It's NOT About The Nail (or, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus)

[onawah]

It's a big subject, and Mike (whose thread this is, so he gets to steer it) expanded upon the basic issue with his description of the woman he was in a relationship with.

I'm having a similar experience with my Divine Feminine thread--male/female issues are complicated!

I agree with DeDukshyn, she has some narcissistic traits, and Mike is empathic, which gets into yet another topic!

Posted by Mike (here)
But the woman I described in my last post wasnt a dummy; she was pretty smart. She was kind of distorted emotionally, that was the thing. And always "playing the victim". Sometimes it was simply impossible to reach her in any kind of rational way.

This isn't some kind of woman bashing thing either, just to be clear. I've been blessed with so many cool and wonderful women friends and romantic partners. Most of my friends on the forum are women; I prefer women doctors and dentists; socially, i prefer women to men most of the time. I'm not entirely sure why, but I do.

But, although women are very distinct and unique in many ways, they're also alike in others. The video does illustrate a slightly exaggerated version of a common thread I see amongst women. You know something like that is true when you immediately laugh without thinking...its an indicator of something universal.

Posted by 5th (here)
Interesting to see the reactions this has provoked. The point of the video is that men and women's brains DO work in different ways and this has nothing to do with IQ, EQ or age!

Men talk in order to solve problems and women talk in order to comfort themselves through social connection. Neither is 'right' or 'wrong' and it's a generalisation. So naturally the man thinks she wants a solution to her problems and naturally the women thinks he is not listening properly...

[ripple]

Posted by DeDukshyn (here)

I have an interesting relationship with my emotions that make me often come across as emotionally numb or uncaring, but that's just how it comes across due to my relationship with my emotions. I am actually extremely emotional and can often be brought to tears by simple things or even for no reason at all. However, I keep my emotion stream 100% separate from my "functioning and logic" stream - except to cross reference for a potentially larger view of a situation. So I could be called "numb to emotion" - but closer to reality is I don't want to enable weakness in myself by conflating emotions and emotional reactions with logic, will to get things done, and will to making things better. I don't want to enable that in others either. That said, I did have to do a fair bit of inner work to get to that point, which I feel is best for me, and I still come across as emotionally numb.

re: "girlfriend seems to have control issues" - correct to an extreme level. She had many narcissistic traits.

To add: Interestingly, when I come across a woman that I find or assume is equally or more intelligent than me, I get instantly turned on. I have had plenty enough of unintelligent women, and I don't like it much ...

Many of attractive women seem to come in go at my place of work, I only ever get genuinely excited about the ones I deem highly intelligent.

Maybe I'm a weirdo ...

No weirdo .
Your stance and / or condition is the pragmatic one for a sensible and questioning male who is not frightened to stand by considered judgements . imho .

[Morbid]

i used to work with this jamaican dude years ago. he would be getting laid by different women almost daily. he's not sure how many kids he've got from whom. changed his mobile numbers quite frequently, so you get the idea.. his secret? as we did project together he would always have inear bluetooth speaker on, occasionally replying with "aha", "i hear you", "you're right", "ya man" etc. so spending several hours a day tolerating background noise would award him with a guaranteed session. part of me kind of admired him..

[A Voice from the Mountains]

Posted by Flash (here)
the question would be to ask WHY MEN PREFER STUPID WOMEN?

When the popular culture becomes saturated with 3rd wave feminism and everything becoming about personal anecdotes and feelings (ie estrogen) rather than logic and reasoning, we don't have as much of a choice as you might think.

Posted by Morbid (here)
i used to work with this jamaican dude years ago. he would be getting laid by different women almost daily. he's not sure how many kids he've got from whom. changed his mobile numbers quite frequently, so you get the idea.. his secret? as we did project together he would always have inear bluetooth speaker on, occasionally replying with "aha", "i hear you", "you're right", "ya man" etc. so spending several hours a day tolerating background noise would award him with a guaranteed session. part of me kind of admired him..

And the army of fatherless children he leaves behind will certainly be a boon for society.





Even Obama acknowledged it:

The absence of fathers is important, Obama continued, because "children who grow up without a father are five times more likely to live in poverty and commit crime; nine times more likely to drop out of schools and 20 times more likely to end up in prison."

https://www.politifact.com/truth-o-m...-in-this-case/

Men set boundaries. Women coddle and make excuses for their children. Sorry in advance if the above data isn't based on feelings.

I was going to try to find some way to virtue signal about all the brave and courageous qualities of the "divine feminine," but since cult leader Obama says it's okay to talk about these problems, I'll just skip the formalities.

[DeDukshyn]

Posted by Morbid (here)
i used to work with this jamaican dude years ago. he would be getting laid by different women almost daily. he's not sure how many kids he've got from whom. changed his mobile numbers quite frequently, so you get the idea.. his secret? as we did project together he would always have inear bluetooth speaker on, occasionally replying with "aha", "i hear you", "you're right", "ya man" etc. so spending several hours a day tolerating background noise would award him with a guaranteed session. part of me kind of admired him..

I know I could easily woo women by catering to their emotional feelings by simply doing those sorts of things, which would be being dishonest with myself on some level. I would consider that manipulation and 'easy' though ... I personally would feel little reward in getting laid that way -- too easy, and many of the women who would fall for that would do so simply because they are emotionally weak - I'm not into weak women.

Needless to say I don't get laid much, because I'm unwilling to do those sorts of things ... Cest la vie ...

[A Voice from the Mountains]

Posted by DeDukshyn (here)
It was incredibly painful to see her in this state and I literally was never allowed to try to help her. Nothing but very bad things happened no matter how loving I approached her. She was NOT going to be told "how to live her life!" - When all I wanted to do was explain how easy it was to solve her suffering.

I've experienced the same thing. Most men probably have, including the ones responding here, from the looks of it. Men wanting to date modern women almost have to be therapists, which is unhealthy for everyone involved and a burden no man should have to carry.

I believe the reason that modern women de-legitimize the man's instinct to try to find a practical solution to everyday problems is that they've been conditioned by feminist society into seeing men as tyrannical and oppressive by default, and so they have very low respect for what men have to offer to begin with. They probably had problems with their own fathers, experienced parental divorce, or maybe were raised by single moms. Too many women obsess over the "divine feminine" without having the slightest clue of what qualities are supposed to counter-balance femininity. Too often they even have open contempt for anything masculine, and some are going so far as to call masculinity a mental disorder now. And it's pure projection.

This is what happens when feelings take precedence over cold, hard reasoning in society.

[Flash]

Posted by A Voice from the Mountains (here)

Posted by DeDukshyn (here)
It was incredibly painful to see her in this state and I literally was never allowed to try to help her. Nothing but very bad things happened no matter how loving I approached her. She was NOT going to be told "how to live her life!" - When all I wanted to do was explain how easy it was to solve her suffering.

I've experienced the same thing. Most men probably have, including the ones responding here, from the looks of it. Men wanting to date modern women almost have to be therapists, which is unhealthy for everyone involved and a burden no man should have to carry.

I believe the reason that modern women de-legitimize the man's instinct to try to find a practical solution to everyday problems is that they've been conditioned by feminist society into seeing men as tyrannical and oppressive by default, and so they have very low respect for what men have to offer to begin with. They probably had problems with their own fathers, experienced parental divorce, or maybe were raised by single moms. Too many women obsess over the "divine feminine" without having the slightest clue of what qualities are supposed to counter-balance femininity. Too often they even have open contempt for anything masculine, and some are going so far as to call masculinity a mental disorder now. And it's pure projection.

This is what happens when feelings take precedence over cold, hard reasoning in society.

Oh please, avoid what you usually do

the pop psychology about women - and their fathers - you are plainly not qualified
north american women being not feminine, but Brazilian or Philipinos are - total despise toward us (seen from you in other threads as well)
that we have contempt for men!!!! up to now, I have always seen you having contempt toward north American women

I sincerely have enough of women blasting

We may have been men blasting for one century, but men have been women blasting and more for milleniums, and I have enough of this stupidity

If you cannot handle intelligent women, because what I see here is sheer projection (you want pop psychology, here it is, but at least Ihave the degrees to support it)

You are soo dry and not funny and not intelligent, emotionally or intelligence base when it regards women that I wonder how come a guy like this could go through the North American world and remain so close minded like this.

And do not answer me, I am writing for everyone else here, not you.

Oh: i will add this: everytime this guy is on a thread regarding women or men-women relationship, the thread become insipid crap with gluiey sugary comments. Unbearable, it take of all the taste I have to write in those thread.

But WOMEN HAVE SHUT UP FOR MILLENIAS AND I WON'T PURSUE IN THIS MANNER

Up to now, I was just stopping to participate in these thread, but no more, This behavior has to be addressed.

[AutumnW]

Posted by onawah (here)
Yes, I see that too about our current culture, Autumn.
It's got to be very confusing because the old paradigm of suppression is still closely underpinning the new one.
There are strong cross currents and mixed messages for both genders, but I think men are even more confused than women.

But in the Masters and Johnson studies they actually found that a lot of women's libidos get stronger as they age.
The urge for romance is probably stronger in younger women, but apparently in a lot of older women, the sexual urge gets stronger.
Which may help explain the current "cougar" trend (along with hormonal therapy).

Posted by AutumnW (here)
Onawah,

The current culture is encouraging men to bury their masculinity and forcing them to emote when their natural tendency is to react in a less emotional manner. Also men are attracted to younger women because they are generally more sexually active, pre-menopause. Granted it can involve ego too but primarily it has more to do with a basic urge to merge.

I think the irrational anger that many women are expressing now comes from the collective unconscious, and has to do with very old patterns of patriarchal abuse that women have had to endure for thousands of years on this planet.
Even though things have improved in many ways in Western cultures, the fact is that in much of the world, simply being female is still a very unsafe and misery-producing proposition, in some places even more so than in the past.

Even if we are not being exposed to that directly, it can still weigh on us unconsciously.
And there are surprising, seemingly anomalous factors in the statistics, such as the one stating that the US is #10 on the list of countries in the world that are most dangerous for women!
So much is not the way it seems on the surface, and that has to be causing a huge amount of confusion, even if all most see is the tip of the iceberg, because we respond to so much that we are not at all consciously aware of.
See:https://projectavalon.net/forum4/show...=1#post1269187

Onawah,

I think you hit the nail on the head here! There are so many undercurrents, contradictions. Also, we all spend more time in a virtual, non tactile space now and that has large scale ramifications for society. The gender "battle" can't be understood apart from this greater technological revolution.

[Flash]

Posted by DeDukshyn (here)

Posted by Morbid (here)
i used to work with this jamaican dude years ago. he would be getting laid by different women almost daily. he's not sure how many kids he've got from whom. changed his mobile numbers quite frequently, so you get the idea.. his secret? as we did project together he would always have inear bluetooth speaker on, occasionally replying with "aha", "i hear you", "you're right", "ya man" etc. so spending several hours a day tolerating background noise would award him with a guaranteed session. part of me kind of admired him..

I know I could easily woo women by catering to their emotional feelings by simply doing those sorts of things, which would be being dishonest with myself on some level. I would consider that manipulation and 'easy' though ... I personally would feel little reward in getting laid that way -- too easy, and many of the women who would fall for that would do so simply because they are emotionally weak - I'm not into weak women.

Needless to say I don't get laid much, because I'm unwilling to do those sorts of things ... Cest la vie ...

I agree with you here, and imo for stronger more balanced women. Word for word agree Dedukshyn

[onawah]

Go for it, Flash, if you have the energy!
It takes a lot of it to be a good, strong Mom to dysfunctional men, and that is usually what they are looking for, whether they admit to it or not.
Though on Avalon, I have taken the easy way out and expanded my Ignore list.
If it gets to be too nauseating, you can always give yourself a break and take that option too.
Being ignored can sometimes be the best deterrent, though at other times we have to if only to stay in balance ourselves.

Does it ever occur to men that women are furious that we, the children and "All Our Relations" have had to live in the world that men have created with their wars and technology and "progress", and until recently, have had very little say, especially in how to caretake this planet, the Mother of us all?

It's certainly time for a redressing in the balance of power, if it means women having more say in these matters and men are just going to have to bear it until we have had enough time to release the fury, which goes very deep.

(And I don't mean women like Thatcher or Hillary or Merkel.)

Unless of course, they want to return to the old ways of the patriarchy, which it's clear a lot of them would prefer.

Real change doesn't come easily.

Posted by Flash (here)

Posted by A Voice from the Mountains (here)
I've experienced the same thing. Most men probably have, including the ones responding here, from the looks of it. Men wanting to date modern women almost have to be therapists, which is unhealthy for everyone involved and a burden no man should have to carry.

I believe the reason that modern women de-legitimize the man's instinct to try to find a practical solution to everyday problems is that they've been conditioned by feminist society into seeing men as tyrannical and oppressive by default, and so they have very low respect for what men have to offer to begin with. They probably had problems with their own fathers, experienced parental divorce, or maybe were raised by single moms. Too many women obsess over the "divine feminine" without having the slightest clue of what qualities are supposed to counter-balance femininity. Too often they even have open contempt for anything masculine, and some are going so far as to call masculinity a mental disorder now. And it's pure projection.

This is what happens when feelings take precedence over cold, hard reasoning in society.

Oh please, avoid what you usually do

the pop psychology about women - and their fathers - you are plainly not qualified
north american women being not feminine, but Brazilian or Philipinos are - total despise toward us (seen from you in other threads as well)
that we have contempt for men!!!! up to now, I have always seen you having contempt toward north American women

I sincerely have enough of women blasting

We may have been men blasting for one century, but men have been women blasting and more for milleniums, and I have enough of this stupidity

If you cannot handle intelligent women, because what I see here is sheer projection (you want pop psychology, here it is, but at least Ihave the degrees to support it)

You are soo dry and not funny and not intelligent, emotionally or intelligence base when it regards women that I wonder how come a guy like this could go through the North American world and remain so close minded like this.

And do not answer me, I am writing for everyone else here, not you.

Oh: i will add this: everytime this guy is on a thread regarding women or men-women relationship, the thread become insipid crap with gluiey sugary comments. Unbearable, it take of all the taste I have to write in those thread.

But WOMEN HAVE SHUT UP FOR MILLENIAS AND I WON'T PURSUE IN THIS MANNER

Up to now, I was just stopping to participate in these thread, but no more, This behavior has to be addressed.

Posted by AutumnW (here)
Onawah,
I think you hit the nail on the head here! There are so many undercurrents, contradictions. Also, we all spend more time in a virtual, non tactile space now and that has large scale ramifications for society. The gender "battle" can't be understood apart from this greater technological revolution.

Very true, Autumn. Women, children, animals, the natural world have been considered to be just so much 'collateral damage" when it comes to their technological exploitation of the natural world, and now the worst of them just can't wait until they can completely mind control everyone as well.

Women, being so much more in touch with Nature, and so much more vulnerable, like children and animals, to what is toxic and out of balance with Nature, are the first to suffer and therefore women must also be the ones to speak out on behalf of all that is vulnerable and worthy of protection instead of exploitation.

If many women are unable to express themselves well, it should hardly come as any surprise considering how long we have been bullied into keeping quiet.

The role of Divine Masculine is to protect, not to exploit. If that is not functional, all else will be dysfunctional as well...It's not their fault, if you consider that the covert rulers of this planet for thousands of years are not even human, but they still have to take responsibility for what should be.

[AutumnW]

Posted by onawah (here)
My experience is that guys really like to have intelligent women for friends to get some intellectual stimulation, or so they can pick their brains and get a sort of uptick by association to their own reputations as smart guys,
But when it comes to romance or sex, they prefer a woman who will help bolster their egos at least some of the time, and especially if she's younger and pretty.
And I hate to make such a cliche statement, but I think it's still true, unfortunately.
We still have a long way to go before recovering from this kind of programming.
And it's going to take women awhile to figure out what their new roles are going to be, too, and how to make the dynamic a healthy one.

The issue may be more about basic attractiveness and persona than IQ. People who define themselves as highly intelligent, or place too much emphasis on their own version of intelligence can be sexually off-putting. Male nerds are notoriously unappealing. They aren't fully dimensional beings. There are female Nerds too. They may falsely assume it is their intelligence that puts men off but there is much more going on there.

[AutumnW]

Posted by lunaflare (here)
Hah, a good video to incite some varied male/female responses!

Regarding the premise, nay, I didn't find this to be true at all.
The majority of women are practical and solution focused--this is why they are mothers ; yep the gender that gives birth and is biologically wired to sustain new life. And that's not all--they can also be intuitive, sensitive and compassionate.

When given the opportunity of education, girls perform better than boys. In all subjects

https://www.educationworld.com/a_new...chool-subjects

One last point, women would never allow their sweaters to be snagged, by the way. They would really start to look for the cause in a serious way. A snagged sweater is unwearable and this is wasteful and not practical when one is managing a budget....

The modern form of sexism pushes the view that women outperform men in all subjects -- given equal opportunity. I'm with Jordan Peterson on this one. This is untrue, unfair and is more about payback than honesty.

[AutumnW]

Posted by onawah (here)
Go for it, Flash, if you have the energy!
It takes a lot of it to be a good, strong Mom to dysfunctional men, and that is usually what they are looking for, whether they admit to it or not.
Though on Avalon, I have taken the easy way out and expanded my Ignore list.
If it gets to be too nauseating, you can always give yourself a break and take that option too.
Being ignored can sometimes be the best deterrent, though at other times we have to if only to stay in balance ourselves.

Does it ever occur to men that women are furious that we, the children and "All Our Relations" have had to live in the world that men have created with their wars and technology and "progress", and until recently, have had very little say, especially in how to caretake this planet, the Mother of us all?

It's certainly time for a redressing in the balance of power, if it means women having more say in these matters and men are just going to have to bear it until we have had enough time to release the fury, which goes very deep.

(And I don't mean women like Thatcher or Hillary or Merkel.)

Unless of course, they want to return to the old ways of the patriarchy, which it's clear a lot of them would prefer.

Real change doesn't come easily.

Posted by Flash (here)

Posted by A Voice from the Mountains (here)
I've experienced the same thing. Most men probably have, including the ones responding here, from the looks of it. Men wanting to date modern women almost have to be therapists, which is unhealthy for everyone involved and a burden no man should have to carry.

I believe the reason that modern women de-legitimize the man's instinct to try to find a practical solution to everyday problems is that they've been conditioned by feminist society into seeing men as tyrannical and oppressive by default, and so they have very low respect for what men have to offer to begin with. They probably had problems with their own fathers, experienced parental divorce, or maybe were raised by single moms. Too many women obsess over the "divine feminine" without having the slightest clue of what qualities are supposed to counter-balance femininity. Too often they even have open contempt for anything masculine, and some are going so far as to call masculinity a mental disorder now. And it's pure projection.

This is what happens when feelings take precedence over cold, hard reasoning in society.

Oh please, avoid what you usually do

the pop psychology about women - and their fathers - you are plainly not qualified
north american women being not feminine, but Brazilian or Philipinos are - total despise toward us (seen from you in other threads as well)
that we have contempt for men!!!! up to now, I have always seen you having contempt toward north American women

I sincerely have enough of women blasting

We may have been men blasting for one century, but men have been women blasting and more for milleniums, and I have enough of this stupidity

If you cannot handle intelligent women, because what I see here is sheer projection (you want pop psychology, here it is, but at least Ihave the degrees to support it)

You are soo dry and not funny and not intelligent, emotionally or intelligence base when it regards women that I wonder how come a guy like this could go through the North American world and remain so close minded like this.

And do not answer me, I am writing for everyone else here, not you.

Oh: i will add this: everytime this guy is on a thread regarding women or men-women relationship, the thread become insipid crap with gluiey sugary comments. Unbearable, it take of all the taste I have to write in those thread.

But WOMEN HAVE SHUT UP FOR MILLENIAS AND I WON'T PURSUE IN THIS MANNER

Up to now, I was just stopping to participate in these thread, but no more, This behavior has to be addressed.

Posted by AutumnW (here)
Onawah,
I think you hit the nail on the head here! There are so many undercurrents, contradictions. Also, we all spend more time in a virtual, non tactile space now and that has large scale ramifications for society. The gender "battle" can't be understood apart from this greater technological revolution.

Very true, Autumn. Women, children, animals, the natural world have been considered to be just so much 'collateral damage" when it comes to their technological exploitation of the natural world, and now the worst of them just can't wait until they can completely mind control everyone as well.

Women, being so much more in touch with Nature, and so much more vulnerable, like children and animals, to what is toxic and out of balance with Nature, are the first to suffer and therefore women must also be the ones to speak out on behalf of all that is vulnerable and worthy of protection instead of exploitation.

If many women are unable to express themselves well, it should hardly come as any surprise considering how long we have been bullied into keeping quiet.

The role of Divine Masculine is to protect, not to exploit. If that is not functional, all else will be dysfunctional as well...It's not their fault, if you consider that the covert rulers of this planet for thousands of years are not even human, but they still have to take responsibility for what should be.

Again you are bang on here. Our greatest strength is our sensitivity to natural forces and we should go with deeper forces that guide us rather than engage in superficial distractions that not only subtract from us but others as well.

[Agape]

Posted by Morbid (here)
i used to work with this jamaican dude years ago. he would be getting laid by different women almost daily. he's not sure how many kids he've got from whom. changed his mobile numbers quite frequently, so you get the idea.. his secret? as we did project together he would always have inear bluetooth speaker on, occasionally replying with "aha", "i hear you", "you're right", "ya man" etc. so spending several hours a day tolerating background noise would award him with a guaranteed session. part of me kind of admired him..

Yep. There’s always lesson to learn. I learned one from my mum who was abnormally talkative in my opinion, great rhetorician, she had broad knowledge of advanced topics true but could go on and on for hours and your only chance was to sit, listen and sometimes-not to forget-respond in the right manner to show you’re following the “conversation”. That’s how she’d call it anyway. She’d forget she’s having two hour monologue
As a child I was still curious and learned from it and learned to listen. It helped me to be a good listener, later in life when counselling others.
Sometimes, people don’t need anything else so much that you’re being able to listen to them with full attention.
I’ve not seen even many therapists being able to do that. Most loose patience after half an hour and start infusing you with their idea of how it really is.

Well but back to my mum. When I grew older I found her talkativeness really annoying and tried to avoid having conversations with her except for Sunday’s.
It was just too much on me and it accumulated since back then when I was a kid. It was like swarm of bees or energy projectile in your head. The nail isn’t far from the parallel.

I tried to teach her-in return- when I was older about the goodness of silence and meditation but she obviously suffered when there was no chat going on.

Very late, to the end of her life and she had friend to talk to everyday but it never stopped her from going on n on ..while her energy was literally dissolving, exhausting her in front of my eyes ..once again, having no other option, I just sat and listened to her without interrupting for about two hours.
Out of sudden , she noticed my calms. And she stopped realising she does not have to do this to entertain. That I don’t expect more. Something like that.

And I did the same mistake number of times with some of my best friends too. That’s it, I’m not chatty person in general, not at all. I only talk to someone if I love them very much And then I can talk a lot ...and if I forget to stop the other person don’t tell me off but suffer silently and it’s all wrong at the end.

It’s an archetypal habit that either males or females find difficult to get rid of, if you love someone you want to entertain. Share the best stories, the juiciest wisdoms and list of what you’ve learned in life so that they ..err..don’t fail or don’t do the same mistake and don’t forget the customs in life

It’s shortly before you realise that you’re loved mostly for being and doing rather than talking and most of advanced societies respect quiet males and females bit better.

[greybeard]

There is a balance

as posted here
https://projectavalon.net/forum4/show...=1#post1269343
Woman snaps after date refuses to pay her £99 food bill


" A guy has shared the barrage of abusive messages he received from a woman, after refusing to pay for her food after a date.

And while that may sound like a douche move, the internet is actually on his side."

and here
Posted by 5th
https://projectavalon.net/forum4/show...=1#post1269381

"Yes indeed! The roughly 20% of children conceived outside of the parent partnership has been known for a long time but now with the increase in paternity testing it is not only being proven correct but becoming more widely known.

The reason for this seemingly high percentage of infidelity was concluded to the the alarming extent to which women are driven by their primitive subconscious urges to get the 'best' genes for their children - and biologically speaking this is usually the bad boy, don't care about anyone else winner type rather than a stable father/provider.

Just another example of how we are are driven by our basic animal instincts! "

Men and women are as they are.
Most are decent and have respect for the opposite sex.
Chris

[onawah]

Incessant chatter is just a way to keep from feeling what is really going inside of one's self, and it eats up a tremendous amount of energy.
I was well and truly amazed at how empowered and energized I felt after taking a six week vow of silence when I was living at a Zen Center in the mountains of Virginia in my younger years.
I would have extended it, but I was asked to end it because there was much physical work to be done, and it took too much time to write things down that were necessary to communicate.
But it was very instructive to realize how much really didn't need to be communicated in words--silence and the deep empathy that accompanies it often was a much better medium of communication.
I got so much more in touch with Nature, and felt much closer in spirit to the others who were living there.
So much of our attention is diverted from Being to thinking when we are in conversation with others, and we are all the poorer for it.

Posted by Agape (here)

I tried to teach her-in return- when I was older about the goodness of silence and meditation but she obviously suffered when there was no chat going on.

[A Voice from the Mountains]

Posted by Flash (here)
Oh please, avoid what you usually do

the pop psychology about women - and their fathers - you are plainly not qualified
north american women being not feminine, but Brazilian or Philipinos are - total despise toward us (seen from you in other threads as well)
that we have contempt for men!!!! up to now, I have always seen you having contempt toward north American women

I sincerely have enough of women blasting

Thank you for refuting what I said with careful reasoning rather than just being emotional. I appreciate such a clear and thoughtful response.

[DeDukshyn]

Posted by A Voice from the Mountains (here)

Posted by DeDukshyn (here)
It was incredibly painful to see her in this state and I literally was never allowed to try to help her. Nothing but very bad things happened no matter how loving I approached her. She was NOT going to be told "how to live her life!" - When all I wanted to do was explain how easy it was to solve her suffering.

I've experienced the same thing. Most men probably have, including the ones responding here, from the looks of it. Men wanting to date modern women almost have to be therapists, which is unhealthy for everyone involved and a burden no man should have to carry.

...

Well I can certainly agree it sometimes feels this way, that is for sure. At the same time I imagine many women can also say the same thing about men and some of our issues (or just our general approach to things that differ from women). Its certainly a "human" phenomenon more than it is just a man or woman thing ... but us being only on one side admittedly have a bit of 'male' bias, of course.

They way I see it almost everyone needs therapy. It's partly just that few people are doing any self work and self reflection these days because no one wants to look into themselves and find what they don't like about others in there. This is not the entire problem in itself, but compounds the problem of men and woman being different in their emotional and social needs.

[A Voice from the Mountains]

Posted by DeDukshyn (here)
Well I can certainly agree it sometimes feels this way, that is for sure. At the same time I imagine many women can also say the same thing about men and some of our issues (or just our general approach to things that differ from women). Its certainly a "human" phenomenon more than it is just a man or woman thing ... but us being only on one side admittedly have a bit of 'male' bias, of course.

Of course men have issues as well, but we get beat up for it all the time. That's why you don't even feel comfortable criticizing the results of radical feminism here without having to also throw the women a bone and beat up on men some more as well. Gender relations as a whole have completely deteriorated, and yet we never hear anything about "toxic femininity," do we?

It seems many people are more likely to believe that women will be the saviors of the world, if we just let remove all barriers (both literal and figurative) and let them do whatever they want, be it murdering babies, erasing national borders, or whatever else they feel like. It's gotten so old that to even see the phrase "divine feminine" about makes me want to gag at this point, because I've known far too many of these people first-hand to still believe there is anything divine about them.

[greybeard]

Posted by DeDukshyn (here)

Posted by Morbid (here)
i used to work with this jamaican dude years ago. he would be getting laid by different women almost daily. he's not sure how many kids he've got from whom. changed his mobile numbers quite frequently, so you get the idea.. his secret? as we did project together he would always have inear bluetooth speaker on, occasionally replying with "aha", "i hear you", "you're right", "ya man" etc. so spending several hours a day tolerating background noise would award him with a guaranteed session. part of me kind of admired him..

I know I could easily woo women by catering to their emotional feelings by simply doing those sorts of things, which would be being dishonest with myself on some level. I would consider that manipulation and 'easy' though ... I personally would feel little reward in getting laid that way -- too easy, and many of the women who would fall for that would do so simply because they are emotionally weak - I'm not into weak women.

Needless to say I don't get laid much, because I'm unwilling to do those sorts of things ... Cest la vie ...

I can identify with this.
All my long term relationships have been with strong women--my mother certainly was too.
She was successful in everything she did--so was my Father.

My best teachers were the relationships--painful at times--my ego got reduced--still some to go--maybe another teacher lurks around the corner.
My best friends have always been women.
Chris