I want to be a better person

[Constance]

I want to be a better person.

I strive for this each and every day of my life.

But what does it take to be THAT?

What does it mean to be a better person?

I was curious about what others might think and in my travels, I came across these 20 fascinating questions that I want to share with you now for your thoughts and comments.

But I also want to ask you dear reader, what does it mean to you to be a better person?

Who or what in your life or surroundings makes you want to be a better person?

Who are the people/animals in your life, or those around this spinning globe that you would you like to celebrate and/or acknowledge here as having helped you become a better person?

Here are the 20 questions

1. What, or who, is worth suffering for?
   
2. What can my most aggressive judgments of others tell me about myself?
   
3. Are my opinions of others fixed, or do they evolve? Is that fair?
   
4. If I could meet the best possible version of myself in an alternate reality, what would that person be like?
   
5. Do I more often verbalize what I believe, or what I know others will agree with?
   
6. If I were to die next week, what would be the resounding sentiment shared at my funeral?
   
7. If I could create anything I wanted in life – be it wealth, romance, or success – but could never use social media again to show it to anyone, how would I choose to live?
   
8. Does my daily routine reflect my long-term goals?
   
9. What do the things I envy in others tell me about what I really want to give myself?
   
10. If I could wake up tomorrow 5 years in the past – knowing all that I do now – what would I do differently?
    
11. What do I do to avoid discomfort?
    
12. What are a few painful experiences I swore I’d never get past? How did I?
    
13. What would it take to release my anger? With whom do I need to make amends?
    
14. What did the people who hurt me most in life ultimately teach me?
    
15. Do I embody the qualities of the person that I always dreamed of marrying?
    
16. At the end of my life when I look back on all I have done, what will stand out as having been important? What would I wish I had cared less about?
    
17. What is the most common way I self-sabotage? What does it tell me about my unmet needs?
    
18. If I had to leave the country and could only bring one box, what would I put in it?
    
19. What anonymous acts of kindness could I integrate into my daily life?
    
20. What would it take to become the hero I’ve spent my life waiting for?

Source of questions can be found here

[Bill Ryan]

This may be an indirectly relevant offering here.

It's who you are to yourself. What you see, and know, when you look in the mirror. Absolutely on your own. As if no-one else exists.

The great motivational speaker Jim Rohn said: (and I always remember this)

Self-congratulation is a sign of maturity. Seeking congratulation is a sign of immaturity.

[Orobo]

Let me set in motion your post further.

Without holding back:

1 What, or who, is worth suffering for?
-Existence, but foremost the protection of my effort to project myself
through my DNA, into the future. Both on a genetic and epigenetic level. In that lie all experiences and influences that are locked down in them.

2 What can my most aggressive judgments of others tell me about myself?
-Everything about how I judge muhself.

3 Are my opinions of others fixed, or do they evolve? Is that fair?
-They evolve, like everything in and around me. Well, yes, it just ís.

4 If I could meet the best possible version of myself in an alternate reality, what
would that person be like?
-Like myself now. Even though I am not perfect I have the pleasure and the interest to put in the effort on many levels to get there, and feel capabel to do so. This is more than I dare ask for.

5 Do I more often verbalise what I believe, or what I know others will agree with?
-I verbalise to an extensive degree what I think, feel or believe.

6 If I were to die next week, what would be the resounding sentiment shared at my funeral?
-That I was a courageous, adventurous and sensitive man, that I was open to what life threw at me, at any time.

7 If I could create anything I wanted in life – be it wealth, romance, or success – but could never use social media again to show it to anyone, how would I choose to live?
-I would be doing exactly what I am doing now, I am where I want to be at a very deep level.

8 Does my daily routine reflect my long-term goals?
-Yes, but without routine, which I abhor.

9 What do the things I envy in others tell me about what I really want to give myself?
-I do not envy, and I do not idolise.

10 If I could wake up tomorrow 5 years in the past – knowing all that I do now – what would I do differently?
-I would do nothing different. If you say ten years, I might not have visited the Amazon in 2009 in the manner I did. Whether what I get out of it is worthwhile is an ongoing process...it is what is is.

11 What do I do to avoid discomfort?
-I do not to a very large degree. It has irritated me to no end how our society is built around avoidance of pain, since I was 10 years old.

12 What are a few painful experiences I swore I’d never get past? How did I?
-A break up at 29. Visited a healer on an inner hint. A stone got lifted from my chest then and there (wow!) and I have been flying upwards ever since.

13 What would it take to release my anger? With whom do I need to make amends?
-The residue of anger I have is an ongoing project. I am honing in on it. I think it is my parents. My dad has been carrying the burden of being beaten a lot, and that bled through a bit. Maybe I blame my mother in that.

14 What did the people who hurt me most in life ultimately teach me?
-Independence, of emotions. Seeing what is mine and what belongs to others. This was freeing me on all other levels also. I saw the connections.

15 Do I embody the qualities of the person that I always dreamed of marrying?
-Very much so.

16 At the end of my life when I look back on all I have done, what will stand out as having been important? What would I wish I had cared less about?
-The ruthless will to dare to see myself and my path, and act accordingly. The dialog in my head when younger.

17 What is the most common way I self-sabotage? What does it tell me about my unmet needs?
-Inaction is the first sign there is something there and I need to go there. Unmet needs now or in the past?
Now; none, apart for a cure for my physical body. Then; not much that I see now. Maybe a crumb of neglect in my parents' teaching on the level of partner choice, and that is related to my mother's choice. I was and am loved, also by myself, since I was born. I am grateful for it.

18 If I had to leave the country and could only bring one box, what would I put in it?
-Depends on circumstances, have done that. Just a backpack with hiking stuff and basic tools. Have knife, will travel.

19 What anonymous acts of kindness could I integrate into my daily life?
-Donating to people that do things I appreciate highly ( Hi Bill! so much for anonymity : ) )

20 What would it take to become the hero I’ve spent my life waiting for?
-Maybe anything to save my family, and people, from the devious onslaught it is under without knowing it...and much of the world will follow that path towards freedom, from there.


You are next.

Love, O.

[Words of Joy]

1 What, or who, is worth suffering for?
Everyone, including myself.
2 What can my most aggressive judgments of others tell me about myself?
That I need to work harder to not judge others.
3 Are my opinions of others fixed, or do they evolve? Is that fair?
Likely ever evolving. Might be fixed for some time. I think it's fair. People generally change over time and so do I.
4 If I could meet the best possible version of myself in an alternate reality, what would that person be like?
A person that doesn't hesitate to help those who clearly need it; remains ever loving\caring\enjoying; works on moving ahead spiritually
5 Do I more often verbalize what I believe, or what I know others will agree with?
What I believe (with risk of answer number 3)
6 If I were to die next week, what would be the resounding sentiment shared at my funeral?
Oof... that's a tough one. I honestly don't know. Best guess would be "He will be missed".
7 If I could create anything I wanted in life – be it wealth, romance, or success – but could never use social media again to show it to anyone, how would I choose to live?
Painting smiling faces on those who lost their smiles.
8 Does my daily routine reflect my long-term goals?
Yes! I try to make it core business to invest in learning/improving (playing guitar, learning foreign language, singing, reading, investing in relations). Cancelled out most of the noise in my life (t.v., games, pop-music). All to try and grow in service to others.
9 What do the things I envy in others tell me about what I really want to give myself?
That I want to become better in being good.
10 If I could wake up tomorrow 5 years in the past – knowing all that I do now – what would I do differently?
I would've sought contact with the Creator of our souls straight away, instead of three years later.
11 What do I do to avoid discomfort?
Argh... this is a painpoint for me. I avoid discomfort by simply shifting focus. But sometimes I shouldn't, and rather step outside the comfort zone to learn.
12 What are a few painful experiences I swore I’d never get past? How did I?
Hmmm... Don't want to assassinate my character here... :D Let's just say I made a couple of disastrous mistakes when I was younger, affecting both my own and other people's lives in a way that I regret. I got past them because I asked for forgiveness and also forgave myself.
13 What would it take to release my anger? With whom do I need to make amends?
See things from different perspectives. A 'Sorry' from the one sparking my anger also helps. (Don't get angry often though! Certainly trying to avoid that.) Amends have already been made
14 What did the people who hurt me most in life ultimately teach me?
To look at myself and look at their history.
15 Do I embody the qualities of the person that I always dreamed of marrying?
Ever improving. I think mostly yes, though also room for improvement.
16 At the end of my life when I look back on all I have done, what will stand out as having been important? What would I wish I had cared less about?
Being honest, loving. Wish I would've cared less about certain chemical reactions in my body followed by personal reaction.
17 What is the most common way I self-sabotage? What does it tell me about my unmet needs?
Taking things personal. I want more love! :D
18 If I had to leave the country and could only bring one box, what would I put in it?
Chocolates! Wouldn't want to be carrying too long.
19 What anonymous acts of kindness could I integrate into my daily life?
Prayer for people in need. Helping people in need online.
20 What would it take to become the hero I’ve spent my life waiting for?
More hard work, dedication, daily listening to the Holy Spirit for personal growth and guidance and following up, acceptance of rejection/misunderstanding or lack of understanding

[Strat]

Posted by Constance (here)

1. What, or who, is worth suffering for?
   Trick question considering life is suffering.
2. What can my most aggressive judgments of others tell me about myself?
   Avoiding the judgement of others has been hammered into my head for a long time. My judgements are very small everyday judgements like, "Is it safe to be around this person?"
3. Are my opinions of others fixed, or do they evolve? Is that fair?
   Evolve and yes that's fair that's the way beliefs work.
4. If I could meet the best possible version of myself in an alternate reality, what would that person be like?
   An enlightened person who is fully content with life.
5. Do I more often verbalize what I believe, or what I know others will agree with?
   More often then not, neither. Cast not ye pearls before swine. Sometimes I just don't have the energy (or don't care to) elaborate my beliefs.
6. If I were to die next week, what would be the resounding sentiment shared at my funeral?
   "Well at least now he has peace."
7. If I could create anything I wanted in life – be it wealth, romance, or success – but could never use social media again to show it to anyone, how would I choose to live?
   N/A, I don't use any social media unless Avalon counts. I imagine I'd live much in the same manner as I do now, just with whatever it is that I created.
8. Does my daily routine reflect my long-term goals?
   Honestly, no. I'm stuck in the ruts, spinning my wheels. But I don't quit, I keep moving forward even if very slowly.
9. What do the things I envy in others tell me about what I really want to give myself?
   I don't really envy, maybe to a small extent. I envy health. I envy the mind devoid of mental battles required to do normal human activities.
10. If I could wake up tomorrow 5 years in the past – knowing all that I do now – what would I do differently?
    Meditate... You're gonna need it.
11. What do I do to avoid discomfort?
    Meditate.
12. What are a few painful experiences I swore I’d never get past? How did I?
    I never done this. I get past bad experiences by just dropping it. Takes time (meditation is key).
13. What would it take to release my anger? With whom do I need to make amends?
    Now you hit a home run. I was bit by this poison at a young age and I never recovered. Father and brother come to mind. Mother has admitted her faults. For the other folks that I want to unleash my rage on it's not their fault so much as my learned over reaction. The case of, "It's not you, it's me." If I weren't mad at these individuals I'd be mad at something else. I'm sick with anger, it's an illness an it's a part of me
14. What did the people who hurt me most in life ultimately teach me?
    That I'm on my own. It's up to me alone to keep moving forward.
15. Do I embody the qualities of the person that I always dreamed of marrying?
    Some yes, some **** no.
16. At the end of my life when I look back on all I have done, what will stand out as having been important? What would I wish I had cared less about?
    I specifically try to help others in need so that I know my life wasn't totally a waste. I wish I cared less about 50% of my life, maybe more. It creates a lot of problems.
17. What is the most common way I self-sabotage? What does it tell me about my unmet needs?
    I don't stay mindful of my thoughts, they go round and round therefore I'm stuck in a whirlpool of self loathing. Dunno about unmet needs, I don't need anything really except some degree of contentment.
18. If I had to leave the country and could only bring one box, what would I put in it?
    I have a snarky joke but it would get me in trouble. Uhh, I dunno, I don't care. Pictures of family maybe. Not important, I've mastered the art of the spartan lifestyle.
19. What anonymous acts of kindness could I integrate into my daily life?
    I'm about tapped on this one. I'm often told I'm too nice.
20. What would it take to become the hero I’ve spent my life waiting for?
    1 chance.

My sleep schedule is waaay out of whack and I'm in zombie mode. Hopefully this makes sense.

[Constance]

Wow! Wow! Wow!

When I shared this, I was thinking of the 20 questions as being more of a self-reflecting kind of exercise for folks.

Strat, Orobo, Slobbe, your responses to the questions were all these things at once; humble, honest, intelligent, poignant, deeply moving, loving, majestic, awe-inspiring and profound. I want to say a very heartfelt thank you for sharing. It was such an honour.

You just blew me away.

[scanner]

Just wanting to be a better being, makes you a better being. There is no perfection.

[Orobo]

You also have to do something, or not do something, to get going.
Unless the wanting can make the gravity-well you can fall into enlightenment with. : )

O.