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Chapter 14 - The Sleeping Fine
Some years later, around 2001, SM was visiting one of his favourite coastal towns. During this time SM was exploring Buddhism and the meditation created by the Buddha called Vipassana. SM loved it’s simplicity. He had always been drawn to direct and elegant techniques, as opposed to convoluted ritual and mumbo jumbo. What could be more simple than sitting quietly, with eyes half closed, and watching the breath enter and leave the nostrils?
Buddha had indicated that every individual who awakened could raise the consciousness of the planet and be of great benefit to humankind, creating an ever expanding field of truth and compassion. Some referred to the energy around a living Buddha or Enlightened Being as a Buddhafield.
On arrival in the town SM had checked the carpark at the beach, as he knew the local Rangers were quite strict. There was no overnight camping allowed in the carpark. The signs specifically stated No Parking from 1 am - 5 am.
SM loved to meditate to the sound of the waves. The next morning SM proceeded to the carpark at around 5.15 am. It was quite a cold morning so he elected to meditate in the drivers seat of his car.
He had been meditating for about 30 minutes when he heard footsteps near his car. SM opened his eyes to see a Ranger placing a ticket under the windscreen wiper on the passenger side of the car. SM alighted and asked the Ranger what the ticket was for. The Ranger stated the ticket was for sleeping in the carpark.
SM informed the Ranger that he had been meditating, not sleeping, and had specifically not come to the carpark until after 5 am to adhere to the rules and regulations. The Ranger responded by telling SM that he could either pay the $110 fine, or write a letter.
As it turned out the fine was administrated by a State Fine Bureau in Sydney, some 800 km away. If SM wanted to contest the fine he would have to incur both the travel and accommodation expenses.
SM elected to write to the State Fine Bureau. The letter went something like this;
Hello and namaste.
Re: Penalty Notice ******125
I am an unemployed single father.
I am a vegetarian with no criminal record.
I live on a planet seemingly on the brink
of WWIII and Nuclear Annihilation.
While meditating to develop compassion and unconditional love,
I’ve just been fined $110 for sleeping... and I wasn’t even asleep!
Monty Python eat your heart out!
There followed a brief explanation of the facts, including the posted signs and the Rangers comments. I then advised them I could envisage my coming jail stay as follows (given that I did not intend to pay the fine);
Me - “So, Vinny, what’d they get you on?”
Vinny “The Knife” - “Conspiracy to commit murder, you?”
Me - “Sleep, but........ I didn’t do it”
Later in the evening, Vinny, disbelieving my professed innocence, would watch me closely while huddled in the cell corner, as my heavy eyelids would begin to gradually close completely, menacingly threatening to sleep.
It would be remiss of me, however, not to see things from Council’s point of view. What is really needed is a War on Sleep. Forget the War on Terror. In fact, why even wait until people sleep to fine them. Think of how much more funds Council could raise if you fined them for yawning! Any fool knows that someone yawning is probably already contemplating going to sleep!
We must think of the children! They can’t be exposed to people sleeping in cars. We all know where that slippery slope leads. What next? I’ll tell you what next – relaxed, happy, well rested people in our parks and beaches - and we all know what that could lead to.
What is really needed is a special Ranger unit, it could be called S.W.A.T. A.S.S. (Special weapons and tactics against Sleepers and Snorers) or even an elite army unit called the S.A.S. (Special Anti Sleepers).
SM signed off on the letter with a few choice quotes;
“Foxes have holes and birds have their nests, but the son of man has nowhere to lay his head and rest” – Jesus
“Whoever says that the Tathagata goes or comes, stands, sits or lies down, he does not understand the meaning of my teaching” - Buddha
“Last night while sleeping I dreamt I was a butterfly. Or am I now a butterfly dreaming I am a man” – Chuang Tzu
“Go ahead, make me snore” - Dirty Harry
Someone at the Bureau must have had a sense of humour, as they waived the fine. SM has since been fined for walking (across the road, while the “Don’t Walk” sign was flashing, with no cars visible for 100 metres in either direction). He is now awaiting the introduction of legislation, so that he can achieve the trifecta ie being fined for sleeping, walking and breathing.
Shadowman now knows rules and laws have their place in society, but a little common sense in enforcing them, wouldn’t go astray.
Reference Song
Monty Python - Always look on the bright side of life