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    Default Battle for my soul?

    "Jeff" is currently staying in my house. Jeff is in his 60s and has been meditating for several decades. He has psychic powers and has dealt with black magic, communicates with various devas, and can see beings from other dimensions or the astral realms.

    For those who read my thread about the mantra Kunci, "Jeff" is a direct disciple of Romo Semono. I am not sure about his "level" so to speak, but suffice to say he has first hand experience of dealing with metaphysical matters.

    Over the last 10 days or so 4 scary events have happened.

    Event 1: during meditation an image of me spontaneously appeared before Jeff. He was not thinking about me or anything. Attached to my crown chakra were one or two black nails. They were around 5 cm long, black, but no rust. Romo (God, see post about Kunci mantra) used Jeff as an instrument to remove it. Jeff didnt tell me about this incident until several days later. When he did he said this nail is used to influence in a negative way. Upon death, it will lead you towards darkness. Crown chakra is important for connecting with cosmic energy, it was no coincident that the nail was on the crown chakra.

    Event 2: Another person staying at my house asked Jeff to check if he had nails attached to his crown chakra. During meditation instead of getting an image of the other person Jeff had an encounter with a high level entity from another dimension. It was the being who had placed the nail on my head / crown chakra in the first place. Jeff have had many encounters with beings from astral realms, usually low-level beings. The low-level beings usually flee quickly when they see that Jeff can see them and/or are repelled/dislike the light/positive energy emanating from Jeff. This being was different. It was observing. It was from another dimension. Jeff said this other dimension was pitch black, he had never seen this blackness before. He could´nt see the being, as he tried to "look" towards it the two opposing dimensions (imagine a a piece of paper lying on the table which you then gently rotate, imagine thw white paper is our dimension and next to it is the other dimension, which was pitch black, if you rotate the paper so too does the other dimension. this is what happened as Jeff tried to look sideways). This being held a small torch which gave a small beam of search light. It observed Jeff before going slowly away. Jeff said it must have been a high level being, since it was not afraid and everything was extremely black. Since the nail had been removed, it probably came to inspect.

    Event 3: some days later again 5 entities arrived on the scene during Jeff´s evening/night meditation. Again, Jeff was not intentionally looking out for anything, but because his faculties are open he can sense these type of beings. When Jeff asked who they were they answered they came for me. These 5 beings were very big, gangster-type looking, broad shoulders, very strong. Jeff said they were not allowed. The leader of the 5 pressed forward, as if wanting to break through, force their way, but was stopped. It was not Jeff who stopped them, but Romo (God). They then fled.

    Event 4: Today Jeff told me about the current last event. Yesterday a short man, with little hair on his head, approached. This being was alone. Jeff was not meditating at the time, just relaxing in bed, listening to a song. He asked who is there. The being didnt reply but was merely laughing at him, mocking him. This being was higher level than the gangster-types from event 3. it stood there for some time. Jeff said he had never experienced something like this before.

    What I know is that these encounters are connected to me. I have a porn addiction which I have been struggling with for many years. I know this uncontrollable force can be very destructive, but I have yet to free myself from this terrible habit. Yesterday night, within the same time frame Jeff gave for when this being approached him, I was indeed looking at porn. At the very same time! But I was the only one up, so no one knew or could suspect what I was doing. This beings from the other realms were probably aware. I believe it laughed at Jeff as once Jeff leaves in a few days, I will be left to my own devices, and unless I correct my ways, these beings will regain influence over me. My aura is weak and does not protect me (Jeff had another vision). As I looked at pornography last night I felt as I often do, uncomfortable, warm energy. I went to bed very late. This morning I couldn´t deal with strong desires any longer and ejaculated. The uncomfortable warm energy stayed with me for many hours, but right now it is gone and instead I feel energy on top oy my head. Jeff emphasized I was at a crossroad and that all this was a very serious matter. He does not know of my porn addiction but warned me of the dangers if I not correct my ways. He said I must meditate daily (two different mantras) + correct my ways by constant introspection. A putro (see post about Kunci mantra) has to be clean all 7 layers of the body.

    I have read a lot of literature about various metaphysical matters, but I never suspected I was a target. I am certain it is my unwholesome strong sexual desire and subsequent porn abuse which has opened me up for attack. I invited these negative being into my life. I have to find utmost discipline and commit to daily meditation and introspection to get out of the "mud" before I sink deeper. Jeff said this was a very serious matter. He will leave in a few days and after that it will be hard if not impossible for me to know what is going on and/if negative beings continue to visit. I want to prove that laughing bald man wrong.

    This sounds like a fairy tale, but this is all very serious. I write this down partially for me own sake as a "diary", but in the off chance anyone knows anything about this of course I am eager to hear from you.

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    Default Re: Battle for my soul?

    I would not depend on anyone else or take their word for anything.
    Your soul is eternal and can not be harmed in anyway.
    Chris
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    Default Re: Battle for my soul?

    Quote Posted by greybeard (here)
    I would not depend on anyone else or take their word for anything.
    Your soul is eternal and can not be harmed in anyway.
    Chris
    There are entities that are fed by human sexual energy, especially masturbation. He will have to abstain from masturbation for six months to starve these entities away. Sounds like he won't even attempt it, though. But he will be no worse off than he had been before he knew what was going on metaphysically. It sounds like he is trying to pursue some esoteric path. In such a pursuit, all parasites will eventually wake up and present an obstacle to pursuing that path. It's not serious in the everyday, ordinary human sense. How serious it is depends on how seriously he takes his spirituality.
    Last edited by TomKat; 15th September 2019 at 09:03.

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    Default Re: Battle for my soul?



    High sexual drive comes from high Shen (awareness) which rolls down the microcosmic orbit to the perenium where it attracts more Jing. Some people have energy blockages at the abdomen which inhibits the transmutation of Jing into Chi (which takes place in the purification fires of the heart as Jing rises up to the middle cauldron). If the abdomen is blocked, the Jing builds up pressure (desire) until it’s forced out of ‘the gate of mortality’ as some Qigong people call it, the poetic term for ejaculating.

    You’ll need to develop an exercise routine that strengthens the glutes, perineum and lower abdomen, while simultaneously working on clearing the chi blockages. You can do that by utilising the mantras your friend gave you and instead of masturbating while watching porn, do the chants while watching porn and focus on raising the intense sensations of desire up to the heart chakra. Use a combination of desire energy and resonance to force the chi channels open. You’ll know if you’ve been successful because the heart energies are just as intense yet vitalising, without losing energy through the mortal gate, it’s what people like Mantak Chia describe as the full body orgasm, the conversion of Jing into Chi.



    Now you can either meditate to still the Chi energy into Shen (which produces deeper insight or mystical visions into the finer structures of reality) or use the Chi energy for extra endurance and intensity in the gym. Keep the practice up for a month or more and the dark entities will be fleeing from pure Atman force in no time.


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    Default Re: Battle for my soul?

    A question Jayke,
    Any idea what it mean if a "full body orgasm" (as you mentioned) occurs and arches someone right out-of-body without any attempting or even knowledge of a particular practice or discipline?
    just curious. Thanks
    "We're all bozos on this bus"

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    Default Re: Battle for my soul?

    Mantak Chia well worth a read--I studied his work before I really got into Non-duality.
    Have found personally it is true that you as a male can have organism with out ejaculation--its down to timing--not easy but worthwhile.
    Yes in duality there are lower astral entities that feed on human emotions.
    In non duality its irrelevant.
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    Default Re: Battle for my soul?

    I know how you feel im in the same boat as you but maybe worse. Im schizophrenic and I hear and talk to voices. I take meds buts they still don't go away. The voices tell me im a demon and im going to hell. They are spirits from heaven and are watching me all day long and tell me im bad. Its my thoughts I have some very negative thoughts sometimes and I cant believe the terrible things I said to them about god and jesus, and I think I might of also sold my soul by mistake. That's only some of it there is more, but it never ends. Its like I know im alive but when I die im going to hell and there is nothing I can do about it. Talk about anxiety.....

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    Default Re: Battle for my soul?

    Quote Posted by Ayt (here)
    A question Jayke,
    Any idea what it mean if a "full body orgasm" (as you mentioned) occurs and arches someone right out-of-body without any attempting or even knowledge of a particular practice or discipline?
    just curious. Thanks
    The Taoists call it ‘Yin Shen emanation’, whereas we’d call it astral projection. It shows that you’ve either done the practice or discipline in past lives and you’re just picking up where you left off, albeit this time instinctively, without a traditional user manual. Or you cultivated great merit, great karma, in your past lives so that this life you’re blessed to begin your spiritual cultivation work from a high stage of development. You have open chi channels that makes Yin Shen work come naturally to you.

    Bill Bodris book ‘What is Enlightenment?’ is great for understanding the different stages of development, to know where to go from there to progress to the next stages of alchemy work. Next step ‘Yang Shen emanations’, i.e. creating physical matter from thought and projecting physical body doubles of yourself to interact with the world. Always thought Yang Shen would be really cool, way beyond my cultivation level in this life though, maybe in another 1000 years.

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    Default Re: Battle for my soul?

    "My hell is the worst because it happened to me."
    You will hear that at any 12 step group meeting.
    Its true--life is as it is.
    Personalty, listening to the Self Realized has been the biggest help--after getting off addiction to alcohol.
    I had to be in a place to be ready to hear and act on advice.
    To surrender to a "Power greater than self"
    Before there was a certain pay and pain value in being the most miserable!
    It made me special in a unique perverse/way---no body had it as bad as me.
    That's true it was body and mind--when I got that I am not the body not the mind, things started to get better.
    For myself I found it helpful to cross check what the Enlightened were saying.
    I got out of following a specific teacher but got into listening to the message--which is uniform in non-duality.
    One without a second--only consciousness exists and that is eternal --omnipresent--omnipotent.
    People have freedom of choice - believe what will you will-choose love not fear I suggest.

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    Default Re: Battle for my soul?

    Quote Posted by mindbend8r (here)
    I know how you feel im in the same boat as you but maybe worse. Im schizophrenic and I hear and talk to voices. I take meds buts they still don't go away. The voices tell me im a demon and im going to hell. They are spirits from heaven and are watching me all day long and tell me im bad. Its my thoughts I have some very negative thoughts sometimes and I cant believe the terrible things I said to them about god and jesus, and I think I might of also sold my soul by mistake. That's only some of it there is more, but it never ends. Its like I know im alive but when I die im going to hell and there is nothing I can do about it. Talk about anxiety.....
    Maybe you should be talking to angels instead of demons?

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    Default Re: Battle for my soul?

    Quote Posted by TomKat (here)
    Quote Posted by mindbend8r (here)
    I know how you feel im in the same boat as you but maybe worse. Im schizophrenic and I hear and talk to voices. I take meds buts they still don't go away. The voices tell me im a demon and im going to hell. They are spirits from heaven and are watching me all day long and tell me im bad. Its my thoughts I have some very negative thoughts sometimes and I cant believe the terrible things I said to them about god and jesus, and I think I might of also sold my soul by mistake. That's only some of it there is more, but it never ends. Its like I know im alive but when I die im going to hell and there is nothing I can do about it. Talk about anxiety.....
    Maybe you should be talking to angels instead of demons?
    God and Jesus take no offense at all. They know the heart of man.
    Forget about it

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    Default Re: Battle for my soul?

    Quote I would not depend on anyone else or take their word for anything. Your soul is eternal and can not be harmed in anyway.
    my worry is not the destruction of the soul, but to be injured with new nails and enslaved by these entities for a long time in the afterlife. But although I agree the soul cannot be killed, the body can. And perhaps prematurely as well.

    As for depending on others, I used to think like that too. I followed the Buddhist path which initially appealed to me due the the seemingly high amount of self-dependence. But even there, I have later seen, there is dependence. Since you speak of duality you know there is good and bad. I think it´s good to accept help from the good. Through the grace of others more accomplished than yourself or by Romo (God) you can progress faster.

    Quote There are entities that are fed by human sexual energy, especially masturbation. He will have to abstain from masturbation for six months to starve these entities away. Sounds like he won't even attempt it, though. But he will be no worse off than he had been before he knew what was going on metaphysically. It sounds like he is trying to pursue some esoteric path. In such a pursuit, all parasites will eventually wake up and present an obstacle to pursuing that path. It's not serious in the everyday, ordinary human sense. How serious it is depends on how seriously he takes his spirituality.
    Thanks for the tip. I think it will be enough to refrain from pornography and masturbation (not that I think that will be easy enough). I cannot recall feeling intense negative energy during actual sex. Sexual intercourse done the right way is mixture of yin and yang, it can be highly valuable according to various schools of thought. I don´t know how long the nail have been there and don´t know what it does, so I am perplexed as to how you can confidently say I would not be any worse off. Now that I know about these entities watching though I hope to gain the extra motivation needed to break free. Interestingly enough, many years ago, before I started this new path, I said to myself that my strong unhealthy sexual desire is my main spiritual battle in this life. This incident seems to confirm that.

    According to Jeff there are entities who can actually kill. Jeff has told me how he was once attacked by a group of beings. If they were to drag his astral body far and long enough away, what do you think would happen to his physical body in the end? Would the silver cord break? The people who say the silver cord cannot break are the ones who always returned safely. But I digress (to finish the story I started, Jeff asked God for help upon these beings immediately "poof" away).

    Quote You’ll need to develop an exercise routine that strengthens the glutes, perineum and lower abdomen, while simultaneously working on clearing the chi blockages. You can do that by utilising the mantras your friend gave you and instead of masturbating while watching porn, do the chants while watching porn and focus on raising the intense sensations of desire up to the heart chakra. Use a combination of desire energy and resonance to force the chi channels open. You’ll know if you’ve been successful because the heart energies are just as intense yet vitalising, without losing energy through the mortal gate, it’s what people like Mantak Chia describe as the full body orgasm, the conversion of Jing into Chi.
    Your suggestion of chanting while masturbating sounds counterproductive, but if I fail to abstain completely I will keep your advice in mind. I think you are right about chakra blockage. The mantra I am using is already helping take care of that, it´s just that I am not a disciplined meditator yet. Jeff told me I should baptize. He said every religion has their symbol/mark. When you baptize (or take initiation in any religion) you will be marked with the sign. Other entities can see this sign. To attack you then is to challenge the sign itself. Of course, you have to prove yourself worthy of the sign as well. I have a book on practical psychic self defense which I never read. I think now is the time. Thanks for the video name drop, two more things to check out.

    Quote I know how you feel im in the same boat as you but maybe worse. Im schizophrenic and I hear and talk to voices. I take meds buts they still don't go away. The voices tell me im a demon and im going to hell. They are spirits from heaven and are watching me all day long and tell me im bad. Its my thoughts I have some very negative thoughts sometimes and I cant believe the terrible things I said to them about god and jesus, and I think I might of also sold my soul by mistake. That's only some of it there is more, but it never ends. Its like I know im alive but when I die im going to hell and there is nothing I can do about it. Talk about anxiety.....
    How can the spirits claim to be from heaven if they are evil in speech and deeds? If they say there is nothing you can do about it it makes me think it´s completely the opposite which is true. Those beings might feed off from your distress/negativity and say such things to try to weaken you and keep you down. I don´t know anything about schizophrenia so be careful taking advice from me, it just wouldn´t surprise me if real negative entities have something to do with it.

    Quote Before there was a certain pay and pain value in being the most miserable!
    I also took consolation in that when I felt at worst from my addiction.
    Quote I got out of following a specific teacher but got into listening to the message--which is uniform in non-duality.
    This is why I liked Buddhism so much in the earlier days. Still like the teachings a lot, but now I practice something else. I try to listen to the teacher inside you, accessed by Kunci, no need to look outside, I agree.

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    Default Re: Battle for my soul?

    Quote Posted by radeev (here)
    Quote You’ll need to develop an exercise routine that strengthens the glutes, perineum and lower abdomen, while simultaneously working on clearing the chi blockages. You can do that by utilising the mantras your friend gave you and instead of masturbating while watching porn, do the chants while watching porn and focus on raising the intense sensations of desire up to the heart chakra. Use a combination of desire energy and resonance to force the chi channels open. You’ll know if you’ve been successful because the heart energies are just as intense yet vitalising, without losing energy through the mortal gate, it’s what people like Mantak Chia describe as the full body orgasm, the conversion of Jing into Chi.
    Your suggestion of chanting while masturbating sounds counterproductive, but if I fail to abstain completely I will keep your advice in mind. I think you are right about chakra blockage. The mantra I am using is already helping take care of that, it´s just that I am not a disciplined meditator yet. Jeff told me I should baptize. He said every religion has their symbol/mark. When you baptize (or take initiation in any religion) you will be marked with the sign. Other entities can see this sign. To attack you then is to challenge the sign itself. Of course, you have to prove yourself worthy of the sign as well. I have a book on practical psychic self defense which I never read. I think now is the time. Thanks for the video name drop, two more things to check out.
    Chanting while masurbating!

    Thats certainly would be counterproductive!! I never suggested to chant while masturbating. I said chant while watching porn, tie your hands behind your back if you have to, or sit on your fingers. You're definitely not to touch yourself while chanting.

    The purpose is re-pattern your neurology, physiology and biology as to how you respond to your addictive triggers, while simultaneously opening up chi channels to improve the flow of energy through your system. Watch porn as you normally would (when you feel the urge to) but instead of masturbating, harness the desire energy through chant until you feel the desire energy rise into your chest, as the Jing transmutes into Chi, you'll feel the urge to masturbate dissipate. Then use the extra energy in your system to do something productive, like work out, read a book, or meditate.

    Utilising the desire energy by sending it through new pathways is how you break the cycle of addiction without succumbing to the intensity of the desire.
    Last edited by Jayke; 15th September 2019 at 21:10.

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    Default Re: Battle for my soul?

    radeev you seem to rely on Jeff as an authority--you mention his name quite often.
    I would look for a "Second opinion"so to speak.
    This is why I said I cross check with various Enlightened spiritual teachers.
    There are many who think they are gurus because they have studied and done some practices--the truly enlightened are far beyond these.
    True calling on the name of Christ will frighten off entities-- in duality--but thats part of Maya.
    Non-duality is free of demons etc.
    Wear the world like a loose garment.
    Repetition is important listening regularly to enlightened--on u tube will get you from thinking you are not the body or mind to knowing this--then fear is just not possible.
    The enlightened have an energy which is transferable--through constant --repeated exposure.
    There are threads on the subject in the spiritual section--worth a look.
    Wishing you freedom.
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    Default Re: Battle for my soul?

    Quote Chanting while masurbating!

    Thats certainly would be counterproductive!! I never suggested to chant while masturbating. I said chant while watching porn, tie your hands behind your back if you have to, or sit on your fingers. You're definitely not to touch yourself while chanting.
    Lol, hehe. I see that I misread your initial reply there. Guess I was trying to reply too many too fast. Nonetheless thanks for clarifying. I know what to do, it´s just very hard for me to do it. But harder the lesson, harder the gains.

    Quote radeev you seem to rely on Jeff as an authority--you mention his name quite often.
    I would look for a "Second opinion"so to speak.
    This is why I said I cross check with various Enlightened spiritual teachers.
    There are many who think they are gurus because they have studied and done some practices--the truly enlightened are far beyond these.
    True calling on the name of Christ will frighten off entities-- in duality--but thats part of Maya.
    Non-duality is free of demons etc.
    Wear the world like a loose garment.
    Repetition is important listening regularly to enlightened--on u tube will get you from thinking you are not the body or mind to knowing this--then fear is just not possible.
    The enlightened have an energy which is transferable--through constant --repeated exposure.
    There are threads on the subject in the spiritual section--worth a look.
    Wishing you freedom.
    Chris
    As I strive to follow the same path as him, and he is very experienced as he is much older than me, he is indeed an authority. There might be a chance his strong psychic powers (verified numerous times) impress me more than it should, as ultimately they are more a fruit than the actual goal. He is not my guru though, my only guru is life/god inside me.

    it is interesting to hear about duality and non-duality. The old me was always interested in learning more about these matters. But in the end it goes back to simple things. Rather than learning more I now have to focus on basic things, like exercising restraint, discipline etc. Now Jeff has left and so there wont be much news I presume. The last vision he told me was how he, while we were sitting opposed to each other on the subway two days ago, saw a small spirit girl sitting next to me. This particular spirit was not evil he said, more like a little sister, but long-term exposure is unhealthy so he put up an invisible wall to block the spirit from me. The girl got sad. I have had my fill of spirit encounters lately. Wonder how common it is, and perhaps how many of us are visited/attacked without even knowing it.

    Thanks everyone for your replies, gave me some food for thought.

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    United States Avalon Member Sammy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Battle for my soul?

    Quote Posted by Jayke (here)
    Bill Bodri's book ‘What is Enlightenment?’ is great for understanding the different stages of development, to know where to go from there to progress to the next stages of alchemy work.
    Bought the book, am into it and already impressed.

    Quote Posted by Jayke (here)
    Next step ‘Yang Shen emanations’, i.e. creating physical matter from thought and projecting physical body doubles of yourself to interact with the world. Always thought Yang Shen would be really cool, way beyond my cultivation level in this life though, maybe in another 1000 years.
    Interesting... the first is not something I wish to accomplish as I don't trust myself... but the second one - "projecting physical body doubles of yourself to interact with the world" is something I know I once did (I only learned I did more than a year after the act) and which I would like to explore where I do so with conscious intent as long as I can do so in an honest way. To be more specific, as long as I know I could/would be the same, say the same in the flesh... I consider that honest.
    All the above is all and only my opinion - all subject to change and not meant to be true for anyone else regardless of how I phrase it.

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    Default Re: Battle for my soul?

    Quote Posted by Sammy (here)
    Quote Posted by Jayke (here)
    Next step ‘Yang Shen emanations’, i.e. creating physical matter from thought and projecting physical body doubles of yourself to interact with the world. Always thought Yang Shen would be really cool, way beyond my cultivation level in this life though, maybe in another 1000 years.
    Interesting... the first is not something I wish to accomplish as I don't trust myself... but the second one - "projecting physical body doubles of yourself to interact with the world" is something I know I once did (I only learned I did more than a year after the act) and which I would like to explore where I do so with conscious intent as long as I can do so in an honest way. To be more specific, as long as I know I could/would be the same, say the same in the flesh... I consider that honest.
    Bill Bodri does share a couple stories in his other books on bi-location and astral projection, which he plucks from the various sutras or zen parables. In regards to Yin Shen emanation, the Zen masters say to never stray too far from the body as it’s easy to lose oneself in the astral plane. Solomonic magic has a similar principle in that one should never step outside of the circle while recruiting daemons from the astral plane to do ones bidding.

    St Germain is supposed be the last Western master who accomplished bi-location. The Zen stories talk of masters who use bi-location in curious ways. Rather than project a body double of themselves, they’ll project a Yang Shen emanation of a lion or tiger on the path that leads up to the mountain they reside on, as a way to deter or frighten students who are seeking them out, to test their mettle, character or worthiness of becoming an initiate.

    How it’s done though? I’d be surprised if Bill Bodri has even cultivated that far.

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    United States Avalon Member Sammy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Battle for my soul?

    In February of 2000 the following occurred. My wife at that time had experienced four suicide attempts over the course of the prior three or so months. Our family (my wife, our three sons and myself) had been living on the island, Curaçao. Due to whatever issues with which she had been struggling, she was in Dallas, Texas, USA (which was our original home) when the following story took place.

    I, being in Curaçao, was in a board meeting of my company when a phone call interrupted us. It was one of my staff informing me that my wife had done it again and it did not look good.

    At this point, I was so numb by it all, I said to myself, "if that is truly her wish, then so be it," and I finished the meeting which lasted another 15 or so minutes. But the moment the meeting ended, I ran down to my car and drove as fast as I could to our home where I went to the bedroom and, without knowing why I thought to do this, I faced what I perceived was the direction of Dallas and allowed all the emotions to well up where I implored "God," "Please, don't let her die." The experience lasted maybe a minute.

    I recall it must have been an hour later where I had spent my time trying to locate her. I learned that she had been taken to Presbyterian Hospital. I called and explained who I was and why I was calling. I eventually was connected to the doctor. The following is paraphrased but is not embellished in any way that distorts the general gist of what took place in the conversation.

    "Mr. Hunter. You wife was dead. I had moved to a corner of the room where there was a ledge so that I could write my report. The nurses were cleaning and organizing the instruments, etc. Suddenly (like in the movies) she sprung up with eyes wide open and let out a loud gasp, exhalation of air. We rushed back into action and I can't explain it, but she's alive."

    Fast forward to four weeks later. She called me from the psychiatric hospital she had been taken to (which so happened to be the same one she ended up in after her first attempt just three or so months prior). She said, "Hi honey... just wanted you to know, I'm all better now and am coming home" (meaning back to Curaçao). I will never forget that weird feeling it was her and yet it wasn't. Anyways, soon she arrived yet sadly, the series of events had taken their toll on us both and our marriage deteriorated. It is important to note that drug abuse (marijuana, alcohol and cocaine) was involved (for both of us) and worsened.

    In the spring of 2001 we were sitting together on the porch and I felt compelled to ask her the following, "What was the difference? What made the difference that you stopped with all those suicides?"

    She answered, "Simple... you came for me." I said, "what?" "She said, "You came for me... that's what I wanted, that's what I needed to know... that I was the most important 'thing' to you."

    Of course, I didn't "come for her." I was in Curaçao and she was dying from an overdose of sleeping pills in Dallas. I told her, "You know I love you, you know I love you as my most dearest wife, I love you more than life... but why do you say I came for you?" I could then see her becoming thoughtful And then she spoke as if speaking more so to herself. She said, "You were there... pressing up against the window with your hands cupped around your eyes as you peered in against the glass... it was you! You came for me."

    So I then made what I now look upon as a terrible mistake. I told her, "Mandy, dear... understand, I was in Curaçao... you know that. I couldn't have come for you."

    I suddenly saw her turn from a listening state to a state completely perplexed and then I saw her sink. And I knew that she suddenly realized what she had believed could not possibly have been true. I look back upon that moment as if I had killed whatever was left of her then and there.

    It was within six months our "War of the Roses" reached its peak and divorce took place after over 11 years together, followed by additional tragedies for us all (meaning my sons, Mandy and myself) but these are outside of the story.

    It was years later I became acquainted with folks in this community. Along the way, I shared this story a few times. What I have been told and am inclined to believe, is that when I went into that emotional, energetic imploring state, I projected myself to her as she was leaving her body and that the interaction she described suggests this may very well be what happened. I just didn't know this when I told her what crushed her reality... I just didn't know we could do this, that we do this.

    There's a dark additional chapter to this story beyond what I just shared and is best left for another post if I ever write it.
    Last edited by Sammy; 23rd September 2019 at 00:22.
    All the above is all and only my opinion - all subject to change and not meant to be true for anyone else regardless of how I phrase it.

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    Default Re: Battle for my soul?

    I noticed Bodri emphasizes early on not to confuse various psi abilities with enlightenment.

    In fact he has a chapter entitled, "Superpowers and Psychic Abilities Do Not Indicate Enlightenment"

    Since 2012, I have experienced a significant increase in psi abilities... abilities I have experienced in small ways since I was a child. I would not think myself enlightened though I have had more than one experience of direct apprehension (in one case, I "pink clouded it" for two months), but it never lasted. I always got bored and dove back into samsara.

    If someone asks me if I am enlightened, I usually reply, "Sure... I'm stark raving enlightened." I think that answers the question appropriately.
    All the above is all and only my opinion - all subject to change and not meant to be true for anyone else regardless of how I phrase it.

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    Default Re: Battle for my soul?

    Quote Posted by greybeard (here)
    I would not depend on anyone else or take their word for anything.
    Your soul is eternal and can not be harmed in anyway.
    Chris
    Not a pedantic point I hope, but I would think it's more accurate to say 'Your Spirit is eternal and can not be harmed in anyway', or would you not make a distinction between the Spirit and the Soul?

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