Sensate Immersion and the Empathic Core

[Mark]

I’ve experienced enough life, seen enough movies and read enough books to know that not everybody lives the same form of consciousness. That we are walking around, talking to and interacting with people who literally do not “feel” life in a similar manner.

I can only speak from my experience.

If I see someone get hurt, with my eyes, I feel, in my body, an actual, sympathetic resonance that is sometimes so intense it approximates pain and is located in the same location on my body as it is on the body of the person whose pain I am witnessing. It happens often when I see pain depicted in movies and on television as well.

In social situations, if people are feeling discomfort or if there is conflict that results in uncomfortable social situations, I feel, in my body, the same burning, intense feeling of shame or embarrassment. I literally have to intervene to alleviate the energetic imbalance in order to relieve my own sympathetic symptoms. I look away from such situations in movies and on television as the feeling is similarly acute.

If people are upset, I can see it in their faces and body language and often feel it as well.

When I see, hear and read something that is true, the old saying that something “rings” true is literally what happens to my body. I resonate, vibrate, “ring”, to the truth.

Do you? Experience life in this visceral, sensate manner?

Not everyone does. For some, life is what they see, hear, smell, touch and taste. And that is it. For many, they do experience empathy to a certain degree, although it may not be as intense as what I describe here. For others, it may be even more intense.

Even though it has been argued that any supposed sixth sense, that some might call intuition, is only a combination of the known five senses accompanied by an holistic, synesthetic component that encompasses all possible methods of sensory input, still, not everyone experiences it.

Which means that not everyone shares the same kind of understanding about the nature of the world as others. Not everyone is influenced by their feelings the same way and, often, those who are not deride those who are. And vice versa.

Again, it is an experience of consciousness whereby some are innately more sensitive than others. A scale of intensity. Some have such a capacity, others do not. It is not a question of better or worse, which are value judgements and therefore subjective, but of degree.

There are many who are not as sensitive who supplant their experience with keen observational skills. They do not feel the emotions of others but they can see them occurring and respond accordingly. Many who lack such empathy often have increased intelligence quotients, perhaps as an example of nature’s way of compensating for a lack of emotional depth.

It is also possible to experience a desensitization effect, purposeful or not, which often occurs as a response to emotionally and/or physically violent material conditions. What the Bible calls the “hardening of the heart”.

Feelings are important. We assume that we experience them similarly. And so are confounded when we interact with those who apparently do not. There are biological and neurological reasons for these differences that are well documented. And many books that speak about the trauma that can result from intimate relationships between people of asymmetrical emotional capacities.

All of human history is rife with examples.

Our lives are filled with them as well. Understanding the difference and incorporating strategies that allow you to navigate these differences while securing your own emotional and spiritual well-being is a mandatory skill set to cultivate in the life of all who seek to live consciously.

[Rich]

It's not really necessary to feel sorry for others, it doesn't help them.

[Wind]

Posted by EmEx (here)
It's not really necessary to feel sorry for others, it doesn't help them.

Indeed, but it does help if you can see things from their perspective. That's what empathy is being about.

[Valerie Villars]

I feel the pain of others right below my breast and it wells into my throat and then up to my eyes; especially for domesticated animals who live in situations that are less than ideal. They must feel very bewildered seeing humans warm, well fed, loved and wonder why they are cold or hungry or thirsty, looking to humans for help and not getting it. It's very distressing to me.

[Mike]

I think one has to be slightly insane to exist in this world in order to not go completely insane. it's akin to a homeopathic approach almost. a diluted insanity.

bend don't break. that sort of thing.

i think i'm naturally empathic. i've experienced and still experience many of the things Rahkty described so well above. but i've been forced to numb that nerve, so to speak, because existing in that space of extreme sensitivity would not allow me to function and survive in this 3d, matrix-y world without having a complete and total daily breakdown. see i was that guy who would lament a romantic break up for years. now ive whittled that down to a month or 2...so i'm getting better LOL

regulating one's sensitivity is an art form. i don't claim to have mastered it, but i'm getting better. if i didn't do it i'd be going to pieces every day.

i was watching this show yesterday called 'life below zero'. it's about people living and surviving in the arctic, and if you know anything about the arctic you know that one must kill animals to survive there. it's either them or you - a pretty simple equation. even the staunchest vegan can't argue that. anyway, after witnessing this little girl club a baby duck to near death before snapping its neck, i got sort of weepy. the tears just came. couldn't stop them. i felt this huge sadness. and that's good - it's all a part of regulating this sensitivity, knowing when to release and when to hold back a little etc.

what i really hate, and Rahkty touched on this, is *feeling* the embarrassment and humiliation of someone who has found themselves in a very awkward spot. oh thats the worst!

[Wind]

Posted by Mike (here)
I think one has to be slightly insane to exist in this world in order to not go completely insane.

Definitely I don't think of myself as a sane person, then again eccentric is the way I am.

As an empath I definitely can feel what others feel and quite literally in my body. I've used to think that it's more a curse than a gift, because the energy around me seems to go through my body and nerves and I react to it or I act as an conduit which transmutes the energy somehow... While affecting my sense of tranquility. These days I've learned to control it better too, but still I am being affected. The truth is that it can be a harsh and cruel world where emotionally sensitive people are easily broken. So somekind of a balance must be maintained in order not to go completely nuts.

Even when I see the so called "bad people" getting bad treatment, I do actually feel sorry for them. Someone would say that it's what they deserve, but in my heart I always have felt that truly no one deserves to be treated badly. I just get more touched if I see cruelty inflicted towards those who are in lesser positions to defend themselves and then comes anger, especially when it's about animals or children.

Injustice is always injustice, it should not and cannot be tolerated.

[Mike]

Hi Wind, nice post there. Really well said. I feel same.

(And I notice Jagman is here. Nice to see ya Jags!)

We could play with these terms 'sane' and 'insane' a little. Subjective terms really. Many mainstreamers would consider many of us in the 'alt' community to be insane for believing in things like aliens and so forth, but I think it's the other way around. When I say one has to be a little insane in this world to survive, I mean one has to "play the game" a little. And this often includes having to subdue sensitivities and emotion from time to time

This world always puts us in catch 22's. Ever notice that? And it's by design i'm sure. Joe Heller knew this (He wrote the absurdist classic 'catch 22', a true masterpiece). To constantly maintain the integrity of ones natural emotions and sensitivities in this backwards world might land one in a mental institution; but to blunt them some is sort of a denial of our essence. Catch 22.

The prudent approach to life on this mad dome, therefore, is to know when to indulge ones sensitivities and when to be a bit hardened. Just my opinion, of course . And easier said than done. It's the greatest personal challenge an empath will face here.

[Foxie Loxie]

Each person has his or her own distinctive personality which plays into everything. Then, we each live through our own set of life experiences which has a lot to do with how we eventually "deal" with whatever comes our way. One has to strike a balance in being able to "feel" for others & also being able to care for oneself. Where & how one draws the line is probably as different as is each individual!

[gaiagirl]

Great Post Rahkyt and interesting response EmEx...that is exactly what my ex-husband would have said...which is one of the main reasons he is my Ex....I'll swing around back to that because it is important...In response to your question Rahkyt (and btw it is wonderful to have you back here.....I have sorely missed you) anyway...I wanted to reply because this has defined who I am for a number of reasons...I would be interested to hear how it has affected others also.

One interesting thing I wanted to bring up that you touched upon and that somehow I remained completely unaware of throughout much of my life is that not all folks are wired like this...some not at all.

When I was very young I was not only empathic but had psychic tendencies that scared my parents to the point that they put the kabash on it in many of the ways that parents do that sort of thing (the psychic thing anyway).

In my teens being empathic wasn't such an issue probably because I partied a lot to quell the emotional impact of other peoples' well...emotions.

In my early 20's it was at times crippling: I would sit in a class room and be unable to shut out the feelings of those around me and they would all clang and clatter about within me to the point where I thought I would go mad! I even sought out therapy at one point just to find methods to get me through to graduation...the therapist indicated that I had a choice in being a receiver of these feelings of others and gave me some exercises that got me through (barely).

At this time I was living on the East coast of South Florida where many people I encountered were just downright uncomfortable with my presence... IMHO I think this was for two reasons: One, with the fact that I was so tuned in to what they were feeling and often they didn't even want to acknowledge their underlying emotions for a plethora of varied reasons I could only speculate on...denial is one of humans' strongest defense/survival mechanisms.

The other reason was that at the time, because I was tuned into all of the sadness and despair brought on by the unfair social and economic structure here in the states that I did TONS of volunteer work and wrote letters to various political folks imploring them to make this change or that or to vote this way or that for various pieces of legislation. It was almost all I did with my free time....I didn't have any like minded folks around me and I couldn't meet one to save my life.

Those people about my age that I did meet socially were not driven by such forces did not want to spend any time at all contemplating the injustices of this world... They couldn't understand why I would choose to expend my energy on such endeavors. In my mind there was no choice. If I didn't do what I did the guilt of living freely with what privileges I possessed as a white woman in the US while turning a blind eye would have eaten me alive. It's just who I was.

Eventually I met my husband and moved back to the North East where folks were a bit more like minded and it became much easier...however I still didn't truly understand that not all humans are created even close to equally....

Fast forward to after the divorce and I am now earning my masters to become a Physician Assistant (PA). I am just about to graduate and I am practicing doing intakes. An actual PA teaching assistant is observing.

After the fact when we were going over the questions I had pursued with the patient, one had been with regards to what the person was sensing empathically about something in their surroundings...I can't remember the exact context now...it was so long ago...anyway, the PA's response was: "don't you understand that not everyone is tuned in and functions in the world in the same way that you do? Some folks strictly think in terms of logic and no "feeling" is involved." ...well, it was at that moment at age 30 that I finally understood the world and my place in it (well maybe not completely, lol). I understood why certain folks seemed repelled by me, why things had not worked out so well with my husband in specific areas, and why I at times had felt cursed.

One of my exboyfriends from college had put it like this: "You just make people think about things they don't necessarily want to think about".

Shortly after this I became a drug addict when I tried heroin in an attempt to understand what many of the patients in the pain clinic I had been hired at were certainly going to have in their histories...I wasn't afraid because though I had tried many other substances I couldn't imagine there was anything I couldn't walk away from.

For the first time I was out of physical pain from the Lyme symptoms I had been suffering from for the past 18 years (misdiagnosed) AND...wait for it...I could tolerate the interference of the input from others' emotional states MUCH more easily. I also felt as though I could function in the medical world that I had learned was much more nefarious than I had ever imagined and still sleep at night.

Well, you can guess how this ended...I'll spare you the gory details...

I will never practice medicine and I will never be able to shut down my ability to feel what others do...fortunately I have learned a few things along the way like techniques for subduing the static of others' emotional states without sticking a needle in my arm.

I've learned to try to be more respectful of others' space and not provide unsolicited advice like I used to when I was younger. I have a great relationship with my son (18 now) probably because I know what he's feeling before he feels it. I know when to put on the brakes and not smother him...learning this took a while and A LOT of communication.

Most importantly and with a great therapist I've learned that one's own emotions, no matter how scary they seem, do not have the capacity to destroy you...confronting them will not only help you grow but will help you thrive. I am far more accepting of my own emotions and more comfortable in my own skin and as a result being tuned in to others has become more of a positive experience.

Now in my late 40's, I have found folks that can tolerate me and whose company I enjoy and friendships I cherish. I have a decent job...my life is far from perfect but I no longer suffer from the paralysis and insanity that being acutely tuned in to others used to bring. Now if I could just get rid of those pesky student loans...

I am sure there are others who with some guidance and direction were able to channel their gifts in a more positive direction at an earlier stage in life...either way I would love to hear where others are at with this...thanks for asking this question and thank you PA for giving me the space to share.

[enfoldedblue]

H Mark,

I work with HSPs and Empaths and having the ability to feel more than what is typical is a real double edged sword...especially in a world where it is barely acknowledged so there are not a lot of tools or information that people xan easily access. A lot of people feel different but keep quiet about it in order to attempt to fit in with the majority. This often leads to increased sense of isolation.

Coincidently I just created a video especially for sensitives and empaths on energy field management. I posted it yesterday in the spirituality section.

Thanks for sharing,

Christy

[Valerie Villars]

Gai, what a beautiful and honest post. I could especially relate to the part where you were told you think too much. I, too, was told the same thing. It used to baffle me because at the time I thought everyone wanted the truth and we were all on the same page, as humans. Staring it in the face and thinking about why we are here and what for was THE essential quest of life; for me anyway.

I didn't realize how naive I was in that regard, until age 50. Most want to live in denial. I am quite comfortable confronting the harsher realities. It is a natural state for me. Caveat. Be careful what you wish for because when the veil parted the battle was brutal.

I do believe my son (who died of an accidental overdose at 19) was so empathetic, he was trying to self medicate. It killed him.

It seems this world is for very brave people or very stupid ones. I would rather be brave.

[Mark]

Posted by Wind (here)

Posted by EmEx (here)
It's not really necessary to feel sorry for others, it doesn't help them.

Indeed, but it does help if you can see things from their perspective. That's what empathy is being about.

You have missed my point EmEx. It is not "feeling sorry" it is "feeling". Literally taking on the emotional or physical state of another individual. That is what an Empath is. it is not a choice or a condescension.

Thank you for the further clarification Wind.

¤=[Post Update]=¤

Posted by Villival (here)
I feel the pain of others right below my breast and it wells into my throat and then up to my eyes; especially for domesticated animals who live in situations that are less than ideal. They must feel very bewildered seeing humans warm, well fed, loved and wonder why they are cold or hungry or thirsty, looking to humans for help and not getting it. It's very distressing to me.

Yes, that is a great example thank you for sharing it, the empathic nature of some humans does extend further afield to include animals. I wonder, do you feel such empathy for plants as well?

[Mark]

Posted by Mike (here)
I think one has to be slightly insane to exist in this world in order to not go completely insane. it's akin to a homeopathic approach almost. a diluted insanity.

Yes indeed. That famous quote about being sane in an insane world is on point. Just to survive and appear normative requires quite the mental and psychic break with innate or underlying reality.

Posted by Mike (here)
i think i'm naturally empathic. i've experienced and still experience many of the things Rahkty described so well above. but i've been forced to numb that nerve, so to speak, because existing in that space of extreme sensitivity would not allow me to function and survive in this 3d, matrix-y world without having a complete and total daily breakdown. see i was that guy who would lament a romantic break up for years. now ive whittled that down to a month or 2...so i'm getting better LOL

I see this survival instinct and mechanism as an example of that biblical "hardening of the heart". Our society is so psychopathic that, in order to navigate life one has to make such adjustments to traverse the day or else open one's self fully to the heart of compassion, which seems so hard to do. Or rather, seems so dangerous to do, because by doing so, one is no longer normative. One becomes an outlier on that Empathic side of the equation, which means that they are no longer functioning in the day to day in a way that would allow them to succeed in our society.

Posted by Mike (here)
i was watching this show yesterday called 'life below zero'. it's about people living and surviving in the arctic, and if you know anything about the arctic you know that one must kill animals to survive there. it's either them or you - a pretty simple equation. even the staunchest vegan can't argue that. anyway, after witnessing this little girl club a baby duck to near death before snapping its neck, i got sort of weepy. the tears just came. couldn't stop them. i felt this huge sadness. and that's good - it's all a part of regulating this sensitivity, knowing when to release and when to hold back a little etc.

Yeh...thats the kind of thing I'm talking about. Let the tears flow, bredren, when they must, eh? To totally go the route of emotional shutdown does not seem to be the way to go for folks who seek a balanced life and world.

Posted by Wind (here)
As an empath I definitely can feel what others feel and quite literally in my body. I've used to think that it's more a curse than a gift, because the energy around me seems to go through my body and nerves and I react to it or I act as an conduit which transmutes the energy somehow... While affecting my sense of tranquility. These days I've learned to control it better too, but still I am being affected. The truth is that it can be a harsh and cruel world where emotionally sensitive people are easily broken. So somekind of a balance must be maintained in order not to go completely nuts.

That is exactly the challenge of the Empath. My understanding of it is simple. There is a scale, on one side there are psychopaths and on the other, empaths. And in between are all possible permutations of both, with a place directly in between the two poles where there is balance. So people exist one either side of that balance, more or less psychopathic, more or less empathic. But choice exists above and beyond all and people on all sides of the equation make their choices which move them upon the scale in either direction.

Posted by Wind (here)
Even when I see the so called "bad people" getting bad treatment, I do actually feel sorry for them. Someone would say that it's what they deserve, but in my heart I always have felt that truly no one deserves to be treated badly. I just get more touched if I see cruelty inflicted towards those who are in lesser positions to defend themselves and then comes anger, especially when it's about animals or children.

Injustice is always injustice, it should not and cannot be tolerated.

How is injustice defined? As someone who has spent their life looking at injustice, railing against it, seeking the application of justice in lived situations, I find it harder to commit to such ideals at the practical level without coming up against my understanding that material, physical incarnation is quite the relative affair. That truth does have gray scales and that perspective and situation within the timestream as well as space is a consideration as well. In this aspect of my understanding, there is a recognition of the polar realities and the simplicity of labeling events and people as "good" or "evil", but it is often much more complicated than that for many, even while such extreme examples of people and events do indeed exist alongside the more problematic considerations of orientation.

Posted by Mike (here)
We could play with these terms 'sane' and 'insane' a little. Subjective terms really. Many mainstreamers would consider many of us in the 'alt' community to be insane for believing in things like aliens and so forth, but I think it's the other way around. When I say one has to be a little insane in this world to survive, I mean one has to "play the game" a little. And this often includes having to subdue sensitivities and emotion from time to time

They do indeed see us as insane. I've spent the last couple of years exploring the idea of introducing mainstream populations to AltCom potentialities and it is a hard row to hoe even today in a time that so many believe is indicative of some sort of mass awakening. I, personally, am not so certain.

Posted by Wind (here)
The prudent approach to life on this mad dome, therefore, is to know when to indulge ones sensitivities and when to be a bit hardened. Just my opinion, of course . And easier said than done. It's the greatest personal challenge an empath will face here.

Hear, hear.

[Mark]

Posted by Foxie Loxie (here)
Each person has his or her own distinctive personality which plays into everything. Then, we each live through our own set of life experiences which has a lot to do with how we eventually "deal" with whatever comes our way. One has to strike a balance in being able to "feel" for others & also being able to care for oneself. Where & how one draws the line is probably as different as is each individual!

I'm certain your life experience has made you an expert on this topic.

It is as individual as each one of us, no two remedies or solutions are the same, although some may be similar and generalities can be assayed. All potentialities must be manifest, which means that all types of humans must exist, on both sides of the spectrum for without this interplay we would not have the world we have now, nor would we be able to reconcile the polarities through the choice matrix of individuated existence. I'm certain such realities exist, where the material reality does not express the same initial conditions that we have here in our universe, but that is not really our issue Here and Now. Here and Now, life takes pain, death and suffering to manifest change and evolution. Such is the state of our slate.

[Rich]

Posted by Rahkyt (here)
You have missed my point EmEx. It is not "feeling sorry" it is "feeling". Literally taking on the emotional or physical state of another individual. That is what an Empath is. it is not a choice or a condescension.

I understand Rahykt, it helps to look at it logically though.
I used to think like this, but then I thought about it and realized it is not needed and not helpful.

[Valerie Villars]

Thanks Rahkyt. Great thread.

[Smell the Roses]

This type of empathy is one of the main reasons I really didn't do well teaching in the public schools. The principal just expects the class to be orderly above all else. I would get too caught up in why students were behaving in different ways and related to them too much. I also would sometimes laugh at some of the silly things they were doing, instead of scolding them like I was supposed to. Now I teach students online. I find I can better focus on the subject matter, but I do miss being able to interact with them face-to-face. I think it is very difficult to function in society when your empathy is strong. I admire anyone who has mastered this.

[Mark]

Posted by Wind (here)
Injustice is always injustice, it should not and cannot be tolerated.

I understand that perspective viscerally. From the perspective of the ones experiencing or witnessing that injustice, it can be especially traumatizing. But then I'm put in the position of justifying my empathic experience and positioning my subjective feelings within the greater, objective stream of occurrences. For instance, if I am watching a video where a mountain lion chases down a fawn and rends it from hoof to cute little deer nose, experiencing the feeling of claws on my skin and the internal roiling of evisceration has no relation to whether or not it was wrong for that hungry creature to enjoy her natural prey in the way nature intended.

Considering this perspective in the human context can be disturbing. The psychopaths have a natural prey. Us.

What is justice, from this vantage? Injustice? From the multiversal perspective, what are the plans of the Greys and Reptilians, how do their genetic experiments fit and is there a viable ethical template that can be employing in interpreting their actions or is the Greater Good so inscrutable from this level of engagement and interaction that our subjective feelings on them have little to do with the actual, transcendent and implicit meaning in all that occurs?

Even the things that hurt us and the ones we love? Wherever we may be on that spectrum of understanding?

[Mark]

Posted by Foxie Loxie (here)
One has to strike a balance in being able to "feel" for others & also being able to care for oneself. Where & how one draws the line is probably as different as is each individual!

I would agree with your contention, Foxie! If we all responded the same way to the same stimuli there would be absolutely no reason for incarnation to be as infinitely diverse as it apparently is. No matter our experience, there is a reason for it, a way it interlocks with others experiences, creating a seamless tapestry that contributes to some greater, inscrutable meaning beyond our ken. There is good reason to believe that we should each attempt to be as individualistic as possible in this conception of reality, just so Creation can get the most out of its investment in our individuated manifestation!

[Mark]

Posted by gaiagirl (here)
(and btw it is wonderful to have you back here.....I have sorely missed you)

I feel very comfortable with my decision to return. Thanks for noticing and maintaining such a warm and positive energetic presence!

Posted by gaiagirl (here)
One interesting thing I wanted to bring up that you touched upon and that somehow I remained completely unaware of throughout much of my life is that not all folks are wired like this...some not at all.

So very, very true. And this is such an important - perhaps THE most important - thing for all Empaths to recognize.

Posted by gaiagirl (here)
When I was very young I was not only empathic but had psychic tendencies that scared my parents to the point that they put the kabash on it in many of the ways that parents do that sort of thing (the psychic thing anyway).

In my teens being empathic wasn't such an issue probably because I partied a lot to quell the emotional impact of other peoples' well...emotions.

In my early 20's it was at times crippling: I would sit in a class room and be unable to shut out the feelings of those around me and they would all clang and clatter about within me to the point where I thought I would go mad! I even sought out therapy at one point just to find methods to get me through to graduation...the therapist indicated that I had a choice in being a receiver of these feelings of others and gave me some exercises that got me through (barely).

I think a lot of Empaths can tell the same story, differentiated only by the details and the context. There are no mechanisms in our society for people of this extreme level of sensitivity to even recognize their existence as part of a larger group that plays a necessary role in the evolution and maintenance of all communities. In more traditional and indigenous communities that have evolved over thousands of years in tight-knit and cohesive clans that have codified both the formal and the informal aspects of community, there are such mechanisms in place, which is why such gatherings have had lesser instances of mental illness as we would define it. Those whom we might have called crazy, to them, where and are touched by the goddesses and gods and served a purpose and role in community. Also, of course, societies evolve differently and our western societies have evolved in a very specific way and context that has normalized some very anti-life behaviors that we use to cope with the daily grind. It is what it is and we are who we are for whatever greater reason.

Posted by gaiagirl (here)
At this time I was living on the East coast of South Florida where many people I encountered were just downright uncomfortable with my presence... IMHO I think this was for two reasons: One, with the fact that I was so tuned in to what they were feeling and often they didn't even want to acknowledge their underlying emotions for a plethora of varied reasons I could only speculate on...denial is one of humans' strongest defense/survival mechanisms.

The other reason was that at the time, because I was tuned into all of the sadness and despair brought on by the unfair social and economic structure here in the states that I did TONS of volunteer work and wrote letters to various political folks imploring them to make this change or that or to vote this way or that for various pieces of legislation. It was almost all I did with my free time....I didn't have any like minded folks around me and I couldn't meet one to save my life.

You are absolutely right. I know that feeling exactly. People wanting to get away from you, to the point where they'll even do what they have to in order to make you socially unpalatable to their in-group to make you other. Of course, within group dynamics, a good proportion of those who are also in-group are to some extent empathic, but then it becomes about the relationships and social capital held by each member and, often, the truly, deeply empathic are the scapegoats, the sacrificial lambs. There is probably a social and a spiritual aspect to that, that is very ancient and connected to the energetic output of empaths. I quite imagine that the gods and goddesses prefer to consume the energies of an Empath to those of a Psychopath.

Kudos to you for being so involved and for finding one of the channels that Empaths can and do use in order to direct their energy toward the greater good of the society. As to the efficacy of such tools, we have our current global and local situations to look to as examplars of the distance and depth of depravity and dysfunction that our nations' populations have internalized and now project globally. It comes back again to energetic output and what agendas that energy ends up serving, either with our partial and incomplete knowledge or, more often, without it. It seems that time in your life had meaning and was for a reason, yes? Our "time in the wilderness" often is.

Posted by gaiagirl (here)
Those people about my age that I did meet socially were not driven by such forces did not want to spend any time at all contemplating the injustices of this world... They couldn't understand why I would choose to expend my energy on such endeavors. In my mind there was no choice. If I didn't do what I did the guilt of living freely with what privileges I possessed as a white woman in the US while turning a blind eye would have eaten me alive. It's just who I was.

It is people like you that I continue this work for. That I seek to build relationships with and co-create more inclusive and diverse communities with because that is the future, despite what some have always thought and their descends continue to think. The sheer incomprehensibility, to an Empath, of this way of thinking and being is what continues to make us prey to those who would consume our energy and use it to further their dastardly and hellish plans.

Posted by gaiagirl (here)
Eventually I met my husband and moved back to the North East where folks were a bit more like minded and it became much easier...however I still didn't truly understand that not all humans are created even close to equally....

I like to say we are energetically equivalent spiritual beings blessed with unequal dispensations of ability, outcomes and opportunities. All for the purpose of completing our human journeys according to our original reasons for taking the trip in the first place!

Posted by gaiagirl (here)
Fast forward to after the divorce and I am now earning my masters to become a Physician Assistant (PA). I am just about to graduate and I am practicing doing intakes. An actual PA teaching assistant is observing.

Congratulations!

Posted by gaiagirl (here)
After the fact when we were going over the questions I had pursued with the patient, one had been with regards to what the person was sensing empathically about something in their surroundings...I can't remember the exact context now...it was so long ago...anyway, the PA's response was: "don't you understand that not everyone is tuned in and functions in the world in the same way that you do? Some folks strictly think in terms of logic and no "feeling" is involved." ...well, it was at that moment at age 30 that I finally understood the world and my place in it (well maybe not completely, lol). I understood why certain folks seemed repelled by me, why things had not worked out so well with my husband in specific areas, and why I at times had felt cursed.

One of my exboyfriends from college had put it like this: "You just make people think about things they don't necessarily want to think about".

Shortly after this I became a drug addict when I tried heroin in an attempt to understand what many of the patients in the pain clinic I had been hired at were certainly going to have in their histories...I wasn't afraid because though I had tried many other substances I couldn't imagine there was anything I couldn't walk away from.

For the first time I was out of physical pain from the Lyme symptoms I had been suffering from for the past 18 years (misdiagnosed) AND...wait for it...I could tolerate the interference of the input from others' emotional states MUCH more easily. I also felt as though I could function in the medical world that I had learned was much more nefarious than I had ever imagined and still sleep at night.

Well, you can guess how this ended...I'll spare you the gory details...

I took a journey with heroin many, many years ago as well, so I can imagine the "gory details". They call it the artist's drug for a reason. That would apply to all sensitives and creatives, what it does is so "useful" for our particular temperament and psychic experience of the world.

I think your epiphany is one that all who are Empaths SHOULD come to at some point in their lives, but I am not certain that all empaths DO come to that moment of awakening and understanding why their pain is so constant, why their rejection by others is so hurtful and why still others seem drawn to them continuously in their need to abuse and consume their energies. The lie that "we are all the same" in our experience of the world is one that serves interests not ours. A humanistic philosophy that leaves the population of Empaths defenseless and fodder for the Psychopaths who consume them relentlessly throughout their lives, or use their collective energy to power their machinations time and time again. It is one of the primary engines used for world-building, and by "world" I mean illusion. The construct we all cohabitate and cocreate, contributing to its pervasivity and depravity nigh unconsciously.

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=CPNaaogT8fs

Posted by gaiagirl (here)
I've learned to try to be more respectful of others' space and not provide unsolicited advice like I used to when I was younger. I have a great relationship with my son (18 now) probably because I know what he's feeling before he feels it. I know when to put on the brakes and not smother him...learning this took a while and A LOT of communication.

Most importantly and with a great therapist I've learned that one's own emotions, no matter how scary they seem, do not have the capacity to destroy you...confronting them will not only help you grow but will help you thrive. I am far more accepting of my own emotions and more comfortable in my own skin and as a result being tuned in to others has become more of a positive experience.

Now in my late 40's, I have found folks that can tolerate me and whose company I enjoy and friendships I cherish. I have a decent job...my life is far from perfect but I no longer suffer from the paralysis and insanity that being acutely tuned in to others used to bring. Now if I could just get rid of those pesky student loans...

I am sure there are others who with some guidance and direction were able to channel their gifts in a more positive direction at an earlier stage in life...either way I would love to hear where others are at with this...thanks for asking this question and thank you PA for giving me the space to share.

So beautiful. So real. THANK YOU SO MUCH for sharing your journey, I am quite certain that your words have helped many who have read them and they, in turn, will help others. I also would love to hear where others are at with this experience and how their empathic journeys have shown them their place in life! So many disparate mechanisms in place to capture and control this emotional energy, but in the end, it is freed. Energy can be neither created nor destroyed, someone famous once said, only transformed. In a similar fashion, I know that the energetic pendulum swings ever in this world and beyond and just as there has been a time when those of the material, sensate world of the intellect and the rational imperative succeed and reign, so must there also be a time when they do not. Many believe that pendulum is swinging now and we are on the way to seeing this seismic shift in orientation and energy distribution. While I am no aligned with most of the channeled drivel and dross being peddled out there today about mass awakenings and collective birthings of new humanities, I think the idea holds true at its base. And, the solar system is continuously traveling through our galaxy, we are continuously entering regions of space this planet has not visited in millions of years as we continue an eternal cycle spiraling higher each time as we co-manifest the world in ever-increasing harmonies of polar resonance and frequency oscillation. Energies are important and where we currently are may have a lot to do with what the world is experiencing and we are collectively co-creating.

Good times, right?