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Thread: I Am The TRUE Satan - Any Questions? (An Interview With Satan)

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    United States Avalon Member Mike's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Am The TRUE Satan - Any Questions? (An Interview With Satan)

    Quote Posted by Cerridwen (here)
    Quote Posted by Mike (here)
    Quote Ahhhh ... Satan, how I've missed you. A mutual dark and fallen angel friend of ours whispered rumors of your sighting here in Avalon to me this morning, and I decided to have a look myself.

    You always did know how to make a woman smile. Keep up the good work,

    Firstly, it is lovely to see you here. I knew something was up when all the vials of blood in my fridge began spitting and frothing. And then there were the 3rd eye visions of a world travelling, sequined top and bottom wearing belly dancer...and I only know one person who fits the profile. Have you arrived to help me do battle, fair maiden? Or are you merely teasing me with a token appearance? Either way, Satan is honored.

    I really only do things to make women smile. Even now, 15 billion years old and a fully grown demon, I live only to show off for female humans. I have not come a very long way.

    This fallen angel you speak of....does he favor black clothing and dull earth tones? Is he at least 15% gay? Bizarre obsession with Freddie Mercury and David Bowie? Aristocratic nose and a charming dignity? Very witty fellow, is he? Known to throw a tantrum from to time? Am I hot or cold?
    You know me, I come and go as the North Wind blows. I will assist you in battle if it pleases me, but I also love a good tease, so time will tell.

    Oh Dark One, we both know that you are always HOT. But yes, that is the very same fallen angel that I speak of, except I believe the gay percentage it closer to 12.5%

    Yes, i've since spoken to said fallen angel, and he insists it's 12.5%. But he was listening to Abba as he was declaring this, so I find that statement dubious.

    As I was reading your post, I was certain you were going to write, I will assist you in battle if it pleases "you." You left me off-balance and full of admiration with the "me"..

    ..with all these demons kissing my ass for so long I almost forgot what it was like to have someone consider themselves first. It was charming..but don't get too carried away.

    touche, princess.

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    United States Avalon Member Mike's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Am The TRUE Satan - Any Questions? (An Interview With Satan)

    Quote Posted by Carmody (here)
    Stop it Mike, yer killin' me.

    Where does this all come from? Obvious, to me. Mike is now post 'Pluto square'* and seemingly ruminating on something that is fading.. but he can still feel and taste it.


    *Where firing on all cylinders at maximum breakdown rpm 24/7.... for a ~+1.5 year long time.... is the minimum sentence. You get good or you get broken. Either will do and sometimes you get both. Maximum phoenix burn down the house stuff. Next up: Uranus opposition. (everybody gets these things, these are outer planet alignments that take place in a given human lifetime)

    So, are you like the storm, or sumpthin?


    not sure why you folks insist on calling me Mike. why I outta...mumble mumble.

    the stars do not dictate to me, i dictate to them. oh i feel their influence from time to time, but it's nothing more than a small nuisance...like trying to flick a booger off your thumb and having it get stuck on your middle finger, then back to your thumb, then your middle finger...

    The more broken i become, the good'er I get.

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  5. Link to Post #83
    United States Avalon Member Mike's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Am The TRUE Satan - Any Questions? (An Interview With Satan)

    Quote Posted by Antagenet (here)
    Merry Christmas Satan, I hope you are feeling mighty terrible today, since I know you enjoy that so much.

    The last time I saw you was at my fathers deathbed, well technically I didn't see you, but from the look
    on my fathers face, I know he did. You must be GodAwful Ugly. I hope you are keeping him happy there in Hell
    so he doesn't escape.

    Some of the other sociopaths in my family are getting on in years. I just want to make sure you have their
    number, address and current status. Don't bother contacting me as I am and have always been completely
    unavailable to you.

    Let me be clear, I am not making a deal with you. Just a suggestion.
    Sociopaths make delicious kindling.

    well i'm merely an expression of energy, like everything else. as i descend dimensions, my ideas about myself and the ideas of others, about me, sort of mold me into a humanoid form. And when i reach what you would call the 3rd dimension, it's the observing individual's imagination that fills in the blanks. I appear differently to everybody.

    people i touch and influence are often called sociopaths. sigh. Some of the predominant expressions of this are glibness and superficial charm, which i clearly have in spades.

    Listen up because this is important: the average person doesn't dislike the average sociopath because of his glibness and superficial charm, they dislike the sociopath because he's so good at deploying it. it's a form of jealousy.

    Everyone you meet is lying constantly, including you. Lies make the world go 'round. Glib charmers have adapted brilliantly to this, that's all.

    As the kids say: don't hate the player, hate the game

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  7. Link to Post #84
    United States Avalon Member Mike's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Am The TRUE Satan - Any Questions? (An Interview With Satan)

    Quote Posted by Orph (here)
    In my last life, I was cooking in front of an old cast iron stove. You know, the kind you have to keep a fire going. Well, being the manly-man that I was, ........... I farted. I don't need to tell you that everything went up in a huge ball of fire. Oh, I'm telling you, it was a sight to see. Yup. I died in a big flaming inferno.

    So naturally I thought to myself, "WOW. This ought to solidify my place in Hell for sure"! But nooooooooooooooo. Here I am again, back on planet Earth. So what-the-hell does it take for a person to get into Hell anyway?

    Hell is not a place, it's a state of mind.
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    Ah, just joking. I always wanted to know what it would feel like to say that. I even crossed my arms and smiled smugly afterwards, but there was no one there to witness it. drats.

    Farts like that suggest testosterone and virility. I bet you have a really hairy back. Shave it. that's step 1. See me after and we'll start on the diabolical stuff.
    Last edited by Mike; 27th December 2018 at 01:13.

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    United States Avalon Member Cerridwen's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Am The TRUE Satan - Any Questions? (An Interview With Satan)

    Quote Posted by Mike (here)
    Quote Posted by Cerridwen (here)
    Quote Posted by Mike (here)
    Quote Ahhhh ... Satan, how I've missed you. A mutual dark and fallen angel friend of ours whispered rumors of your sighting here in Avalon to me this morning, and I decided to have a look myself.

    You always did know how to make a woman smile. Keep up the good work,

    Firstly, it is lovely to see you here. I knew something was up when all the vials of blood in my fridge began spitting and frothing. And then there were the 3rd eye visions of a world travelling, sequined top and bottom wearing belly dancer...and I only know one person who fits the profile. Have you arrived to help me do battle, fair maiden? Or are you merely teasing me with a token appearance? Either way, Satan is honored.

    I really only do things to make women smile. Even now, 15 billion years old and a fully grown demon, I live only to show off for female humans. I have not come a very long way.

    This fallen angel you speak of....does he favor black clothing and dull earth tones? Is he at least 15% gay? Bizarre obsession with Freddie Mercury and David Bowie? Aristocratic nose and a charming dignity? Very witty fellow, is he? Known to throw a tantrum from to time? Am I hot or cold?
    You know me, I come and go as the North Wind blows. I will assist you in battle if it pleases me, but I also love a good tease, so time will tell.

    Oh Dark One, we both know that you are always HOT. But yes, that is the very same fallen angel that I speak of, except I believe the gay percentage it closer to 12.5%

    Yes, i've since spoken to said fallen angel, and he insists it's 12.5%. But he was listening to Abba as he was declaring this, so I find that statement dubious.

    As I was reading your post, I was certain you were going to write, I will assist you in battle if it pleases "you." You left me off-balance and full of admiration with the "me"..

    ..with all these demons kissing my ass for so long I almost forgot what it was like to have someone consider themselves first. It was charming..but don't get too carried away.

    touche, princess.
    Princess Cerridwen, I like the sound of that. 👸🏻

    I forgot about his Abba collection. You might be correct with that 15% after all.

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    Default Re: I Am The TRUE Satan - Any Questions? (An Interview With Satan)

    Geez... I do not know of the Christ thread, that some say is the antithesis of this one, but no doubt the real Christ would love, would have loved, is loving, will love, this thread.

    And yes, before I finished reading the first paragraph, and without even reading anything further, I wanted to Thank every single post, seeing the value of the discussion and knowing that many here would make this a very lively, funny and insightful journey. I have never done that here or even thought of doing that, anywhere. Reading further on, I was right in feeling that I'd love it. Bill Hicks, George and Groucho would all be open to doing some serious road gigs with you.

    Chilling on my birthday, not really one to treat one day of living like any other, as if words and assumptions and norms define anyone and as if I didn't value the life for each awesome day it really is....I thank the days for the likes of Avalon.

    I wondered onto Avalon to consort with the cool ones, part of the family that I choose amongst those who inhabit the conscious realms....having had years between the living constant of now and the past stagnant listening to the many biological brothers and sisters wishing empty wishes and speaking no truths of purpose and insight.

    The incarnate evil one is very nervous around me anyway....for good reason. I'm not part of the play.
    Last edited by Hym; 27th December 2018 at 04:47.

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    Default Re: I Am The TRUE Satan - Any Questions? (An Interview With Satan)

    Quote Posted by Hym (here)
    Geez... I do not know of the Christ thread, that some say is the antithesis of this one, but no doubt the real Christ would love, would have loved, is loving, will love, this thread.

    And yes, before I finished reading the first paragraph, and without even reading anything further, I wanted to Thank every single post, seeing the value of the discussion and knowing that many here would make this a very lively, funny and insightful journey. I have never done that here or even thought of doing that, anywhere. Reading further on, I was right in feeling that I'd love it. Bill Hicks, George and Groucho would all be open to doing some serious road gigs with you.

    Chilling on my birthday, not really one to treat one day of living like any other, as if words and assumptions and norms define anyone and as if I didn't value the life for each awesome day it really is....I thank the days for the likes of Avalon.

    I wondered onto Avalon to consort with the cool ones, part of the family that I choose amongst those who inhabit the conscious realms....having had years between the living constant of now and the past stagnant listening to the many biological brothers and sisters wishing empty wishes and speaking no truths of purpose and insight.

    The incarnate evil one is very nervous around me anyway....for good reason. I'm not part of the play.


    happy belated birthday friend, and lovely post.

    what did you do on your birthday? any good gifts?

    well, many happy returns.

    (my manager tells me i need to be more relatable. was that good? it felt relatable to me)

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    Default Re: I Am The TRUE Satan - Any Questions? (An Interview With Satan)

    Say-tawn,( the formal name in transliteration from another well known tribe ) or Satan, or You who be Saint'n.... :

    You might, or might not, allow Mike to jump in now as you may find the message a bit much, something that even your manager would consider way too relatable.

    Thanks, Mikey. Didn't do much different on my birthday, kinda like I said in the post. I did cut more firewood, insulated some areas in the water heater room, played in the snow with our dog, fell on my ass play fighting with him-house shoes on snow-slippery, jumped on the trampoline, wrote a little, cleaned up a little, played the guitar, sang some songs, consoled and cajoled a holiday-depressed friend, talked with my son on his travels. A fun, funny and normal day for me.

    The only gift was a handwritten card my son left for me on a piece of typing paper like I do for him, with some drawings on it. Very cool letter. Cool drawings.

    As during the years we give things to each other when the opportunity arrises, it doesn't make much sense to just light up any single day. It always is more genuine and from the heart when there are no boundaries or the exclusion of days not celebrated, days that should be celebrated. I did the same with his mother when she was living, even though I would find her or make her something special on her birthday as well.

    The gifts I do receive always seem to be insights, like this quite "lovely" thread you are inhabiting, my friend.
    Last edited by Hym; 28th December 2018 at 12:09.

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    Default Re: I Am The TRUE Satan - Any Questions? (An Interview With Satan)

    Well that was unnecessary Hym. I was only pretending to be interested.

    But thanks for playin.

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    Default Re: I Am The TRUE Satan - Any Questions? (An Interview With Satan)

    I am waxing reminiscent for old days of Through the Looking Glass, though of course, one critical player from that land is still missing here, and is unlikely to make a comeback, unfortunately.
    (If sentimentality is a sin, them I am surely bound for Satan's playground, but I see I will be in good company.)
    This thread is far too amusingly dark for the likes of Mary Poppinsish me, and so I will likely remain an admiring onlooker, but a very grateful one for taking on some of the hypocrisy, envy, and sheer sour grapes that attempt to poison the Avalon springs from time to time.
    To them I say
    But to Satan/Mike and his cohorts, a hearty and sincere
    Last edited by onawah; 31st December 2018 at 21:29.
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    United States Avalon Member Mike's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Am The TRUE Satan - Any Questions? (An Interview With Satan)

    Quote Posted by onawah (here)
    I am waxing reminiscent for old days of Through the Looking Glass, though of course, one critical player from that land is still missing here, and is unlikely to make a comeback, unfortunately.
    (If sentimentality is a sin, them I am surely bound for Satan's playground, but I see I will be in good company.)
    This thread is far too amusingly dark for the likes of Mary Poppinish me, and so I will likely remain an admiring bystander, but a very grateful one for taking on some of the hypocrisy, envy, and sheer sour grapes that attempt to poison the Avalon springs from time to time.
    To them I say
    But to Satan/Mike and his cohorts, a hearty and sincere


    Hi Nat, Mike here. I'm just reading this thread for the first time too. I went down for what felt like a 5 minute nap one day, and about a week went by. "Missing time" I think they call it. Anyway, I lost 13 pounds and look a day older.

    This thread was written during that time. But it appears Satan has left me alone, for now.

    Of all the time I could have gotten possessed by Satan, it had to be the during the time Christ was here. That hardly seems fair. I have so many questions.

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    Default Re: I Am The TRUE Satan - Any Questions? (An Interview With Satan)

    You may have to move this thread to one of the Abduction forums.
    And to do your experience justice, it looks like we are going to need an emoji that's the opposite of


    BTW, re the following ...what may appear to the unenlightened as hedonism, when practiced consciously, devotedly and with finesse, is legitimate spiritual practice known as Tantra.
    :
    Quote "Hedonists can also make the best soldiers. To some, war is the party, and plunging a bayonet into an enemy's abdomen the addictive drug.

    Pleasure seeking is also the quickest way of conquering pleasure seeking. Denying one's vices, be they drink, drugs, sex, only shifts the mental obsession; all you've done now is become obsessed with not doing these things as opposed to being obsessed with doing them. The pathology still remains...despite your burnt-orange robe and beggars bowl and buzz cut and manufactured malnourishment.

    Ever tried reading the bible with an erection? Best to go sniff coke off stripper's tits for a year or 3, and get it out of your system, organically. Play with your toys until you are good and sick of them, and then move on. At the very least you'll spare yourself the embarrassing announcement to family and friends that your 2 week conversion to buddhism was a failure. No one likes embarrassment and no one likes a failure.

    What if this "organic" process ends the life of the experimenter? I get that annoying question all the time, and to that i say this: when viewed against eternity, it's not a tragedy. This hypothetical man or woman has not "wasted their life", they have sacrificed it nobly to exhaust an addiction or 2. Their next life will no longer include those nuisances."
    Last edited by Mike; 31st December 2018 at 21:56.
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    Default Re: I Am The TRUE Satan - Any Questions? (An Interview With Satan)

    Just saw this thread today. I actually seriously thought of doing this as well, as a satire, not just to the referenced thread specifically, but I was going to water it down as a "tribute" to all the threads that have ever started in the same manner so as to not have it appear targeted. I see you threw that caution into the wind. Made me chuckle.
    When you are one step ahead of the crowd, you are a genius.
    Two steps ahead, and you are deemed a crackpot.

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    Default Re: I Am The TRUE Satan - Any Questions? (An Interview With Satan)

    No watering down, please!
    And no vacations are allowed in Hell, I believe, not even for the originator of this thread, whose wit is too good to allow to go to waste.
    Especially on a forum where we have to deal with so much hellish stuff, we NEED to develop a devilish sense of humor.
    Quote Posted by DeDukshyn (here)
    Just saw this thread today. I actually seriously thought of doing this as well, as a satire, not just to the referenced thread specifically, but I was going to water it down as a "tribute" to all the threads that have ever started in the same manner so as to not have it appear targeted. I see you threw that caution into the wind. Made me chuckle.
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    Default Re: I Am The TRUE Satan - Any Questions? (An Interview With Satan)

    Quote Posted by onawah (here)
    No watering down, please!
    And no vacations are allowed in Hell, I believe, not even for the originator of this thread, whose wit is too good to allow to go to waste.
    Especially on a forum where we have to deal with so much hellish stuff, we NEED to develop a devilish sense of humor.
    Quote Posted by DeDukshyn (here)
    Just saw this thread today. I actually seriously thought of doing this as well, as a satire, not just to the referenced thread specifically, but I was going to water it down as a "tribute" to all the threads that have ever started in the same manner so as to not have it appear targeted. I see you threw that caution into the wind. Made me chuckle.
    I have a feeling your comment above wasn't just in reference to my comment on this thread or this thread specifically ...
    When you are one step ahead of the crowd, you are a genius.
    Two steps ahead, and you are deemed a crackpot.

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    Default Re: I Am The TRUE Satan - Any Questions? (An Interview With Satan)

    You might be right
    And you have to admit, watering something down in Hell is just going to create a lot of sulphurous steam, not to mention dilute the fire which is so useful in burning away the dross, of which we have no lack (present company excepted).
    Quote Posted by DeDukshyn (here)
    Quote Posted by onawah (here)
    No watering down, please!
    And no vacations are allowed in Hell, I believe, not even for the originator of this thread, whose wit is too good to allow to go to waste.
    Especially on a forum where we have to deal with so much hellish stuff, we NEED to develop a devilish sense of humor.
    Quote Posted by DeDukshyn (here)
    Just saw this thread today. I actually seriously thought of doing this as well, as a satire, not just to the referenced thread specifically, but I was going to water it down as a "tribute" to all the threads that have ever started in the same manner so as to not have it appear targeted. I see you threw that caution into the wind. Made me chuckle.
    I have a feeling your comment above wasn't just in reference to my comment on this thread or this thread specifically ...
    Remember...
    Last edited by onawah; 17th January 2019 at 00:01.
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    Default Re: I Am The TRUE Satan - Any Questions? (An Interview With Satan)


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    Default Re: I Am The TRUE Satan - Any Questions? (An Interview With Satan)

    Quote Posted by Gemma13 (here)
    Quote Posted by Orph (here)
    So what-the-hell does it take for a person to get into Hell anyway?
    Oooh Satan, that’s a goodie – should have you drooling awhile over all the instructions and examples you can seduce us with.
    Sorry S or Marduk I presume, if I may answer that... Deceived.... This IS Hell....Welcome to the jungle friends ;-)
    Short Term memory infected/defect. Watching, feeling and recording since i recall. Recording for some one/thing else !
    I care about the earth, and despise greed.

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    Canada Avalon Member DeDukshyn's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Am The TRUE Satan - Any Questions? (An Interview With Satan)

    When you are one step ahead of the crowd, you are a genius.
    Two steps ahead, and you are deemed a crackpot.

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    Canada Avalon Member
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    Default Re: I Am The TRUE Satan - Any Questions? (An Interview With Satan)

    Quote Posted by Mike (here)
    Passive aggressive? And here i thought I was just being aggressive.
    Since when did you get so funny?! ;-)

    What have you done with Mike? Give him back.

  40. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to petra For This Post:

    lake (17th January 2019), onawah (18th January 2019)

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