WADE FRAZIER : A Healed Planet

[Wade Frazier]

Hi Hughe:

Yes, the Tesla/Marconi issue is well known. Even PBS discussed the conflicts of interest that were likely behind giving Marconi the precedence, and then taking it away from him.

http://www.pbs.org/tesla/ll/ll_whoradio.html

But, as with those situations, quite a few people made the contributions that led to the radio.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inventi...per_comparison

The precedence issue is typical in a world of scarcity, where the winners become rich and famous, while the losers often die penniless and in obscurity. Inventors virtually never get rich and famous by pure inventing. It was only when the invention was integrated into a business effort that the inventor got the rich and famous deal. As you know, many, famous “inventors” of history really did not do the inventing. The real inventor remains obscure to this day. It is the standard story.

Even at places like the Smithsonian, inventions such Eli Whitney’s cotton gin come under fire.

http://invention.smithsonian.org/cen...ls/eipac1.html

In a world of scarcity, theft is a common means of “commerce,” and stealing ideas is a lot less bloody than stealing land and physical wealth.

When abundance reigns, the “this is my idea” stuff will fade away, as will patents, etc.

Best,

Wade

[wavydome]

I would suggest that the hundred monkeys face a dilemma of disciplines apparently required. An unbridled intuition, perhaps heavenly in flavor, is prone to victimizations, as with buzz words like new age. Unbridled centralization has destabilized the globe. Balancing intuitive inspirations with analytic-mechanics is apparently a very hard sell on earth. The lures of either extreme keep humanity prone to deceptions or addictions. I'm left wondering. What sort of life-pastures will the lambs comfortably range? How will the ram guide the lambs, to balance intuition with analytics? Some lambs need more texts, others more visuals, others more meditations, others more mechanics, others cartoons, others manual skill. What system(s) will guide each monkey to their individualized balance needed, to get the total human awareness, up to the minimum threshold required?

I'll get back to reading more of your essays Wade. While at the same time wonder about this human threshold of awareness, required. Thanks for this focussed thread, to mutually ponder this together, synchronistically.

[Wade Frazier]

Hi wavydome:

Great questions. As far as I can tell, all addictive behaviors are fear-based (scarcity-based). Basically, people seek escapes, however briefly, from their miserable conditions. That easily explains all drug addictions. The “intermittent reinforcement” that gambling provides is a very temporary high that feeds the casinos. All competitive games and sports seek the same, and always at the expense of another (there is that scarcity-based dynamic once again). That is standard Young Soul behavior:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/spirit.htm#age1

So, many of the pitfalls would be “cured” by FE and abundance, but yes, getting there is the hard part. That is why this is called a conundrum.

As a brief aside, those two future Earths that Roads visited:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/visions.htm#roadsblade

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/visions.htm#roads1

are treated by many as fantasy, but I don’t. I have thought long and hard about the aspects of those civilizations, and went a long ways down the path of what likely led them to their states that Roads observed. As you can see that in the Bladerunner-ish world, the rich can buy drug-addled, illusory existences, to try to briefly escape their agony, but they never really do. At the highest levels, they have incredibly expensive genetic manipulation and other tricks to buy some kind of grace, but again, they never really achieve it.

The only difference between those worlds, in the end, is that one consciously chose love, while the other did not.

In our Camelot interview, Brian used the word “sentience” in a similar way that I do, as he described the attributes that the people who can help this along will have:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/camelot.htm#sentience

We both came to that conclusion from many long years of trying to get people to at least think about FE and what it can mean. I eventually became a little more paradigmatic about it, and said that those people who had yet to achieve the level of required sentience have usually abdicated it, quite willingly, to get fed. I call them addictions to scarcity-based ideologies:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/paradigm.htm#dominant

It was reading that essay that really brought Brian back into my orbit after several years of having little contact. He said that it was the best thing that he had seen in a long time. Just before he died, he was planning on promoting my plan for making FE happen:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/lessons.htm#stage1

The private version of that essay was written for Brian, and it took me about a year to write it.

In my interviews with Scott:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/public.htm#interviews

I said that the main purpose of my public work was helping people think comprehensively. That is closely related to the sentience that Brian described. Every person on Earth has had scarcity-based conditioning, and only those who have escaped that conditioning, or recognize it for what it is and are working on overcoming it, are candidates for achieving that abundance-based, comprehensive perspective that can help make FE happen. Everything else is a dead-end, as far as I have seen. When I have seen people try to harness the herd with those scarcity-based ideologies (especially nationalism (or other tribalisms), capitalism, or organized religion), it always turned into a disaster, partly because people adhering to those ideologies are operating from fear, and Godzilla easily manipulates them. He is the master of fear, and cannot be beaten at his game.

That is why I refer to the people that I am trying to connect with as “The Lambs,” and not because they will be “meek,” but because they will be loving. The coercive warrior way to FE will not work, because it is fear-based, operating from the negative, delusionary pole of the warrior awareness:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/camelot.htm#warriors

when I state that the FE movement has to be loving before all else:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/lessons.htm#stage1

I am not stating it because it is a nice thing to say. Anything less than love will be fear, and a fear-based effort does not have a prayer.

So, it always starts in the heart, but that is not the end, either. The head needs to follow, and what I noticed was that most people are scientifically illiterate, so newbies to the “alternatives” tend to disappear into a million rabbit holes that are really not very important (you can see that phenomenon all over the Avalon threads and all “alternative” forums). My upcoming essay will be my most comprehensive one yet, and the energy situation will be front and center. Previews of its themes are here:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/upcoming.htm#revolutions

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/lessons.htm#chart

Once enough people with the right stuff (who have their hearts in the right place and have overcome their scarcity-based conditioning or are working hard at it) begin to think comprehensively (in Bucky style http://www.ahealedplanet.net/roots.htm#fuller), then the choir will begin to form (they will be Level 12s http://www.ahealedplanet.net/paradigm.htm#level12). We are a long ways from getting there, but when I see people like Ilie begin to sing, it gives me confidence that the choir can be formed, even if it starts with only five of us.

And that choir will not be some one-trick pony. Let’s say that Godzilla dies in his sleep and FE comes out tomorrow, that choir will be critical in helping FE manifest in its most benevolent way, and can even help preempt the stupid wars that the delusional Young Warriors would want to use it for (which my envisioned global peacekeeping force of grandmothers would help prevent).

Again, you asked some of the best questions that I have seen in a while, and I hoped that this response answered some of them. Off to work now.

Best,

Wade

[Wade Frazier]

Hi:

One of my long-time pals disagreed that addictive behaviors are rooted in misery. Instead, people seek “highs” for chemical reasons. I don’t have the time to get into it this morning in detail, but back when I was about twenty, and had never gotten drunk, had never had a drug, had never had sex, and was quite the mystical student, I did not “get” all of those addictive behaviors that I saw those around me engage in. Well, a few years later, I had been exposed to innumerable “vices” during my “descent” into the real world (the first of nine posts on that subject are here):

http://projectavalon.net/forum4/show...l=1#post319133

I kept my eyes open and radar up, trying to understand what I was seeing. In the end, all addictive behaviors that I could see were rooted in the fear that comes with economic scarcity. I will get more into it this weekend. It is kind of a companion to my upcoming energy essay, where when you develop eyes to see it, you can see that human civilization rides atop the energy situation and always has. Love is the highest of all possible feelings, and is the greatest “drug” of all, and those operating from love don’t engage in addictive behaviors. I have heard it said that love and fear are mutually exclusive feelings. I’ll buy that. And when we live with a constant underlying hum of fear (like Frank felt http://projectavalon.net/forum4/show...l=1#post330505), achieving a loving state and maintaining it is no easy trick. Love is the energy of creation, and love and FE are joined at the hip.

Best,

Wade

[Wade Frazier]

Hi:

To my previous posts on addictions, I have plenty to say on the subject, and I’ll say some of it today. This will be a theme in my energy essay, too. Anybody who has had dogs, cats or many other types of pets knows of their emotional nature, their personalities, etc. Great ape studies have discovered many human-like emotions. Researchers have begun to conclude that perhaps all animals have emotional states, and they all seem to seek “positive” ones, and they all use their “tools” to get there, which includes their intelligence. Because we all need to eat, and there are food chains (which some mystical material says is not a universal situation in planets that host biological life), every animal on Earth is also battling for survival, although it turns out that none of the great apes are very vulnerable to predation. Their greatest threats are each other, except that the greatest threat to all of the great apes is humanity.

So, all animals, as far as we can tell, seek positive emotional states, while trying to get fed and avoid becoming food. Humans do not appear to be different, and like the great apes, the only predators of note for humans are other humans. Anthropologists have determined that all humans have an instinctual fear of strangers, men especially, for obvious reasons. This goes back a long, long way, almost baked into our DNA. Also, there has never been a golden age of humanity that anthropologists have ever discovered. All civilizations have Eden-like states in their mythologies, and there is plenty of speculation on the fringes that maybe there was some golden age that has been only recalled in myth, but if it was places like Atlantis, those golden times sure did not last forever, and humans seem to be marked far more by the trauma of the distant past than primeval memories of a golden age.

When studying either the few remaining hunter-gatherer civilizations or the primitive agricultural ones, or studying the remains of ancient ones, it appears that around a third of the adult males in those societies have died violently, such as the Yanomamö of South America. Their violent fatality rate mirrors that of chimpanzee bands that have been studied. The bonobos are the only great apes to have escaped the male penchant for violence, and they did it because of economics that allowed for a different social organization:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/lessons.htm#bonobo

As far as that word love goes, just about all of the mystical material that I ever encountered states that the reason why an ensouled species like humans exists is for our souls to learn free will in a physical body. Being physical provides lessons that can’t be learned anyplace else, and the purpose is to evolve our awareness, and the greatest accomplishment while here is to achieve the love state, which is the highest of all emotional states. It is even said that all emotional states have their root in love, as love is the energy of creation. Mystical material like Michael’s revolves nearly entirely around the love/fear issue. Michael says that agape, which is the unconditional love of others, is the great goal of all sentient species:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/spirit.htm#michael

Ra essentially says the same thing:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/spirit.htm#ra

and they are two of the best bodies of channeled work that I ever encountered, and I have encountered just about all of them.

Who can argue against love? It is obviously the best of all possible feelings; the summit of the human condition. Those who mastered it often became religious figures. Of course, in a world of scarcity, all religions became a way to wealth and power for the priesthood, but for all of the grotesque distortions, omissions and fabrications of Christianity, for instance, the message of love in the Jesus story comes through pretty clearly.

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/visions.htm#jesus

So, humans have no natural predators except each other, and we, like probably all animals, seek positive emotional states, with love being our zenith. However, in a world of fear (all fears are rooted in not feeling in control of what happens to our bodies) and scarcity, achieving that feeling is not easy. That is the great challenge of being a human on Earth.

However, in a world of abundance, Bucky Fuller:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/roots.htm#fuller

believed that humans would rise above the survival games that humans have always played, and that the primary interest for humanity would be self-realization instead of survival, essentially climbing up Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

While agape is the great goal of all sentient species, all ensouled species have a physical pathway to “essence” or the soul, where a brief touch helps keep the physically-bound creature tethered to its source (that is also why we need to sleep). In some ensouled species, that physical connection is made through a vocalization, in others it is through a motion, and so on. For humans, it is through the orgasm attained during sex. As long as there has been civilization, the issue of Eros and Agape, to borrow from the Greeks, has been explored. The sex act that brings another soul through is a deeply profound one, and akin to the highest state that humans can achieve, but there is more angst, joy and other emotions invested in human sexual relations than in any other interaction.

Getting at higher emotional states through physical means is the predilection of all of humanity. While some do it through sex, meditation, prayer, exercise, and other “natural” means, many do it through “artificial” stimulants, such as TV, movies and other entertainment (on the sexual side of it, women tend to read romance novels and men consume pornography), but many do it through drugs and other stimulants, such as comfort food. Some of us get off on pursing truth or beauty.

When a person has achieved agape, all other ways of attaining higher emotional states pale to insignificance. But, as long as there has been humanity, people have glimpsed the higher emotional states through those other stimulatory ways, getting those endorphins and other “feel good” chemicals circulating. All addictive behaviors are based on chasing those higher emotional states, but they are all fleeting and eventually damaging to the organism. When they are achieved at the expense of others, that is how rich karmic entanglements are created, which can create the “friction” for the soul’s growth, but there have to be better ways than that. And groups of people can play that karmic game, such as a nation (or nations) slaughtering millions of people to steal the resources (all resources are energy-based) that make their industrialized lifestyles possible:

https://sites.google.com/site/iraqih...e/polya-gideon

https://sites.google.com/site/afghan...fghan-genocide

In a world of scarcity, where predatory behaviors abound, achieving those higher emotional states is far from easy. When I descended into hell in Los Angeles:

http://projectavalon.net/forum4/show...l=1#post319133

I brought my youthful idealism and naïveté into a world of great misery, where everybody was trying to use everybody else, where being a sober, non-materialistic vegetarian was not acceptable, and where everybody was trying to achieve those higher emotional states, usually in very dysfunctional ways. And what was doubly bizarre about my LA days were all the people who had come from all over the world to be there, who considered LA infinitely better than where they had come from.

What I found was that nearly everybody accepted the hellish nature of LA, and pretty much ignored the bad stuff, like walking past a dead body on the way to lunch. LA was steeped in entertainment (TV, music, films, porn), but the glitz and glamour of LA was belied by its dark underbelly, the underbelly that was best ignored, and I have seen that ignoring throughout my lifetime, especially during my career that has pretty much been confined to big cities.

Working 12-hour days is not healthy, even if sitting at a desk. But the USA is filled with that kind of “lifestyle” today. And that underlying fear is with everybody, and it can come out in subtle ways. I work in downtown Bellevue, which is one of the most pleasant urban environments on Earth, where I can run into the world’s richest man at the movie theater:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/lessons.htm#gates

But in my office and on the first floor of my building, caffeine is readily available, to get people revved up to play the corporate game. I probably am not more than a hundred yards from coffee, anywhere within a quarter-mile of my office. Maybe it is because I have never had coffee in my life that the dynamic was clear to me, while it seemed invisible to those around me. One day I told a co-worker how corporate America gets drugged up the first thing in the morning and throughout the day on caffeine, and finishes the day with alcohol, going from one drugged state to another, and then probably flipping on the tube to achieve another addled state. He said that he never thought of it that way, and he was older than I was.

As Scott said in my interviews with him:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/public.htm#interviews

he has been asking people in recent years what they would do if all of their needs were provided for. The most common answer has been “I don’t know.” They are so sucked into the rat race that they cannot even imagine what it is like to leave it. It is a close cousin to not being even able to imagine FE and abundance, as the social managers and the quest for stimulants have been so successful at keeping people completely enslaved.

So, most people are in thrall to their conditioning so deeply that it is fair to question if they are actually manifesting sentience.

But, when people begin to awaken, and see a viable alternative to what they have been sold since the cradle, I think that most would sign up in a heartbeat. Heaven on Earth sure looks like a lot more fun than what I am seeing in the world, and achieving those higher emotional states sure would be easier to achieve if people were not always riding the ragged edge of survival even if they have convinced themselves that they aren’t.

I could be wrong, however, and souls come here to play kill-or-be-killed, and do not want their game of numbed-up survival and cheap thrills to stop. If that is the case, then I want another assignment next time. But, I have a higher opinion of the creator and our reason for being here, all obvious evidence seemingly to the contrary, and even the “mystical” journey that I took and that damned voice in my head:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/advent.htm#voice

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/advent.htm#voice2

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/advent.htm#voice3

was a mixed bag.

I am doing what I can to help people raise their eyes from the muck, and simply imagine a world based on abundance.

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/abund.htm#abundance

I have been at it so long, however, that it has been incredible to continually witness people’s intractable resistance to the idea, as they learned early on to play the sorry game that promised them food, egocentric strokes and stimulants/comforts for their allegiance to scarcity-based ways of thinking and being:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/paradigm.htm#dominant

and when people get a glimpse of what I am talking about, they almost always chase down the rabbit holes of Levels 5 to 11:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/paradigm.htm#level5

I am here to help people reach Level 12 without wasting their lives on the earlier levels. While one of the earlier levels might work, the odds are insanely long against all of them, and I am trying to see if the Level 12 approach can work.

We will see how it goes.

Best,

Wade

[Ilie Pandia]

Excellent post Wade

I can barely wait for the essay to come out!

Chop, chop!

[Wade Frazier]

Hi Ilie:

I am not the only person who will get some patience training in the near future.

The Brian O essay will come first, and I am going to try hard to get it finished this month. Great man. Great message, and it will be an honor to publish it.

Then we will see how it goes in that mythical 2012. I am optimistic, although I already have tasks lined up in 2012 that will take my time and energy.

Ho, ho, ho,

Wade

[Robert J. Niewiadomski]

Wade i really like when you strike mystical strings Could you play them more often for us? The C.P.A strings make me feel lonely and cold... But it is just me...

I wish you find time, peace and positive energy in abundance to complete your FE tasks And may your day job give you a moment to breathe...

[Wade Frazier]

Hi Robert:

Yes, I play a few different instruments, and they don’t always make a symphony. The thread of my mystical understanding runs throughout my work, as does my CPA and scientist’s understanding. Every essay on my site is somebody’s favorite, and those essays run the gamut, from dry historian to airy-fairy mystic. Yes, the CPA-ish parts can seem more sterile, and for that you have my apologies. Hiding out in corporate America I am sure is part of it, as is my tendency to want to stick to the facts, which a mystical orientation makes more challenging.

I can see myself becoming less CPA-ish and more mystical as I grow old, but, really, the CPA-ish, scientist part is the one that makes things happen. The mystical part is the part that helps guide the tools. The CPA-ish part is what keeps the mystical part rooted in this reality. It probably comes to the fore when I see half-cocked New Agers think they are going to scale the FE ramparts, with The Secret tucked under one arm, about five minutes after they heard of FE for the first time. Once I am in a forum where I am not dealing with those delusions continually, you may see me wax mystically a little more often.

As I grow older, I wonder if those various aspects will find a greater harmony, at least for readers like you. I sure hope so. We will see how it goes.

Best,

Wade

[CdnSirian]

Posted by Wade Frazier (here)
Hi Robert:

Yes, I play a few different instruments, and they don’t always make a symphony. The thread of my mystical understanding runs throughout my work, as does my CPA and scientist’s understanding. Every essay on my site is somebody’s favorite, and those essays run the gamut, from dry historian to airy-fairy mystic. Yes, the CPA-ish parts can seem more sterile, and for that you have my apologies. Hiding out in corporate America I am sure is part of it, as is my tendency to want to stick to the facts, which a mystical orientation makes more challenging.

I can see myself becoming less CPA-ish and more mystical as I grow old, but, really, the CPA-ish, scientist part is the one that makes things happen. The mystical part is the part that helps guide the tools. The CPA-ish part is what keeps the mystical part rooted in this reality. It probably comes to the fore when I see half-cocked New Agers think they are going to scale the FE ramparts, with The Secret tucked under one arm, about five minutes after they heard of FE for the first time. Once I am in a forum where I am not dealing with those delusions continually, you may see me wax mystically a little more often.

As I grow older, I wonder if those various aspects will find a greater harmony, at least for readers like you. I sure hope so. We will see how it goes.

Best,

Wade

I love your airy-fairy mystic side (I am of the extreme airy-fairy Swan Lake and Giselle-ish ilk myself). And your other sides too. Dry historian posts are enlightening and CPA-ish posts also have given much to my inquiring mind. Your post #1345 transcended even the writings on your site, for me, an admitted airy-fairy type. I do appreciate the more "grounded" real life issues. For while dancers are very airy-fairy, it is only gravity that gives them their thrust into the loftier currents. I am sure you will find the harmony. Regards.

[Wade Frazier]

Hi CdnSirian:

I come from a family of writers, and had writing pretensions when I was young, writing science fiction and fantasy. I eventually let those youthful dreams go as I began my journey in the real world. Then I had my wild ride with Dennis. More than twenty years ago, I wrote as therapy, trying to make sense of what I survived. Then I began my research effort, which continues. After several years of reading everything that I could get my hands on, I created my first site in 1996, which came down the next year. Then in 1999, after two years of full-time research and writing, I put up the second version. It was long-winded, even more than my writings today ( ). That writing stuff sure was not easy, as I discovered.

Then a cyberpal that I encountered in a forum offered to edit my site. She was a professional editor, and I hired her. That process helped my writing dramatically. One professional writer friend had read my earlier work, and the changes after digesting my editor’s lessons were so marked that my writer friend began to doubt that I was really doing the writing, as if I had hired a ghost writer.

Then I spent another year-and-a-half, between full-time consulting gigs, doing more research and writing. That effort coincided with my midlife crisis:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/opinions.htm#crisis

and it was a monster. In 2003, I resumed my career, and have been writing technical business documents ever since, which took my writing skillset to another level. My day job helped make my web writings more precise. Of course, it is on the CPA-ish side of the fence, so my writings are less airy-fairy than ever. There are upsides and downsides to that. But as I look back, it is ironic that I came from a family of writers, had dreams of writing fiction when young, to abandon it as a boyish fantasy, to eventually do the kind of writing that I do, because I have a mission. And almost none of it was really planned, or it has turned out radically different than planned.

By about 1994, I planned to take two years off after I put my wife through graduate school and write a book. Dennis came calling in the meantime, and I did my second stint with him:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/other.htm#darker

and nearly went to prison for my efforts. When I finally came home to Seattle, I began the writing that became my second site. Then I hired that editor, and the third version was produced, with me finishing it in September 2002, when I was in the second, agonizing stage of my midlife crisis. I was unemployed and had a front-row seat for the invasion of Iraq, which was one of the greatest nightmares of my life:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/america.htm#invading

Until 2001, I still had notions of writing a book, with my site being a companion to it. I eventually came to realize that with my writing style, with all the interlinks, it was not suitable for becoming a book, and I felt that a three-hundred-page distillation of my writings would be pretty weak. I also had many friends who had written books, and the book-publishing path looked like no fun. It bankrupted Brian O. Also, publishing a book seemed like part of the devil’s flypaper, where I would have my name and face on a book, promoting it, and trying to get paid. People were encouraging me to parlay my site into an advanced degree or other prize. I realized that I had to publish my work in the spirit in which I was doing it, so I determined that I would always give away my writings (“be the change you want to see,” and all that).

It was not until after I completed the 2002 version of my site that a cyberpal who was Bucky’s pupil told me that I was a comprehensivist:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/roots.htm#fuller

Then I read a couple of Fuller’s books and said to myself, “Oh, that is what I have been doing.” I was a seat-of-the-britches comprehensivist, not understanding that that was what I had been doing. Reading Fuller helped crystallize my thinking, and all of those short essays that I have written since 2002:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/home.htm#activist

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/home.htm#comprehensive

were more consciously comprehensive than my 2002 site’s writings. As I was finishing the 2002 version of my site, I realized that that writing stuff was hard, and that I was not very good at it. It was really an effort, and still is.

Several years later, after writing technical business documents the entire time, I find that I accept my limitations as a writer and actually enjoy the process, but what a long time it took. I still have a long ways to go, both technically and structurally, as a writer, but wanting to become a better writer can be a trap, too. Today, I do not strive for writerly eloquence, but just getting my ideas and information across in the clearest way that I can.

Also, the subject matter that I tackle is anything but tame. Writing about the Jewish Holocaust nearly wrecked my marriage:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/war.htm#anti

Writing that part of my site was the final straw for my drinking days, as I became a sad drunk instead of a happy drunk. I quit drinking in 2000, and thank God that I did. I quit drinking just as my midlife crisis was beginning. If I had been drinking during my midlife crisis, I might not be alive today.

As it is, I did not “extinguish” my chief feature, impatience:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/spirit.htm#reading

during my midlife crisis, and wrestle with it today, which can be seen in my forum writings, as I am continually inundated with people with inventor-itis, sneaky agendas, New Age-itis and so on, and this is the nice forum.

I am a frail human, like the rest of us. Having a dream and chasing it sure was educational, and it definitely made me a better person, if wounded. But, I look at my essays, the long ones that comprise the bulk of my 2002 site:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/purpose.htm#use

and want to take a year or two to rewrite all of them. I think that they all hold up pretty well, ten years later, but I could make them so much better. But, at my age, if I take any time off, it would mean the end of my career, so I have to keep up this juggling act as long as I can.

My Avalon experience was not planned. When I began coming out of my midlife crisis in late 2006, after receiving professional help, I began reengaging the public again, little by little, and eventually found that Internet forums had degenerated far more than I supposed in the five years that I had been away from them:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/critics.htm#_edn1

My banning at ATS, after having numerous dismaying experiences in other forums, told me that all-comer forums were dead ends for the subject matter that I tackle. Last year, I decided that when I finished my energy essay, I would have to begin an invitation-only forum, to get the conversation going at a high level, to begin to form that choir. I was not looking forward to doing it, but it was the only way that I saw to get the conversation going that I envisioned.

So, it was a very pleasant surprise to see that Bill had come to the same conclusion that I did, and started this Avalon forum. Making my 656 posts at Avalon since January has definitely delayed the completion of my energy essay, but I also got to meet Ilie and gang. Watching Ilie quickly progress through the Levels to Level 12:

http://www.ahealedplanet.net/paradigm.htm#level12

showed me that what I was trying to do was feasible (Ilie was probably in Levels 6 to 8 when I started at Avalon). So, this has not been time wasted, not by any means.

Also, what has been happening in recent years is that I am growing old. As Indiana Jones said, it is not the years, but the miles. My high-stress life is catching up with me, and I have been burying quite a few friends and family members in recent years, and I can tell that my brain is not as nimble as it used to be (it could be some of my recent health issues, but it could just be getting old). I probably have between ten and fifteen good years ahead of me, before I enter my dotage, and I need to make them count, both on the career and writing fronts, as well as playing husband, helpful relative, and so forth.

In finishing, I feel a lot of pressure to get that energy essay written, after I get that Brian O essay written (this month, I hope), while juggling my intense job, my duties as husband, friend and patriarch of my family (which happened when I was not looking – I never signed up for it, but here I am, the family patriarch, who never had children, irony of ironies).

We will see how it goes.

Best,

Wade

[Dennis Leahy]

Well, it will take a while to completely digest your last post (mostly because of the linked references, and my inability to always stay on-track and not follow tangents once I enter your site.)

However, it does prompt me to just stop and say, "I love you, Wade!"

I want you to know you're loved and appreciated for genuinely being who you are and for your dedication to humanity. You are one in a trillion!

Dennis

[Chinaski]

Wade, wow, what an awesome post. i too harbor(ed?) illusions of being a writer, so i can completely relate to your situation. being a Hemingway guy, i do appreciate short, declaritive statements; and for the record, i find your writing to be refreshingly clear and lucid and enjoyable. the info is tough enough to tackle without any sort of Joycean pretensions

thanks for sharing such personal info here i personally find your journey to be very uplifting, and your courage inspiring. thanks for everything you do!

[Wade Frazier]

Thanks Dennis and Chinaski:

Your kind words are appreciated. I am burying a household member this evening, and dealing with a lot of grief at the moment. I might be relatively quiet for a few days.

Best,

Wade

[eaglespirit]

Posted by Wade Frazier (here)
Thanks Dennis and Chinaski:

Your kind words are appreciated. I am burying a household member this evening, and dealing with a lot of grief at the moment. I might be relatively quiet for a few days.

Best,

Wade

Condolences, Wade!

[CdnSirian]

Posted by Wade Frazier (here)
Thanks Dennis and Chinaski:

Your kind words are appreciated. I am burying a household member this evening, and dealing with a lot of grief at the moment. I might be relatively quiet for a few days.

Best,

Wade

Deepest condolences Wade. Burying friends and relatives has become a too oft event for me and I empathize.

[sandy]

Sorry to hear about your loss Wade, my condolences to you and your loved ones. Soft, gentle long Hugs to all.

Just wanted to say what I love about you the most is your 'genuine being'. After 4 months with my troubled brother 24/7 and resulting other family members coming to visit, I have wearied to say the least and your thread and sharing have been the most support and help to keep to me from falling back to far. Maybe I need to put an ad in the paper and start an awake and aware support group as I have yet to meet anyone in the last 2 1/2 years since I landed here.

Coming here to read and grow refreshes me, inspires me and gently reminds me when I'm on the pity pot from lack of true understanding or sharing, to get up and keep going>>>>>>>>>thank you and all the great posters for IMO this is the most genuine and heartfelt thread for me on the Avalon forum.

Take Care

[Wade Frazier]

Thanks for all the kind thoughts. It was not a person we lost, but our last cat. My wife has had cats almost continuously for thirty years, and we have had cats continually for twenty-one years. Our other cat died four years ago. They are buried under the same apple tree.

In recent years, I have lost favorite uncles, a college roommate, Brian O, and several others. I shed a tear whenever I get the news (I don’t know about you, but I end up hearing about a lot of them via email or the Internet anymore), but the loss of our pets has hit us harder. After our other cat died (she lived to be almost eighteen), we looked into that pet-related grief, and found that we were far from alone. I have heard various theories for that dynamic, but all I know is that we miss them terribly. We look forward to seeing them again on “the other side.” Attached is our last cat “reading” with me when she was a kitten. That picture is nearly seventeen years old. She had cancer for the better part of a year, so we knew the end was near. We will likely be cat-less for some time.

I will be dealing with the aftermath today, and will be pretty busy at work in the coming week and working on Brian’s essay. Sorry to hear about your loneliness Sandy, but know you are not alone! Finding the awake and awakening these days is like looking for needles in haystacks. In some channelings of the future, the awake may well congregate someplace on Earth eventually and form a true Utopia, to show humanity how it is done. There is nothing on Earth like it yet, but we will see how it goes. Maybe we will find ourselves there one day. A sufficient gathering of truly enlightened beings could make FE happen in a snap.

Best,

Wade

[Ernie Nemeth]

So sorry to hear of your loss, my condolances, Wade.
Love the picture of the kitty.
And, I think even you will be surprised to learn how many of us there are.

When the time is ripe they will appear as if by magic!

[Wade Frazier]

Thanks Ernie:

I’ll take The Muppet Movie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pvAK...eature=related

or It’s a Wonderful Life ending any day.

Best,

Wade