Cancer killing/Killing Cancer ~ My Heart Path

[Shadowself]

Posted by David Ansible (here)
I am a lurker, and do not comment very often. I remember seeing this thread awhile back.

I was just diagnosed with lymphoma after finding a lump in my neck. Next comes the dreaded
Pet scan and, apparently almost certainly, chemo and radiation. For a year (or more?)
I had been having periodic night sweats. Energy and "perceived health" is fine and I feel generally
well, (for example I go to the gym regularly), though I am noticing a slightly "sore" throat at the moment.

I am going to read through this whole thread and research as much as possible. For the past year I have
been doing intermittent fasting, often 1 meal a day - though with occasional sugar binges.
I had already decided recently that these binges would cease. I also fasted 5 days in January. I also went
vegan starting in January.

I think my main course of action is going to be fasting plus reducing my carbs/sugars to as low as possible (ketosis),
though I will also try other things in combination such as baking soda (why not), mushrooms, and so on. The diet
will include lots of avocado, coconut oil, olive oil, nuts and seeds.

I have to admit, the thought of chemo and radiation scares me almost as much as the cancer. It's interesting in a
way that the first thing likely to make me actually feel sick will be those damn treatments. It would be great if I
could somehow avoid them. But of course what the doctor is likely to say is "you better undergo these treatments or
else...." My fear is not about the chemo/radiation making me temporarily sick, but rather the fear of "never being quite the same"
afterwards. I understand of course that the possibility of lingering effects is considered a tradeoff for combating the disease,
but still, it is a tough thing.

Anyway, my heart goes out to Shadowself and others embroiled in this and other serious diseases.

HI David,

When you read this just remember this is my path as the title of the thread states. This is the path I have chosen. I've also chosen some very holistic remedies I can't really speak of here but trust me I'm looking everywhere for a cure to my cancer type which may as well be termed terminal. I'm on heavy doses of vitamins as well...some of them up to 50,000 units. I'm also being pumped with plenty of fluids and believe it or not...no matter what path you may choose...you might have a hard time doing something as simple as drinking water.

lymphoma is quite treatable however. Depending on the stage it can be over in a year. If it's metastasized (spread to your other organs) it can be a rough road. So whatever you choose I do hope this thread will help as it's by far not just about the chemo which my doctor wants to take me off of...I just have about another month to see it through.

My residual effects wear off at the end of the two week period and I can actually taste food again, and feel somewhat normal except that pain from the cancer which is far too much to handle and worse than the chemo...and I have to keep on top of that. I finally gave in yesterday in fact for a stronger pain medication as I'm starting to get severe headaches that the other pain medication is not covering.

I want to tell you that if you do decided to do the chamo I know lots of people who are on it with various kinds of cancer and it does work quite well for their cancer. I also want to tell you that if you do decide to get it...it will scare the hell out of you to begin with. It did me.

You may also have to reduce the chemo if you decide to get it as I did because the two different kinds I got were too much for me and they did reduce it and I am tolerating it. Do not mistake tolerating for it being okay. It's no joy ride for sure.

I will hold you in my thoughts David...Hope is what I cling to even on the hardest days and there are many of them.

I also want to say...I was a very healthy person before this happened...I was 64 and running circles around people half my age...then all of a sudden it hit...and when it did it hit hard and my life will never be the same.

Just remember...lymphoma is quite treatable and hope is not that far away.

Blessings!

[Shadowself]

I want to share a funny story about the day I had my last CAT Scan:

It was a slow day at radiology. Just me and one other fellow. We were both there for a CAT scan. When you get a CAT scan they give you a drink (usually flavored) of a Barium mixture. Then you wait an hour to go into the CAT scan where they do a first scan then through an IV they give you another contrast for your blood vessels and internal organs....where they proceed to do a second scan.

So while the other guy and I are sitting in the waiting room in walks this tough guy. He had the whole attitude going on. His trousers hanging below his butt, tattoos on one side of his face and hat cocked to one side. As he swaggered into the waiting room he sat down and filled out his paper work then the radiologist came out and proceeded to hand him his barium mixture.

The guy freaked out! He was not down to drinking anything and started to make a scene and walk out. The radiologist stopped him and told him you can't do a CAT scan without it. So right there in the waiting room this guy started to pace with that distinct swagger of a tough guy thug and called his doctor and the doctor I suspect confirmed to him that indeed he needed to drink the barium.

So the guy calmed down his swagger a bit and finally sat down then shook his head in agreement as in yes he'd in fact drink the barium.

When I got called in I started to laugh uncontrollably and then finally was able to tell the radiologist ....You're gonna have a good time with the next guy...when he finds out about the IV and what it does...you're going to have to tie him down!

Seriously though...I'm sure the guy had a fit when he figured that part out. Tough guy indeed! LOL

The IV is this particular IV is a contrast and it is really weird...it makes you feel a warm almost hot rust moving through your body that ends up in your genitals that seriously make you feel like you're gonna pee your pants. Given that alone I kept laughing throughout the day picturing this guy stuck in a huge ring on a platform completely under the control of the radiologist.

Okay that's the humor for the day...next one...I'm going to get serious.

[Shadowself]

When I first started this thread on the 7th of January, I had gotten some very bad news. News I did not want to share. So as not to freak people out and it would have to some degree. I shared the seriousness of this as I had a heart attack. Mind you there is absolutely nothing wrong with my heart...it's strong as ever. I had a blocked artery that usually ends up killing most people. That is why they call that artery the widowmaker. I was strong enough to make it to the hospital and I lived...that it the bottom line. I also have two other arteries that are partially blocked and they are watching them. I have nitroglycerin at all times in case that happens...this is of course how they found the cancer.

Apparently the message I'm getting today tells me I need to say something here.

I'm not pushing chemo on anybody. Nor am I recommending "standard of care"

I'm also going to tell you chemo saved my life. What I did not convey in the first post is that after my heart attack on Dec the 6th the following month on the 7th of January I was about a week away from getting a tube stuck down my airway to administer oxygen. That stuff you kinda need to breath. That tumor was growing rapidly...and I needed the chemo to shrink it rapidly and it did. If anybody tells you a diet and exercise will fix that they are kidding themselves....and I wanted to live. I hadn't even seen my newest grandson yet in person!

I was extremely lucky the chemo shrank that tumor the size of a tennis ball wrapped around my pulmonary artery from 8CM to 5 CM...enough to allow me to breathe again without laboring like I was on the 7th.

I've also gotten some pretty good results which I've attributed to the Turkey Tail mushrooms and another source along with massive amounts of vitamins which I desperately need. I've discussed that with another member in one of the last two posts.

I'm not here to push anything on anybody...I'm just sharing my experience with it. Because the worst thing that might happen to you is getting shamed for doing it...the chemo that is...and I'm here to also tell you that there are many kinds of cancers that are not only treatable but curable. Some of them are quite curable on holistic methods as well. Which I again am seeking. I just don't have the luxury of time on my side to not go the route I am. This is completely my choice. Cancer does not have to be a death sentence. I just happen to have one of those kinds of cancer that is the worst...and completely inoperable.

In the recent months I've joined a lung cancer support group on facebook where people from all over the world are sharing their experiences...some of them really bad...some of them very hopeful. I learned of a person who beat the two year mark for SCLC taking Opdivo the immunotherapy drug and is now at 3 years...and doing strong. That is a remarkable statistic for SCLC. That is what I will be doing in about a month...I'm very hopeful and as long as I stay stable I'll probably do fine...I'm also looking to beat the odds and perhaps this is a pipe dream...but maybe cure it. Never give up hope! NO matter how down you get either as I have been there many times and simply broke down.

This group I joined has many horror stories and some damned good ones. Not all doctors are good and if you feel any apprehension...get a second or third opinion if necessary.

Should I mention the pain?

I tried weed...it didn't even touch it for me. Not all cancers have extreme pain associated with it. Mine does. I just upped my pain meds so I could get out of bed the pain was so severe. If you've ever had a migraine headache...imagine that 5 times worse. They give you a pain chart that is a joke.....it goes from 1 to 10. I looked at the nurse one day and said they need to make a new pain chart! I have pain in my back...my lungs which radiates my whole chest. I have pain in my liver which have so many tumors they can't count them. I need pain medication...and a strong one too. Pain causes stress...and that is the last thing I need to battle this disease.

Some people can go back to work while they are sick with cancer. Some can't.

There are some people resigned to just letting it happen and letting go. I have too much to live for. I know plenty about death and I'm well aware of the afterlife and expect my son and his father to join me when I go.

I've lived a full life too.

I've been healthy and still in many ways am still strong. This thread was simply to document my experience and share important information like recognizing pain in the jaw for women when you have a heart attack or perhaps need to apply for Social Security Disability and may be in need of Medicare.

Well I've done that...and now I'm done.

I want to strongly say again whatever you choose is up to you. Just because I've chosen my method of treatment please don't think I'm selling this to you. This is my choice. This will be my last post on this thread. I'm sorry if I've upset any of you in any way. This was not my intention. So I'm stopping it now.

Blessing to those that gave me support....words cannot express my gratitude.

[Baby Steps]

Just want to say thanks-it is very uplifting!

Also great to hear that you are combining some alternatives and loading the odds alot in the process - and great that after chemo, there is the potential to rebuild and empower the immune system with a combination of immunotherapy & mushrooms etc. That is SO great to hear!

If you do continue - that would be good, because you are taking control, and it would be nice to hear about how that goes
Thanks again.

[Shadowself]

Posted by Baby Steps (here)
Just want to say thanks-it is very uplifting!

Also great to hear that you are combining some alternatives and loading the odds alot in the process - and great that after chemo, there is the potential to rebuild and empower the immune system with a combination of immunotherapy & mushrooms etc. That is SO great to hear!

If you do continue - that would be good, because you are taking control, and it would be nice to hear about how that goes
Thanks again.

Much appreciated...but I'm really done here...thank you Baby Steps.

[Foxie Loxie]

Thank you for ALL you have shared with us!! You had me laughing with the "tough guy" story!!

You are a very brave & amazing woman....we have been blessed by your presence among us & you will always be remembered in our hearts! I applaud you in being "in control" of your own situation!

flower:

[Innocent Warrior]

Whatever you feel is best for you, Shadowself, but I do hope you continue to share your journey if you found it helpful for you because I really don’t think anyone here thinks you’re trying to push anything.

But if that’s it then thank you for sharing. I admire your attitude in the face of all that you’re going through, keep up the hope.

I watched a movie titled, “The Guitar”, it was inspired by a true story. It’s a bit tedious in places but it’s a magical story. The true story is quite different and even cooler. I read the story secondhand, so I’m not sure how accurate this is but it’s about a man who had terminal cancer. He moved to Canada and changed everything else in his life with the hope that the tumor would no longer recognise and fit the host and it worked, it cured his cancer.

A trailer for The Guitar

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=Jhm2LsnJz8I

Full movie (free): The Guitar

[ThePythonicCow]

Posted by Shadowself (here)
I want to strongly say again whatever you choose is up to you. Just because I've chosen my method of treatment please don't think I'm selling this to you. This is my choice.

Yes - absolutely - your choice.

I have been closely involved with and assisting with the medical choices of my father, my mother, my sister, and my son. Each has chosen as they would and I have assisted, sometimes substantially, with those choices. None chose as I would choose now. Even I, a few decades ago, would have chosen quite differently.

I wrote my strongly worded post not as a comment on your choices, Shadowself, but as a way of planting a seed, for those who might come after us. I trusted that you were strong in your ways.

I was endeavoring to plant the seed of will power, awareness of an alternative.

Thank-you, thank-you for this thread.

Posted by Shadowself (here)
This will be my last post on this thread. I'm sorry if I've upset any of you in any way. This was not my intention. So I'm stopping it now.

Being a geek of relatively modest empathy, it did not occur to me that my post might discourage you from continuing to post.

I hope you continue to post, however you choose to post.

[Valerie Villars]

I wish you wouldn't quit posting Shadow. I learned quite a bit about insurance and Medicare from your post. I admire your spirit.

[Lettherebelight]

Dearest Shadowself,

Thankyou for all that you have shared here. I have learned much from your experiences and wisdom.

I wish you all the very best with very much love.

I hope and pray to meet you again on another thread one day.

Hare Krsna!😀 ❤️ 🙏🏻

[ThePythonicCow]

Posted by Paul (here)
I wrote my strongly worded post ...

Upon rereading what I wrote, I recall now that I was then, as I wrote it, and that I have been for some time, and that I continue to be ... pissed at the industrial strength toxins added to our food, water, and air, our vaccines and medicines, our tobacco, our clothing, carpets, and particle boards, our plants, animals and earth, etc, etc, which are crippling the health of people with cancer, diabetes, Alzheimer's, cardio-vascular-heart disease, autism and other diseases.

That may account for the upset that Shadowself sensed in my post.

[raregem]

Shadowself- Thank you. You're beautiful!

[Chanie]

Thank you for sharing so much of your journey with us, Shadowself.

I’ve lost two friends to lymphoma. Both chose to go the chemo route. One lived a year after her diagnosis; the other bought herself fourteen more years. In the case of the latter, the lymphoma couldn’t be cured, but it could be managed. Every time it flared up, she’d do another round of chemo. It was the equivalent of beating it back with a big stick. In between, she was able to live a relatively normal life so I absolutely get your wanting to buy yourself more time. I really do.

I learned so much from that second friend because she talked openly about dying and in doing so, she taught me how to live. The same could be said of you. Please know that I will always carry those lessons in my heart.

[Joe from the Carolinas]

All the best Shadowself. Sending you positive energy, reason, logic, and common sense!

[Bill Ryan]

Moderator note from Bill:

Folks, I've moved three posts that were made here by David Ansible to start his own new thread, which I think is important.

• I was just diagnosed with lymphoma after finding a lump in my neck

Those posts, and (separately) Shadowself/Brook's very personal thread right here, are both primarily about supporting the two members who've been kind and brave enough to share their very difficult experiences with us.

They're not primarily for discussing treatment protocols in abstract, there being many other existing Avalon threads for that. Avalon has a valuable function in offering information and discussion about health and wellness (besides many other things!), but equally important is the commitment to support our members personally when they find themselves facing challenging times.

[Shadowself]

Good Morning,

First things first: Paul..no worries...I understanding losing family. Believe me when I say this. In your situation I fully understand.

I would like to say that when I saw that post I was smack in the middle of a three day chemo run. At the time I read it I literally had in my chest a needle with a tube and gauze covered on my chest so they don't have to stick me three times in a row. I just go home with it in me. I have a port surgically put into my chest so as to save my vanes from infection or collapse from the chemo. Of course they take the needle out on the third day. The port stays in.

On the second day this is how it went: My feet were swelling from the first day on Wednesday...So here is what I recorded.

Well due to the swelling in my feet which was pretty severe the staff at the hospital was ready to take me to the emergency room as even though I was taking my pain meds I was also having severe pain in my chest on the right side...where most of the tumors is my lungs are. I asked them for a pillow to put under my right shoulder and arm to help relieve the pain and it helped.

They decided to start the chemo with some added medicine for the swelling and boy did it knock me out. I slept through the whole thing and they woke me up then put me in a wheelchair to meet with my ride down stairs. The whole ride home I was seeing cross eyed and came home and slept. I didn't wake up until 9 AM the next morning.

Well I must say that's never happened before. The swelling in my feet has gone down. I just feel groggy. I don't know why they wanted to send me to the emergency room except perhaps they thought I might be having some heart problems give the pain in my chest. I told them it was not heart pain..but pain from the lung area. My right lung is seriously covered in tumors of various sizes.

On Friday they wheeled me into the infusion center upstairs again as I was still weak...but I was determined to walk out which I did. The swelling in my feet went down about half and I'm better today than yesterday.

One of the reasons I want to stop for now is I can't gloss this over with my strength of will anymore. While the will is there I'm also very sick. Nobody should have to hear what I just wrote. But this is the reality I'm living right now.

Next week I should be tired mostly...then the second week the same sleepy tired but getting better and can actually eat food without forcing it. Which kind of makes me laugh...when I think of people saying they are going to use food to get better alone. Trust me with or without chemo the food is going to taste like crap! Well for my kind of cancer anyhow....

Cancer is one of those things that no matter if you're under doctors care or not makes you lose your taste for food. I had lost my taste for food long before I knew I had it...I just didn't realize it was cancer doing it. For some reason everything tastes different. Which is why many people start losing weight before even being diagnosed....Like me for example...I lost ten pounds in one week. It doesn't happen to everyone but it does to many.

Fact is I've always had a good diet to begin with. No one ever asked me that. I've never been a junk food junkie and never had a taste for sugar...in fact I don't like things too sweet. I never have done soft drinks/sodas and vegetables and fruits have been my mainstay. I do eat small amounts of meat but very small and usually just pick at the meat. I mostly do meat for the people I have cooked for...not for me. I was a vegetarian for many years. I got my proteins from vegetable sources mostly.

I've also been in good physical shape pretty much all my life until now. Plenty of exercise and usually with a surplus of energy!

So when I saw the diet comments I sort of lost it. I got this cancer from smoking. Period. I was a heavy smoker. My one huge downfall in the health department. I loved smoking. I don't love it anymore! But I admit I did. The first thing I did in the morning was have a cigarette with my coffee. Every day of my life for at least 45 years. This type of cancer I have is generally caused by smoking. Not all lung cancer is from smoking but this one is. I'm guilty of having a crutch for smoking and a mutated gene. I have no one else to blame for this but myself.

There is much I haven't said...such as stuff like I just reported. Mostly because I don't want to scare anyone to understanding the seriousness of what exactly it is I am going through. Or the fact that I may or may not make it.

Last week was a blurr...and in two weeks I'm going to have to do it again. And why would anybody do that again? It's called fighting for your life.

It's quite simple...I want to live. Until I get the Opdivo...I have to endure this as this type of cancer can grow in a matter of a week to do me in greatly. I cannot afford that until I do get the opdivo. This is no joke...this cancer I have is trying to take me out...quite simply. It's strong but so am I. I plan on doing everything I can to fight it. But you see this cancer has a will of it's own...it fights me daily to live within my body. And I fight daily to kill it. We'll see who wins.

My son and his wife just got the loan approval for their new home which is 5 miles from me. I intend on being there quite often to visit my grandson and his new brother that is coming in the end of September. This cancer does not have the strength to stop that and I will with all my might see to that. This is my will!


Cancer is no f**ing joke. It does not care about anything but survival. It has somehow learned how to survive long enough to suck every bit it can out of its living host. For some reason we as the living host have yet to figure out how to wipe it out completely. Because it morphs in different forms in different way to each of its hosts. And each of those hosts are different as well. Some can endure it to the end of that fight some cannot. I am working to be the one that can and see it to its end. Even after the chemo run and extreme pain in my right lung...I will fight to kill it further.

Please know that I am still strong in some ways..and my chemo last week was just a result of the BS I have to go through to kill this bastard within my system. I'm good...I'm still strong and more than willing to give it my all. But understand this...I'm considered terminal which is why they are giving me the trial medicine.

Because of the nature of where I am at I probably will not be posting much until I start getting better as this is very hard for me to relate and telling you the truth as I've just done is even harder. Nobody should have to hear what I just relayed. I don't want to report this either.

I know your hearts are with me and I apologize for going off the rails the other day I was as I said sitting with a needle in my chest getting ready for my next round...and nobody is more aware of how screwed up the medical industry is than me. I've had to become very proactive when they treat me as the nurse at my doctors office twice now was going to give me the wrong pre meds for my chemo. Those pre meds are very important as they keep me from throwing up and I absolutely hate that! So far I've only thrown up two times. And that is two times too many! Given the right pre meds will prevent that. So I watch them carefully.

So please understand there are no hard feeling here and I do so appreciate the love and understand and advise given here much of which I've been following btw. I'm just going to take a break and work to get as well as I can. If I can report some good findings I will certainly do so...until then Bless you all for your kind thoughts.

I will always be a member here and feel Bill Ryan is a good friend to me. This will never change.

[RunningDeer]

[Foxie Loxie]

What an elegant emblem, Running Dear!

You're darn right that you will ALWAYS be a member here, Shadowself.... thank you for sharing with us & always do what is best for YOU!!

[spade]

Thanks for sharing Shadowself, will be praying for you that you'll live long and fulfill the fullness of your days in good health.

Have you heard about turpentine inhalation through the mouth into the lungs? And you are right in identifying that cancer is a form of a parasite (in that it seems to have a will of its own and a desire to survive). Dr Jennifer Daniels has mentioned that the main concept behind getting rid of parasites is to make them want to leave the body and not kill them because killing them would end up killing yourself due to the symbiosis of the parasite.

[Shadowself]

Good Morning!

Well I said I would be back when I had some good news to report:

Been feeling better and one good plus...I'm not wheezing now. I can take a deep breath and no noise in my lungs! I can take a deep breath of air and actually feel the good effects of oxygen! It's been a while since I've done that.

I'm not even doing the two inhalers I have for breathing!

Right lung still hurts but even with the deep breath it is not as bad as it was. Perhaps this stuff is working? I sincerely hope so after all the crap it puts me through.

This last round of chemo effected the inside of my mouth and my tongue feels all broken out and cut up. They gave me a concoction they call "Magic Mouthwash"....I kid you not! That's what it says on the bottle. It has several things in it to heal the mouth while numbing it with lidocaine. It's gross as hell...but it works...(should I say it?)...Like Magic! LOL

But I'm really stoked about the breathing! It's been awhile since I've been able to take a deep breath! And without massive pain!

Think I'll take another hit of sweet fresh air!

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=vUHlxBZMiqw