Embrace the Shadow Self – Your Dark Side Misses You

[petra]

Posted by XelNaga (here)
...
Our teacher and brother Buddha once said: "if you have no sincere friends to walk your spiritual path with, than it is best to walk it alone", or something similar to that :-)

And, just to add this: if material side of life is just a game, and spiritual side is our real life, then, who cares if you are alone or not, play it like any single-player game out there, and when it's game over and you switch off your console, your family and friends will be there, in real and important part of life, waiting for you to show them how many levels you have passed :-)

PS: sincere apologies for this rambling, mistakes (as English is not my native language), and for using "I" waaaay toooo much :-D

The whole posting is beautiful to me - this part especially

I remember thinking "The more truth that I tell, the more people think I am lying"

Jesus said not to cast pearls before swine, and although that's kind of offensive to pigs, I think I get the point. What might be a pearl to me, might be a self destruct button for someone else.

[James]

I know a few folks that ooze money in semi-predictable intervals to whatever cause seems to catch them at the right moment. And not because they're empathetic to the particular cause, but because they need to lose a little guilt. They feel burdened with their excesses and shave a little off the top to lighten the load so they can enjoy their upcoming trip to Costa Rica.

I'd hardly consider them "service to others," even though they're paying to feed 200 refugees in Uganda, or funding the charity that equips Mr. Harris with a new mobility scooter.

Maybe they're like the mother that needs to serve herself before she can serve her children, with guilt replacing maternal instinct as the mechanism?

I sponsored an event once and deeply undercut everyone else also having nearby events that evening, rendering them unable to compete - but - I gave 10% of my profits to a food bank, keeping a good chunk of what was left for myself. Was I serving myself, others, or both - and if both - where did the sliding scale rest at? 60% others and 40% self? Or something else?

Someone phone the arbitrator!

[Andre]

Posted by turiya (here)
Therein lies the false paradigm that lay as the basis in the belief of there being two evolutionary paths of consciousness - Service to Others (STO) vs Service to Self (SOS). There are not two separate paths. You can say there is only one path, or better yet - there is no path. In other words, Service to Self (STS) is Service to Others (STO). No need for separation.

Unless I misunderstand the statement above, this philosophical viewpoint feels very similar to the old New Age notion that "we are all one" and strikes me as being yet another form of spiritual bypassing (as explained elsewhere in this thread). While it may be true that there is no STS or STO or much polarity in the higher realms, this is not the case in 3D which operates under very specific 3D laws where polarity of all kinds is very real and is all around us. Polarity in 3D cannot be treated as an "illusion". It is simply another form of denial to assert there is no STS or STO, good or evil, positive and negative, etc. If someone confronts me with a gun in an alley and that person is full of hatred, I cannot pretend there is no STS present in that situation. I have to acknowledge this person's mental state and do my best to extricate myself from the situation. While feeling that there is no STS present in that situation may calm me, it may also get me killed because I am in a state of denial! Learning to deal with these polarities in 3D is one of the reasons we incarnate here in the first place.

[mindbend8r]

I agree with your post, but the question would be how far do you take the darkness in you that you feel. To have the thoughts in you of the darkness and to acknowledge them and feel them is one thing but to act out on them is a different story. What if the darkness in you contemplates murdering someone to deal with it inside yourself and try to reconcile with yourself the truth that this is the dark side of you and face it and overcome it within yourself is one thing, but what if the darkness compels you to act out and it overcomes you. What if you enter the darkness and cant escape. You can become the darkness. So I think I can understand why people would be afraid to explore their dark side, cause if confronted maybe they don't know what they would do, so they fear it and maybe rightfully so....

[Mike]

bump-bump

[Flash]

Posted by Andre (here)

Posted by turiya (here)
Therein lies the false paradigm that lay as the basis in the belief of there being two evolutionary paths of consciousness - Service to Others (STO) vs Service to Self (SOS). There are not two separate paths. You can say there is only one path, or better yet - there is no path. In other words, Service to Self (STS) is Service to Others (STO). No need for separation.

Unless I misunderstand the statement above, this philosophical viewpoint feels very similar to the old New Age notion that "we are all one" and strikes me as being yet another form of spiritual bypassing (as explained elsewhere in this thread). While it may be true that there is no STS or STO or much polarity in the higher realms, this is not the case in 3D which operates under very specific 3D laws where polarity of all kinds is very real and is all around us. Polarity in 3D cannot be treated as an "illusion". It is simply another form of denial to assert there is no STS or STO, good or evil, positive and negative, etc. If someone confronts me with a gun in an alley and that person is full of hatred, I cannot pretend there is no STS present in that situation. I have to acknowledge this person's mental state and do my best to extricate myself from the situation. While feeling that there is no STS present in that situation may calm me, it may also get me killed because I am in a state of denial! Learning to deal with these polarities in 3D is one of the reasons we incarnate here in the first place.

I see the ego, which is part of the shadow when left to itself, as a beautiful horse that one is riding. At first, the horse is nervous, goes in all directions, resist, throw his rider down to the ground, sometimes even injurs it by kicking it, and with time and practice, the real Self get the horse to obey to its commands. And the horse starts riding beautifully, with its rider (Self) controlling the path they are going forwards to.

While the horse is in its infancy of domestication, the Self has to be tougher and gentler at the same time, in order to tame the horse. Then the rider can start sharing desires and wishes with the horse, etc etc.

This means that the dark side of us cannot be put into action, but the resistance, the kicking, the nervousness, the hatred of the rider, etc. has to be put processed, understood, admitted (not repressed) and the pain going with it processed consciously too, into a frame that works without destroying anything. One cannot have great powers with any hatred still in their heart - as the higher up often do hatred in their heart coupled with powers - otherwise destruction and misery for the planet and all in/on it is insured.

[Mike]

"If you’re harmless you’re not virtuous - you're just harmless - you’re like a rabbit; a rabbit isn’t virtuous, it just can’t do anything except get eaten! That’s not virtuous. If you're a monster, and you don't act monstrously, then you're virtuous."
-Jordan Peterson

This quote by Peterson sums it up nicely for me.

So many people hide behind their virtue to avoid fearful or uncomfortable situations.

But true virtue involves engaging your inner monster (or "shadow"), acknowledging it in all it's horror, and having the strength of character to decide to be ethical despite it.

This concept of embracing the shadow is really a simple one, but has caused quite a bit of confusion. Embracing the shadow doesn't mean acting upon all our basest instincts, it simply means acknowledging them...not repressing or judging them. And then, after nodding to them, making a better decision.

I think we judge the human race a little too harshly sometimes. We wake up each day, walk outside, and things are generally ordered and pleasant. It's a miracle that things aren't totally anarchic! It's taken us thousands and thousands of years to get to this point, so don't take it for granted!

All people are capable of the absolute worst on any given day, and occasionally we'll get a Hitler or a Stalin or (fill in the blank). But for the most part, people keep their shadows in check. It's really quite remarkable.

We live in a relative world; nothing has meaning without it's opposite. That's what the shadow provides. This is my understanding anyway.

[enfoldedblue]

I wrote an article on this for Wake up World a few years ago

or some, what I am about to share might seem radical, ridiculous, or even crazy, and for others will appear self-evident. I feel compelled to actively put it out there because I feel in many respects it is a crucial key to shifting our reality; the more people who take it to heart, the better our collective outlook will be.

At an early stage in my journey I became aware of the fact that each human is in fact a fractal of the whole. Deep within the vastness of our being we each contain every essence, every type of energy from the most sublimely divine to the most wickedly depraved. Initially when this realisation came to me it was quite abstract and there was a distance between me and the idea. However, as I explored the deeper regions of my being I found myself coming face to face with aspects that showed me that this was not just some faraway concept, it was a hardcore reality.


The more I explored my inner world the clearer it became that we implicitly contain every energetic expression. I realised that there was nothing that I could see in my outer world that was not in essence a part of me. Initially I was frightened by the understanding that I contained such dark and horrible pieces. Did this mean that I was evil? I didn’t want to be evil. Those guys out there are sociopaths, I am not a sociopath; I would never do those things, perpetrate those acts. On some level I feared that if I allowed myself to accept the dark aspects, I would become them. The only sane, good option it seemed was to leave them unclaimed; to reject them. However, as I explored these uncomfortable parts of myself it eventually occurred to me that it was actually possible to ‘own’ these parts without choosing to enact them. After all I am a sovereign being with the ability to decide what actions I deem worthy of expression. I could claim all my dark, ugly bits, bring them into conscious awareness, and still choose to operate from a space of love.

Casting Out The Dark

As young developing humans most of us learn to reject ‘undesirable’ aspects, to repress them in order to feel comfortable with our selves, and to ensure acceptance in our social group. We select what we are, and what we are not. In order to elucidate I will use the most basic example: I am light, I am not dark. However, if we are truly a reflection of the whole, then we should contain everything, even darkness. In rejecting and ‘disowning’ our dark parts we cast them out. But where do they go? I suspect this energy, cast out of our inner world, manifests in our external reality.

Rejected as part of the whole, thrown away from love, these elements seek to be re-integrated. They show up everywhere in our environment waiting for recognition. We perceive them as threats, and try to fight or ignore them. This doesn’t work; it only exacerbates the problem and reinforces the dualistic state caused by the self-imposed separation. If we recognize that external reality is a reflection of our inner state, it becomes clear that it is important that we take responsibility for our energy. In order stop adding to the problem we need to cease focusing so much on the outside and do some inner housekeeping. By healing our inner world, through acknowledgement of all that we truly are, we take responsibility for our energy and cease contributing to the darkness of our outer collective reality.

In order to illustrate my point I will use an analogy of a gardener. Imagine each of us is a gardener who has been gifted with the responsibility of managing every seed in existence. As this gardener we become aware that there are some seeds that develop into beautiful food and flowers. We value these seeds and carefully plant and nurture them. However, we also believe that some seeds grow into nasty weeds. Fearing the potential of these seeds we don’t want to be associated with them so, like most other gardeners in our world, we toss them away into the wind. ‘This is not me I want nothing to do with these seeds.’ These unclaimed, unmanaged seeds end up everywhere and thrive and threaten to dominate our environment. No one is willing to take responsibility for these plants. ‘No, I would never plant such a seed; this plant has nothing to do with me. It must just be the nature of reality.’

If instead we accepted responsibility for ‘owning’ the whole gamut of seeds, we could cease contributing to the communal problem. As a wise gardener we would not toss the potentially dangerous seeds away, we would do the opposite, aware of their power, we would keep them close by, where they could be kept in check and managed responsibly.

Continuing on with the gardening analogy, when we stop fearing the seeds that we allowed to get out of control through neglect and mismanagement, we might discover that judging them as weeds may have been rash decision triggered by fear and misunderstanding. If instead of pushing away the dark seeds, we chose to look at them more closely, we might discover that they have valuable qualities and attributes that we were previously unaware of. When tended and cultivated consciously, with understanding and awareness, we might find that their growth can actually have benefits for the whole.

“Like colours to an artist, there is no good or bad, the whole spectrum is available for expression. The darker colours are necessary to add depth, and when used appropriately, with awareness of the whole, are vital components of the emerging beauty.” ~ Jump Into the Blue.

Acknowledging The Wholeness

The more of us who assume responsibility of our own darkness, the less truant energy will be available to continue to animate the dark story that has been unfolding on this planet. Are we ready to stop being irresponsible gardeners dominated by unconsciously driven manifestations? Are we ready to stop placing the blame ‘out there’? Are we ready to own all that we truly are and stop denying our accountability? Are we ready to become custodians of our reality, acknowledging the wholeness of our being, so that we can consciously determine which elements we want to cultivate in our external reality? Rather than working to repress, fight, and deny some of what we are, let’s become mindful co-creators, nurturing and guiding a peaceful world based on love and beauty in full awareness of all that we are.

There are many approaches to begin exploring our inner world and integrating our shadow aspects. Carl Jung, a pioneer of shadow work, wrote much on the subject, and there are many great books and healers that teach strategies to facilitate the process. However, the most important attributes of initiating inner healing include being open, and willing to look at oneself as honestly as possible. A lot of my personal work takes place in meditation or in the bath. However, with certain challenging aspects I worked with a soul retrieval practitioner. She held space, and assisted me to connect with, and create an opening in my heart for some of my more stubborn, hidden, or sneaky parts.

The beauty of this work is that, not only does it contribute to healing our collective reality, it also creates powerful shifts on a personal level. When we face and integrate our fears and all our bits that we previously avoided, we find a new level of inner peace, solidity and wholeness.