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Thread: Too Sensitive, Too Safe

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    United States Avalon Member onawah's Avatar
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    Default Re: Too Sensitive, Too Safe

    Sensitivity, to be healthy, must be openness to all experiences of life, including the negative, though within sensible parameters.
    For example I cannot spend too much time researching pedophilia, Satanic rituals, torture, child sacrifice, etc. without feeling sick, contaminated and hopeless, so I choose not to deal with that kind of information unless there is some purpose for it, some pro-active thing I can do to help expose/stop it.
    Attempting to block out all negativity contributes to a state of being unbalanced, ungrounded and unable to function in this reality, and does not contribute to spiritual evolution.
    Resistance and denial are clearly traits of spiritual immaturity and being "stuck".
    Choosing to look at the light side of things helps to create a practical and effective state of mind, but even being positive must be kept within sensible parameters to be effective.
    One reason why the Buddha taught The Middle Way, and balance in all things.
    Yet even then...

    And so detachment is also very necessary for maintaining balance.
    Each breath a gift...
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    Default Re: Too Sensitive, Too Safe

    Sensitivity is a form of alertness, and is base on fear. While a little fear of dangerous things is essential for survival, excess fear like freezing at the sight of a spider is not desirable. So being overly sensitive is not good. TPTB's major method of exploitation of humanity is by constantly feeding fear. They offer protection to the point of not showing you "graphic" pictures of a tragic event. Of course this means that they can just talk about a fake news event and produce great fear like it is real.

    The only way for humanity to free itself from slavery is to be brave, but we are pushed to the opposite direction and have become overly sensitive by the "educational system". An example would be pictures like the Vietnamese monk setting fire on himself will be censored, making his desperate protest futile. This trend to enhanced sensitivity is bad and will only make a future of total government control all the more likely.

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    Default Re: Too Sensitive, Too Safe

    Quote Posted by AutumnW (here)
    DNA,

    I have watched a lot of Jordan Pererson and have to disagree with your take here. I believe he is happy to comply with a transgendered individual's desire to conform to one of the two genders that make it easier to navigate the social realm. What he objects to is the government imposing rules that broaden pronouns to several different categories, or conversely deny that there is even such a thing as biological gender.

    I have a close transgender friend, born a guy who desires to be called 'she' so that's what I do. She dresses in a feminine way, is beautiful in a feminine way, so of course I refer to her as "her." But if she or anybody else asked me to refer to them using one of several different pronouns I am not familiar with I would have a problem with that. It's not practical and the govt has no business interfering with what should be a natural process of language, be it evolving or remaining static.

    The whole 'self Identifying' thing where a person sees him or herself as a raccoon, a wolf or a different race altogether is nonsense. It dilutes the very real suffering and tragic history of those whose with a very basic underlying mismatch between a strongly masculine or feminine temperament and their biology.

    A person's 'physiology' is mind and brain working in tandem with body. Being feminine or masculine is part of common physiology where this coordinates well. It is a basic. If this doesn't happen smoothly it creates a deep problem. Very very few in the trans community want to be anything other than the opposite sex AND referred to, in that manner.
    There is a Tavistock Institute rationale behind the transgender "concern" right now.
    The push to confuse children and parents into labeling and then "acting" upon some kind of gender decision before a child has even hit puberty.
    The transgender and gay community as a whole are being used right now to push agendas for a more nefarious cause.

    Transgenders don't even make up a large percentage of the gay community. For most gay folks the transgender deal is not an issue with them. There are so few transgender folks but the media is telling "all" of us that it is an issue so compelling and important that they must make it part of the curriculum in our schools for third grade children and younger.

    My personal take on the entire transgender thing is "why should the greater portion of the country need to give a rats ass?". If my personal opinion should count for anything and I'm fine with it not, my opinion of going through a transgender procedure is that it is a form of mutilation. A man going through a transgender procedure is now a mutilated man, not a woman. Now that is "only" an opinion, yet someone here is going to be "activated" and make themselves the thought police and attack me for this.
    I do not have anything against gay folks who wish to do whatever they want that is not involved with dictating social norms to me or my family.
    But I do not consider a transgendered man a woman, to do so insults all women in my opinion.

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    Default Re: Too Sensitive, Too Safe

    I sense there are many contradictions in this thread which would need to be unravelled to lead a happy life:

    "The conflict between humanity's stated desire for peace and their actual need for volatility was the central theme of the entire Original Dune after book one. "

    Is there a connection between nutritional imblances and sensitivity? Magnesium, B-Vits, MSM and green veg are all necesary for calm nerves. I eat a lot of high copper foods. That can cause problems. I can be obsessing over something... then I take some zinc. 30 minutes later Im like... get over yourself... and the problem is forgotten.

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    Default Re: Too Sensitive, Too Safe

    Quote Posted by syrwong (here)
    Sensitivity is a form of alertness, and is base on fear. While a little fear of dangerous things is essential for survival, excess fear like freezing at the sight of a spider is not desirable. So being overly sensitive is not good. TPTB's major method of exploitation of humanity is by constantly feeding fear. They offer protection to the point of not showing you "graphic" pictures of a tragic event. Of course this means that they can just talk about a fake news event and produce great fear like it is real.

    The only way for humanity to free itself from slavery is to be brave, but we are pushed to the opposite direction and have become overly sensitive by the "educational system". An example would be pictures like the Vietnamese monk setting fire on himself will be censored, making his desperate protest futile. This trend to enhanced sensitivity is bad and will only make a future of total government control all the more likely.
    I would say it a bit differently...

    Sensitivity has degrees of awareness. Fear exists in a state of unawareness. Survival instinct is biologically inherent. Execessive fear is thought-driven excess, which can inhibit biological fiight / flight responses. Seeing a coil of rope to be a poisonous snake is delusional unawareness. A deer that 'freezes in the headlights' simply means the deer is blinded by the light. TPTB's major exploitation of humanity shows a desiring mind, many minds, that knows no peace.

    The only way for a human being to be free is to find the treasure that lies within. That is done through a silent mind & open heart. Courage is something one is born with. The seeming lack of it, is a mind-control programming, programmed by society. Because society does not want individuals. It only wants sheep. Because sheep are easy to control. A monk setting himself on fire, for any reason, is a damn fool. It is the least religious thing one can do. For life is a gift. Torching it away in such a way is unforgiveable. It does not deserve to be celebrated. If one is sentive enough, one can be free even while living in a prison.

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    UK Avalon Member Star Mariner's Avatar
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    Default Re: Too Sensitive, Too Safe

    Quote Posted by Mike (here)
    ...well there's one scene where Macgruber sees the ghost of his now dead wife in the cemetery, and they have a little sexual romp. It's complete absurdity. Well this friend of mine lept from his seat and literally ran out of the theatre as that part was playing LOL. It was too much for him. Can you believe that??? I was speechless.
    Yes, I can actually believe that! I went out with a lovely girl once, we got on so well, had such a ball, it was beyond perfect. Except she was the biggest wuss ever. She had a huge, intense, pathological terror of horror films, thrillers, even anything suspenseful. I tried to break her out of it with something very tame to start with. I know, I said, a comedy - with a dash of horror. Shaun of the Dead. Hilarious right? Perfect.

    Bad call, Ripley, I made a baaaad call.

    I don't think she's gotten over it to this day. Although, having said that, I haven't heard from her for 5 years.

    Slight shift off topic, an interlude if you will, but Shaun of the Dead - if you haven't seen it, I heartily recommend (If you don't have too fragile a disposition).


    "When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace."
    ~ Jimi Hendrix

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    Default Re: Too Sensitive, Too Safe

    Funny story Star Mariner!

    For me, it's difficult to understand how she couldn't have handled that differently. Perhaps laughed at herself...perhaps admitted to her irrational fears and made a joke out of it, thus disarming the tension slightly.

    Peterson details the proper balance in life using the terms "order" and " chaos". Naturally we prefer order, but too much order is tyrranical, and distorts us. Too much chaos and we are too vague, nihilistic, without goals, without drive etc. The preferable place to be is mostly ordered, but with a foot dangling it the unknown, or chaos. This gives us excitement and a sense of mystery that is so essential to the spirit. Without it we wither. If our balance is right (and it's always calibrating itself) we can use the chaos without feeling overwhelmed by it...because we have the foundational order to accomodate it.

    People without a sense of humor are tyrannically orderly. Their balance is off. This is all my opinion of course....dont mean to sound too dogmatic. A sense of humor disarms us and the people around us, and actually gives us the emotional courage to dangle our foot into the chaos a little more. So it's a very real tool, and just as important if not more than the others. It's the mark of emotional maturity...of a person is willing to not play it so safe...and a person who is willing to laugh at their sensitivities instead of being "triggered" by them (God I hate that f#cking word lol)
    Last edited by Mike; 30th April 2018 at 02:22.

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    Default Re: Too Sensitive, Too Safe

    I am currently financially and emotionally supporting someone who is really down on his luck. I am happy to do this, but...here is the thing. He has a history of insensitive behavior to others. At the same time he is acutely sensitive himself.

    This is a really nasty combination that I can tolerate up to a point -- but find it really hard to deal with now because, as he is miserable it is more pronounced.

    I really love this individual and he REALLY needs my help right now but that kind of sensitivity is really hard to take.

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    Default Re: Too Sensitive, Too Safe

    How the overly sensitive manage to function is a miracle to me. If a movie throws them an emotional curve ball, they can't get over, what would they do in an actual real life catastrophe, like an unexpected death of a loved one, having to witness a very bad traffic accident??

    I hate to say it but people who are that sensitive, I find kind of repulsive. In a stressful situation that demands courage, or watching out for you, as a friend for instance, you know they will throw you under a bus rather than experience any major discomfort.

    This kind of sensitivity is not commendable in any way. People who are simply extremely cowardly hot house orchids perhaps shouldn't be redeemed with the catch-all definition of "being sensitive" which has a high minded, effete, artistic connotations.

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    Default Re: Too Sensitive, Too Safe

    Quote Posted by AutumnW (here)
    I am currently financially and emotionally supporting someone who is really down on his luck. I am happy to do this, but...here is the thing. He has a history of insensitive behavior to others. At the same time he is acutely sensitive himself.

    This is a really nasty combination that I can tolerate up to a point -- but find it really hard to deal with now because, as he is miserable it is more pronounced.

    I really love this individual and he REALLY needs my help right now but that kind of sensitivity is really hard to take.
    I've had experience with folks like this. It is sensitivity with little or no empathy. I have a family member like this.
    I could never understand the contradiction because she is so sensitive in so far as having her feelings hurt but she has little empathy when it comes to understanding her actions having a negative emotional effect on others. I feel your pain this is a tuff one.

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    Default Re: Too Sensitive, Too Safe

    In so far as movies are concerned, I'm going to have to disagree with what folks are saying here in terms of not understanding their affects.
    Movies, especially when viewed in a movie theater can have a powerful affect.
    Frank Zappa states that "Hollywood is the entertainment arm of the Pentagon". So if for that reason alone we should probably be a little careful with what we watch.
    I personally do not watch horror movies anymore. I mean "Shawn of the Dead" is freaking hilarious and as such I wouldn't really classify it as a true horror movie.
    "Evil Dead 2" is kind of in the same vein, only much better in my opinion.
    They remade "Evil Dead" a few years ago and hoping it was going to have some of the same comedic devices that made Sam Raime's cult classic so good I went ahead and began watching it. Big mistake. This movie floated around in my psyche and mind for way to long after watching only a portion of it.

    I'm a sensitive and empathic individual, I feel the pain of others. It does me no good what so ever to watch people portrayed in extreme psychological and physical agony. Regardless if it is "just" a movie, the pain portrayed hits home for me.

    My next statement I don't expect anyone to believe, but if you could suspend disbelief for a moment you might understand where I'm coming from.
    My empathy and sensitivity combined with practicing the certain techniques from the aforementioned author Carlos Castaneda allowed me to see ghosts as a young man. As a thirty one year old I was not quite completely good at turning this ability off at will. A girl I had began dating at this time wanted to see the movie "The Grudge" when it was playing at theaters. BIG mistake on my part. My date was enjoying the movie immensely so I couldn't even leave after I saw it was something I probably shouldn't be watching. A big part of my work life was working alone in a large corporate building at the time. Scenes from the movie would randomly play through my head at work, all alone and ghosts would use this tid-bit and play along acting the part of the antagonists from the movie. This was not a good time for me.


    Just my 2 cents.

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    Default Re: Too Sensitive, Too Safe

    If I may add some conjecture, someone who is acutely sensitive is not necessarily sensitive in a good way.

    Both the people you, (DNA and AutumnW), describe could equally be exhibiting all the signs of emotional immaturity. Supporting these people without challenging their behaviour is not actually helping at all.

    I repeat, mere conjecture, I do not know the people. Just something to consider.

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    Default Re: Too Sensitive, Too Safe

    DNA,

    Mine is family member as well. Really tough.

    And no, your story isn't at all weird. Or maybe it's weird but believable about the ghosts. And maybe some of these individuals I have just unkindly used the blanket term 'cowardly' to describe are people who are separated from the astral realm by a much thinner membrane. To myself and others, a super sensitive triggered reaction to a movie seems ridiculous. But that might be judging some of them too superficially.

    Thanks so much for your perspective and personal revelation here. It helps to provide a more rounded out picture of the super sensitive. It may be part of a larger supernatural phenomenon.

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    Default Re: Too Sensitive, Too Safe

    Quote Posted by Ewan (here)
    If I may add some conjecture, someone who is acutely sensitive is not necessarily sensitive in a good way.

    Both the people you, (DNA and AutumnW), describe could equally be exhibiting all the signs of emotional immaturity. Supporting these people without challenging their behaviour is not actually helping at all.

    I repeat, mere conjecture, I do not know the people. Just something to consider.
    Thank you Ewan. You are right. I don't know why some people are arrested in early adolescence and supporting them emotionally is usually enabling. If they are covertly manipulative, even more so. I have had to withdraw emotional support to my family member recently, but I won't cut him off financially, not when he is sick and disturbed. These types often end up in a world of pain as they get older. It's pretty tragic.

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    Default Re: Too Sensitive, Too Safe

    I have been super sensitive at times in my life, in particular times when I was meditating a lot and doing other spiritual practices. ( For example, I lived at a Zen Center in a remote area for a year in my 20s, where we meditated for hours every day.)
    Zen meditation can definitely make one more sensitive, in both good and bad ways, if we are defining bad as being unable to control aversion.
    In my experience, it can help make people more sensitive in good ways in that they generally become more intuitive, more clairvoyant, with enhanced ability to heal, to empathize, etc.
    The year at the Zen Center, spending time in close connection to Nature and in close community with others, in high, altered states of consciousness was the best, most joyful and healing year of my life in many ways.
    On the other hand the initial stages of returning to mainstream life was actually quite traumatic for me.
    Whether sensitivity is an advantage or not is very much a matter of perspective and circumstance.
    However, attachment and aversion are both states that someone on a traditional spiritual path aspires to transcend.
    Emotional sensitivity can be made more acute by physical injury.
    Our subtle energetic bodies interpenetrate with our grosser energy bodies and they affect each other.
    So even a physically heroic person can be turned into an emotional wreck if they suffer enough physical injury.
    Last edited by onawah; 4th May 2018 at 18:58.
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    Default Re: Too Sensitive, Too Safe

    I don't watch horror movies much either. Not cos I'm a scaredy cat, but because I think they unecessarily poison the heart/mind of the collective consciousness, and tie our psyche in knots. Nightmare on Elm Street makes you afraid of dreams, Mirrors will make you scared of mirrors...

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirrors_(film)

    Jaws will make you scared of the ocean. In small doses they are good fun, but I wonder if a diet of horror has polluted the subconscious of many people, making them afraid to explore the esoteric side of life, and too scared to realize their dreams.

    I watched The Shining when I was 13-14. Those twins gave me nightmares for years. I still think its an amazing film, but I find it hard to watch the whole thing alone. Don't Look Now, a 70s chiller set in Venice, likewise stayed in my mind for 10 years after watching it. But those stories about people being terrified are a little over the top.

    The good side of sensitive is that music can take you higher than it would a "non-sensitive" person.

    *

    Monetizing sensitivity? Check out Slack, worth nearly 3 billion last time I checked. They took an IRC clone, an ugly looking ascii chat app used by hackers.... They changed the colors, layout, fonts, and welcome messages. From that 6 week design sprint, turning a bare bones chat application into something beautiful, they built a thriving business.

    Quote So whats the secret behind Slack? What did you guys do that was so special? the voice crackled over my cars Bluetooth, I want you guys to do whatever you did for them. I was on a call with a prospective client, the CEO of a successful SaaS app who wanted to hire us to redesign his product. I launched into a story that Ive told hundreds of times.

    Ive been asked this question almost every day for the past year by clients, investors, and fellow designers trying to reverse engineer the secret behind Slacks success. It seems like Slack is taking over the world these days, now sporting a mind-boggling $2.8 billion dollar valuation, hundreds of thousands of users, and a break-neck growth rate.

    The story is here:

    https://medium.com/@awilkinson/slack...e-5c5ec7117908
    Last edited by Daozen; 2nd May 2018 at 01:07.

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    Default Re: Too Sensitive, Too Safe

    Quote Posted by Daozen (here)
    I don't watch horror movies much either. Not cos I'm a scaredy cat, but because I think they unecessarily poison the heart/mind of the collective consciousness,,,
    You know I agree here. I was going to elaborate on certain things earlier but I didn't want to get too long winded.
    Back in the nineties a friend of mine asked me why I liked "Stormship Troopers" so much but I wouldn't watch the "Saw" franchise or any number of other slasher movies, and I surprised myself with being able to voice an abstract understanding I had never articulated before.
    I stated "Human on human violence especially when glorifying serial killers desensitizes people to "human on human" suffering. It desensitizes and takes away a certain ingrained ethical code not to hurt people. But monster on human violence isn't the same thing. It's a monster, he doesn't have the same ethics and it's easier to understand what is going on here".
    So, just saying.
    Last edited by DNA; 2nd May 2018 at 18:45.

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    Default Re: Too Sensitive, Too Safe

    Which "dog" inside you do you want to "feed"?!

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    Default Re: Too Sensitive, Too Safe

    Too safe, too sensitive....too nice.

    Excessive niceness is just as toxic and unproductive as it's opposite... and just as harmful. The result may not be as immediate, but it will arrive nonetheless.

    Excessive niceness suggests agreeableness. Someone who is excessively nice is likely afraid of conflict or controversy of any sort, and will avoid it like the plague - even if it's something they know will multiply several fold and return later to bite them if they don't deal with it now. Being too nice is being too weak.

    People that are too nice will not be honest with you - they fear the consequences. And you can't be honest with them either, if you're interested in remaining friends. They will shy away from anything that makes them uncomfortable.

    The most profound growth usually happens in moments of discomfort. If you are surrounded by people who are afraid of discomfort, you will never grow.

    Deep down, we all know this. When we don't want to be challenged, we choose weak company. We do this mostly subconsciously. But it's ultimately unproductive and mind-numbingly boring. Consider the myth of the woman who says she "just wants to meet a nice guy." Well that bullsh!t, of course. She may want to meet a "nice guy" after a tough break up for a shoulder to cry on, but the second a more interesting, confident man arrives (the "bad boy") she'll drop the "nice" guy in an instant.

    This isn't as superficial as it seems. It just seems that way because of the language we choose to use. If we replace "nice" with "weak", and replace "bad boy" with "strong" it all makes sense. For all his faults, the so called "bad boy" is much more honest and open about them then the comparatively disingenuous "nice guy". He actually has more character than the "nice guy", and is therefore more attractive.

    Too nice, too safe, too sensitive...
    Peterson says in the interview posted earlier in this thread, "In order to be able to think, you have to risk being offensive." How true. If we never risk being offensive, we will never be able to productively think!...

    ..Therefore, excessive niceness is ultimately tyrannical.

    Take Avalon, for example - I'll take an aggressively trollish, boorish type over an excessively nice member any day. Both are ultimately corrupting influences, but the troll will give you more honesty.

    Some of my old friends met me and my girlfriend in St Augustine this week. It had been a while since we'd all been in one place together. We picked up right where we left off, busting each others balls mercilessly. Nothing is sacred in this group of guys - divorces, deaths, suicide attempts...you name it. It's a ruthless group, and if you can't keep up, you'll get eviscerated pretty quick...

    ...and I got eviscerated. I couldn't keep up. And I have to tell you, it was a horrible feeling. I'd lost something, clearly. Some time ago - on the advice of an ex - i decided to be nicer, more kind...not so caustic etc. And I worked on it daily. It worked a little too well. I got too nice, too sensitive, too safe... As I said earlier in the thread, your weaknesses will come find you, no matter how hard you try to hide from them; well they found me this week. Pretty quickly I realized that I hadn't gotten nice, I'd gotten weak, I'd gotten slow... (in my defense, i found my legs a couple days in and held my own pretty well)

    This isn't a suggestion to be unkind or discourteous. We should always be striving to be good to each other...but not if it's disingenuous or at the expense of our character or our ability to think and share honestly
    Last edited by Mike; 4th May 2018 at 19:05.

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    United States Avalon Member RunningDeer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Too Sensitive, Too Safe

    Quote Posted by Mike (here)
    Too safe, too sensitive....too nice.

    Excessive niceness is just as toxic and unproductive as it's opposite... and just as harmful. The result may not be as immediate, but it will arrive nonetheless.

    Well that bullsh!t, of course. She may want to meet a "nice guy" after a tough break up for a shoulder to cry on, but the second a more interesting, confident man arrives (the "bad boy") she'll drop the "nice" guy in an instant.
    Mike, there's lots of ground covered in your post. I'll touch on a few themes: bad boys and courage to step out of your comfort zone.

    Ive participated in a couple of outward bounds, one of which included the fire walk. I watched bad boys break down in some of the activities where they had to rely on others; some declined to participate the blindfold exercise in the woods.

    The bad boys thrived on competition. They excelled on the acrobatics and climbs. Kudos to one when he conquered his fear of trust and fell backwards into the arms of the group from a height of 4-5. It took a bit of convincing for him to let go. The natural release of tension brought out cathartic sobs as he rocked in a cradle of tightly woven arms. His bad boy buddies passed on that activity.

    In hindsight, those outward bounds were nothing compared to some of the stuff of real life. Were strong. Reminders every now and again keeps us fit in spirit, thought and body.

    Too safe, too sensitive....too nice? My preference is walk the path of integrity. Live and continue to grow in the highest standards of propriety. No trespassing on others nor violate minds or personal space. Same in return.

    Last edited by RunningDeer; 5th May 2018 at 00:24.

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