22Social+Security+Number+Not+Required.%22%22&gs_l=psy-ab.3...898505.1524518.0.1525756.2.2.0.0.0.0.377.526.0j1j0j1.2.0....0...1.1j2.64.psy-ab..0.1.148...0i13k1.ZsSMC-Jx-0c#imgrc=ZuC4iUfLFXmN2M:)

I remember that it was not my idea to acquire a SSN, but the idea was imposed upon me by my parents who, in the name of "good intentions", they thought they were doing their best for their children.

And then later, my inquiry broadened into the area of Income Taxation, which appeared to me as being a form of slavery - Why should I give away pretty much one-third of my earnings to another entity? After years of research into various authors on this subject, I came across a book written by a man by the name of Otto Skinner entitled, "The Biggest Tax Loophole of All". (https://www.google.com/search?q=%22The+Biggest+Tax+Loophole+of+All%22&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiahuaojLDVAhVLHT4KHQ5jDlYQ_AUICygC&biw=917&bih=639#imgrc=4viu6j1DvmTONM:)


https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/31iFi8N3RsL._SL500_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

Within this book, Otto Skinner completely explained what the so-called "Income" tax was about & precisely who was subject to & liable for such a tax. And, to my elated surprise, he clearly laid it out to me that pretty much 90% of Americans were not required to pay such a tax, but were simply misled, i.e. "brainwashed", into believing that everyone was required to have a Social Security Number & subject to pay an "Income" tax. As, it was noted that the Internal Revenue Code was written by banksters. No doubt, the same people that were meeting on Jekyll Island. Otto described it as a massive deception that was played upon the American public. It is the biggest exploitation of the populous in American history - through a cunning use of verbiage & misapplication.

From then on, my awareness has continued to expand... traveling outside the borders of the U.S.... getting involved with various methods of meditation and continues to expand at present.

[findingneo]

I can say it happened again recently. Trying to discover why the ET experiences that I witnessed, was more like a non physical experience, that could be likened to all those non physical entities, positively oriented and negatively oriented, the light bulb went on. None of them are physical. They all are inter dimen sional, and any perceived physical form is temporary.

[Spiral]

I've done my fair share of digging into esoteric topics, mostly over the last 5 or so years. Some things certainly "resonate" with me, and some things do not (sorry for the overused term). Through it all, the only thing I’ve become absolutely certain of is that I have been lied to about a great many things (history, current events, spiritual matters, etc). That is sadly among the only foundations upon which I can cling to now.

The past five years have been a roller coaster and I’ve lost a lot of friendships as a result of my newly found “awareness”, if I can even call it that. I try not to lament the loss of friends so much since I know I can never go back to my previous state of ignorance, but it is a lonely path sometimes. And every time I think I’m on to something, I get thrown for a complete loop and my world comes crashing down again. It is just soooo emotionally draining.

That said, I am eternally grateful to have found this forum. Admittedly, I’m not always the sharpest knife in the drawer, and sometimes it takes me a while to process things (Adult ADD – both a curse & a blessing). Some of the material I come across here seems completely beyond my comprehension. I guess I just wish that I could talk to someone or read something, after which things would just click for me – at least in the same manner that it seems to have for so many folks here. Some of you just seem “to know” – how, may I ask?

I guess I’m a little jealous (but also somewhat skeptical), because I’ve only had one or two “strange” experiences in my life, all of which could probably have very normal explanations. I’ve tried meditation, but my mind is impossibly itinerant. I’ve never experienced an OBE, recognized an aura, communicated telepathically, nor had any sort of premonition come true. Yet some of you have had some incredible experiences with these and much more. Again, how? Is it an awareness thing? I know that there is more out there, I just wish I could “touch it”.

And for the record, I was raised Christian, but I’d hardly call myself that now – although I do wholeheartedly subscribe to Jesus’ primary message of love, kindness and forgiveness. In fact, nothing gives me greater joy than when I'm "connecting" with others in a loving, joyful manner. I’ve also read a good deal of the Law of One transcripts but recently came across some bits of information that led me to seriously question the authenticity of the material – another disappointment.

You see, I want to believe that there’s more. But thus far in my life, I’ve found very little evidence. And with the state of current world affairs, it's becoming harder and harder to smile. I think it would help if some of you good folks could share some of your moments of epiphany, as it were.

Thanks and much love to you all,

TFS

It is painful when beliefs come crashing down, but the thing is they are often the main barrier to widening & deepening understanding, and when I say beliefs it goes waaaaaaaay further than religion !

(I'm sure many of use have been there & know what you are going through ! )

As for the "experiences", you get what you need not what you want in my experience, but that said there are things you can do.

Altered states are some thing anyone can do (without drugs, never a good idea) with practice & a modicum of determination, simple breathing exercises focusing on the breath are a great place to start, you can go a long way with it too !

When relaxed, counting backwards down from 100 with your (closed) eyes looking up about 15° can prove a fast way to enter other brain wave states, with practice counting down from 10 can be enough.

Always ask for protection & guidance before such things too (drawing a circle of protection around you in your minds eye is also a good precaution ).

[Foxie Loxie]

Spiral...still don't understand the exact trigger point of your "wake up"! :confused:

[Spiral]

Spiral...still don't understand the exact trigger point of your "wake up"! :confused:

Me neither, I can remember before I was born, probably comes from not being educated or inducted into anything lol.

When you live outside society you become an observer, esp if you have the added burden of being sensitive to certain things, like seeing dead people.

[Foxie Loxie]

Oh WOW, Spiral!! Do you remember actually "volunteering" to incarnate on Earth to help things along here? It's only been in the past couple years that I have been able to come to a little better understanding about ANY of this. At least it makes me feel that my life HAS had some purpose, even tho' outwardly it would seem otherwise. :crazy: At what age did you remember before you were born?

I have only had one experience of seeing someone at the foot of my bed who I KNEW was "dead"! I guess the point is...we are Eternal Beings & need to remember exactly WHO we are; not what we have been told from childhood. It's like we have been born into a prison & we don't even know it!! :sleep:

:noidea:

[Spiral]

Oh WOW, Spiral!! Do you remember actually "volunteering" to incarnate on Earth to help things along here? It's only been in the past couple years that I have been able to come to a little better understanding about ANY of this. At least it makes me feel that my life HAS had some purpose, even tho' outwardly it would seem otherwise. :crazy: At what age did you remember before you were born?

I have only had one experience of seeing someone at the foot of my bed who I KNEW was "dead"! I guess the point is...we are Eternal Beings & need to remember exactly WHO we are; not what we have been told from childhood. It's like we have been born into a prison & we don't even know it!! :sleep:

:noidea:

Please check your PMs :waving:

I can remember past lives that go back quite a long time here, and then before that "elsewhere" .

As a child I had little interaction with my parents & got ignored at school by the militant feminist teachers that ran my primary school (like the rest of the boys in the class, lots of whom got removed) which meant I missed the programming that pulls a small child into this material realm & fully out of the natural condition of being aware of the energies & beings around us that so called "primitives" are well aware of.

As a teenager I wanted to join the RAF (due to a previous life flying bombers) , until a voice told me that I wouldn't be fighting the Nazis, but fighting for Exxon- Mobile, which seemed very odd to me as a 14 yr old but it's since become a very clear reality.

It still took a lot of time over the past 10 years or so to get up to speed with the full extent of the corruption & crazy machinations of human beings.

[Jackson]

Hello everyone....

I had my great awakening one day while sitting in a very relaxed state, I realized that I was living in a box....a box? The box being my awareness of how life is. I looked up and saw that the box had a lid. I stood-up and looked out of the box and had a momentary look at ALL that existed. I could see everything in great detail.....everything. I sat down in my box again and my first thought was...."Jackson, you can never un-know what you just witnessed....." I also understood that I create my reality....100%. So....if that is the case, then I want it to be exactly like I want it to be.....every moment. It has not disappointed me. I took responsibility for everything that has happened in my life. I have had an amazing life playing Jackson. I am so happy I chose this avatar to come down and play this game of being human. Actually for me it was easy. I had a lot of practice before I got here. What a ride! I hope you enjoy yours.

[happyuk]

What a great post Ernie. You're absolutely right in wisdom being a series of uncovering of delusions and disappointments, rather than some grand spectacular 'visions' or interminable 'revelations'

[Ernie Nemeth]

Thanks Happyuk,

This was the last poem in the series. It sums up what this presence relayed to me and that I have been struggling with ever since:


THE CALLING


Cast adrift among my peers,
My forlorn calls no one hears.
Alone and separate, awash in sins,
This is where the tale begins.

I pull my hair and pound my chest,
But I cannot end my lifelong quest,
The grail I seek at any cost? –
The fragile truth, easily lost.

Among the words, between the lines,
There is a hint, there are some signs.
The golden thread that binds them all,
I cannot find, I don’t recall.

The years go by and still I find,
I’m lesser than this task of mind.
My thoughts may fly and circle round,
But all lead back to zero ground.

Then a phrase, from some unknown source,
Suggests a path, a novel course.
The truth’s inside, the message said,
Forget your thoughts, just be instead.

That can’t be right, screamed out my brain,
What truth is there inside my pain?
No message heard or marvel scenes,
Could come from there, by any means.

Just be silent, relax my dear,
Don’t see your eye, don’t hear your ear,
Don’t feel your bones, don’t have a thought,
Don’t think about what you have sought.

Just be yourself, be with your Self,
This state promotes your soul’s good health.
Exist right now, in the present,
Be still, stay close, ride the moment.

And if by chance a thought should stray
Through your mind, just shoo it away.
Feel warm and safe, this is your home,
No matter how near or far you roam.

Be patient love, there is no hurry,
Release your hurt, give up your worry.
The guilty past, the future fear,
Neither one holds meaning here.

Now at last the truth be known,
With my gold thread the truth is sown.
Open your hearts, this is the cue,
Love is in every one of you

For I am you, don’t let me go,
‘Cause I am all you need to know.
Design your dreams, both big and small,
And we’ll create them, one and all.

It is when it got to "open your hearts" part that I thought I was about to be annihilated by love, with equal parts dreading the experience and another part yearning for it. The dread part won that night...I've regreted since what could have been. But after much contemplation I realize I was not ready, and I feel I still am not.
I did not come here to dispel the lie. I came here to experience it so that whatever my true reality is, I will not make the same mistake there.
This body, this reality, is nothing but a sham...

[TinFoilSuit]

Profound and beautiful. Thank you for this!

TFS

[Foxie Loxie]

Thanks for sharing, Jackson. Most unusual "awakening"! :idea: Ernie, indeed what you wrote IS profound & most worthy of introspection! What a unique thought, about not coming here to dispel the lie!!....but to experience it! I DO hope that we carry with us what we have experienced & learned in this short lifetime. The outlook you have makes it all seem more "bearable"! :sun:

[findingneo]

Hi Spiral, can you expand on your experiences of "The Elsewhere" please? Thank you.:dancing:

[Vangelo]

Ernie, your poem is extraordinarily beautiful. Regarding



It is when it got to "open your hearts" part that I thought I was about to be annihilated by love, with equal parts dreading the experience and another part yearning for it. The dread part won that night...I've regreted since what could have been. But after much contemplation I realize I was not ready, and I feel I still am not.
I did not come here to dispel the lie. I came here to experience it so that whatever my true reality is, I will not make the same mistake there.
This body, this reality, is nothing but a sham...

Here is an excerpt from The Inconsequential Child (https://www.amazon.com/Inconsequential-Child-Overcoming-Emotional-Neglect/dp/0988679175/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1501730067&sr=8-1&keywords=the+inconsequential+child) that you may find of interest.

"... I learned how to bring my self, or more precisely my emotional state, to a safe place of warmth, strength, and serenity. With an open heart chakra, you can experience life from the perspective of unconditional love. Experiencing an open heart chakra and learning how to experience life with unconditional love is a life-altering skill. With it, you are both able and willing to experience everything life has to offer, whether painful or wondrous, because you don’t need to protect yourself. With an open heart chakra, you know you can come to your heart center whenever you need too. As a result, your life experiences and memories are not automatically rejected or filtered. Instead, they are experienced in their purest form. Once experienced; you can see how your memories are impacting your life or the life of another. In this way, giving and receiving unconditional love becomes your norm. It does not mean, however, that you experience life through rose colored glasses. Quite the contrary. You can now see and experience all as it truly is, but without fear."

[Spiral]

Hi Spiral, can you expand on your experiences of "The Elsewhere" please? Thank you.:dancing:

Outside this solar system & this "density", not sure I want to go too far into that in public, I'll sound like a lunatic to some & a braggard to others, neither of which is that appealing.

:bowing:

[Vangelo]

THE CALLING

Cast adrift among my peers,
My forlorn calls no one hears.
Alone and separate, awash in sins,
This is where the tale begins.

I pull my hair and pound my chest,
But I cannot end my lifelong quest,
The grail I seek at any cost? –
The fragile truth, easily lost.

Among the words, between the lines,
There is a hint, there are some signs.
The golden thread that binds them all,
I cannot find, I don’t recall.

The years go by and still I find,
I’m lesser than this task of mind.
My thoughts may fly and circle round,
But all lead back to zero ground.

Then a phrase, from some unknown source,
Suggests a path, a novel course.
The truth’s inside, the message said,
Forget your thoughts, just be instead.

That can’t be right, screamed out my brain,
What truth is there inside my pain?
No message heard or marvel scenes,
Could come from there, by any means.

Just be silent, relax my dear,
Don’t see your eye, don’t hear your ear,
Don’t feel your bones, don’t have a thought,
Don’t think about what you have sought.

Just be yourself, be with your Self,
This state promotes your soul’s good health.
Exist right now, in the present,
Be still, stay close, ride the moment.

And if by chance a thought should stray
Through your mind, just shoo it away.
Feel warm and safe, this is your home,
No matter how near or far you roam.

Be patient love, there is no hurry,
Release your hurt, give up your worry.
The guilty past, the future fear,
Neither one holds meaning here.

Now at last the truth be known,
With my gold thread the truth is sown.
Open your hearts, this is the cue,
Love is in every one of you

For I am you, don’t let me go,
‘Cause I am all you need to know.
Design your dreams, both big and small,
And we’ll create them, one and all.


Hi Ernie,

I've shared your poem with 4 people I thought would appreciate it. I have been surprised how much it has resonated with them. You have certainly touched a chord here. :thumbsup:

[Noelle]

Hi Spiral, can you expand on your experiences of "The Elsewhere" please? Thank you.:dancing:

Outside this solar system & this "density", not sure I want to go too far into that in public, I'll sound like a lunatic to some & a braggard to others, neither of which is that appealing.

:bowing:

No lunatics or braggards here on Avalon ... are there? :confused:

[Foxie Loxie]

That depends......:sarcastic::jester:

[Chester]

Hello everyone....

I had my great awakening one day while sitting in a very relaxed state, I realized that I was living in a box....a box? The box being my awareness of how life is. I looked up and saw that the box had a lid. I stood-up and looked out of the box and had a momentary look at ALL that existed. I could see everything in great detail.....everything. I sat down in my box again and my first thought was...."Jackson, you can never un-know what you just witnessed....." I also understood that I create my reality....100%. So....if that is the case, then I want it to be exactly like I want it to be.....every moment. It has not disappointed me. I took responsibility for everything that has happened in my life. I have had an amazing life playing Jackson. I am so happy I chose this avatar to come down and play this game of being human. Actually for me it was easy. I had a lot of practice before I got here. What a ride! I hope you enjoy yours.

This is fantastic to read... this is quite reflective of my own view too. I believe the key for me has been " I took responsibility for everything that has happened in my life." At every level of my being.

Also - "I create my reality....100%"

That has been so freeing and simultaneously so sobering. Yes, I still sometimes play the blame game but it never lasts long because I know I am "responsibility for everything that has happen(s) in my life."

[Chester]

This is a great thread... I just found this -

Ernie Nemeth - here (http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?99011-When-did-the-light-go-on-for-you&p=1169876&viewfull=1#post1169876)

Documenting each milestone in the journey (so many so similar to my own except it was my Mom who I discovered lied and I was 5)...

and the poem - wow

and then this post (http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?99011-When-did-the-light-go-on-for-you&p=1170405&viewfull=1#post1170405) - and poem.

This is true self honesty/self reflection.

[starlight]

This thread is a great read!

My "light" turned on after awakening from a particular dream believe it or not. In this dream, I met our creator or "source" as some would call it. We were in a bright room standing next to a massive oak tree- the most beautiful tree I have EVER seen! I telepathically asked to know everything my curious mind has sought to have answers to. Immediately I was granted access. I remember feeling ecstatic and truly free from the shackles of this prison. I knew it all... everything I have ever wanted to know about creation itself. I believe this was the true beginning point of my awakening.

I awoke to remember every detail about my dream except the 'forbidden knowledge' part. This frustrated me to no end! My thirst for answers sky rocketed and I found Project Avalon that morning. Safe to say I have not been the same since :Party: