The malaise ! Can anyone relate ?

[thepainterdoug]

I haven't posted in a while. I came in tonight , compelled to write this regardless of agreement. It's reaching a tipping point for my own sanity.

I live in Hoboken NJ a small one square mile town right outside NYC.

I have been here for 30 years since it was an artists town , alive and vibrant . So I have measure on what I'm seeing feeling and perceiving.

Its now zombified. Its correct. Its safe , It's meeting polite quotas. And it thoroughly DEAD!

the drill/

1. 2 CHILDREN
A designer dog.
The gal has at least one tattoo usually her ankle .
The guys arms are painted.
Grandmas have tattoos
THEY DRIVE A SUV
The gal wears tight leggings but are offended if you see their cracks pronounced as to the design of the leg-gins.
the guy wears a tee and a baseball cap turned around
The gal has a yoga mat under her arm and walks with resting bitch face as a preset, never a smile , never an "enlightened" hello. never outgoing, no love in their eyes
the guy is PRE offended, and has biceps to threaten

they are acting out parts, but i doubt they even know the forces that wrote their scripts

They cross the street against the light and then glare at you in your car for being wrong

Everyone looks the same.

No smiles, No eye contact. No invention, no imagination, No inquiry or creativity of any kind. NO HUMOR

They use their cell phone as a strategy to not to engage.

You're a friend one moment, but then it has a 3 day timer on it, then they no longer know you.

If you have no apparent value, you don't have value , and don't exist.

If you have possible" impression "value, to who they are with, then its , Hey whats happeninnn. how are you? How've you been??? As fake as can be.

When at a restaurant, the manners are over the top sacchrine . ohhh thank you!! ohh how sweet !! oh you didn't have to!!! for every little spoon , fork or tooth pick thats put down

you can cut with a knife the sickening fear and correctness, they don't say anything out of line, don't act anyway not sanctioned or verified. don't bring up any thing of urgency or debate

Don't risk image, don't risk face.

This may sound totally ridiculous , but I'm desperate. It's slipping away and fast.

I'm rowing my own lifeboat of vibrancy

I was just told by friends at the parking authority they are being trained not to say certain words like girl or Mamm. it may offend.

well than "man or guy" should also offend and will follow closely I'm sure


no longer can you smile at, or admire the beauty of children

Everyone doubts their place and their position.

fuuuuuuck what is happening?? 1984??

Am I alone or does anyone see and feel this???

CAUTION!!! NOSTALGIA WARNING/

I remember driving in the car in summertime in the 70ies, 80ies , everyone hanging their feet out the window. Saying high waving to all in the cars on the highway. Cars, roadsters, mopar, hemi's, vette,s, camaros bikes , music steppenwolf, doors , airplane, stones, p floyd motown, moodie blues and it goes on.

life, alive, open , engaged, or tripping out, it was palpable and urgent and a celebration.

It slips away in increments , you don't gain 50 lbs overnight , it happens little by little and you look back and go holy **** what happened!

Well thats whats happening with our society our soul and spirit, with our humanity and our empathy.

So friends is it me? Please tell me ? I don't mean to judge, I mean to identify.

Is it just confined to my town? cause ill pack up and get outta dodge asap.

But Im doubtful , I'm afraid, it's the malaise . the 5 g wifi malaise

a world malaise

doug

[Caliban]

the guy is PRE offended, and has biceps to threaten ... they are acting out parts, but i doubt they even know the forces that wrote their scripts ... No smiles, No eye contact. No invention, no imagination, No inquiry or creativity of any kind. NO HUMOR

Those lines above are my favorite, Doug. It's a rant and it's a "Manifesto of Malaise". I'm applauding here. And I hear you loudly and clearly.

It's technology addiction, it's political correctness as deity, mixed in with good ol' NYC poserhood. But, no, it's not of course just confined to your hood. It's all over the place. No imagination. No humor, especially no self-humor. They just don't get it.

Take a road trip. Maybe you'll stumble on something different. I doubt it though. Plug up the lifeboat. You gotta keep your own vibrancy going. Seek out one or two comrades. In a time of flesh wounds, keep on being the knife that goes deep.

[Bill Ryan]

Posted by Caliban (here)
I'm applauding here. And I hear you loudly and clearly.

Yes, me too. That's a wonderful piece of writing. You nailed a whole bunch of important points, all at once, in very few words.

[East Sun]

Hi, thepaintergoug, nice to see you back again. I don't post much either. \

I can identify with what you're saying having lived in NY City for a decade.. I wanted out of cities having grown up in a rural place

as a kid. Some people I know from NJ originally moved back there a week ago from the cape. I doubt that they will stay.

You are an artist so expect that you know people your age that you could meet and communicate with.

Now that I'm retired I can peruse my long 'kept on hold' need to paint and draw which I am doing.

Anyway, this a great forum, as you know, to communicate with great thinking and aware people.

The conditioned thinking of young people at this time is sad. I hate all this new tech. stuff.

I avoid most of that 'crapola.'

IMO, you need people who are 'your type of people'. Where you will find them I don't know but there must be some somewhere.

Keep in touch.

ES

[chancy]

Hello thepainterdoug:
Congratulations! You are definitely not politically correct! That's a good thing! )
What you have just describe is ALL of Canada for the last couple of decades.
Every hamlet,village,town and city is exactly how you have describe it!

No one visits anymore. No one says more than a paragraph to each other. I must admit I am going against the grain and make sure everyone I run into has to talk and give some output. Most are stupifided. They have never talked that much in their lives! (mostly younger people)

All hamlets,villages,towns and cities are perfect! There is nothing out of place. Everything is done without the say of the people. Everything is in perfection mode. No one can make a mistake since political correctness has made sure of that. You could never offend anyone because all words are used that are polite. Never forget please and thank you even if it's not needed.

I always use THANK-YOU at the end of all interactions with anyone in Canada. That way they think I am special like everyone else.( I am just me but it fools all the people asleep) My kids especially correct me if I don't use flatturing words of political correctness.

This way of life has been in the making for along long time. I believe it's the UN or some other organization that gives workshops and guides of how it's suppose to be and the government employess are obligated to implement these things whether municipal,provincial or federal.

IF we weren't living it we couldn't believe this way of life could be happening. You definitely have to NOT BE politically correct to notice.

Possibly a special frequency on cell phones does this to people. I don't use a cell phone so maybe that's why I am not affected. My family is completely under that spell and so it goes
"be happy"

chancy

[thepainterdoug]

Chancy lots of take away in your response. thanks and thanks to everyone . I'm working hard , very productive and for the most part happy. but i feel so frustrated, it could be so much better for people. it could be a celebration of life, everyday! our precious time, and its slipping away foolishly , right in front of everyones eyes. you want to scream!

it must have a larger backstory. the cell phone and tablet world has acted like white sugar to candida . so the fungus is spreading rapidly/ thanks all

[Ivanhoe]

Hi Doug,
Yeah, I've been noticing this for a while.
My current vocation is as a bartender and, as a consequence, I'm a people watcher, and I see these things all the time.
Everything is PC culture, or so it seems, and it all seems to be incredibly superficial when it comes to people interacting with other people, or at least that's been my observation, but that may be an occupational hazard of the job.
Everyone seems to be afraid of offending anyone else with what they say, or more likely, are afraid what they say will be misconstrued, and that they may be seen as the odd man out, so they tread lightly. A lot of back pedaling goes on.
Politeness is one thing, I'm all for being civil, but I've noticed a lot of "group think" so they can fit in and not rock the boat or even cause a ripple in the pond.
God forbid you should say something that causes them to stop for a moment and really consider the meaning of what has been said, or something that challenges the status quo.
The silence that follows can be deafening. LOL
But then, I may just be overly judgemental, after all, I'm viewing all this through my own pair of rose colored glasses and various other filters.

[thepainterdoug]

and its really nothing to do with politeness or manners or being civil etc. I'm all for being a gentleman and being considerate. it more like this culture is going into a cocoon like stage prior to becoming hybrids, part man machines of some sort. like human greys

[chancy]

Posted by thepainterdoug (here)
Chancy lots of take away in your response. thanks and thanks to everyone . I'm working hard , very productive and for the most part happy. but i feel so frustrated, it could be so much better for people. it could be a celebration of life, everyday! our precious time, and its slipping away foolishly , right in front of everyones eyes. you want to scream!

it must have a larger backstory. the cell phone and tablet world has acted like white sugar to candida . so the fungus is spreading rapidly/ thanks all

Hello thepainterdoug:
I just got back from my exercise walk with my wife and I was thinking about this topic you brought to the table Doug.
I don't have all the answers but maybe the thing to do is not care about this way of life that most people have latched onto.

As I told my wife the only thing we can do to protect ourselves from all this craziness is be "Debt Free"
I don't know any younger person who is living from pay check to pay check. There is no buffer zone and it's hard on the body!
Can you imagine everything is debt including the cell phone? I can't because we weren't brought up that way.
Another few things I was thinking was my wife is from another country that hasn't fallen to the "perfection" way of life yet. She is a korean soviet and can see the same thing you described where others her age are slurping up the "perfection" way of life faster than you can say come and get it!
This topic is fascinating to me since my wife is 20 years younger than I am so she should actually be right in the mist of what this threat is about. She is not though.

I know that school has alot to do with it. My kids are younger and they are swimming in this life style at school everyday. I remind them many times a day to live life like you mean it. Don't listen to ridiculous ideas but search them out yourself and be yourself. Don't try to be perfect because it probably won't happen this time around.

Last of all try out some things in your bucket list and you will be amazed that their will be people just like you in your travels.
Keep in touch with them because they know exactly what you are talking about.

My job is people and if they act too preoccupied I get them back to reality with a few stories just like you told in your first post of this thread. I must admit I look forward to giving them a bit of a bad time when I see them and they are looking for me to give them a bad time about example spending too much time on their cell phone etc.
They can't believe I don't carry a cell phone with me. I'm the only person they know who doesn't.
I have a few of them but only use them occasionally.

I don't think there is a solution to your first post but we can definitely change one person's mind at a time in regards to the fasaud.
Have a great evening Doug
chancy

[RunningDeer]

Over the last six week, I’ve had to learn how to give myself permission to do nothing. It was either that or I’d do nothing and sit with guilt. The heat and humidity play a part. (no air conditioning)

I have no desire to go out and about because everything I need is here and I like the pace of how I live. When I do go out, I pick times when it’s not so busy. People seem to be into themselves because of that I tend to be as well.

Recently, I’ve drawn hard lines in the sand with a couple of family members. I’ve lost my patience with how they’re the same as they were 45+ years ago. I wait no more. It’s freeing, but it’s an adjustment. I’ve lost three close family members in the last six months (i.e. death). It’s another adjustment and reminder to live as full a life as I can. The definition of a full life has changed. It’s me setting the pace without a to-do-list.

I’m productive enough with the daily routines and in concrete ways. But it bothers me that I don’t want to explore nor engage the higher self. I do catch sensations in my body. I label them downloads. My sense is I’m readying for my next phase. It doesn’t matter what it is because every life phase has always been better than the last.


PS Doug, sometimes I don't recognize the person in the mirror.
PSS Tattoo-less

♡

[Patient]

Seems that there are a small percentage of people that are "awake" like people on Avalon. Then there is another small percentage that is half awake, and they might be questioning some things or in the process of awakening, but fall right back into their auto-mode of day to day life. Then the larger percentage that just does what they are taught and programmed to do.

We have to remember that TPTB have been working on keeping the population dummied down through food, media and even the environment. Based on what I see day to day, their methods have been successful to a point where they have a good amount of the population in their control and dummied down.

I have been around the north american continent and yeah....there are great little towns and wonderful big cities. You can find good people everywhere, but I see an obvious trend in a dummied down society. The upside is that there is a strong force of information that is waking people up to an extent and I believe that is where we have to gain our strength from when/if we ever feel down. I know that I have woken up a small amount of people in certain ways and that is a great feeling! We have awoken many people to look into the eyes of animals and see that there is an animal looking back and wondering what you are thinking.

[Hazelfern]

Cashier 56 years old. Depends where you are, where you go that paints the picture. I have found that it's not age, but education (or class - meaning simply decency) that makes the interaction tolerable or not.
I think, many ppl are not being raised with love. My God.

[shaberon]

Yeppers.

Good bitter brew there. And you know what, these people are very, very afraid of me.

I squeaked out in the 70s which was around the last time they made many real people. I never knew how it happened, but eventually I found out they killed childhood. This must be a really big part of it. As soon as I could walk, I went wherever I wanted and talked to anybody. It was great. These days they would stuff the parents in jail and kidnap the child.

I have absolutely no memories of these high and mighty commandments about things like car seats or not even being allowed outside into one's yard. Nor being raised with a video game as a babysitter.

And I really did not understand the changing society. Years back, I would have proudly announced I was a Politically Correct Globalist, since I would have meant the words literally, instead of in the code of double speak that must have come straight from George Orwell. I mean, it would be politically correct to oppose the federal government, and I believe in global peace and fair trade, not colonization. So they tricked me for a while in the Clinton era until I checked around to find what it really meant and what was actually going on.

The result I saw from the 9/11 thing was a complete spine shattering of everyone. Aside from any speech laws or common courtesy, suddenly, you just couldn't talk. Anything you might say might disturb someone's cotton puff. Well, after the first week of finding a bundle of mini-American flags in the gas station--made in China--I could tell that everything was broken. Everything seems to be dead ever since. Proliferation of smart phones finished it.

I wish I knew of an exception. Same places I used to hang out got re-developed as a copy of New Jersey (pretty much literally). The last place I used to live in the country is now being built as a colony for 50,000 people. Just because we can!

In some ways I also blame General Motors for forcing people to buy cars. They ruined the rail system and made something that keeps individuals separated, with the usual intent of: drive to parking lot, enter building, obtain package, leave. This can't be very good can it??

Even so, we used to party by getting up a fleet of cars. I've spent way more time in parking lots having fun than I have ever gone and unloaded cash to the businesses. I haven't seen anything like that, just like I haven't seen kids playing outside, since, I no longer remember.

Most of the jobs force employees to act the way they do. I mostly ever worked for small independent places, which are a little different, but I was forced to experience a year of working for a big name corporation. If I could erase something from existence, it would be that, not just that one, but probably all of them. It really was ultra stupid. Vomitacious. Nevertheless, unlike the weenies that show up and can't work and a bit of labor "just isn't me", I took a bicycle five miles at night in the snow (well, a couple of times). Nevertheless I got written up for: doing the job exactly the way they trained me. That was due to a secret shopper, another form of cockroach crawling around infecting everything they see.

It happened to be acceptable to overdose on eight prescriptions and die at work until the ambulance revives you. That's apparently no target for discipline, you actually get some kind of "help" for it.

Everyone is terrified of lawsuits and insurance dictates most policies.

Unless someone fixes childhood, I suggest they just suspend people in nutrient vats with a breather and some wires plugging education directly into the brain. You're safe and won't start trouble. Shut them in tanks, mission accomplished.

I can understand legitimate child protection; blue laws about a minimum age for sex are really just an attempt to prevent forced child prostitution. France doesn't even have this and it came up recently and they are looking at something like thirteen. There are still people who will shut a child in a closet and toss in some food every few days. Unfortunately, a lot of these are able to get involved with foster care.

Forcing someone to buy an expensive car seat because General Motors nixed public transport and you're afraid the kid "might" go flying through the windshield is not quite as legitimate as forced prostitution or closet-shutting. Sorry, that's a marketing tactic for seats, to go along with some mandatory insurance.

I expect the intention is for us to die off until no one remembers what a human being might be. Not much chance of recovery for someone who's made it into their 30s and never knew.

It won't affect me, aside from the sad grey blank where society should be. They've mostly repelled me away from it without any use of force.

[Arcturian108]

Doug,
Your opening statement is so well written that with just some light editing you could submit it as a poem to the New Yorker magazine. It might even start a whole new conversation in America.
Anyway, I know exactly what you are experiencing, as it led me, a native New Yorker, to spend one-third of my life as an expatriate. As I grew up, I lost the close social fabric I Had experienced in New York City, and I saw that in other parts of America my close friends had very little need to see me on a regular basis. I longed for that lost intimacy. And when I lived abroad I did find cultures where people still led lives of meaningful interaction. In Sydney, Australia, for instance, I remember being amazed when a girlfriend called me to suggest that we meet for breakfast! Up until that point in my life nobody had ever made such a "crazy" suggestion! But this friend invited me out for breakfast several times as we lived within walking distance of each other.
I am back in the States now, but have a good partner and two wonderful animal companions, and glorious natural beauty all around. You would be surprised, but climate has a lot to do with keeping people either communicating or isolated. North Americans, without realizing it, actually live in a very extreme climate - quite unpleasant for most of the year, and with such harsh winters that they are depressed a good deal of the time. These are real issues that take their toll on our bodies and psyches over the years.
If you can afford it, you might think about shaking up your routine a bit by spending three months in a wholly different environment - maybe Hawaii? or Cyprus? or Bali? three places that would surely provide some warmth, and they would have a population that can play in the outdoors most of the year and feel less need to be glued to their smart phones. It is good to go to a place where there are lots of others around who are also new to that environment and wanting to make friends and they just might be tickled to know someone from Hoboken, New Jersey.

[uzn]

Time to move

[Sunny-side-up]

Hi Doug and so well put.

It's the same here and growing fast.

You have to bite your tong or run the risk of them doing it to you.
It's frightening and very upsetting and this rot is spreading.

As uzn said above ' Time to move' if you can, we are trying.
Find those people who are still Human and hold fast to them.

You just have to do what they do and don't engage, don't look into their eye's you won't find much to connect to.
Don't stick your neck out and stay safe.


Alan

[KiwiElf]

It's kinda interesting but also disturbing watching this going down from half a world away.

NZ'rs are being "programmed" by our media 24/7 with anti-Trump narrative. I look at the disgusting Tweets from those opposed to him.

If I said the kind of similar hateful things and threats against our current Prime Minister (and I'll openly admit I'm not a fan nor did I vote for her), I'd probably have a couple of cops on my doorstep tomorrow to arrest me for treason/sedition/inciting violence.

Difficult to keep a

Everything is changing, and I pray, for the better.

[thepainterdoug]

avalon friends each and everyone of you has contributed a dose of therapy for me. I thank you all. just knowing your not alone, that others see it , and are building a way of dealing with it is of some comfort .

shaberon i agree they have killed childhood. so now your an adult at 7 with cell phone and planner in hand, what can one expect going forward from there? where is the" there " to go?

running deer sorry to hear the deaths in your family. regardless of how you got along, its still family .

kiwi elf i totally agree. like him or not, theres a way to go about things. and i don't quite think people understand who his opponent was. does anyone remember ? ,there were only two choices. ill stay with what we have for now.

[Mike]

Hey Doug, you've really hit on something here. But oddly, you may be the first man I've ever heard complaining about leggings, or 'yoga pants'. I've heard quite a few women complain about them, and that's usually for the very simple reason that they don't look good in them. It's funny - boobs have almost been reduced to an afterthought. They're so early 2000's LOL. We're in the age of the ass now, aren't we? It's unavoidable, for better or worse. Think of all those poor women who splurged on boob jobs only to have another trend pass them by right as they achieved their lofty dreams of a sizeable chest.

Trends..in many ways this is what this thread is about.
If I see another man wearing a scarf on a day that doesn't call for it, I'm going to chloroform him and hang him with it. Nothing annoys me more. It's been suggested to me that maybe I'm like the legging-hating woman in this instance; maybe I'm envious because I can't wear scarves or something. I dunno. But I just find them to be an absurd affectation.

These seem like superficial things, but style and mentality generally go hand in hand...

It would be easy to slag this generation and their attitudes, but every generation has their silly bullsh!t piccadillos. It's just that everything seems charming and and quaint in retrospect; we conveniently edit out all the nonsense in the name of nostalgia.

Having said that, Doug hits on a number of good points.

1) tattoos: it's true, some people can pull them off. But that's what you say about certain hollywood actors and actresses when they have to make some sacrifice to their appearance to better portray a certain character...as in "hey Renee Zellwegger really pulled off those few extra pounds in 'Bridgit Jones Diary'. In other words, she doesn't look terrible but she'd look better without them. I hadn't seen many tattoos till I moved to southern Cal when I was 27, and then I was practically bludgeoned with them. My very simplistic theory on this is that I think people feel it makes them appear interesting or nuanced or eccentric or whatever. In other words, they're trying to get the credit for being all these things without actually putting in any effort. In my experience, the more tattos someone has, the lamer they are. Not in every instance of course, but most. As Doug points out, things like creativity, humor, wit, an ability to articulate etc are all sorely lacking in a generation of people who don't read books or speak to each other and communicate mainly with poorly spelled texts or tweets consisting of 50 characters or less (God Orwell called it, didn't he?)...and so they're trying to be expressive in a lazy way

But yes, the homogeneity is staggering. Back then, in southern Cal, all the guys had tats and had an obsession with black 3 quarter length socks and black t shirts and black straight brim hats and black sunglasses. It was always some mindless, fresh-off-the-conveyor-belt adaptation of Jesse James. The girls all looked like a cross between Betty Boop and a waitress that might have worked at a Greasy Joe Cafe in the 60's. It was bizarre.

These days, it's hip for the guys to have tightly faded sides and a severe part in their hair and a well groomed beard. But below that it's endless tattoos and text laden t shirts and jeans and black boots or something. They look like business executives from the neck up and ex cons from the neck down. And some of them look pretty damn cool...it's just that everyone looks exactly the same...

For the girls it's yoga pants and, oddly, about 40 strappy shirts at the same time.

...and no matter what everyone is wearing, they all have their heads in a cell phone.

So anyway, this all discourages individuality..and thus creativity and art and so forth. And the only way to touch the other worlds, the heavens, or whatever...the only way for a human being to be transcendent or to hang out with the gods is to be creative, to be an individual, to create some kind of art. And this is being discouraged in all sorts of ways, big and small

[bobme]

If I may, another trend is the skinny mustach, skinny side burns, forming a beard at the chin, topped off with a spot of hair above the chin.

Its every where you look. Just like tatooes.

My observation only.