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Thread: Attacked By The Angels And Demons

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    United States Avalon Member skyefire777's Avatar
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    Default Re: Attacked By The Angels And Demons

    Quote Posted by Molly4US (here)
    Quote Posted by turiya (here)
    To suppress, repress, to avoid the negative will give them strength. Not understanding this basic fact, in essence, you have invited them to be there, you have created them to be there. They will come back with a vengence. They are the creation of one's own self.
    Near the end of my 17 year marriage, my husband (now ex-husband) became a very violent alcoholic with a double-life, and there was no emotional support or advice, for my children and I from family or friends. Though I was a very positive person, I found it hard to bear the resentment of others' abandoning us. I had brain injuries near the end of the marriage and could not figure out how to get help, how to do paperwork for a divorce.....I couldn't read, I couldn't add or subtract.....so I felt a lot of hurt and resentment since my children and I would have suffered less if people had paid attention and cared.

    The emotional pain got so great (I felt I was in a Black Hole which once inside had a magnetic tractor beam drawing me into oblivion). In my desperation, I sat at a Starbuck's with my computer googled on my computer for the name of a group I had been told about. I can't recall, but maybe I called the number on my cell-phone. The fact is, that at the moment I thought of it as my last hope, the meeting was going to start that very night in just 15 or so minutes in a neighboring town. I hopped onto the highway, and headed to that church that night where I had heard that there was an evening meeting. The meeting was called: Celebrate Recovery Hurts, Habits, and Hang-ups. I let them know that the pain and resentment had become too great and dark a burden for me to carry and that I didn't know how to get it out of me. The resentment put pain, anger, and trauma between my mother and I for a few years to where I could not even hug her, which was an ugly feeling which I didn't want to persist.....which was leading to further emptiness. The warmth and quiet invitingness of other's non-judgementalness at my time of need was very helpful....my only escape from the pain and darkness. Slowly I began working on baggage, letting it go bit by bit, as it was not something that could be buried.

    from turiya, "To repress them, to not accept, to prevent the bad parts from expressing themselves, will result in them gaining more power. To suppress, repress, to avoid the negative will give them strength." At the Celebrate Recovery Hurts, Habits, and Hang-ups weekly meetings I could express myself....they knew already how dark resentment felt and sounded, and had been there themselves....What wonderful healing it has been to sweep it out.

    I come here to Avalon Project to help me sweep out the fright and pain of being a Targeted Individual since I didn't want to disclose that at church, where there would probably be no one to understand.
    Totally get that. It's hard to be a person of faith and know that what is happening is real and involving spiritual wickednessl in high places. "They"e have been doing this to me since I was four years old. Things seemed to have calmed down and now have started up again. It's tiring and tiresome however, I have been helped more than hindered. I thought it was over for awhile but its a cyclic bad dream that I know some day I will fully understand these dimensions and what I have to do with any of it. Church is hard sometimes. Glad you posted because I have also been living in this duality for most of my life. Shalom
    Shalom

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    Molly4US (3rd November 2017)

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    Default Re: Attacked By The Angels And Demons

    Quote Posted by skyefire777 (here)
    I have also been living in this duality for most of my life. Shalom
    I am very sorry that this has been going on for you for so long. It is very hurtful and unpleasant. I am hoping that something very good will come of it such as a renewing of important treaties or something, but even so, here is a verse for both of us which my parents reminded me of often as a child and as an adult:
    Matthew 5:12
    "Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."
    Shalom

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